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You're listening to DraftKings network.

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This is the Dan Levator show with the Stugats podcast.

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They're making another karate kid sequel to the one that he did, like, ten years ago with Jaden Smith.

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No.

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Yeah. 2025. It's imposed.

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Did I read correctly on the Internet that it's supposed to tie in all the karate?

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Yes, it's going to. It's the multiverse coming together, everybody.

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Much of that Miyagi doe, including cobra kai from Netflix.

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Yeah, everybody. Well, they're all coming out well, other than Mister Miyagi recipes. But everybody else is coming back. Oh, man.

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Mike sounds disappointed.

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What?

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I'm just multiversus. I'm just done.

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Well, this is. This is one that needs to happen. I'm all for. I don't like multiverses just for the sake of multiverses. I like it when we're merging. We're merging universes here. So they're all seeing canon. That's what we need here.

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Is there one, above all others, that would excite you more than the others? Because I'm surprised by this karate kid reaction from you that you want all of these things tied together when the most recent entries into this haven't been very good. Not as memorable as the first.

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You know what they're tying together? It's an upcoming movie. It's in active development. Greenlit. Gi Joe with Transformers. Whoa.

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The crossover. I read those comics in, like, 1987 where there's a crossover between Gi Joe and Transformers. Unfortunately, we have. We got, I think, one good Transformers movie, the Michael Baylot, the first one with Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox. But we've never gotten a good Gi Joe movie. And I would say to Hollywood, before you cross those two over, you gotta give me one good GI Joe movie, because Gi Joe has all the makings of a great franchise. If you just gave a shit about the writing and not just explosions in.

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CGI, how about GI Joe, Transformers, and Robert De Niro? A thick Robert De Niro falling, plummeting for several stories in what is the few rigors before final rigor mortis.

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Hear me out here. It's a dystopian future. Sergeant Slaughter is 81 years old.

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Stolen Balor.

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What?

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Yeah. He never actually served, and he went around, like, pretending that he did.

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Wait, wow.

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Sergeant Slaughter from GI Joe wasn't actually a sergeant?

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No.

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Was his name slaughter in real life? Yeah.

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It couldn't have been. It's not Warren Sharp and it's not sergeant.

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What?

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Yeah, but he would. The. He was from an era of wrestling where they kept Kayfabe and he just, like, kept pretending he had served. Like, people would say, thank you for your service. He'd be like, anytime, young man.

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Dude, how do you look? Are we penalizing people for being in character? I'm sorry for committing to the. To the art form, the thespianism.

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I don't think that that's what he was doing.

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I kind of feel like it was. That's. Look, if Daniel Day Lewis did it, you'd be jerking off all over yourself.

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Oh, come on.

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Yeah, I would be.

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Aggressive description.

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I mean, what is it? What is that?

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I'm just saying.

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You're just saying what?

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That's me. Daniel Day Lewis. I see that photo of Daniel Day Lewis looking like Lincoln before he's about to start filming Lincoln. And you know what I do? I mean, I jerk off all over myself. That's what I do.

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Lincoln, who you outed the other.

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Don't make this a rejoin because context needs to be applied. I'm clearly being sarcastic.

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And get on it.

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I only do that when Tom Cruise is preparing.

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Oh, man. Tom Cruise. Let's talk about Tom Cruise. I can't get enough of Tom Cruise talk. It's amazing. Did you know that he's only made one? Other than the mission impossible movies, he's only made one sequel in his entire career. Every single one of these great movies he delivers us outside. The great mission Impossible movies are one.

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Top Gun is the only sequel he's ever done?

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I believe so.

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Is that right?

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That's the only.

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That can't be right. That simply can't be right.

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I'm the mission impossible.

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All of the mission impossibles.

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Wow.

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The reacher. Jack Reacher was just.

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No, Jack Reacher had sequels. Wow.

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And when you do seven sequels for one frame, well, that's like, what are we playing with?

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You got your myth, boss?

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Yeah.

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Okay, hold on, hold on.

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We've got a major penalty.

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Five minutes derailing.

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I could talk about Tom Cruise. For hours. Let me give you this amazing fact that's immediately disproven by Jack Reacher. I mean, I can talk for hours about Tom Cruise. Let me regole you regal you a tail.

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Don't play with your drawstrings.

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Major penalty.

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Five minutes for stumbling.

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The only way I'm in for the GI Joe Transformers crossover, if somebody's disavowed by the us government, is somebody going to be disavowed by the us government?

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Well, it's got to be Gi Joe, right? That's. That's. That's the Gi Joe movie, right? The Gi Joe movie. Is that Gi Joe? There's some government agency that's like, yeah, we're spending how much on these guys? These guys are just mercenaries. And then they cut them loose. But then Cobra, Cobra teams up with the Decepticons and everyone realizes and they get the test, right. And the only way we can save the world is if Gi Joe comes in. Meanwhile, Optimus prime, maybe Optimus prime is.

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The Allspark in Transformers.

