Well, look, can we go in there in case they got something Disney? It's a chemist. Yeah, but they might have some. We need the pooh panda pads. Come on. Why do I like Disney so much? Probably because I'm quite thick on this episode of the commercial break.

We're really going full boomer in this episode.

Yeah, I think we've been going full boomer for a long time.

Wait, we need to put the weather in there somewhere.

Weather to grocery stores. But everybody has to go to a grocery store.

Medical things coming up next.

Coming up next, check your process. Look out for pre menopause, vasectomy. Vasectomy, weather, Kroger. It's all here for you if you're 55 and over. Don't worry about it. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah. Catching kittens. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is the beanie to my baby, Kristen. Joy. Only best to you, Chris. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Chrissy and I were just thinking about all the ways we could ever make money on this show, potentially, if we ever actually put in any work and effort into this show. And one of the things we're talking about is, like, what if we sent out an ad free version of the show that people could listen to if they wanted to? And then we thought, eh, you know, who's gonna pay for, like, you know, so many people are have subscriptions. Subscriptions to everything in the world. Would they really pay for a subscription free version of this fucking podcast? I mean, there's a lot shows, you know, conan, smart list, you know, Joe Rogan you had to pay for on Spotify at one point.

Like, there's a lot of people and.

True crime, if you want to know what happens all at once, NPR, if.

You'Re actually interested in facts and figures, you know, shit like that. I don't know, something, you know, ABC News, I'm not sure, but whatever. And so we, you know, like most ideas, they come and then they go very quickly because we think. Because we don't think very highly of ourselves. And then, so we were just talking about advertisements in the show, and, you know, you may have noticed or you may not have noticed because you're probably gone from the show, right?

We ran you off. We ran you off last summer.

Last summer when we decided to put 20 ads show. I don't know what I was thinking. Money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money.

I didn't even realize this. I told Brian I was listening to his show the other day, and they had, like, you know, five ads in one break. And I thought, okay, that's a much. Yeah, I can do three.

But 25 ads in a show is probably not best practice. But there really isn't a lot of, like. There isn't a lot of data on best practices around ads. Some audiences are more tolerant than others. But I have to agree. I do. I guess, you know, I bow to the point that maybe at one point we were putting too many ads in.

This show because we were on a new network now.

Yeah, we're on a new network.

They were like.

And they said, odyssey came to us and was like, some of those, like, waiting through 26 minutes of ads four minutes after the show starts. Probably not best practice.

God, was this back still when you were doing that long intro, too? Yes, it was amazing.

Well, it's amazing we have any listeners now. I mean, for God's sakes, we did a six and a half minute intro to the show followed directly by a six ad break. We go another three minutes, another four ads, another seven minutes, another five ads. I mean, it was stupid, you know? Listen, I don't know what I was thinking. I guess I wasn't thinking.

You were thinking about Spain for a month.

Well, I got to Spain for a month and I wish I could take it all back now. I'd be like, Spain for a long weekend, huh? What do you think? Have all your family members gather at the airport. We'll fly in on Ryanair and we'll fly out. We'll have dinner at the airport cafe and we'll fly out. What do you think? How does that hit you? Because it hits me right in the pocketbook. I might actually have some money left. Yeah, the summer. Yeah, you know, whatever. Anyway, summer of love was the summer of love. And then the winter of our discontent. The very big winter of our high low lows. High highs, low lows. Man, did we. I don't want to get into the details, but, man, did we have a lot of. We had to get over a lot of things in the winter. Finally off into the spring, probably into the summer. So, you know, it is what it is. It is what it is. You live, you learn, you make mistakes. You do. You say, hey, you know, maybe I shouldn't have done business with those people. I'm sorry. Maybe those people didn't do so great for you.

They weren't the right people to do business with, but, you know, onward and upward and on board. But I do like the balanced approach now to the advertisements. I think two is probably much better. There's two ads in each break, and then sometimes there's a third. But it's like a promo. It's a promo. Right. For another podcast that we enjoy, that we want people to hear about. So. And that runs only on occasion. Like, it doesn't run every single download, but it runs on occasion. So technically, theoretically, you should only hear about four minutes of ads for about an hour to an hour and 15 minutes worth of content, which I think is. Is reasonable.

Yeah.

Right? Yeah, you get the little pre rolls. You know, I used to. I haven't listened to Joe Rogan's podcast previous to Spotify. I wasn't consuming his audio version, but I do remember listening to an episode, like one time listening to episode. We first got into podcasting because I was like, okay, if he's the biggest and the best, let's see what he's got going on, and then maybe we can take some ideas from there. I decided not to take any ideas from him. But, you know, I like Joe. I think he's fine. I think he's great for the business and seems like a really pleasant human being in general. But I listened to one of his episodes previous to the Spotify deal, and he had a shit ton of ads before the show would start. He would have, like, four, five, six minutes of ads right at the beginning of the show. Now, granted, Joe does a four hour show however many times a week, like, he has so much more content than we do. He's also so much better at doing.

This than we are and paid so much more.

Paid so much more than we are. But he deserves it. Whatever. 38 million human beings listen to him every month. He's swinging a big stick. So I was listening to it, and so I guess that's where kind of, I thought, well, is it inappropriate? What is the right balance? What is the right mix?

And then I see, like, Joe's doing it.

Joe's got six. Well, the difference between Joe and the commercial break is people actually wanted to be on his show. We just had random ads running through our show.

They requested California highway Patrol.

