When somebody ask me if I'm having a good day, I just got to ask myself three questions, brother. One, am I alive? I usually am. Two, am I in the land of the free? I usually am, baby. And three, do I feel the smiling spirit of George Washington gazing down upon me from the great perly land of the free in the sky? Brother, there ain't a moment that goes by that I don't feel that. When I add up that math makes me realize there are no bad days in the land of the free, baby. On this episode of the Commercial Break.

I'm not going to go in with you.

You see Christie wiping my ass? I'm hanging on the side of the tub, just shitting myself. Christie's like, got it.

I would pass you good toilet paper and some dude wipes. I would.

Christie looks like someone from ET. I'd throw them in there. Yeah, she'd be like...

I'd open the door quick, throw them in there.

Sorry about your ass. Great episode.

That's a ride or die.

Great episode. The The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. Oh, yeah, Kathy Kittens. Welcome back to The Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green. This is the Wilford to my Brimley, Chris and Joy Holdley. Best to you, Chrissy.

Best to you, Brian.

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us. There are many things to talk about today. I'm actually excited because this is one of those days when our cup fill us over with shit to talk about.

I like the cup. Me too.

Full cup. Two podcasters, one cup. Okay. By the way, my brother said, Do not, whatever you do, google One Boy, One Cup. It doesn't sound like anything I'd want to Google, but now when someone tells you not to google something, then of course, you have to google it. I made the mistake many years ago, Two Girls, One Cup. Okay, there's nothing I'm interested in, but thanks for showing me the world's most disgusting video. Wilfred Brimley. I got to tell you a story, and I want you to tell me about why you sent me this picture. Okay. This morning, I wake up and Christie has sent me a picture of Wilfred Brimley, who we were talking about a couple of episodes ago, because Wilfred Brimley was a tender age of 51 years old when a photograph we saw on Instagram was taken. He looked no younger than 79 years old. No younger. I mean, the guy honestly looked like any other 80-year-old walking down the street in 2024. But in 1981, he was 51 years older. In 1982, 51 years old. And man, did he look old. I mean, old. Christie and I have been talking about this forever, about how people who were in their 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, back in the '70s and '80s, they just look really old compared to people who look like us today.

Now, yes.

I go to Starbucks and I'm opening my phone for the first time. See who's calling me for money. I open my phone for the first time and I see your text message, and I start laughing. One of the girls is standing right in front of me while I'm waiting for the coffee. She comes over, she goes, What are you laughing at? I said, Well, I'm laughing at this photograph. How old do you think this gentleman is in this photograph? She replies, I don't know, 50, 60 years old, something like that. I was surprised at why she said 50, 60. I thought for sure she was going to say 70 or 80. She is, I believe, around my age. But there's another young girl, Katie, who works there. She's probably no older than 19, 20 years old. I might be getting that wrong, but that's my guess. Based on her energy and the way that she looks, 19, 20 years old. She comes bouncing over and she goes, I said, You think this guy is 35 years old? She says, No, I thought you were 35 years old. I thought you were asking how old I look.

I said, No, it's this picture. I go, You think I look 35 years old? She said, 33, 34? She had gotten it wrong, right? I said, Do you honestly believe I'm 35 years old? She's like, Oh, yeah, I guess you're in your mid-30s, like lower to mid-30s. I said, I'm going to kiss you right on your mouth. Right on your mouth, Katie. Right on that mouth, because that is a lovely to say, No, I am not anywhere close to 34 years old, but thank you very much. I really appreciate it.

How old do you think- You're not that far off. God, you make yourself sound like you're ready.

Well, I mean, okay, I'm not that far off. But I'm not exactly right around the corner from 34 years old either. I'm not 50, but I'm also not 35 or 36 years old. I just wanted to kiss her on her mouth. But then I said, Hey, listen, how old do you think the gentleman in this picture is? And she goes, I don't know, 80? I was like, He's 50 years old in that photograph. Fifty. And he does look 80. You're right about that. Why did you send me that picture?

Well, first of all, I don't know exactly how old he was in the picture that I sent you, but Basically, every picture that I looked at, they all looked the same. I just screenshotted one and sent that to you. But the reason I sent it to you was because we were talking about Wilfred Brimley, and somehow he seeped into my dream last night. It was so bizarre.

I woke up- Christie was riding his handlebar mustache in the dream.

No, he was just there. He was the owner or the manager of this general store type place that maybe had a cracker-barrel-ish type feel to it. Except we were in Jamaica, and there were some nice Jamaican wearers that were for sale in this place. I was trying to pick out a special necklace or something that I wanted, but he was floating around, and so it just made me laugh. I woke up and found a picture and sent it to you and said, Good morning.

Yeah, good morning. Wilfred Brimley. It was nice. At least it's a nice warm face to wake up to. It is. For those of you who just don't know who we're talking about, which I imagine is not a lot of the audience, but some of the audience, let me remind you of the commercials that played forever in the '80s and '90s for two specific companies. One is Liberty, the people who sell diabetes meters or something like that?

Yes.

We all say it diabetes, but he says it diabetes.

But he said it diabetes.

Diabetes. Diabetes. Diabetes. Diabetes. Diabetes. But then also, he was a very famous spokesperson for Quaker Oats. Yes. If there is ever a man who looks like a Quaker, it is Wilford Brimley. Because one of the girls at the counter asked me, What ethnicity is he? And I go, Fuck am I supposed to know? I don't know Wilford Brimley. I don't know. But then I thought to myself, he's as Quaker as it comes. His last name is Brimley, and he looks like the guy on the Quaker Oats box. Let's listen to that commercial real quick. Hold on.

You know when I was a kid and got a hold of a nickel, I thought I was rich. I didn't I'm not turning up my nose at pennies either. Today, some folks won't even bend to pick them up. Well, here's a bowl of steaming Quaker oatmeal. I can't think of a healthier way to start today. Cost you one nickel and four pennies. So if you can't be bothered with nickels and pennies, throw them in a jar. Start an oatmeal fund, Quaker Oats.

