God, when people tell me you're going to regret that in the morning, I sleep till noon because I'm a problem solver.

On this episode of the Commercial Break. That's weird. I just got another picture from another person named Diana. Is she your twin? He says, I don't know. Excuse me, are you Linda? And I said, This is Linda with a Y, not with an I. You know that, Diana.

Why are you asking me stupid questions? By the way, how's your mom? What are you trying to tell me? I'm sorry, it was a mistake that I added the wrong number, and I got you.

I hope you don't mind.

I said, If you continue to call me Linda with an I, I'm going to get very angry.

The next episode of the Commercial Break starts now. Oh, yeah, Kathy Kittens. Welcome back to the Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green. This is the 'Oh, possum to my 'up possum'. Chris and Joy Oatley. Best to you, Chrissy.

Best to you, Brian.

Best of you out there in the podcast universe. Yes, yes, yes, they're aliens. We know there's a long, deep divide amongst the commercial rig listeners right now about 'Oh, possum' or a possum. Then whether or not we- Or just possum. Yeah, or just possum. Or whether or not we even have possums on this earth. I want to settle everybody down. I'm not looking to divide the country anymore than it's already divided. We got enough troubles to worry about. We're not going to go ape shit over possums. But I do want to thank one of our listeners, Kaitlyn, who's a great listener, been listening for a long time, communicates with us frequently. She found the episode where we are talking about possums, and I've got that tape to roll.

It wasn't too long ago either.

No, it was less than a month ago. It was a month and a couple of days ago.

We talk so much on this show that we don't remember. We don't even remember.

I don't remember that just a month ago, we had this whole conversation about possums. I thought for sure it was years ago. I was like, Oh, she must have gone deep in the catalog and found me saying something about possums that she wasn't happy about. But no.

No, it was just like 10 episodes ago.

Ney. Yeah, it was like seven days ago.

I mean, it's crazy that we couldn't remember that. It's so insane.

We are old, Chrissy. We are old.

Again, I think we just talk so much. We do. That we can't remember.

It just flows. What are you going to do?

We're at that point in life where there's only so much information we can stuff in our brains. We're at the point in our life where four days a week is even too much for us, and we're the ones creating it.

I'm sure a lot of listeners would agree.

Shut Brian up is basically the sentiment on the Apple reviews right now.

Okay, not everyone's going to be happy.

It's not for everyone.

But those of you that don't know, Joe Dombrowski was our guest last week. Go take a listen to that episode. Joe was great. But Joe, at the end, he apparently did his homework on the commercial rate. He did. Because at the end, he said, Before I let you guys go, I have one more thing for you. I was reading your reviews and I found one and I'd like to let you know. The review basically said, I was a big fan of your show until you started talking about possums. They belong here on Earth more than humans do. I was like, Well, that's where we're at. Possums over the commercial break. It got that bad. But I could not for the life of me, Chrissy or I.

We were like, When did we talk about possums?

I had no idea. I had no idea. Well, it turns out just a week ago is when we talked about possums. I actually have that tape. I've pulled it. Do you want to hear it? Yes. Okay, this is from the episode The Kids are not All Right. I don't particularly remember what we were talking about. I don't either. But I actually think since I listened to it, I do recall us having this conversation about me saving a seagle. The bird. Yes, a baby seagle or a young seagle at the beach because it had gotten some cleaning solution for the submarine base that was down the street. It got some a cleaning solution on it that was toxic to this poor bird, and we took a 40-minute drive to go drop it off in the middle of the swamp in Florida, and that bird got loose in the car and started flying everywhere. That's where we're picking up on the conversation. Now, when I'm about to play to you- Somehow it segued into possums. Of course it did. Sounds exactly like the commercial break. Somehow we couldn't keep our train of thought. Sounds like us. That tracks.

That math is mapping. I remember that.

Yes, that math is mapping. If someone says, PhD podcast and the commercial break in the same sentence, it resonates. It tickles me in my warm spot. You know what I'm saying? Okay, so here we go. I'm going to play this for you. This is not Christie and I talking live. No, that probably about the next minute. This is actually from that episode. The Kids are not All Right, Here you go. This is what I said. This is what got this person so upset. And by the way, this person, I'm not going to name because we don't need to start some big doxing war or anything. But I'm just going to share that if you want to come on air and talk to me about this, I'd be happy to have that conversation. We would love that. I'm open-minded. I'm still not going to like possums at the end of it, but we don't have to hate each other because of it. Okay, ready? Here we go. Here's the bit of tape. I have this empathy for animals, and when I see something that looks helpless, says Brian right before he says possums shouldn't be on Earth.

Perk, I want to help it. I nurtured a squirrel once back to health. I want to help it, but I can't take all of them in and then just leave them there indefinitely. It's insane to me. I have a friend who's got basically an animal hospital going in their house any given time. There's snakes and reptiles and squirrels and possums. This is true. I do have a friend. On the other day on Facebook, when I looked at her Facebook page, she had a bird of some sort, like a brown bird, like a regular bird. You know, just a bird, the brown bird you see outside. The brown thrasher? The brown thrasher. The bird was chasing a cat around the house, packing it.

It was so crazy. Oh, that's funny.

Okay, back to the take. Raccoons are all running around everywhere. Every time I see a Facebook page, there's another fucking animal in their hands. The other day, they're petting a possum. I'm like, What are you doing? I think it's full of disease and nastiness. My goodwill stops at roaches and possums. You know what I'm saying? I don't feel bad for you. I'm sorry, I just don't because you're weird. You're like little aliens crawling around this earth, and I'm not sure you should be here. I don't know if my empathy extends that far. If you're a dog or a cat or a cute little bird, those things I want to know.

