You're listening to DraftKings network.

There's just so much noise out there right now, and we don't want to add to it. All we want to say is, visit Frank Keane Volkswagen to purchase your new or used Volkswagen car or commercial vehicle, you can be assured of an excellent experience. And, oh, the best offers, of course. Visit Frank Keane Volkswagen in Liffey Valley and Sandyford, or find out more at Frankkeanvolkswagon, ie.

Now's a good time to remember where the story of tequila started. In 1795, the first tequila distillery was opened by the Cuervo family. And 229 years later, Cuervo is still going strong. Family owned from the start. Same family, same land. Now's a good time to enjoy Cuervo, the tequila that invented tequila. Go to cuervo.com to shop tequila or visit a store near you. Cuervo, now's a good time. Trademarks owned by Beckle Sab the CV Copyright 2024 Proximo Jersey City, New Jersey please drink responsibly.

Welcome to the Big Sui, presented by DraftKings.

Why are you listening to this show?

The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebatard podcast. I'm sorry. I'm not gonna apologize for that. The only difference seems to be this imaging.

I have been tempted in restaurants, just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries, that if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys.

I've done it. And now here's the marching man to nowhere fat face and the habitual liar.

Segway. You were discussing doing a commencement speech at one point for your school, Clark University.

They never asked.

Yeah, but you wrote it, didn't you?

I started it. Stanzik wrote it.

You know what? I'm just realizing, and this is just something that I'm noticing on our end. You also promised Austin Eckler that you're gonna write him a best man speech, and he's getting married, like, soon. Like this week or next week.

I think he's coming on next week.

No, he's not.

Yes, he is.

He's not coming on next week for the speech.

You're invited to the wedding, by the way. Billy's invited to Austin Eckler's wedding?

No, I'm not invited to his wedding.

I believe you are.

Let me explain to you. A wedding invitation work. You get invited. I was not. So I'm not invited to his wedding. That's how wedding invitations work.

Did Stu get one?

You're my. No, Billy's my plus one.

But you didn't get one.

I got one.

My brother actually just got engaged.

Really? Oh, my God.

Wow.

That's shocking.

He hasn't asked me yet. I'm just assuming. But I have. In my future, I have to start thinking about writing a speech.

Well, he doesn't ask you.

He'll ask.

He doesn't have a date.

I asked him.

He asked Greg.

A bit presumptuous of you.

What are the other options, do you think, if it's not you, he's got.

Friends, but, you know, I chose him. It's just what you do.

He's gonna pick me.

Look, I don't need to. I don't need even need to debate it.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

End the discussion.

Damn.

I was gonna say, I don't know, he should chose you.

Choose?

Yeah.

Yeah, that's how it works.

Yep.

Well, I don't know about that.

You have one sibling that you're pretty close. I mean, me and my sister are kind of the same way. Like, I was her maid of honor, and every time we talk on the phone and another one of my girlfriends is in the vicinity, my sister will blurt out, I'll be your maid of honor when you get married. Right.

Wow.

Cause she's, like, threatened, and I'm like, yes, deb. Like, I'm not getting.

And if you have a good amount of friends, it actually takes the pressure off of you.

Well, not if, mom.

I'm the easy choice. Like, I have to choose my brother here, even though I have close friends.

Joey.

No, that's my friend.

Yeah, no, that's what I'm saying. You had to choose your brother even though you had Joey.

Yeah, I would have, you know.

Well, here's the thing, though.

I wanna hurt Joey's feelings.

Has anyone else asked your brother to be their best man? Because then he has to return to favor.

He's an obligation. Yeah.

No, he's been in some weddings, but never the best man, so the pressure's off. He's like me. We're in a lot of weddings, but we're never the number one friend.

I don't want to be in the wedding.

We're like seven people's third best friend.

Always the best friend.

Always the best friend. Never the groom.

Bronze medal over here.

Are you insulted? If you're not in the wedding party, but, you know, you're supposed to be in the wedding party, it's a hassle. I don't want to be in the wedding party.

No, I want to be in it. I don't want to deal with status.

I don't want to deal with anything. I just want drink.

It depends too. Like, if it's like a really close friend and your feelings are hurt, like, sure. But it really is such an ordeal, and it's so much time and effort and energy and money that sometimes it's a relief to be like, whew, I could just show up at 06:00 have a cocktail, watch the wedding dance, go home, and I don't have to do shit.

The pictures suck. The only part about being in a wedding that stinks is missing cocktail hour for pictures. If you do pre pictures, then you're kind of good. But that's the only bad part to me. It's a status symbol. I like being in the wedding.

There's an obligation to be on good behavior. There's just too many obligations happening.

You gotta have one crazy guy in the wedding.

Is that you?

No, it used to be. It's not me anymore.

You used to be the crazy guy. It is you. If you don't know. You're the crazy guy.

You're the crazy guy. I'm telling you, I've toned it down at weddings.

Really?

I've said this before.

In my early twenties, I was the first guy out on the dance floor. Nowadays, I'm just, you know, I'm Will Smith and hitch. Four guy on the outside. I'm on the outside.

Oh, I just.

Watching the dance floor, letting all the kids have fun. It's not my game anymore. It's not my game anymore.

Actual kids, 25, 20.