Well, if I've ever been convinced to not eat something in my life, Wilford just did it. A nickel and four pennies. It cost nine cents to buy When was this commercial?

It's probably per serving.

Per serving.

Yeah, I guess. No, it's pretty funny. Yeah, well, I did the Wikipedia on him, and he had quite the story in life.

This bowl of hot steaming dog shit cost me five pennies and two nickels.

He was in some Westerns, too. He was. Yes, I was. And then he was an activist against the ban on cockfighting.

There's nothing wrong with a little cockfighting.

The reason was because he thought that was stripping away then at your liberties, and then everything could be taken away if cockfighting was banned.

Well, a cockfighting is banned. Next thing you know, we're going to be marrying goats. I'm Wilford Brimley for cockfighting.

It was very It's strange to read that part.

I'm Wilford Brimley for gay-related cockfighting. I like taking out my penis just as much as the next man. It cost me a nickel and four pennies when I was a kid to put my penis in a glory hole, and I don't want that taken away. I'm a libertarian and a Quaker. Wilford Brimley here for a cockfighter. Cockfighting.

I know.

But here's where Wilford, I think, is maybe in the lexicon of popularity in 2024, is because everyone One loves to hear him say diabetes. Yes.

Diabetes. Five, you have diabetes and you're on Medicare, you may qualify for a free meter from Liberty Medical. If you have type 2 diabetes like I have, you're confronted with choices. You can choose to feel sorry for yourself. I hope you don't. I hope you choose to get involved with a good doctor. Find out- Get involved with a good doctor.

I hope you get off your fat ass and start working out.

That's all it takes is to get involved.

Start eating more. Quick or Oats, Chrissa. Chrissa, do you have diabetes?

I do not.

If you do have diabetes, I sure hope you die tomorrow because you suck. Thanks, Wilford. Wilford's such a nice guy.

Diabetes and your own body in the bargain. You learn to check your own blood sugar and check it often. That, along with a simple diet and exercise program, can help keep your diabetes under control. If you're on Medicare, call Liberty Medical.

He has a sense of authority. He'll have to keep your diabetes under control.

Well, yeah, he's scaring the shit out of you is what he's doing. He comes from a different time. You can just tell. If you have diabetes, I sure hope that you're not sitting around feeling sorry for yourself. Get yourself a nickel bowl of Quakeroats. Yeah. And then test your glucose with my Liberty Mutual. Liberty, not Liberty Mutual. With my Liberty testing strip. Diabetes. How do you come up with diabetes from diabetes? He did. I know. He's got that mustache that covers his entire mouth. I think that's what it was. Yeah, you can't see his mouth. Yeah, it was fuzzy.

He couldn't pronounce diabetes.

Diabetes. It's so strange. It's so strange. But I think we're right about this. I think people just grew up faster. I think we are literally being mummified by all the plastic that we're putting in our body. It's so strange.

Probably.

All right. Second item of note here for you, Chrissy. Yesterday, you heard our interview with Joe Dombrowski. Yes. We loved Joe. Joe was great. Joe is just one of those guys- Blue agrees. Yeah, Blue agrees. God damn that dog. Honestly, can I have one moment of peace in this house?

I think I just heard Astrid. Yeah.

.

Yeah, stop it.

Astrid knows. She manages the dog for the commercial break.

As well as the 30 kids.

Yeah, seriously. He's a superhero. But the kids can be screaming at the top of their lungs, it won't be anywhere close to as loud as Blue. That piercing bark that just keeps on going. We had Joe on yesterday. He's got a big tour coming up this fall, so please go to thejoedombrowski. Com. You can check him on his social. He's got millions of followers, so he's not hard to find. He's really funny. He is really funny. He's like, naturally funny human being. That's the best kind. I like when we have people on that they're not making an effort to be funny. It comes out of them. It's like running through their pores. It's the quick wit. And unbelievably, Actually, after we've had a little bit of experience talking to comedians, a little bit of experience, not everybody that we've talked to, I think, has that natural sense of humor. I think they're good at stand-up comedy, but maybe when they're not doing stand-up comedy, that's not their natural disposition. Joe is definitely one of those people that I think you just put in a room and you'd find him funny regardless. But anyway, Joe pointed out something that we had no idea about.

That is, we have We really pissed off, Possum Lover 54. Yes, we did. I don't know where this started. I don't know how this started. I don't even know which episode.

We couldn't figure it out. Couldn't figure it out. We were like, When did we even talk about possums? Having germs or something?

I'm going to tell you this. I'm going to give you a $20 Starbucks, Dunkin' Donuts, McDonald's, Caribou coffee, whatever place you like to go to coffee. I'm going to buy your coffee for a week. If you can find, because it takes us a long time to do this. Maybe you'll understand it right off the bat. If you can find in the Commercial Break catalog where I was so upsetting to the possum lovers out there, there is literally a review on Apple that says, Someone used to like us.

Yeah, I really liked your show until Until you talk shit about possums. They've been around longer than humans. They're better than humans.

They deserve to be here more than humans.

Yeah, it was very interesting review.

Someone really has a connection with possums. Now, while I find this hard to believe and I stand my ground that possums are aliens on Earth, I didn't say they don't deserve... Well, maybe I did say they don't deserve to be here on Earth. I don't know. I don't remember. Maybe I said that. I don't throw it past me. I'm speaking for seven hours a week on this fucking show. I know. Sometimes I say stuff just because I say it, it's not necessarily that I believe it with all my heart. Now I'm apologizing to the possum community. Fuck you. Fuck you. I don't like possums. What else?

Well, also, too, I was wondering, I mean, if you're that passionate about possums, are you... Because I, unfortunately, see them dead on the road quite a bit. Is this person doing something about that, having a little ceremony or burying them? I don't know.

