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This is The Dan Levator Show with the Stu Guts podcast.

It always makes the show better when someone is in costume. Peter Pan is with us today, and.

It'S a sad, sad Pedro Pompobi.

He'S.

A hero for our people, but I.

Don'T think of him as sad. He came in here tony came in here today, and there's a problem because the costume in the back, it sags. It is not flattering to his ass. Peter Pan is feeling self conscious about the fact that he doesn't look as.

He looks great in that costume. I totally looks really strong. He looks like a wrestler. Almost like a bad character wrestler, but a good in shape wrestler. I offered to wear it. I'm glad I didn't, because I wouldn't have filled it out that way.

I also didn't pick this. This was assigned to me, and then all of a sudden, the costume was handed to me.

There's funny things that's going on, if I'm going to be perfectly honest, with what's going on with the grid of death punishment, because I feel like someone, I don't know who it is, is throwing his weight around, saying, we need to do certain things. Because they came up to me and they're like, so we wanted to out your alpha for the Takashi 69 punishment. I go, I did not select that punishment. I will not be wearing that. Chris whittingham selected that punishment. The fact that he quit has nothing to do with me. I didn't do that. I'm not wearing that costume. Thank you very much. And by the way, I just, like, also say there was funny business. I won the costume contest yesterday, and they didn't want to give it to me.

That's right. Let's bring in David Sampson here, because I don't know what to do about yesterday. I remained, 24 hours later, embarrassed by the general indifference of everyone at our company who works on camera except for Lucy. Lucy is exempted. And Jessica, by the way, would have been I don't know why she wasn't here yesterday. I know she would have been thrilled. Not a surprise to me, David, that the new people around here wore costumes, and the other people have grown comfortable with making money from a video product that should be made better by wearing costumes that nobody but the new people around here wore anything, and everyone else was lazy. What do I do about that?

I did not see any sort of memo that required costumes.

Thank you.

There was in the slack a note that said there was a costume competition in the slack.

Right.

But was it required?

No.

That seems pretty elective to me, Dan.

Me, too. That is not elective.

You need a memo for Halloween.

Honest to God, I didn't know. I reported to Cynthia.

If we did, we'd all be in trouble because oh, that kitchen's always dirty.

I have a solution, Dan. We need an actual chart.

We have one's.

My boss sort of have a web yeah, we kind of have an.org chart. Kind of.

It would be amazing if people knew exactly who they reported to and when a memo was sent by your boss saying, hey, come in costume. It's not a question, it's a requirement. I think you would have gotten better participation.

But how about the idea that we have a lot of room for growth in video and DraftKings is paying us a lot of money to look good on camera? And I saw what the shows the other shows that we're trying did on camera yesterday, and we were the worst. There was no one in the country doing a national show. No. There was no one doing.

A headband and oversized.

So much of a better bracket.

Macho man. How wacky. Yes. Gojo was bad. His father I did. His father was worse.

I need to check with Cynthia. I can sue.

I thought the fork and the road shirt was really the highlight.

You can Mike.

You're doing a different show than the rest of us.

Well, I was talking to Mike.

David, are you a Halloween guy? Did you dress up?

No, I'm a candy guy, not a costume.

Really?

I dressed up in a blazer and a shirt and I did some MLB analysis and I ate a lot of candy, so it was just like a normal Tuesday.

David, I do want to talk World Series, but one bit of World Series content that I saw go viral was your coverage for CBS. And I think you got lucky in that no one recognized your voice outside of fans of the show. Are you aware that you went viral over the last few days?

No, this is the what exactly what did I do?

So it's a very short clip. Typically, there's a little bit more context applied to these things, but you're talking about the Diamondbacks and contextually. You're talking about the last World Series that they won, and you said are.

You talking about 911?

Yeah.

You said, hopefully history repeats itself for the Diamondbacks, not the 911 part. And that went kind of viral. Your name wasn't attached to it, though, so I guess you're doing it fairly anonymously.

