Shout out to the class of 2024. You guys made it. I'm so proud of y'all. But let me go and let you know baby life is finna grab you by the back of your neck like a dog and Finna walk you down, baby please take your time.

On this episode of the commercial break. I know it's 430 in the afternoon and we're just finishing up nine innings of drinking, but we're gonna go back at cold call. Cold call. Cold call.

We have.

So take a couple more Jaeger shots. It's Chrissy from the radio station. I was wondering if Jaeger face. Let me call you.

Yeah, Jaeger face.

Oh, yeah, that Jaeger face. You can't mistake Jaeger face and a sempic face, or it's very similar. Only one is induced by just not being able to lift your jaw off the ground. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Yeah, boy. Oh, yeah, cats and kittens. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Ryan Green. This is the bluey to my bingo. Kristen joy Hodelay. Best to you, bestie.

Brian.

Bestie, you out there in the podcast universe. I read an article. It's all over the Internet, actually, about this restaurant in Arizona. A hot dog restaurant. Is it in Arizona? Hold on 1 second. Let me. Let me get a fact of this. Right. I'll get one fact. Las Vegas. So it's not in Arizona. It's out there somewhere.

Yeah.

Las Vegas hot dog restaurant apologizes after sorely underestimating the power of Bluey. So here's how it goes, at least in my mind since I read the story three days ago now I'll probably just fuck it all up. Local hot dog restaurant says it's bluey day at the hot dog restaurant. So bring your kids. We're gonna have Bluey. We're gonna give away trinkets and trinkets and all this swag. This bluey swag. We're gonna have a fun time. It's gonna be a. It's gonna be a blast. The owner says in a, like, post event conference, right? Because now he has to go around the entire country apologizing, apparently. He says, listen, I expected like 40 or 50 people, but over 1500 people RSVP'd on the Facebook event page, and they had lines out the wazoo. They ran out of food. They ran out of schwag. The bluey that they had show up was not a bluey at all. It was one of their workers that was in a poncho, a rain poncho. A bluey rain poncho and expected to get away with it. Even the kids weren't buying it. Even the children they interviewed, like the news station was there.

The news station showed up to bust the balls of this hot dog stand. That's unbelievable. And now the owners, Bluey poncho, now, you know, granted, I think we're making a mountain out of a molehill. This one they just did. They were just having some fun and you guys decided to show up and take it seriously. But a bluey rain pond, you could have done a little bit.

Yeah, exactly.

Go to fucking the Halloween. Halloween spirit or whatever. Those things are in empty stores across America. And go buy yourself a bluey costume. At least. At least. The very least. I'm not sure this was at all sanctioned. I'm sure it wasn't sanctioned.

Probably not.

No. They're probably gonna get sued on top of this.

Yes.

All this bad press is gonna bring them a lawsuit from the good old Mick Disney company. But I'm telling you, this show is just taking parents and kids by storm, and it's everywhere. I know, and I've heard this from. From listeners who've been texting back and forth. I know that if you don't have children, you have no fucking clue what I'm talking about. And I wish I also had no fucking clue what I'm talking about. Trust me, I wish that these children shows weren't playing 24 hours a day at my house. But Bluey, which we've talked about, which I did a whole ode to Bluey. You gotta watch it. It's really stoned, drunk fight with your wife, trying to make your relationship better, trying to be a better person. Watch bluey.

It's like the when in doubt, watch Bluey.

It's the entertaining buddha of children's cartoons. You will get it. It will be funny. And you don't have to have kids. You were a kid to understand what he's going through. But don't fuck with the bluey parents. Do not fuck with Disney adults. That's all I gotta say. The Disney adults will come out of force. So this hot dog stand, learning that the hard way.

Yeah. Power of bluey.

Yeah, the power of bluey. It's just. It feels kind of.

And of putting on a shitty event.

Yeah, well, we've all been guilty of that once or twice, right? So. Story time with Brian. Story time with Brian. Here, let me get.

I mean, to me, if they had that many RSVP's, they at least could have had enough food.

I just don't think they took it. I just didn't. I don't think they knew exactly what they were getting themselves into. They must have known something because hence the bluey event at all. One of them was apparent somewhere, said, I've seen Bluey and I know what this is all about. Let's do a bluey day at the hot dog stand. But I just think they underestimated, totally their ability to control a crowd of 1500 to 2000 people showing up to a hot dog fucking stand in Las Vegas trying to buy, get swag, meet Bluey. All this other stuff, it just didn't work. It's just a bad event. You're right about that. It's bad event planning. Did they have extra porta potties? Was there security? Did they get the street roped off? Did they have lines? Did they have extra hot dogs available? Probably none of that. Hence, and this is all spotlighted by the fact that someone actually went into Walmart or wherever they went and decided that for the bluey costume, let's get a bluey poncho and we'll put Sam in it. And Sam can stand out there and disappoint children all across the greater Las Vegas area.

Sam could cause nightmares for kids under ten all across the Las Vegas area. Fucking insane. All right. But bad events, it's not easy to put on an event. It's not storytime with Brian. Yes. When I was working at. I used to put on events in a very disorganized and weird way. But I did do some festivals.

Yeah, right.

A few of them went off unbelievably without anybody getting killed. Few trips to the hospital. But that's to be expected when you put on a three day festival in the mountains without proper electricity, security or anything like that. But I got into the restaurant business, or I was in the restaurant business while I was still doing that. And I was like the general.

It sounds like a good idea.

It's a terrible idea.

It is a lot of work. A lot more work.

I'm singing to the choir right now, and not necessarily Chrissy, but her husband. And since they're married, I've heard that they talk to each other and I'm watching on the cameras. The cameras. It's the hoodmi cam. So Jeff knows all about this because he actually knows how to put on an event and does that pretty well four or five times a year. But I was just a young. I was just a young buck and Brian. And one time I got.

