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My nuts roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost snipping at my ass. Ultide carols being sung by a choir and neighbors shout, Quiet, to stem the singing fast. We all know a turkey and Greg's stuffed dry, help to make the season bright. Heavy drinking adults hammered on gym beam, won't find it hard at all to sleep tonight. They all know that Santa's on his way. Roofs ruined as he lands his bulky slay. That's a fair comment. Reindeer shit all across our front lawns before the beasts snort and fly away. And so I'm offering this simple phrase to kids from one to 93. Although it's been said many times, many ways, Merry Christmas to me.

Jeremy is applauding back there. I am not certain he should be. Lucy is going along to support Jeremy. I'm not sure she should be either. A big upset in that song, though, I will say, quite the lovely surprise, but an upset is that the voice would be good and the writing would be bad. That's not one that I had there because he's a professional writer, but he wants to evolve into a professional singer and broadcaster, but he doesn't know when Mike Ryan is talking in his headset or on the air. And so in the middle of his song, you also heard his voice live saying, Fair comment, because Mike told him a Miller Light rhyme was right there for him, but he chose not Miller Light for some... Well, because he's him.

I told him when I first heard it that there's a few opportunities here to change some lyrics to make it a little more funny. He's just like, I like it the.

Way it is. Yeah, well, it's his song. Exactly. Write your own.

You ever go to Da Vinci and say, Hey, about a little more paint here or there?

No? Yeah, the Mona Lisa smile should be a big grim. No, you do what you think is right.

Love your shirt. Is that the Dan Levitard collection?

Thank.

You. It is, yeah.

I cut down my own Christmas tree. I'm a lumberjack now.

The rare flannel in South Florida.

I am warm right now, believe me. It's like so hot in here.

To be clear, we decided that all of that was not good enough for a lot of different reasons that we now offer critique on, and we punished it by leading the show with it. We decided to not reward him. Did you see the smile on his face? It's as happy as I've seen him in six months because he's like, Wait, we're starting with something about me?

You know sometimes when a great scoring two guard is struggling, they'll send him to the line for a technical free throw, even though he's not the best free throw shooter, to get him in rhythm. Call a couple of plays for Greg Cody at the top. Maybe we'll get a better Greg.

I have for you guys off of the top here some dolphin stuff. Stugatz lost so many bets last night. He was wandering around yesterday saying, I've got the dolphins and all the teasers, and it's more money and more bets than I've ever made on anything.

When I went to bed last night, the dolphins were up 14 points. I figured when I wake up the next morning, Okay, maybe I lose the straight-up bet because the dolphins left the back door wide open. But never in my wildest dreams did I think I would wake up this morning and realize not only did I lose the straight bet, but I lost all my teasers. I had them wrapped in every single teaser. Eight teasers, to be exact, I lost them all.

When did you leave? You went asleep when they were up 14?

Yeah. No, I got home and they were up 14, and I went to bed. I figured the game was over.

You left the watch party. Thank you to everybody who came. God, so many people flew in from all over just for a day. -crazy. -hugely moving and flattering, and I will say without getting lost in it, to all of you who always come to us and say, We dragged you through a dark time. I needed what you brought me last night because it was really nice to see people fly in from all over, just sit at a bar at a mall and watch a game with us and tell us how much they care about us. But in the middle of it was the single funniest game result that you could ever get if you're our show. We will get to—I'll show you a video shortly here of Lewis from Video, just despondent, wandering around. Because what happened last night in the game, I simply cannot remember a Dolphins game that felt like that for a variety of reasons. They have dared to give us reasons to hope in this region. We do not trust this team. We expect that in December, but this team is going to be different. And before December gets hard, that's the one you're going to lose?