But why is that a big deal? If you're the Diamondbacks, you want history to repeat. And that was an amazing win they had in 2001 when everybody thought that New York should win and it would have been a perfect story for them to win that particular World Series. People may remember the George Bush first pitch, et cetera, and the way the Yankees walked off BK. Kim. Marlins fans may remember that name. One of the nicest guys we ever had. I don't know if you guys remember who that is.

Not only do I remember it, I remember feeling terribly bad for him in that World Series because he fell into the arms of his first baseman after giving a home run up right on the middle of the field, he gave.

Up in two successive days. No able I knew him after and he was able to deal with it, but it's something that will be with him. It's sort of like Buckner, but at the end of the day, the Diamondbacks came back and walked off the Yankees with another former Marlin, Luis Gonzalez and Craig Counsel, two Marlins involved in that play. And guess what? That was an amazing moment. So I thought the Diamondbacks would want history to repeat itself from one and in the moment, while I was live on the air for CBS, I thought, well, I don't want that to be out there as a statement that I want history to repeat itself from 2001. So I said, but not the 911.

But you made it worse. I don't think people would have assumed that what you no one would have been knowing that you made it worse. You wouldn't have gone viral or gotten into trouble at all if you had said, hopefully history repeats itself, and just not reminded anybody about any he's right, though.

No one wants the other part to repeat correct. So he wasn't wrong in that, but.

There was no reason to bring it up, is the point.

So one of my biggest issues on and off the court is that I play everything out in my head and I assume that everyone is looking at things and thinking about things the same way I am. And it didn't pass my brain test when I said, I hope history repeats itself. So that's why I felt I needed to clarify. You're right.

Do you feel when you're talking all the time? Because for those of you who want something before we start for the day, nothing Personal goes live at 08:00 A.m.. Also, Mike Golick and his father doing things on the Draft King network that are worth watching because they're getting very good at the chemistry between those two.

Mike Golick and his son, Mike Vaughn.

Mike Golick Jr. And his father.

Well said.

Thank you.

Dan, could you not text me between eight and 845 anymore? Can we make that a rule?

No. Regardless, when you're talking for 50 straight minutes, you're spending the entire time thinking that every sentence that you're saying is going to land somewhere in a way that you have to defend yourself from the possible outcome before the next sentence.

Well, no, I've gone through that entire calculus already, and once in a while something slips through. But generally my brain is ahead of my mouth even when I'm doing the show for 45 minutes straight every morning. And when your brain's ahead of your mouth, you're going to be okay. But once in a while, something gets a little wacky and you say something and then you think to yourself, wow, my brain didn't go through all the possibilities of how that could be interpreted. And all that happened during that clip.

On CBS, not just being bothered by no one around here treating Halloween seriously. I was also, and have been bothered by the way that we're covering the World Series and the playoffs in general around here, because the only coverage our show has done is that nobody cares about the World Series. That is the beginning and the end of all the coverage that has happened around here. Your take on how lowly rated this World Series is is what?

Sorry, I was distracted because Chris Cody is now texting me, maybe doesn't know there's live shows at nine. So my take is this the ratings don't really matter too much to the broadcasters or to the league, but we have to do press releases because everyone else seems to think that ratings is the measurement. The real measurement is the revenue that you get from the networks and the value of those deals. And those deals are tremendously profitable to the teams. However, you don't like to lose out to football, which is why you try to not schedule games against football, because it's just embarrassing. But it really doesn't factor into the amount of money that gets paid into baseball. So it's not as big a deal as you think. Ratings are down everywhere because there's just more things to do, more things to watch.

But is it an indicator that people don't actually care about the World Series, that this is a bad World Series for the average fan of sports, not the average fan of baseball?