That's the 20. Something really out there. Kids like, lucy, you call him.

Okay.

But I feel like you look at them and you're like, I want to be out there. I could show mods.

I mean.

Yeah.

So what's holding you? What's holding you back?

Not, not enough alcohol, probably.

There's open bar, there's enough free, but.

It doesn't hit the same. Right, Chris? It's like, it's got it, you know, get more discerning.

I feel like once you've been to 15 weddings, you just. You reach a point of weddings where it's like, all right, peaks. Yeah. Where it's just like, these aren't that I love them, but they're just not as fun.

But I would, I would argue they're a hassle. I would argue, though. There's also, like, a wedding window. Right? We're like, a lot of people are getting married at the same time.

Yeah.

And that's like, that's when you're peaking. Right. But, like Chris, you're on the back end.

Way back.

Yeah. So then you can, you know, I.

Might get one wedding a year.

I know, but that's why you need to make every wedding count, and you need to bring back that Chris for all those weddings. People are expecting it. In fact, I would say that if your brother is asking you to be the best man, he's expecting you to be the crazy one.

Yes.

And maybe, here's the thing. He's not sure because of the way you've been behaving at past weddings, if you still got it. And maybe he needs his best man to be the crazy one.

I'll tell him right now, if you still got it, there's a movie.

No context.

No context. I still got it.

There's a movie in here somewhere. One last wedding. I mean, like, Chris, you could do it, but I think you have to show them on the front end that you can still do.

No, but this is a cycle. You've reached the part where weddings. You just hate them now. Yes, I'm in the park.

I feel like that movie is the hangover.

I don't dislike going to weddings anymore, but I'm just kind of over being excited about them. When you're in your twenties, you're super excited about them like that. It's all a natural part of life. What's happening here?

I want to close the loop on something. Or maybe close it and then reopen a different loop. What the hell are you going to write in a commencement address? Stugots. What is your speech going to be?

I think we have one from an old. If you could find.

Use an old one.

It just changes them.

Are you gonna be, like, the real state guy who was like, on ayahuasca or whatever?

I had a great one for the Stugat school of broadcasting. You could find that one. It's great.

It's really funny what happened at Ohio State.

So much happened at Ohio State. So Ohio state's graduation, they had some, like, bitcoin crypto guy be their commencement speaker. He wrote the entire, like, speech on ayahuasca. He was having the crowd sing. Also, somebody died at this ceremony before it happened. So vibes were already there. They were not great. He comes out, he's singing little light of mine and trying to get the crowd into it.

Wait, we have video.

I think there's video somewhere.

Great investors are open minded and understand.

Things before other people. So I know this might feel polarizing, but I encourage you to keep an open mind right now.

I see bitcoin as a very misunderstood asset class.

It's decentralized.

He admitted to, when he was asked to being the commencement speaker, of not responding because he thought it was a prank. He didn't think they seriously asked him.

Hold on a second. So this guy went out there and he tried to sell people on bitcoin while he's supposed to be giving a commencement speech, and he sang songs.

He got booed by 70,000 Ohio state fans. And apparently I read that the president of Ohio State, there's, like, a commencement speaker advisory board, and they recommend names, and they will, like, go listen to old YouTube videos of, like, different celebrities and politicians and stuff, doing speeches to see who's good and who's bad, and then they'll make a list and give it to the president. And the president was like, nope, I'm gonna have this guy.

They also said that Kirk Herb street is on that list every year, but that the people who pick are like, we don't know who this guy is.

Why we have knuckle who kirby is.

Wow.

He just got strays for no reason.

Let me ask you guys a question. You guys went to, like, big schools, right? So are your graduations. Because, like, at FIU, where I went, there's multiple ceremonies, right? So, like, there's. By different schools, and they're, like, kind of group a bunch of schools together. So, like, in a given graduation period, there's probably, like, six graduation ceremonies, more or less, give or take, right? Is that how it works for you guys, too? Because then you'd have six commencement speakers. So you'd think that that's how, like, someone like him would kind of slip through the cracks where he's out there and he's trying to sell you on stuff.

Not to be a bummer, but I was a 2020 grad, so we got zero graduation for.

All we got was a video of.

Ashton Kutcher being like, congrats, guys. That's really awesome.

That's pretty good, though.

Ashley Kutcher is probably better than this. But the COVID thing, to answer your.

Question, the whole Danny Masterson thing.

Oh, yeah.

He didn't go to Iowa.

The letter.

Yeah, yeah.

He took. If he was on the weddings, he'd be on the downside of the whole wedding peak into discussion.

And Notre Dame's, like, pretty small. There's only, I think, 6000 undergrads. So we have, like, one big ceremony in the stadium for everyone, main commencement, and then they're split in. Everyone split into colleges. And then you do your college commencement thing after. And that's when you get your diploma.

Wait a minute.

And our main. Our main speaker.

Double graduation.

Give me one. Graduation.

Last year about notary graduation being too long, and I was like, mad dog. I agree. And it was also outside, and it was 40 degrees.

Can I tell you something? You know what I hate more than weddings? Graduations.

Oh, the worst. Ugh.

Graduations are terrible to attend.

