Rose, what was your first impression of me? I thought you wore too much makeup and were a slut. I was wrong. You don't wear too much makeup.

On this episode of the commercial break, we're giving this sale of a sectomy. We're cutting it at the nuts. $39.99 today only. Come down to John. Dig four. Get yourself some free ice cream. Don't worry. We got pork, corn, and pizza for the kids. A free pack of caramelites to any kid under 18 year old that shows up at John Dick Ford right now.

That's the way it is.

This is our best salesman, Jimmy. He's tried to jump off the roof four times this month. You gotta get here quick. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah, cats and kittens. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is the brat to my white boy, Summer. Kristen joy. Homely. Best to you, Chrissy.

Best to you, Brad.

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thank you. Staying on trend, staying on topic. Trying to get with the kids. I mean, the truth is, I do so much Internet trolling. I'm with it. I get it. I understand. But what's really funny for me right now is watching every news broadcaster in the world struggle for their little pee brains to understand what brat means. It's like, it's so funny. If you watch any of the conservative channels, they're like, she's calling her a brat. That can't be a good thing. Conspiracy afoot. If you watch the more liberal channels or the left leaning channels that they're just struggling to understand what this means. I think it means a messy woman and. Okay, just try. Sure. Why don't you just go on the Internet and watch some memes and then you'll understand exactly what brat means.

Exactly.

Kamala is brat. It's not. This doesn't say Kamala. Kamala is a brat. It says Kamala is brat. Charlie xx, of course, having a wonderful summer herself.

Brat girl summer.

Brat girl Summer with an album that is just killing it and live appearances that are just killing it.

That's a great album.

I listened to some of it I really enjoyed. It's a hippity dibbidy hip hop Christmas.

Yes, it is.

The kids are really boogieing down to that record.

Yes. That lp.

I think. Who was it? Maybe it was Rachel Maddow. And she was like, charlie XEx is having a great summer with her record. And I was like, oh, you sound 80. You sound 80. Even. She was struggling anyway. She's struggling to figure it out, but Charlie XCX is having quite the summer with that out with that album, and it is, it's catchy, you got to admit. It's catch that.

You know, there's usually that one album each summer.

Yep.

That blows out. It's brat Summer, and it's a brat summer.

It's a brat.

So I'm here for it.

You know what? It's not. It's not a Katy Perry summer, is what it's not. Have you been keeping up with this?

No. I, snippets of, I mean, Brian, there's just so much.

I know.

There's so much in the world, you.

Know, but she's jingling and jangling around.

I know. It's, it's, it's like, you know, I was making homemade dumplings the other night, and I don't suggest that.

Oh, that sounds utilitarian.

Trader Joe's does a fantastic job with, with them frozen, and they're so much easier. But I got it in my head, I'm gonna make these dumplings. So I was making the homemade dough and then the filling for it, you know, it's asian. So I was grading the ginger, making everything, scallop, chopping scallions, doing the whole thing, and by the end of it, I was like, this is way too.

Much for a tiny bite of food that will be gone in 5 seconds.

It was too much work.

Yeah. Leave that to the professionals.

Yeah.

Did you like, rewrapping them and stuff?

Yes, I was wrapping them. So that's what I was trying to say, is that my brain feels like a dumpling that is overfilled, squishing out too much ginger information. I don't know.

It's coming out from all woman's world. Bianca Sorosi. You can't.

Politics. Exactly. Exactly.

Well, I do have to say, I mean, you live in a, you have a different perspective of the world because you very carefully choose what you get yourself involved in and what you watch in which, and I don't. I'm just like, I want to digest it all. I'm like, I'm like a monster. Information monster. I want to stay relevant. It's not that I want to stay relevant. It's that I like to watch the trend. Like, I like that stuff. It's interesting to me, and I like.

To, I do, too, go down those rabbits. I try and sign up for some newsletters that can kind of keep me.

Yeah.

Abreast of everything I have not seen. What is the latest Katy Perry?

Katy Perry. I mean, everybody knows Katy Perry, and she is representative, squarely representative of that 2010s pop world, that pop culture. And in a lot of ways, she was funny, ironic, beautiful. She's like this good christian girl that kind of, you know, listen.

Sexy and kissed a girl.

Went sexy and kissed a girl and Katy Perry. It was like Katy Perry summer for, like five summers in a row. That one album she put out.

Fireworks.

Yeah. There was only one song. One or two songs out of that album that she put out where, you know, da da da da da da da. All of them. You can you remember all of them. There was only one or two of those songs that didn't get into the top ten.

Right.

It was an amazing album. It crushed it. You put her in, like, the ethos of some of the best pop culture icons ever. Song of musicians cheated the Super bowl where fireworks shoot out of her tits or something.

Probably.

Yes.

I think they should have.

They should have. She was the it girl for a long time. And then for some unbelievably, incredibly dumb reason. And I have to say, I think this is where it faltered, where she. Where the falter starts to happen. A little bit of she just did. Never had anybody, you know, I imagine because we'll never know this now. Imagine when you get some degree of fame, there's a team of people behind you and a trusted team of people, like, people you trust.

Trusted advisors.

Trusted advisors. That's right. Chrissy. We don't have any trusted advice. Blue is our only trusted advisor, and she just yells at everything we do.

My friend Kimmy used to be my trusted advisor, but she moved.

Yeah, she moved.

And listen, we used to laugh about that. Just an advisor.

Kimmy's brat. Kimmy's brat. Kind of messy party girl, you know, but a rock star nonetheless.

Yes.

