We like cake. We like cake. I like cake, though. I do.

I just like cake.

I like it a lot. I like cake. Give me cake. Give me cake. A box of cake. On this episode of the Commercial break.

No one breaks up with me.

No one ever breaks up with me except for you because you're my only girlfriend ever. I went to McDonald's today, drove through the drove through an order number I asked for extra barbecue sauce, but the lady forgot to put it in. So I went around again. I turned down the music in case you couldn't hear me. The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. Oh, yeah, guys, you're getting to, Welcome back to The Commercial Break. I'm Brian Greene. This is my RBL to Michael Tony. Chris Dejoye.

I'm the best to you, Chris. Best to you, Brian.

I'm poking you along. I'm poking you along.

I know what that is. There we go. I know what that is.

Very excited to have you back. Thank you for joining us, everybody. I wanted to say a quick hello and a quick note to one of our dear listeners, Allison. I don't want to say her last name. I know her last name, but I don't want to say it because I don't know if she wants everybody knowing she was on a commercial break. But she's so sweet, and she's been writing us for a while now. I think I told you about this young lady. She works in a factory. Did I tell you about this one? Yes. Okay. She works in a factory, and she listens to the commercial break while she's making the widgets or whatever is going on. And her bosses are not the nicest people in the world, according to her, not the nicest people in the world. And it really gets her down sometimes. But she listens to the show, and then it brings her back up. And she was like, Sometimes I just feel like nothing's going on in life, but I'm glad I have you, too, because you're my friends, and I get to listen to you and all this other stuff.

I was like, Oh, that's a very sweet text message that she wrote. It sounded like she was a little down and outs about the job. I explained to her that everybody, big small, soon or far away, has some purpose. We all have some purpose, and it's not to make widgets. Maybe it's to tell the show that you like how good of a job that they're doing, so they keep on doing it. That's right. I was like, so maybe that is your purpose. We do need that encouragement. God damn, though, we do. We don't get it from our spouses. That's right. I just wanted to... But the great part of the text message had nothing to do with all the niceties that we were... Pleasantries that we were exchanging, but that she She goes home and tells her boyfriend what they have to watch based on my opinions of television. Oh, Lord. I had to write a text. I saw this text message the other night when I was here in the studio, and I was like, Oh, I got to write her back, and then I got to apologize to her poor fucking boyfriend.

I was going to say, I don't know.

Who's watching my 600-pound life of the seven little Johnstons on repeat.

Whatever. The other way, this way, that way.

That way, 90 day, the other way, 90 day. Sideways. But here's the good news for everybody involved. The Olympics on. So at least for the next couple of weeks, we don't have to listen to Brian O'Pine about any of that stuff because it's on 24 hours, seven days a week. Because I love the fucking Olympics. I don't know. It's just something exciting about all the international sport and thinking what a history they have. And I know it's corrupted shit and it's all bullshit, and it's just a big money maker. But for the athletes, it's a real thing.

No, yeah. They train all their lives for this.

They do. And there's always great stories. And you know, NBC, who's had the Olympics forever and ever and will have it forever and ever, does a good job of bringing out those stories with Olympians, athletes that you would never otherwise know a fuck about. I mean, you just wouldn't. Badmitten is on in the background right now. Who the fuck watches professional Badmitten? No one.

I enjoyed the fencing.

I was watching the fencing. That was wild. Did you watch it today?

I didn't watch it today, but I watched it, whatever, yesterday or Saturday. It was crazy, too, with the mask, with the flag.

It's all electronic. They all like the ding, ding, ding, ding, ding Hey, I think fencing is a sport for hot women. Did you notice that all the women were really gorgeous? I thought to myself, wow. I thought I was good with my sword. They're good with their swords. Speaking of swords in the Olympics, did you see that one of the divers had a big old boner? No. Oh, it's all over the internet. Oh, my God. He's a French Olympian. His name is... I'm going to get it wrong. Jules Boyer. Jules Boyer had a Jules Bonet. Look at that. He had a full Chub. Okay. That's full chub right there. You know those divers, they don't wear any clothing. They wear... You know how I have a hope?

Maybe that's just the way he is endowed.

That's the way he's endowed? I don't know. No, that's a boner. That's definitely a boner. That's one of those boners you tuck up. You know what I'm saying? Try and give it the illusion that it's actually not a boner.

How did you have the boner with the swimming when you're about to get in the cold pool? I don't know. Or is that when he got out of the pool or before he went in?

I'm not really sure. I didn't see it live. I'm just checking out the pictures online. Well, maybe he is well-endowed. Look at that. Look at those two swimmers. They both have the biggest dicks I've ever seen in my entire life. They might be well-endowed. That's why I don't wear swimsuits like that. Well, also, they have- Speedos? 28 packs, and I've got a one-pack. I got a one-pack. I got a 12-pack. 12-pack of fucking cream and cereal. No, that dude has a bone. That's a full bone hair. That's what that is. Boyer has a bone hair. Good for him. Good for him feeling confident enough to get out there and rock it. Yeah, exactly.

Hey, listen. He's high tea.

He has high T. He has very high T. He's also probably 19 years old. You know that they're just dicken down in that Olympic village. Oh, yeah. Let's talk about the opening ceremony. Did you watch it?

I did watch that, yes.

Four and a half hours of absolute madness. I do not understand half of what fucking went on. I have no clue. You've probably seen it because it was one of the most watched opening ceremonies of the modern times. Let's put it that way, of the modern times. Last time that we had the Summer Olympics, it was in Tokyo.

Yeah, 2021.

2021 because of COVID. It was poorly watched. Only 17 million people watched the opening ceremonies, which is oftentimes a bellwether of how the rest of the Olympics are going to do. This time, almost 30 million people tuned in. So a little less than double tuned in to the opening ceremonies. And thank God, because it was the most batshit crazy opening Olympics. I loved it. Opening ceremonies of all time. I loved every minute of it.