I'll swerve to miss it.

Yeah, of course you swerve to miss it.

It took me five seconds.

Yeah, you thought about that.

I was like, Yeah, yeah. Okay, first of all, you realize that Chrissy and I got to do six hours of talking a week, right? So my opinion on possums is just based on my initial reaction.

I'm trying to tell a story that turns out to be funny.

We're improv.

Yeah, we're improv. So I'm improv-ing my opinion on possums. But I do agree with myself.

I do agree with myself. That's good. You stand firm on your position.

I don't I think I said all that- The weird, weird, weird part about all of this, and we probably need to put a pin in the whole possum situation.

We've talked about it so much.

No, I'm keeping this going.

I'm going to roll this for weeks. But the weird, weird part was that right after that, there's a baby possum in my yard. I know.

That is strange.

I have never seen that before, and I had to take a picture of it and send it to Brian, and Brian goes, See, it does look like an alien.

It does look like an alien. It's got that long, weird tail. It's got those beady little eyes. But we agreed yesterday or last week on the show that babies, baby possums. Okay, we're going to give a break to the baby possums. They didn't choose to be here.

They didn't choose to be possums.

What if you're a possum in your next life now?

Oh, I know I'm going to be a possum in my next life. A possum or... I don't know. A possum or... I'm not going to say it. All right, so there's your- Thank you, Kaitlyn, for helping jog our memory. That's right. Let's wrap this argument up with Brian's not I'm not a huge fan of possums, but I would swerve to miss it if I saw it running across the street. I know it serves a purpose here on Earth, but my opinion doesn't change. I still think they look like aliens, and they're a little bit strange, and roaches and possums. I just don't care for them. So whoever made the comment, whatever your name is, whoever made that post, I welcome you on to the show. We can talk about this like adults, or at least you can talk about it like an adult, and I'll continue to be a child about it. Yeah, but possum haters unite. Here we are at the commercial break. There we go. Are you getting these I get phone calls, text messages from random people asking you if you're a certain name? Like, Hey, Bob, how are you? Been a long time.

Yeah. No, I do. I get them, and I'm assuming they're a scam, so I just block them.

Yes, they are a scam. Definitely. They're trying to get you into one of these scams where they build a relationship with you.

Oh, well, who are you? What's your name? Well, yeah. Send me some money.

Oh, my name is Chrissy. Send me your account number. We can be many happy friends if you just send me your account number. What? What did I do?

I thought we were friends.

You can't send me $5,000 Western Union? No? Okay.

Gold cards.

Send it to the Bob, care of Darjeeling Limited.

Green cards or whatever they are.

Green dot.

Green dot, gift card. Green dot, gold cards from the American Express. The FedEx, men's are on their way.

It's a plane full of money.

It's a plane full of money.

That's really funny. Was that back from our first season?

Yeah, I had had a... So one of my pastimes because I don't have enough free time because I have so much free time to be doing this. One of my pastimes was- That was back when there was just one child, I think. That was back when there was one listener.

Astrid.

The FedEx Men's are Coming, I think is the name of the episode. It's probably in the first 50 episodes, I got to imagine. But one of the things that I like to do is I don't let the opportunity go by. When a Nigerian prince wants to give me money, I take it all the way. I was sharing this with my brothers. I one time on an old email account, I one time had a two and a half year long conversation. It started at Clear channel when I worked at Clear channel. So this is going back to the... It went on long after I left Clear channel. What would happen is the guy told me he's Nigerian and he needed to get money out of the country and blah, blah, blah. I strung that guy along for two and a half years with the most ridiculous of requests, responses. I have one leg. I'm trying to get the cow to take me to the thing. My grandma will let me out of the house because she's having a bad hemroid day. I had everything under the sun. I just thought it was funny. I was entertaining myself.

What I think was actually going on, and then he would stop talking to me. He would stop sending emails for a while, and then it picked back up three months later. The thing was, I start to realize that I'm not talking to the same person. They're just selling it to the next person. See if you can get money out of this guy. See, these are big, big organizations and operations. Yeah, they are. Usually run by, you know, underworld criminal gangs, but they are run very much like a professional office. If you've ever seen these guys that professionally, not professionally, but they bust these guys on YouTube, they're like- Netflix had a whole series after it, too. I know. I'm watching these guys who invite the scammers to interact with them, and specifically the type of fishing where they will say, You need to go to this website and type in some information, and then we're going to fix your computer. We're going to get to the bottom of a bank problem. That's a big one. Sometimes I get the one that says, Did you just order this $8,500 thing on Amazon? Please log into your Amazon account.

It's like, www. Scam. Com. 2-1-india-. Com, right? Yeah. You're like, That's not Amazon. You don't never click a link that someone sends you. You don't know them. But these guys on YouTube, guys and girls, I assume, on YouTube who are fighting this scamming, what they What they do is they get engaged with the particular guy. They get them all hot and bothered that they're going to get money. Then what happens is they turn it around on the scammer. They're so good at, I guess, programming and computer stuff that they will find the IP address that the scammer is writing from, and then they will log into their cameras.

They will say, We're looking at you.

Is that you? Because I'm looking at you. And the scammers get all freaked out. It's great. It's high entertainment. It's high entertainment for 2024. I can't do that. What I do is what What I've been doing for the last couple of years, as we all are starting to get these spam text messages, trying to get you fishing. They're basically fishing for you. What I've been doing is I've been responding to them in multiple different ways and multiple different personas, just hoping I could have a good time with them, hoping I can at least distract them for a couple of days so that they don't have time to scam somebody else, right?

