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Happy Friday, everybody. It is the Dan Lebitard show with Stu Gatz. Without Dan or Stu Gatz, I'm Mike. And it is Olympic opening ceremony day. And this is actually pretty exciting because when you think about it, this is the first one of these in quite a while. For us to experience, you forget that there were athletes that worked their asses off and had an entire Olympics canceled. And for some athletes, that was their window. So When maybe think about that, it's a bit of a buzz kill when you watch today's opening ceremonies in which there was a field hockey player I saw that cut off a part of his finger. He had a part of his finger amputated because if it stayed on, it would have prevented him from playing in the Olympics. So he was just like, No, chop that off. Roni Lott style.

Do you put in a bowl of chili and then sue?

Who did that?

Some person did that.

All right. So it's the Olympic opening ceremony.

Watch mystery You'll find out more.

I have been watching mystery crate. So in my office, where I have my PS5, I've been playing like most people my age, I've been really playing CFB 25 a lot. And the default channel on that TV is DKN. So when I'm done playing the game, automatically, DraftKings Network pops up on the TV. And throughout the weekends, they re-air mystery crate a lot. And I do love the recent trend of mystery Crate existing as if Mike never listens to it. That's apparently very clear. Mystery Crate is talk about Mike as if he's never going to know what is happening on this show.

We talk about a lot of people.

Yeah, that's generally the whole idea.

We like the idea of no one listening.

No one's listening to this.

When we did play back a clip from mystery Crate one time, you did not enjoy it.

I'm not going to say that I listen every episode, but now because of CFB 25, I'm able to follow along. I saw last week's episode in which it was revealed that I spoiled the surprise baby shower.

Well, we were not blaming you for that, though.

You honestly were too hard on my point. So here's the deal for the people that didn't listen to mystery Crate. There was a surprise baby shower. The whole office was alerted to it with a text message that said in big, bold letters, surprise. So I guess I'm making excuses, but I had a lot of text, and I just basically prioritized the link. So I got a present for a friend that was having the baby shower, and that's the last I thought of it. And then it was the day of, and I remembered, Oh, I have a haircut appointment. Now, could I have canceled the haircut appointment and prioritized the baby shower? Yeah, but the baby shower was at 2:45.

Got to make it 1:00 PM.

I'm just hanging around the office for 90 minutes. I could be doing so much in that time. I could be getting a haircut, for example. So I wanted to explain to the person that, Hey, I'm not going to make this. And I was unsure as to whether or not it was a surprise. Now, this is 100 % my mistake. I could have just gone back to the text message, and I just decided to ask someone in the office, Mike Fuentes, Hey, I'm 99 % sure this isn't a surprise, but can you confirm that for me? And he's like, I'm 100 % sure. And that's fine. I asked somebody else. I thought enough to ask somebody I should have thought enough to just check the original text message or ask somebody different. But it's not Fuentes' fault, it's mine. But then there was an entire mystery crate episode dedicated to it, talking about me in ways that weren't flattering. And I just was uneasy. It was no one else's fault but mine. Big man. Big man. You got to admit that when you're wrong. So what's on mystery crate this week for the people? Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, Boom.

I got them. No, I'm kidding. We just talk about them.

They did a video with Tua. Yeah. We got Greg, though. We played it.

We have Greg on the second half of mystery crate this week. But yeah, we're obsessed with Big AJ and what is it? Aj and big justice.

Maybe I'll get around to watching mystery crate. Although I am into the Olympics, I'm going to be watching the opening ceremony today because they're doing it on the river. This is the first time they've done this parade of athletes on a body of water. It's a boat parade. Coco and LeBron on our flag bearers for our nation, correct? So I'm excited about this. It's happening at 1:30 for the live version. I'm going to catch a live version, but this is a bit awkward for some folks in that I've been watching the Olympics for a good three days now, and I had noticed on the TVs that the rugby seven quarter finals were going on. So we're going to have a situation which like semifinals are set. Can you imagine if you're one of these countries that was just eliminated in the quarter finals? New Zealand just got eliminated. Obviously, a very good nation in rugby, and they're like, There's this whole ceremony. They're like, And now the games can begin.

And now New Zealand's rugby team, and they're all sad.