I did, too. I like the boat parade. It was different because That's the thing, too. Every time. This is the first time it was held not in a stadium. So that's the thing. Every Olympic time, you're like, Okay. They're marching everybody out, and they're doing their dancing.

They have their flags.

They have a flag, yeah.

It is very boring. It is. There's no way to make a good story out of that. It's just like, I'm not all the Americans. Then they point out individual athletes. But everyone riding down on the boat.

I thought that was fun. Pouring down rain. They have the dancing, all the dancers.

All over the city.

Lady Gaga was great, and Soline Dion at the end.

That was amazing. Okay, so let's talk about it. Let's go through it a little bit because I wrote a bunch of notes down here.

Snoop Dog showed up. I mean, I love it.

Okay, I'm a little over Snoop Dog already. At first, I was like, Why?

But then I loved it. I was like, He's a fun guy.

He is, no doubt about it. Mbc is paying him to be there, by the way. He is. Of course, yeah. They're paying him to be there, and he's just like... I don't know. He's like a ghost that just shows up.

He's floating around. He is.

He's watching the gymnastics, and all of a sudden, he's at the fencing, and over here. They must have a helicopter just moving him from place to place. He's living the fucking life. He's not really doing anything except giving high fives to parents of children that are inside of the Olympics, which is cool, I guess. It's good work if you can get it. This is a celebrity-filled Olympics. It is. Of course, it's going to be.

It's Paris. It's Paris. Yeah.

So they were showing... Mbc was showing all the restaurants along the Truncadéro. They had famous people, the Elon Musk and Tom Hanks and Tom Cruise and Lady Gaga. Everybody, anybody who is anybody was at the Olympics. I thought that was great. I'm like, Okay, all right, there's some celebrity star power showing up.

Tom Cruise. Beyonce, John legend, Chrissy Tegan.

I do have to say this about Tom Cruise. Well, I think we have bashed on him a lot in this show, and that's because of his personal beliefs. I've never met him, but by all accounts, he seems like a pretty nice guy.

He does seem like a nice guy.

He is shaking hands with people on the street. He's exchanging Taylor Swift bracelets with people. He's taking pictures with old Chinese ladies like, This guy seems like just a nice guy. Yeah, because Elon Musk ain't doing that. I guarantee that he's not doing that. So you got to give it to Tom. He's a man of the people, I suppose. Maybe he should be our president. All right, let's talk. The music was good at some points, but there was moments where it got a little for me. At least I didn't understand exactly what was going on with the music. This went on for four and a half hours, by the way. So it wasn't This was like a one-hour production. This was four and a half hours. All over the streets of Paris, it started off with this weird music, and the whole theme was there was somebody who was carrying the Olympic torch and couldn't make his way through the crowd, so he handed it to some children. Those children then went into the sewers of Paris.

Right, the Catacombs?

Yeah, they did stop by the Catacombs at some point, too. Where millions... Esther and I have been there on Halloween night, by the way. Oh, nice.

It was interesting. I like that. That's something I would do.

You go down hundreds and hundreds of feet, and then there are millions and millions and millions of skulls and bones from people who have passed away in both world wars. When they started really creating Paris, they had to get rid of a lot of graveyards, so they put them in the catacombs. The walls sometimes are just skulls, and they look pretend, but they're not pretend. They're actual skulls, actual human beings. In some places, just piles and piles of bones. Wow. It's really creepy but interesting and cool, and you're in this little tiny cave. Anyway. They go down to the catacombs, and they make their way to the sewers of Paris or the tunnels of Paris. Then all of a sudden, the phantom of the opera is playing, but there's this faceless mask lady that's now taking the torch in a river boat in the sewers, and then she's floating down the river to the river Seine, the river Seine, and then she's jumping all over the roofs of Paris. It was a little hard. It was non-congruent. It was hard to follow, but I get it. There's a lady with a mask who's got the torch, and she also does really cool handstands and flips.

Okay, awesome. Is that the fan of the opera? I'm not really sure. Early on in the show, and by the way, I just want to say this about the River Sin. The River Sin, the day before the Olympics started was not cleared for Olympic activities because the levels of E. Coli were very high.

Weren't a bunch of people shitting in it or something?

They were shitting in it and throwing in it, like buckets of shit upstream, so it would float down into Paris because they were protesting, whatever. But protesting is a way of life in Paris. It's just something that they do there. I don't know. It's like a pastime. Here, when we protest, all hell breaks loose. But there it's like, we're going to shit in the River Sin because with the River Sin is too dirty. It doesn't make any sense.

I know.

It doesn't. So shortly after the Olympians start coming down the shit-filled River of Sin, Lady Gaga appears out of nowhere walking down a stairway near the River Sin. She does this really strange but very cool- The Cancan. I don't know what- The Cancan. The Cancan. Cancan stuff. Kind of, the Cancan stuff. She's singing a song that she's obviously not singing, but she's jumping around and dancing around with feather boas and feathers in her hand. First surprise of the night. Second surprise of the night is about half an hour later. You got to understand, they're interspersing these pre-made productions, like movies, almost. Those a vignette, if you will. I even used a French word there. That was amazing, Brian. Good for you.

Good job.