So Katie makes this move to American Idol for some reason.

I knew she was on that, and.

I imagine that her team says, one of the biggest television shows in the world, you're going to get so much exposure. You can branch out into other things. It's just going to be great for your career.

Well, I feel like everybody or a lot of the biggest names kind of make rotate, kind of rotate in and out on these types of shows. America's got Talent, masked singer, american idol.

But I don't think you ever see, like, super, super stars. Like, I don't. Has Lady Gaga ever been on one of those shows? I don't think so, but I don't know.

John Legend.

John Legend was on. Okay, so there's, like, exceptions to the rule. Sometimes your fame out shines. Any mistakes that you make, like, you make mistakes, you falter. People are there. Katie goes on American Idol, and I think. And she becomes a mother, and maybe she's going through a different stage in her life. I don't know. That's a personal choice. Whatever. Cool. You know, I totally understand. Parenting changes your life. Maybe you're just not that into being out at the clubs and, you know, promoting music and all that stuff. Or maybe you're just not into music at the time. Who knows?

Yeah.

But she does this big comeback album. By all accounts, people are desiring, like, her fans, the pop culture world. The pop music world is desiring another killer Katy Perry album. She's been off the. She's been, you know, over at American Idol for a while doing her thing. Let's make some fantastic fucking music, Katie. Let's do it.

Yeah.

And I think everybody can agree, you know? Listen, Katie's a likable character from all accounts. I'm rooting for her.

Me too.

Right? I'm rooting for her and. But this incredibly dumb song that she put out, I don't know what she was thinking. First of all, in case you don't know, she was produced by Doctor Luke. Doctor Luke was accused by Kesha of rape.

Wait, that guy?

Yes. Was it rape or sexual assault? It was something bad. And they settled it out of court, and it all got handled. And Doctor Luke, by most people, stayed away from Doctor Luke because they said, I don't want to be attached to that kind of stigma. So, you know, Katie also worked with Doctor Luke. He was largely responsible for a lot of her hits. And for some reason, inexplicable again, she decided, and our management team decided it'd be great if we hook up again with Doctor Luke. It's not that, you know, I want to be careful about how I say this. I get it. Like, innocent until proven guilty, all that other bullshit. I get it. But I also understand there is perception, there is reality, and then there's just, like, a healthy dose of pragmatism. Like, this was my good friend Kesha, and I'm Katy Perry. And even though I made a huge string of hits with Doctor Luke, maybe I should just stay away from him. There are plenty of other well credited, absolutely talented producers out there that can help me make the album that I want to make.

Nicky Jams.

Nikki fucking jams, dude. Well, he can't say anything. We gotta be careful about what we say.

Inside joke.

Yeah, little inside joke. We'll be careful what we say about Nikki, but love Nikki. Nikki could have been, you know, Nicki could have helped her.

I don't know.

He's a great producer. So, um. And it's Nicky jam, by the way. Uh, yeah, yeah. I keep saying Nikki jams, and it's not Nicky, just Nicky Jams. It's Jimmy Jams. My brother in law, who is much younger than me in Venezuela, who just loves Nicky Jam. I kept calling him Nicky Jams, and he's like, who are you talking about? I was like, Nicky Jams? And he's like, no, it's Nicky jam. And I just naturally want to put an s on the end of jam. I don't know why.

Because he has some jams.

He's got some jams.

Yeah.

Yes, he does.

So now he's down to 80.

Yeah. Now we might be. We're getting there. We're getting close. We're getting close to getting down to that village, villages or whatever it is. So, Katie, I don't even think her album's out yet, but she put out the first song called Woman's World or Woman World or whatever it's called. It is not a good song. It is actually a pretty bad song. And the video to go along with it is equally as bad. It's just dumb. I'm sorry. It's just kind of dumb. And all of the message is supposed to be empowerment.

Women empowerment.

Women empowerment. But the words are kind of like, it'd be as if it was 1952 and someone had just introduced you to the world of women's empowerment. The things you would say. Right. It's not a very refined message. And, okay, then the video is her in a bikini, like, bouncing her boob. Like, specific boob shots of her boobs bouncing everywhere. It's just weird.

Like, it's just kind of contradictory of what. Then again, I guess it could be satire. Well, or the messages. Women empowerment. That means you can do whatever you want to do.

That's right. So then she has. It gets so much blowback that she has to put out a instagram reel that basically shows her with the other women that were in the video. And it shows her. And she's saying something about how satire can be satire. If you satire this and satire, like, when you have to explain the satire, it has probably fallen on deaf ears. If you have to say something is satire, you may not or may or may not be doing it. Right. Let me be clear about this. I'm rooting for Katie. I don't. I don't want to see someone, like, go. Have to go away. But this is probably one of the worst comeback of all time. Come back songs of all time. Oh, Chrissy, it's not. It could it. Could you bibbidi bob to it? Sure. Is it gonna be blasting from every, you know, convertible in Miami on South? No, it's not. It's not one of those songs. And she is just getting destroyed in the press. I mean, destroyed. Poor girl. That's why I never want to be, like, actually famous, like, actually like people, because there is nothing like.

And I know that I'm contributing to this right now, but I'm just making some commentary. I gotta fill time, guys. I gotta say that, like, that kind of fame brings, like, a microscope, like a microscopic laser beam of attention right on you, and anything you do is gonna be panned and praised. It just depends on which stage it is. But there isn't. There is an american sport, really, I think, like a white person sport, which is tear them down and then hope they come back and then root for them again. It's like we all have a comeback story, but we have to manufacture it in order for it to happen. Listen, I get it. It's not a good song. I 100% agree with everybody that say not a good song, not a good look, not a good video. But, I mean, there are, like, some super mean spirited, like, very pointed articles out there. And I think to myself, geez, I hope she's not reading any. Who's she married to? Orlando Bloom.