It was cool. Like, getting my diploma, though, which is the thing about this weird guy, is that, like, okay, yeah, it's a graduation. Who cares? But, like, you know, there's people that, like, this is, like, a huge moment for them. Maybe they're, like, the first person in their family to get a degree, or maybe, like, they've dreamed of going to Ohio state their whole life or whatever, and they're just, like, sitting there listening to this guy talk about bitcoin for, like, 40 minutes while everyone's booing. It just seems like a miserable way to, like, end your college experience.

Also, once again, this all happened after someone died at the ceremony.

How did they die?

Someone fell, like, in the stands. It was very sad. And then this guy comes out and starts singing songs.

Why did they. Like.

He went in with an agenda, billy. And he was unwilling to change.

Couldn't pivot.

No.

So they got, like, a copy of his original, like, speech, and there were so many things in there. They were like, oh, you can't say that.

Oh, wait, hold on. So this is, like, the approved draft. So he had more, and then they're like, I guess we can let him sing. Because if not, I believe, like, alpha.

Male was, like, used in the original script. And there was, like, one line about, like, replacing the word racism with hate. And he was like, this man. He wrote so much all high out of his mind, posted about it on his Instagram story, then came out there and just delivered a literal performance.

Why'd they let him? After they saw the draft, they couldn't find anyone.

Not Kirk, Horst street. Not available.

They was on the list, too.

Really?

Yeah.

Wow. Interesting.

Buster Douglas. One moment. Hall of fame in a moment. Just one.

Hmm.

It's a good one.

Thank you.

Who were the people that you were going back and forth with Jess on this yesterday? Because you told me, and you presented it as though, like, you had so many of these. One moment. All of us are done.

Boxer.

Yes.

Yes.

He beat Mike Tyson.

Oh, there are names, but you guys don't know the name.

That's a reference that I'm not sure. I.

Let me try some names out because Roy might know these names. Larry Mys. One moment. Hall of fame. Do you know who Larry Myers is?

Golfer.

What? A single green jacket. Had one shot. I think on the 19th hole. They played 18. They went to. To sudden death. And he had one big shot. Larry Myers won a green jacket. That's it. No one knows anything else Larry Myers has ever done.

Nick Foles, Danny Willett.

He had a moment. Yeah, he's one moment hall of fame. That's a good one.

Nick Folz is one moment, not two moments.

Philly special. Yeah.

Philly special.

That was the moment.

That's the moment.

D moment. Yeah.

Danny Willett.

Hmm.

You guys don't know who he. Andy Roddy. That's a good one.

Danny Willett's a good one.

Andy Roddick, one US Open.

Name a single other big match.

Roddick one.

Yeah. He's kind of like Reggie Miller, where it's like he might have had, like, one moment like that, but he's relevant past that moment because of his body of work.

Kyrie Irving hit one shot. He hit one shot. I don't want to hear about it.

Andy Roddick is in the International Tennis hall of Fame. Okay, can you be a hall of famer and be in the moment? Hall of Fame.

He won one major, the US Open. That's it.

Yeah, but he's in the international.

I don't want to take Andy Roddick.

Really relevant, though. Like, everyone from there knows of this.

That's because us tennis sucks.

Whoa.

Especially on the men's side. Women, we dominate. Men's terrible one US open, Ferrari.

But he dated Mandy Moore.

Two moments.

Reggie Miller, also a hall of famer.

Shouldn't be. Should.

Andy Roddick.

I don't want to do that to Roddick.

We talked. We talked to Roddick. Actually, let me.

Actually.

You don't want to do that to Roddick because you did something to Andy Roddick. And I don't remember if you did something to Roddick and you really did something to me and Andy Roddick at the same time, which is we had an interview scheduled with Andy Roddick, and then you disappeared five minutes beforehand and told me, much like today told me, you handle that and you interview Andy Roddick.

What? How'd it go?

Well, surprisingly well. And I wasn't expecting to be interviewing Andy Roddick at the time, and I didn't have enough preparation to do an entire Andy Roddick interview with him, where he was promoting both pickleball and a pickle sandwich from subway.

Helping you grow, Billy, everything I do, I do for you, Billy, there's a purpose behind everything I do. When I do that to you, when I bail on you for Roddick, I want to say, hey, can Billy get himself ready and conduct a great interview with no warning? No advance warning. And today, since you brought it up, same thing. Can Billy pull an hour and a half of podcasting off with no advance warning? You are doing a great job.

Coaching?

Yup, coaching.

That kind of feels like it's last minute.

Yes.

Like it's all. It's all part of the big plan, right?

Cause you never know when you're gonna be thrusted into the number one seat, Billy.

I do know. It's typically when I see the schedule and you're the number two seat.

I like this seat.

I'm aware.

Comfy?

It does seem that way. And it doesn't seem like you're doing any extra heavy lifting today.

No, I like it better when you're sitting in the one seat, too.

Why is that?

Less pressure for me? I mean, do you feel pressure still? No.

I'd be here more. One moment. Hall of Fame. Stugatz co hosting.

There you go.

I mean, that is 17 year old. I took out the last three.

Closing the loop on the Ohio State commencement speaker. Pretty weird guy.

Who is he? What does he do? Besides sell bitcoin?

He's an Ohio state grad, and he, like, runs some, like, wristband tech company that isn't, like, well known or very good.

Made him a billion dollars.

