Transcribe your podcast
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You're listening.

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To.

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Draftkings Network.

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This is not an ad. I keep on having to say this. This is an excerpt from today's episode of Pablo Torrey Finds Out, which you can only get on the Pablo Torrey Finds Out feed. We have our own feed. I don't want to beg, but come on, we're over there. Stuff is happening. What you're going to get here, though, is me and Mena and Dan. I think you like Mena. Well, I don't know if you like Dan anymore, but he's there. But yes, this is Sharon Tell. Please enjoy this sample. I want to say thank you to both of you guys. It's the holiday season. Mena has a child. Dan, I feel like one of his kids now working at Metallark Media. I thought that I would usher in the first topic of today's show by giving both of you this special gift.

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Hi, Dan and Mena. So Pablo tells me congratulations are in order. Mena, congrats on the newborn son. I love babies and I hope that you guys cherish this little new one and just have a blast and be great parents. Whoa, Dan, congrats on founding Metallark Media, which means that this expensive ass cameo is work expense. Well, I guess you all achieved your dreams, so go Seahawks.

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I saw.

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That on John Oliver. I hadn't seen the story before that he was holding a baby and someone asked him, Is that your baby? And the response was the most sinister of responses, which is, Not yet. It's not my baby. That man is such a threat to democracy as a general symbol that they will soon be stealing our babies while we're laughing at. Isn't it cute what a liar he is? Let's give him some more money.

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That's right.

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Is it easier to laugh at him now that he's not in Congress, though, and that he's not actually a present threat to... Or is there a word like there's sports washing, eco-washing? There should.

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Be like a- Cameo-washing.

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Cameo-washing him when we laugh at him and say, dance, dance, monkey dance, which is basically what.

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Cameo was. But it is, Pablo, it's offensive. This man has a broken cameo. He's one of the most popular ever because everybody wants to treat him as a joke, but he's ultimately cashed in on all the lies.

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I paid him, you paid him $400 for that. This is exactly the story that I wanted to talk about, is how I'm supposed to feel about how much I love the fact that, yes, we paid George Santos $400.

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We don't love that fact. One of us loves that fact, and one other of us does not love that fact. I don't want to be funding that man. I don't want to be funding him at that price. Get us a discount at least. Make the price a joke. Make that the.

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Funny joke. I want to point out a couple of facts about the video that we just played. Number one, for people who are not watching on YouTube or the DraftKings Network, he's just sitting in his car, knocking this out. I requested this. He got back to me in an hour. He's just churning.

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Through this. Not trying. It's an ATM, of course, to buy more Botox. He is Stugatz at the highest elevated form of politics.

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Well, the second fact is that in his Stugatzian way of just being very familiar, he assumed that you guys are the parents of Nina's child. I don't know if you clocked that. He was congratulating Dan on Nina's son. There is just that fact of the matter.

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It can be argued that Metallark was birthed somewhere around the three of us. The idea of Metallark right here, the birth of it, is somewhere around just empower creatives to be themselves and they'll figure it out. He's better than all of us at cameo. None of us will make as much money as he does at cameo.

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What I'm about to say is probably going to make this mood in this Zoom profoundly uncomfortable. But just seeing Pablo in between me and Dan, I do feel like if we had a son, it might look like Pablo. If you did one of those.

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Face-mash apps. Now it's really uncomfortable. Yes, she's absolutely right about that. In fact, you need to do that face-mash app so that people can see it will be Pablo. You would be... Yes, it's uncomfortable, but she's not wrong.

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It's just my face. You're saying we got to get this special software. It's just my face.

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No, it's not just your face.

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I'm going to not make eye contact to persuade our audience from.

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Making this image. No, Pablo, her face, this is why it's not just your face. Herz is thin and radiant. Mine is red and bloated. When you combine them, we get your very.

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Full.

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Face. I'm also Asian. No, consciously full. Dan is Latino. There's a little... That is what Pablo looks like.

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Pablo Torre is a Spanish name. It's a Spanish name.