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Oh, it's the. The Matrix. They had to change the name, but it was called the Matrix. Remember when Optimus prime died and they took it out of his chest and they gave it the hot rod? He became Rodimus prime. And then they played that great song. You got the touch, bam, bam, bam. You got the power. And then all of a sudden, like, the Autobots just go. Rolled out. And then they thought they killed Megatron. But then this planet, Unicron, right, it's a planet that eats other planets, finds the bloodied and beaten. Well, not bloodied because the rob what? Megatron floating in space because starscream sold them out. He was like, yo, this guy's not a worthy leader. So they cast him aside. He was in space. He's gonna die. And Unicron came up and said, I'm gonna make you even better. He turned him into Galvatron. Megatron, if you remember, was just a gun. He turned into a galvanic Calvin Johnson. Yeah, Galvatron turned into a cannon, dude. A laser ion cannon.

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And then these universes need to get more ambitious if they're going to shoot for these crossovers.

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I just don't understand why they don't just follow the source material. The source material is there. We don't need to be cute about any of this.

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You know what I would really pop for is just like, all right, this is a Transformers movie, but it's in Aaron Brockovich's universe. Oh, my God, Julia Roberts is back.

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I love that idea.

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Yeah, and she's just here now you got to deal with, like, yeah, you thought that that town's water supply was bad. Now guess what, Decepticons.

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The water supply is getting worse again. And everyone's like, it's the big, bad industrial company. Like, no, it's not us, we swear. Turns out it is the Decepticons. They've been doing this. They're poisoning the town's water supply. And now who's got to come in to save the day? None other than Ethan Hunt, who's been disavowed by.

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Oh, thank God.

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Do you think Ethan's age, the character, not Tom. Do you think at any point they start referencing Sagen's getting up there?

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I think when Tom can't do the stunts as well because he's starting to.

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His face is changing.

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His face definitely has signs of aging, but, man, his hair. His hair is incredible. And he's still jumping and running like a third.

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He looks fluid. He's got a great gait.

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Yeah, like, that's the thing everyone's talking about. Hgh. Look. Hgh. Don't do that, man.

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Oh, no, it's doing something.

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Don't do that.

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He's doing something.

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Don't do that.

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I would love to know his diet. Do you think he just, like, doesn't drink? Like, what do you like about Wahlberg?

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Like, he up at like four in the morning? Works out.

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Works out three times.

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Have you ever seen that, that ig reel? The tick tock? Like, my 24 hours is three days. Yeah. My first day, 6 hours. You give me three. You stack three of those, I'm kick your butt.

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Yeah.

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Sec day 212 to six. Yeah, I'm ahead of the game. You sacked that over. I'm gonna kick your ass. That guy.

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I haven't seen it, but I've seen it.

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It's great.

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You guys have been making fun of me because I'm always talking about how many. Just the great proliferation of over 50 action stars. Liam Neeson. Hell, Bob Odenkirk with a wink, did an action movie as sort of just a tribute to how absurd it is that we continue to make these old people still Hollywood action stars. But we were talking about Chuck Norris earlier in the show. You're talking about superimposing him on a green screen. You have no proof that Chuck Norris is actually on the set during this movie. Correct. From what it is that you've seen, what's going to Hulu.

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I hope we have the still image of the group shot that they have in this film. It's very clearly a dummy that is in place of Chuck Norris. They didn't get Chuck Norris, or he just. He didn't want to fly into the set that day. And every single solo shot of Chuck Norris in the film is very clearly, according to reports, him in front of a green screen. And for group shots, they only shoot from the back. It's very clearly a dummy. It's not like a mannequin, not an idiot.

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The reason why is because he's so decrepit at this point. He can't be moving around too much.

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I just don't think, yeah, I'll take that money, but I don't want to go anywhere.

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You think what? Who do you think falls into the ocean better at that age? Chuck Norris or Robert de Niro?

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Well, do we have the video of Chuck Norris lifting weights? Because I would. I would venture to say it's easily.

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Chuck Norris, but I think they fall. Both fall like something that is cement.

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Soap, like a mannequin. Push a mannequin over, and that's what it looked like.

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Just.

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Was that really Robert De Niro? Do we know that? It could have been just a stunt dump.

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But when they mentioned Greg Cody. Greg Cody has a similar thickness to him. This is not a frail, 80 year.

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Old Brian Dennehy barrel chest type of thing. That is like an all timer. Who's your favorite barrel chest?

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I like Don Nelson.

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Don Nelson's great. You know, he has a house made of hemp.

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I mean, he is. He is somebody who is very famously a marijuana advocate. But, no, I did put it on the poll.

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Please.

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Juju, did you know that Don Nelson senior had a house made of hemp? Because I don't think that's common knowledge. But he. He also had. I don't know whether I'd go barrel chested with Don Nelson because it was mostly gin belly. Yes, it was aggressive gin belly.

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The chest had fallen.

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Well, the chest had fallen into the belly region. So there's a thickness there, but it's just his titties are sitting on the shelf. That is his belly.

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He said titties, like, shocked me a little bit. I wasn't quite prepared for titties.

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In that case, then, my favorite barrel tested is that man right there.

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That man, Chris Cody, last seen drawing his strings in an interview with his face too close to tua.

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Look at that nip.

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Tua tunga viloa. It is a barrel chest. It is a whiskey with this, a nipple. And those nipples were in cahoots, clearly, with Roger Goodell Tua, the Dolphins and the NFL to crush the minority candidacy of Brian Flores for future employment.

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He's a member of the GBF. No, he's a 1440 boys.

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Yeah, 1440 boys.

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That's the crime family. That syndicate get a new selfie, though, so that we can put it up.

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There with the nips.

