Welcome to Stupidity, home of the greatest media mind ever to walk the planet. Okay, so here's the deal. He's a true icon in every sense of the word.

He's loved and feared more than any being to grace this planet.

A man with a voice that sounds.

Like Barry White and begotten. Hey, let's do it, babe.

Me.

God himself would pay 39 99 for a cameo. Fact of the matter is, you are about to embark on a transcendent experience that can only be described as psychological nudity. This is stugox and this is stupidity.

Here we go. Jim?

Yes.

It's rare that I do this, because you are an exceptional producer. You have me organized. You really do. You're great at telling me who we're talking to, when we're talking to them. But on this one, I have no idea who we're talking to and why we're doing it and where it's going to air. So what the hell are we doing?

Right now, we're picking some football games with Captain Lee from below deck. But I wasn't sure that you were going to be in on this, and you're going to do this, so I brought in an expert to help us.

You did? Wow. An expert? Right. Because you and I are not very versed in he's a captain of a ship, you're saying? Right?

Yeah. So I brought in an expert to help us do this today. Okay, here we are, waiting for our expert.

There it is. Our experts. Get out of.

Ohoy, Lorenzo. Lorenzo. I'm going to let in Captain Lee. I am going to tell him. And as I've told Stugats, you are our sea captain expert, so I just.

Love all things nautical, man.

Give us your boat of fides, if you don't mind. Why are you the one who's why are you our experts?

I once went on a pirate boating excursion in ah, okay.

So he's been on a boat, so there you go. Stu.

Good.

I know where port starboard, the bow is.

Jesus.

Okay.

All right. Great.

Hello, Captain Lee. How are you?

What's up, everybody?

Captain Lee. You look great. I got to be honest with you, you look younger than I do. How old are you, Captain Lee?

70. Be 74 next month.

A young 74, right.

Well, I hope so. Thank you.

Yeah.

Captain. Now, my expertise, I've been on cruises and I've been on boats, obviously, but I'm not a boat expert, so we brought in our friend Lorenzo here, who is a nautical expert, who's going to be helping us out with this. But you're also here to help us make football picks, so I don't know how into football you are. I don't know your level of expertise on football, but the less you know, the better, honestly.

But I ought to fit right in. I know a little bit about it. I followed a few teams.

You're a Michigan man, right?

Yeah. With Harbaugh, I find just like, come on, guys.

Somebody feel free to say it's bullshit. Captain Lee.

What? Jim Horbaugh. Go ahead.

It is bullshit.

Thank you.

Give me a fucking break.

Yes.

Wait. Time out. Are you mad at Jim Horbach for cheating, or are you mad at everyone for getting on Jim Horbach for cheating?

Jesus. I think back in the days with Bo Shembeckler and Woody Hayes yeah, yeah. They'd have just settled that at the middle of the field or some shit. There wouldn't have been any of this on the news or hitting the ESPN highlights, right?

They would just punch it out, right?

Oh, yeah. No doubt in my mind.

Fisticuffs.

So you want Horbat to fight someone? Is that what you're saying?

No, I'm not saying that. I just think it's football.

Right?

I mean, if somebody knows that you're calling a blitz, do you think they're not going to prep for it and not use it if they know it?

Fair point.

And if they can find it out, however they find it.

Let me let me ask you this question. What if it was Ryan Day, the Ohio State coach? Then it would be correct.

Oh, absolutely.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I love you, Captain Ryan Day.

Captain Lee. Ryan Day. We've asked directly, but we think that he's a liar. He claims that he does not dye his hair or his beard, but it is completely unnaturally dark.

Yeah, you can kind of tell that. Look, I've got a lot of friends that do that, and I'm just going like, what's wrong with they're not they're.

Not silver foxes like you, Captain Lee.

Suck it up and live with exactly that's.

Right, right.

Thought of the ocean. Thought of the sea right here. Captain Lee, you are the famed captain of numerous super yachts on below deck. I have right off the top of the show here, I want to ask which football player would make the best officer of the watch? The officer of the watch is the second command under the captain.

Might be because I'm partial to Miami, but I think would wow.

Big tua guy.

Why do you say that?

He sees.

Oh, yeah, he does.

I haven't seen know make too many really bad throws or when somebody's open, he doesn't miss, and he's he's very accurate.