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Three very ethnically confusing people hanging out together, wondering what we all look like if we crossbred is a nightmare of the party that George Santos does represent, incidentally. Bring it back. I do bring it back to George Santos, which is somehow more comfortable than the previous conversation we were just having for me personally. Because I was thinking, Nina, to your point, he makes me laugh. But is it okay? He's a congressman from New York State. I believe there are people, real people whose lives were made worse materially by the fact that he was the most flagrant liar in the history of American politics by certain standards. Yet his salary as a congressman, which is generously speaking, let's say six figures, he's made more than six figures in three days just doing this. What I'm left with is the idea of I would 100 million % watch a George Santos reality show. I would do that. I challenge you to say that you wouldn't. I will also point out that the reason I would watch it is because he used our American political system in a way that totally degrades it, but is legitimately something that makes me laugh out loud.

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He's Trumpian in that way, where I'm just tipping my cap and also consuming the content and also, on some level, aspirationally mourning democracy, but mostly enjoying it for now.

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I mean, there are aspects of this that feel novel, and there are aspects of this that are very much not new. In fact, we had a vice president candidate who parlayed her run into a reality show, Sarah Palin. That happened. The idea that that politicians are entering this space and maybe I'm not talking about her intentions, but what happens next is fame, it's Luret, it's reality TV, whatever. That's not new. The direct-to-consumer nature of Santos, what he's doing, that is new. This is something we talked about, actually, when we talked about OnlyFans, there's some parallels here, which is, Will people pay for this? Do they want this? That feels new. And then, of course, he is extreme. I mean, he literally is I think the first person expelled from Congress in quite some time. The nature of what he's doing feels very new in the sense of like he is a specific type of celebrity that has overtaken the American entertainment sector. So naturally, one of those would make it to the highest hauls of the land or whatever, which is that he is famous for wanting to be famous, basically.

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Yes.

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Can you guys help me with part of this? Because I don't want to be a skull. Nobody wants this. It's much easier to laugh than the fear for the fall of democracy. But when Nina says, Those things are not new, she's absolutely right, and obviously capitalism is not new, but what feels new to me that he's an avatar for is just keep leaning into the shameless. You can topple the rules. You can topple the integrity of the offices, you can topple and gerrymander district lines. You can accrue real power if your superpower is just, I can absorb any form of shameless and then monetize it. I'd prefer to laugh at that. It's more comfortable to just be like, Isn't this funny? But symbolically, it's not funny given where the country is, given.

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Where the world is. Well, also textually, it's not funny on the level of I'm looking at thejustice. Gov website and reminding myself. What did George Santos do? Allegedly. It's like, Oh, he was charged with conspiracy, wire fraud, false statements, falsification of records, aggravated identity theft, and credit card fraud. I'm like, Okay, that's bad. Counterpoint, there is this video of him, promo cameo style, where he roots on the Mets.

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Hey, guys. Today's opening day. As a good old Mets fan, I know you guys aren't going to be playing until April sixth back home, but in good old fashion. Let's go Mets.

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He's not entirely in on why he's funny, right? And so it's this line of he is a clown and he is also beclowning us. But mostly, the entertainment value to me is he doesn't totally get why I'm laughing. And the more that he is going to become self-aware, the less funny it is. But for the time being, I'm like, thirsty avatar for the utter desperation for attention and the attention economy. It's farsical and funny to me. I'm trying to train myself to realize it probably has peaked. This might be, probably is like, self-stock in George Santos right now is where I'm at this point, Mina.

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Yeah, it feels temporary in a way. That's, I think, part of the reason why I'm maybe not as horrified or nervous about him. But again, you can point to other political figures who I probably would have said the same thing about and I was wrong. But this feels like a 15 minutes situation for the reason you said, too, I think because of the very specific nature of why it's so funny. It feels like it can't last.

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But, Mena, if I may, I did. I mean, when Pablo debute his show with this particular shame of mine. I was laughing at all of these same things about Trump and also pointing out, and this one's important to me, also pointing out, Hey, he's not actually funny. He's only unintentionally funny. He's not a comedian, but his base thinks he's funny. What it then becomes is me, liberal elite, laughing at Trump as he takes the country from me because I'm laughing at him and how dumb he is because he's not actually clever enough to be funny. But his constituency is like, Nah, he makes you look like a fool. He's funnier than you are.

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He is funny. Wait, Mena is grinning devilishly, and I don't know why.

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Some of his nicknames are catafary.

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I don't add names. Now we release the texts. Fair enough. Now we release the texts.

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Fair enough.

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Go look at that. There's a giant Wikipedia page for just the nicknames. There's a lot of deep cuts and ones that haven't made it to the mainstream.

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Sloppy Steve for Steve Bannon is objectively pretty accurate. Or, Oh, God.

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There's some real.