Sounded good.

Yeah. I got invited to help out with some stuff for the music, Midtown and then the Piedmont Dogwood festival. And I thought just because I was running one of those stages, that I, in fact, knew how to put on an event.

The whole thing.

Yeah. Equally as big and as organized, because I had seen. I had a walkie talkie.

You heard what was going on?

I heard what was going on. I was there firsthand, 15 and a half Michelob ultras into it, because that's what the Dogwood festival is sponsored by. Michelob Ultra.

Yes.

I never forget that weekend or a couple of years I did that, actually. Um, so when I was working in the restaurant business, I had become a manager, a general manager at this restaurant like this. I just call it fine dining. But it was a. It was a nice restaurant here in.

Where I live, the Chianti classico.

Not the Chianti classico, okay? This was the sushi slash Mexican slash American, right?

Right.

They served every type of food, and on Thursdays, anyone over 50 within a 30 miles radius showed up to get high on cocaine, drunk and show their fake boobies. I mean, it was just an unbelievable scene on Thursdays. Unbelievable, unbelievable.

Thursday.

It was the place to be. It was a Thursday. A Thursday. None of these people had jobs. They all had too much money. But it was fun. It was fun. I do have to say that we had some fun Thursdays. I bet. So I got this thought in my head, what if? And we had this huge parking lot. It was in this strip mall. It was an independent building, but that strip mall had a huge parking lot. And we had a huge parking lot. And on Saturdays and Sundays, the parking lot was basically empty. There was none of those businesses. Almost none of them were open. And so I got this started, rambling around this idea in my head for, like, a week. What if we put on a festival, right? And the restaurant was called Aqua Blue. And so I thought, what if we put on the Aqua blues fest, right, and we get some musicians, and we put a stage in the corner and we charge some money? There was a girl that I knew at the time, a lady that I knew. Her daughter had cancer, had brain cancer. She was like, ten years old.

And I had been to, like, fun runs and helped raise money for this. And that really had a soft spot for this young lady who was going through a terrible, terrible thing and likely wasn't going to survive. But I thought, what if we do this and then we give some of it to charity? It's like a benefit, right? And so after long, long nights of cocaine and bud light, induced PowerPoint presentationing that my ex wife would write the PowerPoint presentation while I was pacing back and forth in the house, yelling out to her what to write. Porta potties, $10,000. Stage, $5,000. I was just guessing. That's what I was doing. I was guessing. Fencing, $500. $500 for fencing. It was $50,000 for fencing. So I make this whole PowerPoint presentation. I run over it night after night, drunk after drunk, stone after stone. And I am just convinced that this is going to not only make a lot of money for whoever decides they're going to put the money up for this, but it's going to make a lot of money for this young lady who I just. You know, I was really. I was trying to be altruistic, actually.

I didn't care how much. Yeah, it was. It was. That was back when I give a shit. No, no, I don't care anymore.

Yes, you do.

Of course I do. So I go to the owners of this restaurant, and I say, hey, guys, here's my plan of action. I just, like, plopped down this PowerPoint presentation, and I'm like, if you spend 100 grand, you'll get $5 million back. I don't think it was 100 grand. I think. I'm just guessing, but I think it was, like, $25,000. Now, this is almost two decades ago, so $25,000 is not what it is.

It did go further than.

Way further than. So I. $25,000. I could do it for 25,000. I actually made the effort to pick up the phone and call a few of the vendors to ask how much money I would spend, and I'd be like, you know, port of potties. I had budgeted $5,000. The guy was like, $1,500. I was like, see? I'm already saving money. Fencing, $5,000. How much is that? $50,000. I was like, what if we make the area smaller? Or what if we don't have any fencing in this particular area? And the guy was like, well, fine with me. But you do realize that people are just going to walk in, right? And so then I. So then I had to convince the guys with me. Yeah, it's fine with me. I don't know about the guys who are putting up the money, but, yeah, let's just make the circle a little smaller. I got, like, an actual stage. We're talking, like a professional stage, up high in the air, big speakers, lighting the whole nine yards. And so we spent months planning this, and everybody was getting really, really excited, and we had a pr firm and they did prank I expected, I had estimated, and I think the number was 10,000 people were going to show up.

To this tiny fence.

It was a big parking well, actually, we ended up buying more fencing so we can make it bigger because everyone was convinced this was just going to. It was going to be huge. It was going to be the lollapalooza of the parking lot in north Atlanta. Fucking parking lot. It was a parking lot. I mean, which is fine for a day fest, you know, it's not like we had people camping there. I mean, I camp there, but we didn't have anybody else camping there. So I convince these owners and they are gung ho. To their credit, they go right along with it. I go way over the budget. Of course you do. That's just what happens. You know, I'm paying the bands this and the stage guy that, and the lighting crew this, and I got to get security, and I got to have off duty officers, and I got to check ids and have bracelets and the, you know, that we get cups made and shirts and hats and all this.

Oh, yeah.

So we got it all. I mean, I really think I tried my best to have this pretty well thought out. So two nights before we start coning off, like, roping off some of the parking lot, right? Okay. It's. I think we had it on a Saturday night. So, like, late Thursday night, I start roping off parts of the. The areas. Remember me and my brother Danny were out there doing this by ourselves, you know, flashlights in the middle of the night, roping off an empty parking lot. An empty parking lot that no one would park in anyway. Anyway, so the night before the stage comes in, the fencing's coming, the trash cans, all this other stuff. Everyone's kind of arriving between seven and two in the morning. So we are really busy between seven and two in the morning. The one thing that we had forgotten about, the one thing that we didn't take into consideration, the one thing I wish I had thought better of, was rain. What happens if rain comes?

Oh, the weather.