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Can you guys please tell me. Mike Ryan was reading to me the new Fox lineup here, and I don't know, the curiosity, so I will ask the group. I know many of you have objected to me talking about gut feel overnight, but I find it interesting that skip Bayless is rather quietly. Not enough was made of this. I mean, you spend eight years at a network and you don't get a goodbye show.

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I don't think he wanted one. I think he would have. I think I'm entitled to one.

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You think Skip Bayless had, like, heartfelt words to say in his goodbye? Ah, the guy. His goodbye would have been like, Bronnie James is going to be better than LeBron because LeBron wasn't that good to be in with.

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Okay, so, but we've talked before about his existence being fundamentally eat chicken and broccoli every day, work out a couple times a day and do sports, debate television. It's his whole life. He's even said Ernestine understands that she takes second place to how career driven he is.

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He's married.

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Yes.

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Yeah.

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And he is obsessed with this thing, married to the game that he now tries to evolve in his seventies. And Fox is moving on from him. And what's their lineup going to look like? I have many of you think that I am bitter about sports television. I just like it to be better. I don't think it's that hard luck. I don't think it's that hard to make it better. Nick Wright makes it better.

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Well, Nick Wright is once again the, the anchor of the entire FS one lineup. They have trotted out and announced their, their brand new daily lineup. And it's beginning at 08:00 a.m. what was the carton show is now breakfast ball.

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What is Tim Hardaway going to do?

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Is it the same, different, different cast?

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It seems like Carton's there. He's front and center with Plexigl Burruss and Tim Hardaway. Mark is on this image and our friend Denny Parkinson is also getting on this show. So that's cool.

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So that is one of Nick Wright's closest friends here. This is an interesting thing to watch here, how Nick Wright accrues power there as he takes over.

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The way to take away Danny's achievements and attribute them to just knowing Nick Wright.

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Parkinson is very good, and Nick Wright is helping build the economy around him at a network that's going to support the things that Nick Wright is building.

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Next show.

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This means my guide, Jacobi's outlandish. My God.

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Tim Hardaway, he may still be a contributor. He just didn't make the graphic. What do you got?

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I thought Michelle Beetle was reported to be a part of that show.

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I don't know what you want from me. I'm just reading the graphic. Like, if Michelle Beatles a part of the show, why isn't she in the graphic? Take that up with the graphic department. But this is what's out there. Okay. The next show is the facility. And this star is Emanuel Acho, Lashawn McCoy, James Jones, I think the former Green Bay packers wide receiver. That's two question marks, I'm pretty sure. And I think it's a white guy with a beard, so it's tough. But I believe this is Chase Daniel, the former Heisman candidate. Long time back.

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Is it?

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What is that Rob Ninkovich?

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Oh, that could be. It's tough. This is not in my defense.

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I don't know.

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Wait, that's chase.

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That's chase.

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Okay, but where's. Where's Joy Taylor?

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I'm getting to it, guys.

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Okay.

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Damn it.

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You want to do this or should I?

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No, I'm just asking.

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Cut to the chase.

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Yes.

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That's not a show on. Wow, that's a good, great name.

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Wow.

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Why isn't it called that?

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Someone get that show. And get the drawstring guy from Levitar. Get that guy on there. The herd with Colin Cowherd at noon. First things first, which is not the first thing that is first, but it is the anchor. It is 03:00 and speak continues on with the leftovers of undisputed Paul Pierce, who sucks, Keyshawn Johnson and Joy Taylor hosting that show. But keep in mind, if you take anything away from this conversation, said, Paul Pierce sucks.

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Stu Gatz here. For my friends over at Simplisafe, if you're like me, you're constantly thinking about the safety of the people and things you value most. After a friend told me about a break in in his home in which many of his most valuable possessions were stolen, I knew I needed to secure my home with the best. I've trusted Simplisafe to protect my home for six years now. And the level of security and customer care has been incredible. I sleep better every night. Knowing Simplisafe's 24/7 monitoring agents are standing by to protect me and my home, they'll also send emergency help when I need it most. I want you to have the same peace of mind that I had so many listeners experience every day, which is why I partner with simplisafe. To offer listeners 20% off a system, just visit simplisafe.com dlb. What I love most is that simplisafe just keeps getting better. Protect your home this summer with 20% off any new simplisafe system. When you sign up for fast protect monitoring, just visit simplisafe.com dlb. That's simplisafe.com dlb. There's no safe like simplisafe.

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Don Lebatard.

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You owe me everything.

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You owe me everything.

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You have added ten years of my career.

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Yes, I have.

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This man has. You haven't. That man.

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Who the hell are you, stugats?

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I am.

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Who the hell are you?

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Bullshit me.

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You're a rude young man.

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You're a fool. You're a fool.

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I already called you a fool.

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Right. You can't call me a idiot again.

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It's a fool twice.

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You're an idiot.

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Or dismissing how much I've helped you.

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This is the Dan Levator show with the Stugots.

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That's right, it's Thursday thunder, and it's brought to you by DraftKings. Stay tuned because you're gonna hear more about what DraftKings has to offer all throughout the show. Draftkings. The crown is yours, Tony. What did you do?

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Cook up the.

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Thank you. The beautiful mind of juju Gottis put together another banger of a parlay. Three legs on this one. First leg, we're going pulse strikeouts. Under seven and a half. Really under seven for Paul Skienes, that is.

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I'd be scared of.

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With a quick caveat of player. Must start and throw at least one pitch.