Yeah, because you're going to have that until game six or game seven. And that's why you root for a long series. Because then when you don't have the New York teams or the Boston or La. Or Atlanta involved in a World Series, you need it to go long. Because once it goes long, then people will watch, even if they don't care about either of the teams and if they care about one of the teams, like in the New York Florida World Series, people are tuning in to watch that because all you need is one. And this World Series did not have any. And that's been the problem.

David, if you were running the Mets, you mentioned Craig Council before. He's interested in that job. I think he's a great manager. I do. I think he's a good manager. Who would you hire as the next Mets manager?

I think they already have a deal with Craig Council. He's interviewing with Cleveland as a way to get leverage and to get as much money as he can out of Steve Cohn. He got it out there that the Astros would be interested in him, which is great. You want to be sought after by different networks and different people so you can get as much money as you can from the person you end up being with. And it's the same that goes for managers. They want to be sought after. So Steve Cohn gives them four years at $7 million a year. And the reason why it's so important is that managers have been getting paid less recently because GMs are getting more now. It's totally switched from what it used to be, but Craig Council wants to reverse that trend.

Would that be your hire, though?

I think that was the understanding when David Stearns was hired as president of baseball operations that Craig Council and David were a package deal.

On the mound tonight are two former Marlins, yvaldi and Zach Allen. Zach Allen was in the Marlins farm system involved in that chisholm trade. I'm curious how you're going to experience tonight and is Seeger, the MVP.

Seeger will be the MVP of the World Series if the Rangers win. And for people who have not watched this series, the Texas Rangers, it's a fun series to watch. That's what I've enjoyed. And there's a guy right now, his name is Kettle Marte. It's a marte parte. He has a 20 game hitting streak in the postseason. The number of players to have ever done that in history, zero. You have a guy in the mound, Nathan Avaldi, the former marlin. He's one of the best postseason pitchers of all time, and he's pitching tonight. Zach Gallon. We got him for ozuna. That wasn't me. That was Mike Hill who did that deal after I was gone. Zach Gallon's really good too, so it's a game worth watching. And I think the Series will continue because baseball needs it to continue. You cannot start the Otani sweepstakes tomorrow. You've got to have more games in the World Series.

That Ozuna trade before we get back to the World Series. But just an aside, one of the best trades in Marlins history, where you get Sandy Alcantara and you get Zach Gallin and you get other prospects. It didn't pan out, but you got a ton for Marcelo Zuna.

That was a great trade by Mike Hill. Doing that, getting Ozuna out and getting those guys in phenomenal. And trading Gallon for Jazz was not a bad trade. That's a good trade for both teams. When you've got strength and pitching, you move it along to get position players. Don Lebotard oh, I like firing people, so I take the opportunity to fire whenever I possibly can because I can use it as a learning experience for them and try to help them out and try to point out what they did wrong. But in this case, the employee was enough levels below where I was that I did not do the firing, but I had it done within moments of discovery.

I like firing people. It's just absurd. It's absurd.

Stu Guts I'm talking about people who I fire, who deserve it, who have done something that actively requires me to fire them. It is my unadulterated pleasure to do so.

This is The Dan Levatar Show with the stu guts. I'm wondering, David, how you feel about this? Because the more this postseason goes on, the more we see people that just seem kind of like average players or just run of the mill players. Like not to say Kyle Schwaber is an average player, but Kyle Schwarber, you see that he passes Reggie Jackson in career postseason home runs. Then you see something like Corey Seeger last night they put up a stat. 77 games for him, 77 games for Reggie Jackson, 19 home runs for him, 18 home runs for Reggie Jackson's, 48 RBI each. Reggie October was viewed as like this postseason legend and now you have guys this postseason that everyone's just catching up to what he did. So there's great postseason performances going on that we're just missing out on and thinking Reggie Jackson was so much better than them.

Before you answer that, David, would you have fined me for calling him Reggie October? I like Reggie October better than Mr. October. I'm just yes, I would. Just making sure.

I have never heard anyone say Reggie October.

I like, if he had legally changed his name to Reggie October, everyone would have been fine with it.

