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This is the Dan Leviton Show with the Stugats Podcast.

Skeleton crew down here in Miami today.

I can't remember the last time I was... I was just back. I can't believe I don't know the last time I was called the skeleton. I just made a fat joke of myself. What are.

We doing here?

You like it? No idea. There's four of us here. The entire rest of the company.

Is out in California. That's true. Let's say what.

It is. It's obvious. What?

Nobody wants to work. He didn't say it.

Like that, though. No, he said.

It better, actually. We recorded Godless Football for our Monday episode a little while ago, right before this. We got to really do the Monday Godless Football. Yes, we did. I have had a difficult time trying to balance not recycling takes from that show to this show. Sure. This week it's even harder. Well, last week I wasn't here because of the jury. But this week it's even harder because I'm here. I feel like I'm expected to talk more than when I'm there. When I'm there, it's easy because I just am like, You know what? There's 1,000 people here. I can just take it easy. You can disappear for a little bit. You know what I mean? Go huddle-swab. Not disappear, but I feel like I don't need to have as many things to talk about. So then I was having difficulty deciding on what I wanted to share on God bless football thoughts wise, and what I wanted to save for this, and I save stuff for this.

Okay, well, what did.

You save? I don't like the Dolphins fan I'm becoming.

Why? Are you getting spoiled? Are you expecting them to win now and you get mad when they don't?

I'll say this.

Before-have you.

Lost perspective? Before Billy gets to it, I will say this. I have no idea who's good, what's happening in the NFL, and it seems to be the case every single year. Last week, the Dolphins were the best team in the NFL. This week, they lose to the Eagles. Last week, I said the Lions were the best team in the NFC. They get blown out by the raccoons. I have no idea what to expect week to week. Zero. Anyway.

Well, I think usually you take what a team did last week and you're like, They're going to do that again next week. Right. But I think the way it works is the opposite of that. Like the Eagles last week, you're like, Oh, they lost to the jets. Okay, dolphins are coming in there better than the jets. This is an easy one. Yes. You got to zag. When your mind says zag, you got to zag.

Except the Chiefs. Somehow, Patrick Mahom just always ends up being six and one or five and one. Every year, it's like, They had a bad season. Oh, no, wait, they're six and one.

Oh, okay. Well, this has nothing to do with my expectations of the game or how I thought the dolphins were going to do. I actually thought that they did an okay job. I thought they had a better game against the Eagles than they had against the Bulls. But you can listen to that on Godless Football. That's not what I.

Think they did. I mean, 17, second half, they had a chance to win a game, a big game on the road. They didn't get it done, but they were in the game in the second half. They didn't score on offense in the.

Second half. Chris, I was telling you two guys, I don't want to be the referee person. I don't want to be the official person. I don't want to be the rest. I'll do it. We got screwed last time. Yeah, this is what I didn't want to do, though.

That a boy?

Yeah. I mean, that discrepancy, that's just not fair. There was clearly three to four, you know what? I'm going to call it four to five. Wow.

That's a.

Big step. We went from three to five.

It's almost double. Very quick mid-sentence.

I'm just thinking of them in my head, and it was nonsense. You have.

The exact calls?

The Cedric Wilson one.

Was bad. The face mask. The face mask. The face-to-face mask was bad. Yeah, there are other ones.

Okay. Well, they had a touchdown called back on a hold, where it was like a, he had his own. He held him. Yeah, you can let that go. Wait a second. Let him play sometimes, you know what I mean?

Chris had three to four that went to five to six, and he can't.

Think of a single one. But I'm trying to let everyone get their shots off here. I don't want to just say all of them. I'm going to let.

Tony go a little. I see. Want everyone to bring their own hands.

There was one on the brotherly shove that they called offensive offside when nobody was offside. It was just Kelsey's other hand, which they called the penalties.

They thought it was like the guard's hand. Apparently, Kelsey's hands allowed to be up there, but no other hand. The only penalty they called on them was wrong. Right. Okay? Bullshit what happened last night. I'm not saying it would have changed the result. Look, the Dolphins went into a tough environment, five and two. I am still thrilled with how the season is going. I'm not going to go flying off the handle here, but to say that their officials didn't play a factor in last night's game, I don't think you can do that.

Okay. If anything I would say, I think you could feel better about that, is that if you think that the Dolphins were robbed by the officials, you're like, Well, they could hang with the Eagles.

But I don't want to do-They did hang with the Eagles. They did. Yeah.

It is a bad look. I'm with Billy that as much as I feel the things that I just said the stuff about the ref, but I instantly regret it because you don't want to be.

That team. Oh, well, that leads me to why I don't like the fan that I've become. Because I have a friend who's a fan of The Eagles, and I was texting some foul things. I was talking about how smug, I think, nick Ciriani looks. Nick Ciriani looks very smug. We can agree on that.

I don't even know if smug is the word, but his face.

Is something. Here's the thing, that I say on the front end where I say, nick Ciriani looks so smug, where he's there and he's doing his things and he does this whole thing with his face. The last time I said something about someone's face, it went very poorly for me. It was like, Let's do billboards with Josh Allen. I'm never going to talk about anyone's face again. I was saying, God, this nick Ciriani looks so smug where he was there and he was going to punty. You think the Dolphins have a chance to get right back into it, then calls a time out, and then goes for it, and then they get in. His smug looks that he's doing the entire time. Again, I was saying this to my friend, Allison, who's an Eagles fan. I was saying, You know what? I understand Mike McDaniel is a Dolphins coach, so I cannot be the person saying this coach looks smug because Mike McDaniel, we can agree.