Home, little rat with weasley tail that smells bad and carries diseases. Let us all pray for the possum spirit's little teeth that can gnaw through your leg. Find them up in your attic and you'll never get them out. They ate your garbage last night, now it's all over the front lawn. I see one every 30 feet on the street. Some people eat them for dinner. Yeah, I think people do. Oh, yeah. People eat possum roadkill. I say all the time. I say all the time. All the time. I love a good possum stew.

What are you talking about? Some people might eat it all the time. We don't know.

I don't know how I offended you. Was it Bella something? Yeah. Or was it Bella, the girl who wrote it? I don't know. Somebody wrote this. If you're still listening, I don't know what to tell you. We're sorry. I just don't like possums. Isn't that okay? Can't we disagree on the possums? I agree they have their place here on Earth. They're not going away. I don't know that I would choose if I was picking... If I was picking, if there's a flood coming tomorrow and I was going to be... Who's that guy? Noah. Noah. If I was going to be... Who's that guy? Who's that guy? Who's that guy? That famous guy had a boat. If I was going to be Noah, I don't know that I would choose two possums to come along on the boat ride, but that's just my personal opinion. I'm sorry that I offended you. I'm begging you to come on the show and explain why possums are better than the commercial break. Because if we can't even be better than possums, then I think we have zero chance of ever making this show successful. That's what I took away from it.

I'm like, People are literally leaving the show because they prefer possums. Possums. They prefer a possum to the commercial break. We are terrible at our jobs if we're not beating possums on the totem pole. I thought we'd be in the conversation like, I prefer Theo Vawn over the commercial. Eh, Conan just a little bit better. Smartlist has better guests than the Commercial Break. But we're not even going past possums.

No. Possums.

By the way, like a dolphin or something. At least a dolphins are pretty and they make cool noises.

You know what I'm saying? Well, we love dolphins. Look, our show is not for everybody.

Our show is definitely not for everybody. I guess we can't even beat possums. Here's my call to you, the podcast audience. First one to find where I said that I did not like possums and find it in context so that we can understand exactly what we said to piss off this poor lady. I will buy you coffee for a week. First person, text in, 212-433-3TCB. Find me the episode number. Two nickels and four pennies. I'm buying you Quaker Oats for a week. Quaker Oats for a week. But I'll sign the Quaker Oats. That's better. I'm sending you a crate. No, I'm just going to stick with the coffee. I don't want to say things I can't. Because then the FCC calls me and they're like, Hey, you're doing uncertified contests. It's not a contest. I'm just asking somebody to do me a favor. Find me the quote.

The possum offense. Yeah.

Do I have to issue an official apology? Like, What's going on? I I don't know. I don't know what I said, so I don't know how it goes. But I cannot believe for the life of me that we can't even be... I'm going to put on the show description now. Right now, it says we're like the Cheesecake Factory. We're fine. We're fine. I'm going to say, Hated by possum lovers everywhere. That's a good one. Number one possum enemy. Emony. Emony. Number one possum enemy. The commercial break. Do you have any inkling of where we might have said this? No.

When Joe brought it up, I was like, What? I just really don't remember when we talked about it.

Well, first of all, good on Joe for doing his homework. He did. Yeah.

He was like, I decided to check you guys out before I got on here.

Here's another thing Joe said. Good idea. Here's another thing Joe said, and I think he'll be okay with me sharing this. After we get off air, Joe says, Who in the world are you guys connected to? I said, What do you mean? And he goes, Who are you connected to? I'm going down your list of guests. It's I looked up their managers, their- You got all my friends. I just want to know who exactly I was getting involved with here. I looked down and I'm really impressed by this list. It's like, all my friends, all the people I look up to, all the managers, a bunch of them been on the show. I said, Well, we have a booking agent, someone that helps us out with the booking. Then he goes, Oh, okay. All right. I took that as a high compliment. Then when I walked out of the studio, I shared with Astrid. I said, Hey, you know what Joe said? He said, he's really impressed at the guest list that we've had. That's all. And she goes, Yeah, it's probably because he took a look at your Instagram and saw 3,000 people not even following you.

You can't even get to 3,000. I wondered how exactly Rachel Feinstein showed up on your show. Exactly. Fuck you. I said, Astrid, come on. I had a moment where I was actually feeling good about myself, and then you had to bring me down a notch. That's Astrid's job in life, is to make sure Brian's head doesn't get too big. Oh, well. But it's so true. He's probably like, Wow, look at that. Rachel Feinstein, Heather McMahon, Margaret. You guys are done. These guys are big time. Let's look at their Instagram. I love it.

We're big in Venezuela.

Yeah, he was probably like, Is this the same commercial break that I'm going? Right. Is there another commercial break? There is another commercial break. They talk about, I don't know, taxes or something. I'm not sure what they do. All right, so let's do this. Let's take a break. I got lots more fun stuff to talk about our cup filleth- Diabetes. It's diabetes. Every time I start making fun of Wilfred, my tongue doesn't work. We'll be right back. We'll be right back with more diabetes-related information.

Well, thank the baby Jesus. Brian took a breath, and now I will use this opportunity to let you know that we've got a brand new phone number. That's right. It's 212-433-3TCB, and you can text us anytime you want, or you can call and leave us a voicemail, and we might just use your message on the show once Brian gets through all the messages he missed last year, of course. Anyway, you can also find and DM us on Instagram at the Commercial Break and on TikTok at TCB Podcast. And of course, all of our audio and video is easily found on tcbpodcast. Com. Now, I'm going to thank G one more time that we have sponsors. So thank G, and here they are.

It's the most anticipated WMBA season in history. So you know what that means.

Court is back in session with Queens of the Court, a WMBA podcast.

I'm your girl Sheryl Swoops.

And I'm Jordan Robinson. All WMBA season long, we'll bring you interviews with star athletes, analysis on your favorite teams, and lots of hot takes.

Order in the Court.

Follow and listen to Queens of the Court, free on the Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcast.

We talk a lot about weird food combinations on this show. Brian likes his cream and cereal. There's lots of people- There's the ramen.

The ramen noodle.