One of the vignettes starts with this sexy French music. And there's people sitting in a library, one of the famous libraries there. Beautiful architecture, beautiful library. And they're dressed- A lot of old libraries. I know. The ones in Paris are just stunning. Their makeup is clown-like. They're almost like mimes or clowns or something. There's one woman, two men. The men are like, flirting with each other in some weird mime-like way. Then they start pulling books from the shelf. It's like, dangerous lait a son, a tas de tout, sexette. Books about sex. Even if you don't speak French, you didn't have to. You got it. This was all about sex. At the end of this vignette, they start dancing through the hallways and ripping up books and throwing the pages down this big stairwell. Then at the end, they end up in an apartment making out with each other. It just as they're about to really heavily get it on, the one of the clowns, mimes, or whatever they are, goes, Oh, no, no. And then shuts the door. Shuts the door on them. So you have your first official threesome in an opening ceremony. I like it.

Of which the conservative media in America went apeshit.

Of course they did.

It's fucking Paris. I know they're known for sex. Romance and sex is part of the gig. You didn't think they would go an entire opening ceremony without showing you a boner, did you? Come on, guys. Get it together. Okay, so we go from there to to the, I think, most incredible part of this, which is Marie Antoinette, two ladies holding their own heads- That was cool. In their hands, which was a cool visual, practical effect that they did. And these ladies were singing, but they weren't singing. They were singing an opera song, but behind it was heavy metal rock music. I know. I saw that. So it's like a castle-ish type thing on the River Seine, and all of a sudden, out of the windows, some very… It's like this opera music, but it's being played by this heavy metal band, and the drummer's hanging out of a balcony, and The other guy's hanging off the building playing his guitar. It was the coolest fucking thing I've ever seen. Fire, fireworks, lights, magic, tricks. You have to go watch it. If you haven't seen it, what are you doing? It's worth the four-hour watch. I'm I'm telling you right now, it's awesome.

We've got headless dancers. Then let's get to the part, let's fast forward. There's all these different... Let me tell you this about it. There are different dance numbers. There are different routines all over the city. They had never been practiced not once. This was not once where they were supposed to be. In order to keep everything such a secret, the French Olympic officials decided, We should practice this in secret. We'll know where we're going to be, but we can't practice there because then people will get pictures of it and they'll start putting it together. We really want this to be a surprise. You could have practiced this 3,000 fucking times in the middle of the streets, and it still would have been a surprise. It was honestly the most looney-tuned thing I've ever seen.

There was the French rapper, which I enjoyed.

Oh, the French rapper? Yeah. Yes. And then the French- The piano.

There was the whole piano thing.

They did a piano interlude on the Love Lock Bridge. And then there was the French Beyoncé, who came out and sang at Where was it? Palace of Versailles or something like that. That was incredible. I thought that was a very beautiful song. And then we start getting toward the end. And when we get toward the end, the last thing to be done in an Olympic ceremony is to light the fucking torch. That's what you do. It took forever for the torch to get there. I mean, it took the longest time. But the weirdest thing happened is that all of a sudden, the lady with the black mask on who you never saw one glimpse of her face at all, she takes the torch and then she lights it to a Another person who's dressed like a sexy robot lady. I don't know, she's all in silver and she's on a horse. Then all of this, so there's a vignette where she lights it and then the horse is running. Then all of a sudden, the horse is now a robot also in the water and they have this practical effect where it seems like it's on a self-perpelled little boat or something.

The horse is the size of an actual horse, like a Clydesdale. It's mimicking the gallop through the and the lady is on top of it holding the flag and the torch and just riding down the river for 30 fucking minutes. It goes on forever. The people who were doing the commentating which was Kelly Clarkson, Payton Manley. Who's that guy who they always have doing everything on the sports? Can't think of his name.

It's like Al Michals or something.

Not Al Michals.

I know what you're saying. He was in the middle.

He was in the middle. He's great. You know him, but you never know his name because you just hear his voice. But he's that great guy who's never going to say anything offensive. He knows how to handle himself. Kelly Clarkson is going apeshit. She doesn't know what to say. Everything's awesome. Everything's wonderful. It's pouring down rain half the time, by the way. She keeps on saying how wonderful it is it's raining. I think that was what she led to the commentary until... Let me get to this. So that horse goes down that river for 30 fucking minutes. Music is building. Music is building. They have showing these clips of old Olympics at such a fast-paced style. Would have to press the pause button to see any one particular thing that was going on, interspersed with this person just riding on this horse down the river, down the river, down the river, and then without any explanation whatsoever. No explanation. The horse is no longer there, and now the horse from the beginning, the real horse with the lady on top of it is riding up the truckadero with the Eiffel Tower behind it. It took at least 17 and a half fucking minutes for that horse to ride up and light that damn torch, to which it wasn't even really a torch.

It was a hot air balloon. I don't get it, but I love it. I don't have to get it.

I love that. That was a super cool look. Yes.

I don't care. I don't care, Chrissy. I loved every minute of it. I did, too. I thought it was the weirdest shit I've I've never seen in my entire life. It certainly is the weirdest Olympic-related thing.

Something different. Yes.

But let's talk about the coup de grand. The thing that just puts the icing on top of the cake is they cut after the Olympic torch is lit and after everybody has settled down and we're four a half hours in and it's pouring down rain still, and now it's night time, and Paris is the city of lights at night, and the Eiffel Tower is lit up beautifully with the Olympic rings on it and all that other stuff. You hear the unmistakable voice that we've all heard a million times before, and that is the voice of Céline Dion. They cut to her on top of the restaurant, standing on top of the restaurant in the middle of the Eiffel Tower. This is probably 40 stories in the air. She is literally standing on a platform on top of that restaurant, and she is singing with her famous pianist. I can't remember that guy's name. He was the judge on Britain's Got Talent or whatever.

Was it David? I thought it was David Foster. David Foster.

It is. It was David Foster. Yeah, that's who he is. Yeah, he's her famous writing partner.

Well, he's also a major. He's won like 16 Grammys. He's a major producer.