That way? Because Chris, Cody, and others had already banked to that one. Stewart said, Everyone had banked that one. I'm telling him, Hey, football is football, man. Don't just tell me you think you're going to win all the games because the schedule is easy. Last night, football, footballed in both games. But what I want to talk about in what is happening as we entered December, Stugart's, and December's hard. I'm telling you now, I fear that Buffalo is better. I feared it all year. It's not because of that game last night. I just think Buffalo is very good. Because I've been in this market long enough, I, like so many people on my text strings last night, felt the feeling of the irrational emotional hyperventilation of, This feeling right here tonight is worse than a 1-15 season. Because that 1-15 season, I didn't hope for shit. I didn't think… I'm not saying it's reasonable. I'm not thinking insane. But I'm telling you, Dolphins fans have something here where they've dared to trust this team. Last night that trust was betrayed in a way that we haven't seen all season. If they can't actually beat a good team, at least they'd allowed us to reside in the comfort of they're not going to lose to any of the bad ones.

They lost to a bad one last night in an inconceivable fashion. At the end of that game, as to the win probability was 99.7 for the Dolphins. They were up 14 with four minutes left in the.

Football game. Three minutes to go, actually.

But they also, watching the game, had no business being up 14. They got lucky with those turnovers. It was a weird game. That game seemed to shift, but then at the end, it went right back to where it had been all day long.

I agree with everything you just said, but the only thing I'm holding on to is that every good team in the League has done this. You lose against a bad team. We'll give you one.

Yes, but what every team in the league has not done $5 for the phlegm in your voice at the end.

Rough night, Dan-He battled.

By the way, it should be noted that even though you might find some agreement with your take that Buffalo is better, still plus money to make the playoffs for Buffalo. They put themselves in quite the hole this season.

But Buffalo beat Miami 48 to 20.

Sometimes better teams miss the playoffs. Sometimes with the lesser team win the division. By the way, I don't think that's what's happening here. I think Miami is still a good team, and this stuff tends to happen during a season. However, that was the rare game you had no business even winning that you somehow blew in probableble fashion. It was a bizarre game because the Dolphins played like garbage.

This will all depend going forward on Tariq Hill and his health, right? Because without him, they were dreadful. When he came back, they were fine. I mean, he's the MVP. He is the MVP of the NFL.

They weren't fine. He gave the offense a spark, but they still had plenty of help from Will Levis on their touchdowns and special teams plays, they really didn't. That game got up to a 14-point spread, and it had no business being there.

The first three quarters of that game were dreadful. The fourth quarter was amazing. I object to a couple of things you have said, because when you talk about Buffalo's playoff, chances you are correct. But because of what happened last night, the division is still in play. You can say Buffalo's schedule is tough, but so is Miami's. I think Buffalo is a better football team. I've thought it for two years, but we will see what happens. You are right. Buffalo might not make the playoff. But the part I object to more is what Chris Cody is saying. When he says, We've seen football teams do this all year. This is football, footballing. No, we haven't seen football teams, A, do this, lose in a heartbreaking fashion that shakes your fan base. And also, you had the number one seed in your sight's home field by, it was all there for you, and you choked it up at home against a bad team on national television. We have not seen that happen this year to anybody. There's nobody in the league that that has happened to where they've got everything lined up. It almost happened to Baltimore.

It almost happened to Baltimore. I know, but just.

- It's happened to the Kansas City Chiefs two.

Weeks ago.

And the Jags. Right. Everyone calmed down, okay? Because they still play Baltimore later this season. It was a loss. It was a bad loss. But if Tarik Hill is fine, I believe the Dolphins will be fine.

I'm.

The margin of error.

That went away. I don't know if Tarik Hill is fine. And when you tell me that this happened to Kansas City, no, Kansas City did not lose to Tennessee. Tennessee's bad. It's a bad football team. Buffalo is not bad. Kansas City lost to Buffalo at home. None of these teams lose to a two-touchdown underdog. Tennessee has no reason in that game to do anything other than fall down on the floor. The problem is that Vrabel will give his dick in order to win a Super Bowl.

Eagles lost to the jets.

Earlier this season, yes.

I just.

Think that this-I had the Chiefs lost to the Broncos when the Broncos were bad, but now the Broncos watch.