The ramen noodle. I cannot believe that I put that in my body. For years, I put that in my body. It's probably why my ex-wife divorced me. She was probably like, remember how we had Jenna? Was it Jenna? Jenna wrote in and was like, wow, the guy that I'm dating He eats a bunch of slop and he eats it sloppily and I just can't take it anymore. What do you guys think? Well, I'm just wondering now what Julia was thinking on the other end of my ramen noodles, Chipotle beef, ramen noodles, so the chipulte beef packet, of probably an entire bag of Mexican shred of cheese. By the way, I would put two or three bags of ramen noodles, entire bags of Mexican cheese, sour cream, hot sauce, steak sauce, crackers, I mean, I put everything under the... Jalapenos sometimes. It just didn't matter. I would put it all in there. It would just be this disgustingly glopy, gloopy mess that I thought was delicious. No wonder I dropped 75 pounds after I divorce her. I stopped eating that shit. I was like, Well, I guess I got to stop eating a three-year-old now. She probably went to the divorce attorney and was like, I cannot for one more minute watch that man eat another.

I can't take it anymore. Eat another. Literally, we spend $180 a month on ramen noodles.

On the ones that are 10 for a dollar. That's right.

That is a nickel in four pennies. That ramen noodles is a nickel and four pennies. There's lots of weird food combinations that people like. My wife was pregnant 75 times, so I know that when you get pregnant, sometimes you have cravings for weird foods. Some of the weird food that is often mentioned when it's talking about pregnancy is something related to pickles. Ice cream and pickles or cookies and pickles. Sweet and tart, that's the combination for whatever reason that pregnant women will often report finding themselves craving. But I saw something on Instagram the other day, and I had no idea this was a thing. No idea this was a thing. I'm probably six months behind this conversation, but you heard it here last. You heard it here last from the number one enemy of possums and podcasting. There was a lady who drove through the Sonic drive-through and ordered a Dr. Pepper with pickles. A Dr. Pepper with pickles. So you want to just hear the- I mean- Little reel here?

Pickles in the Dr. Pepper or just- Chrissy, it's insane. Some pickles and a Dr. Pepper on the side. Okay, listen.

Let me restart this. Yes, ma'am. I need to get a large Dr. Pepper with pickles.

All right. We got a large Dr.

Pepper with pickles.

And you're going to see the cherries up there, ma'am?

And It's going to be your pickles, okay?

Okay.

Thank you so much.

Yes, ma'am. You have a great day today. We have a total of 362.

First of all, 362 for a fucking Dr. Pepper. Inflation is out of control, second of all. It really is. That's crazy. 362. I don't know if she ordered anything else, but if you're paying $3.62 for fucking Dr. Pepper. But what the lady is saying here, just so you don't get confused, when she says you'll see cherries, meaning they have to charge extra for the pickles, so they are charging for They're putting cherries on the screen, not in her drink. What they put in her drink is actual fucking pickles. Thank you. You, too. Let's see what it looks like.

This right here is a pickle Dr. Pepper. It's Dr.

Pepper with dill pickle sauces in it.

Don't knock it until you try it. If you like pickles and you like Dr. Pepper, and you're probably like, Eew, gross. I would never, ever drink that.

But there's a lot of people that do drink this.

Did you hear her the way she took my order? Yeah, she seemed like- I'm the only portion that's ever. Right. She didn't seem surprised by it.

No, the lady on the other end was not shocked. The lady on the other end was also a Dr. Pepper and pickle drinker because she clearly was not fazed by it one bit whatsoever. She didn't skip a beat. She didn't. This seems strange to me. Now, there's a thick Southern draw going on here, so I got to imagine she's somewhere South Georgia, Alabama, somewhere like that. But I had no idea that this was a thing. I had no idea putting pickles inside of your soda was a thing. I can't remember the last time I had a Dr. Pepper, but I I do like it. It's not a bad drink. I like it. Every once in a blue moon. I don't go to fast food restaurants a lot or at all anymore. But when I do, sometimes I'll choose the Dr. Pepper on the thing. Sorry, she's doing it again. Sometimes I'll choose the Dr. Pepper as a falvin' drink.

Every once in a while, I'll do a Dr. Pepper.

But it just sounds really fucking disgusting to me to put pickles inside of your Dr. Pepper. Because Dr. Pepper is so sweet. Then you put those pickles in there. Doesn't that cause some weird taste?

I'm apparently to her or other people.

It's second call to the audience in one show. I want to know if anybody does this, if this is a thing for anybody else, because I've never heard of it. I've been around some people that are really Southern, and I've never heard anybody say, I want a pickle Dr. Pepper. She referred to it as a Pickled Dr. Pepper. This is making news in the New York Post.

Maybe it's the saltiness or something, because I remember my grandfather liked to have Coca-Cola with some salt on it. Really? Yes.

Really? You When chocolate and salt started becoming a thing- I like that. Whatever it was, two decades ago, when chefs started putting salted caramel, salted chocolate, putting salt on top of desserts that you get at restaurants, it didn't faze me one bit. Because when I was a stoner kid, 17, 16, 17, my favorite snack, my favorite snack was to get chocolate-covered Graham crackers, like Graham cracker cookies, Graham cookies, whatever they were. They would sell the Kibler elves. They would sell the Kibler elves. Yeah, something like that. Little bears. That's right. Something like that. Then I would also grab a bag of whatever potato chips were around. Ruffles, Lay's, whatever was around. I would grab it and then I take a handful of chocolate I put in my mouth and then I'd stuff a bunch of potato chips. That's sweet and salty. That's sweet and salty just hit the spot, especially when I was stoned, especially when I was... Of course, when I was stoned, I'd eat anything. But so when people started putting salt on chocolate and some other people around me were Oh, my God, that's crazy. I never thought it was all that crazy.

I thought, Oh, no, that's a good combination right there, salt and chocolate. Now it's one of my favorite things in the world to eat is chocolate-covered pretzels, a little sweet, a little salty, whatever it is. I'm not saying, I don't know because I never tried it, it might taste perfectly lovely, but it just seems like a weird thing to put in a drink. Pickles? Pickles? If I brought Dr. Pepper in here one day and I brought a series of things that we should put in that Dr. Pepper to see if we can come up with a brand new combination, would you go through the motions with me?