She sings this song in French, and she sings it with such gusto. Now, there's a lot of discussion about whether or not it was live or it's lip sync. My opinion was it was lip sync, but I don't give a shit what doesn't matter. No. It's just the fact that she sang it at all, anywhere, at any time, in a studio, outside of a studio, with the current condition that she has, and then got up and stood up there for the seven and a half minutes it took to sing the song or whatever it was. It's an amazing feat. I know.

It brought till It brought chills.

It brought tears. I was floored. I was floored that she had the gumption, that she had the strength, that the producers had the forethought to think of Céline and to allow allow her to do this and to sing in front of everybody. It was an unmistakably beautiful moment. It was the icing we'd all been waiting in a sea of unreal, crazy, misunderstood, not not congruant, absolutely sideways, bullshit that I loved, by the way. A moment of clarity was Céline Dion singing a song with all of her might that she otherwise probably wouldn't have been able to do in front of any crowd. Because she's so sick. She sang that song, maybe for the last time in front of a live crowd, sang a song, and it was gorgeous. The moment- Yes, it was. If you watched it, the moment could not have eluded you. You were like, holy shit. Love her, hate her, don't like her. No, whatever. It doesn't matter. You can understand the human component of this. It was just unbelievable. I went on a Reddit, a version of Reddit afterwards, a couple of hours after this happened, live.

A version of Reddit? You mean Reddit or a thread on Reddit?

No, it's not Reddit, but it's like a Reddit, but it's in Europe. I don't want to give the name because... Whatever. Anyway, there were people, hundreds and hundreds of people who had been there, who had saw it live from some portion. There were speakers all over the city, and she was singing it, and they had video screens of places. Everyone, to a person, said that they were with a crowd, in a crowd, by a crowd, for a crowd, with a crowd, whatever it was. Everybody in the entire city was crying. It was crying. It was crying because it was like, wow, that's amazing. That's pretty fucking cool. Then the fireworks go off and the fucking Eiffel Tower lights up. I don't care what you think about the Olympics. That Olympic opening ceremony was probably the most entertaining thing I've seen in a long time. I can only hope, now I know we're going to LA in 2028, and I'm sure we're going to take a shit on the bed, but I can only hope that they get as bitch at crazy as- Yes. Out of the box, as incredible.

Do something different. Make it your own.

Absolutely, Chrissy.

What are they going to do? Hollywood, something with old Hollywood and the Hollywood sign, and maybe just different things that are iconic to LA. Godzilla.

I want Godzilla to come out of the fucking ocean and crush Santa Monica and walk into the Olympic Stadium and take his breath and go, ha.

And light the torch.

And light the torch. That's what I want. Nothing less will do. You have to top yourself. Listen, we all watched China do the opening ceremonies in 2008 or whenever that was. Everyone was like, holy shit, that's incredible. And then 2012, I don't know who it was. Who was it in 2012? Who cares? Don't remember. And then Tokyo. Cool.

Wasn't it like Brazil?

Was it Brazil? Was it the Games in Rio? The Rio. Was it 2016?

It might have been 2016.

I don't remember who 2012 was. The Games in Rio. Okay, cool dude.

Cool, bro. They also had trouble with the pollution in the water. Remember that year?

Yeah. Why does the Olympics always go places where it's going to kill the athletes? But I mean, if you haven't seen this opening ceremony, it's on your DVR because every major... It's on your DVR, it's online, wherever it is. Every major cable carrier is just doing nothing but playing the Olympics right now. You have to have it DVRed somewhere. Even if you didn't purposely DVR it, they DVRed it for you. You have to It's well worth the watch. I'm telling you right now. If you understand a bit of it, please explain it to me. I'd be happy to listen because I didn't understand half of it, but I loved it. The whole family was watching it. We were all having a good time.

Jeff and I were watching it. We loved it, too. I was like, Oh, my God, this is incredible. We have a very dear friend that was there. He was there. It happened to work out for business that he was going to be there, and he was there.

Happened to work out for business. What a lucky I know. Nothing ever works out for business for me.

He travels to Europe a lot.

All right, let's do this. Let's take a break, and we'll come back, and maybe we'll talk more Olympics. Maybe we won't. You'll have to see when we get back. Hi.

Anyway, no, you're not dreaming. And yes, this is a new promo. See? I made you wait. And now look how happy you are. I know. I know you're smiling. Anyway, since we're here, why don't you just hop on over Instagram and give us a follow at the Commercial Commercial Break. Seriously, please. It's getting hard for me to listen to Brian and Christie beg. So just follow us on Instagram. Again, that's @thecommercialbreak. You can also follow us on TikTok @tcbpodcast. And of course, you know where to go for all things T-C-B That is tcbpodcast. Com, baby. And of course, you can always text us or call us and leave us a voicemail at 212-433-3-t-c-b. Yep, that phone number is no longer new, but it is still around. Sound, and that's a win. 212-433-3tcv. Love you. Bye.

Hey, I'm Rhett. And I'm Link. Maybe you know us from our daily YouTube show, Good Myth Morning. But this is a little trailer for our podcast, Ear Biscuits, where two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time. And nothing is off limits. We talk about our sex lives, our mental health journeys, but we try to never take ourselves too seriously. So we invite you to not do the or to do the same. We invite you to listen. Follow and listen to Ear Biscuits. Now for free on the Odyssey app and everywhere you get your podcasts. Yeah, exciting stuff at the Olympic. Do you sleep in on cardboard boxes? Did you hear that one?

Yeah, well, I don't think it's cardboard boxes.

Oh, no, it's cardboard.

No, it's like some recyclable material that then they're going to use afterwards. Cardboard, recycled material.

Listen, I'm not saying it's not comfortable. I don't know. I mean, a bed Bed frame is a bed frame. It doesn't matter what it's made out of. None of them are going to be comfortable. You're not sleeping on the bed frame. If you are, then you're Brian Green in the 20s.

