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Too much Cody on their minds.

Cody on my mind.

I'm fucking pissed right now. I know.

I want to talk about it.

Let's talk about it.

Just totally undercut the entire video.

No, we're not going to say who won. The one that really shocked me was succession.

They all shocked me because I know them all, but I couldn't think of it.

I've never had my brain freeze. The wire has been off the air for 10 years. I would have thought all the time.

It's a classic, but it's been off.

2020, Veeep has been off the air for five years.

I might have forgot all the other ones.

Succession just finished. That's the one that's crazy.

But it's not that I...

Barry just I literally had like a-Oh, no. I've been there. Trust me. You can't think.

I know. Carlos Zambrano.

I had Barry back there, but I was like, Man, if Boardwalk Empire didn't make it, if Oz didn't make it, I wasn't going to say Barry.

I'm surprised. And Deadwood, to be honest.

Deadwood, please. We're on a break.

But you were just searching for any show. You would have said any of those if you just thought of it.

If I could just think of a name of a show, and I couldn't.

That's where it is. Like with the pitcher thing last week, I'm just like, Let me think of one that won't be a bad guess.

That's all you're going for. It's tough, man, because you think of But Tony went to the oldest show as possible.

He was like, Boardwalk Empire hasn't been on for 15 years.

Okay, but it's still a great show.

Yeah, but there's better shows.

Are we allowed to say what the subject of the game was? Or just not say who won?

It's Taylor's thing. I don't care. You can say who won.

I'll spoil everything. We can say the subject, and then we could say what we did, but not- Welcome to the mystery crate, by the way. Yeah, Welcome to the mystery crate.

I'm so fucking heated right now. I just said the F word. That's how mad I am. You don't have to mark it.

You're good.

Okay, I marked it anyways. I just haven't had a brain fart like that in a long time.

There's something that happens to your brain when you sit at that shootout showdown couch.

When Taylor turns the camera on.

When that camera turns on and the lights turn on and the microphone's in your hand, and they ask you, What are the 10 greatest Mac shows? Again, very subjective, according to Esquire.

Give me a break. But I couldn't even name a show because I had just had... You guys ever have that? Your brain just freezes. Just gone. Just blame COVID. I just didn't have Yeah, I guess I'll blame COVID. There wasn't a thought passing in between my ears. It was just like... For six minutes, there were no thoughts in my head. Yep.

Just a tumbleweed.

Do you guys sleep with a sound machine? No.

No, I've thought about it.

I feel like kids with parents... Excuse me, parents with kids do.

Well, my kid has a noise machine in the room that we put on because she likes it, but I don't sleep with it.

But when she was a baby, did you guys have a machine that would do white noise or whatever.

We still have it. Not for us, though. It's in her room.

She was always sleeping in your room?

No, it's in the kid's room. You put a noise machine in there. No, I get that.

My question is, when she was a baby growing up, did she sleep in your room?

Very rarely. Okay. Not as much. Some people have big problems with that. Yeah. No, we were lucky with that.

Billy, as a father, as the only other father here-Have your kids infiltrated your bed?

Yes, they have.

Do you sleep with a sound machine?

I don't know. We have one in my daughter's room, though.

What's the sound of choice Just white noise.

I like brown noise. Brown noise is nice. Brown noise is nice. Brown noise is nice.

Brown noise is like in South Park?

What does it sound like?

That's a shit joke. I like that. Hold on. Yeah, brown noise is white noise, but a little deeper, more like bassy, I feel.

Yeah, hold on. I'm going to search for it right now.

I used to fall asleep to lofi music.

Okay, here's brown noise. Hold on.

Awesome. If you play...

God, you sleep in this?

That sounds like rain. Yeah, I do the rain sounds.

If you play a fart noise, I'll applaud you.

I used to do like Rivers.

That is not relaxing.

I'm going to play white noise now so you guys can get the difference. I think it's the difference in pitch.

I did not like that.

Race talk on this week.

I do like Rain or Thunderstorms. I love Thunderstorms.

Thunderstorms is a big one for me, too, for a while.

I love Thunderstorms.

I like thunderstorms. I like waves, too.

We're headed into that time of the year where you don't need the sound machine. That is so jarring.

Yeah, it's just raining.

That's true. The rain actually has woken me up because it's been louder than my sound machine. Also, one other thing, we talked I was thinking about this a few years ago, how there's no good sounds on the Apple alarm. Well, they added a bird song thing. You can wake up to birds chirping. Except last weekend, I was at a wedding, and I was in a place where there were actual birds chirping. At 4:00 AM, it woke me up because my brain is now wired to wake up to bird sounds. So backfired. It just laid there. It was peaceful, though.

I have cricket sounds. Cricket? Yeah. It's probably counterproductive.

Cicadas. Right. Haven't seen a single cicada this year.

We don't do those here.

The videos are terrifying, though.

Lucy, you feel like you're missing out, right? No.

What are you guys missing? I don't get what the longing is for.

I don't feel like I'm missing at all. I want to be as far away from wherever that happening as possible because I saw a girl on TikTok who was sobbing in her car. I was like, What is... Oh my God, quit crying. Get over it. Then I saw another TikTok, four down, of an entire just like... Four down? Four videos down. I know.

That's an odd detail there.

Well, I I think it was important because it added some perspective. It did. I hated the girl at first because I said, Don't film yourself crying on the internet. Then I saw this wall that was just covered in cicadas, and it was the most disgusting, scary thing I've ever seen. I said, You know what? I would cry about that. Then I said, I got to go back and like her video, give her some support, some monetary.

You got to pay for me. Was she crying because of the cicadas or was she crying because of something else?

She was in her car, and she needed to walk from her car to her apartment, but there were so many cicadas out that they were flooding the doorway and all outside her car on the ground so that she was like, I can't walk because there are too many bugs. And I said, Girl, get over it. It can't be that bad. And then I saw some evidence that, Oh my God, I am so sorry.

It is that bad. Can we see what these things look like? Because I'm not at 100%.

They're huge. Lucy, do you remember 17 years ago? Are they grasshoppers? No.

I was not alive 17 years ago. They're cicadas.

But what is that? What's a cicada, Billy?

They're giant bugs, and they shed their skin.

But what bug? Give me a family member. I don't know what genus they're in. I'm sorry.

I feel like it's the Northern palmetto bug. No. Have you ever had a palmetto bug down here?