They're not married. But they're together? Yes. They have the child together.

Oh, they're not married. I thought they were married.

As far as I know, I don't think they got married.

Huh. What's up, Orlando? Why'd you put a ring on it? What's going on there? It's not Orlando. Summer, what's up with that? You know, I would have thought that Orlando probably would have tied that down. What's the last movie? Orlando.

Everybody always, like, gets divorced, so I kind of get it in that way.

Does everybody else get divorced?

You know, I kind of get it in that world.

Everybody gets divorced in that world. In every world, everybody gets divorced.

It's like a 70% higher rate, though, amongst super famous people.

Yeah, well, because I can totally see why that.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah. There is no relation.

There's no human being on beautiful people everywhere. Yes.

You're out making out with some girl on the set, and you're showing your boobs in every video, and you're, you know, doing press tours without me, and.

You'Re at the club time away because you're touring here or making a movie there.

All of it. All of it. I can. I can understand, and I've heard so many famous actors and actresses say, this will not date inside the industry, will not do it. And then imagine that you have to find someone who's got a really special skill set to just be kind of dumb and ignorant. You know who I'm always surprised by? You know, I'm always surprised by that they're still together. Is that Oprah and that steadman?

Yeah. They never got married.

They never got married.

Same Goldie Hahn and Kurt Russell.

Oh, yeah, that's true. But like that steadman, he's married to the most famous human being on earth. Married to the most famous. Oh, not married. He's with the most famous. He's partnered with the most famous human being on earth and has been forever for a long time. You never see him. He's never out. I mean, occasionally you'll see. Could snap a photograph or something like that.

Same with Dolly Parton's husband. Actually, they're married, but, yeah, he never. He never surfaces.

Man, I can't imagine. But, you know, if you're looking. If someone famous out there, like Dua Lipa or somebody is looking for a non industry person to marry, I am with it. I am not chewy anymore. I'm right here. Chrissy's brat. I'm white, boy. Let's go. Let's do it. Let's get it together.

Let's try it out.

Yeah.

Bastards down.

No, Astrid's knocked out. No, no, no. Astrid would be like, the fuck you are going anywhere. I have suffered with you through years of your bullshit, of your yammering, of your craziness. I have suffered with you. You will be seeing this out. You will be seeing this through. And if you don't like that, my dad will come with his large collection of antique guns to show you why you're gonna stay. Hi, Brian. I'm like a gimp in the basement. In Venezuela somewhere.

He would be.

Oh, man. I'll tell you what, it is easy to understand why two industry people, two heavy hitters in the industry, getting together is like a recipe for disaster.

But it's also easy to understand why they would get together, because then the other person understands.

Yeah, that's true. Yeah. It's like. It's like damned if you do, damned if you don't kind of thing. And I'm sure there are lots of exceptions to the rules. I'm not thinking of them right now, but they're like that. Jennifer Aniston, never been married. Tied.

She was married to Brad Bitt.

Oh, yeah. I'm sorry. I apologize. I forgot about that one. But that was a short one, wasn't it?

Short? I wouldn't think that it was maybe for, like, five years or something. And then the whole Angelina thing came.

Along and, well, there you go, another example of why it's really hard.

And now they're in a terrible divorce.

Oh, my God, those two.

What's up with a terrible divorce? I read stuff about that all the time. Or this really lengthy article about. Because they have that winery. And so a lot of this. That's what happens over the, like the winery. That's why they haven't finalized.

You like drinking so much, you had to buy your own winery. You like drinking so much, you had to buy your own winery. I mean, Brad Pitt has admitted I have a problem with alcohol. I. I was. It was terrible. It did have a problem. No, that's what I'm saying. He did have a problem. I had a problem with alcohol. I had to get sober. You know, it was starting to affect my life. And if any of the accounts of some of the stuff that went down are even half true, that's the ugly kind of alcohol. Like, ugly kind of alcoholic where you just turn into a mean fucking bastard. And, like, in some sense, you know, you can understand how the fame, the money, the prestige, the power can exacerbate your ego and then forget about it. If you're an egotistical person in the first place, I guarantee drinking is not going to make you a better human being.

Right.

There are two kinds of drunks in this world. There are the happy drunks who are great, wonderful. They're fine. They just get happy. And that can be obnoxious sometimes, but at least they're not hurting anybody.

And then there are the Karen Lee yesterday.

Oh, my God, Karen Lee Friday. What's going on with Karen Lee?

She was getting.

I can't believe that videos out there. If I were her, that video be off the Internet the day after it came up anyway. And then there's the mean fucking bastard kind of drunk. And we all know those people, but not for long because you never want to be around them. They're like, nope, fuck that. Forget that. I've only met, like, a couple of, like, really mean bastard, bastard drunks. Because I do think they. They probably more quickly realize they have a problem because people are like, no, no, no. Not gonna be around, hopefully. It's almost like a blessing in disguise. As long as you don't hurt, you know, actually hurt anybody. It's the happy drunks out of the ones at the end of the bar at 77 years drinking themselves silly. But as I have said before in the past, drinking and drugs is something you should experiment with when you're young and just go at it when you're old, because who fucking cares at that point. You're on your old.

We're going to run that shit down at the villages.

Run it. I can't wait to be at the villages, actually.