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Bangers on it. No, you can find... There are some.

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Good ones. I'm actually not sure if I want to cosign the ones I find most hilarious. Meatball Ron was good.

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Meatball Ron. But he tried out to Sanctimonious first, and it fell flat.

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He stuck.

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With.

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It. That's good. Meatball Ron.

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Is funny. Yeah. I want to point out, though, wacky Amarosa. I'm like, Yeah, I can't really dispute that. I should point out that-.

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Spent a lot of time on that one, Diddy, wacky Amarosa. Diddy, workshop that around the White House for a little while. None of.

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Them are particularly clever also.

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But no, he connects there. Guys, I'm serious about this part of it. You understand why the liberal elites who aren't running around with guns are laughing at this stuff while it's connecting with others, and those others are feeling laughed at by not just people who are making them feel intellectually inferior, but also look like us. They've got a leader who's telling them, These people are dangerous. These people who are laughing at you, they're the rapists. They're the people from other countries who want to take your country. To them, it's not a joke. To them, it's like, No, let me go grab my gun. This guy's got my back.

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Danny Downer?

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I.

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Feel like that.

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Would be Dan's. That's a good one. Danny Darkness, yes.

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Damn. I'm trying to think of one for Mena. Hold on, Dan. Let's workshop this. We can't let her win this game, we want to know.

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She always wins, though. What would we go? I don't know. I mean, we got a iterative. What would we go? Some maladjusted Mena? Maladjusted Mena. Like just maladjusted Mena. If I was trying to harm her, if I was trying to cut her or something.

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No, that would be cut. Messy Mena describes what her texts are actually like, but not actually like her as an organized person. Hold on.

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That's how you're going to segue to the private life discussion.

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Oh.

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Wait. Oh, Mene, the Mene.

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Mene.

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Mena. Oh, my God, Pablo. Do you know how much money we would make if we got on cameo? Mena's real feelings about some people in the industry.

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I believe that if Mena were to do that, she could at least charge as much as Brian Cox. Hi, I'm Brian Cox. I play Logan Roy. And if you want me, I will tell you to fuck off in a very uncertain manner. So, Brian Cox, $689, Dan. That's the market rate for one of the great stage actors, thespian. Thespians of all time.

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You know who's not winning is cameo, by the way, because there's a great... Sorry, something on Monashwari, a friend of mine did a great article for The Times about the rise and fall. During the pandemic, they were valued at a billion dollars and had 400 employees. Now they have to fire the vast majority of their staff, and it's because they couldn't get A-listers.

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To do it. Hold on, counterpoint. I believe that disgraced former NBA referees Tim Donaghy is an A-Lister.

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Hey, Noah. What's happening? Former NBA basketball referee Tim Donaghy here to wish you congratulations for getting that Chode certificate. I know it's been a big thing for you to do, and you got it done, my friend. Congratulations. I know Vegas bumped up the odds of you getting laid up to plus 4,000. All the best, and hopefully your buddy, Alex, will help you get that taken care of.

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Oh, my God. That was a Chode certificate.

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For those. I got it, yes. The Chode certificate. We got that. I hope Metallark wasn't paying for any of the other videos that you showed there.

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Tim Donaghi, luckily, is only $40. It's a real bargain.

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That's why you don't want to be on cameo because you're basically a lot like you're revealing how popular you are.

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Self-pricing your own value is horrifying to me.

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Mena, the meanie, would kill a cameo. If she was just offering not just her reading what you want, but her giving you embarked, secret thoughts on how she really feels about certain people, that would kill. You're making me.

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Sound like such a hater. I am not.

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That much.

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Of a hater.

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No, I didn't say that. That was Mendacious, Mena, just that.

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Mendatious Mena. Miserable Mena is what Trump would call me if we were debating. Yes, that's right. There's a Miserable Mena again. I would be like, Well, actually, here's a bunch of facts. Ladies and gentlemen, Miserable Mena, am I right? And the crowd would go wild and you would see me melt just into a puddle on stage.

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This is Pablo just meeting you again, by the way. Did you like that? Do you want more? If so, you know where to get it. Pablo Torrey finds out, has a podcast, feed a YouTube channel, all of that. Apparently, the big lead called us the the best sports podcast of 2023. Yeah, I'm not going to challenge that. For the rest of today's episode, and there is more, there's Stugats. Stugats tease. He's in there, too. Go to our channel, wherever you get the shit that you say you like.