The Northern palmetto bug is just a cockroach, I think.

Well, the cockroach is down here, too. Yes. Trust me. I feel like it's a hybrid between a moth and a grasshopper.

It looks like a... Think When you think about a normal fly that we see, not a mosquito. Think of a fly, but on steroids, crazy steroids.

But they're huge.

It's big. And they sworn. So you'll walk past a tree trunk, and there will be so many cicadas on it. It's like, Oh, is that tree moving? Then you're like, Oh, my God. I just sounded so Midwestern when I said that. Oh, my God. The cicadas. Jessica. Holy crap. Did you see those cicadas? But they're really-So you miss these animals? I do. I miss them. They also make a noise. I just feel like I don't miss them, but I feel like I'm left out of the cicada stuff. Everyone's talking about cicadas. All my family's talking about cicadas. All my friends are talking about cicadas. And we're just down here in Florida getting rain dumped on us, floods, hurricanes, hurricanes.

To be honest, it hadn't rained in a long time.

Yeah, we were having drought conditions.

Yeah, I felt like we had been really lucky with the rain since December.

And now everything's underwater again, and there's no cicadas.

It's just a front. It's going to pass, and then we'll get back to-Well, my brother is an amateur meteorologist.

Really? Meteorologist? Oh, he loves it. Wait, Gino? Yeah, this guy pinches his nipples to Doppler radar. I would argue. I love Doppler radar. We're in the middle of doing the show.

Is there a more annoying person, though, than that friend that is telling you what the weather is going to be. I hate that guy. I'm the worst.

We're going to pull the cicada video in a second so you guys can see what they actually look.

There's definitely a lot of moisture in the air.

Oh, there they are. Those are just cicadas. It looks like leaves on the ground, but they're just cicadas.

On the ground and on the walls, literally everywhere.

Oh, man. But yeah, 16 years ago or 17 years ago, I keep forgetting which. I vividly remember walking around. I was maybe 14 or 15. I remember walking around seeing the cicadas everywhere, and they're like, This is the last time they'll be back for 16 years. It was a whole thing. Where did they go? They go underground. And then they hibernate for 16 years. They spawn, and then they bury them under the ground. Then everyone was selling novelty data soaps and stuff. It was a whole thing.

There was a whole- So these bugs- Dan Lebitard, there was an economy created around cicadas.

I've asked Ron before if animals take vacations, and they don't.

My dog is on perpetual vacation.

Well, I doubt the truth.

What is Gino being an amateur meteorologist?

Oh, no. We were just sitting back there doing the show. We were talking about the rain because the parking garage we have to park in now gets very flooded. Does it? Yeah. When we were parking there yesterday, the water was coming up. It was flooding. Then when I got there today, there was still a lot of water. I'm like, If it rains the same as it did yesterday, is my car going to be in danger? Then Gino goes out of his way to show me the National Hurricane Center radar and like, Oh, we're getting tropical storm. He was very excited about it. But is he wrong?

What does that do with the crash?

No, he's right. Well, because that's how he brought up the storms. Did you miss that part? Were you paying attention?

No, the point is, he's trying to make you feel better about your car, but then he pulls up a tropical storm.

He just likes to brag about storms and when they're coming. He loves Feeder Bands. That's the worst. That's his thing. He loves Feeder Bands. He loves a good feeter band. Terminology. I don't know.

Me and Gino need to... He was the only person that brought an umbrella to work.

I have an umbrella.

I have an umbrella. Yesterday, no one brought an umbrella. Everyone walked in.

I was at home. Billy came in in a full wetsuit.

I'm wet. Danny Vanitas, yesterday, two umbrellas. What? Yeah, he gave me one. He saved me.

That's our guy. I have a tiny umbrella. That's a small one. That black bag right there is mine. Reach into the pocket and pull out the umbrella. It's supposed to take... It's bad luck. Don't open it. No, I didn't say open it. Just to pull it out. The other pocket.

Hold on.

Oh, there you go. That is my umbrella.

You are too large of a man for that umbrella. There's no way that umbrella covers you. That's bad luck.

Open that up, Billy. Billy doesn't believe in bad luck.

Yeah, open that up. Make my own look.

Yeah, Billy is the bad luck.

How do you do Someone get a mirror for us.

What is this? Let's bring a mirror. There you go.

Keep pushing. There you go. There's a Tony.

This can not protect you from anything.

There's no way that covers Tony.

I didn't buy it.

This can't protect you from anything.

I know.

There's no way that covers Tony.

I know. I didn't buy that umbrella.

How do you even close this?

My wife bought it for me because she's like, You should have one in your pocket of your book bag. This is a joke.

It's not that small. This looks like a prop umbrella from a play.

It's like a normal umbrella. It's fine to you.

It's a one person umbrella. Now, think about 6'3 Tony with that. You know what I I love a golf umbrella.

Oh, yeah.

So I had a golf umbrella.

Why isn't every umbrella a golf umbrella?

You guys remember the day that there was that tropical storm in December that nobody told us about? There were 60 miles an hour winds down here? Yes. Okay, so that day- The one where we worked from home during, right?

Or no? I don't know.

I think we were here because I was here. I was filming a Tony tonight, I think that day. So we get here, and then there's 75 mile-an-hour winds going through. Fifth Avenue right here, heading to the port, is a very windy street. I don't know how to explain Even on a regular day, there's just a lot of wind. That day was magnified by five.

Because there's buildings, and it has to go somewhere, so it goes in between and makes a wind tunnel.

They constructed Miami so that when it drizzles, there is flooding. Yeah.

I had a golf umbrella, but the thing is, I was taking the train that day. Again, torrential downpour, whatever. There was a homeless lady, and I gave her my umbrella.

As opposed to that lady, it didn't help up when she fell.

I tried to learn from my material.

Is this story, just so you could say, you gave someone an umbrella?

No, the story is I had a golf umbrella. I gave it to her so that now I have that umbrella. It doesn't protect me from anything. I might as well just get wet.

Umbrella's here are tricky, though, because if that wind's blowing, it's more of a detriment.

If the wind is blowing with that umbrella, I'm going to let it go.

It's in the bay.

How do you guys handle when you have an umbrella going, it's pouring on you and you're approaching your car, so it's time to open the car door. That's tough. Get in. It's this move of now I got to close the umbrella. You close it. Are you throwing it? I usually go passenger seat floor with the umbrella. I just want to get everything wet. That's like the dry because it's wet. The outside of it's wet. You're getting in your car. I know.