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I want him to go. Every time he pitches. I expect double digit strikeouts. I'm scared of betting the under there. I should tell the people Juju cares about this deeply. He invests in this. He takes great, great care with it. And he keeps going two out of three like he's never going one out of three. He's never going over three. If you've been betting juju individually, you're winning money because he keeps going two of three.

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Second leg of the Thursday Thunder. Chicago bears minus one against the Kansas city Chiefs tonight on defacto. Thursday Night Football. Very exciting.

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I'm just scared of and you can't bet preseason games. You gotta be a crazy person.

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Three weeks away from an Amazon cow Thursday night. Oh, give me that. I don't count. Chiefs, Ravens. That. That's too good. Give me the slope.

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Last leg, New York Liberty against the Dallas Wings. New York Liberty at home. Juju is taking the under at 95 and a half total team points for the Liberty. So again, under Paul Skeen, strikeouts at seven and a half. Chicago bears minus one in a pickem and under 95 and a half points for your New York.

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I saw that Caitlin Clark and Angel Reese are tops in jersey sales. A whole bunch of fresh blood coming to the WNBA, and no sign of dissipation in terms of the momentum that they've built over the last 18 months. The idea that you're just injecting the equivalent of bird magic early in career rivalry stuff, that's where the NBA started to blossom, when it became. When it became the competition between these two people that a whole bunch of different people liked or disliked.

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This is the tipping point, Dan. Right? Like, this is. And the funny thing is, when you think about it, the NBA was about, I want to say, 35 years old, a little. A little bit shy. 35 years old when bird of magic came along. Right?

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Games still on tape delay. The finals games in 1981 are still on tape delay. In the middle of the night. It's like it's after midnight. You're watching finals games being decided after.

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The late show, right after Carson is on, and they're going to throw that on. So now you think about the double, which started in 1996, and that's coming up on around 30 years. So, like, this is it. This is what it's all building for. And this speaks to, hey, Rome wasn't built in a day. None of these great franchises, none of these great industries or sports were instant. They were built over time. And there's a tipping point. And this is the tipping point it feels like for the WNBA. Doesn't mean that these are the two best players, but they're the ones that are pushing it across that line.

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Amine has reached another, I think, technological tipping point. If you know Amin's history, you know that as an advanced scout and an information broker, he made his living in this country trying to figure out advantages that his organization could have other over other organizations. When he was with the Phoenix Suns, it's how he hustled his way up into the front office in this business. Are you objecting to the technology that is now happening in baseball with these pitching machines? I don't know, if you guys have seen some of what's happened in baseball, okay, but if you're not following closely, every second baseman is reach, every shortstop is reaching into his pocket and grabbing a set of notes that tells him exactly where to play for every hitter. And they've got so much information that they're using that it is simply crazy. The place that baseball has arrived, both knowledge, talent, and I would say, thirdly, the technology, and now these pitching machines are able to simulate almost exactly how it is that Clayton Kershaw's slider or curveball is going to come in from a pitching machine that is also visually creating for you. It looks exactly like Clayton Kershaw throwing you baseballs.

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And now the technology is simulating exactly two dozen of his curveballs so that you can get the timing of it perfectly right.

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More so, think about a regular pitching machine now. Build a led screen in front of it, and it's projecting an image of the picture that you're about to face going through his wind up, his routine and his release. And then the ball comes out of a hole in the middle of the screen. And so what they're able to do is preload hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of pitches and have the AI algorithmically create and simulate these pitches. And so the argument a lot of pitchers are making, and I learned about this all from, I believe Jeff Patson had something about it, the argument the pitchers are making is like, this is not natural, right? Like, it's one thing for Barry Bonds. We played the clip last week, right? Barry Bonds and Greg Maddox, and they're just watching independently the film, and they're both telling you what's going to happen. But that's based on these guys are a, baseball geniuses, and b, they played a shit ton of baseball.

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I love that clip so much, you might as well have had Daniel Day Lewis prepping for a role.

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My favorite part was when Greg Maddox says, I probably should, like, experience tells me I should do this, but I'm probably gonna do the wrong thing here. And sure enough, he does the wrong thing.

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That's a good pitch, though. It's a good pitch.

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He does point that out. But again, these guys built whole careers of doing this the hard way, basically of facing one another and learning each other's tendencies. And now a kid can sit down and basically download a career's worth of knowledge, and within 15 minutes, I get the gist of it.

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But isn't that the beauty of everywhere we're headed in our addiction to these things that give us a lifetime of wisdom so that we don't have to actually learn anything, we just have to learn how to find it. Like that. That's. Well, that is where all of us are headed with the addiction to this appendage of a phone. I have at my access the ability to see all of life's philosophers wisdoms accrued throughout the world's history at my fingertips. Why wouldn't I use that information to gain advantages wherever advantages are to be gained?

[00:24:03]

I think it's not about gaining advantages so much as it's about the desire to have the knowledge. In other words, I think the problem is people are just finding the information and just. That's all I need. Is that right? Imagine me giving you a book and you say, all I need is page three, and you give me the rest of the book until something comes up from page seven and you come back and you take that page. And that kind of betrays the whole spirit of wanting to learn, wanting knowledge. I'll give you a great example from that's going super viral right now. The use of the word demure. And I'm like, you know, one of my friends said, yo, it tells me that a lot of you guys did not get good grades in English during school. Demure is like some word you've just discovered all at the same time and decided all to use it all at the same time. It's like, come on, where is our desire to actually know things as opposed to just picking it up from somewhere else and then running with it for a few weeks?

