Happy pride month from Chipotle. Happy pride month from Lgbtqdoba. Happy pride month from the Homo Depot. Happy pride month from burger queen. No matter which way you swing. Happy pride month from top and bottom golf. Happy pride month from five gays. Happy pride month from Dairy Queer. Happy pride month from in n Out. Celebrate summer with Chick fil A on this episode of the commercial Break. Listen, I know I talk about this band a lot. I really like them. Pearl Jam. I've seen Pearl Jam a lot. Eddie Vedder is not the same person he was 20 years ago. He's not the same singer he was. Everybody was good. What is that, kung fu fighting? I don't think that was my pearls here.

I was saying no.

The next episode of the commercial Break starts now. Guys and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Kristen Joy Hoadly. Best to you, Chrissy.

Best to Brian and best to you.

Out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us. Chrissy and I here in the studio getting prepared for the Summer Olympics by watching a little US women's water polo.

That's right.

I get so excited about those Olympics, man. Summer. I know.

It's exciting.

Winter Olympics, eh?

Okay, I like the Winter Olympics too.

I do. But I don't think they come with as much, like Summer Olympics. 24 hours a day, all Olympics, all the time. All the sports that you like. I guess maybe Winter Olympics. Cause I'm not into winter sports. Like, I never played them as a child. I never played any sports as a child.

Me either, because I'm really bad at it.

I played soccer.

I tried to run track.

Yeah, I'd like to think I could have run track because I like to think that I was fast. But that's just my little 13 year old. That's me stuck in my 13 year old body thinking that I'm really fast. But that is all the testosterone that comes with being a 13 year old boy thinking you can do anything and everything right. So I only played soccer, a little bit of basketball, baseball when I was younger. But I think, I think the coaches just took pity on me. I was one of those kids where I got like a, you know, a show up award. Oh, you showed up. I'll never forget. One time, one time I won the soccer team MVP. Wow. And I. Fantastic. We won the game like twelve to nothing. Half the team didn't, half the other team didn't show up. And so we were just like running around, scoring goals, scoring goals. Scoring goals. I didn't score any goals, but I got the MVP. And I was like, oh, that's amazing. Why did I get the MVP? And the coach was like, you did a really good job trying. I did a really good job trying.

Well, that's all you can do if.

You get the MVP in, like, a hard fought battle, you know, like a three to four or two to three, and you won the goal.

The coach recognized this was the. If it was ever going to be.

If there was ever going to be a moment for Brian, this was it. Yeah. You ran really hard back and forth, back and not doing anything particular, just running back and forth. But I do get excited about those Summer Olympics.

They're fun.

What are you most excited to see? What is your. What is your favorite Olympic sport? Summer Olympic sport?

Oh, God, I don't know. Speaking of track, I do like to watch the track. I like to watch volleyball.

Love volleyball.

Gymnastics.

Yeah, gymnastics, of course. You gotta win the gymnastics course. Gotta watch the gymnastics. You know, I like the water polo. Actually, I'm kind of into the water polo. You know, I mean, it's.

It's. I mean, as we're sitting here watching it right now, it's. It's such an athletic sport, Chrissy, you have to be. Not only are you just treading water and swimming and doing all of that, but then you're actually playing with a ball.

Yeah. You know, I was firmly convinced when I had these children that I'd throw them in the water and they'd be, you know, they start doggy paddling because they make it seem like that on tv. You know, they put, what? They put six month olds in the. In the water, and all of a sudden they're floating. That's not exactly how it works. It takes the kids a really long time to learn how to swim, and it takes a lot of muscle coordination to do so. And you got to teach them. So we have the pool in the backyard. So I'm trying to teach some of my kids how to swim, and it's like, okay, kick your legs and move your arms real fast, and then you. They just sink to the bottom. That's all they do. They just sink, sink, sink. You know, it's hard to teach them how to swim.

And then they have the little floaties.

One of my kids doesn't. He doesn't want to wear the life jacket. But you got to understand about my pools. It goes from three and a half feet to ten and a half feet deep. I know, like a four foot. It. It just goes straight off. It's an old pool. It was built back in the sixties, I guess, when deep, deep pools were a thing. I'm not sure. I don't know. But it's horribly dangerous. And so there's only, like, 1 my pool where this child can actually stand and have his chin above water. So he never wants to wear the life jacket. He always wants to go in. He wants to raw dog it every time, you know. Okay, let me take the life jacket off. But he, his, he tries to, like, float on top of the water and swim, but then his bottom half just kind of eventually just sinks down and just. I said, kick your legs. Kick your legs. Kick your legs. He doesn't really do that. And so he just kind of falls down. So I'm always jumping in the pool to grab his arm and push him back up.

It's a whole exhausting thing. So we go to my dad's lake house this weekend, and I'm like, okay, you know, you're definitely not taking that life jacket off for any reason, right? You're within 50 yards of that lake. And I want that life jacket on for all my children, quite frankly. I think everybody, I think, you know, anyone who goes to the lake, because.

That is why it's a rule.

Yeah, it's a, it's a. Lakes are murky. Most of them are. And even if you can see a little bit, it's like kind of clearish water you can't see.

You hear about deaths all the time, too.

All the time at that lake Lanier.

Lake Lanier. I got Alatuna earlier, but I don't know. Lake Lanier does get a bad rap with that.

Well, it does. And I'll tell you why. I think it might be. This is my. When there is no such thing as a natural lake in Georgia, they are all man made, and that's a fact. And two of the biggest lakes, Allatoona and Lanier. Lanier is probably the one you've heard of. You know anything about Georgia? Lanier is huge.

It's where they filmed what was the show, Ozarks, the Atlanta shore, or whatever it was they were trying to do on MTV.

The Georgia shore. The Atlanta shore. That's right. The Atlanta shore. Give me a break. Yeah, I didn't see a season two of that one.

No, I remember you. You were like, chrissy, watch it. We're gonna talk about it on the show. And I couldn't. Yeah, I just, I didn't get through half an episode of it. And I was like, I can't.

Yeah, I just think it was a terrible, terrible. Yeah. There nothing like Lake Lanier to Lake Lanier's shitty, trash filled garbage rot. What a beautiful lake. No, it's not. It really is.