We should do a top five list. But I can only think of one of the greatest name changes of all time and it starts and stops with World Be Free.

I like Mark Super. Duper. Changing his name to super.

What did run our test? Didn't run our test. Change his name.

Meta world peace.

Good one.

Chad o chosen also.

And Leo Nunez, I believe.

What was Billy's question?

I don't know.

It's a good point he's making about Derek November.

I'm going to answer that.

Reggie October is overrated, basically is what we're getting down to.

You have to remember that there's more rounds of playoffs. So when you're seen, you can't compare now to back. Then you would go right to the LCS, sometimes right to the Pen, right to the World Series. Now you can have Wild Card, then Division Series, then LCS, then World Series. So you have way more at bats and more opportunities to hit home runs. So what Kyle Schwarver did, it's amazing the number of home runs he hits from the left side. That's the record you're referring to. But you should try to look at what the number of games are, number of at bats that it took to accomplish what these guys are accomplishing.

Well, Corey Seeger is the exact same number of games, 77 games, both of them. And he has the exact stats. He has one more home run and same RBI. So it's more to note that what is being done now in present day by seemingly average guys, not that Corey Seeger is average, but just guys that we don't view as legendary and necessary. Hall of Famers moving forward are putting up great performances in the postseason. People are just missing out on it because they're not watching as much.

Do you not view corey seeger as a superstar. He got $325,000,000 and he's actually been worth it. He won the MVP in 20 for the Dodgers and he could win the MVP in 23 with the Rangers. That's getting into pretty historic territory.

Yeah, but I don't think that in the grand scheme of things he's going to be remembered as Reggie Jackson was.

It'S just different times. I think there's more people younger in the demographic we're looking for who know Corey Seager than know Reggie Jackson.

Mike Ryan whispered in my ear because he couldn't believe what you said. Nathan Iovaldi is one of the best postseason pitchers of all time. Ridiculous eight and three with an Era of 3.30 with 77 strikeouts in his postseason career, 16 starts. Does that indeed make him I mean.

That'S not sub three. I was taking David for what he said on surface value, but those stats don't seem like greatest postseason pitcher conversation.

I think when I said one of the greatest, not the greatest, I mean.

You got to be sub three to.

Enter the one of the 50 greatest.

Exactly.

I didn't say the number.

Well but I don't think anybody is saying Nathan Hivaldi has been good postseason, but I don't think anyone thinks of him as one of the greatest postseason pitchers of all time.

Avaldi is one of the top 100.

Postseason pitchers of all time.

He doesn't make the staff.

He doesn't make the all postseason you.

Could have just said he's one of the postseason pitchers of all time.

Billy, do you realize that when you say Reggie Jackson, the reason Reggie Jackson gets to be Reggie October is because there were only three networks and all of America was gathered around the television to watch him hit a third home run off of Charlie Hoff?

Well, don't get me started on Babe Ruth, because the only reason Babe Ruth is this legend is because no one actually saw him play. Don't get me started on him.

Wait a second. We glossed over something. David, you said Major League Baseball needs more games. Major League Baseball needs a lot of things. They don't always get them. Are you suggesting some sort of fixes in here?

It's not a fix, and we've covered that stu. I think that it's very clear what they want. You don't want this series to end in five, because if you get to a 6th game, you get news on the off day, which is Thursday, and then you get more news Friday, and that gets you into the weekend. So I think it's very important for the Diamondbacks to win tonight. And I think that you will see the umpiring has been inconsistent. There's no question about it. It has been, in some cases, dreadful. The home plate ball strike calls. So I think that it's not out of the question that baseball and umpires and the teams everyone knows what you'd prefer. Does it always happen that way? No, there's series that end in five. If Seager and Simeon continue to hit the way they're hitting and they have a five run second inning and a five run third inning, there's nothing anyone can do. And the Series is going to end tonight. I just don't think it will. I think the Diamondbacks, in fact, will win tonight.