Yeah.

I don't know. He didn't know how he ended up there. We don't know how he ended up there.

But apparently the president of Ohio State's, like, a bitcoin investor or something, I read. So maybe that. Maybe that was how.

Joe Namath. One moment. Hall of Fame. And it wasn't on a field. It was by the pool. Dwight Clark. Name another. Catch. Yeah, name another one. Diary.

That's the other one.

When your moment is called White Clark.

Catch. Right.

That's it.

I'm looking up some of the more stranger people to give. Commencement speech. Jerry Springer once gave one.

I mean, I would listen to it.

I mean, he was a mayor.

He probably has some weird things to say.

James Franco.

James Franco would be one of the worst commencement speeches to listen to ever. Oh, my God. I'd rather go to a wedding.

Stu Gatsby from my friends over at Simplisafe. When you travel, do concerns back home nag you? Did you lock up? Did you leave a window open? That's why I recommend investing in Simplisafe. Home security today for award winning security and peace of mind, wherever your summer plans take you. I've had simplisafe in my home for many years now. The peace of mind it gives me, especially during the summertime when I'm all over the place, is incredible because I know the things I care about, the things I value back home. I can always keep an eye on it using Simplisafe's indoor and outdoor cameras. So do me a favor. Before you head out on your next vacation, make sure to protect your whole home with simplisafe variety of indoor and outdoor cameras. Plus, add sensors to detect break ins, fires, floods, and more. It's backed by 24/7 professional monitoring for less than a dollar a day, no contracts to worry about, and a 60 day money back guarantee. Simplisafe has given me and many of my listeners real peace of mind. I want you to have it, too. So right now, get 20% off any new simplisafe system with fast protect monitoring@simplisafe.com. DlB there's no safe like simplisafe.

Don Lebertard, you were that kind of sad this morning, taking the barrage of anger from Stu Gatz because you hadn't booked him enough interviews. The only reason I keep bringing this up is because you are throwing a big party on Thursday. You're doing it, and I want people to support what you're doing because Stu gotts has not made this easy. Stu gatz.

Um, well, you know, I. I. Well, yeah, you know, this is the Dan Levator show with the stugots, so the day's almost done. Stu gats.

Yep. Just started.

It has just started. But in terms of, like, the show's day is almost done. And as we discussed earlier, as soon as this is done, everybody's just leaving, no one saying goodbye to each other. We already said our goodbyes. That's it.

Yep.

Pack it in. We'll see each other on Monday. In Lucy's case, we'll see her probably in three weeks. Cause their schedule is.

I'll miss you guys.

Yeah.

Will you? We'll miss you a little.

Willow will say bye.

I saw Willow crossing the street because we have, like, a street cam today, and I was, like, in the room getting ready, and I just saw Willow, like, running across the cross Willow. Hopefully Jessica was with her.

It's a great story.

Yeah. Well, that's. I'm gonna. I'm gonna end that discussion on Willow. Short story short, Roy, before we go, can we check the box score one more time?

All right.

We are checking the box score in the WNBA. The dream and the fever played last night. Shout out to Renee Montgomery, 83 to 80. The fever one last night. Caitlin Clark went twelve, eight and six, but has six turnovers and went two for nine from three.

Didn't need to bring that up.

Not regular season, though, right? Preseason, yeah.

Yes. Preseason, yes.

Once the regular season start Tuesday. You excited?

Yeah.

I thought that you were getting the subscription for the season pass.

I am.

Yesterday.

I'm on it.

You don't know when it is?

I'm getting to it.

Yeah. I have a WNBA story.

Her first games on ESPN, too.

Well, yesterday was for her first home game, but it was right.

You know, it's on the Disney plus.

Yeah.

Wow.

Most of their games are nationally televised.

Which is very cool.

That's awesome.

So if you want to watch Caitlyn, you may not have to, but if you want to support the WNBA, you should.

I will.

Okay, good. Just kind of checking back in on that.

I'm excited to close the loop on that next week.

That loop will stay open forever. That we're never gonna get, like, a full fledged subscription from him. Guys, I was invited to a WNBA fantasy league this year.

What a cluster that was.

Okay. That's what we're going to get to. Our draft was yesterday, and full disclosure, I never agreed. I just received the invitation. Your draft is today at seven. And I was like, okay, I don't want to be the person that, you know, holds up this draft, so I'll do this. Let's do this. So I start, you know, looking around saying, I'm going to do this. So we have a show, like, company WNBA draft that we're doing here internally in Miami. And the rules are a little bit different than most fantasy leagues that I've.

Been a part of in that Rose is just making them up as she goes.

Yeah, Rose is the commissioner of.

Oh, no.

Yeah, she instituted a dibs rule.

Okay, Chris, you tell the story.

Sorry, go ahead. I thought we were, you know, spackling.

So Rose is in charge of this fantasy league. She made herself the commissioner.

That was very levator tag team.

So, I mean.

Yeah. Sorry. I apologize. It's okay. Well, anyways, Rose made a rule because she wants Caitlin Clark, where everyone gets dibs of the players that they the first round pick that they want before the draft, and it's just because she wants Caitlin Clark.

That's not how draft.

That's what I tried to tell her.

It's your fault for letting Rose run the league. Respectfully, love you to death, Rose, but I would not trust you to do that.

