You're listening to Comedy Central.

From the most trusted journalist at Comedy Central, it's America's only source for news. This is The Daily Show with your host, Desi Leiden. Welcome to The Daily Show.

I'm Desi Leiden. He's got so much to talk about tonight. Donald Trump manages to make Elon Musk seem normal. Kamala Harris has a secret admirer, an Olympian gold medalist, Gabby Thomas is here. Let's get right into it with another installment of Indecision 2024. Donald Trump is trying to reach out to undecided voters, but he also knows that sometimes you got to work the base. Luckily, there's one place where all the far-right mouth breather s come together, Twitter or X if you're nasty. What could go wrong?

Overnight, former President Trump holding a free wheeling, albeit glitch-filled conversation on X with its owner, Elon Musk.

Technical issues delaying it from the start for more than 40 minutes. Musk blaming a so-called denial of service attack, saying the massive attack illustrates there's a lot of opposition to people just hearing what President Trump has to say, that we provided no evidence of such a cyber attack. I think it's pretty obvious at this point, this is the deep state.

That's right. Only the deep state could make Elon Musk's website suck. Just like they're to blame for making his cars look like a DeLorean whose mom smoked during pregnancy. But if there's a deep state trying to silence Donald Trump, you suck at your job, okay? Because he is the opposite of silent. There is no one more unsilent than Donald Trump right now. Hey, deep state, look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Do better. Do better. But eventually, they solved the technical issue and got the conversation going. Although it sounded like the glitch had moved from the Twitter servers directly to Trump's mouth.

I want to close up Department of Education, move education back to the states, where states like Iowa, where states like Idaho. You know, not every state will do great.

What is happening in his mouth? I know the guy's big on slurs, but this is next level. He said it. Look, I know his speech was distracting, but did Sylvester Trump over here just say that he wants to close the Department of Education? Think this through, Trump, without schools, where are you going to ban books from? Think, think. It's weird he's even talking about sending teachers to the gulag because Trump has more popular policies. Like, proposal to end taxes on tips, which is so popular that Kamala Harris now says that she supports it, and Trump is not happy about that.

No tax on tips, and all of a sudden, she's making a speech, and there will be no tax on tips. I said that months ago. Then all of a sudden, for politics, she comes out with what I said.

Look, to be fair, Kamala did copy Trump's no tax on tips idea, which would make it the first time in history that a woman got credit for repeating a man's idea. We did it, girls. And she didn't stop there. Kamala also completely ripped off his idea to lead in the polls by three points against a rapidly deteriorating candidate. That was his thing. Now, obviously, Trump did his fair share of dragging Kamala during this interview, but there were also moments that he took it in a surprising direction.

I have a picture of her on Time magazine today. She looks like the most beautiful actress ever to live. It was a drawing. Actually, she looked very much like our great first lady, Melania. But of course, she's a beautiful woman, so we'll leave it at that.

Someone has a crush. I'm Where did this come from? Did he have a sex dream about Kamla that he just can't shake and now everything feels different?

He can't focus on anything.

He's just going through Time magazine looking for a centerfold. Look, either way, I think we finally found the one thing Trump is incapable of lying about. If he thinks someone is hot, he'll say they're hot. He'll lie about winning an election, but he has deep respect for the sanctity of bangability. That's noble. That's a noble thing. But maybe my favorite part of the entire interview is when Donald Trump told the story of how he threatened Vladimir Putin not to invade Ukraine in the most 1990s way.

I said to Vladimir Putin, I said, Don't do it. You can't do it, Vladimir. You do it. It's going to be a bad day. You cannot do it. I told him things, that what I do. He said, No way. I said, Way.

No way. Oh, way. Where have I heard that high-level diplomatic language before? No way. Way. Yes. Wayne's World. Wayne's World. It's like Wayne's World, except the wigs have gotten a lot worse. Now, if we believe Donald Trump, and I always do, his conversation with Vladimir Putin went no way, way. And apparently, he spoke to many other world leaders with the same linguistic spirit.

So Putin said no way, and you said way? That's right. And then he said, But I want to invade Ukraine. But I said, Vladimir, do not go in there. And he said, All righty then. And I said, Hello, Newman. Right. Voter fraud is worse than ever, they're taking ballots and they're making copies. Then Shinzo Abe calls me and I pick up and I say, What's up?