Billy, how about that, man? It took a captain to find someone showing some praise for Tua. Finally, it took a captain to get there, but we finally found a mean captain.

Lee, how do you feel about the criticism that Tua and the Dolphins get because it didn't have a great game against the Eagles? It could have been worse. It wasn't the Bills game. The Bills game was a lot worse than the Eagles game looked, but it seems like they really want the Dolphins and Tua to fail.

Yeah, and I don't get that. Maybe it's because they have to play in that crappy weather that most of the teams have to play in. But I mean, most of the stadiums up there now are inside. I mean, they're still the frozen tundra and that kind of thing, but good grief. I think they're jealous a lot of the Miami players, because we got Miami, we got South Beach, we got Fort Lauderdale, we got the islands 50 miles off the coast, turks and Caico, absolutely. Everything's so close and it's tropical and we don't have a lot of issues here.

Captain Lee, you've seen your fair share of rough, stormy weather. I live now currently in Buffalo, New York. Yes, that buffalo. And last time the Buffalo Bills played down there in Miami, the big complaint was, oh, the sun, it's too hot. You just said it yourself, the elements braving the elements is part of football. Suck it up, buttercup.

So when we have to go Buffalo in Buffalo yeah.

Is that one of his phrases? Is that what he says, Lorenzo? Suck it up, buttercup.

Suck it up, buttercup. What's the other one? You couldn't drive a straight pin up my ass with a ten pound sledgehammer. Yeah, it's the pucker factor, right?

Yeah. That's when you're nervous. That's when you know it's tight.

You don't show it as a captain. You can't show it because then the rest of the crew gets they start puckering up. Question for you, Captain Lee.

Yes, sir.

What coach right now is experiencing the pucker?

Good question.

I think the Miami coach is with the upcoming game because the Bills were supposed to be leading the league, our division. They're not. The dolphins are. And we got a big game. We're coming off a.

Wait, hold on, it's a must win for Mike McDaniels, is that what you're saying?

But the Pats no, not a must win, but the Pats just came off beating the I mean, I personally think that the Bills got out coached.

Do you want to tell Mike McDaniel, suck it up, buttercup, or what?

Suck it up, cream puff.

Wow, cream puff.

I'm sorry.

It's not going to get any easier.

Captain Lee, how do you have a one man show coming up in November? How do you prepare for a one man show and what should the fans of yours expect during your one man show?

It's going to be in Vegas and the Westgate resort and Casino. And I guess the way I get I know my script. I have a teleprompter in case I get lost or if I as my publicist likes to say, I start to get off subject, which I have a tendency to do sometimes. And I'll just go off on my own and she's back there going, come on, come on, pick it up, pick it up, you can do this, and hitting my marks. I feel the same way about my one man show. When I go out on stage as I do when I'm taking a 200 foot yacht off the dock, I get this nervous feeling this knot in the pit of my stomach, and it's just there. The last time I did my show, I think I threw up twice before I could go on stage.

Really?

Yeah.

How many times have you thrown up on a boat?

Oh God. The first year I was in the business, I carried a bucket with me whenever I do my watch, because I was seasick for a year. Nobody would do watches with me for obvious reasons. We got a two man watch tonight. Well, bullshit. Not with him, we don't.

He's going to be puking all night.

Captain Lee when you were studying know, training to be a captain, I can't imagine that you thought it would lead to you doing one man shows in Las Vegas, hosting couch talk with captain Lee and Kate on bravo in which you have to now watch all of the housewives and comment on the weekly shows and happenings on bravo and reality television.

That's torture.

Is it really? Which part is torture? Having to watch all the shows generally.

The first part of the five minutes of the housewives. The first five minutes?

Is that the worst of the shows for you?

Yeah. Because when that decibel level gets up, there about ten or 15 degrees higher than it should or decibels than it should. It's like imagine taking an aluminum saucepan from 30 years ago and scraping a butter knife on the bottom.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

Now, Captain Lee, you're top dog in the Bravo universe because you've been out sea numerous times. You've been on blow deck two seasons.

You've been longer than that.

Well, I'm saying but it's ten seasons now, right?

Right.

Yeah.

He's the expert. Stop it, Bill.

Now you got Bravo con, too. You're in the Bravo universe. How is that? We have our sports fans. How are reality TV fans?