I know.

I'm looking forward to it.

We're going to have pimped out golf carts.

Yeah, I'm going to be the guy with like, you know, everybody like, has their trump flags on there. I'm going to have like, a kill possums. 21 epm flag.

Oh, my God. 21 epm flag. 21 epm flag.

That's right. I'm going to stay non political for the rest of my life. All right, let's take a break and we'll be back.

What's up, haters? Now let's get down to business. If you've got something to say, say it to our faces. And by that I mean text us or call us at 212433 TCB. That's 212-43-3822 you can and should also find us on Instagram, hecommercialbreak and on TikTok TCBpodcast. Unless you want to fight me, in which case don't. And if you're just desperate to see our shining faces in person, keep your ears peeled for ticketing information about TCV live. As always, dont forget that you can find everything you could possibly need to find on our beautiful website, tcbpodcast.com.

Bye. Hey, Im Rhett and Im Link. Maybe you know us from our daily YouTube show Good Mythical Morning, but this is a little trailer for our podcast, Ear Biscuits, where two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time and nothing is off limits. We talk about our sex lives, our mental health journeys. We try to never take ourselves too seriously. So we invite you to not do the same, or to do the same. We invite you to listen, follow, and listen to ear biscuits now for free on the Odyssey app and everywhere you get your podcasts. Right before you came in here, I was. I'm getting really excited about the Olympics, so I think the Olympic opening ceremonies will have been Friday of last week, and we're recording this the week before, but it would have been Friday of this week. So last week, I'm really excited to get the Olympics underway. A little distraction from all the crazy drama that currently fills the news cycle. And also, it's just fun. It's fun when there's, like, good sport on. Good fun just in the background. Sports on 24 hours. It is.

It is good fun. And last night, Jeff and I started watching the Simone Biles documentary documentary on Netflix. It's good. It's really good.

I gotta say, man, she's amazing. She is amazed. Balls. And my daughter, one of my daughters, loves gymnastics, and she's good at it. Now, I'm not one of those fathers who's, like, Olympian, you know, I'm not, because I don't have the money to do that.

Yeah, it's like, all the time.

Yeah. Keep on going to the local community classrooms and we'll be fine. Like, I also understand I heard this one time from somebody and it was the most, like, clear headed thing I'd heard about children's sports. We have seen no evidence that traveling teams, extra money, five, you know, ten hour sessions a day for children under the age of 15, improves their chances of being a professional athlete at all. If they are naturally gifted, if they know how to swing a bat or a golf club or whatever, it will come out regardless. Like, if they get to it, they find it regardless. And it was like this sports, like, expert of some kind. And I thought, wow, that's. That's really good for me because I don't have the money to do any of that shit or the time. You're right about that. But anyway, she's really good at it. And so we were watching the Olympic trials a couple of weeks ago, and Simone just kills it. I mean, you know, she just does what Simone does. She's flying 12ft in the air on some of those floor exercises, like the floor exercise routine.

She's incredible.

Feet in the air.

Just with her legs.

Crazy.

You should watch that documentary because she did. She had, like, a mental kind of. Well, it wasn't necessarily a breakdown, but she was psyching herself out, you know. I mean, she wasn't able to keep at that pace of what she was doing. Since she was, like, 13 or 14 is when she first made her Olympic debut, I think.

Yeah, she's. This is her fourth olympics or fifth.

Olympics, I think she said after 2020, she thought she was done. That's when it happened. I mean, imagine, too, I was like, God, you're like, you know, early twenties. It's Covid. It's the Olympics.

Yeah.

Like, think about all of the mental things that were going on. So she's got. She's. She's better now, and she's, like, worked it out.

Well, she stated that. Yeah. I'm sure that, like, all of us who. Anybody who's experienced a mental break, I mean, a breakdown, whatever you want to call it, a mental break where you're just like, holy shit. I'm not where I was yesterday, and something is off.

Right.

And I'm feeling bad. And if you live long enough, you'll go through it.

Yeah.

It doesn't matter how. What kind of human being you are, you're gonna go through it. And because those things make you have some perspective and self awareness. So, you know, that's just it. But to have it in front of millions and millions and millions of people is a different animal whatsoever. Altogether. She had that break while it, like, in the middle of routines in the Olympics when she was fighting for gold with her teammates. And this is, like, the one thing during the COVID When we were all, like, you know. Okay, I guess we're gonna watch. Let's cheer for Simone and the team. And by all accounts, the best gymnast that's ever lived. And I'm sure after this Olympics, she will be anointed the queen. But just her physical abilities, her prowess, her mental agility, all of it comes together in such a beautiful way. And my daughter and I were watching it, and I always like to point out to my daughter when I see something I think she should pay attention to, to my daughters. You know, this person, this human, is doing things that are borderline superhero. Like physically illegal.

Yes.

And mentally illegal. Superhero level type shit. She's got superpowers. And you can do anything you want. Don't listen to anybody. You can do anything that you want that's within your physical limitate, mental limitation, you know, ability. In my budget and my budget and my time and whether or not I'm gonna let you out of the house wearing that outfit.

Exactly.

Yeah. I'm still a dad. Yeah.

Yes.

I got a dad in me. Right. But I like to point that out. And she was just so fascinated by Simone, flying so high in the air. So, anyway, so I'm watching all of the, you know, pre Olympic trials and all that other stuff, and today they had on USA had it on for whatever reason. What happened to USA? What kind of. What happened to that network? What's going on there? Yeah, it's like a weird sports interesting telegram.

It's funny that you bring that up because we were just talking with Gina Gershon.