So what are we watching for today? Because we've known from previous opening ceremonies, there's the possibility for viral moments. There was the oiled-up flag bearer from eight years ago. Some people just love the production aspects. I remember the Beijing opening ceremonies League, folks. I've got fanaties. I am all over the place. I know Liga Mechis. I know all the the Comnebol domestic Leagues. I had seen something that I never saw in my entire life, and that was the Olympic soccer game between Argentina and Morocco.I never bet on soccer.This is going on. It was at 9:00 AM a couple of days ago, Morocco goes up 2-0 over Argentina, which, as you know, most dangerous lead in sports. Argentina Clause gets one back. Then for whatever reason, for reasons that think it stands to reason to say that is far too long. And at that point, we've all seen bad calls in soccer. You just live with it. But they demanded that the teams return to the pitch, and they addeddone to not trip up on that. You have JD Vance. The rumor around J. D.Vance is that he faked a couch. Yeah, I saw that. I saw all these funny videos of him lusting after a couch. I'm like, Why does everybody think that J. D. Vance wants to sleep in this couch?All right, now I'm listening.There was a tweet, I believe on July 17th, that insinuated that in J. D. Vance's book, Hillbilly Elegy, there was a passage about his coming-of-age story in which he admits to having sex with a latex glove inside out between couch cushions when he was a younger person.That changes everything.That's the tweet. That tweet went so viral that all over TikTok, there were people creating videos, romantic songs with images of JD Vance and then a leather couch, and then JD Vance, and then a couch cushion. That was the general vibe. It became so popular that the AP yesterday put out a story, No, J. D. Vance did not have sex with a couch. But that story was retracted, and they said they can neither confirm nor deny whether or not-How would they know?J. D. Vance had sex with a couch because they figured out that the original tweet wasn't true. So My question is, if this keeps going, will J. D. Vance have to say, No, I did not have sexual relations? Will he say, It was just a one night stand? Or will he just say, I'm so fucking tired of this? But he also has been going viral for saying that any woman that has not had a child in this country should not really be participating in politics. He's had some really rough and just honestly scary rhetoric, but he referred to them as childless cat ladies. Now, I can think of a very important person in pop culture who is childless and also a cat lady.That would be Taylor Swift. Now, we obviously know that Taylor Swift's public endorsement of Kamala Harris is going to be really important to get voters on the side of the Democrats to potentially even swing an election if she can motivate her voters. But the thing that no one's talking about that might cause some concern, the link between Charlie XCX and Taylor Swift. Now, what is it? Charlie XCX engaged to George Daniel, the drummer of the 1975. Who's the lead singer of the 1975? Well, that, ladies and gentlemen, Maddie Healey, Taylor Swift's controversial ex-boyfriend. Will the bad blood between Taylor Swift and Maddie Healey potentially also cause bad blood between Charlie XCX and Taylor Swift, and in turn, maybe leave the sour taste in the mouth of Taylor Swift regarding Kamala Harris embracing Charlie XCX? These are the questions we'll have to answer over the next few months in pop culture and meme culture.Okay, wait. So you're telling me we need to get Charlie XCX to break up with her boyfriend, to get Taylor Swift to endorse Kamala Harris, to get the Swifties to register to vote and vote for Kamala Harris because then they'll have something in common?Or Charlie XXX and Taylor Swift will need to work it out on the remix. That's really the only other option.I understood very little of that.You weren't supposed to.The only note is you got to end on the high note of sofa puns. It was really well I'm done. Thanks.I really appreciate it. You lost Tonyall that impressive. He's only hitting 213 as a batting average. His OPS is not that loss on this one, which seems to be a theme in a lot of these trades.Capitulation station for the Miami Marlins.That's the part that's interesting about how the national media has been reporting this, because you have all these different leaks that suggests all different things about personality. You wonder if the market would be bigger if those things weren't there or if they're trying to suppress value because look- He's been good as of late, by the way. He's been really good as of late.Not that that necessarily is going to change things, but You may find a desperate team that now is like, I was getting at.I don't like debates. And that's why I go with Miller Light, because it's got undebatable quality. It tastes as great as your barbecue. It's a beer that strips everything away that you don't need and holds on to what matters most. It's the light beer with the most taste, less filling at only 96 calories. That is perfect for when you're eating some barbecue outside with your family. With a Miller light in your hand, drilling doesn't just taste great. It tastes like Miller time. To get Miller light delivered right to your door, visit millerlite. Com/dan, or you can find it pretty much anywhere that sells beer. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories per 12 ounces.

League, folks. I've got fanaties. I am all over the place. I know Liga Mechis. I know all the the Comnebol domestic Leagues. I had seen something that I never saw in my entire life, and that was the Olympic soccer game between Argentina and Morocco.

I never bet on soccer.

