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This is the Dan Levator show with the Stugats podcast.

I have waited too long today to get to this. I know it's going to make Tony happy. I believe I saw the most ridiculous octagon entrance I have ever seen this weekend. I don't think I've ever seen a fight start so absurdly, wonderfully. I don't know where this is from. It reminded me of Arnold Schwarzenegger's mister freeze character. I don't know if this fighter, Arthur Spilka is his name. He's 30 in MMA. Tony, what can you tell me about this entrance? Because the funniest part about it, I saw it, and then I went and did some research about some things that make it even funnier than just the entrance. There is no water in this cryogenic chamber that he is in that is made to look like he is coming in underwater. Correct. And just making it look like those wires and tubes are feeding him oxygen that he needs to be underwater.

Correct.

Because otherwise he'd be going into the octagon totally wet.

Correct.

And winded, possibly.

The tubes look very small, too, so it's hard to keep your breath when the tubes are very small underwater. But he gets basically wheeled to the stage in, like, a wheelbarrow. But imagine, like, a big pod, like, if he was coming from Alison.

Austin Powers. It's the Austin Powers cryogenic chambers.

Yeah, exactly.

That's picture Austin Powers.

He even has a guy in a lab coat, like, directing where they're taking the pot.

That's the most ridiculous part.

I love that guy with a clipboard.

So, Dan, this is in KSW, which is a mixed martial arts promotion in Poland. I'm not gonna try to pronounce the name because I will butcher it. But I want you to land. What? The funniest part about this is, because I know it, but I want you to see.

Oh, but it's a great entrance to guts. Indisputably. It's a great entrance. He's 30. He's a former boxer in mixed martial arts. But when I went and looked this up, because at this point, Stugatz, I have to look everything up. Like there was a story trending this weekend that Lambeau field was allowing smokers.

Yeah, I saw that.

And vapors. But no, it's not true. No, because of course it's not true. But you'd think it's true because, of course, Lambeau Field would allow smokers. But it's not true.

Wait, it's not true, because I saw that as well. I was very excited. I was thinking about moving to Green Bay.

I mean, no, it is Wisconsin state law.

Because you love Wisconsin, you can always.

Talk about, I love heaters.

I mean, yes, you cannot vape and smoke, but I have to basically double check all the time where information is coming from. Also, what I had to look up when I saw this is. Was this recently, or did I miss it the first time that it happened? So when I looked it up, I then found out the single funniest thing about this, which is that guy came to the ring that way and then was knocked out in 15 seconds.

No way.

Lasted 14 seconds.

Well, he didn't have his mojo back.

So the intro was longer than the.

Fight by a lot. You cannot put it on the pole, please. Can you enter a fight in a cryogenic chamber and then get knocked out in 14 seconds like that?

I mean, you can't do.

You must have been awoken too fast or something.

You have to just last longer than that, just run away for longer than that. So they can't say that you entered like that and then got immediately knocked out.

You have to, at the very least, go the distance if you're going to make that kind of entrance. You can't do it in 14 seconds. You can't lose.

Dan, when you started talking about a cryogenic chamber with no water, I thought you meant our studio today, because our water's down and we have no air conditioning.

There are a lot of daily obstacles that people don't know about that affect the performance and that roller coaster.

Josh Hart would say that this is harder than what he does.

We do have this machine that tries to helpfully tell us how many water or how many bottles of water we've saved the earth from or whatever, and I think we passed, like, 10,000 recently. But here's the thing. That machine is constantly breaking down. You know what doesn't break down? A bottle of water, which is why we need the machine, but still doesn't let me down.

Put it on the pole, please, Juju. You know what doesn't break down? A bottle of water. Yes or no? Let's get to a fight that ended and the celebration that happened afterward. There are very few people as disliked, and I like him because I like the guys who are jerks. But Derek Lewis is jerky, right? I mean, he was waving his shorts in front of a guy he had just knocked out this weekend after winning the fight. He took off his shorts after mooning everybody and waved them in front of his knocked out opponent.

So, Derek Lewis, knockout. King of the UFC in the heavyweight division. He's got more knockouts than anybody. The black beast himself. He's very known. He's known for a lot of interesting celebrations. He also is famously the guy who took off his shorts and said, my balls were hot, if you remember that a couple of years ago.

I'm right there.