So 24 hours before this goes off, I am smiling and dialing everybody that I can to find event insurance, rain insurance, and I finally get a company that says, okay, we'll do it, but it has to be, you know, the rain has to rain more than a quarter of an inch in an hour, as per the weather station at the local airport. The airport that's closest. And I'm like, okay. And no shit. It is scheduled to rain the entire fucking day. Rain, rain, rain, rain, rain. And I'm like, okay, but at least we have event insurance. They'll pay out in case, right? So now we are all praying for more than a quarter of inch of rain to happen during this festival. Total washout. That's what we want now. Total washout. And we make big bucks. It's going to be fun. We'll have a great time dancing in the rain. Yeah, it never rained more than a quarter of an inch anywhere at that airport. However, it did rain at least five inches. Exactly where we were. That's what that was the problem, Chrissy. This thing failed in so many ways, I can't even tell you.

It wasn't the worst event I've put on, but it was pretty. It was probably the biggest flop that I've had. Because I'll tell you what, we had sold, like, these vendors, these booths around the gate, right? We're talking like, probably like a 45,000 square foot area. I mean, I just had it all fenced off there. I don't think at any given time was there more than 500 people in the restaurant, out of the restaurant, in the parking lot. And that's including the vendors and people that were there working with the band. I'll never forget that. The first band that played played to no one. It was pouring down rain. Somehow. It was still 98 degrees outside, and it was just pouring down rain. So it ended up turning into a shit show where all 500 people crammed into the restaurant. And the bartenders couldn't handle it. We didn't have enough staff. We didn't have enough beer. We didn't have enough wine. So eventually, the bartenders, I think, I'm pretty sure, just started. We had to call in other bartenders from other restaurants. They didn't even know our bar. They were just, like, showing up to help, and they were just pouring drinks.

Of course they were. They weren't charging anybody. Oh, give me a tip. $10, whatever. It turned into absolute debauchery.

Mayhem.

Yeah. Not only that, but someone decided to fight the drug dealer super early in the afternoon. So everyone was twacked out. I mean, twacked, twacked. Gums, grinding. Everyone that worked at that festival, quote, unquote, worked at it, volunteered at it, at least got paid in rails. Because it was just like, you could tell who was with us. Cause they were.

Talking real fast, grinding.

Their teeth to a smorgasbord Morgan. Like, little, tiny little nubs. It was terrible. Terrible. Some how some way, we broke even. Somehow. Some way, we broke even. Wow.

I did not expect you to say that.

I didn't expect that to happen. But. And I wasn't in charge of the money, so I don't. I don't really know. But, you know, when it was all said and done, they were like, well, at least we didn't lose money. We broke even. And I was like, oh, okay. Is there any leftover for me? And I will like production management now. No, no, no. None left for you. Brian, could you get that stage out of our parking lot? Because we have to open on Sundays now, thanks to you, for the next three years. That restaurant, by the way, bulldozed three years ago. Thanks, aqua blues fest. Thanks so much.

The funny thing is, I think I remember going to that place. What you're talking about is before we knew each other. But. But I think I went to that restaurant one time on a Thursday night on a whim, because I was in the area for, like, a networking event.

Oh, really?

Something. And a friend of mine who we both know and I went to there. And it was wild on that Thursday night. Yeah, it would. You were right. It was an older crowd. Everybody was flashing money and veneers and boobs and. Yeah, it was crazy.

Yeah, tits, cash, amex, platinums. Like, I mean, it was just incredibly wild on Thursday night because they had these special.

It was like ladies night or something.

It was free appetizers. We put out free appetizers for the first 2 hours, but the party would last until, like, one in the morning. We literally stayed open. The restaurant closed at 10:00 on every other night except for Fridays and Saturdays. Close at eleven. But we had to stay till one in the morning on Thursdays because it was a money maker. They just put out some free appetizers. And what ended up happening? Anyone, like I said, anyone over 50, 55 years old that was single, not single. Swingers, I don't know.

And here was the place.

I'm under this impression, and I think I understand.

I think I was in my late twenties and I left. I was like, I can't hang.

I can't hang. These people are crazy. These guys are buying infinite Jaeger shots on and on forever. The drug dealers have never been so busy. You could tell who they were because they were the youngest guys in the room, but they were just like, happy as clams. When that third. When that thing got bulldozed, I bet some drug dealers went out of business. I'm being serious, because I think those Thursdays went on till the day it closed, decades after I stopped working there. But I'm telling you right now, it was just like, I'm under the impression that older folks now, older folks, people that were born in the fifties, sixties, maybe even the early seventies, they don't give to fucking shits. They want to get fucking lit up. It's like the villages. They want to get lit up.

So true.

They don't care. They grew up, up with it. They're ready to do it again. They probably put it down for a period of their life and said, you know what? I gotta be on the straight and narrow. Raise these children, have, you know, dad.

The kids are grown. They've been divorced and remarried once or twice.

Yeah.

And they're ready to just party.

Yeah. They're like, the eighties was fantastic. I did so much cocaine, and now I've got the money to do it. I've got the money to do it and a self driving Tesla to get me home. What do I give a shit about? I am gonna go fucking apeshit. Yes. That's what is happening.

They have boats. They're boating.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I got, I got boats. I gotta. I got a boat. Yeah. Yeah. Congratulations. It's a hole where you put money in. You might as well just take a fishing line and throw a bag of cash out there. So fuck it. I got, I got a boat. I got it on Lake Lanier. I got. I got a Tesla. I'm in the best shape of my life. Yeah. I got free appetizers and a gold card. Who's got cocaine? You've seen these dudes? They're out there. You know who they are?

Oh, yeah.

They're in their sixties.

They're Frankie B's with them. Yeah, they're Frankie B. Yeah, they have that. They go boating on the weekends and just get wasted out there, too. And then they're at the Thursday night sushi place.

Yes, they're at the Thursday night sushi place in Italy.