Well, here's the thing, though. No one wanted to run the league, so Rose wants to do the league. She's going to run the league. So. So somehow everyone agreed to this rule. Like, everyone was cool with this situation.

So then everyone that, was there a vote?

No, but she said, everybody, like, you get dibs on who you want, I get Caitlin Clark. And then everyone just started saying who it is that they wanted based on.

Proximity to Rose in the office is like, is that how that worked?

Like, I got there late. I was like the 10th person to choose.

There's not how a draft works, though.

So there were two people. There was two people who hadn't picked, like, their dibs player when I got mine in, and Breonna Stewart was still there, so I got dibs on Breonna Stewart.

You got the MVP, correct?

Yes, yeah, correct.

But.

Yeah, but if we're going to be honest, people were just picking names they recognized because someone got dibs on Diana Taurasi, who in our league was ranked 998th, so had no business being reserved in any way. So anyways, we get to draft day at 07:00 speaker zero.

A lot of players on that rankings.

List, a lot of plays in the league.

That's where she was when I put in her name because I was looking like, scrolling, scrolling. Where's Diana?

So there's only 140 people on WNBA.

I don't even think they finished making cuts yet either.

Dan Taurosi savvy fall well, you guys.

Did a draft pre cuts, so.

Yeah, not pre cut.

07:00 comes and it's time for the draft. I know I'm going to get Brianna Stewart. That's my person I called dibs on. And that's how this league works. You just call dibs on someone, you get them. Right? So with the dib system, I'm then asking rose for follow ups. Like, okay, so since we have dibs, are they just automatically on my team or does this need to be my number one draft pick? Because if it doesn't and they're on my team, she can be my last draft pick and I can get more good players, right? So I was told, no, you need to. Your dibs player is your first round pick, but you need to draft the person. Cause Rose didn't know how to put people on your team automatically. Right. So sure enough, the draft begins at 07:00 p.m. And Mike Malley, who does video stuff with us, is there, but he's not there. He has the number one pick, and he's not in the draft.

Who?

Mike Malley. Oh, so Mike does not. Mike doesn't get in before auto pick miles. So his team auto picks Breonna Stewart. And I'm like, well, now what do we do? Because I had dibs on this person, and this is the way this league works. So I had dibs on this person. So then Thomas, who also does stuff with us, helpfully suggested, well, because I said, what do I do? My person has now been picked.

Who?

Thomas helpfully said, you know what you do? You pick Caitlin Clark. And I said, that makes sense. So I picked Caitlyn Clark with his second pick in the draft, not knowing that Rose had the third pick in the draft. So now Rose is very upset with what's going on.

Your team is stacked.

Anarchist versus anarchist.

It gets worse.

This is wild.

It gets worse. So I don't know what's going on. She doesn't know what's going on, and no one does. Eventually, Mike Malley joins and says, like, you know what? Like, I'm sorry I missed it. I was editing. I was working. It's like, no problem. He's like, just whoever had Brianna just pick Diana Taurasi, and then we'll trade. I'm like, perfect. We'll do that. So my second pick comes. I take Diana Taurasi, which, again, I had to, like, scroll all the way down to find her. It was crazy how low she was. And I'm like, mike, miley's not gonna have a good season if he's picking this with his reserve pick, with his dibs. This is crazy, right?

No doubt. So classic eminem.

It's only like, a ten. It's only like, a ten, like, person draft. It goes really quickly by, like, 735. We were done with the entire thing. But there was, like, eight people in our ten person league that did not show up for the draft. So everyone's auto picking.

So then she changed the time, right?

It was 09:00 the day before. Then it became seven. Whatever. Jeremy didn't show up on time. Chris, I think, got there, like, in the third or fourth round.

Jeremy was supposed to get Asia Wilson. I don't think he ended up getting.

He didn't because he wasn't there on time. So his team auto picked someone else. So then we have a conversation. Rose did. That's another thing. Rose is now picking people who had dibs on them.

Roy.

Which Rose? Breaking the news.

Roy was in there.

Rose, do you see now why dibs is not a thing in fantasy. So thank you.

With the other MVP, Rose.

Rose goes and she picks someone that she's not supposed to pick. So, like, we know as commissioner, she can go and she can undo these things and she can just reassign people to her team. She has his power. She doesn't know that, though. So we're just like, with this trade system, and this is where things got really bad and frustrating is that everyone that was there was like, you know what? I'm going to respect the dibs, which, again, is crazy. I'm going to respect the dibs. Just trade me this person for the person you had dibs on. It's all good. We're going to go. But no one knows who anyone had dibs on. So enter Juju, who just starts sending everyone trades at for their best players and saying he had dibs on those players. And Juju now has this stacked team because he took everyone's dibs players right after the draft in maximum confusion, we got a redraft. He then just goes and starts saying, I had this person. I had that person. That person's mine. And they're like, okay, okay. Like, in the spirit of goodwill, starting.

Five of the aces.

Yeah, he has a ridiculous team because he just said that he had all the dibs players and everybody not knowing. We're just like, okay, juju, like, I trust you. And send Juju all their best players. So then we're like, rose, you can just go and you can reassign these players to the teams that had dibs on them. And then Juju's like, well, I don't think that's fair.