You might compare them to Philly fans.

Yes.

Is your wife taking Bravo con?

And if you're riding around a golf cart and they start chasing it really? And you just go like, you're right. Never in a million years would I dream I'd be here, but there I am, and they're chasing after it, and they want they want a picture. They want this, they want that. And you can't stop because you've got a next event that you have to go to.

Right.

And you're a busy guy on you to be there. They have the sidewalks cordoned off when you walk from the hotel to your limo, so you get your driver, so you make sure you get there on time, and then they have security to make sure that you don't get accosted.

I was about to say, does the stud of the sea have detail like, do you get protection?

Yeah, I call them my handler.

Right. You're a big fucking star, Captain.

I don't know about all that.

You are. Yes, but you are.

Is your wife ever taken aback at these events when she sees all these people fawning after you and she's like, this fucking guy won't even take out the trash at home. He's not that special.

Come on. I am taking out the trash.

Last time you did it, Captain. Come on, be honest.

Probably a month or so ago. I don't know. I think it's something about the way I don't do it right.

Yeah, well, sometimes there's more benefit in doing it wrong. You know what I mean, captain Lee. Because then if I can't do it right, I guess I can't do it at know.

And you do it?

Yeah. You don't like the way I do it? Hey, but I do it.

The dish loading. The dish loading always gets a little no, you didn't put the silverware with the silverware supposed to.

Doesn't that drive you?

Definitely.

You also have a podcast now. Salty. What do you discuss in your podcast?

Yeah, well, we make fun of a lot of Bravo.

Okay, that's awesome. Wait, you have a podcast that makes fun of the network you're on?

Yeah.

You're a badass man.

Sometimes they'll tell me you might want to pull back a little bit on that last statement or something like that. But for the most part they pretty much give me a free rein. And I don't ever go somewhere where I'm spreading a malicious rumor. I don't want to hurt anybody, but some things I just find really funny and some things where people are fucking up. I'll call them on it. Hey, if you can't handle the truth, not my problem.

What'd you make of Lindsay and breakup, captain Lee.

Oh, that was a tough one because I'm good friends with both of them. Yeah, that was a hard one and it still is. I'm sure neither one of them have fully recovered from it, but there's a lot to unplan when you're wedding of that size. And the wedding was going to be filmed by Bravo network. And so there's a lot of things to undo, to mention just the mental pressure of it.

Were you excited when Scandalval kind of subsided a little bit too? Because that kind of took over the world for a little bit. Yeah.

Scandalval. What a pussy.

Oh my God. Captain, I want to make this weekly. Billy knows it. He knows I want to have you on weekly. You are a bad, not a.

I mean who does things like that? Look what he's ruined for some people. Like women will never wear white nail polish again.

That's the takeaway.

So Captain Lee, you would not have Tom Sandoval as a deck hand on ship.

I don't think the boy could cut it.

Wow. He's on that military show on CBS or one of those now.

I don't know what it's called. We do stuff on our show like you really have to Work.

Yeah, right.

And if you're thinking that you're going to get away with an eight or maybe ten hour day you can forget that shit when you step on board.

Exactly.

That goes right out the window. If you can't pull a 16 or an 18 hours day, sometimes 20 hours, you got no business being on the boat.

I feel like you managing the crew that oftentimes seem like children is just as hard as all the other stuff that you have to do.

Sometimes it's worse. Yeah. Because you can't just dial up a crew. Like, there may be somebody that you really want to get rid of, but you got to kind of help pull them along because it takes so long to vet somebody to be on television and all the background checks that they have to go through and the psychological evaluations, and it's just on, on, and and on. And if you go through, like, the network will have backups in case you throw them overboard. Right, right. So they'll have backups. But if you burn through those now, you got a problem.

Well, this season on Med a couple of weeks ago, I had never seen it where one of the crew members had just forged paperwork and they had to kick the guy off. And it was immediate and I don't know how have you ever encountered anything like that?

I had a guy that embellished his resume, and I've always said, embellish is just another word for.

Was it Leary?

I mean, it was stubby.

Yeah.

He was a nice kid, and I really hated to get rid of him, but, I mean, he just flat out made shit up. I don't think he'd ever been on a boat.

Right.

That won't happen here, Captain Lee. We're a straightforward, honest ship. We run a tight ship here.

Yes.