It's half filled with Budweiser.

Yeah. Oh, the people who are swimming in it are definitely half filled with Budweiser.

There's that.

Yeah. I mean, they've had so many incidents and accidents. Just a little side note. We used to go to Lake Lanier. I hung around this group of people. I think you went up there one time with me, maybe we hung around this group of people. Lovely people. But they were the epitome of Lake life. Lake Lanier. Life people. What do I mean by that? I mean there's a Jimmy Buffett's, you know, whatever, pirate cove up there. It's been there for years. And it's just a complex of bars, restaurants. They are so rednecky up there that they take the band, the COVID band that's gonna play at the Jimmy Buffett bar, and they float him out on a dock in the middle of the. With all their amplifiers and electric music. Literally, you are in the middle of the lake with some hot wires going to the dock. These guys play all your favorite cover songs, from Leonard Skinner to Leonard Skinner.

Yes.

It's all there. It's all for the taking. Now, I'm not knocking the culture. It was a lot of fun when I went. Trust me, I had a lot of fun. But I was also way deep into the bud lights. I guess I could have been fun. People park their boat, boat to boat to boat to boat, tie up together, party barge, like the whole thing. And I. During the morning, you could probably get away with maybe having your kids there by 03:00 you had better. You better be sheltered in place because this place is going to turn fucking nuts. And it did because once everyone got boozed up, it's 107 degrees, 98% humidity.

No food.

Yeah, no food. The water is literally urine. That's what it is. It's warm because everyone's peeing in it at the same time. It's disgusting.

Oh, yeah.

Smells like sewage.

Water blasting. Bikini tops are coming off.

Oh, the whole things.

You know, if they were ever on.

Every guy in their sixties is all beefed up on steroids and just red as they can be. Like a tomato while I'm looking like a tomato right now because I was just at my own lake, but. And they all have those huge yachts. It's a fucking lake. You don't need a 78 foot and Stanley cruiser. You just don't. But they have them. They have houseboats.

Oh, yeah.

They tie them up and then what you do is just go from boat to boat. You just. You can sometimes literally walk from boat to boat till you get yourself in trouble.

Swinging to swinging.

Swinging to swinging. Yes. There are a lot of. There's a lot of plastic in the crowd. Swapping, switching, a lot of gummy bear boob jobs. It's the newest and lightest and greatest. Yes, but you are not the newest, latest and greatest. You are 67 years old. The skin looks like leather. It's a whole scene. And I loved it, by the way. I loved it. I'm not making fun of it.

No, no, no. You have to every once in a while. It's fun.

Yes. By the way, those water polo suits are very cheeky. They're very cheeky.

They are. That's the style.

Yeah, I guess so. So get ready. Oh, no. I don't even want to think about it. So we would go up there all the time and it was a ton of fun. But those lakes. The reason why Lake Lanier, I think a lot of people drown in Lake Lanier is the Army Corps of Engineers put a dam up there. They dammed it for hydroelectric power. And they took, I don't know what it is, 100 sq mi, or however big that lake is, and they just emptied it out. They took everybody and they moved them somewhere else. They, you know, commandeered the land. They do what the government does.

It's so kind of creepy, too.

It is weird. There are towns, there are entire towns. Power poles, stop signs, houses that are just sitting at the bottom of the lake. They were never demolished. They were never taken away. Yeah, they just filled it up with water. So I think what happens is, first of all, I think people don't understand that when you're in a lake, you cannot see past 3ft, and in Lake Lanier's case, maybe past three inches because it's so fucking murky. That red clay, that mud, it just gets turned up. So once someone gets in trouble and goes down, good luck finding them.

Yeah.

So this is why I tell my kids, you cannot, not ever, for no reason, can you take off that life jacket. There's one thing that I'm not going to have happen to my kids is that they get lost in some body of water. So. So anyway, so I'm telling these kids, I'm like, hey, kids, keep those life jackets on. Meanwhile, dad is running off the dock, jumping, splashing diving backwards dives. I'm doing the whole nine yards. I think I'm 14 again, right? I'm doing the whole nine yards. But what I don't realize is that I should probably have a life jacket on too. Because the second that I dive in the water, my kids come herd up next to me with their life jackets on and they're hanging on me and I'm in like 30ft of water. So I'm kicking, I'm swimming, I'm kicking, I'm swimming. Chrissy, I'm tiring out. After like five minutes, I'm like, okay, daddy's gotta get back to the dock. Here, let me hang on to you now. I'm hanging on to my kids now. We're all pulling each other down under the lake. Kids, bring me over there. Daddy's old.

My back don't feel so good. Turn me over. Float position, float position. One of my kids is yelling, float position, float position. Which is what their swimming teacher tells them when they get tired to turn over and play dead.

That's amazing.

Yeah. So when my kids are yelling float position, I guess I'm not as strong as I used to. When I was a teenager, I took one of those lifeguard tests where I tread water for whatever it was, 1520 minutes, however long they make you tread water for. I'm telling you what, I am not that same Brian green right now because I do a couple dives and a couple of flips and I tread water for three or four minutes and I'm like, well, that was good. That was fun. I'm coming back up to the house. So I have a lot of appreciation for this water polo where they do that for whatever it is. Ten minutes straight, 15 minutes straight.

Wait, I mean, how long is this now? It's longer than that.

Well, I mean, they do it by quarter, right? So I think they get a break every quarter. But I'm telling you what, those, those swimsuits are barely there. And in the Olympics, in the actual Summer Olympics, they have underwater cameras. I don't see them. They have them on this particular channel. But underwater cameras, I don't know. I guess that's what you sign up for when you do. When you do water. Oh, you know what? I love diving. Diving is one of my favorites too. Oh, the diving.

The swimming and the diving.

The swimming and the diving. Let the swimming in the diving.

There's really nothing that I don't like.

Yeah. Watch whatever's on you. I don't like that. Like cross country ski, shooting foot whatever. You run ski. I know.

I guess that's when you have skateboarding too, right?