They basically work Monday through Wednesday.

They don't work at work.

Well, they manage their real estate portfolio or something.

They move money from their Smith Barney, a car to their Barclays account. Just move some money around. We've all seen these dudes. It's the dudes who are likely gray. Probably have that, you know, have that hair implant thing that I probably should start thinking about getting. And it doesn't matter what time of year it is. They are red as a fucking tomato. They're just red. And I don't know, because they're angry. Yeah. High on cocaine? Yeah, their skin is, like, crackled and broken and they're like, ah. They're just like, drooling over these. And I actually loved it. I thought it was great. I was like, well, at least I got something forward. Looking forward.

It's entertaining.

Thursday nights in Aqua blue. But no, it won't be because Aqua blue is gone. There's another Thursday night somewhere I gotta find. When I get that age. I'm not there yet.

Okay, we need to start scoping.

I still have another 26 years before I get these kids out of the house. I'm gonna be pretty old. Chrissy.

We'll just go straight to the villages.

Hey, listen, the villages is not a bad option because there is a big. That's a big fucking party down there. This is. This is what's got me convinced because I'm reading all these stories, documentaries, everything about these fucking villages where it is just ape shit. The cops are like, busting people with ten pounds of crystal meth.

Std's are rampant.

Std's are rampant. People like, they just caught a guy, like three weeks ago. He had 450 tablets of pure NDMA flown in from Switzerland. They caught him flying back to the villages on a private jet. He lives in the villages. He was like, personal use, personal use, personal use. Why not do a little hashtag ayahuasca on ayahuasca on Instagram and see how many of those very red human beings have decided they're going to get spiritually aligned with their chakras using ayahuasca and some costa rican jungle where you can also then go to the local brothel and get laid.

That's right.

All right, let's take a break. We'll talk more about the villages when we get back.

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Yeah, I mean, it's. It's wild. I. You know, my dad isn't part of that group, but I kind of wish he was.

Me, too. My dad's in the age group where he could be doing it, and he has a boat.

He's got a boat. Why? What? Dad? Come on. Get right with God.

He's like.

I know.

He's living a simple life.

Wow. My dad was never into that stuff.

No.

Me, I don't think my dad has ever done drugs in his entire life. At least that's the. That's the line that he's been towing for so many years with us, right? I think he didn't want him. If he did, I don't think he wanted to make it a door opener for us, number one. Number two, if he did, I think it was maybe once, maybe one time, some time.

I think my dad smoked pot in college, but that's it.

Yeah.

I mean, he was never a drinker or smoker, nothing growing up, didn't go out boys nights. Yeah, nothing like that.

What a shame, because, you know, I don't need it, but because I already have a lot of drama when it comes to parents. But I would think that it would be fun every once in a while to get a phone call from your drunk father, your high father, and just be like, I need you to pick me up at the strip club.

I had a friend, and her dad was like that, and he was so much fun.

He was. Yeah. Yeah, I had a friend like that. I think I told you I had a friend like that. And her dad was. He had cashed in because he wrote a software program, and that software program he sold for, like, a couple hundred million dollars. And so then he kind of dabbled in work, but he never really went back to work full time. So the house, the very large house and the very nice part of town just became this very dysfunctional family of, like, strippers, high, high price call girls that would, like, literally raise my friend when she was in, like, her teenage years. But she knew better, right? She was like. It was kind of an interesting. It was interesting to get into the house and see it all go down. There'd be, like, these 26 year old girls, beautiful women, a lot of them. Very intelligent and empathetic and, you know, just like lovely human beings. But it'd be funny because my friend would be the one raising them, though. It appeared that they were raising my friend and her dad would just be, like, in the jacuzzi, chewing on Parker set, and, like, he just had too much money and too much time.

Yeah, but I was always like, eh, if my dad would just could be like that for a couple of days. And I don't want. I like my dad just the way he is, but just for a couple of days. Say I got my son pick me up at the purple elephant. I'm fucked up, but I'm taking TikTok home with me. What's TikTok, dad? I don't know. What's her name show up, and my dad's got some skinny stripper with him, just like, hey, Brian, you know, to get any blow. I do, dad, I do. It's been a long time, and I'll make. D, what up, d? I'm sorry, who's this? You know, Dee's had 34 phone numbers.

Oh, you. They changed those things out. They have to.

I'd actually love to hear from people who have fathers that we're talking about. Like, yeah, if you have a father who, in his older age just went the opposite direction. Like, a lot of fathers, they get more weird as time goes on. You know, they start pulling up their socks to their knees, and they wear fanny packs, and they, you know, check out things in the library and bring them back on time. Their whole day revolves around the practicalness, the next tax return. You know what I'm saying?

Yes.

Like, there's a lot of fathers that I know like that because I have one. But what about the fathers that went the opposite direction? I want to hear about those dads. If you've got one of those fathers, text us, because I'd like to hear. Or you can come on the show. I'd love to hear that. I'd love to hear about it directly from your mouth, please and thank you. You know what? I'm completely off topic as often we do. Have you been seeing the ozempic face thing that's going on?

No. I mean, I've read about it. It just a thinner face.

Yeah, but it's like, because. So here's what I read about these weight loss drugs. And tell me if this sounds like it's true. When you lose the weight, you either lose fat mass or muscle fat. Right. It's either like fat fat or muscle fat or something along those lines. And that ozempic is actually eating away at mostly at the healthy fat. The muscle. The muscle fat. It takes. It burns off some of the regular fat, but then it's also making you, like, leaner as far as muscle is concerned. And so some doctors are saying this is not really a healthy way to lose weight, because over time, you know, you can. It can cause a lot of problems to just be losing muscle, to just have it eating away at the.

That's the thing. I think there's a right way to do. To use those and the wrong way. And it's not just. You can't just. Just not eat and not exercise.

Yeah.