You've generally been pro all these changes that baseball has made, but the Diamondbacks, while I was paying attention to the sport over the summer and I think you could objectively call them not a great team they slither into the playoffs because a lot of help because of a drop ball in the outfield by the Chicago Cubs. They can win tonight and they've been hard to kill them this postseason. What I'm getting at is this would potentially be if they come back in this Series and win, it would be regarded as the worst World Series champion of all time and you would squarely have the playoff expansion to blame. How is this being reacted to by some of the guardians and gatekeepers of the game, the Bob Cassises of the world?

Well, Bob Casas, that's an example of a total traditionalist. But remember when the Cardinals won the World Series and they had an 84 win season with Pooholes, maybe 2006, somewhere in that range? Were you feeling that same way?

No.

But the playoffs have changed since then, haven't they?

Yes, they've expanded, which has been great for the sport because it keeps more cities in it longer. That's the purpose of expanded playoffs, is to make it so that people are going to games. And attendance was up significantly this year as an industry. And I don't want to sound like I'm pimping for baseball, but I will say the rule changes have helped the game. Times are down. The games are more interesting. Arizona plays a fun kind of game where they're stealing bases. They put the game in motion, which is fun to watch. Calling them the worst World Series champion. I guess somebody there's 123 World Series champions, someone's got to be the worst team. If you're saying it's them, I guess we could evaluate that. But, hey, a ring is a ring. I don't think that Arizona getting second ring before Tampa has one or Colorado has one. In terms of some expansion teams and matching Florida's two. I don't think that they will be worried that you think they're the worst champion.

I don't think they're the worst. I'm just saying in terms of record and because of an expanded playoff, they would not be in in previous incarnations of the MLB playoffs. I'm saying how people view them. I don't care enough to have that kind of opinion about the Arizona Diamondbacks.

Well, the Diamondbacks, though, and Dave, sorry to cut you off, they early in the summer were neck and neck with the Braves for the best record in baseball in the National League. They were hot. And then they hit a very cold stretch, fell out of it, 16 and.

34 over a stretch.

Yeah, they had a very cold stretch. But if you do that in terms of playoff expansion and you wouldn't be in in former incarnations, then the Marlins would have zero World Series. They'd have zero playoff appearances. If you go back to the original, there's two teams that make it to the postseason in each league, and then they compete against each other and then they go to the World Series. So as the game expands and the playoffs expand, you're going to get more and more things. And it's easy every year. The Phillies wouldn't have been the National League champions last year either had there not been playoff expansion. So every time the playoff expands, you're going to find an outlier team that ends up making it to the World Series and potentially winning. But that doesn't necessarily mean that they shouldn't be there. They're not deserving. They did what they had to by the rules of the game at the time.

David seems to agree, even though he has been silenced by you. You've left him speechless by the way that you laid that out. He has no rebuttals. Let's move on to other subjects. The general manager and the coach overnight of the Raiders have been let go. Josh McDaniels was signed for four more years. That seems like wild mismanagement. That group of people gave Jimmy Garoppolo $72 million. What were your thoughts of how poorly handled that was? And it's not even the worst football story of the day in terms of mismanagement. ESPN just released a story about how toxic the work environment is with the Arizona Cardinals.

Well, that's been going on with Bidwell. That's a major problem they have there. I just would ask what took till 10:00 local time to fire the coach and GM? And then you waited an hour to release a statement of who the interim would be. And then you waited another hour to release a third statement of who the interim GM would be. All the guys I fired, we had a replacement like that. We would do the firing and the hiring same moment. We once had a manager waiting in the wings and come right out after we did our firing press conference. That was my favorite. When they can pass right there one guy's out, one guy's in what's Mark Davis doing. The trade deadline was 04:00 p.m., and it took 6 hours to say, oh, I guess we got to play Kate Adams and make a firing here. I was not happy with the time of day.

Do you realize how happy you sounded about firing, about firing a manager and having him walk past the new manager?