Oh, they have skateboarding. They have. They have lots of stuff. Yeah. Everything's on Olympic sport, boxing. They have the whole nine yards. And so as we turn the corner and get ready for this year's 2024 summer Olympics, I find myself really excited. Plus, I think it's the first Olympics where some of my kids might understand what's going on. And so I'm really excited to miss all of that coverage because I'll be watching Disney junior here at the house. Disney fucking junior. I told my kids already, I said, hey, listen, the Olympics, we're going to watch it. It's going to be on a lot in this house. We're going to watch it and watch it and watch it. So they're excited, but they're excited because they have no idea what the Summer Olympics coverage is all about. Once they start watching, I'm sure I'm not going to get to watch any of it. But hey, at least Father's Day is coming.

A couple of tvs in this house so you can keep one on.

Oh, if you don't think for a second when you're not here, that tv gets commandeered by Disney Junior, you're wrong. My kids come in here. They come in here, they come in here, they ruin the rodecaster. They play with the microphones. They turn on Disney Junior. Sometimes I come in here, I'll. Yeah, Astro takes the early shift and I take the late shift with the kids. What that means is that Astro gets up with them when they get up at the ungodly hour of like 545. Six in the morning. I usually sleep for another hour or two. Then I get up, and then after 05:00 it's my turn. Now I gotta. I'll usually do the bathing. And then I help to put them to bed in the whole nine yards. So it's a good system. Yeah. So there's a whole world of my family. There's a whole universe that I don't know or understand. It's before 745 in the morning. I have no idea what's going on. I'm blissfully unaware, but how do I know things are happening? Because I come in here and the door is open, the lights are on, the computer screen is not on.

What? I left it on last night. The Disney juniors on the channel. My microphones are at different levels. Apparently, Astrid just hates, hates me so much that she just says, go in the studio and play with daddy.

That's right. Well, because if you try and keep him away from it, then it just becomes a whole bigger thing.

Well, that's true.

I still say you need the box that goes over the rodecaster.

Yeah. There was some guy was making them. He was, like, making custom boxes that went over it, the very least. But I need a custom box with a lock and an alarm. Like, if you don't think those kids are going to learn how to take off a box in 2 seconds. Kids are going to take. Kids are smart. There's much smarter than I am. You know what I'm saying?

True.

I wish. I wish I had the intelligence of some of my children.

I do know. Right.

We go to the grocery store real quick. We go to the grocery store the other day, it's like 07:00 at night. Beds kids, some kids. Bedtimes at seven. Some kids are at eight. One of the older kids, sometimes I let him stay up till night. But one of the things you learn, dogs and children, they absolutely need routine. You cannot break that routine for almost any reason. Maybe the exception of vacation, birthdays, special, you know, events or whatever. But you better.

Which are all about to come up.

Yes. Which are all. Yeah. The entire summer is one big special.

Yeah.

But I'm trying to. I'm trying to hang on to normalcy as long as I can. I'm just hanging on to it. 07:00 at night. We realize we need something at the grocery store, actually, at the pharmacy. So I say, let me go to the grocery store, get some milk for the younger kids. Right? I'll get some milk because I know we need some. Well, all the kids. I wanna go. I wanna go. I wanna go with daddy. Daddy. I go with you. Daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy. And for 1 second in my miserable fucking life, I decide, okay, fine. But we're only buying one thing, and that's milk and whatever else, you know, baby Advil or whatever we need. That's it. We're buying these two things, and that's it. And so I say to Asher on the way out there, I'm taking the kids. You know these kids. Taking these kids. Okay, thanks. All right, well, you need anything from the grocery store, just text me. Well, Astro, text me the list. Oh, yeah, right. Oh, it wasn't milk that we went for, it was pasta. Because we're gonna have pasta for dinner, and we don't have any pasta.

We're already running late on this whole routine, and I'm really upset, and I'm really worried that I'm gonna be bothered by my kids going to bed later, and I don't want to be bothered. So we go to the grocery store. I get them out of the car, which is a whole fucking production.

Oh, yeah.

Get them out of the car. Put them in the basket. Drive them around. I want this, I want that. Gatorade, cereal, cheerios. You know, they want everything on every aisle. But I keep on. I stay focused. Nope, we're getting this thing. We're getting this. And relatively, they're pretty good for most of the grocery store. So good, in fact, that I say, okay, you guys can go pick a box of band aids. Box of three dollar band aids that have some character on it. They always have boo boos. And I just got a secret for defects or whoever's looking into my children. They don't really have boo boos. They just say they have boo boos so they can get the characters. One of my kids has twelve band aids on right now. No blood has been shown.

I noticed that one time.

Well, by the way, we went into Publix and two of the kids had band aids on their foreheads.

I was like, what happened? Yeah, you're like, nothing.

Nothing. So we get in, we go, I get them out, get the groceries in the car, put them back in the thing, buckle them up, do the whole.

Thing on their forehead.

Hold on. I know. On their forehead. On their forehead. She's got two on her forehead. People at the grocery store looking at me like, meanwhile, I'm like, no, we came here for one thing. And they're like, oh, jeez.

Now go pick out some more bandaids.

Brian Green. Yeah. Now go pick out some more band aids. They better be good. Cause you're gonna need them, you rotten little shits. You're gonna need them. Cause daddy's giving you boo boos all over. You're gonna be covered head and toe in boo boos. I'm gonna wrap you like a mummy in Mickey bandaids.

Oh, God.

So get him out of the store. Get him into the car, buckle him up. I don't know. Ten minute routine to just get him in the fucking car. And I'm like, okay, let's go. One of my kids, who is probably the most intelligent human being in this building right now, honestly, seriously. We get half a mile from the grocery store, and him and one of the other kids are talking at me, but I'm ignoring it because I'm trying to listen to the song that I put on to ignore them, right? And finally I start tuning in to what's going on back there. And I'm like, what? What did you say? He goes, you forgot the pasta. And I was like, oh, shit. So now there's this decision going on in my head, right? Do I suffer the wrath of Astrid, or do I suffer the wrath of my children? Or both? What do I do? Okay, so I decide to suffer the wrath of the children. Cause that's much easier than Astrid stigar. That's right. Well, I go back to the grocery store, get them out, get em back in the basket, get em. We're only getting this one thing.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. The way. Then I get another thing for him. And so now we get him in the. In the cart, and then we got this. They get back to the house, and I said, okay, just don't tell your mom we had to do this. You know, saying else. Okay. So we get to the house. First thing that one of the kids says is, daddy forgot the pasta. And Astro's like, what? And I go, no, I didn't forget the pasta. I got the pasta. We had to make a trip back. Yeah, daddy forgot the pasta. And I told him. And when he did, he said, oh, shit, I did forget the pasta. And I'm like, get back to your room. I'm gonna give you another boo boo.