That was the porch.

The porch was the hard, cold cement floor. Rain, sun, or shine, I was out on that thing, sleeping in a sleeping bag. That was an experience I'll never forget for sure. Yeah, I get it. The jail bed was more comfortable than that. I was watching some of the... Simone Biles, she was Somebody in the girls gymnastics team was giving a tour of their room, and they were hitting the cardboard with their knuckles. I was like, wow. But it's good because then they can throw them away and reuse them. Then they have those thousands and thousands of apartments that hopefully they'll use for somewhat affordable housing. They are. They're going to. Although I'm not sure those words affordable housing in Paris go hand in hand. But what an experience. It must just be an experience to be there, to be there and to be an athlete. Astrid asked a good question. She was We were watching swimming. There was a person, Fink, who won a silver medal in his... I forgot what it was, the 100-meter breast stroke. The breast stroke, yeah. It was the only thing he'd qualified for. He had a day job, and they were showing this little vignette where he has a day job, and then he goes swimming class, and he comes back, and he trains.

Was he the one, too, that was about to have a baby?

He just got married. Okay. Caleb Dressel, I think, just had a baby. Okay. That's the one I was watching last night. Just had a baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was the one where Snoop Dogg and his wife were hanging out, high-fiving each other. That was a sweet story. But anyway, so this faint guy, he's got a real job. He's got a day job. Then he goes and he trains, and he comes back, and he says he's a little bit of a machine. It's unbelievable. I can't do one thing really well, let alone three things really well.

I trained for the Olympics and have a job and be married.

I could only dream. I could only dream to do anything. I mean, no way. So Astrid goes, Do you think if he only has one event that he's doing, what happens? He just goes home after that? I'm like, Well, I guess that's his personal choice. But the bed is there. He's already got a bed at the Olympic Village. It's not like they swap them out. You got a bed, you got a bed. I don't think he has to go home. I think if he's there, he's there. He can go to the events and hang out and enjoy the experience. That's part of being an Olympian is you get to go there and hang out. Enjoy the food.

Yeah, that's why you're there when you're- Apparently, the food's really good there.

Oh, my God. Is it delicious? Let me tell you something, and I know I'm going to sound so fucking American right now that it's not even funny. But Astrid and I have spent some time in Paris. The first time that we went to Paris, I already told the story about how we went from one hotel, we had to switch to another hotel, the whole nine yards. When we went to this second hotel, which is absolutely stunning, right down the street from the Ark, one night we were like, Okay, bed picnic. Bed picnic, let's order some room service, hang out.

I love a good bed picnic.

Make love, watch a movie, watch some TV, whatever's on. Let's just stay in. It was raining, it was a little chilly. I ordered a cheeseburger because I'm a fucking American and I got to order the cheeseburger, right? Lay cheesebaget. I ordered that cheeseburger because- Royal with cheese? I wish. It was called Royal with Cheese because that would be a cooler story, but it was just like La Chees baguette or whatever.

The fromage.

It was... Yeah, corn fromage. It was fucking fantastic. I'm sure it was. It was delicious. Everything that we had in Paris was delicious, compared to Switzerland, where everything that we had in Switzerland was stinky cheese. That's all it was. Everything was stinky cheese. We did have some chocolate. It was pretty good. I don't even have to say that. But yeah, it's got to be an experience to be there. I mean, I'm never going to get there. I wish.

Yeah, I would stay and just check out other events, check out the city, do the whole thing. I mean, mingle in with Snoop.

You're so fascinated by Snoop. I wonder where he's getting his weed in Paris because I don't think it's legal there. You think they just drive him down from Amsterdam for him? Yeah.

Yeah, he's got a business. He has a problem.

You can't smoke that much weed and then just all of a sudden stop smoking weed and feel okay to do a broadcast. Do you know what I'm saying?

You might be doing the gummies, the edibles.

That's what I'd be doing, is the gummies, the edibles. This is no drama. But they are a little bit less predictable, however. I just do have to say that. But he has his own weed company, doesn't he? Yeah, he does. He probably knows how to make it. Yeah, he probably does. He was just take them. Actually, I got to imagine that any security staff ever that gets lucky enough to pack down Snoop is probably already knows, I'm going to let this guy go.

They're probably disappointed if they don't find something. Right, exactly.

They're probably like, I'm whatever.

I can't wait to see this.

I'm not going to arrest Snoop on weed charges. No.

On weed charges? No, it's part of him.

Yeah, that'd be the most uncool thing I've done in my entire life, was to arrest Snoop on weed charges.

I think he just has immunity.

You know what I mean? Like, worldwide immunity from weed charges.

International immunity.

What are you going to do? Yeah, I know.

It's who it is.

Who was there? It was somebody. Was it Doja Cat or somebody who got arrested in, I want to say Sweden or something because there was weed on Maybe it was her.

I love her.

Do you remember that? You remember that story? And she got arrested and they let her go so she could do her concert or something, which was cool. Hey, cool. I'm just going to let you go. Why are you going to be bugging?

Yeah, that wouldn't happen to us. We got to go. We got to go to the commercial break.

No. What's that? Commercial break. What's that? Do you mean this day is the commercial break or a commercial break? I don't understand. No, we all have a show called The Commercial Break. You haven't heard of the Underrest. You're underresting. Anyway, Olympics are exciting. I like it.

They are. They're very exciting.

And the good news is, no matter what time of day or night, there's always something on. They're either doing the replay or it's starting over. I think that's the good news about having European Olympics is that it's on 24 hours a day. Because if it's not live, they're doing the replay or the summation. I recorded it. I was like, record, record the Olympics just on BBC or whatever. Record it. Yesterday, my son and I are flipping through to see what we're going to watch. The Olympic coverage was 12 hours and 42 minutes. That's the recording that I had, 12 hours and 42 minutes.