It was coordinated. It was like a ballet, but an.

Evil one, a one that if you don't care about people and enjoy firing.

People, it's not something that should bring a smile to your face.

The family of the guy who's hired you think Antonio Pierce's family isn't happy that McDaniels got canned? I happen to disagree. Freddie's family was plenty happy.

That's not what we were talking about. We were just talking about your joy at firing somebody and having someone waiting in the wings to replace him.

Would you rather be me or you, Dan, who's never willing to fire anybody and will just take lack of performance as an okay given and maybe it'll change. Which would you rather have?

Well, clearly the one I'd rather have is the company that I have because it's the thing that I've chosen and you're no longer working in baseball doing it. That.

David, how many people have you fired? How many people?

I don't know. In France, there's a thing when you smoke cigarettes hey, how many cigarettes do you smoke a day? And they say, we do not count what we love.

I heard in France there's lots of bedbugs right now, too. Not related.

But I just liked how pissed David was about the time of day. Did you guys catch that? Yeah, I was not happy about the time of day.

Yeah, late at night grew it in different circumstance. But I believe that that also happened at an OD time. It turns out that Mark Davis is a bit OD.

Let's review some movies here. What do you got for us today?

In the next 25 seconds, I need to review the last Nicolas Cage movie, and I need to understand what's happening. It's called the retirement plan. Nicolas Cage plays this past hitman, or mob guy who's in the Cayman Islands, and then Ashley Green comes as his long lost daughter, who he's never seen, and all of a sudden, he's got to save her from being killed or he's going to be killed. And it is the most ridiculous plot, the most ridiculous movie, and I felt so sorry for Nicolas Cage. Pass on it. Don't watch it. Nine, eight it's a joke. Five, four pass.

I videoed that trailer and sent it to all my friends.

Don Lebotard.

We got afrini hardaway.

Who was Afrini Hardaway?

I was trying to read fast. Ud was on the team. Luke Jackson. Bobby Jones.

The matrix.

Shaw, marion Stugats zoe shaq Smush Parker.

Chris Quinn.

Wait a minute.

D Wade.

Wait a minute.

Jason Williams. They're all right. I mean, stacked roster.

This is the Don Levitar show with the stugats.

I have just sent our video team. We will have it momentarily. Stu gottz. I've just sent them the retirement plan trailer for Nicolas Cage. Nicolas Cage, I believe he has to, more than anyone in Hollywood, correct any star. And I think he's still a list. He has to be still a list, even though he makes a lot of stinkers. No one makes half as many movies as he like. If you had to guess at the.

End, bruce Willis was kind of being forced out there. To do a bunch while he still could.

Yep, you are correct on that. They were abusing Bruce Willis in a deteriorating mental state.

Allegedly.

Well, I mean, it was just obvious. There were reports that they were feeding him his lines through an earpiece because he was having trouble. He was having mental issues.

Now, Mel Gibson appears to be in a lot of movies. He really does. He's in every movie.

Well, again, these are people who were getting a lot of work. I don't know. Nicolas Cage's spending habits are famously crazed. And also there were tax issues as well. So he has to make a certain number of movies just to pay for all the skulls that he has from pirates and stuff.

To be clear, Bruce Willis is suffering from a type of dementia that made it very difficult to process words.

Correct. Sorry, I should have been more gentle there. But it did seem there were reports that people were sort of milking what was left. The reason that you have so many movies where he's either not standing or holding a gun, like he's being the.

Other side of the coin, was bruce Willis also knew that he wanted to leave more for his family, too. And while not the roles he used to do, took these for the money.

Nicolas Cage has first ballot hall of Famer in this respect. And we will get to that trailer in a second. But before we do so, Tony is claiming, and I don't Peter Pan over there, Pedro Bang sad pedro Bang is claiming that he has a nominee for the best commercial jingle ever.

We need a car truck.