Yeah.

Yeah. And that was last week, right?

This week. It got released this week. It was yesterday. We talked to Gina.

By the time we were airing this, it would have been last week. Anyways, she was talking about the pray for rock and roll or pray for rock and roll. Yeah. And I was looking it up and it came out on USA.

Oh, they had it on USA.

No, I mean, it's not still up there.

Okay, but that's one.

What happened to that station? Yeah, whatever one.

I don't know. It's one of the USA. TNt, Tbs, they all kind of like truth or true TV. They kind of like. We got weird. Anyway, watching it on USA. They had rugby on, which is fucking murder ball. That's what they should call. That is murder ball. Half the guys have tissue hanging out of their nose. The other half of the guys have, like, literal broken arms just dangling in weird places. You know, knees all scraped up 1ft missing. You know, one guy's got, like, a brain bleed, like, just, like, pouring out of his head. And they still. They just go and they're just running into each other. Rough hundred. And then the. Then. Now they have this weird thing. I don't understand rugby. To save my life, I actually looked up rugby for dummies. I read it. I still don't understand rugby. Have no clue. I couldn't tell you one thing about rugby. But it's an interesting sport to watch because there seems to be just chaos going on at all times. They're throwing the ball left, they're throwing it right, they throw it back.

A big northeast sport.

It's a big, like, Ireland, Great Britain, I think. Norway, Sweden. I think down in Africa they play it a lot. I don't know, Chrissy. I have no fucking, like, here's what I know about. Here's the limited knowledge. Murder ball. That's what it should be called because it is. This is the weird thing they have in rugby, at least on this particular game, was so the guys are running at each other, hugging each other, you know, making that big pack of animals. And then they all swing back and forth, swing back and forth, you know, kicking each other in the balls and punching each other in the face and taking teeth out. Like, everyone's got fake teeth. They're doing that. And then the ref stops and they're like. The ref is like, talking to the audience, please, you know, please replay the last play or whatever. He's like, talking on the loudspeaker, telling him to put the last play on the jumbo trial so he can watch it, so he can determine if there was an illegal tackle made. And I'm like, an illegal tackle? You can literally guide gouge people's eyes out in that sport.

What are you talking about?

What's off limits?

The announcers are, like, so important to keep the safety of the sport. And I'm like, the safety of the sport? These are guys who don't even wear pads. They're the toughest, roughest motherfuckers I have ever seen. Here's my experience with rugby in life. I used to wait tables when I was really young, like seven. Like, my first waiting tables job in an actual restaurant. I used to wait table.

This was the after McDonald's. After McDonald's, okay. Yeah.

At a place called Bertucci's brick pizzeria. Oven cheese. Yeah. Bershitzis. Brick oven pizzeria. You should have seen the line out the fucking door in this white, middle class suburban neighborhood. I mean, people were like, well, that.

Was back when brick oven was like, wow.

Yeah. It was like it had just been invented by Italians and shipped over, right?

Meanwhile, it's been going on for centuries.

But on the back of the menu, there was, like, this long story about the brick oven. And we used to have to know it by heart. And it was like, what the are you talking about? It's a big deal. This is the same restaurant where the manager took me to a Carlos Santa concert.

I remember you talking, oh, my God.

It was so weird. The managers were, like, mingling with really young kids. And, I mean, nothing on tour had happened to me anyway, but it was just. It was a great experience. But it was a little bit weird looking back on it. Anyway, so I. We waited tables. When the restaurant opened, there was, like, a group of us who opened the restaurant as the first people who worked there. And one of the guys, his name was Ronan. Ronan. Ronan and Ronin was like six foot two, 7000 pounds of brick oven pizzeria. You know what I'm saying? He was the brick oven.

He was huge.

Nicest fucking dude you ever met in your entire life. So sweet and gentle, and we're like, take your age. No, no, no. He was, like, in his mid twenties or something like that. But he would come in and he'd grab you and give you a hug and break one of your ribs and you'd be like, ah, come here. Drank Guinness like a fish. I mean, the guy was just like. He was. He was a typical stout irish boy and he played rugby. And I didn't even know. I mean, I knew rugby was a sport, but I had never, ever anything to do with it. And he invited me one time to come see the guys play rugby. Come see the guys play rugby. We'll buy you a couple beers afterwards. I'm, like, 17 years old, right? And I'm like, oh, my God.

Beer.

Beer.

Yes, I'll be there.

I didn't even really drink at that age, so I think I probably just pretended like I was drinking it, but. So we went to this game, and I could not believe this match. I could not believe my eyes. Like, Chrissy. Legs were dangling in weird ways and arms were getting thrown in the back, and guys were sticking, like, these things up their nose because blood was just gushing out of it. They were. It was bloody, mangled fucking mess. They were dirty and nasty, and they were the many est men I have ever seen in my entire life. And I remember my balls shriveled around those guys because I was like, here I am. I got a chain around my wallet. I'm wearing Doc Martens with big hoop jeans. I am, literally. But they were so fucking cool. A lot of them from. A lot of them. Europe, like, from Europe, european, like, Great Britain, Ireland, whatever. And a few Americans mixed in there. Black, white, all different colors. And we went out afterwards, and these guys, they got drunk. They were singing songs. We went to an irish pub that was like the whole nine yards.

And then they started throwing me around like a little rag doll. They were like, oh, Brian, I love your vape. And he'd be like, grabbed me and, like, toss me to the next guy, and he'd be like, oh, Brian. To the best. Brian. Brian. Brian. I was getting thrown around the bar like a little football. And I was like. I mean, I was tiny. Like, when I was that age, I was like, you know, maybe 120 pounds, sopping wet. And they were just tossing me around like a little ragdoll. And it hurt.