Out for them. Will Levis told us after the game that's a special group.

They got there. I don't like him.

But Dan makes a good point. Mike Rable would give up his dick. I mean.

Why don't you like Levis?

Vaney arms. I mean, look at him. You know why I don't like him. I don't think there's even words. I think everybody gets the same feeling, right? You look at him, you're just like, I.

Don't like him. If he's on your team, you like him? No.

Not really.

Even if he's on your team helping you win.

Football games. I mean, he also almost cost in that football game a thousand times. I understand. But he pulled it out. That is one of the worst pitches I've ever seen in my entire life. How do you throw it over and behind Derek Henry's head? How did that happen? I don't like him.

Greg Cody, give us the perspective as the homer who had to rewrite that column three times last night. You wrote every column last night, and then the one you filed in the last five minutes could not have been something you were very proud of, given the insanity of trying to write the column differently three different times with nine minutes to spare.

That's correct. To the point where on the Brightline train coming to the studio for this show, I was essentially tweaking the column to make it a little bit more presentable because it was terrible last night. It was one of the weirdest, strangest games I've ever had to write, or watch, or endure. And here comes the Homer and me. You're going to tease me for what I'm about to say. The reaction to this loss is amusing to me. They're eight and one against teams that they should beat. Okay, eight and one, that's pretty good. I believe in the law of averages. I believe they were due for a game like this. And what's amazing is how everybody, including my wife, who's a bigger dolphin fan than I am, she's like, Oh, these were the same old dolphins. These were the Dolphins we're used to. Okay, they had a shit game. They did. They were terrible. And Tyree Kills missing a quarter and a half of the game.

Certainly didn't help. And Armstead being out and then losing Connor Williams.

Early in the game. Yeah, that was huge because Tua is not great under pressure.

He has not been rushed like that all season. No, he hasn't. That has not happened all season, where he's got five sacks and he's in trouble all game. At the end of the game, you don't have much confidence they're going to be able to get down.

The field. Right. For the first time this season, you had an occasion to see him sacked and hope he got up right away because this is the concussion issue raising its ugly head. Listen, they're still the favorite to win the AFCEs. The number one seed is still in play. The team has a statement to make against the jets. I thought the jets would be the tougher game than Tennessee. That's the dispiriting part of it. But if they beat the jets, they're still going to have reached the 10th win mark more quickly on the calendar than any Dolphins team since 2000. The good season they're having at 9:00 and 4:00 is not abandoned. There's no need to go back to square one and panic.

Don't let me run.

Let's go, Islanders. Let's go, Islanders. Let's go, Islanders. Let's go, Islanders. Let's go, Islanders. Stugats. Let's go, Islanders. Stugats.

This is the Don't Let Me Run show with the Stugats.

There's still 97 % to make the playoffs. The discussion we should be having here is just what do we project them in the playoffs? And I have to admit, I said it a week ago, Tuah makes me nervous. When you look around the league at other quarterbacks, as much as I love his accuracy, when everything is perfect, I love Tuah. But last night you saw it on the final drive. When shit breaks down, he's not getting out of that pocket. I'm just saying, I'm still pro-Tua, but you just can't look at him and think he's on the level with these other guys outside of the pocket. I could rattle off seven quarterbacks, Lamar Jackson, Josh Allen, Patrick Mohomes, Herbert's hurt, but Jalen hurts, everybody when they get out of the pocket, I'm terrified. When it breaks down, the other teams.

Are happy. I don't like this. I feel like Dan and Chris are looking for a reason to be Dolph out, and they've just been waiting for it all season long, and they've been waiting for a reason to criticize. Chris has been over here, a secret charges fan the whole time. It's three years ago. I feel like Dan and Chris are looking for a reason to be the same. He's here and he's back on the Dolphins thing, but he's always been out on the Dolphins.

So you like to out of the pocket? You guys just want to be Dolphout. Can we talk about the game or you want to just do this like Dolphins?