I put it on the side. Where my clothes-Right against the door? Right against the door.

You just got to accept it's going to be water in the car. There's no way you're going to get away from it.

Cars are made to have water.

Yeah, it's not.

I don't know about that. For a rain, I'm not saying jumping into a canal with a car, but I'm saying for rain, it's built to have that.

Sustainable.

Built for tough.

Like a rock.

Like a rock. I raincoated it yesterday. How did that go? He had rain boots. Oh, it was great. I had boots in my trunk that I forgot were in there. I bought them years ago.

Do you still have your dog's boots?

No. Your dog has boots? Yes, I do. But it was a mess. They hated it, didn't they? Yeah, they didn't like it.

Dopey did not like the boots. Willow wears a raincoat when it's raining.

Dopey was walking like a baby to wrap just learning, lifting his leg really high. He couldn't figure out how to do it. He's doing the shake on the way down. Got no traction. I was like, I can't put these boots on this dog I have a question for you.

What? Do you think Willow has any idea how good she has it?

I don't think any dog goes. That's a good question.

It's like kids, though.

I feel like dogs and kids are in the same boat. Some kids, they don't know.

I will tell you this. I had friends come last week on Friday to visit the studio, and they were asking where Willow was. They were like, Say, we were expecting a dog today.

There was no dog. Willow's babysitter is Hilde's sister, and she makes Willow like homemade dinner every night. When Willow comes back from vacation-What do you mean a homemade dinner? She makes dinner for the dog.

Me too. Kibble. This is when you're at Alpo.

When we're out of town- I thought you had a daily babysitter every day. No. She's doing this professionally now. If anyone needs a pet sitter, DM me on Instagram because I got the plug. She makes Willow dinner, very nice dinner. Then I think now when we come back from a trip- Like a chicken?

Like a salmon? What does she make?

She'll roast carrots and bone broth.

Willow is disappointed when you're back? Yeah. Willow knows crappier dinner.

She's Super sad when we pick her up from the pet sitter.

Back to the dry shit.

I would think Lee would throw it down for-For Willow? Yeah.

Have you seen grocery prices, buddy?

Yeah. We'll give her some extra chicken and stuff, but we're not making her dinner every night.

Now I don't know that we're bringing up expensive food. I'm going to ask you guys because you might have seen it on TikTok. I don't know what these guys had. What's up with Erwan? And why is it so expensive? Okay, whatever it is.

That's a Lucy question. She's an LA girly. What is up with that shit?

So are you guys familiar with what Erwan is? I am not.

$40 bags of ice.

It is a luxury grocery store based in Los Angeles. It's really not that much more quality than a Whole Foods, but it is an insane price jump. I saw somebody, a TikTok the other day, and it was just a tub of berries for $60. And they're not very special berries. They're just regular, normal strawberry, raspberry, blackberry, little mix there. Everything is wildly expensive, and it brands itself as very healthy. And they became really famous because they have a smoothie bar there, and Haley Bieber did a smoothie with them. So people will go to Erwan, spend $25 on a smoothie. And if you want to get a little snack for the road, it's like another $20. It's the most expensive grocery store in the world, I believe.

It's a sci-up is what it is. It's like, how much can we put up? I saw that there. Where people will go and buy shit that you can buy for $0.45 for $0.45..

I didn't know what this was yesterday, or the other day. The other day, yeah. Definitely not yesterday. Yesterday, you're right. During an interview on the show this week, we were talking to Christopher Mince-Place, and he held up a drink that he was drinking, and Dan accused him of drinking out of a pickle jar. And now that I'm on the site, it was from this grocery store. I recognize this logo from that interview.

What was it that he was drinking?

I don't know. It looks like a bunch of rain shit inside the jar.

It was like an ice coffee. He had an ice coffee-looking drink.

You two guys, take a guess here. I guess they're called Bushels. Of organic green grapes, how much do you think it cost? At Erwan? At Erwan.

How many pounds, though? 699. Hold on. How many pounds?

This one looks like it's three and a half. Guess low.

Three and a half pounds.

You got to guess price per pound.

I would say it's probably-7,99. It's probably Are you doing per pound or the whole bushel?

Well, do you normally do groceries? Yeah. Do you know how much things cost? That's really the question.

Generally, grapes, I can't say.

The grapes at Erwan have to be $45.

799 a pound.

Oh, nice. No, but the- But no, But the bushel I'm looking at is $28.

No, but I usually buy that pack of grapes that's not even by weight. It's just this pack of grapes is this much.

You can get a peanut butter protein smoothie in a little jar thing. It looks like 20 ounces. It's $13.

These just sound like normal high grocery prices. No, it's crazy. It doesn't sound like earth-shattering.

No, it's really like... I lived in Brentwood, so I lived in the Ridgewood Association.

Wood, LeBron, OJ. Oj?

Oj.

Oj is a word association.

Every single time I'd be like, I live in Brentwood, and they'd look because they knew they knew it was somewhere. I'd be like, OJ.

Did you ever drive by the place?

Everyone has to, right? I think we drove past it once. They demolished it, didn't they? Or where it was. It was nice because it was a great neighborhood to walk around in because there were a lot of famous houses. I lived half a mile from where Marilyn Monroe live. So I walked to her house. And also I had a really... My favorite thing to do on the weekends. I would just go for a little walk around the neighborhood, and then I just walk into all the open houses for sale. I would just go check these $15 million mansions every Saturday.

Lucy, question for you. Obviously, living in Brentwood, where did you live? You lived in a million dollar house?

I had a rent control department in Brentwood. It was a perfect apartment in the world. I was so sad I had to leave. So it was a dingy old apartment in just a crazy nice area, and it was the best deal possible. It was twice the size of what I have now in Miami for half the price. It was perfect. How'd you get it? Honestly, just luck. So I had two roommates when I first moved to LA, and they were nice, but boundaries were an issue. So I said, Okay, this might not be the best fit for me. And I applied for this apartment, and I didn't get it. And then the lady who helped me with that application reached out and was like, Hey, I know you didn't get this apartment, but there's another one that's about to open up. Do you want to see it? And I was like, Sure. I was the first person to see it, and I was like, Please give me this apartment. And it was so awesome. It was perfect. I could walk everywhere. I used to walk to Michael's, and I get to walk to my friend's house.