Yeah, California highway patrol and Kroger Thanksgiving ads. All through Christmas, all through the summer. Thanksgiving ads. Get your turkey at Kroger. I love Kroger, by the way. Love shopping at a kroger. You know what? This is a good point. Let's get off the podcast in the weeds bullshit. But I just want to say this. But then I know some shows that, like, have a strict one ad per break, but then they'll put in like five or six breaks in the course of an hour. So they chop it up much more. I prefer to have two breaks in the content. Like there's a couple ads before the show, two breaks in the content, two or three minutes of ads. I think that's a good balance.

I agree, cuz yeah. I don't like it when I'm listening to something. It gets chopped up too much.

Yeah.

There's one chance I'm like an ad again.

I know I'm not going to name the show, but hour and a half average content, five to seven individual breaks of one or two ads per break. I mean, it is ridiculous. And on top of that, they promote their own like coaching and you know, seminars and wellbeing camps and all this other stuff. It is insane. It's basically an hour and a half of content where 42 minutes of it is commercials. It's crazy. And that I won't. That I know better than to do.

Yeah.

So this episode brought to you by.

Kroger and Brian and I's new coaching service.

Yeah, our new coaching service. You want to come to our wellness retreat? Meet us in Spain for 2 hours. Thursday, August 4.

And then you're on your own.

Yeah. Arrow Puerto cafe. Yeah. Then you're on your own. Good luck to you. Enjoy the rest of Spain. If you have money, spend a month there. So I wanted to share that, you know, I don't know which pub. There's lots of grocery stores throughout the country and I've been to. You've been. Everyone's been to a grocery store and I need to give you details on a grocery store. You know what it is?

This is how they work.

Yeah.

You pull up.

What is your favorite. Yeah. You pull up, you walk in all these materials right in front of you, of my face that I can have for money. That's how it works. Money, money. What is your favorite grocery store?

I'll tell you my favorite grocery store. And that is a grocery store that's in the Carolinas and it's called Lowe's. It is amazing.

Amazing.

It's the best grocery store in the world.

It is the most amazing grocery store. Yes, I do.

I so wish we had any.

Oh my God.

Every time I go up and visit my nephews, I'm up there in Greenville, South Carolina, and there's one right down the road, lemons. Sister had introduced me to it. It's so great. You walk in, it's so pleasant. It's kid friendly, yet no, kids are acting crazy. There's a bar.

It is so kid friendly. There's no kids there. That's how kid friendly it is.

Well, they give cookies to the kids at the bakery they have. It's just pleasant. It's so pleasant. Chrissy, it smells good. It looks good. People are so nice. You get your beer and you walk around and do your shopping.

I have never experienced a grocery store in my life. Except for one in Denver that I can't. I fail to remember the name of it, but there was one in. No, not Denver. Indianapolis. It was a grocery store in Indianapolis that was like. Imagine a Lowe's three times the size. Huge, like the size of a super Walmart. But just beautiful. It was in there. Was they? They were actually growing bananas in there.

I think.

It was like. It was unbelievable. There were like strawberries coming out of strawberry plants. Yes, it was crazy. But this Lowe's, I am telling you what. There's one in Clemens, North Carolina, where Astrid and I first physically met each other. At my aunt in law's. No, we didn't meet. Anna Lowe's. Yes, meet me at Lowe's, hon.

Let's grab a glass of wine.

And for our first date, it's kid friendly. They have alcohol and the butcher will cut it any way you want it. Any way you want it. That's the way I cut it. Any way you need it. These people, that grocery store. I actually approached a manager at the Clemens, North Carolina, Lowe's. And I said, why and how can I help you? Get down to Atlanta, Georgia. I was in the real estate business at the time and there was a mixed use project that was going on here in Atlanta that I was helping to finance. And I said, listen, I could probably talk to these people about getting you a lease because they had a grocery store available space and it hadn't been built yet. And they were like, yeah, actually, the owners of this business, they are pretty hell bent on keeping it under control. They don't want crazy expansion. They want quality. Right?

Yeah.

And you could tell because the second you went into the grocery store, you're right. There is a big, beautiful bar. There are pastries. There are fresh breads.

The each section is just its own adventure.

It's its own adventure.

It is the bread section, the cheese section, the meat section, the everything. The bakery, the bar. It's all exquisite.

You ask Astrid about love and what you'll hear is that Brian would be missing for hours at a time when we were up at my aunt in law's house, because I would be at Lowe's yeah. Just dicking around.

Fun store to go to. Every time I go to Greenville, I'm like, close.

Time to go.

I've got to pick up one thing. Okay, whatever. I'm gonna go. That would pick up.

Oh, yeah. Astrid and I would be like, we'd get out of the house. We'd say, hey, we're going to Lowe's.

And then we'd be going, the spice.

I didn't go into the spice section.

I was looking at that. I just thought, well, you know.

Well, now you're just being silly.

Normally, at the other grocery stores, it's down an aisle, right? This is not. It is down. It has its own section on the side. Like, it's like spice. And then produce. Let me tell you, it's laid out just amazing.

It is an amazing grocery store. And let me tell you when I officially first felt old in my life, when I came back and told Astrid, I love Lowe's so much. And she thought, it's like when my dad came back from his first Home Depot trip, you know what I'm saying? He found a new place to be in love. He found a new place he could go. A home. A home for my dad away from home. A place where he could go and get away from the children. Somewhere he could waste time and look at screws. This kind of screw and that kind of screw. What kind of screw do I need? Maybe I'll look at multiple screws.

Nuts and bolts.