That's kind of where it started. This is. Hey, my balls are hot. That's why I took off my shorts. He knocked out Rodrigo Nasimento, and he was airing him out. Like, come on, buddy. Like, wake up. After the fight, he said, I wasn't going to let a taxi driver from Brazil beat me, which I thought was also funny. But as you can see, a little bit of swamp ass that he's got going on. You know, he's got the gray under under armor, which I probably would have gone black there to avoid. The swamp ass.

He's a badass and an ass. And waving your shorts in front of a man you've knocked out when he can't see or smell them, because you've just knocked him out. Still, awesome is awesome and disrespectful. Like, wildly disrespectful.

Also threw his cup into the crowd, which he signed.

It looked like a reporter caught it and was just like, why am I holding it?

Regrets catching it.

Someone needs to just go punch him in the wiener after a fight. That'll put an end to a lot of this.

That's a five minute.

Well, it'll put an end to your own life, because that, man, there's a.

Lot of people in the ring. Someone will stop it. And if I go and I punch him in the wiener, I'm a fighter, so, like, it's not like Billy Gill punching him in the wiener.

You also have, like, ten minutes to run, because once you punch any man in the wiener, you have, like, ten minutes before they recover.

That's a flick.

Yeah.

Flicks worse than a punch sometimes.

Hmm.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Think I'd rather have a flick.

No, you would not. You most definitely not.

Then a punch.

Yeah. Yeah.

Your friends.

I'm willing to flick, though. No.

Well, I think we're talking about where you're getting from the guys.

Yeah. But there are certain places within that region where it hurts a little bit more.

Yeah. Punch. Sometimes you'd like to take the full punch instead of flick the flick, I'm telling you.

Yeah.

More damage than the punch.

Good to know, Jessica. Well, it's not good to know, because it's inaccurate. Like.

It's not.

It's not.

It's just not Billy. It's not being Billy.

No, it's not. Have you ever been flicked?

No. Let's try it. Come on in here and we'll do it with you.

I'm not flicking you, Dan.

I also have some sad news to report. Our cuban fighter, Robelis Aspen, who was the biggest knockout artist on the planet, had four fights that lasted 10 seconds each. Lost to Waldo Acosta Valdez, a dominican guy who just took him down for three straight. Waldo, three straight rounds, had 19 minutes of ground control. He never got up. Looks like the steam's gone out of. Out of the big boy.

You can't lose to a Waldo, Stu. Gods is right. Put it on the poll at Levitard show. Can you lose? No shot either. Can you lose a fight to a Waldo? Also, is a flick to the balls worse than a punch at Le Batard show?

You're gonna be surprised at those results. I'm telling you.

Not balls. Not balls.

He's right then.

I don't want to. I don't want to. I don't want to be too graphic here. Well, not balls.

Well, can you tell whoever's posting the poll question so we at least get the question right?

Say, the helmet for some.

That four some was excellent executive by you. A flick is not worse than a punch in any circumstance to the helmet. Billy. No, I got it. Stugatz, I got it.

All right, what's the helmet for then?

Like, the helmet is like the protector, most prepared for that. All the things in that area, especially.

Prepared for a flick. I would say, like, especially prepared for that. Like a punch. Not prepared for. No one's prepared for a punch.

Everyone's gonna come in with one of those concussion things on their helmet tomorrow.

One of those giant. One of the caps, one of those things. What are those called? That had that Lego thing that the football. Everyone's going to come in with one of those as protection. That's right. Protection from a flick. I had a friend of mine, Stugatz, made me laugh this morning because he talked about Mother's Day in a way that I thought was both sad and funny, because he loves his wife, who is a wonderful mother. But he was lamenting the number of things that he had to do yesterday that he didn't want to do. That included the buying of flowers, which he described this way to me. I will spend my entire week walking past the table where it will look to me like 70 of my dollars. Are wilting. 70 of my dollars are falling apart. When I would have preferred green flowers that had three twenties and a ten on them because he was bothered by having to buy flowers when it was not heartfelt. And yet it was forced. I don't know. Well, it's a commercial holiday that is forced on people. But you also want to appreciate the mothers in your life.

And flowers, honestly, is a bare minimum on effort of making effort for a mother on that day.

Five cards and a flower, that's usually what I go with.

Five cards.