I'm so glad you said no to this league.

So now Rose doesn't want to do that.

Are you happy, Rose?

I'm so glad I didn't get an invite.

Well, here's the thing, though, because I tried to do my trade for Brianna Stewart for Diana Taurasi, right? But because she's the best player, you.

Tried to trade Breonna Stewart for Taurasi.

Taurasi's 998th.

That's a bad trade.

No, I was gonna get Breonna Stewart.

Okay, good.

Yeah, because that was my dibs player, so I was gonna do it. Mike Malley's dibs player. We agreed. Exactly. We agreed to this.

Eminem.

No, it didn't let me do no, he suggested it didn't let me do it because she's a protected, locked player, so she couldn't be traded to me. But somehow juju got the trade to him. So anyways, the solution that I have worked up with in my head of how to solve this situation because Rose really wants Caitlin Clark. But now I don't have a good team and Caitlin is my better player on my team. So if Rose here.

Rose screaming from the other room by the yelling. So here's walls are also soundproof.

Here's the thing. If Rose wants. If Rose wants Caitlin clark on her team, my proposal is. And this I don't think has ever been done before. And I am putting this in front of you guys to decide whether or not this is okay. If Rose wants Caitlin clark on her team, I think she's going to have to trade me Tyler glass now from her fantasy baseball team to my fantasy team.

Really?

Wow.

Fantasy crossover. That's right.

Going to have to do. So, Rose, I'd like to propose to you a trade in which you will get. We'll work out the specifics after. I'll trade you Caitlin clark and fantasy WNBA, but you trade me Tyler glass. Now, in fantasy baseball, I give you anyone you want. Okay, perfect. So we'll have this conversation. I actually already sent you a trade.

Proposal if you want anyone. I'm already losing.

Okay, great.

She's a bigger Caitlyn Clark fan than Lucy.

It's kind of.

It's kind of wild and like, Lucy didn't even argue with that statement, but loose because it's true, which is crazy.

Rose, how did you allow this to happen and become such a mess?

No, no, no, that's not my fault. It was Mike Malley. I told him, okay, at seven, Eminem and Eminem. And I told him, okay, Mike, at seven. He was the only one that answered and he was like, oh, yeah, seven. I was like, okay, you're the first pick.

He was the first person to ask if it was at seven. And she said yes. So he confirmed it.

He confirmed it. And then he was not there. And then he took Brianna Stewart. And then you were so mad that you were like, okay, I'm gonna get Caitlin Clark. I'm like, Caitlyn Clark is not the second option. You could have gone with Sabrina or whoever and just went with Caitlin because.

Dibs is not a thing.

It is in my league.

It is her league.

It is my league.

I am told that Mike Malley didn't come in today because of all of this.

I'm sure he's on strike.

Yeah, he's not in today. He also sent me like this long thing, apologizing for the mess that he made and I was like, I don't.

Really care get over it. If I'm gonna be honest.

No, you gotta lie and act like you're really upset so you get something.

But he's new. I don't want him to feel. Yeah, but he's new to town. I don't want him to feel bad about this.

He gave me Cameron Brink.

But that's not one of the only players.

No, because I gave him a player that I don't even know who she is.

But that's not how trades work, Rose.

And he felt bad, and he just gave me Cameron brink. I was like, okay, but, Rose, I get that.

I feel bad.

This is a problem.

This is an awful league.

It's probably like a Rike Ogumbawa. It's probably like a really good player.

I don't feel bad for any of you, Rose. You know how much I love you. You should not be in charge of planning things. Respectfully, you should not.

Why didn't you guys want to be in this fantasy league?

What?

I mean, the exact story you just said.

It's the best fantasy league that anybody has. That.

Yeah, okay.

I agree.

End of discussion.

End of discussion. Thank you.

Rose, you got glass left?

Hey, listeners, it's Mike Ryan, and I've changed a lot. Over the course of 20 years that you've known me, I've gone from unlikable to, well, my hair has changed. But my point is, while a lot's changed over our relationship, there's one thing that hasn't changed one bit, and that's a great taste of Miller Lite. Another thing that hasn't changed is that it's less filling. So what's the best thing about the original light beer? Miller Lite has sparked this debate way back in 1975, and we still haven't settled it. They keep it simple. It's got undebatable quality, great taste, 96 calories. You know, all those things. It's a beer that strips everything away that you don't need and holds on to what matters most. But with Miller Lite, you don't have to choose what's best. Miller Lite has great taste and is less filling. It's both those things. Tastes like Miller. Time to get Miller Lite delivered right to your door. Visit millerlight.com Dan or you can find it pretty much anywhere that sells beer. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company Milwaukee, Wisconsin 96 calories per 12oz. Fewer cows and carbs than premium regular beer.

Don Lebatard cheaters never prosper.

Stugats I ain't cheating. This is the Dan Levator show. With the stugots.

Can I close the loop real quick before we go to the top five knots?

Yes, sure.

I want to close the Mandy Moore loop.

Oh, really? This is us.

Yeah. So we talked about Mandy Moore because she dated Andy Roddick. We talked about Andy Roddick in the moment. Hall of Fame. Then it got to Mandy Moore. Mandy Moore. To close the Mandy Moore loop that only Taylor cares about. Used to date Taylor's cousin and went to Taylor's house for Thanksgiving and for Christmas.