Pick out one of those bandaids.

Pick out one of those bandaids. You're gonna need it. All right, let's take a break, and we'll be back.

What? Oh, hi, it's Christina again, here. To remind you to go to tcbpodcast.com for all things audio, video, and tcbedio. Give us a follow on instagram, hecommercialbreak, and on TikTokcvpodcast. And guess what? We have a new phone number. I know what you're thinking, but I promise, this is the last TCb phone number you will ever have to remember. So call us and leave us a voicemail or text us at 212433 tcb. Once more for the people in the back. That's 212433 tcb. Oh, and check out our YouTube channel@YouTube.com, thecommercialbreak. That's all for now. Let's listen to our sponsors and get back to the show. It's the most anticipated WNBA season in.

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Wherever you get your podcasts.

All right? By line, meet blue, the dog who traveled 4 miles to get help for owner trapped in ravine. At first I thought, oh, this must be about my blue. But then I wrote, then I read the word helped, and then I said, nope, that's not my dog. Local authorities have published a photograph of a hero dog who ran 4 miles to get help for his owner after a car crash left him trapped in a ravine in Oregon. Blue, whom the New York Times identified as a whippet, is credited with. Oh, I know about whippets.

Smart as a whip.

Yeah, that's a good one, Chrissy. That's a good one. You like that one? Is that a good one for you? Blue, identified as a whippet, is credited by rescue services with helping save Brandon Garrett after his truck fell off a remote road in a heavily wooded area in a part of the state close to the border with Ohio on Idaho. On June Ohio, Ohio, and Oregon are not together. On June 2, Garrett was driving with his four dogs when the vehicle plummeted at a curve in the road. One of the dogs, later identified as Blue, traveled 4 miles to the campsite where Garrett and the dogs had been, which alerted the friends of Garrett that something was wrong. Prompted by blues appearance, Garrett's family started searching for him. They finally found his vehicle the next day but couldn't reach him. And then they 911 call. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. He's got a cracked ankle, and his body is just really bruised and battered like my kids, he added. One of the three dogs that remained at the site of the crash had surgery for a broken hip and is expected to be okay. After widespread coverage of blues valiants, the sheriff's officer put a photo of whippet on the facebook page.

Oh, I'm sure whoopit really appreciates that.

Did you get with blues consent?

I just think to myself, what a dogs are such amazing creatures. Most of them are such amazing creatures. You run 4 miles back to the campsite where you had been hanging out for the weekend to alert the other people at the campsite that something is wrong. Can you imagine? I also read about the cat who traveled like 100,000 miles or something cross country. Did you read about that one?

I did not read about the cat.

There was a cat, and New York family moves. Some suburban New York somewhere, family moves. But the cat wasn't in the house when they moved, and they were looking furiously for him, like this cat. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Seven years later, the cat shows up in California in the neighborhood where these people lived, and someone puts up signs. Cat. And the found cat was then found by the family because they looked at the photo and they said, that looks like the fucking cat that we lost seven years ago or five years ago. Whatever it was made its way across the country. How did it do that? Did it jump on a truck? Is it like one of those movies that Disney makes jumps on the truck and it makes friends with the truck, but it says, I have to leave you because I got to get to my family now.

It's just. It's hitchhiking, hopping on a train.

Oh.

Boat.

Turned a few tricks at a truck stop to make some money.

Hit up a boat at Lake Lanier.

Crossed over Lake Lanier, got on a train, went through Alabama. Stayed in Alabama for a while. Said, this isn't for me. Got on a truck.

Yeah.

Headed across Texas.

I like picturing that.

I like picturing that, too. Probably someone stole the cat. Got on a flight to California with the cat, and the cat decided, I don't like this. And he lived in the same neighborhood, probably the same people who stole it and put the found picture up. But it is amazing. These dogs. These animals are fucking amazing. They really are. I just wish I had one of those. And I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. You know, we got to get. So I'm starting to get a lot of pushback about my reactions to blue and the comments and the text messages. And I want to make this clear, and I've done this before, and I don't want to belabor the point, but I do love blue. There is a reason why blue is still in our lives, and that's because I have a responsibility to blue. I took her in as a little puppy. We. We are bonded. She. If you could see me when I'm not in this studio, then you would know that there are moments. I certainly get angry with blue. All the shitting and pissing and barking drives me up a fucking wall. But that dog is at my hip 24 hours.

So we go to my dad's lake house, and we got a little bit.

She's got such a funny personality, too, because, you know, she does her whole bark, bark, bark when anybody's coming in at the front door. Then, like, I'll come. She going crazy barking. I walk into the studio, and she just lays there. Lays there, licks me.

Yes.

It's so sweet and kind. Yes, it's very funny.

There's been entire episodes. Is that a hurricane outside the door? Nope. It's just my twelve children running in a pack like wild bison up and down the hallway of my hardwood floored house. Oh, there they go. You know, the thing is, is that blue is a funny creature. She can be absolutely insane one moment and then the next moment, the sweetest dog in the world. And you should see how she interacts with my youngest.

Oh, yeah.

If blue wasn't good with the children, it's likely there would be. I would have to find a new home.

No. But she has been great with all the 30.

She's amazing that. That my smallest loves the dog. Like, none of my other children love the dog. It's attached to the dog like none of my other children were attached to the dog. She literally wants to know where blue is 24 hours a day. If Blue's outside in the backyard, she gets upset. She wants to be with blue. She tries to ride blue. Sometimes I catch them, like, in my bedroom. I'll catch my youngest, who's like, you know, one and some change, you know, cuddling with blue. And you can tell that blue is very uncomfortable because the baby doesn't really know how to cuddle. She just grabs her skin and starts pulling her hair. But blue just sits there and is like, I know. Either she's too old for it or just doesn't care or instinctively knows that as part of this family, I better get along with this kid or else I'm gone.