He is smug.

Looks a little, sometimes a little too cool for school. I'm not going to say smug. Let's just say sometimes looks a little too cool for school. Okay. Ciriani, though. So I was calling Ciriani smug.

Let me put that on the phone, please? Does Mike McDaniel look.

Too cool for school? Sometimes. Okay. Then on games like yesterday where he's losing, he looks like he-He.

Looks better when.

He wins, yes. 100 % looks better when he wins. The case with most coaches, yes. Have you noticed that for day games, he wears those sunglasses that I assume are prescription sunglasses that he wears. -do you know what I'm talking about? At nighttime, he has to take yes. The big Ray-Bans that are two-tone, and then at night, he's just wearing his glasses.

-like the fighter pilot glasses.

Kind of, yeah. But I don't think he'd be eligible to fly a fighter jet.

Yeah. You know.

It's like veryOn.

What grounds? What do you.

Mean by that? Well, it's vision. You can't. I think if you wear glasses, you can't fly.

A jet. -but you could just.

Get LASIK. -no.

So you can't get LASIK. You have to have naturally.

Perfect eyes. No, look it up. It's very hard to fly a.

Fighter jet. They all look it up. No, it's true. Actually, look it up. I am interested. If you have.

Glasses-okay, I'm in. I'll look it up. No, it is. It's really hard. Any little thing, it's like, No, sorry, you can't fly this. And it makes sense because those jets are like $50 million each. You should have the vision. You have to be absolutely perfect in every sense of the word or you can't fly the plane.

Makes sense, yeah.

I think at one point, I'm looking for the meanest thing that I said. I have said on the record, and I know that last week or the week before we had a clip of David Samson going after Philly's fans that went somewhat viral, where people were like, Philly's fans were really bothered by this clip, and they were all commenting on it. I was saying, I'm having a hard time rooting against the Philies. I know you're wondering why are we talking about this. We're talking about the Dog's Game. That's okay. I'm having a hard time rooting against the Philies.

It's a Philly connection.

Billy, Lazy River.

Chris gets it. Okay, Lazy River. We are left to our own devices. We're the only four left of this company. Everyone else is in L. A. Okay, Lazy River. Have fun.

Also, speaking of Lazy River on Airforce. Com.

Not a website that's real.

The internet's not a.

Great place to be here. Hold on.

I've got the qualifications.

I've got the qualifications for being an Air Force pilot on Airforce. Com. Knowledge of theory of flight, air navigation, meteorology, flying directives, aircraft operating procedures, and mission tactics. Number two, completion of Air Force specialized undergraduate pilot training. Another training that you need to do additional requirements specific to specificity, which just.

Seems vague. So nothing about vision.

Nothing about vision.

You're looking at the wrong place.

Must be training between the ages of 18 to 33.

I'm seeing that, yes, although Air Force pilot eyesight requirements are more complex.

Thank.

You. It's saying, though, but you can have glasses. As long as you have a certain standard of eyesight, you can.

Why are you saying thank you?

Thank you.

As long as you can see, you can.

Become a fighter pilot. I started typing, Can you be a fighter pilot? And then Google was auto filling and it said with glasses, and it says Air Force pilot vision requirements. Can you be a fighter pilot with glasses? Yes. Although Air Force pilot eyesight requirements are more complex. I'm going to check that.

Up as well. Is that on Airforce.

Com? It's in now. What do.

You mean? It says normal color vision. I don't know what that means. 20, 30, near sighted vision without correction, and then it just stops. I'm not going to keep clicking and looking at that. Anyways, so I was saying that I don't want to root against the Philies, basically because every other team is boring and I don't want the Astras to win again and all this stuff. I was like, the Philies fans have been great, blah, blah, blah. Eagle's fans, though, and I realized they were the exact same people. Oh, God, no. I was so over it yesterday. At one point, I told my friend who is an Eagle's fan, Allison, I said, I hope the earth swallow up Philadelphia.

I don't even.

Know what that means. It's a little aggressive. I don't know what it means. I don't know how the Earth would swallow up a city, but I was hoping that it happened.

If it happened, you'd feel pretty instantly.

You would, yes. What did your friend, Allison, had you respond to that?

He was saying, The dolphins are the worst. I hate the uniforms. They're the worst things. Horrendous. The throwbacks are terrible.

As soon as I saw the Kelly Green last night, I was like, We're screwed.

Dude, the Greens are so good.

I hate them.

The color of the helmet was incredible.

The Colts.

Looked cool yesterday, too. Those helmets are lame. What? The Colts ones? No, the Eagles ones. Lame helmets.

What's your problem with the Eagles helmets?

The wing is not defined.

What do you mean?

The wing is not defined. It's just a gray wing. I need the tracing of the feathers. I need to see the actual wing. If not, I don't know what it is. It looks like a peninsula. Two peninsulas on a green... Yeah.