Wow.

Yeah. And then if we're gonna close the Taylor's cousin loop. Taylor's cousin was an actor. That's how up look. There's Mandy Moore with Taylor's dad. For anyone that knows Taylor's family, I don't know why we're showing that, but.

Taylor's having a moment. Yeah.

Taylor is having a moment.

Yes.

Taylor's cousin was an actor and was the person that kept getting pulled over in super troopers. So there's Taylor's cousin getting pulled over in super troopers. And that is closing the tailor.

Wait a minute. Which one is Taylor's cousin?

The driver. Oh, man. Yeah. That is the person that dated man further. Yeah. So those loops are closed, huh?

Glad we did that.

It's a good show for Taylor.

It is.

He is having a moment.

It's crazy.

Hmm.

Where's Tommy?

Top five knots.

Yeah, I got the top five knots over here. You guys ready? All right. Thanks for answering.

I'm ready.

So these are your top five knots because the panther was out one game to nothing. They they tied it up. And I told Roy they have game three tonight in Boston. I told Roy there are a few better knots than nodding a series up at one game apiece. When you're down one out, it's a great knot.

Yes.

Any o lies, Roy?

No. All? No. No. Outside looking in. No.

Huh?

No.

Really?

So we got. We just got five.

Only five. Wow.

Straight five.

How's that possible? Cost so many knots, I feel like I can think of ten.

O l is just off the top of my head.

All right, well, we could go with you after the list.

That's okay. It says, listen, choose your list. I don't want to, like, you know, dull your shine.

Oh, please. Number five, astronaut.

Good one. Yeah. Yeah.

Number four, nachos.

That's a stretch.

It's a stretch. Okay.

It's his list.

Number three. Not working much like this list.

My favorite. Not number one.

No.

Number two.

Number two. Knotting a series up. One. One. And number one. Garlic knots.

It's pretty good.

Thank you.

I like the emphatic phone slam.

Oh, I like. Nah.

Do you like soggy garlic nut? Like, how do you like your garlic nuts?

Oh, lots of butter.

Slightly overcooked. Right?

Yeah.

Yes.

Yeah.

Yes. Has to be crispy.

Yeah, yeah.

No knots. Very far. Oh, wow.

Knots landing.

Oh, you know, you're right.

You're absolutely right, Don Knotts.

Yeah, there's a couple.

Notting hill.

Don Van nada.

Oh. Oh, wow.

There's so many knots. You had so much room for Olis.

And that brings me back to number three. Not working this list.

Yeah. The Buntline hitch. Ooh, that's a knot. I just googled types of knots. That was the first one that came up.

So, Jess asked if I ever did a commencement speech, what that would sound like.

Wait, are we closing the loop?

Ooh, we're about second. Yes, unless we spin the wheel, and then we can't do it. I would do that.

I created a school called the Stugatz School of fraud casting.

Yeah.

And we did a commencement speech.

Here's a speech.

Bo Jackson. Listen up. Students, faculty, parents, grandparents, and sponsors, especially the sponsor. Today, you are the greatest broadcasters in the world. You were born to be broadcasters, every one of you. I'm sick and tired of hearing about what great broadcast schools the ivies have. Screw em.

This is your time.

I knew it wouldn't be easy to transform sports media, but take it from me, you miss 100% of the takes. You don't steal from Greenie, Cowherd, and Pablo. I mean, I've missed more than 9000 pronunciations in my career. I've lost almost 300 debates. 26 times I've entrusted to make the segment ending joke and misheard what was said in my ear. I have failed over and over and over again in my life, and that is why I succeed. Always remember what you learned on your first day here. Speak loudly and carry a big shtick. We live in a world that has paywalls, and those paywalls have to be guarded by men with journalism degrees. Who's gonna do it? You, Lieutenant Wilbon? I have a greater responsibility than you possibly fathom. You weep for newspapers, and you curse the blogs and podcasts. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That the death of newspapers, while tragic, probably created better content. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, creates better content. You don't want the truth, because deep down, in places you don't talk about in press boxes, you want me on that radio.

You need me on that radio.

Um, I will. Jack Nicholson.

That's Dan Van Gundy.

It was a lot better than the Ohio state one.

Well, thank you.

And shockingly, you didn't try to sell me anything, unlike that guy.

Also written on ayahuasca.

Ooh, is that on the wheel of topics or not?

Ayahuasca, spin it.

Oh, oh, oh, wait. It landed on the TNT NBA rights deal.

Oh, whoops.

Sorry.

You know what happened there, fancy lad?

How are you guys so calm with the Panthers playing a game in Boston today? Roy, you're too calm. I don't like it.

Well, it's kind of my personality to be kind of. Even so, I'd like to see you.

Nervous once in a while.

No, no, that's not me.

Roy, is it stressful playing this role that you're never stressed about anything or nervous about anything?

It absolutely is stressful.

I feel like your insides must be, like, killing you.

I think the real question about tonight's game is, what is the response to the fight? Like, is fat pack going to go after Kaczuk? Are you guys speaker three?

He hates being called fat pat.

Well, he is.