You.

Either like them or.

You don't.

Like them. Exactly, right.

Let's talk about it.

He was getting.

Somewhere, Chris. Exactly, right.

We like talking in general terms.

I just want to talk.

About Toa. -no. You guys want to have reasons to criticize and complain about this team that has given you a nine and four start so far.

Can I be Dolphins?

You can be Dolphins. Good. But we need to decide today because come playoff time, we're not going to be the Dolphins fan in The Dolphins show again when the going got tough and you guys got going.

It sounds to me like everybody could use a hug because a hug is always the right size.

Winnie the Pooh, go sit in the penalty box. What? What? For two minutes, please. He's just trying so hard.

Is that even like an expression of.

Winnie the Pooh? He's trying to. He's got a lot of punishments that he's.

Got to... How is he always losing? Or is just no one else.

Doing anything? I think Taran, Armstead, and Connor Williams are more important than Toe.

Oh, my God.

I.

Think without them, I don't think we're going to like the offense.

You're really, man.

We need our left, tackle, and center.

I understand.

Talking-look at the games we've played this year without.

Chris, I get talking about injuries. Tennessee, on top of being a bad team, they were also pretty hurt. They had a hurt corner. The injury excuse doesn't really match up when you're playing the Tennessee Titan.

We can talk about Toe if you want because we do get obsessed with these things, okay? I understand. Billy, it is a good point that you are making. I do think over the course of this show, we should identify on charts and with notarized witnesses who's Dolphin and who's Dolphout.

I'm Dolphin. I'm allowed to have a thought.

That's debatable.

I'm allowed to just have a.

Thought about Dua. You don't get to decide. You know what? I don't think anyone else can actually even say if they're Dolphin or Dolphout. I think we all need to vote on if someone's Dolphin or Dolphout.

-like survivor style?

-yeah. Can I start by saying I trust Dua outside the pocket.

There you go.

Because I.

Love him like a son. Mike, I vote Dolph in.

Thank you, Billy. Yes, in fact, okay, Billy, we will figure out how to do that before the end of the show in committee form or survivor form. Who's Dolph in and Dolph out? But as you talk about two, and as you talk about their offensive line, and as you talk about Stugats, you talk about Tyree Kill for MVP, it does ignore that with four minutes left in that game, they had a 14.2 touchdown lead, and it was the absolute fault of the defense that allowed a bad football team to go down the field twice. The second time, Stugats, in two chunks that you would have expected from the Dolphins offense all season, the way that they play football, that Dolphins defense fell apart. What now comes for Tua as his offensive line falls apart, is all of the criticism because nobody's going to be blaming the defense today nationally. It's going to be about questioning too. Nationally, the conversation is going to be, I don't trust the Dolphins, and I don't trust the quarterback because they can be slowed, and it's going to be ignored that they were up two touchdowns in that game, and the defense.

Totally fell apart. But the argument can be made that defense also got them in that game because they had the turnovers. They got them to the field position. One of them was special teams where there was that botched pun where they recovered on the 10-yard line or whatever. But the defense had turnovers. They had an interception return for a touchdown. They had a fumble recovery that put him right in the end zone. It was a weird defensive game because they did blow it at the end, and they gave back the lead, but they also got him in the position to get that lead.

The conversation is always about the quarterback. When they win, he gets all the praise. When they lose, he's the guy that gets blamed. Dan, he did have opportunities. Even when they scored and got it to a seven-point game, they had an opportunity to put the game away with a drive, and he couldn't do it.

Offense.

Line. They had the ball last. You can blame to all you want, but I prefer not.

They left a lot of points on the board as well. They're very cute inside the Red Zone. Just run it down.