What's up?

What's up? No, you're not saying it right. What's up? When I was President, the economy wasn't just booming, it was smoking. But then Joe Biden wrecked the economy, and all you can say is, Did I do that?

Yes, and he said, Got any cheese?

No, you're not doing it right. So Erdoğan asked me, Who is this? And I go, My wife? No, Sadatang. That's from Poody Tang. You ever see Poody Tang? No, it didn't get to South Africa. Oh, it holds up, man. Come over tomorrow and we'll watch it. That sounds smoking. You're really sad of this. When we come back, we'll recap the Olympics. It'll go away. Welcome back to The Daily Show.

The 2024 Olympics just ended. With the traditional Tom Cruise jumping off a building, for a full recap of the beauty and grace of the games, we turn to Sports War. You're ready to go. It's time for Sports War.

But you by What's up, idiots?

I'm Roy Chang.

And I'm Michael Costa. This is Sports War, the show where we are legally not allowed to agree with each other.

So if I say I love baguettes.

Then I say, Fuck you, croissants for life. And if I say that the best French new wave director is Goudard.

Well, then I say, Fuck you. Truffaut's movies were just as revolutionary but more accessible to a wider audience.

Shut the fuck up, you Philistine. Now that the 2024 Paris Olympics are over, you'll probably miss watching women's beach volleyball every day in your office. Learn how to knock, Roni. But another highlight was the utter dominance of USA men's basketball.

Lebron James, Kevin Durant, and Steph Curry teaming up in a thrilling gold medal game against host country France, winning by 11 points.

It's everything I imagine and more.

We all signed up for this mission to continue You USA basketball dominance.

That's right. Suck it, France. Pack your bags and go back to wherever it is that you came from. This just proves America is the best at the sports that we invent.

Costa, you drooling moron. America should be embarrassed that you only beat France by 11 points. You basically lost. That score should have been 270 to 12. These players shouldn't even be allowed back in the country. Hey, LeBron James, you stay in France and you think about what you just did.

Roni, I where putting you on TV feels like a make a wish, all right? Not only did Steph and LeBron dominate, but they found a way to make it entertaining against a weak opponent. And believe me, it takes real skill to put on a great show, even when you're out there with a smaller inferior co-host.

Costa, you're the Thierry Halliburton of this team, okay? Only 1% of our audience even knows who you are.

Well, you're like the Sun River, just filled with diarrhea, which brings us to our Costa's big balls Bed of the Night. Which river will Roni Chang mysteriously drown in? As always, brought to you by gambling. Remember, you're not you when you're not gambling.

Moving on to an unexpected Olympic showdown. It was the return of the world's fastest man against the world's fastest virus.

It was supposed to be a golden moment for US sprinter Noah Lyles. This is where he gets to show his speed. But instead, the 27-year-old failed to take the lead in the 200 later event, finishing with a Bronze medal. He embraced fellow racers before he knelt to the ground, appearing to struggle for breath. After the race, Lyles revealed he tested positive for COVID two days earlier but decided to still compete.

What an incredible accomplishment for Noah Lyles, and an incredible embarrassment for the people who trained every day for four years and lost to a guy with fluid in his lungs. Why don't you just keep running off the track and right into traffic?

Roni Like my negative COVID test this morning, you couldn't be more wrong. This was an absolute disaster for the whole world. He won an Olympic medal with COVID and ruined the last valid excuse we all had to miss work. Your shitty boss is going to be like, If no Liles can run 200 meters with COVID, then you got to keep teaching these CPR classes.

Which brings us to Ronny's Bigger Ball's Bed of the Evening. Which disease will Michael Costa get next? Brought to you by gambling. Gambling It will fix everything. Let's move on to the athlete from down under that everyone is talking about and sure to be this year's most popular Halloween costume.

Australian breaker, Ray Gunn, went viral for her memorable routine.

Rachel Gunn, the B-girl from Australia, failed to score a single point during her Olympics competition, going head to head with some of the world's best breakers during the Sports Olympic debut. Her signature moves include the sprinkler and the kangoo hop.