Not. And just. And, yeah, you're. You're gonna lose weight because you're not eating, but you're also not, you know, you're not exercising.

Yeah. You're.

And you may not even be in when you do eat. Maybe you're not eating healthy.

Yes.

You know, so I think some people just are doing it the wrong way.

I don't know. Would you take Ozempic?

Yeah.

You would?

I think so.

Interesting. I don't know. I don't know. It's like I'm debating it in my. I don't think I need to take Ozempic, but if I did need to take ozempic, maybe. Maybe I would give it a try.

I think it can be a good tool if you use it the right way.

Yeah. I mean, that's how that's being pitched now. Right. So all the big weight loss companies now have some component of them, whether they bought a company that was, like, online prescribing ozempic or similar drugs like we govee or something like that, or whether or not they have actual adjunct doctors working inside of their companies. Almost every big weight loss company, weight watchers and all these other ones, they are now offering medical intervention in the form of these drugs. And so there's so many people that are taking them, and I think they're still terribly expensive. So I do believe that it's just mostly people who can afford it that are getting them. And, you know, you hear your horror stories. Of course you're going to, no matter what medical technology is out there, you're going to hear a horror story. But ozempic face is the new thing that everyone is talking about because people lose weight. So quickly, and they're losing a little bit of muscle too. They kind of get those indentations in their face, like dash, and it looks a little weird. And there was shit. Like, I was looking through a gallery of celebrities who either have admitted to or suspected to have be using ozempic, where their face just gets so gaunt and thin.

Jessica, who is the girl? The chicken of the sea girl? Jessica Simpson.

Oh, Simpson. Yeah.

Jessica Simpson was one of them. And it was disturbing. I mean, it was, like, disturbing. I was. I thought to myself, I mean, listen, you. Everyone could take a bad picture and be caught in a bad light. Or maybe it was edited, I'm not sure. But if it was, if the picture I looked at was accurate, if it was an actual photograph that was taken, she did not look healthy. It looked really kind of sickening. It reminded me of those old Pink Floyd video. You remember your high on acid, and, like, the pink Floyd, the wall would come on and be like, tear down the wall. Tear down the wall. Those weird people with the long faces. That's what it reminded me of. Reminded me of, like, a real life zombie almost coming to life in between the delta eight that ever. What's that shit that people are taking between delta eight and delta ten? Delta nine or whatever.

Derivatives of cannabis, right?

That's right. Sell them everywhere they sell. I just passed the store this afternoon that look, they're popping up on every corner. We sell THC. No, you don't really sell THC. You sell some manipulated version of THC. I mean, I understand it's technically THC, but it's not like the real good kind, like the dippity dabs, you know, just a Tina. Just need a tasty tina. But between the Ozempic and the delta eight, I think we have, like, real life zombies out there in the world.

There could be.

I feel like it. We're actually turning ourselves into zombies. And that is a little bit strange to me. I. That's the thing that I fear about any of these medical interventions, like, you know, getting a lot of plastic surgery done or taking weight loss drugs or whatever, is that you do something that causes irreparable harm. And at my age, I don't have a lot of time left, kirsty. I'm thinking five, seven years, maybe I got left, and I don't want to ruin it by having ozempic face. I'm not saying that that happens to everybody. It probably doesn't. And I think there are a lot of people who are using ozempic to great benefit but I don't think it's the panacea that everyone thinks that it is or that at least the impression is that, oh, my gosh, I can lose 20% of my body weight just by taking this drug. And, you know, it's a medical problem. Medical intervention, maybe so, but it's brand new, and there isn't a lot of scientific proof about one way or the other. After five years, and now you're walking around looking like the scary stick figure in a bad horror movie.

I don't know what benefit that does anybody. Now you just look scary.

I don't know. I need to take a look at these gallery.

We have friends that have been taking it for a long time. They look fantastic, but. Yeah, but they're young. They can bounce back from stuff like that. They're not like us. They're not like us. Not in their mid seventies, hoping, praying that something comes along, you know, fix all of our woes. Now, if they would start mixing in, like, a little bit of. I say there's a cocktail out there that I would like to try that I think not only will do weight loss, but then we'll also. It's for the older people, the people of the Thursday night Aqua blue people. Thursday night aqua blue people. We need a cocktail of, like, a little bit of jagermeister, a little bit of amphetamines, like maybe some crushed up ritalin, a little bit of methadone, just to chill everybody out a little bit. And then ozempic. And if we put those three together and we could just keep juicing our old people, we could probably get them to live, like, 200 years. Not that we want to, but we could probably get them to live, like, 200 years old. Who doesn't want that?

I know.

I mean, look, you know, that would be a cocktail that I would take daily.

Yeah.

Especially if I didn't actually have to drink the Jagermeister. God, just one of the most fucking disgusting. I mean, I loved Jagermeister when I drank it. It was one of those things that just went down the road.

I never did, but that's just what everybody.

You never did.

I never liked it, but that's just what everybody was drinking and ordering.

I know.

You did Jaeger bombs with me.

I know I did, and I hated it.

Yeah.

But when, you know, your boss comes over with a tray full.

Yeah.

And says, hey, everybody.

Hey, team building.

Yeah. Then you shoot it.

Hey, I know it's. I know it's 430 in the afternoon and we're just finishing up nine innings of drinking, but we're gonna go back and. Cold call. Cold call. Cold call. Yeah. So take a couple more Jaeger shots. It's Chrissy from the radio station. I was wondering if Jaeger face. Let me call you. Oh, yeah, Jaeger face. You can't mistake Jaeger face and a semicazer, very similar. Only one is induced by just not being able to lift your jaw up off the ground. He's like that heavy kind of drunk, too. When you drink a lot of Jagermeister, you were like, you know, just slogging.

Through the ocean of reason for it.