This is going on. It was at 9:00 AM a couple of days ago, Morocco goes up 2-0 over Argentina, which, as you know, most dangerous lead in sports. Argentina Clause gets one back. Then for whatever reason, for reasons that think it stands to reason to say that is far too long. And at that point, we've all seen bad calls in soccer. You just live with it. But they demanded that the teams return to the pitch, and they addeddone to not trip up on that. You have JD Vance. The rumor around J. D.Vance is that he faked a couch. Yeah, I saw that. I saw all these funny videos of him lusting after a couch. I'm like, Why does everybody think that J. D. Vance wants to sleep in this couch?All right, now I'm listening.There was a tweet, I believe on July 17th, that insinuated that in J. D. Vance's book, Hillbilly Elegy, there was a passage about his coming-of-age story in which he admits to having sex with a latex glove inside out between couch cushions when he was a younger person.That changes everything.That's the tweet. That tweet went so viral that all over TikTok, there were people creating videos, romantic songs with images of JD Vance and then a leather couch, and then JD Vance, and then a couch cushion. That was the general vibe. It became so popular that the AP yesterday put out a story, No, J. D. Vance did not have sex with a couch. But that story was retracted, and they said they can neither confirm nor deny whether or not-How would they know?J. D. Vance had sex with a couch because they figured out that the original tweet wasn't true. So My question is, if this keeps going, will J. D. Vance have to say, No, I did not have sexual relations? Will he say, It was just a one night stand? Or will he just say, I'm so fucking tired of this? But he also has been going viral for saying that any woman that has not had a child in this country should not really be participating in politics. He's had some really rough and just honestly scary rhetoric, but he referred to them as childless cat ladies. Now, I can think of a very important person in pop culture who is childless and also a cat lady.That would be Taylor Swift. Now, we obviously know that Taylor Swift's public endorsement of Kamala Harris is going to be really important to get voters on the side of the Democrats to potentially even swing an election if she can motivate her voters. But the thing that no one's talking about that might cause some concern, the link between Charlie XCX and Taylor Swift. Now, what is it? Charlie XCX engaged to George Daniel, the drummer of the 1975. Who's the lead singer of the 1975? Well, that, ladies and gentlemen, Maddie Healey, Taylor Swift's controversial ex-boyfriend. Will the bad blood between Taylor Swift and Maddie Healey potentially also cause bad blood between Charlie XCX and Taylor Swift, and in turn, maybe leave the sour taste in the mouth of Taylor Swift regarding Kamala Harris embracing Charlie XCX? These are the questions we'll have to answer over the next few months in pop culture and meme culture.Okay, wait. So you're telling me we need to get Charlie XCX to break up with her boyfriend, to get Taylor Swift to endorse Kamala Harris, to get the Swifties to register to vote and vote for Kamala Harris because then they'll have something in common?Or Charlie XXX and Taylor Swift will need to work it out on the remix. That's really the only other option.I understood very little of that.You weren't supposed to.The only note is you got to end on the high note of sofa puns. It was really well I'm done. Thanks.I really appreciate it. You lost Tonyall that impressive. He's only hitting 213 as a batting average. His OPS is not that loss on this one, which seems to be a theme in a lot of these trades.Capitulation station for the Miami Marlins.That's the part that's interesting about how the national media has been reporting this, because you have all these different leaks that suggests all different things about personality. You wonder if the market would be bigger if those things weren't there or if they're trying to suppress value because look- He's been good as of late, by the way. He's been really good as of late.Not that that necessarily is going to change things, but You may find a desperate team that now is like, I was getting at.I don't like debates. And that's why I go with Miller Light, because it's got undebatable quality. It tastes as great as your barbecue. It's a beer that strips everything away that you don't need and holds on to what matters most. It's the light beer with the most taste, less filling at only 96 calories. That is perfect for when you're eating some barbecue outside with your family. With a Miller light in your hand, drilling doesn't just taste great. It tastes like Miller time. To get Miller light delivered right to your door, visit millerlite. Com/dan, or you can find it pretty much anywhere that sells beer. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories per 12 ounces.