Yeah, it just keeps going. I think I caught some archery, too, the other day, which is cool. I used to love archery. I used to do that when I was at camp as a kid, and I loved archery. Really? Yeah.

Let's see, what are some of the ones that I've been watching that are fake? I like that, kayaking. I think kayaking is a lot of fun.

I missed that, but I love to kayak in general. Yeah.

Beach Volleyball is cool. I like to watch Beach Volleyball. I'm getting the handball. Water Polo.

The Water Polo. That has got to be so hard. It has got to be. I mean, you are treading water the whole time. And not only are you just treading water, it's not like you're That's all you're doing. You're actually- You're popping yourself up. Exerting yourself to play a sport in the water while you're treading water. It's got to be hard.

So when I went to my dad's Lakehouse, they have these people that live across the cove from them. So they live like a big lake, but then they live on this cove. It's a little outlet, and it's not very big. Right across, dock to dock, the dock across and the house across, they were in the water one day with us, and they had a son, excuse me, who was 18 years old, and he had been invited to one of these hancy-pancy, super on your way to the Olympics water polo camps. He had really been into it for the last couple of years. He'd done it. The guy was explaining to me that they'll do a day of water polo practice, and then they'll take a day off. But in that day for conditioning, they'll do 60, 90, or 120 minutes of treading fucking water. Just treading. Treading fucking water, but not regular treading. Not like you're treading just trying to keep your head above trying to keep your nipples above water. Right. Yeah. Which is insane to me.

Yes, very active treading.

I will be on an innertube or have a life jacket on and last my children not to grab onto me so that they don't take me down. I know. I don't care. I don't care if you're in trouble. Don't grab onto me. Swim to the dock. Go there. What are you doing? I can barely keep myself above water. Imagine trying to keep your nipples above water for hours at a time. It's hard. It's got to be incredibly tough. A difference. Yeah, why they're Olympians and we're not.

I guess this is true.

But I did notice about the water. Water polo, at least for the female version, is a very cheeky sport. I guess for the guy's version, too, they wear very small swimsuits, right? It's a very cheeky sport. There's a lot of ass hanging out. Fine, whatever. It's whatever you're comfortable with. I noticed last Olympics, they had the underwater cam.

I mean, if you have an athletic ass like that, you're comfortable, period.

Yeah. If you're going to the Olympics, if your body is attuned enough to go to Olympics, it doesn't matter. Big, small, flat, bumpy, bruisey, it doesn't matter. Show your ass. Why wouldn't you want to?

You got to.

This is why God made these people so lovely and strong and 19 and fit and firm and all that other stuff, and sometimes not firm and whatever, whatever it is, all different body types, especially in water polo and stuff, all different body types. But if you're a fucking Olympian, Because your body is attuned enough to swim with your tits above the water for an hour and 20 minutes, then you should be showing your ass all day long. We should all be looking at it and marveling at what God gave you, marveling at what the universe gave you. That goddamn ass is beautiful. Let it show. Yes. What I noticed last time we did the Summer Olympics was they had the underwater camp for the Olympics. Oh, you talked about that. Treading water and fighting and pulling each other underwater and stuff, which is part of the game. This time, no underwater camp.

Because I think in the Tokyo Olympics, there were quite a few nip slips underwater, like when the girls grab on their bathing suits and stuff like that. I wouldn't want it to be filmed underwater. Not when you're having that much activity and things going on. Of course, you want to fix yourself. You don't have to be worried about the camera that's snaking up to your ass in the back. Yeah, exactly.

I don't want to be filmed underwater either.

No. I don't know if that's the best look.

My bony little legs with my small, shriveled-up dick. I don't want that. I just don't want that. But what this camerman, they have a job to do, and their job is to get in the faces of the Olympians, get in the faces and the butts and the bodies. That's what they're supposed to do. To some degree, the Greeks used to do this naked. They used to do Olympics naked to show the world what an Olympian looked like, what the most beautiful, rock-hard, able-bodied people in the world could do. There was a time, a short period of time, but a time when the Greeks would do the Olympics naked. Not anymore, to my chagrin, but not anymore. These camermen are supposed to get up in these grills and in these asses and all this other stuff. But I have to say, sometimes it's a little uncomfortable. I feel uncomfortable for the people that are being filmed, especially the gymnastics. They get right in their fucking face. I was watching the girls' gymnastics last night, Esther and I were. This is a poor little girl. I don't know where she's from. France, I think. She's a French girl, and she has a terrible routine.

I mean, she falls off the uneven She tries to get back up. She falls again. She's not doing very well. She's in front of her home crowd who's really rooting for her. Then the cameraman, she goes over to the side to sit down on chain to take off her tape or whatever. The cameraman is one and a half fucking inches from her face, and she's got tears streaming down her face. I know. I'm like, I felt uncomfortable. I wanted to scream to that guy, Leave her alone. Just back up a little bit. Like, tape her from 10 feet away on the side where it's obvious you're taping, but not too obvious to the rest of us. It feels It's like we're peaking in and not prying on somebody. I feel like those camera guys should learn a little personal space sometimes. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, I guess they're being directed. Yeah.

I got a camera people coming for our live shows, by the way, and I told them. I said, Get in our faces. Not in 4K, though. 2k. Can we do 2K? You have 1K.

Blurred.