Five cards, I get a card. No, I'm great at picking out cards at CV's or Walgreens. I'm an expert at it.

That goes along with flowers as like the bare minimum, though, if all you're doing is flowers, it's bare.

Miners. No, they're staples to Mother's Day that no sex, at least for me. Right.

Sounds like your friend didn't use 1800 flowers because boy, is that quick and easy to use. And what a gift, right?

I get two cards from me, one from Emma, one from Rachel, one from the family. Actually, I go six deep sometimes I get one from Finny. I mean, that's.

I've done that. That's from the animal.

The dog card is great.

I just cashed a bet, by the way, that you would make that joke today. So I'm gonna go get that money.

How do you sign. How do you sign it from Finny? What do you do?

I sign it for Finney.

I rough you.

Draw a little paw print.

No, I don't. Do I rough you? I thought about doing I rough you, but I don't do it. Just love Finny.

I sent my grandma flowers from 1800. Flowers?

Holy shit.

Jessica.

No voicemail, just a text message. Really dropped the ball.

Wow, she's spoiled now you've spoiled her. Yeah, I guess the idea, Stugatz, that the greatest gift you give on Mother's Day is your wife not having to see or be around you naked.

Yeah, she doesn't have to see my helmet.

Oh God. Every day is Mother's Day in the Weiner house.

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Don Libertard, let's go to 80.

His name is Bo.

Wow. I think Billy typed an eight instead of a b. Fine. It's a clear as day, but stugats number eight. It's Chris Corner on the line. CC, go ahead.

This is the Dan Levator show with the stugots.

I was surprised to learn, Stu Gatz this weekend that there are no mascots from the state of Florida in the mascot hall of Fame.

Not because that place a sham.

Single one. What?

That's right. Mascot hall of Fame is a sham. Anti democracy sham.

Wow.

I'm not gonna get started on it. You're not gonna go me into this. It's not gonna happen. I'm not going to. I'm not gonna do it. Sham.

Well, I didn't hate freedom.

They hate democracy. They hate elections.

Wow.

Wow.

I didn't invite you to talk about this.

Well, you won't. You won't get my thoughts on it. It's not going to happen.

Well, I already got your thoughts on it.

Oh, no.

I haven't even started.

They're very strong thoughts that you seem to be having on it. Even though both Bernie and Sebastian, the ibis, are up for election, you can vote mascothallofame.com, the vote dash 2024 if you want.

Real easy to find mascot hall of fame idiots. And then you know what they do with those votes? They wipe their asses with them. They don't care about your votes or you as people.

How do you know this?

Because. Look, all right, fine. If you must know, he's got to get started here. This is what happened. This mascot hall of fame has. Has existed for years, and they have fan voting right. And about ten years ago, Billy the marlin was up for fan voting. And billy the marlin won the popular vote of the fan vote, the most vote amongst all the fans.

Billy the Marlin electoral College didn't vote for him.

And then they announced the class. And the lead vote getter, Billy the Marlin, was not part of the hall of fame class.

Wow.

Because they asked for your votes. But as I previously stated, they then wipe their furry, colorful asses with said votes. They don't care about your votes. They don't care about your democracy. They just want publicity, and they just want you to talk about their sham ass hall of Fame that doesn't care about your voting. So I say, don't vote for these mascots. Don't vote for this hall of fame. Don't pay attention and pay any mind to this half bit to rate whatever hall of fame that it is. Where is it even? Does it even exist? Not to me.

It's outside of Chicago and Indiana.

Oh, please.

Half it.

That's right.

There's actually no talking allowed in the mascot hall of fame.

Oh, get over yourself.

I'm pretty sure he was joking, Stugatz. I was pretty sure that, you know.

They promoted is just 30 minutes away from downtown Chicago. I hate that. You know what? Like, don't use Chicago. A just a short 30 minutes drive to Indiana. From Chicago to the Mascot hall of Fame. What you're telling people is, we're not in Chicago. We're in some place you don't want to go to. That's it. I mean, that's what they're talking about.

There's no talking because they want to silence your voice. They don't care about you, as I've previously stated.

Yep.

But it is 30 minutes. It's, like, right by the horseshoe casino.

Yeah, but when you say you're 30 minutes from a major city, it means you're in the middle of nowhere.

It's like Troy, right?