Glad to.

No.

Liars.

Yes. What's the nicest yacht you've ever captained?

Oh, gosh, there's been a bunch of them. I think I loved my Sienna the most.

You did that one a couple of times, right?

Yeah, we used that one a couple of times. 185ft. It was an old Gallant Lady, which was there was a gentleman by the name of Jim Moran who's big in the car business. He had a company that was called Southeast Toyota JM Lexus.

Yes, I know him.

Yeah, his family.

Small world, Billy.

Yeah, he had the number one Lexus dealership in the world for over, like, 1520 years.

Yes.

So he had boats, and they would be all Fed ships, all built in Deutsche land. And the one he didn't was my Sienna. And that was the only one of his Gallant Ladies. And he would buy these. They were always 165 foot, shallow draft, so he could take them over to the Bahamas and he'd get a new one every three or four years. And this is the only one that was ever built in America.

Billy is shocked that you and I have a friend in common.

It's wild.

Wait, have you ever capped in a.

Celebrity ship, like, their yacht no, I've had celebrities on board.

I was about to say, any athletes charter one of your vessels?

Hold on. I personally have not had an athletes charter below deck med did. I think they had Johnny Damon on once.

Johnny Damon was wild. He was on a couple seasons.

He was got him and his wife just got into it. I mean, into the sauce.

Right. Thank you for clarifying.

She got into a pissing contest with the boat next door and the owner of that boat, and he got so pissed off, he came down the gangway onto the dock and onto our boat, and he was hot. I thought they were going to come to blows.

What celebrities have you had on board?

There's only a couple that I can talk about. We had Luis Miguel on board. I don't know, he's Latin singer and he had a one week charter and then he was having such a good time. He stayed on for a couple of weeks.

Nice.

And it was funny because I had gone out and provisioned for the liquor and the wine, and he didn't really give me any direction, and I didn't know I'd never heard of him at the time. So I went out and I bought a case of a case of wine. It was like 100 and $3140 a bottle. And I thought, I hope he's not pissed that I overspent. When he got on board and we served wine at dinner, he had one of my mates go to the restaurant at Fisher Island and get a case of wine that was more suited to his palate, which was $1,200 a bottle.

So you thought he was going to be pissy. You spent $130 a bottle?

Yeah, I've got, like, a case of this wine that's $130 a bottle. And he said, Cap, he says, you can take that home with you. He said, I won't be needing it. Score.

Score. Any others that you could talk about?

Not that I can talk about.

So what do they do? You have to say an NDAs or something?

Yeah.

Oh, man, that sucks. Have any of those people that you can't mention, have any of them known you from the show or no?

Yeah.

Oh, nice. Any chance, Captain, that we could trotter a boat? Have you captain it? Do a show with you on the boat? What do you think?

I'm in.

What's the smallest boat you get on at this point? I feel like you're like, I don't mess with dinghies anymore.

It's funny you should say that, because it's true. It'd be like you're in the major leagues. Somebody sending you back down to yeah, yeah.

So you wouldn't have no interest in going on a pontoon boat with Stan Van Gundy and us or anything like Be?

Oh, hell yeah.

Okay, well, we're back on.

As long as we're out in the water and we're having a good time. But as far as taking a captain's job on something smaller than, say, 100 and 8190ft. No.

You've taken Jimmy Johnson out, haven't you? I mean, I feel like you have.

No, I haven't.

Okay.

All right. I've been trying to get into his tournament.

Really?

Oh, his fishing tournament. Okay.

Want me to help you out or what do you think?

Wait a minute. Hold on now. We can make things happen.

Yeah, we can make things happen for you. Okay. I'll just call Jimmy. I mean, it's terrifying calling Jimmy, but I'll call him and I'll see if I can get you in. What do you think?

No, it is he's got a great tournament that he does every year, and everybody wants that rank.

Right?

Okay, so you want us to try to get you yeah.

Yeah.

Okay. All right. Billy, what were you looking up?

Writing? No, I'm writing down Jimmy Johnson. I'm going to make this happen for you, captain Lee. Is there anyone, Captain Lee that you've wanted to meet that you haven't been able to?

Yeah, because he's passed away. John Wayne.

Oh, well, I can't do anything about that one.

How about anyone living, though?

Living that I would really like to meet. Wow.