Blurred. All right. By the way, speaking of the live shows, I thought it would take time to talk about this now that it's official and that we know it. Christie and I are going to do our first two, our first two live shows in Florida, as we had discussed a couple of weeks ago, but it took a sideways turn there for a second. We're going to be in Orlando on the 25th at the Funny Bone in Orlando, in downtown Orlando. If you want tickets, I'll tell you how to get them in the next couple of days. Pay attention. Go to our website or our Instagram. Both of those places will be making those announcements and giving you the link to go buy tickets. Then we're going to be in Miami, north of Miami.

We're going to Miami first.

Yeah, on the 24th, Dania Point, which is just south of the Fort Lauderdale Airport and just north of Miami. It's about 20 minutes north of Miami. We're calling it Miami, even though it's not technically Miami, it's Miami.

It's the greater area.

Dania Point Improv on the 24th. So the 24th and the 25th, Miami and then Orlando. We would absolutely love to see you. If you're going to be there, like so many of you have told us you're going to be, please let us know so at least we can say hello. Who knows? Maybe we'll bring some schwag or send some schwag More likely we'll send swag to you because I don't want to carry 17 different bags. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah, I'm not interested in that. I thought about it. Okay, let's bring some merch that we can sell because Astrid is cooking up some awesome merch. But then I'm like, Do I want to bring seven boxes of T-shirts because I'm not going to worry about size Or just bring one size, like X large, and we can just give everybody really big T-shirts.

No, we need to think about that because I like the idea of the QR code. That's what we're going to do. Yeah. Where then you can scan your phone, put your information in, and we'll send it to you.

We're going to have a QR code, and then I'm going to have it on my... I'm going to wear a T-shirt with the QR code so that if you want to buy merch, just come up during the middle of the show and I'll go like this. I'll throw my arms back and go, When all four of you show up to Dania Point in Orlando. We absolutely would love to see you. So if you're going to be there, let us know. 212-433-3tcb. All right, let's take another short break and we'll be back.

What's up, haters? Now, let's get down to business. If you've got something to say, say it to our faces. And by that, I mean, text us or call us at 212-433-3TCB. That's 212-433-3822. You can and should also find us on Instagram at the Commercial Break and on TikTok at TCB Podcast, unless you want to fight me, in which case, don't. And if you're just desperate to see our shining faces in person, keep your ears filled for ticketing information about TCB Live. As always, don't forget that you can find everything you could possibly need to find on our beautiful website, tcbpodcast. Com. Bye.

Okay, we're back here. Hey, don't miss tomorrow's episode because we have two very special guests, I think, are they going to be calling in tomorrow?

I'll try not to.

Well, I know you won't miss it. I hope you don't miss it anyway. I hope you don't. But you, the listeners out there, don't miss tomorrow's episode. Two very special guests. It's going to be a very special episode of The Commercial Re. Can't believe we're getting these two people to call in, but you'll know it when you hear it, it's going to be quite unbelievable, Chrissy. We usually don't talk about politics, but this time we're going to make the exception. We're going to have two.

Yeah, that's right. We're going to test the waters.

We're going to test the waters and see how it goes. That's the way they're people. Yes, most certainly. Hey, have you... There's all these people on the internet, like we've been talking about with a lot of our guests, forever and ever, who are trying to find their fan base online. And so they'll release music, they'll do comedy bits, they'll sometimes showcase acting, painting, whatever it is. If you do it, it's likely somebody else out there wants to see it, just like the commercial break. We didn't know it would only be 20 people, but we're here and we're doing it. For the love of the game. I didn't say you'd find a large audience. I said you'd find an audience. But there are so people out there that are now expressing themselves artistically, cutting out the middleman. You don't need a record contract. You don't need to be with one of the big art galleries. You don't need to go the traditional dance school route to do dancing, whatever, however that handback I don't even understand how that happens, but however that happens, you can just go straight to the people. I can appreciate this. Honestly, I ain't got no hate in the game for somebody that is expressing themselves directly into the camera and then hoping or then trying to find their own audience.

There is a guy, quite frankly, who's been taking the Instagram by storm, and I just I'm fallen in love with the dude. He's a musician. His name is Kevin Tierney, and he's writing songs that, quite frankly, they hit right in the gut, Chrissy. They hit right in the gut. But he's one of those guys... There are two types of songwriters out there, in my opinion. One that is like a storyteller. They tell you a story, you understand it pretty earnestly. It's It's very congruent. It's unlike the opening ceremonies. It's very congruent. You can understand it because the words are being told to you like a story. Then there are people who are a little bit more elusive about their lyrics. I would give you an example, Eddie Vedder, who just says random words, and then you hope you can get something meaning out of it.

You don't even know if you're understanding the words correctly. But it sounds good.

All right, you get it, all right? Yeah. Kevin, I'm going to let you decide which version this musician is, Kevin Tierney on Instagram. I'm going to play a little bit of his music here. I'm going to do it through You know what I'm going to do? I'm actually going to play it through the board. How's that, Chrissy? Do it. I'm going to go crazy this time. They're crazy. I'm going to hope that my mom doesn't call for the 55th time today while we're doing this. My mom, I swear, she's on a roll. Sometimes moms call you incessantly in the hopes that they can get a hold of you. I know. I remember. Because they know that if they call you enough, it's likely you're going to answer thinking there's some emergency. Then it's emergency. Then you go, Hi, honey.

What's wrong? Is everything okay?

How's your day? You didn't answer me. What's going on? Nothing. You're the one who's calling me 30 times. What do you mean, what's going on? All right, let's listen to Kevin here. Let me turn this down a little bit so it's not too loud. There we go. Let's listen to Kevin. Take a listen to his songs. I I think you're really going to enjoy this. I like the ethereal.

It is very ethereal. It's very ethereal.

Goodbye. Goodbye.

Going through it all the time makes the light out of ♪ Can't ever let you go. ♪ This is not how it should end for you. ♪ You know it's never too late for you to believe. ♪ Open your life to me. ♪ Don't be scared to this. ♪ I am right by your side. ♪ I won't You give up. No need to be anybody by you. You're everything you need to be. This is your life.