Now, what were we? What were we. What did we drink a lot of when we were up there? What kind of shots was it? Jaeger bombs.

Yeah, the jaeger bombs.

Yeah, the fucking Red Bull and. Yeah. Cough syrup. And cough syrup together.

And licorice.

Yeah, licorice and cough syrup combined in one tasty drink that'll make your heart race and make you puke at the end of the night. All for the little low price of $14.99.

I know.

Cause one of those. One of those fucking Red Bull cans was like $7.

It was. It is.

Yeah. The biggest ripoff in the entire bar is a Jaeger bomb. I'm telling you that right now. And it doesn't work. Think about it. One's taking you up and one's bringing you down. Pick and choose, kids. Pick and choose.

Blackout drunk. That's what would happen.

I know, I remember. I remember.

I kind of remember.

Yeah, I kind of remember. I mean, I remember being up at night. I don't remember what happened before then, but I remember being up at night. I am telling you, there is two of the worst feelings in the world. Number one, you are strung out on some kind of stimulant and you cannot go to sleep no matter how much alcohol you drink. That is the worst feeling. And you have to work in the morning. You know it's coming. There is no.

Time's ticking.

Time's ticking. Wheel is a. Time is a wheel in constant motion. Do you know what I'm talking about? If you got to go to work at 08:00 a.m. and it's 04:30 a.m. and you're out of whatever stimulant you've been sniffing for the last 8 hours, and you've drank all the bud light in the refrigerator and you know you're too drunk to get in the car and get more, and you just have to deal with it. And you cannot go to sleep. It is one of the worst feelings in the world. I literally remember thinking I could jump off my roof right now and land head first on the cement and probably feel better than I do right now. And then number two is a stimulant induced drunk. So when you were drinking red bull or coffee or whatever it was, to try and get rid of the drunk because it was the same thing, only now you're fucking hungover and you can't sleep, that is the worst feeling, in my opinion. That's one of the worst feelings in the world.

Those are bad.

Yeah. That's why I'm glad. I haven't had one of those in a long time. I can't imagine raising children. I've had friends that did that. I had friends that, like, went out party, party, party, party, party, party, and had small kids. They would come home, they would take care of the kids, they'd wake up in the morning and I just. I never under. I can never understand for the life.

Of it that's hard ever how you.

Can function as a grown ass adult raising these little tiny blobs of nothing and be hungover or be high or be drunk, so drunk you're blackout.

That is miserable.

Is it miserable or is it magic? Remember how we were talking about David Blaine and how was it magic? Or was it just a test of endurance and his strength and it's not really magic. He's not doing magic. He's just like putting himself in a block of ice for 8 hours. So I think it's kind of like magic. Those people who can handle it, it's not really magic. It's just you being able to endure the pain after pain after pain. That must come when you have a terrible headache, you're strung out, your heart is racing, and then your kids come in in the morning and say, I want fucking breakfast. I literally would have thrown myself through a plate class window. I would have been like, ah.

I can't do it.

There's no way.

Yeah, no, you got to taper that off.

I remember friends that would take their children to big, long parties in the woods. Four or five days, right? And then I guess just hope everything turned out okay. Maybe worse. I remember being at these festivals and there were kids running around, and then I'd see the parents at night and they'd, you know, be like, howling at the moon with face paint and stealing indian head gear, you know, tits out, dicks flying, you know, in a moon circle or whatever's going on mother moon circle. And I think to myself, well, I guess the kids are asleep. I guess they're fine here in the woods with thousands of other creepy people doing the howl at the moon bullshit. I guess they're perfectly fine.

You know, usually like a dead mother that was maybe kind of watching over them.

I think the older teenage, the teenagers were taking care of the young making, you know, they couldn't quite get in the fructus because they were a little bit too young, you know, 15, 1617 years old. They were a little bit too young, but I think it would. They became like the mama hens for the night and they would take care of it. But still think about the minutiae behind that. There is no good excuse. I'm not excusing any of that behavior because I always thought it was weird. I'll always think during the day, perfectly love. You know, a lot of hippies tripping on acid, staring at a stream. Yeah, okay, whatever. Cool. You know, things can't go too wrong, I suppose. But once it turns nighttime, those kids are in a tent by themselves, sleeping while you're out here at the moon Mother Moon circle. Give me a break. What's going on? My kids will never be asleep in a tent while I'm at a mother moon cycle. Never. I usually never say never, but in this one I can be sure my kids will. I just feel too responsible. I don't think my brain would be able to relax like that.

And I. No, I'm not saying it's wrong for everybody. I'm sure that there's plenty of people right now. I take my kid to bullet blues or, you know, Bonnaroo or whatever. Well, good for you. You're a terrible parent.

The kids are cute when they've got the headphones on.

They are? Yeah.

Around the festivals, I saw a couple.

Of that and I'm sure that there's plenty of parents who go there and they act like responsible parents while they're having fun, right? They have a couple beers and they go to bed with their kids and whatever, but I just can't see. Mainly I think I'd just be annoyed by the whole thing. I'd be like, God, leave me alone. I just want to get drunk.

And, you know, the camping ones for sure.

Yeah, I just want to get it. I just want to wear a kilt and show everybody my penis. Can you go back to bed? Daddy wants to get started at 02:00 p.m. everybody getting their snuggle up in their PJ's. I know it's 106 degrees outside, but get that hot tent shut up. If you want water, there's a stream over there. Stay away from Andy. He's kind of creepy. Okay, love you. I'm five. Yeah, one of it.

It's the real world.

I'm also five. Five hits of ecstasy in, so shut up. I'm trying to relax. Daddy's trying to have a good time in this creepy festival, so leave me alone. All right, we'll be back.