Can we talk about the tush, push, or you want to save.

That for later? No, I think Billy's right. I think Jaylet Hurst is a one-trick pony.

You can't.

Even.

Keep a.

Straight face. It's all they do. It's all they do.

It's unstoppable. It's like they're third and seven, and they aim for fourth and short. They don't try to get the first down on third and down. They're like, Let's make sure to get fourth and one here.

They did that in the red zone where it was a third and seven or third and eight at the 10-yard line or something, and then they just ran it. They got like two yards. I was like.

What are they doing? Why don't they just do that the entire way up the field?

That's exactly what I told Steve- They get three yards. I said just have the player play the entire game. I go, Just.

Have every game. At least one drive. They should troll America. One drive to do it the.

Entire.

Way down the field.

Why do people want it banned? Why do they say it's not a.

Football move?

Because they suck at it.

Because it's cheating. Hold on. How is it cheating?

How is it cheating? It's legal within the rules. It feels like when you're pushing your quarterback.

It's getting help. It's the same reason why a field goal kick, you can't push people and I can't lift you up.

On a-We just need miles.

That would be sick on a field goal block if you could get together and do cheerleading style.

But that's a good example of why people have issues with it. Imagine if you could lift someone up and have them try to block a field goal. The thing is you can't.

They can try it. Other teams can try it. It's not like, Oh, you know what? The only team that can do it is Philly. Nobody else can try it. Everybody can do it. If you just suck at it, it's like just sucking at running the ball or throwing the ball. If you have a bad quarterback, that's your.

Fault, not mine. I am confused the strategy to try to stop it. You have Javan Hall and jumping up as if it's like a guide. It's like, no, you got to get behind the defense. There should be linebackers pushing the offense alignment. I'm confused why the defenses aren't using the same strategy they're using because they're getting outnumbered. It's like they're all lined up, single-file, and they're getting bulldozed.

That's just bad for Kelsey in that situation. Why? Because he's at the bottom of the pile.

Yeah, but he lives for that. He lives to be at the bottom of a pile.

What do you mean? Their line is so good. And Hassan Redik, oh.

My God. Is a monster.

Why are we running at him the whole first half? It didn't make any sense. It was like, hey, there's their best defender. Let's run it right out. Maybe that is the strategy. Sometimes you go right at a guy.

But it was like... No, not yesterday.

I know. They tried to have crackback blocks. They tried to bring in a tight end or something to stop us on Redik. He was just going around everywhere.

Well, guys, I think the Dolphins strategy is we could run the football at anyone against anyone. They did show it last night, but going into the game, that's what they were thinking.

Don Libertard. Greg Cody of the Miami Herald is writing an article, and I'm reading in it. Mass Miami, sold out. Miami artist, Miami culture. I'm reading Mass Miami is Sold Out. I'm reading about Digital Podcast Network, and I'm reading about us, and I'm like, This is our dreams coming true.

Still got.

A thousand people come out and we see the shipping container and they're on stage, and they're like rock stars. You and me both had tears in our eyes. We're like mom and dad of sentiment, and it's hard to get you to.

Sentiment, man. That was a very emotional moment for us to see those guys. I'm telling you guys, you were on stage. Dan and I were both crying. Are you guys aware of this? Crying. We were. Like crocodile tears.

We believe Dan was crying. No, crocodile tears are fakes. Crocodile tears are fakes.

I thought they.

Meant big. This is the Dan Levitar Show with the Stugats.

I do.

Feel like there is a question to be asked about the Dolphins' offense traveling. We've seen how it looks at a home. Yeah. I mean, obviously the competition has been the Eagles and the Bulls. Maybe that's just it, and it's not being on the road. But the offense hasn't looked good on the road against these good defenses, which obviously it's going to be tougher against good defenses. But I don't know, I just want a little more production.

I think this is the first time the Dolphins have played a defensive line to the status of the Philadelphia Eagles, right? The Bulls had a good defensive line, and look what happened to them, scored 20 points.

Dolphins scored 20, yes. Right.

If it weren't for that pick six last night, the Dolphins score 10 points.

It should be noted the Dolphins were missing three starting offensive lines. Sure. Connor, Williams, and Tehran, Armstead are just.

Difference makers. And then Wynn got.

Her too. Like first or.

Second play.

Of the game. I made such a dumb home or bet last night. I didn't do the is Conor playing? Is Taran playing? David and Howard not playing. It was just so clear in hindsight that this.

The Dolphins-Why? Because most of your bets are armed with information.

Well, forget about my bets. In hindsight, the Dolphins were under man last night. They didn't play well, and they were missing, you could argue, five of their top eight guys. Right.

And Waddle got hurt.

Yeah, I mean, it's a tough spot.

Conner, Williams being out too was tough because you saw what happened when Eikeenberg got into center.

Eikeenberg was ranked 39 of 39. Through balls all over.

The.

Place.

Love those PFFs. One low, one high, one to the side.

All the Eagles players, four of the five Eagles offense alignment, top 10 PFF offense line.

Crazy. Yeah, that's what I was seeing, and I was like, This team is ridiculous.

Lane Johnson has a little for Sachs since.

Like 2004. But last night, Phillips got one on him.

Yeah, you did. Then you looked at the Dolphins, PFF rankings and they showed us all 19, 23, and we're like, not good.