A little play thing.

Yes. But I was. I was their little poodle. They brought a poodle named Brian. Just gonna throw them around. And, yeah, I loved every second of it. But it was painful when those guys got ahold of you. They were so rough. I think that's just a world that they lived in, so they didn't understand. And I remembered not dare say a word, like, not dare say a word about how I might be in pain right now. Yeah.

No, you had to man up.

Oh. And at the end of the night, like, we were all leaving, and I was smoking a cigarette, and this guy came up behind me, gave me a bear hug. I could hear bones cracking. Yeah. Like the wind came out of me, one of my lungs came out of my mouth and then back in like one of those toys you squeeze. It was unbelievable. And so I remember specifically asking one of the guys, what is like, I don't understand the sport. Why are you kicking sometimes, throwing other times? Why do you throw forward and backward and sideways? You know, why are you getting in these big huddles and then, you know, smushing each other around? And he, with his, I think was an irish accent, went on a five minute soliloquy about what a great sport rugby was and how easy it was to understand. I did not pick up a fucking thing. He was saying all of these words, like these terms understand. But I guess it's like if someone came from Russia and had never seen a professional football game, and you have them sit down and watch a professional football game, you'd be like, the fuck.

It's like me trying to explain baseball to my kids, right? They don't understand. They know that people run around the bases, swing the bat, but they have no fucking clue about the infield fly. I don't even know. Yeah, Chrissy, this is murder ball. I can't believe this is still, like, a thing. Like, people are olympic sports. How are parents letting when this is why there are no high school rugby teams? I think is because. Can you imagine the uproar if kids were just running around and smashing each other left and right?

I think there are high school rugby again, I think it's like a northeast thing.

Oh, you think so?

Yeah.

My next door neighbor, his kid plays big kid. Like, he's. When I met him, whenever we moved in here, when I met him, he was like a squeaky.

Oh, right.

Squeaky little kid. Right. I think he was like twelve at the time. Ten, 1112 something.

Now he's 16, now he's 17. Yeah, yeah.

And I'm worried he's gonna sleep with my wife, you know what I'm saying? He's like a handsome mansome kind of dude.

The neighborhood kid.

Yeah. I'm like, I used to invite them over to the pool, but now I'm like, ah, that, that, that. Let's keep our shirts on, boys. None of that over here. Hi, Brian. I think we need the neighbor to come over and babysit the kids while you go out.

Go have a good time. No, no, no. Go, go, go have a good time with your brothers.

I have a coffee. You go. We'll handle it from here. Bye bye. I put some money on your debit card. Go to the strip joint, enjoy yourself. Tasty Tina, or whatever it is you say. See you in a couple days. He's a big kid. Handsome kid. Like, you know, glowing locks of, you know.

I know.

Every time I see him. He plays lacrosse, apparently, like ours did to.

Our daughters played lacrosse.

They did?

In high school.

Okay, so you understand the game?

No.

Okay.

After all those years of going.

Yeah, so he's like, back there. I don't understand that fucking thing.

Go lacrosse ball lacrosse, girls. Good for, like, rolling on your back.

Oh, yeah.

Against a wall if you got, like, a tight spot.

You know how I know this? You know how I know this? Because I have a collection of lacrosse balls. Because the neighbor, even though we live in, like, our yards are really big and we have. We share like, a yard, like a backyard with a fence in the middle, right? And he has one of those spring things where you throw the ball and it bounces back to you. It's got springs on it. It's like a piece of, you know, nylon or whatever. So he takes that lacrosse mallet and he's just tossing it back and forth and back and forth and it rumbles the house. I think I've mentioned this before. You can hear it. Boom, boom, boom.

Oh, wow. That's kind of annoying.

But you know how many of those balls I found in the pool? Like, 80.

Really?

Yeah, because they just go over his head and they go right into our pool. But he's out there sometimes, like, swinging that thing, and I'm like, jesus, I hope I've never had to get, you know, if shit goes down, I hope he's on my team. That's all I gotta say. And away from my wife. See you over there.

That's right. Stay away.

Stay away. All right, let's do this. Let's take a break and we'll be back with more shenanigans and fun here on the commercial break. Hi.

No, you're not dreaming. And yes, this is a new promo. See, I made you wait, and now look how happy you are. I know. I know. You're smiling. Anyway, since we're here, why don't you just hop on over to Instagram and give us a follow he commercial break? Seriously, please. It's getting hard for me to listen to Brian and Chrissy Begg, so just follow us on Instagram again. That's he commercialbreak. You can also follow us on TikTok, ecBpodcast. And of course, you know where to go for all things TCB. That is tcbpodcast.com, baby. And of course, you can always text us or call us and leave us a voicemail at. At 212433 TCV. Yep, that phone number is no longer new, but it is still around, and that's a win. 212433 TCV. Love you, bye.

Do you know who is everywhere trying.

To get it out?

Chrissy's got a cough rag. You know your cough is bad when you have, like, a cough rag with you.

I was laughing about this. It's my cough towel.

Look like Biden.

It made me think of the whacking tree for some reason.

The whacking tree. I'm going over to the wacking tree to whack it. Make sure you go over to the wacking tree to wack it. Down by the creek.

Cough towels sounded kind of like cum towel, which made me think of the whacking.

Oh, yeah. Well, there you go. Oh, my God. The whacking tree was. That was one of the funniest mountain monster episodes ever.