Their throats. They've been the best Red Zone team in the League. They were cute last night because they didn't get what you wanted, but they've been the best Red Zone team in the League on offense, and I would just consult you. I know you're not going to listen to me on this. It doesn't have to be the conversation is all about, because I'm just going to do quarterback either wins or loses, and that's what I'm going to do. A 99.7% winning percentage, Toa was on the sideline when they had that. He wasn't playing. He wasn't in the game to get tackled by his offensive line. With four minutes left in a football game they had at home, and not only at home, Stugat, with a crowd that was pumped up because the previous four minutes were nuts. What the Dolphins did in the fourth quarter before that were nuts. The crowd is elevated, and you let Will Levis go right down the field on you in chunks. What does Tua have to do with that? Explain to me what Tuah has to.

Do with that. I want to be Dolphins, so Tua was great last night.

I do have a question about Tuah, not doubting his prowess, but what's with the Fumbles? Thirteen games played, 12 Fumbles.

He could take you out, too.

One of those crucial in the red zone, when it looked like they drew up an interesting play for A-Chan to get in the end zone, I would have appreciated that, just drops a ball. I mean, this is ridiculous. This copious amount of fumbles, he's had this problem throughout his career. He's damn near averaging a fumble a game. I mean, we saw the difference. Look at Sunday Night Football. What was the difference between the Eagles and Cowboys on Sunday Night? The Cowboys got three of their fumbles. In their first matchup that the Eagles were lucky to win that they thoroughly outplayed Dallas, they got back all their fumbles. So the difference between those two teams is fumbles lost. It's a huge-Dolf out.

It's a huge-Dolf out. I'm sorry.

No, wait.

I'm just saying clean it up.

How about this?

He's.

Only lost five. How about this? Jason Sanders, kick the ball between the giant yellow things you need to kick the ball between. -billy's all foul. -enough of no.

Billy say he doesn't.

Like the team. -no, Sanders is gone. Sanders is getting cut. What? What? Sanders is all out. He may still be on the team tomorrow, but he needs to get cut. Not on his kicking leg, but he needs to get cut. Like, physically?

By whom? Who do you.

Want to-I would never send anyone to do such a thing, Dan. That's irresponsible.

But you're afraid he's going to get cut by somebody.

Because-i'm just worried. I mean, how many warnings can someone get and not change their behavior? -he's been warned. -i mean, Billy. Ship up or ship out?

-billy sounds dolf out to me.

-he's been warned.

Stugatti is right here.

What do you mean? What did I do? How many times can you be warned and not change your behavior?

Why are you making this about me?

Because he just said how many-I'm going to kick her. I know, but Jason Sanders only been doing that for a couple of years. You've been doing it for a couple of decades.

It's true.

Cody's the same.

And what happened? Kick the ball higher. How about don't get blocked? I don't understand that. How does it get blocked? I don't know if Jason Sanders knows this. Jason, you know that the NFL now is just picking up random guys from the USFL that can go 30 for 30, right? That have perfect field goal percentages that kick the ball 67, 80 yards if they need to, and they're perfect at doing it. You're getting too comfortable, buddy. Bud, I know it's holiday season, and no one wants to do what needs to be done, but kick it between the yellow posts.

It's not that difficult.

Thank you. Greg's done it. I watched Greg do it.

-yeah, I kicked a 50-It might be from 80. It might.

Be from 80. But listen, it's pointless to parse this loss because there's blame to go around. I thought the point of this game was that the Dolphins did virtually nothing right. They were awful all over the field. The defense was horrific late. The red zone offense was terrible. Two-0 wasn't great. Tyree, Hill got injured. They had a field goal blocked. They were just terrible. It was a terrible game, and they almost lucked out a win because it would have been lucky had they won on two gift turnovers.

Stugatz was so close to having an easy cover. When the Dolphins, that entire game, seemed like there was no way that they were going to cover 13 or 13 and a half. I couldn't believe it. And then they got two quick touchdowns and the game was clearly over. Clearly and obviously over. There was no circumstance under which… At that point, you're saying to yourself, Only if they were cover an on-site kick. There's just no way that that offense is going to be able to get down the field. Yeah, fuck off, Dan.

Dan Lebertard. One of the great benefits of being married is your wife's purse. You can put so much stuff.