Are we just realizing the Eagles are good? They went to the Super.

Bowl last year.

It's just.

The line play. What do you mean eh?

I don't know. I just made a sound. I'm trying to keep things moving.

It's just we don't know how to quantify offensive line plays. You look at the Eagles and you're like, Wow, they have a great unit. They could do the brotherly shove. Then everybody else is like, I don't really know. Do the Pittsburgh Steeler's have a good offensive line? I don't know.

I have no idea. I have no idea if any team in the A- I think the Bangles offensive line is good. Right. I don't know. I have no idea. But Chris does have a right to be concerned. I think Dolphins fans should be concerned. No. They didn't score an offensive point in the second half. They're clearly not as good on the road as they are at home. They haven't beaten a really good team in the NFL yet. They just haven't.

Billy, they haven't. The chargers aren't good.

What's.

Their record? No, I agree. I think that's the only debate.

I mean, Calin, Ramsey still hasn't played for the Dolphins, and that's going to be a difference when he's on the defense.

Agreed. I'm checking out the chargers. What, they're two and four? Two and four. Two and four. I mean, at the time they played them, it felt like a great victory.

The Dolphins are banged up. Like, A-Chan is out and he's a giant difference maker on the offense. They have line men that are out. It's just.

About what are they going to look like late in the year? I think everybody knows when the Dolphins have enough of their pieces, they're going to be one of the top end teams. It's just going to be like, How does this all shake out? When we come on here, people want to know, tell me exactly how things are going to work out. The Dolphins are going to be in the mix.

No, they're definitely in the mix. You do wonder if they don't have home field advantage in the playoffs, if the Dolphins can make it to a Super Bowl. That's a fair thing to be thinking right now if you're a Dolphins fan, Chris.

But you would think that about most NFL teams. Yeah. Sorry.

I'm not panicking. I'm not panicking after yesterday's game. I don't know why you want us to panic and freak out about this team, Stugars.

I don't know. I'm only supporting Chris here in his concern about the Dolphins offense on the road. It is a vastly different offense at home than.

It is on the road. I have a question for you. The next road game technically is the jets, even though they have a game against the Chiefs in Germany in between. They have the Patriots too. They have.

The Patriots too. By the way, 9:30 AM start for that game? I hate it. Okay. Inconvenience them, not us.

Inconvenience who? Germans. The Germans? Yeah.

Have the game somewhere. I don't know what time, 10:00 AM or whatever it'll be over there, where we can get a night game over here. I don't know what.

The math is, but... They want the games to stand out. They don't want Germany to just be in the one.

O'clock late. No, but have it be the night game then and then.

Start it early. Start at 2:00 AM in Germany.

Is that the time?

I don't know. 8:00 PM, it's like.

6:00 ahead. Don't inconvenience us. -inconvenience them. -it's our game. -it's our sport. -exactly.

Right. Get your own... Six hours ahead. I'm with you. Get your own sport.

Get there. You want football at 2:30 in the morning.

Here it is. Okay, but you know the players have to play it at 2:30. This is not just.

About the fans. Players, players.

If they leave the day before and just keep the body clocks the same, they don't know the difference.

So it's unfair to the players to have them playing at 2:30 in the morning.

How about it's unfair to the players to send them to Germany for no reason?

Because.

What are you getting out of this?

Wait a second. But 2:30 in the morning in Germany is what time here?

8:00 PM. 8:00 PM?

Yeah. Okay, we're back.

We're back. Body clock. I'm assuming that Germany is the same time zone as London. I know London's six ahead.

I don't think it is. I don't.

Know about that.

Let's look that up. Is just know Europe generally, soccer game six ahead. Why are you assuming that? That's just where I.

Live my life. Where?

In.

America. There's different times as in America, too, so you know that, Ray.

Wait, so you like the 9-30-kick, Dolphins Chiefs?

I do. It don't mind a Sunday. I hate it. Why do I get one game at 9:30?

That game feels too big for a 9:30 game. Why are.

We complaining about people?

That game shouldn't be in Germany. It should be in Germany. If we're going to be 100 %, that game should not be in Germany. I don't know.

Why they.

Said that. I don't think.

People expected the Dolphins to be this good. They were good last year.

They scheduled it this year. It's not like this was scheduled five years in advance. They knew this was going to be a good game. They knew this was going to be a Tyree Kill Revenge game. What are we doing? Why is.

That game in Germany? Because it's the first game in Germany.

Who cares about Germany?

Right now it's 3:22 right now in Germany, 3:22 PM.

Chris is very, I did not know his loyalty to Germany.

The funny thing is I was at an Octoberfest.

Oh, that's what.

It was.

They convinced you.

They're like, Hey, you.

Know what? 9:30 AM is.

Not bad. When? In Germany?

Wait a minute. It's three o'clock in Germany.

Right now? Yeah, 3:00 PM.

You can play this game at one o'clock and it's still six or seven, that's.

What I'm trying to tell you. Because they're not trying to put the Germany games with all the other one o'clock in. Why They want them to stand out. They want everyone to be like, watch this.

So no one on the West.

Coast can watch it. Exactly.

I could safely tell you no matter where you put that game, that's the game I'm watching that week.