So, Dan, this came about because last night was Halloween. Obviously, I was going trick or treating with the kiddos, and every house that know a good display also has scary theme Halloween music. And a staple to every scary Halloween music is Ghostbusters. So as I hear the rift, all of a sudden my brain doesn't listen ghostbusters. It hears truck. OVAN.

Really? Maroon. You've watched so much local you've watched so much local sports that you believe the greatest commercial jingle of all time is simply a stolen song. That is something that represents the laziest kind of music. Ever get away with this?

We need a call.

I'm with Tony on this, not on how great it is. How did they get away with this?

Well, the question that campaign also sneaky had like, another level of confusion to it where Dan Marino was in all the commercials. So then it was really confusing because it's like Ghostbusters, Marooni Marino, is it the same name? Is it a different thing? And at that time, every time there's a call to the bullpen, the song.

Was playing the Marooni call to the pen.

It was a crazy time not to.

Go all music nerd on you, but the whole big deal about the original Ghostbusters song was Huey Lewis sued Ray Parker because he felt like the song was stolen from I Want a New Drug.

Wow.

How did he get away with that?

Ray Parker Jr. All of it.

Dan Marino.

Dan.

They don't know.

So it's a car dealership that used to be Marooni, now Auto Nation. Now I don't know if it's something else or not.

PNK.

Yeah, right. Drive pink. So it was that, and for whatever reason, they just had a commercial jingle on local Radio 24/7. They would just play banana.

I will continue to ask the question publicly until someone gets me an answer. I don't think I can just have a commercial now on local television where I steal a famous song and make it something that sells my shit. I don't think that's allowed. I think you're right. But car dealerships in Miami have a whole undercurrent of they had to pay licensing guys.

They didn't have to rape Parker to.

Then pay Parker so he could pay. Speaking of cars, Lucy was almost hit by one.

Again, like a weird tone to take.

This is that news?

This is speaking of cars.

Who are you going to call?

We need a car.

I was there with you, Tony.

Wait on you too.

Why does this keep happening to you, Lucy?

I don't because it's not me.

Why are you looking both ways?

I look both ways.

Don't victim.

I had the little walk sign. I had the right of way.

That means nothing.

Though, in fairness, I learned that I.

Blow through that all the time.

Don't do that. You're going to kill me one day. I was just going on my little walk. I was so happy because it wasn't 1000 degrees out. I could go for my walk. I have the right of way. So I'm going, I have the little walk guy and someone comes and they're turning left and they see me, and instead of stopping, they speed up. They're like, yeah, we're going to do it. And he almost hits me. And I go like this because I feel like my life matters a little bit and he shouldn't have hit me. And he just goes he shrugs. He's like, Sorry, didn't hit you. Got so close. So close.

What kind of car?

It was not nice truck.

OVAN.

If you get hit by a car and that's the end. Not to bring this to a morbid place, but do you guys have a selected car that you'd want to be the one to finish you off?

What?

I'm just curious.

Not an autonomous vehicle.

Yeah, that's how I want to go.

If it was a car with, like, an Alabama bumper sticker, I'd be like, yeah, that fits.

I want a truck. I do. Or van.

Or van.

I want a truck, though, because I want to know that I'm dead. That's it. No, and quickly. I want to go and I want to go quickly.

You want no question.

Yeah, just flatten me.

I must got hit by those little trolley busses.

Oh, that's an embarrassing way to go.

That would have just no, I think because I would have just been dead.

Yeah, but killed by a trolley driverless.

He gets a big corporation posthumously leave. It a little nest egg, Bruce Willis style.

I think Billy might have this right. It's not necessarily the embarrassment of just dying and getting stuck in the visuals of a trolley, but those move so slowly that the Last judgment made on you before the final, final judgment is, man, that person didn't move very quickly. You have hours to get out of the way. Can't be a lot of trolley death.

No, but that's like train deaths. It's on a track. Like, come on. That's the worst way to go.

Yeah.