I would try the pickles.

I would try it. What about other things? Like an oyster Dr. Pepper. Would you try that? No. No?

I don't like oysters, really. You don't? Mm-mm.

What happened to you as a kid?

I just don't like them.

You're not afraid of heights, but you like oyster. You don't like oysters. They seem slimy? . But wait a second. You don't like them whatsoever?

I mean, I'll eat a Rockefeller, an oyster Rockefeller, but that's just because- The tiny, tiny little ones?

The ones that look like pearls? They're tiny little The Rockefellers, those little ones, right?

No, no, no. Rockefellers got the spinach and the cheese and stuff.

Oh, Oysters Rockefeller. I thought you were talking about a type of oyster. No.

Okay. Oysters Rockefeller. That's just because it has the spinach in the cheese on it. Yeah, that's not it.

That's just cheese dip that happens to have an oyster in it.

Yeah. Only that.

That's really interesting. I didn't know that about you. But she loves, loves, loves, loves crab legs. Just letting you know that. Don't take this girl out to dinner. She's going to all the crab legs in the restaurant, regardless of how much they cost. Yeah, I think we got to try this. I think we should bring some Dr. Pepper in here. I'll bring some pickles and some other items. We'll just throw them in the Dr. Pepper and see what happens. Yeah, sure. Are you willing to do this with me? I am. Okay. I still won't do the Hot Wing challenge, though. Still won't do the One Chip challenge. Tried that one.

No.

Why not?

Because somebody died from it. Also, too, I don't like just hot for hot. It's got to be flavorful. I don't need to challenge myself on that.

We're challenging ourselves for the show.

No, you just specifically want me to eat it.

Well, yes, I do. Of course I do. Yes. I I want you to do it with me. I want us both to suffer equally at the same time.

No, I don't want to suffer.

I literally want to cover the studio in plastic because I want to be full of snot and saliva and shit and puke or whatever it is we're going to do. And then I want to watch us ride around the pain. Listen, Handbone. Handbone. Handbone is going crazy. I think we should do a weird food-related episode. And so I'm trying to gather some ideas.

I'm getting on board with the Dr. Pepper thing, so take it where you can get it.

Well, whoopty fucking do. You put some pickles in your Dr. Pepper, but not oysters. What about... I'm going to come up with a list of things, and then you can approve or disapprove. Maybe our listeners can write in some ideas. I got to send it.

I'll put a G sheet together, and then you can approve or disapprove of what my ideas are.

I thought you were like, my ride or die. You just try anything for any reason.

I am just not. No, that's not the definition.

That's not the definition of ride or die? Mm-mm. Well, I got to revisit it.

I'll be there for you while you're shitting and picking. I'll help you, but I'm not going to go in with you on it.

You see Christie wiping my ass? I'm hanging on the side of the tub, just shitting myself. And Christie's like, got it.

I would pass you good toilet paper and some I would.

Christie looks like someone from E. T. I'd throw them in there. Yeah, she'd be like...

I'd open the door quick. Throw them in there.

Sorry about your ass. Great episode.

That's a ride or die.

Great episode. The possum queen wants to talk to you. The possum queen. Speaking of things in your ass, there's a guy that got arrested. Here it is. A man in Texas has been accused of contaminating items from an antique store by placing them in his ass. Michael Vest, 60 years old, was observed sticking $200 worth of antiques in his rear end and then putting them back on the shelf. Now, he got caught on camera doing this. Good God.

That is What's wrong? What is wrong with people?

Do you remember these shit for brains during the pandemic who would run into the grocery stores, take the lid off the ice cream, lick it, and then put it back? No. Do you remember that was going on? Glad I didn't know that. No. It was a whole thing going on in 2020 for a month. People were running into grocery stores. They were licking fruit, they were licking ice cream, and they thought that it was funny. For whatever reason, they thought that it was funny. This, to me, should be prosecuted like attempted murder. This is insane that you would go and stick something in your butt, put it back on the shelf, and then unsuspecting somebody would come touch it or buy it, whatever. That is insane.

What were the items? I'm just curious now. Were they salt and pepper shakers or were they- No, here, you can see the video right there. Or was it something pointy and short?

Yeah, that's what it was. It was like- It was? Antiques. Look, he's picking up tiny little antiques, sticking them up. He's got a kilt on. That should be your first indication.

It's so weird.

Look at that. Isn't that strange?

That's very strange.

I mean, obviously, the guy has some weird fetish, right? My tolerance for fetish extends only so far. When you're going into stores, sticking things in your ass and putting them back because you get your rocks off on that, then I think you definitely need some help.

Well, that's hurting other people. Of course it is. That's where we draw the line.

Of course, it's hurting other people. It's hurting yourself. I just watched the doctor a couple of days ago. He said, Whatever my name is, I'm an emergency room doctor, and no, you did not accidentally slip and fall and get that thing stuck in your ass. Please be honest with us because we can only help you if you tell us exactly what happened. He's like, nothing accidentally goes in your ass. You don't slip and fall. You back into a wall and get a painting in your ass or whatever he said. He's like, I see so many people coming in this emergency room over the course of a year with things stuck in their anus. There are plenty of toys, objects, approved.

Approved for anus use.

Yes. And that you can get out on your own. They can actually come back out. They have strings on them or whatever. They have large things. But he was explaining that many people come in with things stuck in their anus, but they won't tell the truth. They're like, I slipped and fell in the kitchen and I got a 75-inch stuck in my ass or whatever it is. And he goes, Please, please just be honest with us so that we can get to the bottom of it, because if you continue to lie to us, then we don't know the best way to help you. If you say you slipped and fell, there may be different injuries that we need to pay attention to besides just this thing that's now stuck in your rectum. I get it. It can get you off. But don't go into an antique store and do that for God's sakes.

