Transcribe your podcast
[00:00:00]

You may be tempted to skip this ad, but don't marketers want their audience to stick around? And with Paramount ads manager, you can advertise your business on the biggest shows on tv for 30 unskippable seconds. Run your ads in premium content on Paramount plus and over 15 major networks with hits, shows, movies, sports and more, all on the biggest screen in the house. Put your business in show business with Paramount ads manager. Go to adsmanager dot paramount.com. that's adsmanager Dot paramount.com to learn more. Finding great candidates to hire can be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. You might get a lot of resumes, but not enough candidates with the right skills or experience. But not with Ziprecruiter. Ziprecruiter finds amazing candidates for you fast, and that five days ago, their nominee was almost taken out by an assault rifle. And I thought that might lead to a moment of introspection. But you guys are like, you know, what's hilarious how guns are everywhere. But outside of his anecdotes about Grandma John Wick, the fact was that discount Ulysses S. Grant did not exactly set the room on fire. But the good news for him was that the crowd was so amped, they were happy to chant no matter what.Oh. Oh, I o. You guys are a great crowd.Wow. I've never seen a crowd so pumped that it started to engage in conversation. Yes, we are. Let's order food. How about Thai? By the way, if you're wondering why the Ohio chant is o h I o, it's because it's the only word people from Ohio can spell. Go blue, you hillbilly. But. But tonight was the final night of the RNC. It was the last chance to address the events of last Saturday. So, to heal a herding nation, the RNC brought in their most dignified voices to deliver their message with gravity and respect.What happened last week when they took a shot at my hero and they tried to kill the next president of the United States? Enough was enough. And I said, let Trump run wild, brother.Whoa. Thank you. The healing has begun. He's going to make a great energy secretary. Now, you can laugh that one of the keynote speakers on the last night of the Republic convention is a washed up fake wrestler. But I'll tell you what, I think Trump just locked up the vote of every teenager in 1992. Okay, we heard a lot of talks. Now it's time to bring the nation together with a sober message of unity. Who's next?Everybody, get em fixed up in the air now. Follow me. Safe fight. Safe fight. Safe fight.Watch that angle, Don Junior, watch that angle. Yeah, that's how you achieve unity. By making our ears bleed together. Nothing riles me up like a 50 year old man yelling at a bunch of of 60 year old men in suits to fight. Ooh, I'll be pounding the Lipitor tonight. Okay. But then it was a big event. Finally, it was time for Donald Trump to come out. And in case you weren't sure who he was, they put his name in big, bright lights like he was the world's most famous circuit elephant. That's right. Trump's gonna be president of Broadway. And once the cheers died down and the speaking began, Trump made some big promises.Four months from now, we will have an incredible victory, and we will begin the four greatest years in the history of our country.Oh, I don't know. Best four years? What about 91 to 95? Wu Tang, nirvana, unironic Fanny packs, Michael Jackson before it got too weird. You know, I'll put those four years against any in history. Now, all week we heard Trump was going to come out with a new message of unity. And you know what he delivered?As Americans, we are bound together by a single fate and a shared destiny. We rise together or we fall apart. I am running to be president for all of America, not half of America, because there is no victory in winning.For half of America, which is why I'll be deporting the half that doesn't like me. Problem solved. You know what? You know what? No. I'm being a hater. This is a changed man up here. He's calling for an end to discord. Let's hear how we can bring about this unity together.If Democrats want to unify our country, they should drop these partisan witch hunts, which I have been going, going through for approximately eight years, and they should do that without delay and allow an election to proceed that is worthy of our people.Oh, how convenient. So the key to unifying the country is absolving Donald Trump of his crimes. Anything else Democrats should do? America? Just think about how united the country would be if Chuck Schumer punched himself in the dick. Think about it. Come together. But then Trump went on to tell the story of his near assassination on Saturday. And for a moment, they started to feel like maybe this was a different Trump. Someone somber, reflective. But then he slipped in just a small nod to the Trump weve always known.They knew immediately it was a sniper and then began pointing at him. And you can see that if you look at the group behind me, that was just a small group compared to what was in front.That's how you know Trump is going to get through this. Even in the middle of a story about almost being assassinated, he felt the need to reflectively brag about his crowd size. I suddenly realized how insignificant, significant we are. Except by crowd size, very significant. We're all just grains of sands on a beach, although my crowd is more like a coastline. Big crowd. Big crowd. There was one other thing that made me realize this is the same Trump in Wisconsin.We are spending over $250 million here, creating jobs and other economic development all over the place. So I hope you will remember this in November and give us your vote. I am trying to buy your vote. I'll be honest about that.He's trying to do a quid pro quo in the middle of his convention speech. Slow down, my man. You don't get total immunity until after the election. So that was Trump's speech. A changed man who was basically the same man as before so what did we learn from the RNC? Well, the campaign for president is basically one big job interview. The convention is where America checks the candidate's references. And to be sure, there were plenty of people willing to vouch for Donald Trump. You got ex cons, domestic abusers, fake wrestlers, fake friends, his children, people sleeping with his children, and of course, the esteemed mayor of Whoville. But if. If this is a job interview, it's worth noting who we didn't see most of the people who actually worked with him in the White House. And if America's gonna do our due diligence, we might as well call our references to hear what they have to say about him.Anyone who puts themselves over the Constitution should never be president. I think he's unfit for office. Richard Nixon looks like a choir boy next to Donald Trump.The gravest threat to democracy that we've ever seen.He failed at being the president when we needed him to be. That doesn't like to read.Doesn't read briefing reports.Absence of leadership, really? Anti leadership, wannabe dictator shouldn't be anywhere.Near the Oval Office.Nothing but contempt for our democratic institutions.Our Constitution, and the rule of law.The president has the understanding of a fifth or 6th grader, Rex Sorson saying.This about the president, quote, he's a f ing moron.Okay, you know what? You know what? Good points. But did you see that flag? It looked like an angel.Explore more shows from the Daily show podcast universe by searching the Daily show wherever you get your podcasts, watch the Daily show weeknights at 1110 Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount. Plus.Paramount podcast. If you're listening to this ad, it's no accident unless you forgot to hit skip. But for marketers, finding the right audience matters. We worked hard for your attention, but you don't need to for your business. With Paramount ads manager now, you can reach huge audiences on the hottest shows on tv. That's right, big shows aren't just for the big brands. You can get 32nd views on tv instead of three in their social feeds. Best of all, it's easy. Sign up today, be on tv tomorrow with Paramount ads manager. Go to adsmanager dot paramount.com. that's adsmanager dot paramount.com to learn more.It's been a three year wait, but the Olympics are back and the CB's sports podcast network has you covered. With everything happening in Paris, it's a new era for the us women's national team, and attacking third will tackle all the women's soccer action. First cut will keep close tabs on golf, while beyond the arc will follow the us men's basketball team on a quest for another gold. And we need to talk now. We'll provide comprehensive coverage of women's athletes at the Olympic Games. Follow and listen to all CB's sports podcasts for free on the Odyssey app and wherever you get your podcasts.