[00:24:58]

Doesn't everybody want shortcuts to learning, though?

[00:25:00]

I think shortcuts to learning is, man, it's one of those things where the journey is part is maybe more important than the destination.

[00:25:08]

Say that to my grass. Journey is not part of the destination. I wish somebody would have told me, hey, this is how you actually cut the grass. You do x, Y and z. Like, I should have watched a YouTube video on it. By the way, I have a leaky toilet at this new place, and I'm trying to watch a video on it. And a guy on the train today next to me was like, this guy doesn't know how to fix a toilet. Yeah, dude, I don't know how to fix a toilet. My dad did teach me how to.

[00:25:28]

Fix a toilet, man. Let me just say, I try to fix my toilet and never again. I hate. You know the number one thing I hate more than anything is walking into Home Depot saying, hey, this is my problem. Like, is this something I should get someone? Like, no, that's an easy fix. You could do it yourself. And I'm like, oh, cool. It's never an easy fix.

[00:25:45]

Have you ever found the random handyman just chilling at Home Depot? Like, there's like. They just chill if they're looking for work.

[00:25:52]

Yeah.

[00:25:52]

And they're just, like, hovering around.

[00:25:54]

If I were a male escort, I would hang out at a home Depot for coverage.

[00:25:57]

It's always like, you need help. You need help with something. It's like you don't work here or.

[00:26:01]

Police station or a native american reservation or whatever.

[00:26:05]

I would just hang out there because I would fit in. Like, oh, this guy's ready to be handy. And, yes, I am.

[00:26:10]

Look at Jeremy. I don't understand.

[00:26:15]

Do you need a shortcut to learning?

[00:26:17]

Do you believe in easy to assemble furniture? Is it easy to assemble for you?

[00:26:21]

It's never easy. That's my point. That's exactly the Allen wrench.

[00:26:24]

It's a plague on humanity.

[00:26:25]

Put it on the pole, please. Juju at Levitar show. Is the Alan wrench a plague on humanity?

[00:26:29]

Yeah, right. You get this box of stuff, and you're like, wait, I can put all of this together with this little thing right here?

[00:26:35]

Well, this amazing tears apart your fingers.

[00:26:37]

And a pamphlet that has no words, just has a cartoon character going, pointing this way with a big smile, and then, like, a arrow going counterclockwise. And that's it. I'm supposed to know, based on these images and this little Tyler iron wrench, I'm gonna take these random assortment of lumber and screws and turn them into this beautiful sectional couch.

[00:26:59]

So I have, like, a whole Allen wrench set up for my screwdriver. Was a life changing thing.

[00:27:03]

Oh, what?

[00:27:04]

Who is it easy for? For professionals, it's very easy.

[00:27:08]

Yes.

[00:27:08]

For, like, us, it's not easy.

[00:27:10]

So it's like, it's easy for the task. Rabbit that I.

[00:27:12]

Where's g two?

[00:27:15]

The handyman wandering around Home Depot. It's easy for him if he's trying to get little side hustle work that fixing of the toilet. I'm embarrassed, though, at how our show sounds every time we talk about this stuff. No, because I know we're normal people.

[00:27:32]

I'm really good at it. It's really good.

[00:27:35]

I don't even know how to use.

[00:27:35]

A water goes to the tube, and then it goes.

[00:27:38]

Nothing happens.

[00:27:39]

Have you seen if the. The flapper is sealed?

[00:27:40]

Flappers, good. Tube that goes into the other tube.

[00:27:43]

Is dripping water with the thing.

[00:27:46]

He like, I hate putting my hands in there. I have to do it all the time.

[00:27:52]

All the time.

[00:27:52]

Yes, I do.

[00:27:53]

Because I've got baby skin soft. I'm really good at the plumbing toilet.

[00:27:58]

In a, in a building that is old, and I am not good at any of these things. And I can feel the audience's judgment and I can feel that it's earned.

[00:28:07]

They stink at it, too.

[00:28:08]

No, no.

[00:28:09]

Dan, do you have this part with you when you're like, you know what they said? It's easy, I'm going to do it. And then hours later, you're angry, you're cursing, you're angry at the thing that you're trying to fix. You're angry at the tools you're using. You're angry at the Home Depot guy who told you it was easy. But most of all, it's all a cover because you know, deep down inside, you're angry at yourself.

[00:28:26]

I am.

[00:28:26]

For just being inadequate.

[00:28:28]

I'm a little angry at myself, but I'm also angry at my father for being Tony's cuban father and teaching me nada. Teaching me nada.

[00:28:36]

I think my dad's ever put his hand in the toilet before.

[00:28:40]

My father only taught me get friends who can fix things.

[00:28:43]

Imagine having a jewish cuban dad.

[00:28:45]

Even worse.

[00:28:47]

I am terrible at this and I'm embarrassed all the time when my wife's on a ladder fixing something in her house. And I can't, like, I'm just not good at that stuff. And she's very good at it. And that's great.

[00:28:59]

Yes, that's, yo, that's a match made in heaven. That get you someone who loves doing that shit. That's. That's my advice to the audience. Find you someone who loves doing that shit. And then, like, you gotta do some stuff that they don't like to do either. And that's what a great marriage is all built on, like, mutual, real romance.