I would walk- Michael's being the store?

Yeah, the- Not a friend of Michael. The craft store.

I think most people assume that they weren't thinking Michael's house. No, because she said a friend after- My friend, Mac and Nolan, lived down the street, so I could go walk and see Mac and Nolan, and that was really nice.

And then go to Michael's. And then I would go to Michael's. It was the perfect apartment, but it was really ritzy, and I used to see celebrities all the time in the little shopping center, which that was cool.

Wow, you were right, Billy.

Why don't you just sublet it? Could you do that? That's against the rules. If you don't want to give it up. Yeah, but who cares? You pay the rent, and then you charge someone else the rent to stay in the same place. But double it so you pay for it and then also fuck a little cash.

That's the business, right?

Tony gets it. How much do you guys think the cocktail how much the ice balls are at Erwan?

Like circular?

Yeah, you get an eight-count.

Eight-count? I'd probably say two bucks a sphere, 16 bucks.

16 bucks? Ten bucks. Ten bucks? It's $30 for eight iceballs. That's That's expensive. That's fucking crazy.

That's the first one where I'm like, well.

But it's ice balls with a Z. I guess that makes it worth it.

Lucy mentioned all the stars living in Brentwood. I love a good star tour in LA. We did it, remember? We did one. We were supposed to make content of it. I mean, that was tough. You've done one in Miami? Yeah.

When I moved in, my dad and brother were here, and I was like, What do you guys want to do? And my dad was like, We're going to go on a celebrity boat tour. A boat?

Which one did you go on? The Star Island one?

I don't know.

Did you see DJ Khaled's place?

We saw all their places last night. Which one?

I think I've been on that one.

My dad is convinced that he saw Ben Affleck on a boat. I said, That was just a man. He said, But they said, That was JLo's house. I said, Well, that's a good point. But I know he's not living there anymore. Sorry.

I pulled out of... When I was in LA with my parents, probably when I was 16, we went on a star tour and we saw Kevin Costner pulling out of his house. It was like, we stopped. How was that? There was seven vans around because they must have been like, Kevin's on the move.

So it was just like a car. It was just Kevin.

It was just I'm pulling out. And then I was just being like, Oh, look, there's costner. It was great.

Adam Sandler was the most famous person I saw, and he was just like- Basketball shorts?

Yeah, basketball shorts, just eating- Oversize polo.

And then I saw Kate Hudson getting coffee once. And my sister is named after Kate Hudson, so I said, Oh, I should go tell her. And I said, My sister's named after her, not me.

That doesn't- Hey, my sister's named after you. Yeah. Okay.

Okay. Yeah. Are you named after anyone? No. I'm named after no one. My sister's named after Kate Hudson. And then my... I don't know who Jack's named after. Pick.

Jack Sparrow.

Jack Sparrow, yeah. Jack Nicholson.

Yeah. Any Jack.

Jack Skellington.

Jack Black. Yeah.

The first celebrity I saw was so embarrassing. I was like, This is the worst celebrity to see. It just was such a lame one that I was like... I was on the beach and I was set up, and then Neef from Catfish set up right next to me. I said, That's a lame first one.

Is that the main guy from Catfish?

I don't know his name. Who was like, he- I know who she's talking about. He Yeah, he harassed women. Tan-looking guy? Yeah. He ended up posting something about how you shouldn't harass women in an elevator. Then it came out that he harassed women in an elevator. You're like, Who would have thought that would have happened? The worst.

Who's the most famous person you guys have been around? Not interacting with, but just being in proximity to. Let's say within 10 feet of.

Are you going to do your heat player?

No. What's my heat player?

The one that's in this building. Cole swider? Oh, no.

No. Today? Should I tell this story?

I was trying to be a little vague.

Billy was almost in an elevator.

Almost in an elevator today.

He's the 15th guy on the heat roster, for those of you who know.

If you're being generous.

He puts in work every day. He's working out at that arena.

We always see him walk into the arena. Always working out. Just him in a water bottle.

I once was in an elevator with Stone Cold Steve Austin in New York with my family. That's the best one I have in terms of just stumbling upon a celebrity.

I went to the ESPYs, and I was a seat filler. I ended up getting to sit in the front row. I sitting next to crazy famous people. Oh, my God. It was 2019, and Yannis won male athlete of the year. So he stands up, and you can see me pop up because I was sitting right in front of him. I'm so curious about that.

Seat fillers? Is that a thing where there's a room full of you? And it's like, We need six.

So basically, the way it works is when I moved to LA, I was just living out there for an internship at the time. So I was still in college. There was an Iowa grad named Isaiah Scales, who's an awesome person, deserves to shout out, who lived there. And he was like, Hey, we have an extra seat filler spot for the S&OPs. Do you want to come with? I was like, Absolutely. So the day before, I said, Oh, my God, I don't know what I'm going to wear. So I said, I have to go spend a lot of money because I want people to think I'm an athlete girlfriend. If I'm an athlete girlfriend, they're going to give me a good seat because I wanted to be close up. I wanted to be in the front. I wanted to see all the famous people. So basically, you show up early and everybody's dressed up. Some people are like, Girl, you look too casual. They're going to put you in the back.

Jean Jack It just ain't working.

Yeah, I'm like, We're not doing a romper look, all right? We're at the Espeies. So I have this beautiful ball gown on.

Wait, let's see. There's playing. Oh, there's Lucifer. Oh, my God.

My hair was blonde. Tough times. You used to be blonde? Yeah, it was a really bad face.

Wow. He whipped that hair around.

Look at that. That's awesome. Why didn't you dab them up?

It felt weird. The guy next to me tried to do it, and I was like, Absolutely not.

Look at you just there.

You played the part. You just looked like someone was supposed to be there.

And the cool thing is I had my big time moment. I didn't tell anybody I was going. So then-They were like, Is that you on screen? All of a sudden everyone was like, Is that Lucy at the ESP?

I thought she just had an internship in LA, and now she's-Who's the guy next to you?

Is he also-He was another seat filler who did not know how to behave himself. So they had rules, specifically. So you would go, and they would put you in a random seat, and they'd like, Don't ask for autogravs. Don't take pictures. Don't have your phone out. Just stand and clap. Just be chill. So I started off sitting next to the Texas A&M football team. And then as people leave the event or go and take their award, they need to fill those seats for when the crowd pans over. So I started off there, and you wear a wristband. So then there are people who direct the aisle. So they were like, Okay, you go here. So then I moved, and I was sitting right behind Dwight Howard, and that sucked because I couldn't see one thing. He was so tall. And then finally, it was my final time switching, and this girl came up, and I looked nice. I knew that's why she picked me because I dressed up. I knew how to play the part. And she said, Jared Goff just left. Go take his seat. And he was sitting in front row.