No, that's just mean. Yes.

Go to Baskin Robbins. Get those little spoons, the little spoons they give you for the ice cream, and then go to your own house and do that. Do that thing. Pretend like you have your own antique shop. You know what I'm saying? Because my goodwill extends for fetishes only so far. And sticking things in your ass and putting it back on the shelf is gross and disgusting. It's going to get everybody sick.

This is how bird flu started. So I said it's hurting other people. Yes. This is how bird flu started. This is how bird flu started. Probably, that guy.

The stick of birds in your ass. Yeah.

That dude. I wouldn't be surprised looking at him.

When I saw this story, it It reminded me of the story that went around for a long time when we were kids about the gerbil in what's his name's ass. Richard Gere. Do you remember that? Yeah. I think it's been definitively been proven to be- Yes, they bombed. But that was way before social media. Somehow that story, for those of you that weren't- It was in the Enquiry or something, one of those tabloids. For those of you that weren't around back then, some story got started, maybe from The Enquirer, who knows, that Richard Gere, a legendary coxman, a a very good-looking dude who started movies back then- He was married to Cindy Crawford at the time, too. That there was some sexual play that was going on, and a live gerble was involved in it. That gerble went up his ass, then died, then he had to have surgery to have it in the mood. I remember as a third grader hearing this story and thinking to myself, wow, that's really weird that someone would want to stick a gerble in their butt.

I think that's how it spread because it was so outrageous.

It was so outrageous. It had to be true. Who would make that I mean, clearly, the National Enquiry, of course. But who would make that shit up that you would stick a live gerble in your patuti? I mean, it just sounds weird. First of all, second of all, I don't think you could actually get a live gerble in your butt. I mean, I don't know. Maybe this guy knows. Maybe the guy with the kill time.

He would know.

Yeah. Maybe you have to make a gerble house. You know those little gerble tubes that the gerbles go through? Maybe you have to connect yourself to the gerble tube and then just say, Hey, come on in.

I mean, I guess you could start there if you really wanted to try it.

But this dude is wearing a kilt. The guy who had the antiques, he's wearing a kilt. If it's not like St. Patrick's Day or you're not in Scotland and you're just walking in somewhere with a kilt and sneak around in the back of an antique store, I would be highly suspicious in the first place. I'd be like, Why is that dude lifting his kilt in the back of our antique store?

Let's go check that out. Of course, that's probably why they check the video.

Oh, yeah, you know. And thank God they did. Yes. Thank God they did. Hopefully, they decontaminated that place, too. Oh, God. I don't think they named to the antique store, so I'm not going to name it here, but that's probably for the best because I don't know about you, but if they had named the antique store, I wouldn't go to that antique store.

Because you usually do go to them.

I've been known to antique. I have been known to antique.

I've never seen you antique.

It's true. Esther and I have been to a few antique stores. Now, I don't buy antiques, but I do like those mishmash, antiquey, flea markety type places. They can be fun? Yeah, they can be fun. There's one down in the island that we like to go to. It's huge. They got like, whatever, 75 different boots.

There's one here in Atlanta that comes every month. They used to be my client at the radio station. Oh, yeah, I remember those. They're popular. Yeah. And that place is cool.

It's got a bunch of stuff. You can find a bunch of shit there. Absolutely find a bunch of shit there.

Some people just get really into the antiquing, though.

Well, and with good reason. That's their hobby. With good reason. True. Because you can literally find gold. Find some gems. Yeah, you can buy something there that could end up being worth tens of thousands of dollars or maybe more.

Or if you're into restoring things, that's true. That's true. You can buy something that looks broken down and restore it.

Do you think it's harder now to find gems, to find treasure in the trash now than it was maybe 20 or 30 years ago because of the popularity of the shows where they like Pawn Stars and- Antique Road Show. Antique Road Show. Do you think it's harder now that most, I would imagine people who do sell antiques for a living or collect antiques for a living to resale them Probably do a fair amount of investigation on everything that they get just to make sure they're not missing anything. They don't give away something they think is trash for $10. Right. I would think so. I would think so, too.

I think a lot of it may be coming, any fresh new fines might be coming from people's parents or old family members that had stuff in the attic.

Yeah, that's true. You know, like those estate sales. Yes. I've been to a few estate sales. I dated a girl who was all into the estate sale thing. Friday afternoons or Saturday, whenever they're traditionally held, we would go to an estate sale, and I went to three or four of them. It feels very strange to be walking through somebody else's house. It does. Clearly, after someone has just passed away, it's like a fresh death. You can smell death hanging in the air. Then you walk around their house and pick apart their shit. It feels very weird to me. It feels very intrusive. I don't know that I'd want that happening to me, even though I'll be dead and it doesn't really matter. But I still don't know if I'd want this.

There's big business in that, though.

Oh, yeah. There's companies that make hundreds of millions of dollars, I guess, just consignment, just selling that stuff off and getting a part of the commission. Exactly.

Well, because a lot of times this family doesn't want to deal with it. They live far away or they're too distressed. It's too overwhelming. So you hire these people that come in. They just come in and do it. Come in and do it for you.

And they take a cut? Is that how it works? They take a cut of the sales? If I did one of these in my house, clearly there'd be no money in it. Do they come in and they assess it first? Do they come into your house and go, Oh, okay, I think we can make, I don't know, $100,000 selling this shit. We'll charge 10 % or 20 %.

I don't know exactly how it works. I'm sure they do come in and look.

Can you find out for me? Can you find out for me? Yes. Because if we can- We put it in the note. Yes. If we can make some money, I might just jump out the window and then let Astrid have the- Well, the Pearl Jam poster is calling the consignment name. Well, let me tell you a funny story about the Pearl Jam posters when we get back from this break. We'll be back.