You know how much time my dad spend in that screw aisle? Hour, days, months. And I used to think, what the fuck? What are we? Why are we. Who needs a screw? Who needs to look at a screw? This. Just buy a screw, right? But now I understand having, you know, twice as many children as my father did. Now I understand. It wasn't about the screws. It was one single place where he could focus on something else except for, you know, mutually assured destruction and how much money he was spending raising his children.

Yes.

And when I came home from that Lowe's and I said, babe, I'm just in love with this Lowe's. I don't even know what to tell you. I can't. I don't want to leave. I don't want to leave. I was like a cigarette smoker when I first met Astrid. And so I just. I would go there. I would buy a pack of cigarettes. I would stand outside in the parking lot. I'd smoke next to the car. I try to leave, but then I go, yeah, you know, I could buy one more thing. I could go back in there one more time. It was like having an affair when I went to the load.

I'm so happy you know this, because I didn't think you were gonna know. And I don't even know how to describe it to somebody.

You can't.

Hasn't been.

If you haven't been to a Lowe's, you can't describe a Lowe's. It's. It's nearly impossible to describe just how happy it makes you. It's like the Disney world of grocery stores. It really is. And I would argue that anybody who is in a grocery store aficionado, which is probably most human beings. Cause we have to go there and do something at some point. If you walk in there and you don't walk out falling in love with this grocery store, I don't know, you're not human. It's like people who say, I don't like music. You don't like music or puppies. It's like you don't like music or public. What the fuck are you? You're not a human. You're an alien. But I will share with you that I've been a publix guy as far as Atlanta is concerned. I've been a public Whole foods. Fine. That's a given. If you can afford it and you can go there, then fine. Whole Foods is great.

We go there to get specialty meats.

That's what we do, too. We go there on occasion to get meat, but we don't buy the regular stuff at Whole Foods. You know what? Since Amazon bought it, it's much cheaper, but it's still not the cheapest around. And Publix actually is even more expensive sometimes than the whole foods.

Yeah.

Now, I'm not knocking Publix, because I am a Publix guy through and through. But I went the other day, and I go to the Kroger and all I'll say this, can you go to the grocery store and get something? And I'd say, yeah, of course. Because I know that means I get to take a trip to Publix, right? Which I really like. And she'll always tell me, go to Kroger. And I don't want to go to Kroger. I want to go to Publix. You're going to see, it's two and a half miles closer, and you're going to save yourself 20%. And I'm like, fuck that. I'm going to Publix. I'm spending. I'm going to spend, and I'm going to tell you what, right now, I walk into that Kroger, and I. I walked out of there for $55, whatever it was. I would have spent $55 at Publix. I would have walked out with one thing of Kramer and a box full of, you know, trash bags. That place is expensive. I walk out of Kroger, I got three bags worth of stuff for $55. It does make a difference. Does make a difference. But there is just something about Kroger which I love.

I love both of them. Publix and Kroger. I'm not saying anything, but there's just something about Kroger that lacks the shine of a public. You know what I'm saying? The sparkly newness of a public.

I think Kroger is like the biggest.

Grocery store in the world. Is it?

At least in the United States. And I was listening to something because there's. Right now there's. People are trying to block a merger, like the government's trying to block a merger with Kroger and Albertsons, I think.

Albertsons, yeah.

And they. This thing I was listening to listed all of the other grocery stores that are actually owned by these two chains and a lot.

Oh, really?

Yeah, it's a lot.

You know. You know what assert started shopping is that Aldi.

Aldi, Aldi. Aldi's a good one.

Yeah. I don't know. I've never been into an Aldi, but I hear that, you know, you have to buy. It's like a Ryanair. You have to buy. If I put a penny in to get the shopping cart.

Well, there's the little.

A little. That's where she's at. The little.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't actually need the penny there for the. For the cart, but you need to, like, bring your own bags and that kind of thing. But I, you know, it's close to you. So I did stop over there, and I thought, this is actually a great grocery store.

Oh, really?

Yeah. I mean, if you. If you just need to run and get some stuff and it's not as expensive, for sure.

Listen, I don't care where you shop. I just got to say one thing. Buy your sweatpants at Walmart. Walmart. Here's another little hint about the commercial break. While we're doing. Well, we were on the topic of inside baseball merge drop coming soon, and I am highly considering buying sweatpants from the same company that makes them for Walmart and putting a big TCB logo on. What do you think?

I think I love it.

Yeah. And then we're gonna put, you know, best mediocre sweatpants and all the podcasting. All right.

I can put 21 epm right at the crotch.

Oh, you know, 21 epm is coming. I just read an article the other day, brand new article, brand new science coming out, supporting our 21 epms. It says you are up to 30% less likely to get prostate cancer if you can get 21 ejaculations per minute. That's right. And I'd like to announce to everybody, I have no sperm. Just. Just sharing that with you. I took you through my adventure with the vasectomy and trying to practice and get my 21 epm in, and I have no sperm. So congratulations to me. Everything's great. There will not be a 31st child. It's over. It's all over. Okay? So don't ask. I got a bunch of medical stories I want to cover today, so let's.

Really go in full boomer on this episode.

Yeah, I think we've been going full boomer for a long time.

We need to put the weather in there somewhere.

I decided to skip away from the.

Weather, so we went grocery store.

So we went grocery store weather to grocery stores. But everybody has to go to a grocery store.

Medical things coming up next.

Coming up next, check your prostate. Look out for pre menopause commercial frank. Vasectomy, vasectomy, weather, Kroger. It's all here for you if you're 55 and over. Don't worry about it. I just thought it was funny. We had Daniel and Henry on this week, and Daniel said, I guess I'm going to do a little reverse and I'll be the boomer on this one and ask you some stupid questions. How do you make money in podcasting? And I thought this was, like, off air.