[00:29:36]

that five days ago, their nominee was almost taken out by an assault rifle. And I thought that might lead to a moment of introspection. But you guys are like, you know, what's hilarious how guns are everywhere. But outside of his anecdotes about Grandma John Wick, the fact was that discount Ulysses S. Grant did not exactly set the room on fire. But the good news for him was that the crowd was so amped, they were happy to chant no matter what.

[00:30:12]

Oh. Oh, I o. You guys are a great crowd.

[00:30:24]

Wow. I've never seen a crowd so pumped that it started to engage in conversation. Yes, we are. Let's order food. How about Thai? By the way, if you're wondering why the Ohio chant is o h I o, it's because it's the only word people from Ohio can spell. Go blue, you hillbilly. But. But tonight was the final night of the RNC. It was the last chance to address the events of last Saturday. So, to heal a herding nation, the RNC brought in their most dignified voices to deliver their message with gravity and respect.

[00:31:16]

What happened last week when they took a shot at my hero and they tried to kill the next president of the United States? Enough was enough. And I said, let Trump run wild, brother.

[00:31:39]

Whoa. Thank you. The healing has begun. He's going to make a great energy secretary. Now, you can laugh that one of the keynote speakers on the last night of the Republic convention is a washed up fake wrestler. But I'll tell you what, I think Trump just locked up the vote of every teenager in 1992. Okay, we heard a lot of talks. Now it's time to bring the nation together with a sober message of unity. Who's next?

[00:32:10]

Everybody, get em fixed up in the air now. Follow me. Safe fight. Safe fight. Safe fight.

[00:32:28]

Watch that angle, Don Junior, watch that angle. Yeah, that's how you achieve unity. By making our ears bleed together. Nothing riles me up like a 50 year old man yelling at a bunch of of 60 year old men in suits to fight. Ooh, I'll be pounding the Lipitor tonight. Okay. But then it was a big event. Finally, it was time for Donald Trump to come out. And in case you weren't sure who he was, they put his name in big, bright lights like he was the world's most famous circuit elephant. That's right. Trump's gonna be president of Broadway. And once the cheers died down and the speaking began, Trump made some big promises.

[00:33:17]

Four months from now, we will have an incredible victory, and we will begin the four greatest years in the history of our country.