And now, of the three-hour what show it was, how long do you actually end up being out there sitting in seats?

So the entirety of the show. I was there the whole time. I was in the front row for probably the last hour and a half.

That's good, though.

It was so fun.

Do you know who's seat you filled? Jerry Goff. My bad. I thought that was a different seat. She said that.

I can't remember who. Then Rob Gronkowski was right next to me on the aisle.

You show up in the most random places. You're on a random website for the Big Ten Championship or something.

What was it? Oh, yeah, that's embarrassing.

When she was 17 or something like that.

It was me and my little sister 10 years ago. But yeah, the Aspies are cool. If you have the chance to do seat filler, there's a website that you can sign up for.

I can get you into the Latin Grammys of the seat filler. Really? Yeah, because I know- Just me? Yeah.

Chris, there would be funny.

Chris, you could pass for like... I know. There are some redhead hispanics.

Canelo. Canelo. Canelo is a Mexican.

You can be Canelo.

Now keep going.

Right.

Are there more? There's one other guy I'm not going to say. We'll be right back. Guys, it's time for You Betcha. You Betcha. Which is sponsored by DraftKings. Stay tuned because we hear more about DraftKings and all it has to offer throughout the show, DraftKings. The Crown is yours. All right.

So we're taking Messi to show up to the stadium. No.

What am I going to learn about DraftKings the rest of the show? Draftkings.

I don't know. Maybe how to pronounce their name right.

Pay attention.

So the Copa America is about to start, which means that Messi and Luis Suarez are not with Inter Miami. And if you watch any Inter Miami this year, they're God awful when he doesn't play. So this weekend, we're going to take the Philadelphia Union who are hosting Inter Miami in Philadelphia, and we're going to take both teams to score, which we always do, which gives you a nice plus 180 Five.

Against Inter Miami.

Yeah, there's no Messi, there's no Suarez. I think 80 % of their goals come from those two guys. And that's been You Betcha. And now, since we already visited the TikTok realm once this episode, I found this guy's page, and I'm absolutely he obsessed with. Is it Jasper? No, it's not Jasper. It's a guy who's-I haven't thought about it since that point, and I just thought about it. Tony was really upset about the whole thing.

My sister is changing her voicemail to a recording of Jasper. I love it. Saying, Leave a message. Somebody sent me a comment from YouTube.

One of my friends sent me a comment from YouTube saying that that doll has done more things than Tony's ever done in his life or something like that. It just made me laugh.

Look, I'm not trying to discredit you, but she is very accomplished.

She's hot right now. But I found this other account where it's basically a guy that people hire to call people and give them bad news. It's called John Breaks Bad News. So of course, I was on this page all afternoon looking for the best one, and I found a pretty good one. We're going to play it now.

Hi, Eve. This is John from John Breaks Bad News. I have some bad news from Brooklyn for you. From who? From Brooklyn.

Brooklyn who?

She didn't It looks like Berglund. Okay. Okay. She boned your dad back in '08. All the time she joked about it, it actually happened. She had a couple of drinky poos and lost her moral compass and ended up sleeping with him because she still thinks about him gardening. She was always attracted to his particular attention to the plants.

She knows them so well.

Sorry, bud. That your dad got boned by your friend. Thank you.

Thank you for your call.

I was super polite on this call. Do you mind leaving me a review on my Facebook page? I don't have Facebook. You don't have Facebook? Well, what about my Instagram?

Can you- Yeah.

It's John Breaks Bad News. J-o-n Breaks Bad News.

J-o-n, Breaks Bad News. Got it. I will. All right. I love you. You were great. Wow. Love you, too.

See, he gets it.

She got it. You got to give it back.

What a fucking bitch.

I spent hours on that guy's account looking at that.

It's that all it takes is that one idea to be really good, which is, Hey, let me call people and tell them bad news from other people for money.

Apparently, people are hiring him to do this. Yeah.

I mean, this is cameo's thing. This has been a cameo.

Yeah, but not exclusively bad news.

We need to think of something like that.

He must get 10 break up with my girlfriends a day. Because break up my significant other, I don't have to do it.

You still got to do it, though.

Well, you got to deal with it.

She boned your dad. It's just great.

It's like the family guy bit where she's like, Oh, your dad's such a nerd. Have you guys seen that? I'm not going to go through the whole thing.

Does that have to do with her boning the dad? Yeah.

I feel like everyone had one of those stories in their high school, right? Like a kid. You guys didn't have anyone in your high school that hooked up with a parent of someone else in high school? No.

Not a parent.

We had some teachers.

Senior year. I'm hoping senior year. I had a friend who she told me that when she was a senior, that she had a substitute teacher who was really flirty. Then after she graduated, a month or two after, she hit him up on Facebook and they hooked up. After she graduated.

I thought it was more common. I know a couple of examples.

It probably is. I don't hear about it.

Did you go to the euphoria high school?

No, I just went to a public school? I don't know. I know. There's a lot of things. There's a lot of '80s movie plots. I'm not going to talk about, but I know.

Yeah. Okay, I got another thing. Chris was going through a ramen phase.

I'm absolutely bleeding the fifth.

Sorry, guys. I'll tell you all the drama from mine.

Chris went through a ramen phase. I think he's still in it. Yeah, still in it. There's a specific ramen that got banned in Denmark for being too spicy. Tell us in a throw up the picture.

I'm not a big hot, spicy guy.

Well, it It looks like there was a group.

I'm already not a fan of this.

There was a group of YouTube videos that were coming out, and they were showing people eating this, and they were dying. And basically, Denmark, it's funny because the name of the place that handles the health is the Veteranian and Health Food Systems for Denmark. I didn't know those two things went together.

How about this, guys? How about you guys worry about the dogs and the cats? Leave the ramen up to me. Don't try to ban ramen, okay? That would never happen in the United States of America. Jack.

What would never happen?

Banning food because it's too spicy? Never. Not on my watch. Not on this country's watch, buddy. Since 1776. Yeah, vote, Tony.