I thought about that, too, and I.

Was like, did he just kind of infer that we were boomers? Did he? I think he did. He looked at us when he got on. He said, those people are old. But he was great. Daniel Thrash was great. Henry was great. Go check out the show. Dinner with the parents is now on Amazon's freebie. You can get it, so please go check that out. And then all their extra stuff, go follow Daniel Thrasher on YouTube or TikTok or Instagram. He's hard to miss. He's got millions and millions of followers. And then henry hall, of course, coming out with a new album in July. More information in the show notes of that episode. If you haven't listened, please go listen now. Let's take a break. And we'll be back.

What? Oh, hi, it's christina again, here to remind you to go to tcbpodcast.com for all things audio, video, and TCp. Give us a follow on Instagram hecommercial break and on TikTok TCb podcast. And guess what? We have a new phone number. I know what you're thinking, but I promise this is the last TCB phone number you will ever have to remember. So call us and leave us a voicemail or text us at 212433 TCb. Once more for the people in the back. That's 212-4333 TCb. Oh, and check out our YouTube channel@YouTube.com, thecommercialbreak. That's all for now. Let's listen to our sponsors and get back to the show.

I'm Tank sin Atra. And I'm investigator Slater. And together we co host a podcast called Psychopedia, which is a true crime podcast infused with comedy, making it a crimedy. Each week, investigator Slater brings us a wild and thoroughly researched true crime case. I'm here to digest it all and react just like you probably are, right there on the other side of the microphone. Somehow, I've got to present each case.

With the detail and respect it deserves.

While also cracking up at Tank's perfectly timed humor and thought provoking questions. Listen to and follow psychopedia on the free odyssey app or wherever you get your podcasts. I can just hear Christina right now, probably cringing at all of our boomer talk. No, Christina, our editor, of course, our producer here at the commercial break, is most definitely not a boomer. She's much younger than we are.

We're not actual boomers, either.

No, we're not boomers. Geez, we're not that old. I mean, we aren't. Even though we talk about the weather in Kroger, we're not that old. We really aren't. I'm in my mid twenties. I'm younger than Daniel Thrasher. I don't know why he called me a boomer. I'm calling you out, Daniel. So here's what I want to talk about. I want to talk about three very disturbing stories in medicine. Your teeth are beautiful. Do you have veneers?

I do not.

You do not have veneers. Those are like that. You have braces when you were a kid.

I did.

You did. They're beautifully straight. They're really white. They're beautifully straight. Acrid has veneers. I know a lot of people who have veneers. And, you know, it can really make a difference. If you feel like your smile is kefuckta. I can understand how that could knock your self confidence a little bit. So veneers are the hottest, latest, greatest trend. They've been for 5610 years, whatever. And the veneer technology is getting really good. Like, you can now had veneers for a lot less money than you could a decade ago. I think a decade ago was like $1,000 a tooth. Yeah.

They were really expensive.

Yeah. Now it's like $200 a tooth or $250 a tooth. But you must go to a fucking dentist to get this done because they literally shave your teeth down to nubs.

Yes.

And then they stick these veneers in there. Right? That's how they get them on. If you've ever do yourself a favor, if you want to throw up your breakfast or lunch or dinner, whatever you've just eaten, go look at veneer prep videos or veneer prep pictures. You will see just how disturbing a mouth looks before the veneers are implanted. After they're shaved down, before they're implanted. It is highly disturbing. It literally little tiny little nubs for teeth. It's gross. There is a company in Atlanta that has just been called out by a dentist on TikTok, a famous dentist on TikTok, a company that is giving out certificates for quote unquote, veneer technicians. They are training in a two day seminar completely unfamiliar to dentistry, human beings, people who have never worked in the dental industry, they are giving away certificates, certified dental veneer tech to INS. To implant your veneers. Fuck you, blue. Fuck you. Trying to do a show. You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna take this dog and I'm gonna send him to one of these veneer technicians, quote unquote. And I'm gonna have them shave off her throat. That's what I'm gonna do.

Can you implant some veneers in her throat?

Yeah. That's crazy.

Isn't that insane?

With a certificate?

Yeah.

You can't just get certified as a veneer tech.

I knew women and a man who went to, like, beauty school for nails and hair and stuff like that.

Yes.

And they spend months, months at that beauty school. Of course, months before they got a certificate, they could go out into the world and do people's hair and do people's nails. And now you're giving away veneer technician certificates as if that's even a fucking thing. It costs $6,000. They're walking into class, and two days later, they come out with the quote unquote knowledge to put veneers on your fucking mouth. This is insane.

Were they supposed to then take that to, like, a dentist and say, here, I can put veneers on? Or they were just gonna do it.

Out of their house? No, they were doing it out of their house. They were doing it in, like, you know, renting office type places, like, you know, communal offices. Literally, I don't even know if they're giving Novocaine or they're giving gas. What are they doing? I mean, you know, lack of a horror movie. This is a horror movie. And the worst part about it is not only are they giving away these certificates, basically giving them away, because if you pay them $6,000, there's no way you're not getting a certificate. Do you know what I'm saying?

Yeah.

I'm gonna fail you out of the class. Okay. You're not that good at it, but I guess go fuck with people's mouths, I think. Come on. The worst part is they're actually technicians out there who are promoting themselves on social media. Certified veneer tech. What the fuck is that?

Oh, God.