Regan actually has a PhD in breakdance and was Australia's only woman to qualify for the Olympics.

Wow.

Thank you, Australia. That was inspirational. She's the Australian breakdancing, Jamaica bobsled team of the French Olympics. She was so bad with so much confidence. Some experts are speculating that she had Roni Chan syndrome.

I hope that Turkish guy shoots you in your stupid face, right? This was a terrible moment for the Olympics, for Australia, for descendants of criminals, for dancers, for kangaroos, for white people that want to be black. It just shows you the pathetic level of talent in Australia. You fit in perfectly, Costa.

Fit in a country of tall, tan, hot people? When I say, Good day, mate. Finally, as we say goodbye to the Paris Olympics, let's take a look at the final medal count. Look at that. 126 medals. The United States has clearly won the Olympics. Usa all the way. Oh, no. What's that? Singapore has only won one medal? Hey, Roni, where did you grow up again?

Costa, you're a bigger dick than that French Pole Votre's actual dick. If you factor in population size, the US actually finished 59th in medals per capita. And by that metric, you know who performed almost 50 times better than the US? Grenada.

Roni, you idiot. It's pronounced Canada. Learn the language. Bringing us to our free ball in College Fun quadrupler Bed of the Evening. Which country that Roni grew up in will embarrass themselves in the 2028 Olympics? Brought to you by Gambling. It's not an addiction, if you win.

All right, we're out of time.

Join us next time on Sportswear. Well, we're going to debate if Simone Biles is so good, why isn't she taller?

Oh, you're taller. You suck. What's your point? I look like shit.

You're taller than I look. Shut up for a second.

Shut up for a second. Welcome back to The Daily Show.

My guests and I just returned from the Paris Olympics after winning three gold medals for Team USA. Here, please welcome Gabby Thomas. Congratulations. You must be over the moon. Good Lord. Three gold medals, one gold in the 200 meters sprint, another gold in the 4 by 100 relay, another gold in the 4 by 400 relay. I feel like I just ran a marathon just getting through all of your accolades. This is amazing. Congratulations. How do you feel? Thank you.

Honestly, very relieved to be back in America. I was overseas for about a month and just so grateful. I really am. This is years in the making. I've been training for this moment for five years, and so to have it all turn out this way is truly incredible for me.

You two, congrats. We just saw you win the 200 meter race. You were So far ahead, everyone else. What was the moment that you realized, Oh, my God, I'm going to win the gold?

So truthfully, I had been envisioning myself winning that race over and over again the entire time that I was in Paris. And so in my head, when I got into the starting blocks, I had already won the race. I had believed that I was an Olympic champion. But the true moment that I realized I had won was coming off the curve. Anyone who watches my track career knows that I finish my races really strongly, and the last 100 meters is my bread and butter. If I can come off the first 100 meters ahead, I know I've won the race. Thank you. Thank you, guys.

You essentially manifested this for yourself. Is there anything you can do about the upcoming election? No. Asking for a friend. One of my favorite moments in all of this was getting to see your mom's reaction, the moment that you won. Can you talk about how instrumental she's been throughout your journey?

Oh, my goodness. I can go on and on about my mom and her support. I grew up with them. Yeah. Yeah, give it up for mom. I know. I mean, my mom has believed in me since I've been born. I grew up with a single mom. I grew up with her and my twin brother, and she has done everything for us. She started as a waitress and then worked her way, and now is a professor of an endowed chairman professorship at the University of Michigan. I watched her. I've watched her my entire life work really hard for something and to make her dream happen. She's always instilled in me the importance of not only education, but going after your dreams and giving back to your community. She was the best role model that I could have ever imagined having. She told me, I will never forget when I was nine, maybe 10 years old, that I had a light in me and that I was going to shine very brightly and that it was my purpose to do so. And give it back to the world. I will never forget that conversation. But just constantly having that type of validation, having that type of a role model to look up to, it got me to where I am.

Training for the Olympics is clearly an enormous amount of physical training and exertion. But what about the mental aspect of it? All of the pressure of feeling like you have to perform in this this moment, in this moment in time, do you have coping mechanisms that you deal with? Because I pretty much have a mental breakdown within the first four minutes of hot yoga. How do you manage all of that?