I like that.

I would love to go through some of these text messages with you because I think... Okay. Just to add I'll add some more color commentary to this. I understand that if they have your phone number, then your phone number has been leaked on a database of someone that could be scammed. They have more information about you. It's not just that they're randomly texting your phone number. They actually know who they're texting, likely who they're texting, where they're located, and that they have money. You have gotten it all wrong, Mr. Scammer. I don't have any money. Good luck scamming me out of any money. I don't know where you got my name and information. I don't know how much you paid for it, but it's wrong. What happens is if you respond to them once, then they pass that information along over and over and over again, hoping the next person on their scam chain can get somewhere with you. To all the frustration in the world, I have responded to so many of these people that I now know I'm in the crosshairs. They're really trying to get... Someone's trying to get money out of me, but I don't even let it go that far.

I mean, I'm never going to give them any bank account information. No, of course not. I'm just having fun with I keep on asking them questions. One time, I had a guy, and I could share this with you. If you want to go that far into it, I can share this with you. I had a guy, he texted me, I responded. Then he said, Oh, listen, I I actually have a problem. I need to get some money out of this bank account that I have, like a typical Nigerian- Yeah, it's frozen.

It's frozen. But as soon as I can, if you'll just pay me first, I'll pay you back a million dollars. That's right.

I I had him going. I got him all hot and bothered. I told him I was going to get my grandma to take me to the Walmart that I just shot myself. I needed to change my diaper. I took it all the way to Walmart, taking screenshots of other images online of Walmart's gift card racks, the manager at Walmart. I kept sending him this stuff as if I was in the Walmart myself. This guy was like, Please don't tell anybody what you're doing because then the managers will catch on and they'll want to ask you questions. Did you send it? Did Did you send it? Did you send it? It ends with me sending a picture of LongDong Silver. Half-hard, right? The guy is like, You should go to hell for all of your dirty talking. I'm like, And where are you going to go for all your dirty scamming? If I'm going to go to hell, we're going to go together, brother. You know what I'm saying?

He was sending me pictures of piles of cash. Remember?

That was way back in the day the FedEx Money's got. Yes, he was sending me pictures of piles of cash that he was loading into. A plane. A plane that they were going to send to my front door. How do you want the money? I want it in cash. Great. The FedEx men's are on their way. That's what he said. The FedEx men's are on their way. And he had a picture of someone pushing a crate full of money into a C150 cargo plane. And he was like, We wrapped it individually for you. Oh, thanks.

I appreciate that. It was awesome. I should have said, Can you Christmas wrap it for me and show me a picture? My son likes Mickey. Can you please do that? I mean, these guys, they never stop.

No. They're just as bullshitty as I am, and they're good at it. So it takes one to no one.

We go back and forth, left and right.

But most of the time it ends after five or six text messages, but I have gotten a few of them to take it pretty far. And it always ends with a picture of LongDong Silver because that's my calling card. Exactly. Here's a big dick. Take a look at it. All right, I'm going to get my phone. We'll read through some of these. I think you'll be highly entertained by this, Christie.

I think so, too. Let's do that. If I know you, I will be.

Oh, you know that when I'm sitting here at 10:00 at night editing as my children are screaming and my wife is wondering whether or not she has a husband, Brian's just responding to scam.

Brian's talking to the scammers from Indonesia.

Sending dick pics to Indonesia. If my wife ever looked at my phone, she'd be like, What are you doing? Oh, just sending big dick pics to my friends across the sea. You know how it goes.

All right, let me take a break.

I'll get my phone and we'll talk through this. We'll be back.

Well, thank the baby Jesus. Brian took a breath, and now I will use this opportunity to let you know that we've got a brand new phone number. That's right. It's 212-433-3TCB, and you can text us anytime you want, or you can call and leave us a voicemail, and we might just use your message on the show. Once Ryan gets through all the messages he missed last year, of course. Anyway, you can also find and DM us on Instagram at the Commercial Break and on TikTok at TCB podcast. And of course, all of our audio and video is easily found on tcbpodcast. Com. Now, I'm going to thank G one more time that we have sponsors. So thank G, and here they are.

It's the most anticipated WMBA season in history. So you know what that means. Court is back in session with Queens of the Court, a WMBA podcast. I'm your girl, Sheryl Swoops. And I'm Jordan Robinson. All WMBA season long, we'll bring you interviews with star athletes, analysis on your favorite teams, and lots of hot takes. Order in the Court. Follow and listen to Queens of the Court, free on the Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcast.

Okay, so I got my phone, and I just happened to get one of these before we came on air, so I thought I'd talk to you about this one. Ready? This is what made me think about this in the first place is that I've been doing this for a while. All right, so this text message, a random text message from a random, what seems like United States-based prefix, but clearly, they're not from the United States. I haven't seen you for a while, let's meet. It's great English, actually. It's pretty good. I guess they're using AI or something. I say, Oh, yes, it's been a long time. After the gerble got stuck in my anus, I didn't have much free time on my hands as they were stuck in my anus. How are you doing? I miss you so much. To which they just responded, Aren't you Isabella? I'm Eileen. I said, Yes, it's me.

It's me Isabella.

Okay, so we got that one going. We'll see how that one works out. But I've got so many more of these. Hold on one second. Anna, are you at work today? I said, Hey, yes, I am. We have 242,000 chicken anuses to test today, so my fingers are a little bit tired.

But it's almost Friday, so hopefully we get all those anuses checked in time. To which they responded, Oh, I'm sorry, my assistant left the wrong number. I hope I'm not interrupting your beautiful day. I go, Well, one of my favorite things in the world is chicken anuses. I guess it's not that bad.