Maybe I could just make shit up. I have made shit up. Podcast class. Come to my podcast class and launch your podcast in three days. I stopped doing that. You want to know why? Because it didn't work. I didn't teach people shit. I mean, I taught them. They didn't do anything with it, but whatever. I'm not killing anybody talking on a microphone. Anybody can do it. You're not hurting anybody.

Yeah.

This is insane, guys. This is insane. And should. Should you come across a certified veneer tech, you should report them to the local dentistry authority. I don't even know who that is, but somebody needs to be called out on this. How can you go and just tell people? Just, you know.

No. Well, that's done a lot in the medical field. There's a whole gray line of where people want to save money, and so they go get stuff done, but by people that are not fully trained, I think a lot. There was something that was just going on, too, with, like, the whole Botox. Did you read about that?

No.

Botox is actually. It was actually poisoning people. I mean, it is poison to begin with.

Poison.

But they were getting these, you know, at home treatment type things like Botox party or whatever, and that was dangerous.

You cannot take botulism and anthrax and just.

Or implants like those bbls that I've heard about. Horrible stories of those.

I had a friend of a friend and I read about this on Facebook, a friend of a friend goes down to, I want to say Costa Rica. They went down to Costa Rica to get a butt lift, to get a butt implant. They ended up being, like, medevac'd to a local hospital because within 24 hours of the procedure, they have a horrible infection. The butt implants are carrying, like, you know, triglycerides or whatever the fuck they're carrying. And they went into, like, you know, basically septic shock because of this terribly botched procedure that then included them spending an additional month and a half in the ICU here in the United States after being flown out of Costa Rica. I wanted to say it was Costa Rica in order to just get her better, get the implants out, get her better, make her better. She was in the ICU for a month and a half, 45 fucking days in the ICU, because she wanted to save $5,000 on her brazilian butt lift or whatever it was. You cannot take shortcuts like this. I just don't trust it. Now, there are a lot of people who go down to other countries to go to actual doctors who have reputable businesses.

I'm not saying other doctors in other countries aren't good, but when you don't even decide to go to the doctor in another country, it's like, if you're gonna go to a certified veneer tech, you might as well stay home and go to a certified veneer tech. Do you know what I'm saying? It's a lie here, just like it's a lie there. Don't fly to another country to save $200 and come home with a bunch of nubs. I thought that lie.

Henry.

Come on. It's crazy. I don't understand it. I understand medical travel. Like, I get that. I think if you need, like, a life saving procedure, something serious done, and the insurance company is not going to cover it for you, or you just don't have the kind of coverage that you need or at all. I can understand trying to find a place where you can get this done, and I believe that lots of people have flown to other countries and done experimental treatments for cancer and all kinds of things. Okay, I can understand that. But go to a fucking doctor. Go to someone that's got an actual degree and a license in that country to perform those medical procedures. You can't just say, I'm a veneer tech. Brand new veneers. $19.99 plus $99.99 shipping and handling. Come to my house, I'll shave off your teeth. And then I'll stick some old candle wax up there.

Chicklets.

And the pictures of the people who have had these procedures done from these people is ridiculous. It's as if you took. I don't know. It's as if. Yeah, chiclets or, you know, what's that? What are the boards that everyone. That. That lady Joanna got everybody into to shiplap. It's like they took shiplap. Cut it up. You know, the shiplap. The boards on people's houses, they're all white. Everyone's house is white now because of Joanna Gaines, right? Okay. They took that shiplap. It's like they took shiplap and just stuck it in someone's mouth. Their teeth are huge. They can't close their mouth properly. And they're like, hello. I think it's language. And I just let it. I can now chew through wood. I've been sanding down my teeth for three days, and pretty soon I'll have the smile I want. 3099, part two.

I'm just thinking about. While you're talking, I'm just thinking about how sensitive, you know, your teeth can be at certain points. Like, if, you know, you have an ice, piece of ice or something, you know, maybe blazed your teeth and they're sensitive. I don't know. But times ten on that, with your teeth being shaved down, you want to.

Listen to the guy who did that who talked about this? Listen, this is on. This is called the Jasmine brand. I'm not sure what this is, but check it out on Instagram. I'm gonna play the audio from this clip that got me hunting down this rabbit hole. Listen, just took care of another teenager. Sorry. Sorry. That's my porn. You're telling me that y'all are getting your veneers done by veneer tech with a certificate instead of a degree? What is a veneer tech?

All right, everybody, I'm here. I'm ready to go ahead and discuss the thing you guys have been tagging me and bullying me about for the past week, saying, ben, just talk about it, Bentis. Talk about it. It's time to talk about this crazy veneer technician stuff. So, apparently, if you guys didn't know down in Atlanta, they decided they were gonna make up their own technician called a veneer technician. We already got lash text, nails text, every text. You know, Botox text, everything else. So they said, hey, might as well just throw dentistry into the mix. And so my homies down there went ahead and maydays school, where they're charging you like $6,000 to learn how to do veneers in two days, and then printing you out a canva certificate and just putting your name on it and saying, hey, congrats. And then they are basically tricking other people into thinking that they're professionals to go get veneers at a cheaper price. Now, obviously, there is a slew of problems with this, as I'm sure you understand, one of which is this highly illegal, like seriously federally illegal, to be impersonating a person of dental care.

You know, basically a dental professional, a doctorate of dental study, a dds or a DMD. One of the two, if they're not that, they shouldn't be doing stuff on your teeth. Because, newsflash, I don't know if I need to tell you this, but there's a lot of things that can go wrong with veneer tech stuff going on. I mean, I don't even want to. I don't even know how to. How do we get here? How do we get here in the United States of America?