Put it on the poll. Juju, when you say you're 30 minutes from Chicago, does it mean that you're in the middle of nowhere? Because it is. It's a gift that Milwaukee has. They tried to sell Lillard on that with. You'll love it.

That's a lot so far.

It's a couple of hours from Chicago. That is a trick that they use. They do do that. And I just heard Stugatz moments ago saying that Chicago was the best summer city in the United States.

It's amazing because in the summer, I would put Chicago up against any other state in the summer. In fact, I think it's better than any other state. It's beautiful. But in the winter, it is a nightmare, an absolute nightmare. And I'm not certain we have a city in America that goes from nightmare, goes from hell to heaven that quickly.

I can't. I can't argue with you. It is one of the greatest cities in the world. In the world. Stu guts. In the summer. But the mascot hall of Fame is not claiming to be in Chicago. And isn't Chicago. It's claiming to be 30 minutes from Chicago, which it is, just to clarify.

Yeah, but, you know, you could drive 30 minutes anywhere, like, in any direction from Chicago, and where you end up is in the middle of nowhere.

I would say, like, an hour, but, yeah, like, the Chicagoland area is pretty big and very well populated.

But I do think that Stugatz is generally right, that cities masking as trying to be bigger than they actually are do that trick. And it's a rhetorical trick of, hey, we're not as bad as you think we are. We're just 30 minutes outside of a place you actually like.

Like, by his logic, Evanston is the middle of nowhere. Cause that's 30 minutes from Chicago.

22 minutes. I mean, a little different. I mean, it's Indiana.

Is it. Wait a minute. How is it a little. I mean, it is eight minutes different. So I guess it is a little different than. But you're saying that 22 minutes isn't a smear, but 30 minutes is.

Yeah, 30 minutes. And I'm certain it's not 30 minutes. I'm certain it's really 45 minutes to.

What are we ripping the mascot hall of Fame?

Because it's because of what Billy said. Because if you don't want them.

I'm not saying storm the mascot hall of fame, but storm. I didn't say that.

An insurrection.

No, I didn't say that.

You're not, you know, furry ass.

Just saying. I mean, quiet. One.

I know. One mascot up for a vote.

Electors shall be made up, comprised of three. Typo, idiot, hall of Fame. Three different voting bodies. The public whom we don't care about. It says here, members of the mascot hall of Fame. So mascots are voting, apparently, and executive committee members, get off your high horses, or broncos and mustangs and whatever other horses are in there.

Are there any mascots on the committee?

I don't know.

Well, yes. I think he just said that they're. The mascots are.

No, he said the mascots who are in can vote, and then he said the committee members can vote.

Oh, multiple votes. That can't be. Then it would be un american.

There's three different bodies that vote on it, Dan.

Well, yeah, but I got to tell.

You, I'm looking at this committee, and I don't want to. I don't want to judge books by the COVID but this seems like a whole bunch of people I would never want to be in a room with nerds.

I love mascots. I don't think I do, too.

I don't do Wilbund.

And I have ever had a bigger, bigger argument than Wilbund's hatred of mascots, which to me strikes. Like, if you let put. Let's put this on the poll at Le Batard show. Do you really love sports? If you hate mascots? If you hate mascots?

I hate mascots. I've said it here on the show before.

I know, but I'm with Wilbur, okay? I'm.

You have, like, even the sausages that run around.

Yeah.

Stupid.

Hmm. I will say this.

President. Stupid.

The president.

Yeah.

The presidents have run.

Okay.

Sebastian deserves to be in, though, and probably deserved it a while ago.

Yeah. Doesn't matter, though, what you think. It's all up to Zoltan and Robert and Chris and Julie. Yeah.

Like the game. You remember the Zoltan game that you put like, a quarter in and you'd have to, like, squeeze it.

I'm here looking at, like, this executive committee, and I will say this, and I. I'll come right out and say, I don't know the first thing about being a mascot, but I know that the mascot. You're not supposed to be pictured with your head off. And there's multiple pictures of the executive committee in mascot costumes without heads on. And I feel like they should be dismissed from the committee immediately and sent to mascot hell.

Oh, wow.

How is it possible that your opinion on this is stronger than any opinion than you have on anything ever?

I like democracy. I like a voting process. You know who doesn't? Zoltan. You know who doesn't? Glenn street. You know who doesn't? Joe Doyle. Won't even show his face here on the mascot hall of fame executive committee pictures.