Oops, missed that note.

Okay, so as you can tell, Kevin's pretty on the nose here. He wants to make sure that you understand what he's talking about.

I know, and I can't decide if it's stalkerish or supportive.

Oh, now let Let me show you the Instagram video. That was his Spotify song. Now, let me show you his Instagram video, and I'm pretty sure you'll come to this conclusion right away. I'll let Christie look at it in the studio.

We were high school sweetheart, saying you couldn't stay because you had to move away, so we tried long distance.

But one day, you texted me to say that you I'm going to break up.

I S Y N. You said to me that you're on the- I S Y N.

You said to me, What did she say?

I don't know because he doesn't have that one. Does he have that one on... Let's see if I can get Kevin's full release schedule here.

I mean, he's got a whole look going on, too. He's on a bridge.

He's on a bridge, and then he uses hand motions. I'm throwing you off of the bridge. I really I hope you drive.

No one breaks up with me.

No one ever breaks up with me except for you because you're my only girlfriend ever. I went to McDonald's today, drove through the drove through an order number two. I asked for extra barbecue sauce, but the lady forgot to put it in. So I went around again. I turned down the music in case you couldn't hear me.

He's just singing his life.

Oh, he does have this one on. Okay, here we go.

Far, far, far, far, far, We were high school sweethearts. Say you couldn't stay because you had to move away, so be tried.

I mean, he couldn't fit more words in there if he... You had to move away. Hey, by the way, Kevin, I love it, brother. I love it. You're getting tens of thousands of views and tens of thousands of loves and tens of thousands of jokes, but you keep doing you, bro. It's funny. It's good. It doesn't matter why people like it. People like it. It's earwig, bro.

But one day you texted me to say that you want to break, wake up. I asked, Y-N, you said to me that you I thought there was going to be some big reveal.

She found somebody else. Yeah, the big reveal was like, I didn't like you. In a new town. As happened.

What happens after that? I wanted to know.

From a hands-open surrender to you anymore. I am finally feeling free. I will be the Well, good.

He turned a negative into a positive, but it sounds a little like, whatever.

Yeah, whatever.

Now I'm free.

He said, I'm no longer going to surrender to you. Well, I think she made that clear. I don't think she wanted you to surrender to her anymore. No. Oh, poor Kevin.

Kevin.

I guarantee, Kevin. I guarantee. Let me give you a little bright side here. This may not be the world's best song that's ever been written about love. The lyrics might be a little bit too on the nose. You might want to help get a songwriter involved to help you truncate, or your style will evolve over time. You keep trying, you keep going at it. I can't say it's the worst song in the world either. I mean, we've certainly heard trashier shit on this show. But I'll tell you this, it doesn't matter if she broke up with you, bro. Now you're an Instagram sinfluencer. You're out there.

Yeah, he showed her.

You showed her. When she comes running back, you say, Fuck to the no, and you just wait for someone to pop into those DMs because they will. They're going to drop that. I'm sure they are. Someone's drop that DM, bro. The two of you are going to run. Then you're going to have another love song to make. I met this girl on DM and she texted me. Hello, my name is Anna Lee. We went out for coffee one day, but my mom had to drop me off because my car was in the shop getting a oil change. Yeah.

Yeah, you keep doing you, Kev.

Kev, you keep doing you, bro. Christie's got great advice for you. You keep doing you, and you're welcome on the show anytime. I don't really mean that, but if you want to have my people, contact your people.

Oh, you find so much on.

Oh, God, I love it. I found Strider doing the voice dives, the throat dives, the throat dives. Kevin Tierney on fire out there. I mean, he's got like 100,000 likes on one of his posts.

It resonated.

The comment section, not so hot. But if I was him, I just look at those likes and keep running.

Yeah, don't look at the comments.

Yeah, it doesn't seem like he's responding to anybody, so that's good news. But people are funny. I do have to say, some people are really good at commenting.

Some people are really good.

Really good at commenting. They do a great, great job. I do love it. All right. So, hey, you must tune in tomorrow. I'm telling you what, you're not going to want to miss this one. Tune in tomorrow. All right, Christie and I, Dania Point on the 24th. Orlando on the 25th. Tickets available soon. We'll let you know. Go to the website. Keep an eye on that website, tcbpodcast. Com. All the audio, all the video, links to buy your tickets to our live shows. You get your free sticker there. Contact us. Drop us a line if you want to get your free sticker by hitting the drop-down menu. I want my free sticker. It's pretty straightforward. It's a Kevin Tierney Lyric. I want my free sticker. Give us your add.

I want my free sticker right now.

I want my free sticker right now. So please send to me. Here's my address in North Virginia. Zip code 77073. All right. And we would love to hear from you. 212-433-3tcb. That's 212-433-3822. For those of you texting us, comments, questions, concerns, content ideas, we take them all. We'd love to hear from you. You can leave a voicemail or a text message, actually. At the Commercial Break on Instagram, we'll also drop a link there or tell you how to get tickets on the Instagram. So if you don't follow us, please do. And youtube. Com/thecommercialbreak. The Commercial Break for all of our interviews, selected clips, and special episodes. There you go. What else do I have to say? Now, listen, Christie suggested we rose battle. I want to hear from you. Do you want us to rose battle? Now I'm calling the audience into it, Christie. I'm throwing you to the map. I'm dragging you out there one way or the other. Thanks so much to Brian Moses, our guest this week. We'll get back to you on the rose battle. Until next time. Christie, that's all I can do for today.

I think so.

But I love you. I love you. Best to you. I'm best to you. And best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Christie and I always say, we do say and we must say goodbye.

I get ass.