Hey, guess what? By the way, just because you have two games in Germany a year doesn't mean that the NFL is going to be a thing in Germany. Let's just give up on that right now. You want to go to Germany, NFL, whoever it is, decide to just go on vacation to Germany. Why do you have to take the whole to Germany? Just pay for a trip to Germany. Kadell makes like $50 million a year. You can't just go pay to go to Germany if you want to go to Germany.

It just makes sense. Imagine.

You might not even go to that game.

How they're doing it makes perfect sense.

It doesn't make any sense.

They get to.

Play a show in L. A. Because you want to go.

To L. A. They get to play at a normal time in Germany.

Sit down, though. I mean, it was great. That's huge.

They got Fluffy, too.

Who's Fluffy? What are you talking about?

What? We're talking about in L. A.

Fluffy. It's just an example. It isn't specific to anything. Right.

But they got a comedian named Fluffy.

Yeah, Dan did a south beach session with you. You don't know Fluffy? No. It's a big popular comedian.

Chris doesn't know his name either, which is why he hasn't said.

It yet. Ignatius. Gabe, real Ignatius.

Fluffy, Ignatius.

Old Gabe. You went to Oktoverfest?

Yeah, I did. And I had.

A -Is that why you're so pro-Germany.

This morning? I got there.

It's weird.

Hey, guys, you know what? There's some nice.

People over there. Crushed a few bruised, had a Bratwirst, and then I had to go to the toilet and I had an experience. What?

Oh, my God.

Classic.

An outdoor festival bathroom. Time out.

Never a good... I think at an Octoberfest, you had some beers abroad. You went to a public bathroom, which is always a dangerous game. Always.

Especially at an Octoberfest.

I'm sitting down, I'm squatting. I'm not even on the seat.

It had.

To be a Porta-Pote, right? It was not a Porta-Pote. It was one of these man-made-like a trailer. -there was like a trailer. There was a trailer with four stalls. The wall is way too high up. I sit down at the only available one, and there's a guy next to me. I usually try to look for one that's got some secludedness. I got a foot. I've got a sandaled foot. What do you mean? Breaking into my territory. I've got a picture of it. Oh, there it is. I've got a.

Picture of it. What the hell is wrong with that.

Guy's toe? I don't know, man. Is that your dad?

That second toe is curved.

This is just not what you want to see when you're trying to enjoy a nice...

Do you pour water on that person?

A nice relax, a nice release.

Wait, so his foot got into your space.

I mean, look, if you look, that's past the line.

That's a.

Weird foot. It is past that. It should be an actual line there.

I could see him being comfortable when I'm not there. But once I enter, you got to move that foot in.

What if he was just really battling, dude, and he had to really get a wide.

Stance to.

Make sure that.

He was okay.

To release? That guy might have been having the fight of his life in that bathroom, and he was just talking about it.

I'm like, You know what? Tony, I do like the idea of there being an actual line. Yeah. It's like a borderline. If your foot goes over the line, Chris, he can do whatever he wants.

Nutrizone infraction. Is that the center foot? Sandal guy. Is that the guard's foot or the center's foot? It's like the offside.

I have room official.

A little flag on the boat.

I'm throwing toilet paper.

Sandal guy.

Minus five yards.

Coming back this way. His second toe.

Is quite curled. That's what I'm saying. It's sideways. Anywhere.

Yeah, so.

What happened? That was my weekend.

You just went to October. You went to the bathroom?

I went to.

The bathroom. Where was the.

Octoberfest you went to? It was up north. It was in Lake Worth. Damn. Jesus.

Lake.

Worth. It was like 50 minutes north. You take a plane there.

It's like 50 minutes.

North of me.

There's north of you? Yeah. Orlando. It was actually right by my house.

It was a little.

East of Stugars.

Wait, so did you say anything to the guy?

No. What are you going to say?

I just took a picture of his foot.

And put it on. What are you going to say? Get your foot out of my house.

I just took a picture of it and put it on a popular podcast.

Right. Did you hover?

Did I just break a law right there?

Yeah.

Probably. I didn't get his permission.

Hover technique?

Yeah, I was hovering. Because it was gross. I put toilet paper down. I famously, it's got to be really... I'm not someone who is like, I don't think my ass needs... Everyone thinks they need to clean these toilets. I'm just like, Hey, if it looks fine, I'll sit. -you're a bear.

Ass.

Guy? -yeah, normally. But this one was so bad and gross that I hovered. I put toilet paper down. I'm one that generally, if I look at it and it looks fine, I'll just sit. You'll just sit right down, right. But this one was like, I need toilet paper and I'm hovering.

Which means it was so terrible that none of us would actually have gone to the bathroom in that bathroom.

I'm telling you, if you felt like I did, you would have. It was not one of these ones where I'm like, I could.

Hold it. What was it? Why did.

You have to go to the bathroom? I think it was the Brox. Yeah.

Oh, it went.

From one.

Broth to broths. I might have finished my daughter's, the dad tax.

Put that on the pole. Was it the Brox? Just that. Was it.

The Brox? Can I ask you guys a question? When you guys have beer, you just need to go to the bathroom right away because I do. Whatever. I'll have a beer. I'll start drinking a beer. I need to pee like nobody's. You got to keep the seal. Sometimes you'll close. Sometimes number two also. No, you have to keep the seal totally. Sometimes I'm like, I got to get going.