You just got mad at someone else for showing their face.

No, no, but there's someone here, like, you know, Tom Hansen is here, and you see him with his, you know, checkered shirt. Exactly. A Facebook picture. That's fine. But Bromley low here with the fuzzy gloves on. AJ mas apparently was the blue claws.

Mascot former mister met.

We got to talk to someone from the city.

Dan, mears no, we will not. Dan Mears is just holding a coyote head, which means he was either a coyote mascot or he decapitated one.

I think he was the Kansas City wolf.

Whoa.

Oh. When you guys mention mascot, hell, what do you imagine is happening down there? Because I've got the Colts mascot, and his tail is on fire, and he's banging his head on the goalpost because the opposing team has made another field goal. But he's a game winning field goal. But he's doing it for eternity. Like, he's doing it. It is his worst. His worst living experience.

I've got the New Jersey devil down there.

Yeah? Yeah. Oh, he's very popular.

He runs the place. All the others. All the others are scared of him. Even the demon deacons are terrified of him.

How about the Duke blue devil? Where is he in the ranking blow?

He's dismissed over here.

All the other mascots hate him, but just because he's from Duke, it's not even because he's blue.

It's just Duke.

It's just Duke. They yell at him about Christian Laettner. They're like, you're always slapping the court and taking charges. We hate you. We hate everything you represent.

The nittany lion is a terrible mascot. Thank you, Roy. Nittany. Terrible mascot. They run out of money. Like, gonna buy a new costume. Like, what is this?

Do you want to tell people visually what it is, or do you want to keep doing this show where you got a weird face, read weird names from this book, and that's what the show is, where you just read the names of the executive committee? I mean, mascot, hall of Fame.

Big Red is in there from western Kentucky. I mean, how is Sebastian not in the hall of fame? No, it's not. But I'm not saying it's not deserving. But how is that in. And Sebastian is not?

Just keep.

No one knows Sebastian.

Just.

What is Sebastian ever done?

Thank you, Chris.

He got arrested at an FSU game. He got arrested. There's a great.

He hasn't been elected. Bad behavior.

There you go.

There's a morals clause.

Birdie, get into it one time if we're here.

No, Bernie, you got knocked out someone.

Slugger. Is there a minor league mascot that's a different hall of fame. Minor. Imagine a minor league hall of fame. You know what the minor leagues are for? Mascots that can't cut it in the major leagues. Why are we putting slugger in the hall of fame? Minor league mascot? What a joke.

Can you guys get for me, please? The photograph of Sebastian the Ibis being arrested, put in handcuffs at the Florida State Seminoles do Campbell Stadium. It is one of the great moments in mascot history. I want.

Maybe that's keeping them out.

I want to know what it is that you guys think we'll also find in mascot hell. Where. What else?

Leprechaun make it to heaven?

Should a college team that has a live animal, should the mascot go into.

The hall of Fame? There are no living mascots in the hall of Fame.

Wow.

Oh, right.

Ralphie should be. Ralphie should be the buffalo.

Mike the tiger ISO's PETA prevented them from putting.

All right, go sit in the penalty box for not getting the joke out with. Without being able, like, finding yourself so funny that you couldn't even finish the joke. That's not even because you're making it at my expense. It's just because you couldn't finish it because you snorted into the microphone laughing at how funny you are making fun of me. What the hell's going on around here today?

Boomer, the pacers mascot, is in the hall of Fame. Can you have a mascot you've never even heard of? Boomer, get out of here.

Dan, when you reference Sebastian getting arrested, I thought of the picture in black and white, like from a newspaper clipping, and then they put up the picture, and I was like, yes, that's it.

Newspaper, black and white.

That's exactly what it was.

Also, I'm not here to criticize the mascots. I'm here to criticize the mascot hall of Fame. But. But Blue, the Colts mascot, is in the hall of Fame. Blue is a cult, yet has human hands wearing wide receiver gloves. Blue should have hooves if you're a good mascot, you should have hooves if you're a horse.

Do you guys realize how crippling my insecurity is to see right in front of us on our television that my memories are in black and white? Oh, no.

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Devon White. Glenn Allen Hill. Pat Tabler. Benito Santiago. Tim Tuffel. Gary Pettis. Bruce Hurst. Craig Lefferts. Jim Deshayes. Doug Brokale. It is time for Stu guts to.