I'm so, okay, it goes on for a while, but you get it.

Yeah.

And so, and the reason why this got called out is because there were some people on Facebook that's, that are on Instagram and tick tock that started posting these flyers that they were getting in the windshield of their car. Certified veneer tech, new veneers, $300. $300. Now, even I, Brian Green, who is knowledgeable about nothing in his life, can understand that veneers, logically should cost a lot more than $300. It's crazy. So I'm just saying, I've got my appointment scheduled for next Tuesday. I'm going to get pretty teeth.

Oh, under. You could do a hidden camera.

Well, listen, if my kids start needing veneers or braces or anything like that, I'm not afraid to go to the veneer tech. I'm going to be like, listen, you got a lot of life to live. I can't fuck around with these teeth because I don't have much life to live left. I'm talking about Kroger and Lowe's on the podcast now, so I'm pretty sure I'm on the back end. But I'm telling you right now, if my kids need veneers, they're going straight to the veneer tech, because that's where you get the cheap prices. If I'm willing to go to Kroger to buy my groceries to save a couple bucks, don't you think for 1 second, Chrissy, that I won't go and get a veneer tech this magic microphone. I swear to God. What is going on? It's just like I get close to it and it starts popping out. It's like. I don't know, it's like I have some weird energy around my fingers or something. So that is highly disturbing medical story number one. You want to hear highly disturbing medical story number two? Sure, I know you do, but I'm gonna take a break first.

We'll be back. Well, we'll be back in 1 second.

Well, thank the baby Jesus brian took a breath. And now I will use this opportunity to let you know that we've got a brand new phone number. That's right, it's 212433 TCb. And you can text us anytime you want or you can call and leave us a voicemail and we might just use your message on the show once Brian gets through all the messages he missed last year.

Of course.

Anyway, you can also find and dm us on instagram at thecommercial break and on TikTok ecbpodcast. And of course all of our audio and video is easily found on tcbpodcast.com dot. Now I'm going to thank g one more time that we have sponsors, so thank G and here they are.

Okay. Highly disturbing medical story number two. Did you hear about the guy? Same, same. We're on the same medical nightmare dentistry. I know you've had some, some dent. Have you had dental issues?

No.

No. Who had dental issues? Your mom, your dad?

My mom did?

Yeah, your mom. Didn't she go through like a nightmare.

Dental situation for a while there things and whatever. Yeah, yeah.

And I've been through some, some dental nightmares.

Yeah.

The first time that I ever had to get a root canal, I went in. I had no idea what to expect. I am terrified of dentists. I do not like people putting their hands in my mouth.

A lot of people are like that. I love the dentist.

I had bad experiences when I was.

When you were a kid. It always stems from that.

Yeah, we had some guy that, this dentist that was like putting water instead of novocaine or watering down the novocaine. And then, you know, kids were screaming and the baby was just like, stop being a baby. It's like what? I am a baby. I am a baby. Why do you think I'm screaming like this? But you know, I've gotten over my fear of dentistry because I know just how important it is to stay away from the serious dental work, which is root canals and crowns and all that, it's. Those are all nightmares. It doesn't matter who you are. It doesn't matter how much you tolerate pain. You're gonna get a root canal, a crown, a bridge, whatever the fuck they call it. Whatever you're doing. All that shit is terrible. It's terrible. It's going to be painful, and you're going to be in the dental chair for hours. Now, luckily, I huff a bunch of gas while I'm there. That keeps me nice and calm. But the first time that I went to go have a root canal, I got in there, never had a root canal, so I didn't know what to expect. And the guy had to dope me up so high, he had to give me a nerve block.

Three or four shots of novocaine. The gas was on, like, an 80 20 mix, 80 gas, 20 oxygen. I was so far in outer space, but I could still feel it. It was still terrible. It still hurt, really, and it hurt, and I don't know why. And so he starts drilling, and I am in this chair for, I want to say about three to three and a half hours. I was in the chair as he would drill, and then he would do something else, and he would drill, and he would go back out of the room, and he would come, and he would drill again. And I was just so high for, like, 3 hours, but still feeling this nerve running into my head, and it hurt so bad. It was terrible. And so three, after three and a half hours in the chair, he starts lowering the, you know, the gas so I could come back to earth a little bit. And he's like, listen, man, I'm really sorry, but I'm not able to complete the root canal. And why? Listen, you are never going to lose these teeth on their own. Those roots are so deep in your skull that you're never going to lose these teeth.

You have incredibly large roots on. Your teeth are very long. And he said, I actually don't have drills that run that deep, so I'm going to have to order them. They'll be in in a couple days. I'm going to give you lots of pain medication.

We're going through all this. I didn't realize it was this.

Oh, it was terrible.

Why do you have to get the root canal to begin with?

Because you have a cavity that causes an infection inside of your tooth.

Okay?

So they might seal it, but that doesn't. That doesn't prevent it from getting infected. Like, even the sealant itself can have germs on it. And then once it's sealed and an infection's running in there. You can get an abscess, like root canals, and abscesses can kill you. They can kill. Mouth problems can kill you. Right. And so it's. It was. I had had this cavity for a long time. I just kept on ignoring the pain because I was like, I don't want to go to the dentist. And when I finally got there, it was so bad that the root canal was the only option. And for him to tell me that this wasn't over, that I was going to have to do this all over again. And then I had to go sit another three and a half hours so he could try and get all of the roots out of the tooth and save the tooth. It was terrible. So.