I'm doing what I love.

Then I said, How are you doing? They didn't respond. I think they figured out that I was fucking around with them.

My assistant gave me the wrong number. Here we go.

Hey, Delilah.

Long time, Delilah. That's a 1927 Delilah. Hi, Delilah.

It's long time, no see. Are you free next weekend? Let's get together and have dinner. I said, Hey, Susan, I'm actually flying to Malibu to meet Ron, and then we're going to drive up the Coast to go to the winery where we're going to watch Whales in San Clemente, and then we're going to take the wagon to get service down in Barcestale.

After that, we're going to go to Hollywood to have dinner with Robbie De Niro.

I'm not available next week, but can I send my helicopter to pick you up?

Are you still Are you getting vaginal rejuvenation done at Dr. Swamp Ass? I've recently had some problems. They said, Sorry, I think I have the wrong number. I hope I didn't disturb your wonderful day. I said, No, Susan, it's me. By the way, Craig tried to send you that $12,000. Can you give me your bank info again so I can wire it? Stopped right there. Of course it did.

Oh, here's one where he says, Hi, how are you? I said, Oh, Lord, my exploding hemroids are back and my gout is flaring up.

I'm hanging there just like my balls. And he says, What are you talking about? And I said, Is this my grandson, Hogie? And he says, Do you want to suck my cock? He said that? Yes. And then he goes, I won't allow you to suck my cock because you don't deserve it. And I go, That is very nasty language, Mister. I'm going to report you to the International Council for Small Penises. Do you want me to just send you some gift cards now? Or do you want to continue the conversation?

Okay, so let's see here. There's another one down here. Okay. Hi, how are you doing? How's it going? I said, Oh, things are good, but the leakage has gotten worse.

My aunt, my aunt Delia, is dying because of a terrible llama-related accident. Thank God you called. I need a ride to the veterinary.

Oh, here it is. Okay, here's one of them. It says, Hi, how are you? And I said, Not good.

And then it says, Hi, I'm Diane.

Nice to meet you. And she sends a picture of a beautiful Asian woman. Right. Three pictures in a row, actually. Same picture. And by the way, I put this in Google. Images? Images, and it came up a million different places. And I said, That's weird. I just got another picture from another person named Diana. Is she your twin? He says, I don't know. Excuse me, are you Linda? I said, This is Linda with a Y, not with an I. You know that, Diana.

Why are you asking me stupid questions? By the way, how's your mom? What are you trying to tell me? I'm sorry, it was a mistake that I added the wrong number and I got you.

I hope you don't mind.

I said, If you continue to call me Linda with an I, I'm going to get very angry. I asked you how your mom She said, She's good. Thank you. Are you a woman? And I said, I'm a woman, 89 years old with a dog named Francine. But Francine isn't doing so well. She got her back leg stuck in her ass. And I don't have a ride to the vet. Can you help? And she says, Oh, I'm so sorry to hear about your dog, but I would like to be friends. And I said, Only my friends, my friends would know how to spell Linda. She never responded. Oh, this is so much fun.

That was a newbie, I think.

Yeah, that one went on a little too long.

These It's become like every day.

It's just, that one, Cornelius, I didn't respond to that one. Cornelius. Cornelius. I want to find the one that I went all the way to. Thank you for choosing. No. That's Angie's List, which is almost as bad as these guys.

That thing's still around?

Yeah, it is actually. They're now called angi. Com, and they're actually a sponsor of the show. I actually use them. This is not an advertisement, but I've actually used Angie, and sometimes they're lickety split quick and you get someone good. Okay, here it is. It's a really nice weekend. Let's go for an outdoor trip tomorrow. What do you think? I said, Oh, that would be great. I'm taking the Learjet back home in a few hours. Hey, I wanted to send you some money for your trip. Can I get you americanexpressgold. Gif cards? Does that work for you? What's your address again? I want to make sure that that gets to you quickly. That $10,000 doesn't need to go. He says, Just send it to the White House presidential palace. To which I send him a picture of a guy holding a dong in between his ass cheeks.

I said, I put this in there, too. I hope this brings you many happy holidays.

The The presidential White House Palace?

The presidential White House Palace, clearly from the United States.

Oh, my gosh, Christie. I love these. Anytime you get them, send them to me. I will. So that I can respond. Give me the number. So that I can respond. Finally, Hi, Jenny. I'm traveling to Atlanta to marry next month. Would you like to come with us? I said, Oh, yes. I just need a chair for my dog. My dog doesn't do so well on the floor, so I'm always having to roll it around in a chair. She says, Oh, my God. I'm sorry. I think I entered the wrong digit. I hope I'm not disturbing you. I said, You're more disturbing the dog than you are me. As the dog got scared and jumped on the floor, now I'm afraid he's dying. Do you have a veterinary phone number? And he or she says, I'm sorry, I don't understand what you're talking about. I said, You don't know what a chair is?

She said, Yes, but I think I have the wrong phone number. I said, No, you must definitely have the right phone number. I'm just wondering if you know what a chair is. I think I have the wrong phone number, but I'd like to be friends. Would you like to be friends? Oh my God. I said, If my dog survives the floor, I might call you back.

That was pretty specific, too.

I'm going to the wedding in Atlanta.

Yeah, and they said Atlanta, so they clearly knew where I was, if that makes sense. Here's when I didn't I wish I would have. Hi, Daisy. Do you have time to travel for Italy together over the Christmas holidays? I said, Oh, my God, you know what's crazy? I'm in Italy right now. I came to Rome to check out the opening of Guy Fieri's new chicken wing and tuto salad.