Share his game notes. No one in the media will tell.

You what happened better than my boy Stu.

Weekend observations brought to you by Miller Lite. Great taste. Just 96 calories available for delivery. Dan, it's the second major. Some people say it's the one people care about the least, but not this guy. This guy loves it so much. History. The Wanamaker trophy. Rotating courses. Kiowa whistling straight. Beth Page black. And this year. This year, Valhalla. And Dan, just like that. Make no mistake about it, the PGA Championship is back.

That's an upset. How is it that that leads your. It's back.

What else is back?

WNBA.

What? To major.

The WNBA is major now, too.

I know it is, but when does it start? It starts on Tuesday. I mean, the PGA starts on Thursday. Oh, man.

Okay, you're stuck there.

I walked myself right into that one. Really? Didn't. Getting relegated from the Premier League to the championship is the closest JJ Watt will ever get to experience a championship. I'm gonna be making JJ watch jokes until the day I die, which is soon, I think.

Relegated. Did you say relegated?

Yes. Soccer team.

I know, but relegated is going down.

Explain that joke to us.

So we got.

You wrote that, right?

He went down to the championship league, and I'm saying that's the close I'll ever get to a championship.

Okay.

I mean, come on.

I'm sorry. No, I'm sorry.

Champions League.

Different thing. Different thing.

Enough.

Thanks.

Soccer.

No, you're soccer. Nick's pacers. We're waiting. I mean, the series kind of started, but it hasn't started. It's. You know, they held serve.

What's going on in the Denver Minnesota series? Is that series started, but it keeps starts every night keeps starting.

Okay, gotta cross that one out so I won't find it anyway. Oh, this name. Rory McElroy. They get it right.

You never do. Never ever. Such a strange dyslexia with just the l. No, McElroy. He's always taking McElroy. Yeah, it's McElroy.

Anyway, he won his fourth Wells Fargo championship over the weekend. Rory, you can win 20 of those, and it will never equate to one Augusta.

You told him if he was listening.

He knows it, Dan.

No, I know, but if he's listening.

To this show, has to win it.

Driving around thinking he's a winner. You heard it. Rory McElroy. You heard him. Called you out. Called you out. Incorrect name.

Rory, watch the draft lottery. The Thunder are still getting first round picks for trading away Chris Paul. Chris Paul. The trade that just keeps on giving. If the Thunder win the title the next four years because of any of those picks, they should give a ring to Chris Paul. But don't worry. It still won't count as a ring in my personal record book. Check it out today. Stugats book.com. I am outraged. And I showed you a picture of Stephen A. Smith asking the question, did Kevin Durant make the wrong career move by going to Golden State? I wrote a book.

That was today. Today he did show me a picture. He took it in the eating area of just the television showing Stephen A. Smith having a take. Years ago.

Yeah. I mean, Dan. I strolled through the hallways of ESPN, given that takeout to anyone who wanted to listen for eight years, and everyone called me a quack, a joke. They didn't take me seriously. And now Stephen a. Is on it. Oh, God. I wrote a book. He should be ashamed of himself. I'm serious. Stephen a.

Why?

Stealing my take.

Yeah, but you'd be proud of that.

It's the centerpiece of my book.

I wrote an a book. Calm.

Oh, paint.

When you are turning to Alec Berks to save you, you've already lost. You know what the A in Alec Burke stands for, Dan?

Already lost.

Man, you were on your game.

It was hard to get that one.

His jersey should be a white flag.

Put it on the pole, juju. Should Alec Burke's jersey be a white flag?

By the way, last week I said he can go for 20 any given night. You said he couldn't. He did. He went for 20. Just let you know.

A beat by 50.

It doesn't matter. He went for 20. I mean, that's all I care about.

The last time he had gone for 20, before that was February.

Any given night could be a night in February. It could be a night in May. You never know. Got it right. Kevin Garnett saying that he can't lose if the tea wolves play the Celtics in the NBA Finals. Kevin Garnett, the Stu gots is strong in you, KG. The big ticket. The Knicks traded Obi Toppin for two future second round picks. Dan, you know what Obi Toppin is having? He's having the last laugh. You were gonna say that, huh?

No, I was not gonna say that. I was gonna say he was having a moment, huh?