We need to reference that, what episode that is, because it's really funny.

I'll find it. I'll tell you next time. It's. I think it's called the whacking tree. So if you'd like to, you can just go search it yourself. It's probably season three. You know, I've seen a lot like Charlie Xex. Okay. But you know who else I've seen a ton of lately? Like, out there in the pop culture lexicon? Jelly roll. Yeah, jelly roll is every fucking where.

Jobs festival, too.

What do you think of his?

He was amazing.

He's got a great voice. Yeah, he really does. Great fucking talent.

He was a great performer, too.

Well, yeah, he's like, you know, he's singing for his life out there. He knows what it's like. He's been on the other side of it. He knows what it's like.

Yes. Story is amazing. And he's really. He's very talented.

Yeah. He's not one of these pampered rock stars, you know, pop culture type Joe Jonas. Bullshit. I'm getting on Joe because my wife loves Joe. And I just. I'm like, whatever, Joe. But Joe's also out there too. He's got a hit also. I saw him with Hannah Burner the other day. Joe Jonas. Anyway, so jelly roll is out there. And you know who I saw him with just this morning, like, on an instagram post is Brad Williams. Remember Brad Williams came in here?

Yeah.

Remember Brad? Brad is like, every fucking where Brad's everywhere. He's doing everything. He's at concerts, he's at places, he's at festivals. He's like buddying up to everybody. Brad is quite fucking popular.

Yeah.

Yeah. I don't think I realized quite the extent of Brad's fame when we had him on here. Brad Williams is a comic. He's a little person. He's a comic. He is super fucking funny. I mean, when he came on our show, we didn't even take a breath.

No.

And Brad took it away.

Yeah.

For 45 fucking minutes. Brad just did a routine and it was really fucking funny. And, you know, he was with jelly Roll. I mean, the picture is so funny because jelly roll is such a huge guy, and then Brad is not. So it is like the difference in the two of them is unbelievable. And I just think to myself, wow, Brad. It's a Brad Williams summer and then it's a jelly roll summer and it's a Brad Summer and it's all the, you know, whatever it is. And so I was thinking about jelly roll. I see this post with Brad Williams. I scroll up two more times and guess what I see? I see our friend at the local radio station still giving away jelly rolls. Bronco.

I thought about that the other day. I was watching tv and they were. It was jeep. I think it's jeep. Maybe. I don't know. Anyways, they were giving away somebody's jeep. Oh, like.

Yeah.

And I thought that has to be like a thing, I think. I guess they're giving. I guess these. I think this was like a football player.

Yeah, yeah, I've seen that one too.

Yeah. So I think it's there. They're taking these famous people and I guess those people then, like customize.

They customize it.

Or the Bronco, they drive it for.

Half a mile and they call it away. Yeah. This is the thing with radio stations, television stations. It's a giveaway, the car summer, but not give away a car. Give away someone famous as car. At least that's what they make it.

Seem like they've customized.

That they've customized. Yeah. Well, I mean, in this particular instance, it makes it sound like jelly rolls. Actually driving it around, stopping at Dunkin donuts for coffee. I mean, that's. I mean, might have. You're right. I can imagine for legal reasons, maybe they told you, hop in and take a spin around the block and then bring it back and we'll give it away. Right. Can you spray some of your cologne in there?

Jelly rolls.

Yeah. Carved for the jelly donut. In the middle. Jelly was here. Jelly was here. But this is like a thing, and everybody's doing it. And it's so interesting to me to see how. To see how still doing giveaways? No, just like uninspired, but it's an interesting angle, but, like, how uninspired everything is. It's all homogenized now. We're all doing the same thing. And that got me to googling this car giveaway thing. And after a little bit of digging and refining my search and refining my search based on the information that I got, what I figured out is that there is a person out there, a guy, a person that works at a promotions department for one of the radio firms, and they also own television stations. And this person is largely responsible for the trends in radio and television local promotions. And when he does it, they all do it. And he does this for car companies also, like the local car dealerships. They're often saying the same things, doing the same type of commercials, having the same type of giveaways or discounts or whatever, because once he anoints it, it just gets rolled out across the country because they're all part of some big marketing.

Exactly. That's around for a while. Yeah, yeah.

We've known that for a while. Like, you know, it's when you have a local car dealership, like, you know, John Dick Ford. Like, when you have John Dick Ford. John Dick Ford is not alone in his marketing efforts. He's part of a larger group across the country of other dealerships that also, then they, they team up, essentially. They collaborate on promotions and commercials and, and doing these things.

Or they have, like, the one agency, because I know I used to work for a window company briefly where I did marketing, and they had one agency that did all of this stuff and then would just kind of customize it for each market, for each city.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I remember for a while, in the two thousands, I want to say, 20 05, 20 06, 20 07. I think I had just gotten divorced, so I had a lot of free time in the Saturday and Sunday mornings to watch television on the local stations where you can buy television time, you know, like WCCC, Atlanta, Channel 40, you know, channel 13, UHF or whatever it was. You'd see those, like, off market stations, like off brand stations, but they were local to you, on air kind of thing. And they would, it became a thing for a while where they would have hour long television commercials from live, from local car dealerships where people would drive up, like someone would drive the car up and then some guy with a loud mouth would be like, can you believe this? 99, 99. 49.99. Look at these rims. You're not gonna believe this. Has a trunk and an engine. Oh, my God. Leather seats. You want a radio? Fmam. Don't you worry about it. We got it covered. This $149, $0.99. I'm taking it down to $39.99 for today only. Come on down. We're live at John Digg Ford, whatever it was.