Maybe that's it.

I do love blue. And the second that blue is gone from our lives, oh, it'll be a huge loss. It'll be a huge loss. It will be a huge loss. Mainly because the noise that the noise level in this house will go down by half. But I was sharing that. We went to my dad's house over the weekend and we left her at the vet to board. Right. And so they're not open on Sundays. We get back on Sunday afternoon and Astrid and I are commenting, how lovely is it that there's no barking going on, there's no jumping up, you know, just causing general mayhem. Stress and mayhem. I get out of the shower yesterday morning, and we haven't picked blue up yet. I get out of the shower yesterday morning.

There she is. She's made her way to.

She took a truck.

She took a truck.

Yeah. She literally walked half a mile back to my house. Ah, the adventures of blue. She. She's not. She's not there. I take a shower. I go to get out of the shower. I open the door to the bathroom, and I notice my anxiety level raises by, like, 30%. And I become real self aware real quick that I'm anxious about something, but I don't know what it is. And a little bit more tapping into that anxiety. And I know that the reason why I'm anxious is because I expect blue to be right there outside that bathroom door to jump on my legs with her, you know, ginseng, knife, nails, to cut my legs all up and to bark at me about something that she wants, like, you know, a treat, food, whatever. Go outside, do whatever. And so I realized that blue is such a big part of my life, so ingrained into my life, that she can't be gone for one day. And my body already realizes that something isn't right. Like, there's disturbance in the force. Yeah, there's disturbance in the force. So as much as I do protest about blue, and I do, I will stick by my.

I will stick by my bitching and complaining about her barking all the time.

Yeah.

But I will say this. I do love the dog. She is well taken care of. She is well fed. We do not hit her. We do not ignore her. She stays in nice hotels when we're gone. How do I know? Because I pay an arm and a leg to put her up. I got this friend, he's like, I just take her down to the Yokeloka boarding place, and they put her outside in the run. And, you know, it's $5 a day or whatever. Meanwhile, I'm paying 180 fucking dollars a day. The dog's got a tv in the corner on Animal Planet. Like, blue even cares about animal. Blue doesn't even know she's an animal. She wants to come with us to the Ritz Carlton. If we stayed at the Ritz Carlton, which we don't.

She likes to buy her things in life.

We got to take this trip in a couple of weeks to go see family. And so Astrid's trying to plan the trip. It's hard to plan a trip when you don't have any money. But anyway, she's planning this trip and she's, you know. And she's like, well, where should we stay? And I. Well, not the Ritz Carlton, that's for sure. Let's. We got too many kids for that. So I'm looking for, like, an embassy suite.

Yeah, boys are good.

I agree with you. Yeah, right. Like a suite type deal. You know the old embassy suites? Back when I was a kid, we used to stay at embassy suites because there was six of us in the family, right? And what would happen is you would get two bedrooms and then, like, a sitting room.

A sitting room. And that pulls out into a couch, right?

And so the kids got one room in the living room, and we'd have to figure out amongst us who was going where. And then my dad and my mom would get the other bedroom, right? So I said, look at the embassy suites. It's economical. They get free breakfast, free snacks.

They're nice.

They're nice, right? And they're not the nicest hotels in the world, but they're also not bad.

No, they're not.

There's an indoor swimming pool in every embassy suites. It's like part of their deal. And I said, the kids will love it. We can bring the life jackets. They can swim.

It's a solid choice.

Solid, solid choice. So we go and we start looking. She finds an embassy suites, and she's like, where is the two bedroom ones? And I'm like, I don't know. They all have them. I know they do. I haven't been in embassy suites in a long time. And so she's looking, she's looking, she's looking. And the normal embassy suites room is one bedroom with a sitting area. Those are like, I don't know, $350 a night, right? Not cheap, but you got a big family, things aren't going to be cheap.

Yeah.

She finds one with the two bedrooms, and they're like, dollar, 989 a night. And I'm like, holy fucking shit. A for an extra bedroom? You got to be kidding me. What happened to the good old embassy suites where every room was like that? I don't know. It's so expensive to have children in 2024, to have a big family in 2024. And then add on top of that, I got to put my dog at the fucking, you know, Waldorf Astoria of dogs for no reason because she's brat, she's pampered. I don't know. You know, wouldn't she be fine? I said to Astrid, I said, let's hire the neighbor to come over and feed her.

There you go. When I was young, I used to do that for our neighbors.

You did the dogs? Yeah, dogs.

They would kick over. Yeah, they would kick some money, and I would go over there and feed the dog, take the dog out, you know, be sure the dog's okay. A few times a day.

I wish that I had that dog. I bet blew the other blue, the whippet blue.

I did come home one time, though. I did go over there one time, and they the dog had chewed through the entire library of the family photos. And I was. I was like, oh, no, this was before backup. This is when you got the film developed, carefully placed them in order in a photo album. I came over and I was like, oh, no.

Oh, my gosh. That is too funny.

You guys should be fine, though, with digital age.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll be fine. We'll be fine on the digital delayed.

I called my mom. I was like, oh, shit, what do I do here? What Benji did.

Yeah, yeah, we did that one time. Kevin and I babysat, like, one time for neighbors down the street. And when we babysat, I think I've told this story. We babysat. And of course, being the little shitheads that we are, the second that the kid. The kid was, like, already asleep when we got there. You know, the parents sleep. He was like a three year old or something. And they were like, just make sure nothing sets on fire. Hang out, call 911, or call us. Here's a phone number you can reach us at. They did back before cell phones.

Here's some cash for a pizza.