Nah. Last laugh. Roma Duze out of bears practice with hamstring tightness. And so it begins.

Wow. That's. That's it. You're just saying it right now. And so it begins.

It's okay if he misses a practice. Rome wasn't built in a day. Or was. Or as some would like to say, in a doozy. That is good. Who likes Rome wasn't built in a doozy. Oh, Doon's a poorly said but clever tired snoot.

I said to him the other day, I said to him the other day, because he was talking about working five days in a week. I'm like, we're trying to give you days off. You're always complaining that you're tired. And his response was, yeah, but I just like to complain.

Who doesn't? That's what life is all about.

Put it on the poll. Juju at Lebatard show is what life is all about. Complaining is complaining what life is all about.

You got it. PJ Washington leading the Mavericks and scoring their last two games. Why is it that everybody gets better the second they leave the Hornets? What's happening? I've got to be honest, watching playoff hockey, I don't know how a goalie sees a puck coming in and saves it. Can you explain that to me? Am I alone on this? I think goalie is the hardest position in sports. I do. I think hockey goalie is.

It's pretty.

I think they get lucky a lot.

They shouldn't be able to stand right in front of them.

I listen. I don't think they see a thing. They just get their body in front of it somehow.

You just see the goalie's head poking.

Around, like, cover as much of the goal as you can and you make a safe.

It's called positioning.

Thank you, Roy.

It is. But I do feel that Chris, with the pantomime there, did show you something that is an anxious way to spend a couple of hours, which is just like John Taffer in bar rescue. Looking around a plant to yell at somebody at all times. Moving your head around because you can't see. And those things are coming in at 100 miles an hour.

You can't see it, then it hits your shin.

They used to not wear masks.

Yeah.

Think about that.

That part's nuts.

Crazy.

What. What year was that? That they.

That's when hockey was hockey, Dano and I used to pay attention to it. Now it's gone.

That is crazy.

Roy? Yes. When did goalie start wearing helmets? When did that happen? I can't speak. What happened?

Around the sixties, I believe. Right.

The first goalie to wear a mask was in 1959. So Tony was like, what, six, seven. You remember that far back?

13?

Greg was five.

Roman a duzet. Get it? Carolina hurricanes. Congratulations on staving off elimination. Sean Payton saying that Bo Nicks has been exactly what we saw in scouting him. It'd be odd if he was different. I mean, was he supposed to say reports at a Broncos rookie mini camp on Knicks? Unbelievably accurate. Fully in command of the offense, decisive. Next thing you're going to tell me is this guy turned the water into wine. Jesus Christ.

Really?

Amen. Dan, just circling back, any guesses on who coaches the thunder?

Yeah, I don't know how to pronounce his name. It's got a.

His name looks one way, but then they pronounce it another way and I'm like, is that how you say it?

Yeah. Dev Rao. I don't know.

At one point. Good guess. At one point in Saturday's Cubs Pirates game, the Pirates walked in six runs in a single inning. They won the game. Baseball. When Steven Strasberg made his MLB debut 14 years ago, the Pirates leadoff hitter was Andrew McCutcheon. When Paul ski res, whatever his name is, made his MLB debut this weekend, the Pirates lead off hitter was Andrew McCutcheon. Still doing it?

Yeah, he is.

Kutch. One of the best ever.

That's not true.

Not really.

Top five athletes that can help. Pirates number five, Captain Curtis Stevenson.

That's not an athlete.

He's in sports.

That's not an athlete. It's a local radio show host, a.

High school football star. I'm telling you. North Miami. Check it out.

He is not.

Miami likes high.

You're making shit up now.

It's pretty good. Number four, Rory Sparrow. Number three, Riddick Bow.

Why? Riddick bow.

Bow. Pirate.

What?

Look it up. What?

Like Roy Jones junior should be on the. You just did Rory Sparrow off of Captain Jack Sparrow, which is a reach. But then you just. I don't know what you're going for.

Captain Bow.

I don't know what you're going for. On Riddick bow number two. Explain to. No, explain to me what you mean. What? These are your lists. You're doing this. Riddick bow gives on pirates. How?

You're not a pirate. And you're certainly not a guy who spends a lot of time the water. I am telling you that a bow is something that connotes a pirate. And that's all I can tell.

You think they have, like, bow and arrows?