What? Oh, hi, it's Christina again, here to remind you to go to tcbpodcast.com dot for all things audio, video, and tcbeedio. Give us a follow on instagram, hecommercialbreak, and on TikTokcbpodcast. And guess what? We have a new phone number. I know what you're thinking, but I promise this is the last TCB phone number you will ever have to remember. So call us and leave us a voicemail or text us at 212433 TCB. Once more for the people in the back. Oh, and check out our YouTube channel@YouTube.com, thecommercialbreak. That's all for now. Let's listen to our sponsors and get back to the show.

When you walk into a store, and it doesn't matter which store, maybe you can tell me which store. When you walk into a store, do you ever feel the sudden urge to poop?

I did not know where that was going.

Well, I thought I'd just surprise you there. No, I thought I surprised you with my shit.

No. Unless it's like I've just eaten something that's upsetting my stomach. Yeah, but no, not on like a normal.

I usually stay away from stores for.

The first hour and a half of.

The day, let my coffee get in there and do its work, have my morning press conference, and then I'm good. I'm good. Nine times out of ten, I'm not ever feeling the urge to poop anywhere except my own bathroom. And that includes vacation. Sometimes I'll just go days without moving, waiting for my throne.

That's not healthy.

There's a lot of things that aren't healthy that I do think that cream and cereal I'm eating at night is doing me any good. No. There is a phenomenon here. I'm going to let this doctor talk about it. Let's listen to this Instagram reel. You all get the sudden urge to poop when you enter bookstores. Yo. This is a true medical phenomenon called aoki mariko. What's happening is a monotonous, predictable environment like a bookstore causes decreased vagus nerve activity. This dampens the brakes on your gastrocolic reflex, which is the physiological need to defecate after eating. So when the reflex kicks in strongly, this induces a sudden need to poop. Oh, yeah. My vagus nerve is all loosey goosey in the bookstore.

I caught something on the interwebs about that, the bookstore thing. There's this. There's a seinfeld episode, too, that involves pooping with the book at the bookstore.

Oh, really?

And he tries to return it. They're like, it's been wonder.

I wonder if that's why we feel the urge. Some people feel the urge to go poop in a bookstore is because for years, and I mean many more years than we've had phones, we didn't have phones. You had to have a book or a magazine if you wanted to enjoy some shit time reading. You know what I'm saying? It's a poopy time reading. And so maybe our brains, generation after generation after generation, our brains and our bodies have been trained that when there's a book in front of us, we just have to go poo poo number two.

Maybe.

What are we talking about for a living?

I don't know.

What do we do for a living?

Beep, beep, boop, boop.

Oh, what's that? Hey.

Oh, that was the megaphone.

I wonder if I'm making an actual connection there. That makes sense.

It makes sense to me.

I don't get the urge to poop when I go into stores. But this doctor goes on to explain that it's not just bookstores, it's all kind of stores that some people, when they get into a store, feel the need to go number two. I have an immediate family member. I'm not going to share the name because I don't want to embarrass, but every time that we went to a restaurant, every time he had to go to the bathroom, every single time, without fail, didn't matter where we were, what state we were in, what country we were in, what restaurant it was, could be chucky fucking cheese. And we were all excited to get on the slide and play with the balls and watch the creepy animatronics. And this guy would need to immediately visit the bathroom. He'd be gone for five to ten to 15 to 20 minutes, and then he'd come back. Yes, I always assumed, and, you know, it started becoming a running joke. And I always assumed, well, he's just likes to check out the bathrooms. He's like the bathroom inspector, right? Go inspect the bathroom, make sure everything's okay. And he swears he was just smoking cigarettes.

But he was like, nine or ten when this started. And I don't think he was smoking cigarettes. I just don't think he was getting away with that. I believe maybe when he got older, that's what's was going on. But this was going on for years and years and years. And so maybe he had that problem with restaurants. Sounds like maybe the second he walked in, it was just like his. What is that? That vagus nerve and the coral floral reflexes and the akioki mokioki, it just all came together. The akioki mokioki hit your vagus nerve into your coral floral reflexes, and then all of a sudden, you.

Science.

Yeah, you got brown down there. I mean, it's just one of those things. It's science, science.

Science. When you mix a little paper with the good smell of a hardback, all of a sudden your vagy nerve goes, ooky pookie and wa bam, you shit yourself.

Science, science.

Sometimes when you get into the red lobster, you smell the dying fish and you go, wha bam. I just sat myself. Science.

Did you see the red lobsters and the chilies, your beloved old workspace.

That's a shame, because both of them are also wizardry. It's hard to believe we kept going to those for years. No more chicken bun biscuits or whatever they call them, baked in cheese.

Oh, the cheddar biscuits.

Oh, cheddar. When it's cheddar, it's better. Is that getting to your Vegas nerve? You know what else hits your Vegas nerve? Cheddar. Better biscuits. And it's your coral floral wabam poopy down there. A diaper.

Yes, I did hear about the unfortunate. I never liked to see when people lose their jobs. That's the thing that I did. Kind of sucks. And actually, there actually is one last surviving red lobster in the Atlanta area is not too far away from where I live. And so I guess it's going to close down. And the chili's has dispelled the rumor. Brinker International owns Chili's has dispelled the rumor that all chili's are closing. That's not true. They have been closing some of the stores, but I just really can't believe that some of them are still open. I mean, I haven't been to a chili's in years.

No, it's been a long time.

I also did work there for a long time, so maybe I'm just. My bias can't handle any more bloomin onion sauce. Speak about Vegas. Nerf. Have an awesome blossom and see what happens to you. Blooming onion, whatever they call it.

It was the place to go for a while there.