Exactly right? Yeah, here's some cash for a pizza. And so we ordered the pizza, but then Kevin started this, you know, I'm blaming on Kevin. Kevin started. Kevin started like, you know, going around the house, opening doors and cabinets and stuff like that. You know, just. I think just curiosity. You're a kid. You're. You're curious. Well, he eventually makes his way to the bedroom, and I'm sitting in the room next to where the kid is sleeping, like a bonus room or something with a tv, and I'm just watching tv. Kevin's running around the house investigating, and he comes back, and what he has is a mortgage board of things that children should not find in their parents house. A dildo, a copy of the Kama Sutra, a porn movie, weed. And then this is before we even knew what weed was. We were like, 1213 years old, right? I mean, we knew what weed was, but we'd never seen it in person. That was for sure. And Kevin's like, oh, my God, look at this bag of weed. Here's a boner. I don't even know what this is. This is a dick. And I'm like, oh, yeah.

He's like, here's a porn movie. Let's put it in. So, you know, you'll put in the porn movie that, you know, the whole nine yards. So here we are with all the things that these. These people never wanted us to see in the bonus room. We didn't smoke the weed or anything like that. We just had it out. So it's like this really weird scene going on of me and my brother watching a porn movie with a dong and some weed at the compass and a pizza. And a pizza. And a domino's pizza next to a sleeping kid who has no idea. Well, guess what?

They came out.

Parents came home early. Kevin rushed to put it all back. Right? You could hear the garage door opening. So, you know, Kevin rushes to put it all back and.

No, they probably didn't even come back early. They probably came back on.

They probably did.

You were so engrossed.

Yes. In the porn movie. So, you know, first time seeing hardcore porn, first time seeing, you know, weed in person. I didn't even know what the fucking commissuchar was. Forget about that. I still don't know what the Kama Sutra is. I mean, I know what it is. I just don't know what it says or. I probably asked her to be happier anyway. So parents come home. Kevin rushes back. It's like one of those movies, you know? Kevin's throwing everything back. Well, a couple of days later, we get this phone call from our dad who's at work. And dad puts us on the speakerphone and he explains that we wouldn't be back.

Oh, no, he's calling from work.

Yes, he called from work. Oh, anytime dad called.

Communication from work.

Yeah. Couldn't even wait to get home. He couldn't wait to whip our asses face to face. He had to let us know that it was coming later. He had to give us time to worry about the ass whooping we were getting. I just got a phone call from Steve down the street. Did any you. Did you guys go through the. Their, you know, personal effects in their bedroom? And we were like, no. What? No, no, no. It wasn't us. Wasn't us. And he says, well, they seem to think differently because apparently a few items were moved around and a couple are missing. Did you take anything from that house? We're like, no, no, not us. What? Dad crazy these people are. We don't know where.

Did they smoke weed?

Yeah, we were too high to take anything from the house. What are you talking about? I was jacking off in the corner and Kevin was ripping bongs. I don't know. So eventually it comes out that the weed was misplaced. The Kama suture was misplaced, and the porn movie was still in the VCR.

We didn't get invited back.

No, we didn't get invited back for that particular babysitting job. But I didn't like it anyway. I didn't like those people. They were weird. I just always thought they were. Well, I mean, because when you're a little kid, then you see all this weird stuff. And we told our dad, we said, hey, listen, dad, eventually the truth came out, right? And we said, hey, listen. Yeah, we got a little curious and we went and we did some things in there and we saw it. But they had drugs. And my dad was like, drugs? And he was like, they had drugs, dad, drugs. Drugs that, you know, they were doing the weed. They were doing the weed, dad. They were on the weed. And he was like, what? And marijuana, dad. There was marijuana in the thing. How do you know what marijuana looks like? I've seen it in on tv. You know, education. McGrath, the crime dog. I've seen it. They taught us this at school. They showed us pictures. We know what weed looks like, dad. And he's like, well, okay, no more babysitting over there. But you still shouldn't be going through people's personal effects.

Meanwhile, we did that every single day. My dad was gone. At the office, we went through his first. Just looking for something. I don't know what we were looking for. We're looking for. This all comes full circle that when the kids come in here, of course, you can't. There's no secrets. I have. I have a place that is locked and fireproof and bulletproof and all that stuff. Somewhere where I keep the most eccentric, our biggest essence.

Everybody needs a safe.

Everybody needs a safe. And the kind you can't get into, not the cheapy one you buy at Walmart. You just pop with a fucking, you know, half dollar bill. I'm talking about the real deal safe combination. Yes. And that is going to be my defense against my children finding anything weird. So Astrid and I's old home movies. You know, I'm talking about home movies. Of course. They're on my phone and probably seven. I'm probably on you porn right now.

You probably are. Because you know that if it's on your phone, then it gets synced to if they're looking at an iPad, which we found that out the hard way.

Oh, no. Really? And your kids are older. They know what they're looking at. Embarrassing.

No, we figured it out before. I think there was any kind of weirdness, but we definitely had to hide those photos.

Bring your iPad next time. I'm gonna sync it with my iCloud. We'll sink each other's icloud. We'll see who's freakier.

Let's see who's a bigger freak.

All right, let's take a break and we'll be back.

Well, thank the baby Jesus. Brian took a breath. And now I will use this opportunity to let you know that we've got a brand new phone number. That's right, it's 212433 TCb. And you can text us anytime you want, or you can call and leave us a voicemail and we might just use your message on the show once Brian gets through all the messages he missed last year, of course. Anyway, you can also find and dm us on Instagram, at thecommercial break and on TikTok ECB podcast. And of course, all of our audio and video is easily found on tcbpodcast.com. now, I'm going to thank g one more time that we have sponsors, so thank g and here they are.

Okay, I want to follow up on Jojo Siwa, who we have defended publicly here, saying that Jojo Siwa is, in fact, just a child star trying to make a transition into adulthood. And everybody goes through it. We've seen everybody go through it. And it's just one of those things you do. Everybody, I mean, listen, I guess to be fair to the general audience, everybody busted on Brittany and, you know, Christina and Miley and everybody who's gone through this, they've all had that awkward face. And the public, as the public never does, gave them no grace either. But I'm just offending Jojo Siwa in the sense that with hindsight, having seen a couple of these teen stars go through adulthood. And by the way, she was on Nickelodeon, not on Disney. I said she was a Disney kid. She's not. She's Nickelodeon kid and a dance mom kid. She was like in dance moms with that crazy human being, that lady.