Because maybe we can make it happen, Captain.

That's why we're know. Gosh, that's a tough one because there's a lot of people that I'm exposed to on a fairly regular basis with some of the events that I go to, and some of them are pretty impressive. I'd like to meet Tiger Woods.

Okay, well, that one I don't know about, but if Java Chamberlain's on your list, or Mojo Mutati, we can do that one, right?

Or k funk.

Yeah.

Well, hold on a second. So you're a dolphin fan, I gather. Right. You're a Dolphins fan. And what's your favorite baseball team?

I'm a pretty geographic guy, so I pull for the Marlins.

Okay, my man.

So you're a fan of all the South Florida teams is what you're saying?

Pretty much.

Pretty much. Okay, so let's think along those lines.

Anyone in South Florida except when it comes to Michigan.

Right.

So, like, Jim Horbaugh would be a good guy for you to meet. Right. Have you met him?

I'd be a great guy to meet. Yeah.

Raheem Mostert. Any interested in Raheem Mostert?

Dolphin? Yeah. Lead the league in touchdowns.

Absolutely.

And he's a big surfer.

You remember Kenyan Blake?

Yeah.

Well, I've got a poster that he signed for me in my office, and it was the miracle in Miami when they were playing against the Patriots.

Sure.

And I remember we were sitting up in the suite, and we're looking down, and it's just a mass exodus because Patriots are kicking off something like 3 seconds on the clock. Ain't nothing going to happen.

Right.

So there's this mass exodus out of the stadium, and I'm telling the guys, I said, I'm sitting here. I'm going to sit here for at least another half hour because I don't want to put up with that crap outside.

Exactly.

So we're sitting there, and I swear to God, we had to be the only people in the stadium that saw Gronkowski whiff as Kenyan went into the end zone for the goal score right. With no time on the clock.

Yeah. We can get you a boat full of Gronkowskis, if you mean yeah, not.

Rob, but all his brothers.

We can get you Chris Gronkowski and Miami traded Giseki. I feel like I couldn't understand that.

Yeah, but he scored a touchdown last week that really helped the Dolphins. He's still helping the dolphins. He's like a spy secret agent.

He didn't seem happy here. I don't know if it was a fit with Tua, but they weren't getting him the ball. Seem you know what's weird is that when he left, he didn't seem happy. And I think sherfield also was traded or he left and he also had critical things to say about the Dolphins when they left. I don't know. It seems like it's like a system that if you don't fit in, you're not happy to be a part of.

Probably true in most, though.

Yeah.

Hill certainly has taken a liking to oh, man.

Yeah. I mean, he's kind of changed the.

Game, that guy's on fire.

Yeah. You would like him on the boat. Well, maybe not. I don't know.

Yeah. Be careful with him on the boat, Captain Lee. Sometimes things happen in his boat days that you may want to avoid.

What if Ryan Day asked you, hey, Captain, I want to charter a boat and I want you to be the captain? Would you tell him to go fuck himself or what?

Yeah.

No, probably not.

What?

Well, then I could feed shit to Harbaugh.

Wow. You are so smart.

I do like that.

Oh, my God. I love you.

How'd you feel, Captain Lee? We almost had a Michigan man down here, and Tom Brady. Steven Ross is trying to make that happen, and they were trying to meet on a yacht. You could have kind of facilitated that. Potentially, but it didn't end up happening.

That would have been something to yeah. In a Miami uniform after all the years that he tormented us.

Yes. How about Leroy Horde?

I just used to cry every time he'd come to town. It was like, oh, I'm not even going to watch the game.

But Leroy. Do you understand? You know who Leroy is, right? He's a Michigan running back. I think he was. Yeah. You know who he is? Okay. Yeah. We can get him on the boat.

Doesn't seem like that Leroy's on the waiting list, I think.

All right, so Jimmy Johnson is like, target number one for you, right?

Jimmy Johnson. We got to get Captain Lee and Jimmy Johnson's fishing tournament first and foremost.

Yes.

Okay. I think the best way to do that is to get Jimmy on with the captain, talk some fishing and let the captain kind of do what he does and kind of sell himself into the tournament. You get with that.

Jimmy's always been into boating.

Yeah.

He's always been a sport fishing fan.

Yeah. All right, we're going to make this.

Happen for you, Captain, because I appreciate it. All right, captain always been a big fan of sport fishing.