No, but the seal closed is important. You keep it closed as long as possible. Exactly. For me, it's usually like three.

Or four beers a day. At a boy. No, a hundred %. My insides will explode.

No, you got to hold on as tight as you can. Three to four beers is that. No way. Then you go to the bathroom, and then at that point, once you open the seal, it's a floodgate.

No. A callback to mystery crate. The funniest part of being at Oktoberfest, a lady and a husband came out to me and they were like, Hey, Kyle. Wow. That was a callback. You can check mystery crate. I told a story about calling my wife, Kyle.

No, you.

Called my wife. I literally.

Called her. That's not spoil.

But I didn't listen to mystery crate.

What? Why not?

I'm sorry. I was busy.

I know you're.

Always locked in.

We were talking-You said we put out too.

Much content. You were on a plane. You could have listened on the plane. We were.

Talking pet names. Do you and your wife have a pet name? What do you call your wife? Like, when you guys are like, Hey, honey.

Abbey. Han.

Han. Okay.

Nice. Han. H-o-n. Han.

A short man, of course. That's an old school pet name. Right.

Do you have a pet name, Billy? No.

As soon as beer touches my lips, I don't even know where all the lips are.

You should just drink at a urinal, basically.

That ever falls. It's crazy. It's crazy. And then if I go to a stall, forget about it. I'm never leaving.

Is that so? Yeah. You just sit there.

All day. That's the truth. You're weird.

Don Libertard. Dan's, that type of stuff. Tom braided went down with an Achilles the only time he got hurt in his entire career, and I was fist-pumping in my living room at home because the Jets finally had a chance to win a division. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize.

For that. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. It's one of the most amazing sentences you've ever uttered. Stugatz. From the maker of Trust Me, Don't Trust Me comes, I'm sorry, but I'm not going to apologize. You are amazing. Thank you. I know. You are a flabbergasted delight. You happen upon genius comedy by accident.

That's.

My gift. This is the Dan Levator Show with the Stugats.

Sorry about that.

You.

Cussed. I didn't. You're excited. I didn't know we were on the... I am excited.

Mondays are long ones.

Yeah, the Jets had a big week by not playing. Huge week.

I've been pacing myself with my coffee, and I don't know that it's a very good strategy.

What do you mean by pacing yourself?

Well, so I made coffee before I left the house this morning, and I knew that today was going to take a while, and I knew that we were down a bunch of people. We had Godless football early on, and then I could be sitting here with you, and we have another four hours that we're going to do. So I said-It's incredible. -you let me... Everyone just bailed on us. Let me pace myself with my coffee because I know I'm going to need it later. Now I could just go and make new coffee, theoretically, right? But I didn't want to have too much coffee, so I was like, I'm going to pace myself with my coffee. Now I have it in one of those cups that supposedly keeps it warm. But now I'm thinking, by the time I need it, it's going to be cold.

No doubt.

Wait, but if I put ice in it, then I could just make it a cold brew. It's a cold brew. Maybe this does work out.

I'm glad we're talking this out. Yeah, just.

Talking.

It out. A couple of guys talking it out.

Well, I don't know how you guys are planning on getting through this, Dave. This is going to be a long one for all of us. Long one. It already has been. Even longer for the listener.

I'm just a raw dog guy, though.

What? What does that mean? -same. -what does that mean?

-i have no idea. No coffee. -really? -yeah.

I just-I never have coffee in the morning. I'm weird with coffee. I only drink double espresso. For me, I've always said I just want to get straight to it. I do shots of tequila. I don't want to have nine drinks when I could just have two shots of tequila and I'm hammered. I like to get straight to the sex is what I'm trying to say. So a double espresso just boom, pushed me right there. Then I follow it up with another one a couple of hours later.

Do you guys get resentment from your family for not drinking coffee in the morning? All the time. What? Everyone in my family, both my parents, both my in-laws, my wife, my sister-in-law, whenever we travel, they are just like, We wake up. I got to get coffee. I'm just like, I'm good. I see resentment.

You're a tea guy, though. I see you with a.

Passion for tea. I do like tea. I like something in the morning.

So I bought myself a Keurig machine on sale recently. Now that's why I'm making this coffee in the morning. Before I had an Espresso machine, I still have an Espresso machine, and I would just make myself a little Layaves, and I would do a little shot of it, like a little Cuban coffee shot. But I felt like I was just chugging it and not really enjoying it. So I thought, You know what? I'd like to enjoy a cup of coffee, so I got myself the Keurig machine, right? And now I feel like I'm making myself this doughnut shop coffee every morning, just to justify this purchase.

Because the one that was on DJs on sale, I've seen that one.

Yeah, it was a 100. It was a 100 Pods. It's like $6 a month. I think 25 Pods.

For a.

Thousand Pods. Dude, I got a 100 of them for like $34. It's like 30 cents a coffee. I know exactly.

Which one you're talking about. I'm hearing it's trash in my ear.

Well, that's Louis. Louis doesn't know anything. That's why he doesn't talk. I almost bought the other day the pumpkin spice one that they sell.