You're not in a position to be banning. You're not banning.

You're not the watchdog over this. Neither is the veterinary health systems of Denmark.

Yeah, it says the Danish Veterinary and Food Administration. Please. If you have the products, you should discard them or return them to the store they were purchased. Yeah, okay.

Try to tell somebody in America to go return some Hot Cheetos.

Couldn't even get them to wear a mask to Starbucks. Chris, are you the ramen phase?

How much of a phase is it?

Well, I don't really do it. I don't make it myself at home. That's a make your own ramen thing. I'm into I order out or go to a spot. I love ramen as, what do you want for dinner tonight? Ramen is a big choice for me.

When we went to Vegas a couple of weeks ago, Mike sent me a ramen place that was-Was that the place we were supposed to go to?

Yeah, that we never went to.

I didn't realize how far the circle was. No, I didn't go either. It was So we didn't have a car. And Vegas, obviously, had never been to the strip. We had been to Fremont Street. That was my first time in Vegas. But when you talk about how far things are on the strip, you don't realize. It's a mile away, but it's like 400 blocks.

All right. You're like, Oh, I'm at the MGM Grand. The hotel right next to me is this hotel. But try walking there.

It's like two miles. It's a thousand degrees.

What is this? It's like 500 feet that you got to walk a mile.

There's only a few spots on the strip where you can get to a bunch of hotels on a little walk, around the Mirage.

If you're staying at the Paris Hotel? That's where I was staying. That's a pretty good central location.

That's actually a good one for walking.

If you're at the MGM and you're in the back of it, you're- You look across the street, you're like, Oh, $3 blackjack at Hooters Hotel.

Is that Hooters Hotel still a thing? I remember staying at the MGM Grand years ago and looking across at the Hooters Hotel as $3 blackjack.

There's no way the Hooters Hotel still in existence. Let's find out.

We have Google.

But it's right across the street, but it was a long ass walk to get there.

Because obviously, I went for a conference with my wife, so she was at the conference And I was like, You know what? Let me just take a little stroll around town. Just hanging out, just a little stro, just walking around, just doing my thing.

Guys, I'm sad to report it is no longer the Hooters Hotel and Casino. It is now the Oyo, O-Y-O Hotel and Casino. Oyo? Yeah, damn. Classic. Rest in peace.

There's a lot of sad casinos in Vegas.

But I thought, when we were there, we were walking to that place where Mike was doing the DJ thing. We passed that thing. I think it was called the Diamond Blue or something together, and it had dollar blackjack tables. I was like, damn, me and Chris hit that up. And then I'm like, it'll probably be so sad. It's so sad. It's smoky in there.

Chris Cody filmed inside the Blue Durango playing $1 Blackjack broke ass. You're like, what?

I really wish there was a casino like in Vegas Vacation, where it's just war. Which hand is it in?

I think the statute of limitation is over because we already did it.

But remember, we were trying to do-We were going to do our version of that. We were going I would do a casino, like Levitar show Casino at the Circa.

Where fans could come and we would all have a table of like, All right, my game is guess the number I'm thinking of.

That would have been a good bid. My lasting memory was me and you sitting down on the last day to play $50 a hand in Blackjack and just getting destroyed.

Yeah, with Bill and Carl, right? Yeah. It was all like, you're a big tough guy.

I didn't want to add them. I don't want to put a bit. But I just remember we sat down, I never got back up from a table so fast. He destroyed us.

I'm very proud to be part of Billy's most human moment of all time.

Mine?

Wait, what does that mean? At the roulette table.

My most human moment ever. You've never been more alive than that moment right there.

Oh.

That ball spinning on that roulette table. Us looking for black. No. We put a hundred bucks on black. Did he hit it? No.

No.

The way you said alive, he was happy.

Yeah, but he was alive. No, he was alive in the sense of like...

I saw them walk over there and I was like, Okay, Billy's going to put some money in.

We were playing craps. No. I mean, we've told this story a thousand times already. But Mike Fuentes the entire week was talking a big game, saying, I'm going to put my per diem at the end of this trip all on one spin of the roulette. I'm either going to make, I'm either going to double it or it was free because it was my IDM. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. He was talking a big game in the interview. You're going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it.

We were about to leave the trip. Still hadn't done it.

I just forgot.

Forgot. That's not true. That's a lie because we asked you about it and you didn't do it.

I forgot. I just remember that you and Tony went to go do the roulette Well, because I took out money and I have $200.

That's all I'm going to get. Well, the entire week, right? And I didn't do any of it when I was in Vegas because we were busy going back and forth. You were working. Yeah, we were doing things the entire time. So that last day, for whatever reason, just because it's bad flights back to Miami, we had 12 hours of nothing to do.We.

Had to take the right eye, and they kicked us out of the hotel room, too.

Yeah.

They had a casino or nothing.

Had nothing to do. I wanted to go back down to strip and just look around and see what was going on there because I didn't get to see any of it while we were there, but no one wanted to go with me. So I was just like-Was that your first time in Vegas? Yeah. So I was just stuck in the casino. I love the casino. But I was in the casino for 13 straight hours before we had to go to the airport. And I lost $100 instantly playing roulette, very quickly. And I'm like, Yeah, no, I'm not going to continue to do this. I'm not going to lose $200. But then again, I was in the casino for 12 straight hours just watching Mike Fuente's play. And then I convinced Rose or someone to, let's just go walking down-Freeman. You know, freeman and do something. But it was freezing and all our jackets were in our carry on. So I didn't have the proper attire. So we went back in. And then on the way out, I'm like, You know what? I have $100 left. I'm going to put it all on. I was betting red, I think, and I got washed out really quick.

And then we got the exact same table after I was gone, you look at the screen and it was like 12 straight reds, one black. When I was at that table, no lie, there were six greens, which is crazy. It's impossible. It was impossible.

I just remember I was playing crafts, I think, with Cody at that time. I remember seeing you and Billy walk over there. I'm like, Okay, Billy's putting money down.

Well, no, because we saw all that. I had this $100 burning a hole in my pocket, and I said, I'm going to just break even and I'm going to be good. Win or lose, that was it. There were so many reds on the board. I'm Okay, the reds are coming up now. I'm just going to put it all on red. And naturally, it was black, and I lost immediately. And then the... I don't even know the person. What is the title? The dealer? The dealer, yeah. Gave me a pouty face, sad and pitting me and like, Oh, I feel so...