Real quick, before we pick games with you, have you had off camera? Because some of the most uncomfortable moments on camera are when you get invited to dinner with the guest and it just seems like it's not the most comfortable situation all the time. So I'm wondering if you'd had uncomfortable moments like that that you can discuss off camera where you've been invited by the primary guest to have dinner with them and you have been trying to get out of that dinner as soon as it started.

Generally, if I'm attending a dinner that I don't really want to be at, my presence will be short and brief. Or I'll call Kate and say, kate, I don't care what you got to do, but I'm not going. You tell him whatever you want.

We've had Jim Harbaugh mention that one of his favorite songs, the toe Tapper, is the Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.

Yes.

You're a yacht captain. What are the best yacht rot songs to play on your yacht?

I love that.

Oh, God. You could pick any Buffett song.

Oh, man. That was a huh?

When Jimmy passed away, that broke my heart. When Jimmy passed was it wasn't so much because, let's face it, buffett really didn't have a great voice, and he was never going to be a Pavarotti or anything like that. But he sang about a lifestyle that so many people have adopted that just easy going, laid back, south Florida, Key West in the islands type of an attitude that just made you feel good.

I'm imagining now you Captain Lee, a parrot head at a Jimmy Buffett concert with, like, a cheeseburger hat on.

I think I had him on the boat, Billy.

I think he I've been to a few of his concerts. That's one I ever saw. He opened for the Eagles at the Hard Rock Stadium.

Oh, okay.

Did you ever meet and? No, I never had the opportunity, but I owned a restaurant in Deerfield Beach, and it was called Muddy Waters. We wouldn't play anything but Buffett music in there. I mean, it was transplanted key west bar. We insert nothing but bar food jerk chicken, jerk pork, that kind of stuff. And we used to give away bumper stickers that said Jimmy Buffett for President. And so one of his publicists came in and ate at the restaurant one day, and I gave her a bumper sticker and she says, I'll see that he gets it. And I didn't even realize it at the time, but when we got like, 5000 of these bumper stickers, his last name. Was only spelled with one T. Oh, no, it was Buffet. Captain, next time she came in, she's got a picture, a framed picture of him, and it's autographed, and it said, To Lee and Mary Ann, best wishes. Oh, by the way, it's Buffett with two T's.

Fine.

He's embarrassed. He's so ashamed.

It's like, how could I miss?

Right? Right. It's unfortunate.

Yeah. The one and only shot I'll have, it meeting Buffett. I used to see him up in Nantucket.

What's?

Your man from Nantucket.

I've got a T shirt that says, I am the man from Nantucket.

Wow.

You are? Yes. You should wear a C on your T shirts. All of them.

You're not right.

I'm not right? I am definitely not.

All right, Captain Lee, let's pick five games here before you get out of here. So the first game is Eagles at Commanders. The Commanders are a seven point underdog.

I think that's being generous.

Okay.

Wow.

I think Philadelphia is just going to walk all over them, steamroll them, right? I really do.

All right. The patriots at the dolphins. Dolphins are a nine and a half point favorite against the Patriots.

Patriots always play us well. I mean, I'll take the Dolphins, and I'd give up the nine and a half if I had to, but I'd be more comfortable at seven.

Okay, you buy it down.

I'm going to change the line for you, Captain Lee. I'm just going to say you have the Dolphins at minus seven.

I think the captain should get whatever line he wants.

Billy yeah, that sounds fair. We'll do that. We'll do it that way. Okay, so the Bengals are the 49 ers. 49 ers are a five and a half point favorite, but you could change it if you'd like.

Yeah, I don't know. Cincinnati and the Niners, were they playing?

They're playing at San Francisco. Bengals have a bit of a slow start, and the Niners had a rough loss this week.

But, Captain, just so we're clear, if you like San Francisco, you could make it San Francisco plus ten. If you like the Bengals, you can make it plus 40. Whatever you want to do. Within reason.

Within reason.

San Francisco is going to do it.

Okay. Even.

Okay.

Right. Even though even.

Okay, well, bluefoot even.

All right, pick them.

Okay, perfect. Okay. The Bears are at the Chargers. The Chargers are eight and a half point favorites at the moment.

Yeah, I'd buy that.

What? Okay.

Chargers. Okay, even. Just giving up eight and a half.

