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To DraftKings Network.

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Okay, so I have two holiday themed music takes for you guys because holiday music is ever-present, basically starting around this time. I've got a couple of different things that I've been wanting to get out for weeks at this point. Chris, I know you had some stuff here, though.

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Whenever I think of holiday music, I've always thought, I want to find the holiday that doesn't have a song because I feel like that's just what Mariah does. She just made that Christmas song. Now every year, she's making millions and millions. What is the holiday that doesn't... I know there's greens, beans, potatoes, tomatoes, but there's not really a Thanksgiving song.

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No.

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If we can write a good Thanksgiving song, we're talking every year we're making money.

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Speaking of Thanksgiving things, have you been seeing commercials for that Thanksgiving horror film?

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That's like, it's Thanksgiving, but it's a horror movie. It should be Halloween. It's called Thanksgiving, I think. It looks hilarious.

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There's part of it where this woman gets attacked and then on the ground, the weapon was those things that you hold corn on the cob with. The corn on the cob, they're.

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Like.

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Forks.

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The skewers.

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I know exactly.

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What you mean. You stick on the ends of corn on the cob. I'm just like, Is this a real movie? Is this supposed to be funny?

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I think murder movies need to have some comedy in it. I think so too. You got to lean into how ridiculous the.

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Premise is. We've moved into an age where every movie needs to be every genre. I think that's the greatest combo, is when a horror movie can also make you laugh a little bit.

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Tell me your question, Chris. I don't know a Thanksgiving song off the top of my head.

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There's a market out there. I think there is. Should we write it? Something that every household will play on Thanksgiving when everyone shows up. I don't know. I don't know what it is. Obviously, it takes creative.

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I need to-You know Charlie Brown has all the holidays.

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Jess, have you been down here for Thanksgiving or no?

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Yes. Two years ago, we did Thanksgiving.

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Down here. Because down here, I know that Public's is a regional supermarket. Public's owns Thanksgiving commercials down here. Really? They try to get in your fields. They try to make you cry. It's a whole thing. And they do. You're like, What the hell is this for? It's like a grocery store. It's the strangest thing. I feel like there's a public's one out now, and I could be wrong about it, but I think it's like a public's one now that is a... You're not exactly sure of the relationship. It seems to be a stepdad and his stepdaughter.

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Yes, I've seen the commercial and every time I'm.

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Like, Public? Yeah, and the stepdad is there, and the stepdaughter the whole time calls him, whatever the guy's name is, Larry or something, right? And she refers to her stepdad as like, Larry. Oh, Larry. And you see as she's growing up, she just always refers, Larry, Larry, Larry, Larry. And then we get to wedding day and he comes in and she goes, or he goes, You look so beautiful. And then she turns at me and she goes, Thanks, dad.

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I just got good stuff. You're going to make me cry? Right here, you're just describing it.

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I have tears coming in. Then the letter is publics. Yeah. Shopping is a pleasure.

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And you're like, Wow, overpriced groceries.

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It is a pleasure.

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This is crazy.

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It is a pleasure.

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They have puffed chicken dip.

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And the bridal sweet. It's weird.

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They also have Thanksgiving pub subs now where you can get a cranberry relish on your pub sub.

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It's delicious. They have the shakers, the salt and pepper shakers that public sells where it's the two little pilgrims that are a little chunky, overweight pilgrims.

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Shopping is a pleasure. You haven't seen them? Oh, you're missing out.

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To fire off these takes. I love can't be things. First and foremost, I guess I'll start October 31st. Halloween, the monster mash. It was pointed out to me on TikTok. Did you realize that the monster mash, the song we listen to, is not actually the monster mash?

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It's a dance, right?

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Right, so think about this. I was working in the lab late one night when my eyes beheld an eerie sight. For my monster from his slab, began to rise. And suddenly to my surprise, he did the mash. He did the monster mash.

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You're saying the monster-mash is a different song? Yeah, we.

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Don't know what the monster-mash is. The Monstermass is.

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-than the song that's being written about.

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The monster- I thought it was like the way you dance. He did the mash. He did the Monstermass.

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He was like dancing. But we're singing a song about the...

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We're singing a song about the song and the dance. I get it. I get what you're saying. This is not The Monstermass. The song is not The Monstermass.

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Jeff, that's what you're saying. You should write.

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The Monstermass. I will write The Monstermass. I'll write that alongside the.

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Thanksgiving song. The Monstermass should be the forgetting Sarah Marshall's song about the vampire.

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Did you see that Jason Segel has seemingly been writing the full musical and performed that song in front of people with a full band recently?

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I have seen that. I've been.

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Wondering what he's been doing. I'm desperate for that to become a full Broadway musical. That would be incredible.

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That's my version of like, Yeah, you think sex is good? Try listening to Jason Segel sing the Vampire musical.

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Vampire musical. What a great movie. It's one of my all time favorites. I don't.

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Know why, but that feels like.

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Drugs to me. Once a week, I'd say, I wish I wasn't wearing this shirt.

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Just because I have terrible stuff. Forgetting Sarah Marshall is one of the greatest of our generation. Then secondly, on November first, Mariah Carey released a multiple minute long preview video saying, It's now time for all I want for Christmas as you. I think if there has never been a greater example of late stage capitalism, then Mariah Carey not releasing new Christmas music, but releasing these of thousands of dollar productions to say, Hey, everybody, remember that thing that happens naturally every year where you redownload my song and give me millions of dollars? Go ahead and just do that again. Do that again. I think it's bullshit, and I think that it defeats the spirit of Christmas. The spirit of Christmas.

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Are you coming from Mariah Carey.

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Right now? I think it is... Yeah, I am. I am coming from Mariah Carey right now. It is ridiculous that she is out here promoting this song. This is something that should happen naturally. This is something that should happen on its own. All of us should delight in the joy of all I want for Christmas as you, I say as.

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A Jew. Everyone is allowed to promote things for themselves, but not Mariah Carey. Why isn't she allowed to just share her song? It's not new.

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Also, Christmas is the most capitalistic of the holidays, Jerber. Everyone's making money off Christmas.

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Yeah, and the Jews wrote all the songs.

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Lexus Savings. Oh, those Lexus commercials, too. I always wanted to get a Lexus.

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Let me be the first to wish you a happy Honda days.

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Happy Honda days.

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Those Lexus commercials get me.

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Every time.