think it stands to reason to say that is far too long. And at that point, we've all seen bad calls in soccer. You just live with it. But they demanded that the teams return to the pitch, and they addeddone to not trip up on that. You have JD Vance. The rumor around J. D.Vance is that he faked a couch. Yeah, I saw that. I saw all these funny videos of him lusting after a couch. I'm like, Why does everybody think that J. D. Vance wants to sleep in this couch?All right, now I'm listening.There was a tweet, I believe on July 17th, that insinuated that in J. D. Vance's book, Hillbilly Elegy, there was a passage about his coming-of-age story in which he admits to having sex with a latex glove inside out between couch cushions when he was a younger person.That changes everything.That's the tweet. That tweet went so viral that all over TikTok, there were people creating videos, romantic songs with images of JD Vance and then a leather couch, and then JD Vance, and then a couch cushion. That was the general vibe. It became so popular that the AP yesterday put out a story, No, J. D. Vance did not have sex with a couch. But that story was retracted, and they said they can neither confirm nor deny whether or not-How would they know?J. D. Vance had sex with a couch because they figured out that the original tweet wasn't true. So My question is, if this keeps going, will J. D. Vance have to say, No, I did not have sexual relations? Will he say, It was just a one night stand? Or will he just say, I'm so fucking tired of this? But he also has been going viral for saying that any woman that has not had a child in this country should not really be participating in politics. He's had some really rough and just honestly scary rhetoric, but he referred to them as childless cat ladies. Now, I can think of a very important person in pop culture who is childless and also a cat lady.That would be Taylor Swift. Now, we obviously know that Taylor Swift's public endorsement of Kamala Harris is going to be really important to get voters on the side of the Democrats to potentially even swing an election if she can motivate her voters. But the thing that no one's talking about that might cause some concern, the link between Charlie XCX and Taylor Swift. Now, what is it? Charlie XCX engaged to George Daniel, the drummer of the 1975. Who's the lead singer of the 1975? Well, that, ladies and gentlemen, Maddie Healey, Taylor Swift's controversial ex-boyfriend. Will the bad blood between Taylor Swift and Maddie Healey potentially also cause bad blood between Charlie XCX and Taylor Swift, and in turn, maybe leave the sour taste in the mouth of Taylor Swift regarding Kamala Harris embracing Charlie XCX? These are the questions we'll have to answer over the next few months in pop culture and meme culture.Okay, wait. So you're telling me we need to get Charlie XCX to break up with her boyfriend, to get Taylor Swift to endorse Kamala Harris, to get the Swifties to register to vote and vote for Kamala Harris because then they'll have something in common?Or Charlie XXX and Taylor Swift will need to work it out on the remix. That's really the only other option.I understood very little of that.You weren't supposed to.The only note is you got to end on the high note of sofa puns. It was really well I'm done. Thanks.I really appreciate it. You lost Tonyall that impressive. He's only hitting 213 as a batting average. His OPS is not that loss on this one, which seems to be a theme in a lot of these trades.Capitulation station for the Miami Marlins.That's the part that's interesting about how the national media has been reporting this, because you have all these different leaks that suggests all different things about personality. You wonder if the market would be bigger if those things weren't there or if they're trying to suppress value because look- He's been good as of late, by the way. He's been really good as of late.Not that that necessarily is going to change things, but You may find a desperate team that now is like, I was getting at.I don't like debates. And that's why I go with Miller Light, because it's got undebatable quality. It tastes as great as your barbecue. It's a beer that strips everything away that you don't need and holds on to what matters most. It's the light beer with the most taste, less filling at only 96 calories. That is perfect for when you're eating some barbecue outside with your family. With a Miller light in your hand, drilling doesn't just taste great. It tastes like Miller time. To get Miller light delivered right to your door, visit millerlite. Com/dan, or you can find it pretty much anywhere that sells beer. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories per 12 ounces.

done to not trip up on that. You have JD Vance. The rumor around J. D.

Vance is that he faked a couch. Yeah, I saw that. I saw all these funny videos of him lusting after a couch. I'm like, Why does everybody think that J. D. Vance wants to sleep in this couch?

All right, now I'm listening.

There was a tweet, I believe on July 17th, that insinuated that in J. D. Vance's book, Hillbilly Elegy, there was a passage about his coming-of-age story in which he admits to having sex with a latex glove inside out between couch cushions when he was a younger person.

That changes everything.

That's the tweet. That tweet went so viral that all over TikTok, there were people creating videos, romantic songs with images of JD Vance and then a leather couch, and then JD Vance, and then a couch cushion. That was the general vibe. It became so popular that the AP yesterday put out a story, No, J. D. Vance did not have sex with a couch. But that story was retracted, and they said they can neither confirm nor deny whether or not-How would they know?J. D. Vance had sex with a couch because they figured out that the original tweet wasn't true. So My question is, if this keeps going, will J. D. Vance have to say, No, I did not have sexual relations? Will he say, It was just a one night stand? Or will he just say, I'm so fucking tired of this? But he also has been going viral for saying that any woman that has not had a child in this country should not really be participating in politics. He's had some really rough and just honestly scary rhetoric, but he referred to them as childless cat ladies. Now, I can think of a very important person in pop culture who is childless and also a cat lady.