Well, you want to leave it there?

Yeah, I think that's good.

Okay, perfect.

You don't need to wow. Okay. All right. Because we're giving you free points if you want.

In Chicago?

No. They're playing in Los Angeles.

In Los Angeles.

Oh, yeah.

Easy, easy.

Okay.

All right.

Are you a fan of Austin Eckler at all, Captain Lee?

I don't recall the name.

Okay, perfect. Well, don't worry about him. Raiders at Lions. The Lions are eight point favorites.

I like the Lions in that one.

Okay, perfect.

We'll bounce back.

They really surprised me this year, the Lions. Yeah. I was looking at the records the other day, and I was just like, jesus, where the hell did this come from?

Right.

Dan Campbell. Dan Campbell looks like a guy who could be a good captain.

Right.

Dan Campbell, coach of the Lions. Looks like you'd run a tight ship as well.

Obviously he's doing something right this year.

Right.

So what is the spread on that game, Billy?

It's minus eight for the Lions or eight point favorites.

All right, Captain, so it's minus eight. Do you want it? You set the spread, though it could be minus two if you mean I'd.

Give him the eight.

Okay, perfect.

Good. I like the confidence. This is amazing. Right? Belichick looks like a guy right. That would love a good boat ride.

I don't know if he'd enjoy anything.

Yeah.

Seems like enjoyed winning Super Bowls.

Right. Those shouldn't count because of that was.

That was a tough one.

It is.

Captain Lee, I'm kind of thinking I don't think that Belichick would be your vibe, but I feel like Andy Reed would be someone that you'd like to go out on a boat with.

He looks like he'd be a lot of fun.

Yeah. He wears those Hawaiian shirts at those NFL coaches meetings every year. He seems like he's down for a good yeah, yeah.

He toss back a few and surprise you.

We'll see if we can make that happen. How about Mike Golick?

Are you familiar with yeah, um, I.

Don'T a bit of a know.

Don't worry about, like it doesn't get me.

Same, same.

All right. How about Chris Sims? Have you heard of him?

Chris Sims? Is that.

Less accomplished?

Haven't don't know much about him.

Right?

Yeah, right.

But Phil you would love right.

Gronkowski would be fun to hang out with.

Yeah.

Chris and gord.

He might even be a little bit too much, right?

Yeah.

Not for you, Captain. You could handle anything. Wait. But how about Phil Sims? How about Chris's dad? Phil Sims? That has to have some meaning to you, right?

I don't know much about him, to be honest.

Yeah, perfect.

Really don't. And I've never been a Giants fan.

Right. Why would you? Yeah. All right. Good.

All right. Well, Captain Lee, so tell the people again one more time about your one man show this November. I'm assuming it's connected to BravoCon, right? You'll be in Las Vegas doing it.

It's not directly connected with BravoCon, but when in Rome. When in Rome on the day before.

There you go.

So it's going to be a lot of fun. We're going to have a good time, a lot of cocktails, a lot of stories.

Nice.

We're going to play some fun games and see what the audience can come up with. It is usually I don't want to say it gets well, it might be a little off color.

Oh, okay.

There's surprises in there. You guys already know I don't have much of a filter.

Yeah, it seems that way.

We've gathered that. But I like that. I like what you're doing there a little double dip.

And when you're performing live, you see what the temperature you take the temperature of the audience, and if they're up for it, then go for it.

Maybe have some of that Luis Miguel wine beforehand. Who knows where you go?

And when your publicist tries to get you back on track, tell her to bleep off. Okay?

Yeah, well, the last show went, we were only supposed to be out there for, like, 90 minutes, and it ended up being two and a half hours. That's right.

Okay. Any chance to see Tom Sandoval and just punch him in the throat when you see him at BravoCon? Captain Lee?

I doubt that I'll see him.

Okay, very good.

But would you punch him in the.

Throat if he hopes you don't run.

Into see me either?

I'm with you on that one.

Next time, you're on. And hopefully it will be with Jimmy Johnson, and hopefully it will be soon. Can you do a segment? I want to call it Walk the Plank. You tell someone in sports they have to walk the plank. Okay.

Oh, yeah, we could do that. I should have you guys on my podcast.

I would love that.

I would love that.

Home at court and court.

We could work that out.