But I just remember you and Tony walked over there. I turned to Chris. I rolled once. I turned around. I couldn't find you. I looked to my left. You're standing next to me. I was like, Oh, that was fast.

It's very quick.

I remember seeing Greg smacking He smashed up at that roulette table.

Talk it to a fan.

Yeah, talk it to a fan.

I thought he was a stranger.

I thought he was a stranger, and he played it off super cool because he was just playing. Hey, good to have you guys. All of a sudden, he starts mentioning show things. And then Greg is there. Greg's having the time of his life drinking. Yeah, Greg was pounding the roulette table.

Pounding a lot of things.

Greg at the Company Mixer was downing some brown.

I had to go into parent mode of him. At one point, I wanted to go somewhere to walk away. I'm just like, Roy, watch him. I had to put someone in charge of my dad.

The wrong guy to put in charge, by the way.

Is that the time that you've had to do that that's been the worst? No.

Top five, maybe. Well, that was just because it's a setting where normally I won't worry about him if it's around my friends or my family. But in a work setting, I'm just like, Oh, I have to-This is getting a little bit too much. Not embarrass myself here.

Everybody has that one moment with their parents where they're not caretakers anymore, right? Now, they're your friends. I'm sure you've had a bunch with your dad. I remember one of the ones when my dad was living in Colorado, he moved there specifically for one thing. And I went downstairs. Hiking. The Rockies. Yeah, he's a big hike guy. Big enthusiast. All the sunshine. Yeah, that, too. A ton of sunshine. Fresh air, a lot of nature. Definitely not the weed. No, not at all. Who said that? Your dad moved to Colorado just to smoke weed. No, he had a problem with his legs. It was a different time, Billy. Yeah, but he wanted He picked Colorado for a reason.

How are the legs now?

Well, he's no longer with us.

He's no longer with us.

Carry on. So he moved to Colorado. The hiking in the sunshine.

And my brother was there with us, and I think it was, I don't know. It was-Your brother Chris. My brother Christopher, yes. And we're there. And my dad's like, Hey, boys, come downstairs. I'm like, All right. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'll see you in a minute.

How old are you?

Mid 20s, I want to say. So all of a sudden, I go outside and And I go downstairs, and I don't see my brother, I don't see my dad. Familiar smell makes its way into the thing.

What age did you start picking up on that spell?

Middle school. Doing a little research.

When I was a kid-We had a real inquisitive six-year-old.

I remember that smell when I was a little kid, and I'm like, Oh, it smells so funny. Then that first middle school party I went to, and all of a sudden, click.

That's definitely going to happen.

Yeah, it all came together. Wait a minute. So I remember going outside and there's my brother and my dad just hitting a joint together. I was like, this is the moment where dad's a friend now, no longer a caretaker. And then you turn into the caretaker of your parents. In a normal run, yes. At some point, yeah.

Then the undertaker.Circle.

Of life. Are you done?

I think you've done enough.

You have done enough. You absolutely have done enough, Billy.

You didn't know that or you were going for a really morbid joke? No, there's no way.

There's no way. I didn't know.

I'm sorry.

But how do you not know?

We've talked about it before. Mike has talked about it a lot.

That's why I wanted to-I don't listen.

Finally, the truth.

We're still here. Anyways, famous people. Does anyone have a better story? No one's going to beat Lucy's story, so it's like, what's the point? What was the story again?

When I went to the ESP.

We're talking more random life. At the ESP, you're going to see-You're going to run a celebrity. We've done nothing as cool as that, but I don't know if that's what we're talking right here.

I still don't think you can be Adam Sandler at a social restaurant.

I drove Adam Schefter to the DoubleTree in Bristol.

I drove Bill Simmons from a hotel to our studio.

I peed next to Steven A. Smith at the Urinal.

I ran into Mike Baby buying sneakers in Daily on one time.

I peed next to Ray Lewis at Highly because he owns a Highly. He wasn't right next to him. I didn't go to the stall right next to him. I went like four down. There's a lot there, by the way.

There's like 40 of them. He went all the way.

Yeah, that's like a million stalls.

He walked all the way. No one at any stall. He went all the way to the far corner.

I like doing that, too, though.

Why not the closer corner? There's a wall blocking it.

No. I like going out there where I can just be by myself. Okay.

A lot of man in his thoughts. That's right. Taking a piss.

Just in case.

I was 10 feet away from Jeff Bezos at a Super Bowl. It was like a tunnel where the celebrities were arriving, and it just happened to be cutting through. And then there he was in all his glory. Walked by quick. I was going to try to stick a microphone in front of him and interview him because I was actually recording mystery creative all things with a microphone. So I I had this microphone, and it's like, one, I don't have any complaints about my time at ESPN at all. I think that- You have great things to say, actually. I didn't end on bad terms. I don't think that I pissed that many people out, whatever, right? But I will say this. I had a microphone that was mine, and I believe that they took from me when they were cleaning up the studio, when the switch happened. It was a karaoke microphone that some-The blue one? No, this was a white one that some Fox show sent us some promotional item for a karaoke show that they had. It was the most valuable piece of equipment that we had on the time for shooting things outside of the studio.

I would plug it into my phone and it worked out great. It was the best quality microphone. It was a karaoke microphone.

Is it the one that would change voices, too?

No, I don't think so.

Because there was one that would change voices.

Well, anyway, I'm walking around and we're interviewing people in the Super Bowl at the actual game in the parking lot doing a mystery creative, us just walking around before the or whatever. It was you and Allison, right? It was me and Allison, yeah, walking around, talking to people. We're just like, What are we doing here? Why did they send us here? What is this? How do we make content out of this? Because you need credentials. Lucy knows. You need to... And what we were doing was probably not allowed in any form or fashion whatsoever. But I was very close to going up to Bezos and asking him, Who do you like in the game? And sticking this little karaoke microphone in his face. And I'm glad I didn't because I probably would have been shot.

That was the COVID Super Bowl.

Oh, yeah. That was a major Super Spreader event.

That was Kansas City, San Francisco?

Yeah, it was three weeks before the world shut down.

No, I remember because you had to do something with Old Spice and got bused to one place or another.