What? Oh, hi. It's Christina again. Here I would remind you to go to tcbpodcast. Com for all things audio, video, and T-C-B-D-O. Give us a follow on Instagram at the Commercial Break and on TikTok at T-C-B Podcast. And guess what? We have a new phone number. I know what you're thinking, but I promise this is the last T-C-B phone number you will ever have to remember. So call us and leave us a voicemail or text us at 212-433-3-T-C-B. Once more for the people in the back, that's 212 4333TCB. Oh, and check out our YouTube channel at youtube. Com/thecommercialbreak. That's all for now. Let's listen to our sponsors and get back to the show.

I was just seeing how long I could go sticking something in your face without you noticing. I was literally going like this the entire time.

You're the one who put on the TV. I was. And I have to turn to look at it.

I'm attention to the news. There's newsy things to be paying attention to. All right. I don't usually have the TV on while we're doing a recording, but this time there's a special- What did you say? I was showing you something, and then you don't have to make commentary on it. I was just showing you something that I felt like was cool. That is cool. Isn't that cool? All right, there we go. We'll see if it happens. We'll see if it works out.

I won't put it in the notebook.

Okay, don't put it in the notebook. Right before I tell the story about the Pearl Jam posters, I do want to remind you, Joe Dombrowski is going on tour this fall. We would love it if you would go to his website, buy tickets. Some shows are available, some shows will be available closer to the dates. But Joe is going on tour, and I highly recommend you go see him because he's really fucking funny.

He really is. I can't wait to see his show.

It's no secret, and I don't think we have ever made it a secret, that this show, while it's popular in some circles, and by circle, I mean here in the half acre that I live on, on the show. On this show, it's popular in some circles. It hasn't been a multi-billion-dollar success. Yet, we're hoping. It hasn't been a multi-billion-dollar success. So while we keep ourselves afloat during this, I thought, Okay, let's get rid of the junk. I'm like, Get rid of the junk and see if we can sell. I shared that we were selling stuff on Facebook marketplace that we didn't need, we didn't want. There's this group out there that I belong to, and it's a Facebook-related merch selling Facebook group. Now, I don't spend almost any time on Facebook, but when we were going through the house decluttering and finding stuff that may or may not be a value or that we could give to the women's shelter or whatever it is, I started looking up at the wall and I'm like, You know what, Brian? You paid so much fucking money for those stupid Pearl Jam posters. Somebody else has got to be willing to pay something related to that, too.

I got these Pearl Jam posters a number of years ago. When I got them for my birthday one year, I just had them sitting in the corner, figuring I'd do something with them eventually, rolled up in the original box, the original tube that they came in. Astrid delightfully went got six of them framed, seven of them framed, beautifully framed, black mat, the whole nine yards, beautifully framed. Then we hung them on the walls here in the studio because it's the one place Astrid knows no other, no visiting guests will go to, so she doesn't have to be embarrassed by my Pearl Jam poster. That was sweet. That was very sweet of her. They look great. They do. I said, You know what? Let me go on that one Facebook community that I know about, and let's see if I can sell a few of the ones that are not- Let's see what they're Yeah, just see what they're worth, see if I can sell them. It's like an auction-style Facebook group. You list it for sale. They call it popcorn bidding, which means you say, Hey, at 9:00 PM Tuesday, this auction ends. Then Everybody starts bidding and you say it's at 9:00 PM it ends.

Usually at 8:50, there's a flurry of activity. Basically, you comment. You make a comment, and that's your bid, and then there you go. But if someone makes a bid in the last five minutes, you have to extend it by another five minutes. Then another five minutes and then another five minutes, and it goes on and on and on until it just stops and then someone wins. Until everybody says, No more. I'm not paying $6,000 for your Pearl Jam poster that was in your dog's shitty studio, right? So I said, Okay, let me start with one that I think has some value to it. The framing alone was $200 per because to get things professionally framed is not cheap. No. I said, Okay, let me start the bidding at $250. $200 for the framing, $50 for the poster, even though I think it's worth a lot more than that. I want to make it attractive for people to jump in here. I put one on there, and I'm like, Okay. Then it says, waiting for administrator to approve your post. I thought, Okay, just a formality. I've been a part of this group for six years now.

Just a formality. I've never actually said anything in the group, but I'm an esteemed member of the Pearl Jam auction site. Let me get on that. Esteemed. Esteemed member. As if Eddie Vetter is my best friend. I'm an esteemed member of this group. Let me go in there. I put it up, waiting I'm waiting for the admin, and then I keep checking, I keep checking nothing, I keep checking, I keep checking nothing, and I put it down for a couple of days, and I come back and it says, The admin has declined to make this post. See the reasons why here.

What was the I look at the reason. I look at the reason, and one of the rules of the group is you can put any price you want the auction to start at, but don't be unreasonable.

The admins have the right to decline. You can't put a Pearl Jam pin from the the most recent concert on there for $6,000, right? It just doesn't make any sense. You're just wasting space, essentially. No one's going to bid on it. Everyone's going to laugh at you, the whole nine yards. But otherwise, a very friendly group. I've seen some of these auctions go down, and I'm like, Oh, I actually I brought a couple of these posters on a very similar auction site. I'm like, What? Unreasonable price? What? That's not unreasonable. Now I'm arguing with the admin. I'm like, Hey, dude, or whoever, Listen, I paid 200 for the framing, and I'm just starting off at 50 for the poster, whatever. The guy responds to me and he goes, Okay, bro, but you want somebody else to pay for your framing? I go, Pay for my framing. If they win, then it's their framing. What are you fucking talking about?

Yeah, it's a framed poster. It's all in one now.

So now he's just responding with this, Can't put an unreasonable price, can't put an unreasonable price, can't put an unreasonable price. And I'm really angry about this. I'm like, I I keep going back to them. I'm like, It's not an unreasonable price. I show him examples of another Pearl Jam site where they're selling the same poster for somebody bid $350 on it. It's not a ton of money, but it's something, right? And I'm like, You add that plus the framing is $550. What's so unreasonable about I'm asking less than half of that. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, I'm so angry. I'm just steaming and pacing and steaming and pacing and steaming and pacing. Until I realized, Chrissy, that the group that I have posted in has six members in it. Six members. It's been so long since I've been on Facebook, I did not remember the right group. So I tried to post it to a group that had six members in it.