Buffet. Have you ever smelled Guy Fiery? He smells like Drakar Noir, chicken wings. When are you coming? And she says, Oh, I'm sorry. Isn't this Daisy from Thailand? And I said, No, but I do happen to have a Thai food place right down the street from my house. Would you like to meet there? And she says, I'm sorry. I looked up Daisy's phone number and found yours.

I guess it's very close to Daisy's phone number.

Oh, yeah. A person in Thailand. My land has a very close phone number as you. Yeah, that's right.

So she says, or he or she says, So I sent the wrong message. I hope I didn't bother you. And I said, Oh, no, no bother at all.

I haven't had human contacts in almost three years. I said, I came to Italy, but I've been locked in the room by my parents. And she said, Oh, no, I'm not trying to talk to a child. Are you an adult? I said, It depends on what you call an adult. I have hair on my penis, so my mommy says that makes me an adult. Oh my God. No response after that.

Oh, Chrissy.

Oh, this is so much fun.

I wish we could do these all day I don't. Hi, Cornelius. Cornelius and Delilah. Cornelius and Delilah seem to be popular names with these. It's Emily, the veterinarian. My pet is sick. Are you free right now? Things are bad now.

Can you come to my house?

Wow.

I said, No, unfortunately, a man just walked in with his head stuck in a horse ass. This could be a while. Please send me pictures of your sick pet, and I'll do my best to help you. To which they said, Oh, I'm sorry, I think this might be the wrong phone number. And I said, How many other people, how many other vets have a similar phone number? Don't waste my time or I'll have to charge you for the missed appointment. I love it.

I had no idea you were carrying on with all these people.

Oh, here's one. Hello.

I'm Vanessa.

Anna, you ordered a painting last week. It's finished. Do you have time to pick it up for tomorrow? I said, Oh, that must be my mom. She has had my phone, and I've been in the hospital with painful propriism from all the video chatting.

She says, Do you have time to pick it up this afternoon? Wish you a speedy recovery. I said, Sure. What's your address?

She says, Anna, don't you know who I am?

Don't you know where I live?

You often order from my shop. I said, Oh, that's my mom. She's been doing the online shopping, but she has clito-propriety from taking the blue meds. I have to do it because I have hyperhemeroid ceta.

I thought it would be a help since my soft schlung disease is Really bothering me. But this must be a big mistake. Her schlong is different than mine. Okay, do you use Telegram?

They said that? Yes.

Okay, do you use Telegram? They completely ignored what I just said.

Okay, do you use Telegram?

I said, My mom might be using Telegrams.

I think that's the way she talks to people when she was young. I don't know how to do a Telegram. She says, No, download Telegram on the app store. There's a bunch of interesting little stickers on it. We can have interesting conversations.

I said, Oh, my mom doesn't allow me to download those things. When I turned 30, she gave me my own phone, but I can't download anything.

But I do have a PayPal, and I could send you money.

Just ask.

And she says, No, thanks. Tell me when you have time to pick up the painting. And I said, As soon as my mom recovers from her clito Pick up a painting.

I mean, it's so strange.

What? Pick up a painting? Chrissy, everybody's got to pick up a painting.

Don't you understand?

But also, go ahead and get on Telegram.

What's that? Yeah, go on Telegram, where nothing can be tracked or traced.

That thing cuts both ways, my friend. You know what I'm saying?

I thought there was going to be... There was one more that I wanted to share with you. Oh, as promised, here's your Delta Airlines thing, to which I said, I never fly Delta. Hey, are you Dominic Martha? To which I said, No, I'm Martha Dominic, but you almost got it right.

They said, Oh, I'm sorry. I must have gotten the wrong phone number. And I said, Did you really? They said, Yes, I'm so sorry to ruin your beautiful day.

God, there's like a script. I know.

And I said, No, no problem. I'm just here trying to get my wife pregnant.

Do you want pictures? And the guy said, Fuck you. You could have so much fun with these guys. That's true. So much fun with these.

Why don't we do this?

I'll forward you mine.

Okay, forward me yours. Just give me the phone number and tell me what they said, and then I'll respond to them from my phone, and they'll be totally confused. Don't be like, Hey, I just got this text message on my other line.

Is this Anna? What's that?

Is this Anna? Is this Anna? Is this Delilah? Is this Dominic Martha? No, it's Martha Donna.

Cornelius. Cornelius. Cornelius. Delilah. I think Open AI is going sideways on this one. I really do.

By the way, do you like my third-grade responses?

Oh, yes, I'm here testing chicken anus.

Yes, they're amazing.

What does my mind always go to the anus?

I don't know. It's just one of those things.

I wonder if Nobody out there does this, too. I mean, I can't be the only one that has fun with these. No. They're going to come anyway. Somebody's got my number. It leaked somewhere. If it leaked somewhere, then I'm just going to expect that this is going to come. What I usually do is after a period of time, then I'll report it as junk. I'll just go back, I'll block it, and I'll report it as junk. That's not going to stop them from getting new phone numbers. I mean, for God's sakes, there's a million different apps that you can get burner phone numbers from. You can use those things left and right. Don't ask me how I know that, but might have something to do with the show. But I'm just saying. That's right. One of these days, I'm going to break out that old... Because I printed it out and I actually gave it to, I think, my brother one time for Christmas. I put it in a box, I wrapped it, and it was like seven pages of emails back and forth between me and this guy from back in 2008 or whatever it was.

He was a little pissed about the present that was not there when he opened up the box. He's like, What the fuck is this, Brian?