Wait, what happened?

Lucy when I almost got hit by the trolley bus a few weeks ago, or probably a couple of months ago, that thing was going very fast. That was the problem, because it wasn't, like, slowing down for the turn. And once again, I had the right of way and it kept going. Yes, I do.

No, you don't. No, not in this you do not.

Have the right of way.

No, but I don't even know what that means.

You have every right in Florida except the right of way, apparently.

As a pedestrian, I just don't know how I'm supposed to get around because I can't drive because everyone's too aggressive, and it makes me scared. And I can't walk because I'm afraid I'm going to get hit by a car.

I shouldn't walk anywhere here. That's why it's so hot. It's really a safety thing. Like, you think the heat is bad for your health, but it's really saving lives, the heat, because it's preventing people from getting hit by cars. If you choose a car, a Chrysler Neon, if you get killed by a Chrysler Neon, that's bad.

No, you want a city vehicle, and you want your family to be able to win that settlement money. And Mike is right. It's all about the nest egg.

Parasail is how you should get from place to place.

Watch out for sperm whales.

Florida not just sperm whales. I had a friend of a friend actually got hit with a fisherman's hook while parasailing the other day. In his face. It's one of the most horrific the other day?

Sorry, by the way.

Yeah, it wasn't very long ago. And the pictures on his face, can you imagine? The whole thing sounded totally horrifying to me. Because he got dragged underwater by a fishing hook. Whoa. Hold on a second.

Your friend was parasailing in the air. Someone hooked him.

Friend of a friend, reeled him in.

And then he went underwater.

Starting to.

Did the guy, like, hold him up after he dragged him onto the boat and take a picture.

Hold on, I'm going to get the pipe.

Or the friend of the friend.

I'm going to pictures I'm going to find.

If you catch a human when you're fishing, do you toss them back into the ocean or just let them stay on land? You got to measure them first.

Taco night.

Yeah, you got to measure them first.

I have a nominee for a better jingle, and everyone knows the Chili's Baby back ribs. But there's a video that's circulating the web right now of the raw recording of it, and it's just as good as you remember. Even better.

I want my baby back. Baby Bag. Baby Bag. Baby Bag. Baby Bag. Baby Bag I want my baby back chili baby Back Real I want my baby chili's baby back real barbecue Soul I want my baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back, baby Bag I want my baby back chili Baby Back Real I Want My Baby chili's Baby Back Real I Want My.

Baby Back real believe all those guys were black. Slightly better. Slightly better than the Marooni jingle.

Okay, I will. Capitulate.

We need a well. Come on.

All right, I want all of you now to look at the screens here so that you can see how terrible this movie is with Nicolas Cage. This is the incentive trailer to watch it. This is everyone in America. Gather around your devices. You want to watch Nicolas Cage's latest? Here he is in the retirement plan. I haven't seen my daughter, and now her daughter shows up at my front doorstep without a woman.

I think my parents are in some kind of trouble.

Oh, Ashley's in trouble. What is it this time?

Get on that flight and do not come back without my hard drive.

Purpose for your visit?

Pleasure.

Lay low for a few minutes. Welcome to the island. I'm losing my oh, no, no.

Boom.

Kills him. I just got out of here with my life.

Did you shoot me?

I guarantee you there's more men that are already coming.

They will not stop until we are all dead.

Come on, Ashley.

Ashley, don't make this.

Who are you?

The old guy, he keeps killing everybody.

Everybody's. Who is this guy?

My dad's an assassin, isn't he?

Yeah, your dad's totally an assassin, Grandpa. Here, have some, sweetheart.

I am so there.

That looks awesome.

Yeah, that looks awesome. You put a flare in someone's mouth, bernie Hudson.

Anytime, you have to say, who is this guy? The unsuspecting guy who can kick your ass and kill you. Oh, it's great.

I love it. He looks like Jamaican Paul walks into.

Cudas after Manny Fuigs.