Oh, gosh. Yeah, a lot of people don't realize that our sport, half of it is mental. You can prepare physically every day and be so physically prepared. But if you're mentally not there, you're not going to be great. You can be good, but you can't be great. I remember telling all of my loved ones before I competed at the Olympics. I don't know how I could have prepared for this moment because there is nothing like walking out into that stadium and seeing 80,000 people on top of you, millions of people watching at home. And in track and field, it's just you out there. You don't have a team to rely on. There are no do-overs. There's no next play. This is it, and this is your moment. And if you don't do it in that moment, then it's over. And gosh, for me, that was a lot of pressure to take on. But I was as prepared as I could have been. I do a lot of meditation exercises. I did my visualizations of the race. I did all of my positive self-taught, and I just have a healthy relationship with the sport and myself and the sport.

So while I did believe that I could win the gold medal, I also knew that it was okay if I didn't. All I had to do was put my best self forward. And be the best athlete that I could be.

You're saying no bourbon? No bourbon. No bourbon. No bourbon. Well, as though it's not enough to be a three-time gold medalist, you also graduated from Harvard with a bachelor's in neurobiology. You have a master's in public health. Do you use your neurobiology education to help inform the way that you train?

I think so. I think I actually had a bit of an advantage studying neurobiology when I was an undergrad because I grew to have a very deep understanding of how the brain could actually help you athletically and what was important. For example, recovery is huge in our sport. It is almost as important as the actual racing and the actual practicing. And understanding neuroplasticity and the neural pathways and how they change when you're doing certain things for your recovery was really important. Understanding how sleep was very important. If you're not getting enough sleep every day, how that can detrimentily affect your training, how can it affect how you compete, and just really having that understanding for it. Understanding how going through training and the repetition The muscle memory, all of that is integral to being successful in track and field. So actually understanding that and appreciating it, I think, really helped me. It's different from your coach just telling you, Go get eight hours of sleep. You really need it. But I really appreciated it.

You, as though it's not enough, all that you do, you're endlessly impressive. You dedicate a lot of your time towards volunteer work with a health clinic in Texas, providing medical care for people who don't have health insurance. Why is this work so important to you?

Mainly because I believe everybody deserves equal access to health care. Thank you. Simply put, but when I was in school studying neurobiology, I started taking a few sociology courses as well to complement it. I realized that there were a lot of things we don't learn about the healthcare system in our regular curriculum. And I was being exposed to it. I drew a passion for studying and gaining a foundation in racial disparities in health care. It just really struck me to my core, especially being a Black woman in America. Now that I'm actually seeing it in real-time in Austin at the Volunteer Health Care Clinic. There are just so many things that we can do better. I mean, these are people who really don't have access to health care otherwise. I don't know where they would turn to. It's a volunteer-based clinic. So these are people who are dedicating time out of their day to give just primary care, preventive care, education. It's unfathomable to me that these people would have nowhere else to turn to if this clinic didn't exist. It's just so simple. It's a simple concept, right? We could increase funding for it, and people can have access to health care so easily.

That's what we do with the clinic. It's really just near and dear to my heart because everybody deserves that.

It's so inspiring. I refuse to ask the question, what will you do next? Because for the love of God, you just won three gold medals You should celebrate it and enjoy it. So what I'm curious about is, how are you celebrating this incredible moment?

Well, I'm just really excited to go back home to Austin, Texas, to be honest, and spend time with my puppy, Rico, get back into my morning routine of going to my local coffee shop, go see my friends and family, and get to celebrate with them just in our home setting, and then maybe plan a vacation after that. But I just can't wait to get back to my normal life.

I'd say you're on a pretty nice vacation after all of this. Thank you. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. We're going to take a quick break, but we'll be right back after this. Yes. That's our show for tonight. Now, here it is, your moment of death.

The good news is Mr..

Trump was on message, reminding people of his substantive, successful policies.

In other words, full of insights, not insults.

A good day's work, wouldn't you say, folks?

Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching The Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts. Watch The Daily Show weeknights at 11:00, 10:00 Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount+.

Paramount Podcasts.