For Curate. Wait, so only if you talk, you know something? Is that what.

You're making? You want Louis to talk? You want to get Louis to talk to Mike?

No, it's a fair point by you. I'm sorry.

I almost bought the pumpkin spice one, and I almost bought pumpkin spice creamer to give to my wife.

Wait, the huge one?

Yeah. Well, it was like 30 something, but I was like, I don't know if I can commit to this because my wife does not. She doesn't like the Keurig.

I'm getting a private show in my ear from Louis. I've got.

To be honest with you. She doesn't like the Keurig machine, and I feel judged for using the Keurig. What I'm trying to do is do the Keurig in the morning and then the little Laiave, like Cuban coffee shot when I need it in the afternoon to keep it going.

Interesting.

It's not. I don't even know how we ended up here. I'm just trying to get-You brought it up. You know what I've actually been doing? So last night, I found when I go to Sunday nights, a lot of water. I start drinking a lot of water and it'll keep me up. Billy, I've.

Been telling you that for years. Just drink.

Water, dude. No, but it keeps me up. Instead of the coffee because the coffee won't let me sleep, I just drink water and I'm fine. Also, I try to do a lot of prep. I try to do extra prep because I get concerned about how the Monday morning, God bless football, the show is going to go. I try to take notes on all the games. I come in here and I have printouts of all these things, highlights, color coded things, all this stuff. Oh, Billy's game notes. Yeah, I like that. Yeah, I do. Every week I go and I print out a bunch of stuff. It's really just called being a professional, which is not something that we normally do here. No, it's not notes, observations. It's literally.

Just like-Just give us some examples.

Well, this one's actually a note, ready? Okay, right. Hukunakua is back. A reception is 154 yards.

He's good. But he went away for a while?

Yeah, when Cooper Cup came back, we were wondering, is this the end of Pukanakua? But it wasn't. It was last week, we did it back. Okay, good. No, but then my other notes are just.

Like-just give us a few, that's all. It doesn't matter.

Nathan Peterman, zero for zero, Fumble recovered, still in the NFL.

What.

Team?

He is on the bears, I believe.

Wow. Yeah.

Tyson Bagent.

Yeah. Isn't it, Baygent?

Whatever.

Special Baygent. Then my notes are just things like PJ Walker, 178 yards, one interception. How did the.

Brawley win that game? You write the.

Stats down. It's literally just stats and fun notes. What I'll do is I'll watch Red Zone, right? But then when I'm watching Red Zone, I'm watching it passively. I'm watching it as a fan, just enjoying it. Then I'll go through every game. I'll go through all the stats. I'll take notes. I'll read the recaps on some of them. Then I'll watch NFL's Game Day recap, which I found out Chris Rose hosts a lot of the time, which I was like, Hey, Chris Rose.

That's where he is. Is that the thing where you can watch an entire game in five minutes?

No, I would do that.

It's like a sports.

Center thing. It's basically like a sports center, but it's just football. Then I know I can go through every single game and just see what it is that I missed on the Red Zone.

Did you get the TV set up? Or has your wife.

Nicks the projector? Yesterday was the second time that I used the projector in my house, and I did it just - It's a sports bar. Yeah, and I actually bought for one of... The first time we did it, I have a window that's poorly placed, and it brings in a lot of light, so it's not great for a projector. I used a gray sheeting company, redacted sheet over the window to block out the light. Then instead of doing that this time, instead of doing that because my wife didn't like that, what I ended up doing was I bought a temporary blackout shade from Amazon. But I didn't need it because by the time I got home yesterday to do the two TV set up, it was already dark, so I was good. But next week, I'm whether out the blackout shade for that one to see how it goes.

It has to be exhausting being you. Why so? You're just thinking so much. Always looking for bargaining. Well, no.

I'm looking for practicality. I'm trying to make this... Look, yesterday I needed to watch Sunday Night Football, but I also needed to take my notes and the World Series was on. So I could only do two things at once.

Well, not the World Series.

The ALCS, I'm sorry. Yeah, the ALCS. By the way, game seven tonight, how do you feel about that?

That's two words of sports.

Put the kids to bed. Does anyone put.

Their kids to bed? I don't.

Think you have.

To put their kids to bed. No, the game starts at 8:30, guys, so it's a normal time to put your kids.

They should be sleeping anyway. But you don't have to put your kids to bed for a baseball game. I don't feel like there's ever been a baseball game in the history of baseball in which you have to put the kids to bed. That's usually a physical.

Game, right? My daughter just goes to bed at 8:15.

No, I have to put my daughter to bed, and I made sure to get everything going early enough where if there is any complications, I would still be good to go. Got it. I need to put my daughter to bed just to make sure that I can do the things that I need to do. Because if she's.

Up, I can't get in. Do you and your wife split that duty, is it like a take turn type thing?

We are in a situation... Well, we have two now, so we each have to put one to sleep.

Still playing man, though.

Yeah, well, my-It's.

Such an annoying thing that people say with kids. It's like, Oh, you're still playing man defense. You have three. Now you're on zone. It's just.

The worst. My eldest daughter likes when I put her to sleep, so I have been doing.

That lately. She's just straight up. Kids have no shame. They're just like, Mommy, I want Daddy to.