That bar would be packed on Friday and Saturday nights. Packed. It really would be packed. And people were having a good time. And I guess it was something different. It was, you know, fun western style theme. Lots of stuff to look at the wall. Many tvs, you know, fun young bartenders and waiters and waitresses. I guess it had some allure to like. The familial Society of America was like, oh, it's. It's cheap. I could bring the whole family there. The food is, you know, it's there. There's food. It's there, and it's light and bright, and we get to go and have a good time when we get free chips and salsa, which is what I really found out a lot of people did, is they came for the free chips and sal. You had to buy at least one thing, like a coke or something, you know, but then you get free chips and salsa. And we weren't allowed to say no. People would sit there literally for 2 hours and eat free chips and salsa and have one Coca Cola. Yes. Yes. Because, of course, it's a meal for a dollar. Right. But I.

But Chili's has, I think, long since. We've long since let go of our longing for those baby back, baby back ribs. And I saw a commercial where, and I don't know if this is a good strategy on behalf of brinker. I'm not sure where they compared their brand new burger deal, which is like, you know, big, big chili's burger or whatever. The big outlaw burger and endless fries, or who knows what they're selling over there. And they were comparing it to a Big Mac. They said, if you're going to pay $10.99 for a Big Mac, come to Chili's where the meat is better. Flame broiled, you know, extra shitty cheese with guacamole and bacon and hot sauce and blooming onion sauce and endless fries for all for $10.99. So they comparing their burger to a McDonald's a burger.

Okay, so they're trying to go into that category.

Yeah. They're literally sending themselves even lower. Yeah. A fast casual just isn't what it used to be. And I think the pandemic probably did a lot of those places in. But, yeah, you know, if you're going to compare yourself to McDonald's, well, then I expect that I can drive through chili's and get myself a double bubble burger. You know what I'm saying? Like that. That's what I'd like. But the truth is, is that's never going to happen. It's never going to be a McDonald's. Like, you got to go in there and sit down and take the food and take the order. Last time I was at a chili's, they literally had like, a. A small iPad on the table.

Oh, they do.

And it was like, order your food here. Order my food here. What? Where are we? Where is this? A sonic drive through? What am I doing? Why am I ordering myself? And then I got a tip. The waiter or waitress. Now, listen, I'll tip waiters and waitresses 40% all day long because I know how difficult it is. But when you. There's no one there to do anything except just put my drinks on the table. I don't know, it seemed a little. It seemed a little weird to me that all of a sudden now we're ordering. I know technology is going to change our lives. I know it's already changed our lives in many technology. What's that? The chili's. Chili's was around when I was a kid. We used to take our square wheeled mule wagon down to the chili's, get ourselves a double bubble fat burger. You know, I realize that technology has changed our ways in so many ways. It changed our lives in so many ways. And I don't push against it because that's a dumb thing to do. Life is going to continue to evolve, but ordering of a small electronic box that looks a lot like this gear that I have right here on the.

On the table, ordering my food and then having to tip someone to do that seems a little strange to me. I'm just sharing that, and I think the chili's just doing. They're doing the best they can just to survive.

They're doing the best they can. And I think, you know, I think there is going to be a. The way that places are going to make themselves different is going to be because they've got personal human service.

Yeah. Like us. You know, we've said we're not going to ever be an AI show, mainly because no one's going to spend the computing power to ever put us into a. But we're never going to be an AI show. You're always going to have that human touch right here at the commercial break. Science, humans.

Ookley Boogly.

I do love that quantum wit.

That's right. You put a little, you put a little Frankie B. With some mountain monsters, and then Brian's ridiculous stories, and Chrissy can't stop laughing. And what do you have?

Wha bam.

The mediocre podcast in the entire universe. It's wizardry. It's hard to be this mediocre.

That's good.

It takes true professionalism to be this bad. We are literally the worst of the worst on purpose. We've made a deal with the devil.

Oh, yes, we did.

Yeah, listen. Only 655,000 more episodes to contractually go. And we'll be here with you every step of the way. No computers here, kids. No computers here. Don't worry.

Never.

We literally don't know how to use them. So. Yeah, no computers.

There's that part.

Chrissy hasn't been on Instagram since 1997.

It was called Insta Bam. It was a dating app where you just got laid. Insta bam. You put your address in and someone showed up to fuck you. It was Tinder. Long before Tinder.

Oh, man. We didn't even get into the subject today, which is, let's talk about love is blind and the big expose on the New Yorker. So maybe we'll have to get that done. Tomorrow's episode, we will address the love is blind expose on the New Yorker. Prerequisite homework is for you to go read that article. I never thought about. Yeah, I never thought penicillin was going to make me happy. Feel this way. But the reason why I'm a little dopey today is because I took penicillin and it made me really sick really quick. So strange. So I'm just trying to keep my head from spinning in circles, and that's strange.

Have you been to the bathroom?

No, my Vegas nerve has not released yet. But there's nothing in there to release because I already did my morning press conference.

That's good.

All right, 212433 TCB. That's 121-2433 TCB. Questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas. You want to be on the show as a special guest, we'd love to have you, or at least like to talk to you about it. Send us a text message or leave us a voicemail. You can always dial up 212433 TCB. Also, we'd like to know if you'd like to go to shows. Live shows, live TCB shows in Florida, Georgia, South Carolina, Tennessee, Chicago, New York. I'm just. Anything east of the Mississippi, let us know. Anything east of the Mississippi, let us know. The west is too far. We're not going to go. We'd also like you to go to the website tcbpodcast.com. that's where you go. You can find more information about Chrissy and I, all the show notes, links to our guests, all of it right there. One location. You can also get your free TCB sticker. Go to the contact us button drop down menu. I want my sticker. Give us your address. We will go at the commercial break on Instagram. We sure would appreciate it if you would follow us and YouTube.com thecommercialbreak. Go watch rachel feinstein's brand new special out on Netflix.

Thank you for being a guest this week, Rachel. Okay, I guess that's all I can do for today.

I think so.

But I'll tell you that I love you.

I love you.

Best to you.

Best to you.

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Take your penicillin with food. Until next time. We always say we do so and we must say goodbye.

Close.