In there. I would hate to be your wife's purse. You walked in here the other day with silverware in a pocket.

That's right, because my wife wasn't here to put it in her purse.

Stoogaz. Your wife.

Must- Must?

-be amazed at what a child.

You are. What do you mean?

Just.

Your eating habits. How prepared I.

Am you can just say. -your eating habits, the mess that your desk is.

The mess that my desk is. I'd just like to say this right now, every single person in here, every one of you has benefited from something that I've had underneath my desk. You think that I haven't give people spare socks before? Because you'd be wrong. You're a hoarder. I'm prepared. Underwear. Underwear. Chris wore my underwear once. This is the Dan Lebertar Show with the Stugats.

We will get to Pablo Torre in just a second. Pablo Torre finds out, has been voted the best podcast in America, sports podcast.

In America. He's coming on again?

He is coming on again, God bless football. Although it deserves to be voted the best podcast in America, it was not because these things can be subjective. And Pablo Torre won this round. But before we get to that, Lucy, you and Roy were profoundly disgusted by the amount of honey that Winnie the Pooh was actually eating. That was not a bit, that was actual honey. It did look disgusting.

It had to be like a full cup of honey that Jeremy just… I don't know.

It's gross. -drake-a? What's the.?

All I have put in my body today is three cups of coffee and an entire cup of honey. -go to.

The penalty box. -don't let him fool you. He said in the break that he's jittery.

Go back to the penalty box, please. Put it on the pole as well at Levitard show. Do you drink honey or eat it at Levitard show?

I drink it.

-is it a liquid? -i asked you to drink, please. Viscous fluid. It's a condiment, though.

What?

It's a condiment. Right.

It's a hybrid.

It would be in the condiment aisle, no?

Put it on the pole as well, JuJu. Is honey a condiment? No. Is it a condiment.

Shit you dip shit in?

That's a dip.

That's Miriam Webster right there.

That is great.

It was a transition from liquid to condiment.

That's what got me on that one.

If I can pour.

It on something and eat it or dip something in it, it's a.

Condiment, folks. Damn right. Honey never goes bad, by the way. Right, that's not true. No, you could eat that cup of honey a hundred years from now, and it would still be delicious.

Put it on the pole, please.

Unless it's crystallized.

It is considered a condiment then. Thank you.

Put it on the.

Pole, please. For best quality store honey up to twelve months.

They're lying. They're forced to say that. Who? There's expiration dates. Right. The government forces you to put an expiration date on something. Honey, oil, there's certain things that just last forever.

Big honey.

Just dying to learn what we're putting on the pole here.

Thank you, Mike. I appreciate your effort there. Is Honey just shit you dip shit in?

At Levitard show. No, that's the definition of a condiment in.

Not Honey. Okay.

Mispoke, but they froze the kicker.

Yes, you guys did freeze the kicker. There, the video is up now. Please put it up of Jeremy just swelling non-stop, Honey. That's great. Is he jaundist? What is the most disgusting thing anyone like that has had to endure on the show? Billy was hospitalized for eating an onion, and Pablo Torre had to eat pickles pig's feet.

Mike Ryan-The pig's feet is the worst. Nothing is worse than Mike Ryan buying off of Amazon. Com, pickles pig's feet, whose color was described in that way where there's like a number. It was like red number 786, and I had to eat it.

Put it on the pole, please, as well, JuJu. What is more disgusting to eat, pickles, pigs feet, or tripe with hair on it? Because Mike Ryan ate tripe with hair on it, and we have consumed no shortage of disgusting things. I don't think Honey is going to end up qualifying in order to win this particular contest. Pablo, I wanted to talk to you about a number of things, though, one of them, the Ohtani contract. What's most interesting about everything happening there to you? I don't even understand how that business and its union can allow that much deferred money for Ohtani to bet on America and the American economy in a way that he is allowing so much deferred money that he is hoping that baseball and ballies and the economy do not collapse. He is trusting the American economy with those deferments.