But wait, so you save the tooth? Okay.

You save the tooth and you fill it with cement.

Oh, okay. So you just drilled through the tooth down into the root.

You have to take out, and then.

You seal that up.

There is a pulp inside of your tooth. That pulp has nerves. That's why cavities can hurt so bad, right? Because those nerves are connected to this pulp some way, shape or form, not. Dentists don't really know the answer. But I do know this much because this is what I've been told, because I've been through it a few times now, right? And so the dentist will literally drill a hole in your tooth, in the flat part of your tooth, and then they will go in with these little. They call them drill bits. And I guess they do have drills that could actually probably drill, but what they're really doing is taking these very long, like, almost like pins.

Yeah.

But they're twisty, so they can get in and around, right? And they start digging through, taking out the pulp, like killing the pulp, going in, taking out the pulp, pulling it out. So it's almost like they stick it in, they kind of go, and then they pull it out, and you can feel it when they pull it out. It's like, you know, they yanks. It's. It's terrible. Anybody's been through a root canal knows this. It's terrible. It's terrible. Even if you're doped up, it's terrible because it's just the sensations inside of your mouth are really cringe worthy. And so this guy had to order special drill bits or whatever. I go back another three and a half hours. I was for, like a month dealing with this. It was terrible. I doped up pain medication. Nothing worse than a toothache. This guy, who I think isn't sweet. This all leads to this story which if you're like easily queased out, then you might want to turn this for like fast forward five minutes. Cause I wanna read you this story. Are you ready?

I'm ready, I think. I don't know, I might be easily queased out. Turkish, that's a new term.

Queezed out.

Squeezed out. Yeah, I made that up right then and there. That's a good one. Queezed out. TCB. Queezed out. Old and queezed out. Easy and queasy. Easy. Squeezy. Queasy. Here at the commercial break. You wanna throw up or talk about the weather? What's your favorite grocery store? What's your favorite grocery store? This is the stupidest question I've ever asked about this. I don't know. I know. And you know what got me thinking about that? The fucking lows. That's what got me thinking about it. So I'm surprised you said that. It was actually. It's actually. You read my mind. Turkish dental surgeon screwed tooth implant into father's brain cavity in horrific blunder, then dumped him at the hospital and fled. This comes from the Daily Mail in the UK. A father of two had to have a dental implant removed from his brain after allegedly getting botched surgery in Turkey. I can't say his name so I'm not gonna kill it. Mister Yilmaz is his name. He's 40 years old. He went to a private dental clinic in Bursa with a toothache. The dentist examined him. The dentist who examined him told him he had a loose tooth that needed to be extracted.

Mister Yamaz had the teeth, had the tooth removed and the dentist recommended implants to replace them. The implant pieced through Mister Yamaz's jawbone and into the area behind his eye where the brain and the spinal fluid are located. During the surgery, the dentist attempted to force one of the implants into place, but allegedly ended up piercing Mister Yamaz's jawbone. Speaking to local media, Mister Yamaz said after experiencing discomfort with my teeth I went to a private dental clinic. Following examinations there, I was informed that my bone structure was delicate, my teeth were loose and it was advisable to go under surgery and get the implant procedure. The doctor claimed to have 24 years of experience in the field and he assured me of his expertise. So I entrusted him with the procedure. Later, while pulling my teeth and performing the implant procedure on the same day he was informed, he informed his secretary that the device he was using was faulty. He then proceeded to perform the procedure manually. He attempted to place the screw. I noticed that he was exerting excessive force. I pointed this out to him, mentioning that I heard a bone cracking sound.

However, he reassured me this was all normal. But as he continued to force the screw, it pierced through my jawbone and into the area located behind my eye where the brain and the spinal fluid are located. The screw went all the way up into his cranium, causing him to scream in agony. Mister Yamaz was taken to a local hospital by the dentist, who left him there and fled the scene. Medics gave Mister Yamaz a ct scan and immediately took him in for emergency surgery. The grueling operation lasted for hours, but the surgeons managed to remove the screw from his brain. I screamed in pain and he finally took the x ray. Realizing the seriousness of the situation, he took me to the emergency department at the university hospital. Holy shit. The father of two was discharged days later, is now recovering as reported by this local newspaper. He added, before the operation, they warned me I could lose my life. I made peace with my children and I bid them farewell. Thankfully, I emerged safely from the surgery. I'm assuming he's talking about the brain surgery and not the initial dental implant. That is insane.

Now look at the picture. No, well, it doesn't actually show his, doesn't actually show his face. Look at that x ray that went straight through his tooth up into his brain. Can you fucking imagine the agony, the anguish, just thinking about the fact that that pretty tooth will never be back. I mean, this is incredible. This is why, this is why you don't go to the knockoff dentist. You don't go to the knockoff doctor, you don't go to anything. Knockoff. You want to go to knockoff, you go to little. That's what I'm saying. Okay, that's what I'm trying to, that's the point I'm trying to make here. You go to little, if you want something cheap, you don't go to knockoff dentists and surgeons and veneer techs, quote unquote, because shit like this can happen. And then what happens when you got a drill stuck in your head? What are you gonna do then, huh? What are you gonna do then?

Yeah, you don't have to go to the most expensive, but go to somebody who's actually a medical professional.

Chrissy, never have you given better advice on this show. I do have to say this is one of the golden nuggets that I think you've given that piece of advice I mean, we've had friends who've had lots of plastic surgery, right? Did one of our friends have botched plastic surgery and have to go get something redone? Am I saying that? Am I thinking about that correctly? I feel like they did. I've had friends girlfriends who've had boob implants removed because of certain situations, leakage and stuff like that. I mean, it's.