The bow is the forward part of the hull of a ship. The bow.

The bow.

It's spelled bow.

Says that.

Riddick bow.

Take it. Bow. Bow e. Number two. Josh booty. You get that one. Are you splitting? Number one, Doug plank.

No. Rory Jones Junior? No. Captain Hook.

Come on my list. Make your up. I'm here for it.

Okay.

Where was it? T wolves do it at home. My wife asked me over the weekend if the Thunder coach was also the team trainer. He looks like a trainer.

He's got a trainer face.

Hey, Bronny. Enjoy Atlanta. The ATL, you have to take him, right?

What?

You get Bronny. They have the number one pick.

Yeah, number one.

You're going to get a player better than his dad in the draft.

Seriously, I was thinking about this. This has Shabazz Napier 2.0 written all over it. Right, where a team drafts brawny. Because I think this is the key to keeping LeBron on this team. And then LeBron leaves, and then you're stuck with Shabazz Napier.

That's a thing that happened to the.

Miami Heat in this week's edition of who could have saw that coming? The Lakers are intrigued by JJ Reddick as head coach. Make up your mind, JJ.

They're also open to drafting Browning.

Who saw that one coming. Dan, you know what the J and J Reddick stands for? Jeff, Saturday.

If JJ coaches LeBron, do they still do their podcast?

Yeah. You know what? Decide if you want to be a podcaster, a media member or coach. Just figure it out already, JJ. That's all. That's all I'm saying.

He doesn't have to. Is he bothering you?

A coach and a podcaster?

For a while, I was. I didn't get paid for it. Coaching.

Love the game.

Yep. And the kids. For the kids. Where was it? Coach Calipari saying he only wants eight or nine scholarship players this year at Arkansas instead of 13. Can't wait until they get eliminated in the first or second round of the tournament. And the first thing out of Calipari's mouth is, I wish I had more scholarship players. This guy, man, sick of him. Arkansas. You'll be sick of him soon, I promise. We'll see. NFL. Make me wait one more week for the schedules. And you know what I'll do? I'll wait one more week for the schedules.

Not much of a threat by you.

I need schedules, man.

I. Did I read incorrectly that it's my homes and Lamar Jackson. Week one.

Are they just game of the year?

But they're. They're releasing just a little bit. A little thing?

Yeah. I love a pivotal game. Five. Andrew Nemhor. Is that his name?

Yes.

Has as many moments as Reggie Miller. A group of people. I don't like. Joggers. Stop showing off.

What? They're just exercising what they do to you. I think Jessica's a jogger, isn't she?

Can't stand them.

I thought you meant, like Yara Mirror. Like his family.

But the joggers. The things you do. Driving around the midwest on a gummy in the passenger seat. Top five groups. I don't like journalists.

That was number five.

That was number four, cyclist. Number three, the Beatles. Overrated, Roy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Overrated. Good. Take two joggers. Not the joggers. And number one, the Jets.

Jar. Amir's family.

I didn't scratch it off and I'm not gonna skip it. Nuggets. T wolves.

Why wouldn't you skip it?

The series that keeps starting.

Why? Why wouldn't you skip it?

The only thing that could save the next season is the mecca.

His brain doesn't work fast enough.

The b in Bruin stands for Boston is on the brink. Anthony Edwards, blah, blah, blah.

He just scored. What do you.

43 and lost two straight at home. But that's why you don't compare him to Michael Jordan. You don't do it. That's why you don't do it. Because it's an unfair comparison that, quite frankly, Anthony Edwards wants nothing to do with. I'm not doing this for Anthony Edwards. I'm not blasting him. I'm blasting the media. Leave the poor kid alone. Let him develop. He's going to go through some growing pains because Michael Jordan never, ever, ever would have lost two straight at home in the playoffs. Ever.

Scoring 43 or whatever isn't a growing pain.

How about the game before that?

Okay.

Less than 20.

Excellent work by you. The one he most recently played.

Yeah.

Set a franchise record for the Timberwolves for playoff score.

We lost. Okay, great news for Bears fans. They no longer have to pencil in Caleb Williams as their starter. They can use any. They announced it. Indiana Pacers, congratulations on holding serve. If I seem a bit frazzled, we have no water, the AC is broken out of music, and it's hot as hell in here. Speaking of hell, harp riles Dan, those are the weekend observations.