That would be Taylor Swift. Now, we obviously know that Taylor Swift's public endorsement of Kamala Harris is going to be really important to get voters on the side of the Democrats to potentially even swing an election if she can motivate her voters. But the thing that no one's talking about that might cause some concern, the link between Charlie XCX and Taylor Swift. Now, what is it? Charlie XCX engaged to George Daniel, the drummer of the 1975. Who's the lead singer of the 1975? Well, that, ladies and gentlemen, Maddie Healey, Taylor Swift's controversial ex-boyfriend. Will the bad blood between Taylor Swift and Maddie Healey potentially also cause bad blood between Charlie XCX and Taylor Swift, and in turn, maybe leave the sour taste in the mouth of Taylor Swift regarding Kamala Harris embracing Charlie XCX? These are the questions we'll have to answer over the next few months in pop culture and meme culture.

Okay, wait. So you're telling me we need to get Charlie XCX to break up with her boyfriend, to get Taylor Swift to endorse Kamala Harris, to get the Swifties to register to vote and vote for Kamala Harris because then they'll have something in common?

Or Charlie XXX and Taylor Swift will need to work it out on the remix. That's really the only other option.

I understood very little of that.

You weren't supposed to.

The only note is you got to end on the high note of sofa puns. It was really well I'm done. Thanks.

I really appreciate it. You lost Tonyall that impressive. He's only hitting 213 as a batting average. His OPS is not that loss on this one, which seems to be a theme in a lot of these trades.Capitulation station for the Miami Marlins.That's the part that's interesting about how the national media has been reporting this, because you have all these different leaks that suggests all different things about personality. You wonder if the market would be bigger if those things weren't there or if they're trying to suppress value because look- He's been good as of late, by the way. He's been really good as of late.Not that that necessarily is going to change things, but You may find a desperate team that now is like, I was getting at.I don't like debates. And that's why I go with Miller Light, because it's got undebatable quality. It tastes as great as your barbecue. It's a beer that strips everything away that you don't need and holds on to what matters most. It's the light beer with the most taste, less filling at only 96 calories. That is perfect for when you're eating some barbecue outside with your family. With a Miller light in your hand, drilling doesn't just taste great. It tastes like Miller time. To get Miller light delivered right to your door, visit millerlite. Com/dan, or you can find it pretty much anywhere that sells beer. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories per 12 ounces.

all that impressive. He's only hitting 213 as a batting average. His OPS is not that loss on this one, which seems to be a theme in a lot of these trades.Capitulation station for the Miami Marlins.That's the part that's interesting about how the national media has been reporting this, because you have all these different leaks that suggests all different things about personality. You wonder if the market would be bigger if those things weren't there or if they're trying to suppress value because look- He's been good as of late, by the way. He's been really good as of late.Not that that necessarily is going to change things, but You may find a desperate team that now is like, I was getting at.I don't like debates. And that's why I go with Miller Light, because it's got undebatable quality. It tastes as great as your barbecue. It's a beer that strips everything away that you don't need and holds on to what matters most. It's the light beer with the most taste, less filling at only 96 calories. That is perfect for when you're eating some barbecue outside with your family. With a Miller light in your hand, drilling doesn't just taste great. It tastes like Miller time. To get Miller light delivered right to your door, visit millerlite. Com/dan, or you can find it pretty much anywhere that sells beer. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories per 12 ounces.

loss on this one, which seems to be a theme in a lot of these trades.

Capitulation station for the Miami Marlins.

That's the part that's interesting about how the national media has been reporting this, because you have all these different leaks that suggests all different things about personality. You wonder if the market would be bigger if those things weren't there or if they're trying to suppress value because look- He's been good as of late, by the way. He's been really good as of late.

Not that that necessarily is going to change things, but You may find a desperate team that now is like, I was getting at.I don't like debates. And that's why I go with Miller Light, because it's got undebatable quality. It tastes as great as your barbecue. It's a beer that strips everything away that you don't need and holds on to what matters most. It's the light beer with the most taste, less filling at only 96 calories. That is perfect for when you're eating some barbecue outside with your family. With a Miller light in your hand, drilling doesn't just taste great. It tastes like Miller time. To get Miller light delivered right to your door, visit millerlite. Com/dan, or you can find it pretty much anywhere that sells beer. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories per 12 ounces.

I was getting at.

I don't like debates. And that's why I go with Miller Light, because it's got undebatable quality. It tastes as great as your barbecue. It's a beer that strips everything away that you don't need and holds on to what matters most. It's the light beer with the most taste, less filling at only 96 calories. That is perfect for when you're eating some barbecue outside with your family. With a Miller light in your hand, drilling doesn't just taste great. It tastes like Miller time. To get Miller light delivered right to your door, visit millerlite. Com/dan, or you can find it pretty much anywhere that sells beer. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories per 12 ounces.