No, I forgot to put on deodorant that day. I was very nervous. I've never covered the Super Bowl. I forgot to put on deodorant that day, and I realized early on that I forgot to put on deodorant, but I wasn't going to pay for parking. So the hack that we had was you drive to the media, one of the media hotels, and they have shuttles that take you to the game. And I thought, well, while I'm at the hotel, I'll just look for a little shop and I'll buy deodorant there because I learned early on that I didn't have it. So I went and I bought it. It was Old Spice swagger that they had. So I was wearing Old Spice swagger deodorant, and then I tweeted about it, and then it got to Old Spice somehow, and they sent a bunch of stuff after the fact. So I got a bunch of Old Spice, like body wash, and I got Old Spice. I have an Old Spice track suit that's the windbreaker material, a jacket and pants. I have slides of Old Spice, a little Old Spice bag.

Like a toiletry bag.

Yeah, all the Old Spice stuff that they said it was the best.

Where do we rank? That's one of the worst feelings for me. I'll be out somewhere Too far to turn, and shit. How do you do? What do you do? Well, a hack- You just avoid people and no one smell me. Well, apparently, here's a hack that I've done from- We'll go and keep the arms real tight. From the fashion world, basically, if you can put a hand sanitizer under your underarm, it will help. What? I've done that. Yeah, because it's just killing bacteria. It kills the bacteria. Yeah, and that helps with the smell.

You know what I've done is if I have a jacket or a hoodie, I'll wear that and I will be sweating.

But then it's not counterintuitive?

No, because the smell is trapped inside. The smell doesn't escape. The smell is trapped inside.

It's going to be terrible. When you take it off, it's going to be terrible.

Yeah, you have to commit to it.

Guys, I moved from stick deodorant.

To spray? To spray.

What? Because I've been getting away from-What about your balls?

What about your balls? What about Because there's plastic in them, and now there's going to be-Well, the plastic in my balls, we're still trying to figure that out. No, but it starts in your underarm, it goes down your balls.

The aluminum. We shouldn't be having that stuff. I've transitioned to a deodorant that is healthy, doesn't have the parabens and the fragrances and all the bad stuff. Which one? I use Native.

Native is a scam.

Native is such a scam. Be very careful, everyone. I love Native, so.

Respectfully.

How harmful can my deodorant really be?

Native is very... It It is the more chemical-free option out of any of them. I'm sorry for calling you a scam native. I don't really mean it.

I'm happy about it. I felt a lot.

I use Native Shampoing Conditioner.

No, I'm fine with their body wash, but their deodorant, it was the big thing.

But maybe I feel like ladies and men's deodorants are a little bit different. Oh, yeah.

I use men's deodorant because I don't think that women's deodorant does. Really? Stronger, right? You think it's stronger? Yeah, I use men's. Razors, I pretty much use men's every single thing. I use Old Spice. They have a lavender. Swagger? No, not Swagger, of course.

The lavender one.

I've heard about men I've been using women's deodorant.

I've used women's deodorant before.

It's never strong enough.

It's not strong enough for me.

Strong enough for a man makes me sound gross.

But I use Native, and it was within three seconds that I was like, The way I smell is abhorrent.

Gillette has this.

It was so bad. It was just too natural that I was like, Yeah, there's chemicals coming out of here. We need to combat that with more chemicals.

Gillette has a clinically prescription one that's supposed to be really good.

Yeah, you can get a prescription, like women's secret deodorant, because my mom was always like, That's what you should do. But I just found that it was- But that one's got aluminums and a lot of shit in it. It was the same as me using Old Spice for men, and everything, all men's products are cheaper than women's products, too. They're better and they're cheaper. So any lasers, deodorant, any of that stuff, I just go buy men. And they make not feminine smelling fragrances, but they just neutral where it's like- Neutral ones, yeah.

Mine's sea spice and cedar or something, or sea salt and cedar.

I use the lavender. It's like manly lavender.

How do we feel about sharing deodorants?

Not at all.

You can share my spray.

I'm just saying-The spray is different.

In an emergency like Fuente's, if you forgot it, and I happened to have a work one here, would you use it?

I'd rather we share a stick of deodorant for a day than me smell like ass.

Oh, no.

You never know you're going to meet.

As I'm asking the question, I think I'm with Billy on this. I don't think I would want to use. Do you want to be the stinky guy? I would just go with one smelly day rather than putting someone else.

There is What's the worst going to happen?

Well, the bacteria from that person is going to be under your arms, and then you get their funky, and with your funky, it's super funky.

Different guys have hair. That changes a lot. Well, we also have hair.

I know, but you have to shave it.

Well, you don't have to shave it.

I went to visit my friend in Berkeley, and she was like, It's actually awesome. No one chairs their arm pits here. So there was no precedent. So everyone had to really hair your arm pits. And I borrowed her deodorant, and everything seemed fine. And there was a lot of hair on it? And I think we grew closer.

There was a lot of hair on the deodorant? Because I have hair on your arm pits, obviously. So when I use deodorant, that was a stick? You got a couple of hairs in there.

Yeah, hers wasn't that hairy. That hairy, okay. So it was fuzzy. It was something I noticed. I was like, This seems nice.

You have to be careful with aluminum. I had a very dramatic month and a half of my life where I switched deodorant, and it was one of those roller balls with the scent or whatever on it. Someone gave it to me for Christmas as part of a pack. I was using that because I ran out of deodorant. And then my lymph node It gets swollen. It gets swollen. It gets swollen. It gets swollen. It gets swollen. It gets swollen. It gets swollen. It gets swollen. We're all swollen, and my grandfather died of lymphoma. So I was very concerned about this. I went to the doctor. They're feeling it. They're like, Yeah, these are swollen. You need to go. They get clogged. And then I went. I had to do MRIs. I had to do all these scans where I'm-Cast scans? Yeah, exactly right. I'm strapped down on almost like a-Did you go in the tube? Yeah, inside the tube, I hate the tube. Strapped down for 45 minutes. They're doing all these tests. I was convinced that I had cancer under my arm pits. It was really-That's where I had mine. It was really, really scary.

I was convinced that that's what it was. And they're like, No, you're fine. It's just swollen from your deodorant.

And I'm like-Yeah, here's a bill for $7,000. Exactly right.

Thousands of dollars later.

But would you have rather?

No, obviously not.

You got to stay away from the antiperspirant.Humans are meant to sweat.Oh.

Yeah.i need deodorant.

You can't stop sweat. I need deodorant. I don't need antiperspirant. Yeah, no antiperspirant.

No metals. Let's stay away from metals as a human race.