I don't know.

I never watched.

I never watched. I knew of it.

But. But I think there are a few famous dancers that came out of that. There was like one that danced in a lady Gaga video. I don't. Whatever. Anyway, so Jojo Siwa, we're just giving a little grace. We talked about that video that was going around of her and Epcot drinking from location to location.

She was really drunk while she was turning 21.

Yeah, while she, we had the day of her 21st birthday, she was in Disney world and she was trying to get everybody to sing along to her song. And no one knew the lyrics because, because, you know, while it's not necessarily an earwig, it's also not like the video's been watched a lot, but no one was singing along with it because they didn't know the lyrics. Well, I think I'm turning on this a little bit. I'll tell you why. It's because I can appreciate when an artist goes through as a moment like this. But if you're going to, like, you know, go full bore and be your new self and do your new thing, be a little bit authentic about it and sing your own fucking songs. I've been watching videos of Jojo. She's been at multiple, I think multiple gay pride parades, like where she. Or events where she's singing. She's doing a deal, a concert, and she is lip syncing so incredibly poorly. She's got them. She's got a microphone on a stand like Freddie Mercury used to have. You know what I'm talking about? Like one of those big stands you hold in your hand.

And she's literally got the. The microphone up above her head while she's singing the song. It's clear as day that she is lip syncing the entirety of the song. Not one word is saying by her. It's all sung by a track. That's it. No band, no nothing. And listen, I don't expect, like, a pop artist like that to have a full band on a quick little, you know, three song number. But I do expect you're going to sing at least some of your song. Like, that would be the right thing to do. But Jojo is not even singing one inch of her song. And that just, like, reminds me of all the bad lip syncing things that we've encountered in our life. Let's name a few of them. Remember that girl on Saturday Night Live, what's her name's sister, who got caught on Saturday Night Live singing with the backup track?

Yeah. Was it Britney Spears? No, not her, but her sister. Or was it Jessica Simpson's sister?

Ashley Simpson? Yeah, it was Ashley Simpson. Ashley Simpson got caught lip syncing because the track started to skip while she was live on Saturday Night Live. And then she said she had a cold and she had to do the backup singer. But one of the biggest lip syncing controversies right now that's going on out there, along with Jojo Siwa, is Madonna. Apparently Madonna is doing a lot of lip syncing to her own tracks also. And I gotta wonder, at her concert, at her own concert, this is what people are saying, right? There's, like, lawsuits now against Madonna because she's showing up 5 hours late and pissing everybody off. And taking her dear sweet time and all this. And I have to agree a little bit with the people who are, listen, Madonna is Madonna. She's gonna do what Madonna does. If Madonna is notoriously late, don't expect her to show up on time.

Right.

But I also don't expect her to show up 5 hours after the concert was supposed to start. If you're supposed to see a show 07:00 p.m. and at midnight, someone's just coming on stage, that might piss me off to 5 hours is a long time to wait. For somebody to show up on a stage, getting hammered in an arena full.

Of other people say, it's a long time to drink waiting.

It is a long time to drink it, to wait and to just kind of be miserable while you're trying to figure out ladies going to come on whatsoever. Revved up, revved up, revved down. Let's say Chrissy says rev down while everybody's revving up because too drunk, waiting for Madonna to sing her old hits. What do you think about lip syncing in general, as, would you be angry if you went to go see your favorite artist, let's say widespread panic and John was singing?

Yes, I think. I think there's different cases for it. So, yes, if you go to a concert, somebody's concert that you paid money for to go see them specifically.

Girl.

Then I think no lip syncing.

Yes.

No. Especially not the main person, the main singer.

Yes.

So. But, you know, I think there could be cases made for it at different other, like, events maybe, you know, maybe like a little like an integrated lip.

Syncing, I think a backing vocal.

Yeah.

Right. In situations where there's a, like, it's a highly produced track and you're just not able to sing everything. Like, you can't sing five tracks at one time. So having a backing track, I can understand, right. If I pay. If I pay $109 to go see someone in the fucking nosebleed section, 109 is cheap. Cheap. If I go see a hundred, pay 109 to see someone in the nosebleed section and I find out that they're lip syncing, that might piss me off.

Yeah. You know, Vince Neil didn't even do that.

Vince Neil is bad. He is as terrible as he is.

He's just not. He's not lip syncing.

Listen, it is what it is.

You're out of breath.

That's right.

You forgot the words.

Out of breath, having a stroke.

And that's what happened.

Eating a turkey leg on stage and he still sings his own songs.

Yeah.

If there was ever a case for lip syncing, Vince would be it.

Yes.

Yes. And I'm telling you what, Corey Feldman, that guy is out there singing every one of his songs terribly. I mean, he's so bad, but he sings them, and I gotta give him. I gotta give him props for that.

Yeah.

He sings them, and people show up to watch him. Even if it is for a joke, they still show up to watch him. I don't appreciate the lip syncing thing. I think if you're gonna ask people to pay the enormous amount of money it takes to put on a live show these days. Charges for a live show.

Yeah.

That you, at the very least, should show up and be your author, even if it's not the best. Listen, I know I talk about this band a lot. I really like them. Pearl Jam. I've seen Pearl Jam a lot. Eddie Vedder is not the same person he was 20 years ago. He's not the same singer he was. Everybody was good. What is that, kung fu fighting? I don't think that was my pearl. Jerk.

Touch, dummies. I was saying. No, like. Like Eddie.

Yes. But at least he sings his own song now.

You gotta be authentic at your own concerts.

Absolutely. Gotta be authentic at your own show. And you know what? The crowd will roll with it. I'm telling you that they will. I promise you they'll roll with it. I don't know what Jojo Siwa sounds like without lip syncing, but you got to do it on your own. Fly without a net. That's the way you make it or break it. And if you have a few big, bad concerts, well, join the club. I had a few bad concerts, too.

Yes.