Yeah, you can get wrong injectables and things.

Yeah. It's so dangerous. Luckily, my. My boobin plants are. They're holding up my man boo bin plants are doing great.

Hey, they do that now, too. There I was watching the pectorals. Yeah, the pectorals. I think I was watching botched that show, you know, with the two surgeons, and there was this one guy who had so many implants, like the arms implants and the pecs and stab. Like, I guess you could get it for every calf. You can get it.

You can get it anywhere. Do you see these guys that are, like, in Russia, these far flung western european countries that inject their arms with these solutions that make their muscles blow up, but then the rest of them looks like me. It's, like, squeaky and skinny, but they have these huge biceps that are all dis formed and weird. It's highly disgusting. I don't understand the body modification thing. I don't. But I also don't suffer from dysmorphia. It's not something that I suffer from. I think I look great all the time.

You do?

I think I look hot and sexy all the time, so I don't worry about it too much. But I just don't understand it. Like, I don't understand, you know, taking knives and making yourself. Not talking about plastic surgery. I'm talking about, like, disfiguring surgery stuff where you just don't think you look right and then you have to, like, you know, like the cat woman or the cat guy who's, like, pulled their face so far back and put all these injectables into their face to make them look like a cat or a Barbie or a, you know, Ken doll or whatever it is. That kind of stuff seems so extreme to me, and I just don't get it because it's never. It's never going to go backwards. You're never going to. You're never going to be able to undo what you did. And I wonder if some of those people, there's that famous cat lady, you know, I'm talking about. She's, like, probably in her eighties now, but all through the eighties, in the 1980s, I would remember seeing, on occasion, some kind of, you know, crappy access Hollywood or something story about this lady who was getting immense amounts of plastic surgery to make her look like a cat, like a lynx.

And now you see pictures of her, and she looks terribly disfigured. But she kept saying, this is the look I want. This is how I want to look. This is sexy. This is good. This is great. Ever since the first time I remember seeing this lady, I always thought to myself, that is just disturbing.

A little bit psychologically.

You wonder if they look at themselves and they think, this looks good. It must, I guess, if you keep on pursuing it.

That's right.

If you could look like. If I could do some surgery on you right now and you could look like any animal, what would it be?

Any animal.

Any animal?

Uh hmm. I don't know.

You don't know? Pick an animal. It's just an animal. What animal do you like?

I'm cycling through them in my head, and I can't think of one that I want to look like.

Do you want me to show you pictures of animals? I'd be a dolphin. I just get my nose elongated. What do you think?

I do like dolphins.

I do like dolphins, too. I think they're so fucking cute. You know what I'm saying? If I'm gonna be. If I'm gonna be an animal, let me be a cute animal. Do you know what I'm saying?

Would you just transform into that animal or just your face?

No, I'd wanna go whole body. I do the whole body. Oh, there.

I mean, if you could just transform into an animal.

Sorry, Brian's not here anymore.

We put up a tank.

I just go back in my pool. I'd just be flopping around in my pool. Chrissy, be like. He said, welcome to the commercial. He said, best to you, podcast universe.

Where our screen is, is where we would have, like, an underwater.

Underwater cam. And I just swim up every once in a while to the microphone and be like, do like, a flip in the pool, come back down and be like, if I'm gonna go dolphin, I want to go full dolphin. You know what I'm saying?

You've got to dolphin penis and everything.

No, you don't go half. You never go half. You never go full dolphin. You always go full dolphin. That's what I say. You always go full dolphin.

Words of wisdom.

Well, you decide to be a medical.

Professional, folks, and go full dolphin.

What else can we say? Go to Lowe's, take care of your teeth go full dolphin. Always go full dolphin.

Yeah.

Oh, my gosh. What an interesting episode of the commercial break.

We were all over the place.

Well, not really. I mean, for us. Not really for the audience, probably, but for us, we actually stayed on task pretty good. I wanted, with fold off, I wanted to do four medical stories we got to do. I wanted to talk about ads in the show. We ended up at Lowe's. I don't know, whatever cares. And tell me you wouldn't pay for an ad free version of this.

That's right.

Oh, my gosh. I love it. I love it. All right, three things. Merge, drop, coming. Get your credit cards ready. Rather than get that brazilian butt implant from Mexico City. Pay for.

Maybe we'll put some inserts in the sweatpants.

Oh, we could do that. Yeah, we can do that. We could send. We can go to Amazon and buy food. Like plastic insert. That's actually not a bad idea. BBL is included. We'll put some fake chattering teeth in there. That's your veneers. Oh, you know, we're gonna do something funny. So merge, drop coming. Special presents included. There you go. Special prize with every. Everything you buy. Like a cracker jack.

Yeah.

So merge, drop, coming. Florida shows coming. Let us know if you want to go. If you're gonna be there in August. We think we're gonna. We think we're gonna have some shows, so if you'd like to come, just text us and let us know you're interested in seeing a Florida show, possibly more shows to be announced.

The world.

One of those special containers to take me? Yeah. And we want you to be on the show, so dial us up. 212433 TCB. That's 212433 tcb. Tcb podcast.com. Get your free sticker. Contact us button. Give us your physical address at the commercial break on Instagram, TCb podcast on Tick tock and YouTube.com, they commercial break for interviews and selected episodes. Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for today.

I think so.

But I love you.

And I love you.

Best to you and best podcast universe. Until next time. Chrissy and I always say, we do say, and we must say goodbye.