Do it. Yeah, she did that last night. I felt really bad. I feel bad when it happened. I feel good, but I.

Feel bad. Selfishly, you're like, yes.

No, I do. I feel really good, but I feel bad because I know that it's not a great. You feel.

Good because your child chose you. You feel bad because you don't want to.

Deal with this. No, I feel bad. That's what I thought of that. I feel good because I feel like, Oh, my God, I'm loved. But I feel bad because I know how if I were to go to put her to sleep and she's like, No, Mommy, I would be like, Oh.

Those things come in swings, though. Jeez, okay. Six months later, she'll want everything Mommy to do.

Oh, my daughter's going to hate me at some point. I know this. -both of.

Them will. -oh, yes, she will.

Yeah, both my daughters.

Will hate me.

-can I? -oh, yes, they will.

There was something going on over Twitter during this Dolphins game last night after a couple of plays where a ball don't lie, Twitter, was having a moment. Does the ball lie? Because what happened was the play we were talking about earlier where there was a clear face mass penalty against the Eagles not called. Eagles get the ball back and immediately throw a pick six. The big Ball don't lie people came flying out of nowhere.

What does that mean?

It's just whenever...

In that.

Instance, what does that mean? Whenever you get screwed, in that instance, they're saying, We were owed a penalty there. We should have had the ball back. So Carma gave us a PIC 6 right away because the ball doesn't lie. And Tony, I feel like, agrees with me. The ball lies a lot.

The ball lies.

A ton. I think of all the fan tropes, is that the right word that I use there? I feel like Ball don't lie is just the worst and the laziest. It's worse than blame the refs.

Right.

Which it's an extension.

No, I think you can blame the refs, though, for the last night. No, you can't. It's a bad form.

You look like.

A sore loser. They had 10 penalties. How do you go an entire game without getting a flag.

Thrown on you? And they did have one flagged, but they got taken away.

Right. You're saying the ball does lie sometimes.

Absolutely. I'm a believer that the ball does lie, and that people like to pull that out at the most convenient of times. It was a random interception, but the ball had nothing to do with that.

There was a bit of karma there, though, right?

It's the same trope. I'm beginning to... I realized I said trope.

You just.

Want to say the word trope. You learned a new word over.

The weekend. The overrunner is three and a half on how many.

Times we're about to hit. The guy in the bathroom tell you trope? Where do we get this from?

But it's like I just hate... I don't like the fans. Ball don't lie, blame the refs. We're better than that. We're five and two.

We're still good. You're fine.

Let's wait till we're out of the.

Playoff picture. You're not ready to blame the refs yet until they bounce you out of the playoffs, then you'll crush them.

Yeah, this game...

Brad Allen.

I mean, listen-In.

The big picture, this game.

Doesn't matter. No, but it does matter because for whatever reason, as good as this Dolphins team has been, as good as the offense have been, people still like to poke holes at the Dolphins. Still like to say that they don't think Two is very good. He's a system quarterback. He's a product of what Mike McDaniel is doing. People like to criticize the Dolphins. They become a very polarizing team. Now you give the national media, you give them some stuff today to talk about and blast the Dolphins. They could pick through the schedule. They could say you haven't beaten a good team. Go on the road. The offense doesn't look the same on the road as it does at home. You have left the national media with ways to pick this team apart yet again, and they're five and two.

Who cares? Yeah, but-You guys are the national media. -fans do. I guess I.

Shouldn't say that- They did this recap late in the game of a couple of Toe's throws, and the Toe haters can't say shit about a few of those throws last night. The Cedric Wilson deep out, the touchdown to 2-0, where the safety is over the top. To Tariq. My bad. It was a perfect pass. If he threw it to himself, that would.

Have been wild. 40 yards on the field.

Where he literally has no space other than the corner of that end zone. It was a perfect throw. The two of haters, Two of you was not the.

Issue last night. And the one he threw to Jaylen Waddled, that was between Darius Slay and the safety that he put it right between both of them, just.

Dropping the ball. And then he's... You get a lot of good with Two of you, but we've come to realize you're going to get that one throw a game where he just lobbed it up and.

Gets an interception. That one could have... There's a lot of contact there. What did you say? There's a lot of contact.

On that. But it was just not.

By whom? By who? Wait, go with me there.

Eagles Defenders, there's a little bit of.

Contact there. Maybe a PI not called.

I'm saying you.

Could make-You're blasting the.

Refs, Billy, be careful. I'm not saying you could make that argument. But I'm not going to say, Oh, my God, the refs cost the dolphins again.

I think the receivers ran the wrong route. That was a.

They were right next to each other, too. It was a.

Whole mess. I think the biggest thing for the last night was their inability to run the football. It's an important part.

Of their offense.

And then they were able to block. I'd say block in general. They couldn't block anybody because their writing was in the backfield all day.

All the Eagles have done is drafted Georgia defensive lineman for the last five years. And they're great. Yes.

It's not a bad theory. It's what I would probably go with of like, who are the good teams in football? Alabama, Georgia. All right, I'm going to draft all those guys.

When they did the player mock-up things, or it's like whoever Georgia. It was like Georgia.

I love how fast they go through that.

They speed them up.

They speed them up.

They used to take their time with it.

I.

Know. Well, they -.