He's hoping that Dodge are good for it.

Yes, nobody has more faith in the... No one is longer on the human race than Shohay O'Tani at this point. He's like, We'll be good in 10 to 15 to 20 years, right? Just pay me then. What makes me laugh about this, though, is how much it makes David Samson angry, because, of course, this is a thing that really only the Dodgers can get away with, because the Dodgers, in all likelihood, are, in fact, good for it. And so O'Tani is like, I don't really need the money right now. The Dodgers are like, We need the money right now. And so it reminds me why it is that sports and leagues don't actually like having super-rich people be new owners because it makes all of the other owners with less money look terrible, and they have competitive disadvantages. And it reminds me of why is Jeff Bezos not an owner of an NFL team? Why is Matt Isbia, mortgage lender, the owner of the Suns? It's because it feels like that owner is a guy who's a lot like the majority of owners, who is a very, very rich man, but not Los Angeles, Dodgers, $700 million rich.

Explain the Bezos thing to people, because I don't think they've considered the idea that other owners would be threatened by someone like him. I know that the basketball owners are threatened by Ballmer, because when it comes to being in that club, there are guys who are a lot richer than the other guys, and the guys who are not as rich, and it's almost always guys, they feel the threat and the insecurity in that.

Yeah, I think it's a parallel dynamic with the NFL, and I'm sure there are other complicating factors with the NFL specifically via various financial structures. But the point is, if you are competing in the NFL, and a lot of these are inherited assets, do you want to compete against the richest man in the world? It's a really fun thing for the NFL to hypothetically proclaim, Look who is in our team now. Look who's in the most exclusive club in America now. But if you're actually any of these other teams, you don't want to go up against Bezos? No, you don't want to make your life harder because the guy you're competing with is now a zillion times.

Richer than you. Well, this is one of the things I find interesting about how it is they've suppressed prices throughout sports, where we all realize, Well, wait a minute. If they can afford 700 million, what can't they afford? But by having a salary cap in football and not having one in baseball, you end up with Ohtani getting twice as much as Patrick Mahons. Whereas if Patrick Mahons were allowed to compete against Jerry Jones and anybody just saying, We need a quarterback, and there is no salary cap. Patrick Mohomes would be earning a good deal more than Ohtani because he's worth a good deal more than Ohtani because football is worth a good deal more than baseball.

Yeah, the analog here is what have been trying to do. The saints have been pushing back and back and back all the payments they have. They're trying to, again, pay guys in the present, pay for them in the future more than the present. And the reality is that the States are not in a good place because of the cap. And in the scenario you described, Dan, and this is the parallel to what would LeBron James make without a max contract, without a salary cap? Probably $100 million a year. O'tanya is showing that this is, in fact, what the wealthiest would pay if you left them alone to their own devices. And it is pretty much everything.

Pablo, LeBron would make a lot more than $100 million a year. Messi is making almost what O'Tany does in half of the amount of time. When there is no salary cap, and rich people and Saudi oil is involved, it would be very- That's the other thing. Lebron would get a billion dollars. He would easily make a billion dollars. And the idea that Patrick my homes is cheap compared to Ohtani is pretty silly given that football's owners are a good deal richer than baseball's owners.

$450 million over 10 years from the Holmes. That was the previous North American record. Ohtani now is like, Yeah, I'll take a couple mil on the front end, but just give me everything else.

But Dan is right. I mean, Patrick Mahom is in a free market with no salary cap, he'd get a billion dollars from Jerry Jones. He would.

The desperation is real. That much is true.

Pablo, what else did you find interesting about the O'Tanya contract?