[00:29:17]

That she can fix the table, and.

[00:29:18]

It never works that way because there's always resentment of why aren't you fixing it? You're the man in the house. And I'm like, ah, what's the saddest.

[00:29:24]

Thing you've ever paid someone to do?

[00:29:26]

About to.

[00:29:28]

Hey, yo, I actually paid a handyman this week to. I had, you know, the toilet paper rolls that go on the wall?

[00:29:34]

Wait a minute.

[00:29:35]

Came loose and I'm like, how do you fix that? How do you get behind the wall? Like, I don't know. How do this. Like, I've made the whole loser out of it. This is a puzzle. It's like a finger that is just moving. I'm like four years old. I can't figure it out. So I'm like, look, man, I tried, and I don't want to glue this thing to the wall, so can you do me a favor? Can you figure it out, man, he got it so tight.

[00:29:59]

Yeah, you got him for the whole.

[00:30:01]

There's a lot of language in here. That handyman. What's the most you paid for something embarrassing? There's a lot of language.

[00:30:07]

The most you paid. What's the most embarrassing thing you've paid for moving on?

[00:30:11]

What?

[00:30:12]

I paid, one time, I paid a guy to change my lock.

[00:30:15]

Oh, yeah. I did that after I tried to do it myself.

[00:30:18]

And again, he got over my guy. He got over, and he's like, what do you need? Well, I'm here. And I was like, can you just. I have this new lock I need. I want to change the lock on my door. He's just like, that's, that's it. And I'm just like, yeah. How much? He's like, $40.

[00:30:33]

I'm.

[00:30:34]

I don't even know whether that's a lot or not.

[00:30:35]

I'm always embarrassed by these situations. I just had difficulty. I had to go downstairs in a storage facility because. Because I used a key, a storage key to open something, and then I couldn't get the storage thing up, and so I had to go down, and the guy just comes over and slides a thing, and I'm looking at him as I'm the slide log.

[00:30:52]

That's a tricky one, dan.

[00:30:53]

No, it's not. I'm just really bad at these things, and I'm perpetually like, why isn't it moving?

[00:31:00]

Mike, what's the most embarrassing thing you've paid for?

[00:31:02]

Tyler Van Dyke.

[00:31:04]

That's a great answer.

[00:31:10]

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[00:32:21]

That's not my favorite region. Context needs to be applied over joke and thought.

[00:32:26]

The context was applied.

[00:32:27]

We. We'd like to rip that out of context. I was going for a thing. And you're gonna have a family.

[00:32:34]

You're gonna pretend here that you don't love Matthew Kachuk more than you love. I don't you've ever loved.

[00:32:39]

I don't love Matthew Kachak more than my daughter. Stugats now. It's pretty damn close.

[00:32:44]

This is the Dan Levator show with the Stugots.

[00:32:51]

Let me show the audience here a picture that was going viral yesterday of how loose Mike McDaniel has gotten with his esthetics. Because Miami has happened to this man in a way that makes him look a little more ragged, a little more suave, a little more. A little more sunshine, and a little more undercurrent of Miami mafioso than when he got here. When he got here, it was a lot of forehead. You can see all the surface area there on the forehead, but now the hair, and it's a little bit of a castaway look on the grooming. He's. He's ready. What are you. That's.

[00:33:31]

It's not cast away. That's rugged.

[00:33:34]

Most dudes don't have a cool, patchy beard, but it's worked out for him because it kind of looks like he intended to do it, and he had it manicured that way. But I just think that's patchy.

[00:33:43]

Which is the real him when he first got here or now?

[00:33:46]

I. I have a theory that the one on the right, the one Miami Mike, I think that's the real Mike McDaniel. And the disguise was, I'm trying to get hired. Mike forehead.

[00:33:56]

I'm gonna try. Try to get hired by giving you a lot of forehead.

[00:33:58]

Yeah. I'm gonna look at prim and proper and, like, I'm literally auditioning for a job, but once I get it, I get to be Mike.

[00:34:05]

I gotta tell you guys. You guys remember. You guys keep forgetting Mike McDaniel. Is black, so he's very well versed in code switching. And so what Mike Ryan is saying is absolutely accurate. You show up to the job and you say, yes, sir, no, sir. Oh, I'd love it. And then as soon as you get that job, and it's like the contract ain't dry. All right, I'm about to be me.

[00:34:21]

It's like Superman. Superman is a superhero, where his actual real identity is Superman. The costume that he puts on is Clark Kent. And that's what you're seeing right there.

[00:34:33]

You guys think that this was a disguise that he put on at the beginning to just get the job, the way that you all wear your best clothes to the first of the job interviews, the way Chris Cody did for the Tua interview.

[00:34:45]

That's right.

[00:34:46]

Where you're just trying to, you're trying to dress to impress with a tie and a forehead. You're trying to land the job. And that's a man who's, who knows he can coach offense now, and so he doesn't have to worry about shaving anymore.

[00:34:58]

Dan, also, you want to. I want to point out, if we could put the image back up, the glasses. The glasses are great.

[00:35:03]

They're cooler.

[00:35:04]

Better glasses are getting bigger.

[00:35:06]

The old glasses.

[00:35:07]

They are.

[00:35:08]

Did you guys ask them about that? They're getting bigger.