Did we ever review that one that I was in? That I did?

No, you didn't have it. You said you were gonna try and find it.

I gotta go back to try and find.

Wait, you were in one of those?

Yes. Like, where people just drove cars up in my. Jeff still laughed about it. My tagline was, we're cutting prices to the bone.

We're cutting prices to the bone. We're gonna break a leg. We're amputating prices here at John Dick four. We're giving this sale of vasectomy. We're cutting it at the nuts. 39.99 today only. Come down to John Dig four. Get yourself some free ice cream. Don't worry, we got porn and pizza for the kids. A free pack of caramelites to any kid under 18 year olds that shows up at John Digg Ford right now.

That's the way it is.

This is our best salesman, Jimmy. He's trying to jump off the roof four times this month. You gotta get here quick.

Yeah, they like feature car. Yeah, different segments.

Get here quick. Only a John Dick, come on down. Oh, yeah, I remember those. And for a while, it was entertaining to watch. Oh, my God. And inevitably have, like, beautiful women driving the cardinal. And then occasionally. And then it got to a point where, like, the girls were in bikini tops, right. Come on, guys, really. I'm sure it worked, though. I'm sure sex does sell in everything. And I can't believe you're in one of these. And we need to find out where is Chrissy's embarrassing moments. We need to find.

Oh, yeah. I'll get it. I'll go looking for it. I'll make a note.

If you find your Ford dealership.

I watch her and I watched it. She was cracking, of course. She was like a cube.

We're good practices.

It was like this really small market, too. Like in between Chattanooga and Atlanta called Ringgold.

Oh, I know. Ringold, Georgia. Not like the carpet capital of the world or something.

Yeah. And I mean, think 20 years ago, too. So, I mean, it was so funny that this, like, I mean, I'm in a golf cart, and it's sputtering.

It's sputtering along, and you show up and go, we're going pricing to the bone. And then just, like, sputter out of the picture.

It's hilarious.

Oh, my God.

The things you do when you're young and work in tv or radio.

I could see why, how I would do that in a heartbeat. The one time I got invited to be on a television show when I was young was that reality show that one of the producers of Real Housewives was putting together for, like, this girl that worked at scam Cole FM with us.

Yeah.

And it was supposed to be all about her life. Looking back on it, I can see how that was never gonna fly. But anyway, I was. I was kind of excited because she invited me to be a part of the shoot. She was like, we're gonna do this scene in a restaurant. I'm sitting here with my friends. I'm celebrating my newfound freedom because I just stopped dating, you know. You know who I'm talking about. You know, I got ain't got no time for that. I got no time for Scruggs. Nuh uh uh uh. And, um. And so she invited me to be a part of the scene in the restaurant, and she's like, she's like. And then you could be. You can be in some other scenes too. I got some ideas, and I was like, okay, all right, great. Fantastic. And then it took so long to set the cameras up that all we did was just sit there and get fucking hammered. So by the time they started rolling the cameras, first of all, it was the middle of the afternoon, and the air conditioning didn't work. Work. Because. Of course it didn't, because Simon owned the place.

The air conditioning didn't work. Second of all, we're on bottle of wine, number, like, seven. By the time they actually started rolling the cameras.

Sounds a little bit like hotel impossible.

Oh, yes, it was hotel impossible. I don't know where that footage is, but it's somewhere. But I think the scene only lasted for about a half a minute because the person who was directing the scene, not directing, but filming the scene, quickly realized that we had passed our expiration date, and this was not the scene that he wanted. I did not get invited back to.

The reshoot just to let you know.

Well, you know, you only live once.

You gotta take life. By the vasectomy.

By the vasectomy. By the disembodied balls. That's what dad always told me. Grab him by the disembaked. Disembodied.

That's what you did for the rugby.

Oh, my God. God bless those rugby guys. If you played rugby, I'd love to hear from you. If you play rugby, if you're. You gotta imagine some of those guys have problems later on in life with their brain, the way that they hit each other. It's so violent and vicious. Anyway, I recorded it. I'll show you. It's so interesting.

How do you see it?

Many of them have tissue up their nose. All right, do us a favor. If you'd like to please get a hold of us. We'd love to hear from you. There you go. There's rugby right there. We'd love to hear from you.

Murder ball.

Murder ball. We're watching murder ball here in the studio. 212-43-3822 that's 4332-121-2433 TCB text us questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas. We're taking them all. Ask Brian's mom. Ask TCB will give you bad advice. It's free. Don't worry about it. Come down quick to John Dick. Get yourself a new whip. All right. At the commercial break on Instagram. We would love it if you would go there and give us a follow. We certainly would appreciate it. You can also communicate with us, dm us through Instagram, and we will respond. Get your free sticker while they last. Slashing prices today. Go to tcvpodcast.com. hit that contact us button. The drop down menu will say, I want my free sticker. And that's how you get your free sticker. Give us your address and we'll send it away to you. Don't worry, we never sell your information unless someone gives us enough money.

No one's phoning up yet. No worries.

And thank you to the guy who left the review the other day. Worst podcast ever. You're welcome. Thank you for listening. I guarantee he's listening. YouTube.com. thecommercial break for full interview episodes and selected clips. Give us a subscribe there, too. We certainly would appreciate it. Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for right now.

I think so.

But I'll tell you that I love you.

And I love you.

Say best to you.

Best to you.

Best you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time. Christy and I always say. We do say, and we must say goodbye.

The baby.

Cow killing bastard.