You're My brother. My brother.

I said, Listen, it's just me being funny. He got a little fluffed, but he took it home. Two weeks later, he was like, I just took the time to read through most of this.

I got to be honest, it's really fucking funny. They are. He's like, They're trying so hard. And I was like, I know. Can you see how frustrated they're getting? Can you see?

You know what this reminds me of? This reminds me that we have not actually checked Nextdoor in a while. The Nextdoor app. Maybe we should go ahead and see what's up on Next door. What do you think? I like it. All right. We're going to have, I guess, a Tomfoolery-related episode, as they always are. I love it. Let's take a break, and then we'll be back. What?

Oh, hi. It's Christina again, here to remind you to go to tcbpodcast. Com for all things audio, video, and T-C-B-D-O. Give us a follow on Instagram at the Commercial Break and on TikTok at T-C-B podcast. And guess what? We have a new phone number. I know what you're thinking, but I promise this is the last T-C-B phone number you will ever have to remember. So call us and leave us a voicemail or text us at 212-433-3-T-C-B. Once more for the people in the back, that's 212-433-3TCB. Oh, and check out our YouTube channel at youtube. Com/thecommercialbreak. That's all for now. Let's listen to our sponsors and get back to the show.

Okay, for those of you that don't know, about a week, week and a half ago, Atlanta had two, three major water main breaks. Tell me more about this.

No, five.

Five? Yeah, they just were happening all- I don't read local news, so I'm totally clueless about this. Because I don't live in the city of Atlanta proper, I don't get any of those notifications or anything like that. But so what happened?

Yes, there were a couple of water main breaks, and Businesses had to close. People had no water. We had water, but- Did you have to boil it? Yes, it was all boil water advisory, and this went on for days. Then there was just another one. In total, I think there's been six or seven.

But why? Is Is there an explanation for this? I know. Was there water pressure went wild or something?

I don't know. Yeah, they haven't come out with that yet. These pipes are like 100 years old.

Oh, yeah, more than 100 years old. Here's a little story, and this is a piggyback on the next door stuff. I'm prefacing this because I want you to know that some of these next door related posts have to do with the water. But I'll say this is that Atlanta has been notoriously behind on updating its sewer and water and sewage systems. So much so much so. That Back when we won the Olympics, the '96 Summer Olympics, to come here in Atlanta, I forget, the Environmental Protection Agency started fining the city of Atlanta like $50,000 a date for years because they were dumping raw sewage into the Chattahoochee River.

Chattahoochee, yeah, that's right.

Because they did not have a sewage treatment plan for all the sewage, given the growth of the city on the back of the announcement that the Olympics was coming here. That's really when the city boomed. In Google Earth, you can do a time-lapse. Yeah, that's right. It goes back as far as 1986, I think it is. If you watch 1986 through 1996, the city goes fucking apes. It's like it goes from a smallish, medium-sized city to a huge city in just a decade. It's crazy. But Atlanta had to get their shit together by the 1996 Olympics, or the EPA was going to do something about it, I don't know. But I remember it being a big deal. We got our shit together, and they've been doing water- Patched, other things. Patched, other things, put steel plates on. Here in Atlanta, we fix roads by putting big steel plates that kill your tires. There are great things about Atlanta, and I do love our city, but just like every other city and other cities who have had much more serious water problems, like lead in the water. Where is that? Detroit. Detroit, yeah. So far, we've avoided that disaster.

But to have five or six water mains break overnight.

Business has had the aquarium. My nephews came in town. We were supposed to go to the aquarium. The aquarium had to close on a Saturday when school's out.

Can you imagine the money? They had to drain the water out of the aquarium to feed the rest of the city. Is that right? I don't think so. Is that how the story goes? Okay. All right. Just checking. Yeah, but that's an interesting question.

How did they get that first water? But restaurants closed. People didn't have... I mean, whole neighborhoods did not have any water.

Yeah, there were city councilmen who were trying to get special provisions to pay businesses that were unable to make money because of this. This went on for four, five, six days in some cases. Nextdoor is going crazy about this. Of course, I don't live in the city proper, so it really has nothing to do with where I live. We did not have a boil water advisory, and Nextdoor is local. Have you ever been on the Nextdoor app?

Yeah, you have to put your address in and get confirmed.

Yeah. Then there's a 10-mile radius that it will send you the news unless you request to put it out. But I don't play with the settings on Nextdoor because I only read it for entertainment. The one post I made on Nextdoor got 650 responses, all All of them terrible. Every person was basically a moron. What did you say? I don't even want to share it here because I don't want to get everyone on that end of the... It was early on in the pandemic, right? I made this... Some lady was having trouble. Something was going on. Because of the pandemic, there was trouble. She needed something, she couldn't get something, she was sick. I think I copied and pasted it and I said, Now is the time to come together as neighbors. We all band together. We can get through this if we just a little bit of love and a little bit of care. I think this is like right first, second, third episode. I know we had started doing the podcast, but I just put this heartfelt, We should help this lady and we should help each other because it's a scary time for everybody.

Well, I didn't know the average age of the next door user was 99 years old, and they had certain philosophies about life that didn't include caring about giving a shit about anybody else in this world. Wow. Because they were like, Fuck this fake pandemic and fuck this. They were literally going crazy. There was a couple of people in there who were like, Well said. We should help, blah, blah, blah. But most people, it was just a platform for them to get on their high horse and talk about all the problems that the Democrats caused, I guess. I guess that's what they were trying to say. Okay, so I never posted on Next door again because I realized quickly that this was not my scene. These were not the people. This is not my vibe.