[00:35:11]

Look at it like the old glasses. This is high. I'm with it. And these ones on the right are.

[00:35:15]

I am it.

[00:35:21]

Fix the toilet, though?

[00:35:23]

There is. I can't fix anything. I really can't. I. It's embarrassing.

[00:35:27]

You can't fix s h I t. Nothing.

[00:35:29]

Oh.

[00:35:34]

I want to.

[00:35:35]

Before, before we move on, I just want to ask you if you. If Mike McDaniel on the left, walks in and says, sir, my direct deposit hasn't hit, you're saying, well, bring it up with it with HR or whatever. Get out of my face. The one on the right says, where's my money?

[00:35:49]

There's a little bit of menace underneath.

[00:35:51]

You're pulling your pocket out of. Your wallet's out. You're emptying everything to make sure this man is happy.

[00:35:57]

He looks like someone that you would move away from in an alley because he's giving off the air of danger.

[00:36:03]

Well, he's not in an alley. What are you talking about? You know, he's got the guys in the alley. I'll tell you how. He's in an alley in the back of a white stretch limo.

[00:36:11]

Yeah.

[00:36:11]

And the window comes down. The window comes down, and you look in. It's like, oh, damn, it's big Mike. And he says, do you have my money? And you're like, well, I got it. But it's gonna take a little bit of time, and he's just gonna look at you with this look of disappointment, like, I really like you, Daniel. I really do. And the window comes back up, and then the thugs come out from the shadows, and they you up because you don't have his money.

[00:36:31]

Well, there wasn't. The hint of danger is implied, but he's not going to administer it. No, when you're saying, I've got guys. Because he's not big Mike. He's little Mike.

[00:36:44]

He snaps his fingers.

[00:36:45]

He's big mike. He's big mike. You know what you talk about? You snap your fingers and nothing happens. You think that happens for him? You think when he snaps his fingers, everyone goes about their day like he wants some video, whatever. No. No. You know why? Cause look how he shows up. That's someone to be feared and respected. Meanwhile, your goofy ass coming in here with a t shirt on and a big smile on your face, no glasses, nothing. Your hair is not. You don't have, like, that poofy, poofy hair.

[00:37:10]

I can't fix the toilet.

[00:37:12]

Can't fix a toilet. Come on, Dan.

[00:37:14]

I tell Chris Cody to dress. Dress in a way that's presentable for a dolphin interview. And he shows up in everything he showed up in with drawstring, just his titties.

[00:37:25]

I have.

[00:37:25]

I have an idea, though. What if Chris would have come ultra professional and been in a suit sitting in the middle of monocle?

[00:37:33]

We have to do something. When we do this next, we will do this with the Panthers or heat. We have to do Chris Cody. We cannot do this. Seriously. We have to. We have to make it more and more of a joke. But what I was saying here, I don't want. Okay. In perpetually lamenting that we don't do enough around here to just celebrate when sports people are great, when we're in the middle of history and we saw somebody who felt like an all time great Joey Vados career ended yesterday, more quietly than I would have liked. So rarely do these guys get to retire the way, exactly the way they want to. When he was with the Reds, it seemed like the perfect ending. But he went to Toronto, and they always think they've got a little bit more. And Joey Vado finally said, I am done. But for many, many years, in a nowhere franchise that used to be great, where he was the only rose growing out of that sewer. For 17 years, Joey Vado represented Cincinnati and baseball in a way that was maximum feared and respected, because he was feared as a hitter, and he was respected by everybody who played baseball.

[00:38:53]

And here he fights for the underdog, because this man was Cincinnati. Like, he represented Cincinnati in some of the same ways that Pete Rose did. If you want to watch that documentary on Max, he inherited the mantle from Pete Rose, except without the greatness of the teams. And here he is, undressing one of the masters on television, one of these New York bravado guys, the mad dog.

[00:39:14]

Couple of months ago, you said that Zach Greenke and I are hall of very good ballplayers. I think Zach and I would agree. You may be right. But I get the gist of what's going on here. I know what you're doing. You're looking down on us, a couple small market Midwest ball players, just because we're not big city, just like you. Mister New York City, SiriusXM radio star, Mister national television, ESPN star, with your fifth Avenue ties and your crisp pocket squares, your tailored suits and your polished shoes and your hair. Your perfectly coiffed Broadway hair. Must be nice to sit atop that Madison Avenue ivory tower looking down at us with those luscious locks. Not everyone can be the next Roger Peckinpah, mad Dog. You should be ashamed of yourself.

[00:40:06]

You're a disgrace.

[00:40:08]

He's gonna be a good broadcaster.

[00:40:09]

He's gonna be so great. Gotta put him as a color commentator, right?

[00:40:13]

I love the lady whose name escapes me, who's on the right side. Cause when she comes in, she looks. I'm not talking about physically. I'm talking about the looks on her face. Exactly like Chris Cody during the tour interview. Just an awkwardness of like.

[00:40:29]

But cool, calm, cool, collected, heavyset, playing with her drawstrings.

[00:40:33]

The drawstrings are the only thing that's missing. Shut the up, man.

[00:40:39]

Joey Vado's career, largely obscure, given what happened to baseball and the Reds, on his excellent watch. Like, watch. I don't want to say that his career was wasted in Cincinnati, but he ain't wrong when he says if he had put together that career in one of the big markets, it would be more recognized. I mean, he's not wrong.