[00:33:28]

Oh, I don't know. Best four years? What about 91 to 95? Wu Tang, nirvana, unironic Fanny packs, Michael Jackson before it got too weird. You know, I'll put those four years against any in history. Now, all week we heard Trump was going to come out with a new message of unity. And you know what he delivered?

[00:33:53]

As Americans, we are bound together by a single fate and a shared destiny. We rise together or we fall apart. I am running to be president for all of America, not half of America, because there is no victory in winning.

[00:34:14]

For half of America, which is why I'll be deporting the half that doesn't like me. Problem solved. You know what? You know what? No. I'm being a hater. This is a changed man up here. He's calling for an end to discord. Let's hear how we can bring about this unity together.

[00:34:36]

If Democrats want to unify our country, they should drop these partisan witch hunts, which I have been going, going through for approximately eight years, and they should do that without delay and allow an election to proceed that is worthy of our people.

[00:34:53]

Oh, how convenient. So the key to unifying the country is absolving Donald Trump of his crimes. Anything else Democrats should do? America? Just think about how united the country would be if Chuck Schumer punched himself in the dick. Think about it. Come together. But then Trump went on to tell the story of his near assassination on Saturday. And for a moment, they started to feel like maybe this was a different Trump. Someone somber, reflective. But then he slipped in just a small nod to the Trump weve always known.

[00:35:31]

They knew immediately it was a sniper and then began pointing at him. And you can see that if you look at the group behind me, that was just a small group compared to what was in front.

[00:35:47]

That's how you know Trump is going to get through this. Even in the middle of a story about almost being assassinated, he felt the need to reflectively brag about his crowd size. I suddenly realized how insignificant, significant we are. Except by crowd size, very significant. We're all just grains of sands on a beach, although my crowd is more like a coastline. Big crowd. Big crowd. There was one other thing that made me realize this is the same Trump in Wisconsin.

[00:36:18]

We are spending over $250 million here, creating jobs and other economic development all over the place. So I hope you will remember this in November and give us your vote. I am trying to buy your vote. I'll be honest about that.

[00:36:43]

He's trying to do a quid pro quo in the middle of his convention speech. Slow down, my man. You don't get total immunity until after the election. So that was Trump's speech. A changed man who was basically the same man as before so what did we learn from the RNC? Well, the campaign for president is basically one big job interview. The convention is where America checks the candidate's references. And to be sure, there were plenty of people willing to vouch for Donald Trump. You got ex cons, domestic abusers, fake wrestlers, fake friends, his children, people sleeping with his children, and of course, the esteemed mayor of Whoville. But if. If this is a job interview, it's worth noting who we didn't see most of the people who actually worked with him in the White House. And if America's gonna do our due diligence, we might as well call our references to hear what they have to say about him.

[00:37:45]

Anyone who puts themselves over the Constitution should never be president. I think he's unfit for office. Richard Nixon looks like a choir boy next to Donald Trump.

[00:37:53]

The gravest threat to democracy that we've ever seen.

[00:37:56]

He failed at being the president when we needed him to be. That doesn't like to read.

[00:38:00]

Doesn't read briefing reports.

[00:38:02]

Absence of leadership, really? Anti leadership, wannabe dictator shouldn't be anywhere.

[00:38:07]

Near the Oval Office.

[00:38:08]

Nothing but contempt for our democratic institutions.

[00:38:11]

Our Constitution, and the rule of law.

[00:38:12]

The president has the understanding of a fifth or 6th grader, Rex Sorson saying.

[00:38:17]

This about the president, quote, he's a f ing moron.

[00:38:29]

Okay, you know what? You know what? Good points. But did you see that flag? It looked like an angel.

[00:38:37]

Explore more shows from the Daily show podcast universe by searching the Daily show wherever you get your podcasts, watch the Daily show weeknights at 1110 Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount. Plus.

[00:38:56]

Paramount podcast. If you're listening to this ad, it's no accident unless you forgot to hit skip. But for marketers, finding the right audience matters. We worked hard for your attention, but you don't need to for your business. With Paramount ads manager now, you can reach huge audiences on the hottest shows on tv. That's right, big shows aren't just for the big brands. You can get 32nd views on tv instead of three in their social feeds. Best of all, it's easy. Sign up today, be on tv tomorrow with Paramount ads manager. Go to adsmanager dot paramount.com. that's adsmanager dot paramount.com to learn more.

[00:39:29]

It's been a three year wait, but the Olympics are back and the CB's sports podcast network has you covered. With everything happening in Paris, it's a new era for the us women's national team, and attacking third will tackle all the women's soccer action. First cut will keep close tabs on golf, while beyond the arc will follow the us men's basketball team on a quest for another gold. And we need to talk now. We'll provide comprehensive coverage of women's athletes at the Olympic Games. Follow and listen to all CB's sports podcasts for free on the Odyssey app and wherever you get your podcasts.