You know who you know is a good example? That Maggie Rogers. You know, Maggie Rogers is. Oh, man, she's amazeballs. Maggie Rogers is amazeballs. You don't know about Maggie Rogers? Check her out. She's amazing. And she's up there on stage, and with every note, she is giving it. Her. All she is is dancing. Her entire body's into it. It's fascinating, actually, to watch her on stage. I've only seen videos of it. I've never actually seen her live. But she's amazeballs. And sometimes, because of all of the energy she puts into the show, she's a little off. She's flat or she's sharp or whatever. It's not exactly. She's not exactly hitting the note. Now, she's much more talented than I am, don't get me wrong.

Yeah. Well, I mean, I think you go to see the essence of the song.

Yes. I don't give a shit if Maggie Rogers is off a beat when I'm watching one of those, because you know what? It's real. And the performance is electrifying. Very few people can get it right note after note every single time. Like, prince is one of those people. Right? Bruce Springsteen that. Even Jon Bon Jovi, he's starting to sound like he lost his hearing. I mean, that guy sounds awful.

He lost his voice. He had like a whole vocal cord situation.

Oh, he did? Yeah. Oh, he didn't know that. Yeah. Now I feel like an asshole. Well, now I officially feel like an asshole. Thanks, Chrissy. Sorry, I thought I was going to leave this episode and go, look, I didn't really piss anybody off too bad on that one.

Well, no, he's working his way back, though.

Hey, listen. Yeah.

You know, anyways, moving on.

Moving on. What I was gonna say, few people can.

One especially, too, with the way that songs are now produced. I mean, there's so much production that goes in between, whether it's auto tune or taking this, that the other. Making it, whatever.

Yes.

You know, you can't. You cannot reproduce exactly what's on the album in concert. Like.

No, you. It's almost next impossible unless you're one of those bands who records live and everything that you do is intended to be live. Like, I don't know anyway.

But even that's gonna be different each time.

Yeah. I mean, like, you know, fish. Like fish is a band. A lot of people like goose, goose fish. These are bands that, like a lot of people like. But they don't focus on that. They put out nice albums.

Yeah.

But really, what they're.

People go to hear the nuances. Yes, he said this instead of that.

They played it this way and they said it that way. And every time it's a different experience because they're kind of. That's how they learned by fire. They went out there and they did it. And I've heard a lot of fish, a lot of live fish. And I'm telling you right now, Trey ain't always in tune either. Like, I mean, there's a lot of not great singing that's happened in that course, that years. You can appreciate that the guy does 100 live shows year. He's getting older. He's not always going to sound the way that he sounded on the album because the album allows for perfection or as close to it as you're going to get. But Jojo Siwa is not fish, nor is she prince, nor is she Bruce Springsteen or Bon Jovi or whoever. She needs to.

Might need to lay low.

Fly out with a net. Yeah. Now I'm saying if she had a manager that was worth his weight in anything, his or her weight, you know what they would do? They would say, jo Jo, take a fucking break. Let's take a five years off. Let's live on your royalties from dance moms and Nickelodeon or whatever. And this one kind of not great album you put out there. Let's do that. And let's be real specific about when we choose to go out there in the world and put ourselves out there publicly, and in five years, everyone will have forgotten about you. And that's a good thing, because then you can come back and start fresh. We're going to start authentically. We are going to put together a album of just you singing. That's it. That's what we're going to call it. Acapella. See, while we're going to prove to the world that you can sing in those five years, you're going to take some singing lessons. So that if you in fact do sound shitty, because we don't know, because she only lip syncs, then if in fact you do sound shitty, then what we're going to do is we're going to put you out there to the world and present you as a wonderful, beautiful singer, because you're going to have learned and trained and gotten it right, if that's what you choose to do.

And so now I'm starting to side a little bit with the general population on. See why here.

I'm like, oh, give it a little break for the rest of the summer.

Maybe, you know, a lot of people.

Enjoy yourself, girl.

That's right. Go to Lake Lanier. Only five people a day drown there. They get caught in the roofs of the houses. It's terrible. It's terrible. What a terrible way to go. Yeah. Apologies to all people who have lost someone at.

Yeah, they say it's haunted.

I don't go there anymore. I just don't. We're gonna go to a lake. It's not linear. Yeah. I don't know why, but I just don't. I just. Excuse me.

Yeah.

Weird vibes. Yeah. It's a perfectly lovely lake. I've been there, I'm sure.

Beautiful home.

I saw it on MTV. It looks wonderful.

Yeah, yeah. It's not for me anymore. And they're done that if you there.

Done that a lot. And so, you know, I'm gonna watch it on MTV. Now that's where. That's where I'll see. Or not. Or not.

Because it's back.

I don't think season two is coming up. I don't know. Maybe they did do season two. I just never heard about it. Did you read that the average watch.

More MTV than anybody I've ever known?

The average age of the MTV watcher is 57 years old. Yes. Yes. They had that out on ad week. That's crazy. Well, not 57. Yeah, it's all catfish. Yeah, it's catfish and teen mom. But the teen moms from the first season, right. Are the still the ones that are on teen mom. They have no fresh episodes of teen mom with actual teens in it.

Kind of a good thing, I think.

I agree with you. Let's not glorify. All right. Okay. Ccbpodcast.com. that's where you go. You find out more information about Chrissy and I. All the show notes, the links to the guest stuff, all of that stuff is available on our website. Just go there. If you want your free sticker, you can hit the contact us button. Drop down menu says, I want my free sticker. Give us your address away. That sticker will go. I'd like to thank everybody who's been communicating with us lately. It's wonderful. Love you. Sometimes you get me, sometimes you get assured. Sometimes you get someone else. But someone will always respond to 661. Oh, no, no. Excuse me. Hold on. 1 second. 212433. TCB. 212-43-3822 questions, comments, concerns, contents, ideas. You want to be on the show, let us know. Hit that phone number. Add the commercial break on Instagram, TCb podcast on TikTok and YouTube.com. thecommercialbreak. All of our guest interviews and selected episodes available. Go ahead and subscribe. Follow us on Instagram. Please, please, please. Okay, Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for today.

I think so.

But I'll tell you that I love you.

I love you.

Best to you.

And best to you.

And best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I always say, we do say, and we must say goodbye. J. I gotta get some cocaine. That's gonna be crazy.