Thriving group.

A thriving community of auction-related world channel materials that some Jackass and his uncle started. And obviously, no one decided to join the group because this guy's an asshole. That's what it is.

Exactly.

Here, he thought he... Then the reason why he wanted me to lower the price is because he wanted someone in the group to bid on it. I don't think he makes money on it. I think he's just being a... He has this bully pulpit. He's doing whatever he does. But man, was I so fluffed up about this? And then I'm like, I'm going to report this group. Let me look into this group. And then because the group that I bought these posters from, there's like 15,000 members in it. So I was thinking to myself, well, someone out of the 15,000 will pay at least $250 for this. But then I look and it says, six members plus you, seven altogether. And I thought to myself, how many Pearl Jam related merch Facebook groups did I join? How many did I join back in 2018? I belong to six of them. And I'm trying to bid on the one that has six members. It pissed me off. Then I go and I'm like, okay, I cool down. I chill out. I don't get all fluffed up about it. I mean, I did get fluffed up about it.

I defluff. I go to the actual- Reved down. Yeah, revved down. I go to the actual group with many, many, many members, thousands of them, tens of thousands of members. I put the same poster, and I put it for a little bit of a lower price. I'm like, Okay, got it. Here we go. I read all the rules. I'm sure I'm within guidelines here. I know how to I'm going to post this. It's like a big deal to me. I'm making my first foray into the group. I want to make- You're putting yourself out there. I want to put my best foot forward in front of tens of thousands of people. Admin, waiting to approve your post. Okay. I'm a little bit nervous that we're going to have a repeat, but I read the rules this time. I say, Auction ends 3:00 PM on Monday, blah, blah, blah, blah, It's Sunday at 2:00 PM. I'm like, There's no time for anybody to bid. What am I going to do? It hasn't even been approved yet. Then it says, Your post has been denied by the end. I'm like, What did the good fuck did I do this time?

What's wrong now? What is it now? Look at your reasons. Well, it clearly states in the rules that all auctions must end at 9:00 PM Eastern Standard Time, but I put 3:00 PM. Why? I don't know. I read the rules. I don't know why I put it. I just did. I just thought I was better than everyone else. I guess I could do mine at 3:00 PM. I want to stand out in the crowd. Mine ends at 3:00.Hurry..

Get your Benz in.Hurry..

Only one hour left. I posted it at 2:50 57. It ends at 3:00. Pay me now. Payment must be made before 3:05 PM. Oh, my God. So I got denied because of my-Oh, the timing. The timing, and then I just threw my hands in. I was like, Hey, hon, I'm just going to keep the Pearl Jam posters. I'm too embarrassed.

They mean something to you, and that's the value.

They do mean nothing to me. At the end of the day, there are so many more things in life that mean much more to me, but I do like them. I don't know. I just have some connection with them. I don't know why.

Oh, I I don't really get that.

I've either been to the show or heard about the show.

You've seen our house. I mean, we've got framed stuff all over the place from shows.

Yeah. I was going to start calling you and asking you if I could sell your stuff on the Facebook marketplace, too. I was just curious.

No. Hey, Chris, I see.

I know you got a lot of stuff in that house. You probably don't need most of it. Ask Jeff what he doesn't want. Tell him to send it on over here. I'll be happy to meet them at the local PD station at the exchange. I probably do have posters. At the Live Sperm Donation Exchange. Yeah, exactly. Oh, Oh, my God. I got the craziest Instagram messages from someone about...

The sperm? The sperm donation? The sperm donation. The Live Sperm Donation.

The Live Sperm Donation. But I'm going to save it for the next episode.

Oh, yeah.

Okay. So now that's two Instagram-related messages. I've gotten about 90 Day Fiance in a close connection to 90 Day Fiance. So there you go. Okay. All right. More information to come on the live sperm donation thing. We did get a text message. It is related to 90 Day Fiance. Somebody knows that dude. Somebody knows that dude has had interactions with that dude. You have to wait till tomorrow to check it out, but I will talk more about it.

Now I'm excited. Yeah.

I got to just figure out a way to tailor the conversation so I don't identify anybody. That's the one request. Talk about it, but don't identify me, right? So I just got to figure out how I frame this so that I don't embarrass it. I'm sure I'll embarrass somebody, but I know. I'm sure I'll fail miserably at that, too. I am just like a big oef running through knocking into walls and tripping over myself.

You're doing the best you can with what you've got.

No, this isn't the best I got. This is just what I got. It's not the best I got. This is what I got.

That's what I'm saying. Doing the best you can with what you got. That's right. That's where we're all doing that. That's right.

All right. This is what I want you to do. Go to tcbpodcast. Com. Get yourself your free sticker. All you do is hit the Contact Us button. Drop down menu says, I want my free sticker, and then you give us your address. Tell us if you want us to sign or send or whatever you want us to do. We'll try and accommodate. Put it in the email message along with that physical address, and then we'll send you the sticker. You can also find all the audio and all the video on the website, along with all of our sponsor codes, and more importantly, our guests' information. Like Joe's website, we have a link to it on the show notes of the Joe episode. Same goes with all of the guests, Margaret show, everybody. Everybody from Vierdass on. We got... Vierdass would probably rather we forget. I was going to say the same thing. One of these days we're going to have Veer back on.

We'll have it.

We're going to thank him for being so very patient with us. (laughter) (212) 4333-TCB. That's (212) 433-3822. Text us questions, comments, concerns, content ideas, or find me that possum-related content, and I'll buy you coffee for a week. I swear to God I will. Promises through Facebook marketplace at the Commercial Break on Instagram and youtube. Com/thecommercialbreak for our interviews and selected episodes. Okay, Christie, I guess that's all I can do for today. I think so. But I'll tell you that I love you. I love you. I'll say best to you. Best to you. And best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Christie and I always say we do say and we must say goodbye. He's back on the ground, boy.