Instead, he jumped on Clubhouse.

Instead, I jumped on Clubhouse house to realize it was my vibe, but everybody else left.

It's like going to the party.

It's like you walked in with a turd hanging out of your ass.

Everybody left. It's like he took his shit on the floor, I swear to God. We got in there. Everything was great for a two months, and then just shut down. I don't know what happened. That clubhouse, man.

Oh, that clubhouse. That was your thing for a while.

There's got to be a documentary made about that. There has to be. There needs to be.

Yes.

Somebody has to get to the bottom.

The rise and fall of Clubhouse.

The rise and three-month fall of the best social media app that never was.

I know.

It was like an illusion.

It had all that valuation, and people were just got billions of dollars. Billions of dollars. Getting out over clubhouse. And then...

Freaking out, Chrissy. They were freaking out. I mean, at first it was invite-only. I got an invite early on. I joined right when it started to get some traction, but I didn't know much.

For those of you that don't know, it was an app that you would talk.

Audio social.

It was just audio social.

Yeah. It was like a Zoom call on an app without video. Basically, your little avatar would be in a room, and then there would be speakers up above and the audience down below. This person who was hosting the room could pull people up to speak, or they could push people down back into the audience if they were done speaking or just didn't like them or whatever. It became this whole fucking thing. I mean, there was traumas and problems.

I know. You were hosting. I mean, that was fun. You were hosting some comedy nights type things, right?

It depends on who you asked if I was hosting or if they were hosting. It depends on who you asked. But I had this idea to start the Comedy Podcast Group, right? Yeah. I started the Comedy Podcast Group. We hooked up with this guy named Eddie Brill, who booked David Letterman's comedians for years and years and years. Eddie was like a stallwart of the comedy community. Everybody who was famous, who was a notable comedian, had at some point with Eddie because of his position with David Letterman. So Eddie, all credit to Eddie, not to anybody else. No one else interviewed anybody. No one else made those phone calls. No one else connected this. Just to be clear about this, I want to set the record straight. Eddie said, Let's get Bill Burren. Let's get... Who else? There was Susie Essman from Curve Your Enthusiasm was on there. There were some good people. Who's the Boston comic that everybody loves? The guy, Shit, he wears a hat. He talks really in low tones, like very monotone. Steven Wright. Steven Wright was on there. But what broke Clubhouse was the Bill Bur interview, and it almost broke me.

It was fucking insane. There were thousands and thousands of people in that room. Anyway, I say this to say the Clubhouse was a thing for a minute, and we were on it, and then it was as if poof, poof, it just went away. It just went away. Sorry, no more Clubhouse. Oh, I guess we're not doing this anymore. We went from having 800 people in a room to having 8 people in a room, basically overnight.

Well, what it morphed into then was a lot of conspiracy theory stuff.

Yeah, it always does.

Yeah, it does.

Okay, give me. Okay, let's read Dexter Apps. Here we go. Okay, enough with the Clubhouse. I don't want to get into it. Okay, I have heard about all the trouble with Atlanta water. I think this is because we have a black mayor.

Oh, my God.

You don't even live in the fucking city and you're going to be racist by default? That's fucking insane. Oh, my God.

And they don't take it down? I mean, it's just incredible.

Okay, we're starting off with a one banger.

This is my cat, Andre. Andre needs fresh water. Do I have to boil? Living nowhere near the boilwatery advisory. I found this. I'd like to alert all Brookhaven I saw this snake in the park the other day. I think it's because of the water main break. You think the snake came out because of the water main break? And thank you for alerting all Brookhaven residents. Brookhaven is like 20 square miles.

Don't be more specific or anything. Don't worry about the snake's path.

Is it a big snake?

What's that? Is it a big snake? It actually is a big snake. It looks like the snake that I put in the river one day.

So it's Well, maybe it is. Hey, maybe got stuck in the thing. I don't know.

Black lab looks lost. I don't want to approach.

That's since this picture of a black lavador about 300 yards away. Yes. That black lamp looks lost. I don't want to approach.

I'm looking for office person one day a week, Tuesdays, 4 to 6 hours.

Medical clinic. No more information. That's We have a bathroom wall with a lamp that needs repair. Thanks in advance. No problem.

So I just moved and have some appliances I need to buy. Overall, what would you say my next step should be?

Oh my God.

Go look at appliances. Yeah, yeah. Chrissy, I don't even have to look too hard for these. This is insane.

Okay. I am recently going to be in the city for a while on business and would like someone to look over my cat.

Any good recommendations for interesting places to visit? What's a picture of cat?

Look over my cat.

Look over my cat.

Don't look under. Look over my cat. No. Looking for recommendations in the John's Creek area.

Thanks. Looking for what recommendations.

Just recommendations. Yes.

Lost Kitty found.

I caught him in a humane trap.

A humane trap.

Oh, look. Nightranger.

Photo by Chuck. Simple as picture of lead singer of Nightranger. Sister Christian, I'm a lonely one.

It's just a picture of that singer?

That's it. That's all they do. Okay. Looking for outside membership to tennis. Okay.

Okay, great.

We had a couple of visitors yesterday.

It's like no one has a computer. It's like they don't- But they have a computer in their hand. It's their phone.

It's like they don't speak proper English or something. They're just making weird sentences. Has anyone ever had experience with angel... Oh, no, this is not a funny one, never meant. Looking for bubble wraps in other packing materials. Do you know where I could get?

Oh, my God. Fennex. Com? I don't know. Any peeps have good contacts for a criminal attorney? Thanks.

I love your reaching out on next door for a criminal attorney.