Well, I liked that we should just basically contract the Angels at this point. That was my big takeaway. It's like, Oh, wait. So he doesn't want to leave Los Angeles. He had a team with plenty of talent on it with Mike Trout. And the Dodgers are just coming along and saying, You know what? It doesn't seem like you guys were ever in the conversation. I laugh at the ways in which other teams thought they were in the game. The Angels Dan might not even be the funniest one. Of course, it was the Blue Jays. The fact that Robert Herjavec or whatever walked off of a private jet that everyone... Everyone got turned into Q-anon, by the way. That's what I laugh at the most over the weekend. It's the idea that everybody in sports media turned into Q-Anon, tracking private jets, traffic and rumors. Oh, wait, there's a sushi restaurant with 50 Japanese people renting it? That's O-Tani. I was like, All right, I guess. And then you had to follow up, call. I was like, No, that was someone's birthday party or something. Or there wasn't even a two-seat restaurant that could afford to have 50 Japanese people at it.

And then it was, this private jet arrives from Southern California in Toronto, and off over the plane, steps one of the Shark Tank guys, Robert Herjavec. It was Haraldo's Vault, but sports. It was incredible.

Lucy, do you know what Haraldo's Vault is? Because it's so far in our past. No, I've never heard of that. Go ahead and explain, Pablo, to Lucy what Gerardo's vault is. Jeremy doesn't know either.

I don't know if I'm the most qualified person with Greg Cody sitting right there to explain.

Haraldo to people. Haraldo Rivera on live national television opened a safe of some sort said to be Al Capone's, and they teased it for hours. And when they opened the safe, there was nothing in it. There was not even a Shark Tank member.

Incredible work by the YouTube, DraftKings Network video team showing a mustachee old Haraldo in front of a big vault with nothing in it. That's right. Literally nothing.

So good, though.

What a mustache. It was a great television. Dragged it on for days. It was so great. Great television. The mustache, great television. The workers with mustache is great. Hardness. Great television. There was nothing in the vault, and America was to allude to its televisions. What am I to do with the following fact that is absolutely true? The Angels will pay Anthony Reindone $19 million more next season than the Dodgers will pay Show-hay O'Tany. Oh, that's stakes.

What's amazing? There was that joke. I'm sure you guys saw it over Twitter or whatever it is we're calling it now, where it was like, the Oakland Athletics are offering to pay Show-hay O'Tany $1 for 700 million years. And that is basically what the Dodgers are doing. The Dodgers figured out how to actually do that. So yes, everybody else... The reason why Samson is mad, of course, is I think a couple of reasons if I can psychoanalyze him from afar. Number one, he's mad he didn't think of this. Number two, he's imagining if he was running the Angels, for instance, or let alone the Marlins. And he's like, I can't compete with this. What am I supposed to do? So he's very mad about that. And third, I think there is the self-loathing of just like, Oh, my God. I can get away with paying someone nothing for so long effectively? And who knows what happens later? It's a David Samson dream, except it's a nightmare because he can't actually profit from it.

Forgive me. I got the stat wrong. Rendon is not being paid 19 million more than Ohtani next season. He is being paid times more than Ohtani next season. So he's making $38 million next season. What?

And he will be watched by 19 people in the process of doings.

Less than 30 seconds, Pablo Torre finds out what are we have on it. What are we to expect?

Yes, today's episode is very different from any episode we've done. I'm going to say some words that will make Stugartz, I think, both intrigued and also wonder, really, he's going to try to do this. We did an episode about Israel. We did an episode about the Middle East and war and hostages, and we did real reporting, and we figured out a way to tell this as a sports story in a way that helps explain the right-wing politics of Israel and also helps explain the hostage crisis in a way that actually foreshadows where this might be going next. There are two rival teams. One of them is the preferred team of the administration, the right-wing government in Israel. The other one is the opposite, their rival enemy. And that is the team of one of the hostages who was taken. It's fascinating. Amos Barshad at the lever reported it for us. I'm really proud of it. It's 42 minutes. Even if you like poop jokes, even if you like laughing at Jeremy Teche, being dressed as a fetishistic Winnie the Pooh, I think you should find time in your day for this. I think it's an important story in a legitimate way.

I am glad, actually, that we're talking about it.

Thank you, Pablo.

Thank you, guys.