Okay, captain Lee Lorenzo is a top five for you. I don't know what it is, though, Captain Lee.

It's not every day that we have a captain, an actual captain on God bless football. And around here, we like our lists. So I have amassed the top five captains of all time. I want to hear your primary top captains first.

Uh, Johnny Depp.

Okay. That's a good one.

He was on my list.

You get this gonna be better than your out.

It's gonna be better than Zoe's. Wait, hold on. That's your number five. Zoe, what is your number?

Sir Francis Drake.

Okay, captain is already doing better, okay?

He circumnavigated the world, bought the Spanish Armada.

Yeah, but you don't get the show. Go ahead, Captain.

Exactly.

Believe it or not, Captain Bly.

Okay.

All right, who's your number four?

Fletcher Christian. Tossed his ass over the side on the Bounty, set him loose in this little dinghy with nothing but oars and a makeshift sail, and he managed to get back across the Atlantic, back to Europe.

Badass.

That's badass.

Yeah.

I had Captain Ahab as number four, but I'm going to take him out. I'm going to bring in Captain Meryl Stubing. The captain of the Love Boat. Captain Lee, you got to know a few things about Captain.

He's a fraud, though, right?

Fraud? He's not really a captain.

Exactly.

TV Captain. Right.

Well, the man made some Love Connections happen on that boat.

Then he should have been on Love Connection. That's right.

You tell him who's number three for you, Captain.

He's been hosting the Dating Game.

You're right.

Number three for you, captain Hook.

Captain Hook. Classic.

I've got Captain Jonas Brumby, aka the Skipper from Gilligan's Island.

Oh, please. That guy?

No. First off, Captain Lee, this one's for you, because I know your wife, your significant other, A. Marianne. And it's in the song. Billy, if not for the courage of the fearless crew, the Minnow would be lost so they can thank the they didn't perish in that three hour.

Captain Lee, you would not have been stuck on that island for years and had the Harlem Globetrotters find you and then still not find a way off that.

No. All right. Do you have two more captains in you, Captain? We'll let you go.

Let me see.

I'll feed you. Captain Morgan.

Captain Morgan. Derek Jeter.

Captain Crunch.

No, I'm not a fan of that. Captain Curtis, who is the guy that Tom Hanks played?

Captain Phillips.

Captain Phillips.

Captain Phillips. That was a real captain?

Yes.

Saved the boat from Somali pirates.

You are an expert.

Total badass.

Yeah.

I had James Tiberius Kirk as my number one captain. Captain.

Captain Kirk is pretty.

Another amorous helmsman. I mean, he went around the galaxy just boinking green aliens.

Some of those aliens were pretty hot.

Of course, they knew what they were doing. Captain Kirk knew what he was doing.

Pretty.

He was he was boldly. Going where no man has gone before.

Literally.

Yeah.

I never want Captain Crunch. You guys, the wind out of my sails.

I don't think we could do any better.

There's some other ones that didn't make the list yet. Captain Phillips. What's that?

I don't know. How could Captain Phillips not make your list?

Captain jaluk Picard. Captain Ahab. Captain Kangaroo. Captain Kang.

I wonder how he ever got that name.

It's weird. I don't think that he earned it.

Captain, I have a weird vibe here. I feel like you want to tear Lorenzo's head off.

Yeah. Captain Lee, tell Lorenzo that he could stop dyeing his hair and his beard, that he doesn't need to do that anymore.

I know I'm 38 years old. I don't have some grays, but not I got the pepper look coming in.

Yeah, nothing wrong with a little salt.

Thanks. This is fake news, Billy.

Oh, God. You are our captain, okay? You're the captain of God bless football now. Okay? Yeah. So next time you come on with Jimmy, we'll try to arrange this, okay? You'll do a walk the plank and wear the sea. Okay? Because you're the new captain of God Bless football.

What's that said walk the plank. Sounds like a fun game.

All right, Captain, we'll talk to you next week. What do you think?

Yeah, sure.

All right, great. Love you.

I love it. Thanks, guys.

All right. Anything you want to promote on the way out? Did we do a good enough job promoting for you?

Yeah, just catch Salty wherever you get your podcast at. I think that's appropriately named, and I look forward to seeing everybody in Vegas.

All right, and we'll see you next week, Captain.

All right, budy. Take care.

All right. Take care.