We need to get our dryer out of our house.

Any suggestions for a reputable company who does this to get your dryer out of your house?

Okay, Okay, I guess that's… At least it's giving some more information. Oh, this one is funny. I read this one the other day. I realized that if I needed to take my cat, God forbid, to an emergency vet, I have no clue where to take her. I just recently went to emergency vet.

What?

Near my house. Any suggestions? What? You just realized you have nowhere to take her, but you just recently took her. She took her. Yes.

Key found. It's a picture of Key.

No other information. Where?

Oh, this is cute. Yeah, this is cute.

Sweet robo hamster. Sweet robo hamster?

Robo hamster? What's a robo hamster? I don't know, but color me interested. This could be fun.

Sweet robo hamster looking for a forever home. How long do gerbals last?

Honestly, forever home? It's not a fucking toucan. It's not going to live 200 years old. What is this, a sea turtle? No, it's a hamster. Okay.

Comes with cage full of A bag full of food my daughter never plays with, and I feel bad.

It's low maintenance, and the cage tends not to smell.

If someone is planning on getting a small pet for their family, this could be a great opportunity to to save money.

Because they cost so much.

I know. This is a very tiny hamster, so it's not for young children. Okay, thanks, Kelly. Actually, I probably would have taken that. It looks like somebody has already responded to that.

That could have been like a little rat.

Yeah. Looking for a fun bus to take 30 older adults to the winery in October.

Looking for a fun bus.

To take older adults. 30?

You're looking for a bus to take 30 older adults to the winery in October. Please no stripper bus suggestions.

Stripper bus? Where is there a stripper bus? Is he like with a poll? Yes.

Oh, my God.

This used to be My Favorite Ice Cream Dessert. That's a picture of a box from 1928 called Ice Cream Cake Roll.

Oh, the Ice Cream Cake Roll was good. Does Anybody else like the band Kiss? Looking to start a fan club.

Wow. Wow. Yours is way better than mine.

Oh, Chrissy. You just said you have younger people living down there.

I guess that's what it is.

Yamaha keyboard doesn't work, but you're welcome to have it.

I'm calling immediately. That's what I'm looking for. A broken keyboard? Yeah, I'm looking for more shit in my house that doesn't work. I got a room full of it called the studio. I'm not looking for additional stuff. Looking for someone to replace cabinet door, expose hinges, and hidden hinges.

Please make sure I talk to the manager.

Please make sure I talk to the manager. Oh, this is so much fun.

Grilled kilbasa, lunch special till noon. Ios 17 has me a little bit confused.

Where did my photos with my husband go? What are you fucking talking about, lady? I love it.

Here's one. Oh, this is crazy. This is like, classic. Can anyone recommend a gutter cleaning service? My husband recently fell off the roof trying to do it himself, and I refuse to let him give it a second try.

This may be a stretch since it's not in the area, but anyone have recommendations for a farm house where I can bet the chicken? That's what you're saying. I can bet the I bet the chickens. I bet the chickens. I think you probably don't bet chickens. I'm just taking a wild guess. I haven't been around too many chickens myself, but... Oh my God.

Wow. That's too much fun. I need to go through mine.

We need to go through all.

Oh, mine are not as good as yours for sure.

Oh, I wish that I could just do a whole podcast about Next Door. That is funny. That gave me the laugh I was looking for. I woke up wound up this morning and I needed something to decompress me a little bit.

We need to pet some chickens. Yeah.

Well, you can pet my chicken. You can choke my chicken, too, if you want.

Check with Jeff on that one first. Yeah, I will.

Oh, Man, I'll tell you what. Okay, thanks to Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn's got her week's worth of coffee for doing us a favor. We certainly appreciate it. If you have any of these scammer text messages and you've been responding or you'd like someone to respond, send me the information. Do it on our phone line, 212 433 3TCB. That's 212 433 3 822. Toll free from anywhere in the world. Don't worry, we'll pick up the charges. You can leave a voicemail or you can send us a text message, which is what 95% of the people do. And so many of you texting us, and we really appreciate it. Sometimes it takes a day or two to get back, but we got some great listeners out there. I mean, you guys are wonderful, and we certainly do appreciate it. And then we have some shitty listeners out there, too. But I guess you got to take the good with the bad, right? You have to. You absolutely do. So comments, questions, concerns, content ideas. Ask Brian's mom. My mom's coming back on the show. I think next week, maybe. My mom's coming on the show. So ask for mom's advice.

I miss her, too. She's feeling better, so you can ask for my mom's advice, no matter what it is, sex, drugs, rock and roll, she'll take it all. She dealt with me. Exactly. She's seen it all. Trust me. There's nothing. You're not going to throw any curveballs her way. If you would like to be on the show, tell the story, ask a question, whatever is, let us know. Hit us up on that text message hotline, 212-4333-TCB. Tcbpodcast. Com. That's where you go. You find out more information about the show, all the audio, all the video, and your free sticker. Hit the Contact Us button. Give us your physical address, and we will send you a sticker. Guess what, Christie? What? It's really coming true. It's really coming true. It's really coming true. We put it in the book, and it's going to come true. Merch drop soon. Oh, I can't wait. Aster is working on it right now. Stay tuned at the Commercial Break on Instagram, T-C-B podcast on TikTok and youtube. Com/thecommercialbreak. Thanks, Dr. Phil. I feel like Dr. Phil would use next door. I'm just sharing. All right. Okay, I guess that's all I can do for now.

I think so. I'll tell you that I love you. I love you. Best to you. Best to you. And best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Christie and I always say, we do say and we must say goodbye. I take a dick and keep on licking.