[00:41:01]

Avenue tie and a Chris pocket square.

[00:41:03]

I don't know if you guys have watched a couple of these documentaries that have come out recently because you got the Pete rose one in four parts on Max, and you also have the murder of Air McNair, which just came out on Netflix. And I got to. I'm going to say, quote unquote, enjoy as the verb. I got to enjoy last night with my wife offering the color commentary on being introduced to Jeff Fisher as an interview.

[00:41:32]

Wow. You remember when Jeff Fisher was a fixture on this show?

[00:41:36]

I'm reminded of him every August 8 because everyone wishes. Yeah, happy Jeff Fisher day. And because of the new, like, regular season allotment, you can't sell it like he's the eight and eight guy no one's taking that from.

[00:41:48]

There will never be another Jeff Fisher.

[00:41:49]

No. Say that he owns eight and eight for four years.

[00:41:53]

We were talking about how he always went eight and eight, but my wife had the great commentary. So I'm watching something, and I don't know all of the details of how it is, is that Steve McMahon McNair was murdered. So I'm learning as I'm watching this, and Jeff Fisher is a central figure. And my. All my wife's controversy, all my wife's conversation was, is he always so sleepy? Does he always sound so sleepy?

[00:42:22]

Is that mega man? What happened? What was that?

[00:42:25]

Chris Cody, what is that?

[00:42:26]

Is that you look at me hurrying for. Looks like for Jeff Fisher.

[00:42:29]

Okay. And please find them as quickly as you can.

[00:42:32]

Detroit.

[00:42:33]

She asked me the question, was he a good coach? And they're showing them a yard from the Super bowl. And my answer was no. But the Dolphins flew him in a helicopter from Fort Lauderdale airport because they couldn't deal with traffic. They were so eager to interview him at one desperate period where they were going through Cam Cameron's and getting a. Jeff Fisher was some. Getting that mustache was something you really wanted. I didn't realize that Fisher's career started as a head coach when he was 36, that he was. He was a boy wonder before all of the boy wonders. I didn't realize it was that young that he was coaching Tennessee. You guys haven't seen the McNair documentary?

[00:43:12]

I watched the one that was on TNT two or three years ago. Like, that's. That's one of my big beefs again. You talk about people learning shortcuts to learning. Is that when I. When a Netflix documentary comes out about some shit that we know about? Cause someone just did it, how everyone discovers it for the first time? Cause it's on Netflix. And so you marveling at the details of the Steve McNair murder, I'm like, yeah, we knew this. It came on after the western Conference finals, like, two years ago.

[00:43:37]

If it's not a 1990s drama, I don't want to watch it. At this point. I'm in that era right now. Watch the Fisher King the other day.

[00:43:45]

It is a 1990s drama.

[00:43:47]

Hey, legends of the fall. You'll think, oh, great.

[00:43:49]

No, great film. Great film. File. File all day.

[00:43:54]

Chris Cody. What did you find on your search? Your beeping search for Jeff Fisher looks at judge code.

[00:43:59]

Sweetie, I just go say hello.

[00:44:02]

That's what I found.

[00:44:04]

Eric Mangini on the Sopranos.

[00:44:08]

That's not what I wanted.

[00:44:10]

Okay.

[00:44:10]

I'm good.

[00:44:13]

Summer's the best time to run the way you want. Dial it up with new challenges and programs, and bring your workouts with you to make the most of outside sunny days. Stu gatz. Guess what?

[00:44:21]

What?

[00:44:22]

You know, you can do with Peloton.

[00:44:23]

What?

[00:44:24]

Get the app. Go outside. Ride a bike.

[00:44:26]

Well, I thought you ride peloton inside.

[00:44:27]

Well, you do. You can ride peloton inside. If it's a rainy day or if it's cloudy or you just don't want to get outside. Maybe it's too hot. Summertime. Go outside.

[00:44:34]

I record a lot from my office with you, and you notice it's sitting there. Yet it hasn't been used.

[00:44:39]

Well, now's the time. Summer's the best time to start that. Push stugots, right?

[00:44:42]

Can we do it together?

[00:44:43]

Not on the same bike. But we could join a class together. I used to do that. We used to have Guillermo ton. I'd invite people. We'd all take a class together, same time.

[00:44:50]

So I think you're starting to get concerned about my health and my age. Billy, I sense that with you, we're beyond starting. Okay?

[00:44:56]

Whatever road lies ahead, your training starts here with peloton. Tread and tread. Plus, it's not just a bike. A treadmill, too.

[00:45:02]

I'm gonna go outside. I'm gonna get in shape. I'm gonna do it with Billy Gill. I want to be in your class. I want you to be my instructor.

[00:45:07]

You know what? I won't be your instructor.

[00:45:09]

You don't want to spend more time with me?

[00:45:10]

No.

[00:45:10]

I can schedule a class, and we could write together. But I won't be the instructor of the class. We can have Camila could be our instructor.

[00:45:16]

I like the Grateful Dead class. My daughter, she uses the peloton. She was on it once. And an instructor who was playing grateful dead tunes. Let's do that.

[00:45:24]

Okay. Why don't we go for a run outside? Guided run. Peloton, me and you. That's something we can do together.

[00:45:28]

Okay?

[00:45:29]

Turn on the app. Me and you go outside, enjoy the summer. Call yourself a runner with Peloton at one peloton.com running.

[00:45:35]

All right.