I mean, have you seen him this series? I mean, boy, I mean, I hate that guy. He was on the lightning forever. He's my least favorite hockey player of all time. And now he's on the Bruins, and he's. He's so slow right now. He is just out there, too. Like, I would not be surprised if he went after Kachuk in this game early.

The whole fat Pat thing was Jack Edwards, who was the play, who was the play by play guy for the Bruins, called him fat Pat, and Pat maroon confronted him about it, and now he's a Bruin.

The thing about Kaczuk is he's not just going to fight anybody because he's valuable to his team. He's not going to let the 14th guy on Boston.

He's not the fighter.

He only fought because it was their best player. He's like, if Pasta wants to fight because Boston needs pasta, like, he's their best player by far.

Magic Chuck is the guy who starts the scrums, basically, and he skates.

He's the agitator. And then he doesn't actually fight usually, but this one, he's just like, if Pasta wants to fight, I'm in.

But you don't want Chucky fighting because he's too valuable to the team. To Chris's point, you can't have him fight.

Can't fight down, right, pasta?

I'm good because you can't fight down.

Worst case scenario, if those guys both go, that's a good thing. For the Panthers.

To be clear, pasta and Fat Pat are different people.

Yes. Is their best player.

Fat Pat is their fourth line player right now.

So Roy knows this. When the Oilers had their run and Wayne Gretzky was close to getting into a fight or. Or messier, any of those guys, the goons would come over and take care of business.

Yeah.

They didn't want Gretzky getting hurt. They wanted Gretzky on the ice.

That's why Chucky is so amazing, because he's everything.

Well, we're coming off of a playoff last season where he got hurt. He got hurt off of a hit. We don't need him get. I say we as if I'm part of t. We don't need the Panthers. Don't need him getting hurt based off a fight where he breaks his hand because he punched.

Yeah, but, dude, those moments, I get it. Obviously, I don't want Kerchuk to get hurt, but that moment where he fought pasta like that is. That's why Chucky is here.

Yeah. That's why. That's why he has the a on his sweater. That's why he's one of the captains.

I love him so much.

Should have the sea, though. Maybe.

No, no. That's Alexander.

You got mad at me. You got mad at me.

Chuck should get a ring if they win.

Kachuk is, I agree, very quickly, moving up the all time South Florida sports whoa list.

I don't think so.

I'm telling you, Kachuk, he's already. He might be already the number one panther of all time.

No, he's not.

Just in terms of crazy Beezer. It's not John Van Beezer.

You have to get to a Stanley cup. No, it's not get to a Stanley Cup.

I get bark off. Has been here longer. But I'm telling you, fans, I think fans would vote Chucky right now over Barkov.

I don't think you understand how Mount Rushmore works. So, like, here's how it works. I'm not an expert on presidents, but if I go to Mount Rushmore, I know who the presidents are. Doesn't mean they were the best presidents. Just means I know who they are when I war them on a mountain. I don't know. But in terms of panthers, you can't put a panther on there that, like the, you know, Layman doesn't know who they are.

I mean, most, I think Layman sports fans know.

Kachak, are there any marlins on the south Florida Mount Rushmore.

Jeff Cornheim.

No, get that out of here. Miguel Cabrera would be the only nomination.

I saw yesterday that Monty Harrison is going to play football at Arkansas. Did you guys see this story?

Seeing where all those guys are, that we traded that, that one trade that.

We made, we had that graphic the other day. Yellow straight is.

It's comical, right? Monty Harrison, who's playing college football, is the most successful.

Look right there. Okay, so here's Mount Rushmore. That's George Washington.

Right?

That's Monty Harrison. Okay. That's Abraham Lincoln. And that's Teddy Rose.

And then Matthew Kach.

Is that Thomas?

Jeff. So Matthew Chuck.

Right?

So I know them.

Good job.

Honestly, the second guy looks like magic and Chuck a little bit.

Maybe it is. Maybe they just knew. Yeah.

Jordan Yamamoto.

Jordan Yamamoto is a high school coach. Now.

There is room for a fifth right there, right? I mean, there seems to be.

Yeah. The rock.

Who would be the Marlin on the south floor.

Miguel Cabrera is number one marlin.

Well, I mean, if you're doing base.

They want two World Series.

I mean, I think that you would put on like Dontra Willis is like the most, one of the most popular ones. Jose Fernand is very popular.

Hernandez.

Yeah.

Best Marlin of all times.

We all.

Cabrera.

I mean, but we're not doing best of all time or just I think.

That thought that's exactly what we were doing.

Those are the four best presidents of all time.

Like the most iconic, I think is.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's why. Beezers on there for me.

No, no, no.

Do I really have to explain problematic South Florida.

Is he.

Yes.

Oh, no. Beezers on there. Well, apparently his issues around Marino, beezer Shula. Jimmy Johnson.

Okay, I'm gonna have to explain why John Bam Biez.

Hold on a second.

It.

Let me ask you guys a question. In this Mount Rushmore, because I'm new segment called changing the subject to save. Stu got in this. If we're doing a Mount Rushmore, take.

A piece or off. I thought kick saving a beer.

Thank you. You know, I was kick saving a beezer, which is why maybe he's on there.

He's not on there.

Anyway. So if you're doing a Mount Rushmore, Jimmy Johnson, do you have one per team? Like a panther, a marlin, a heat, and a whatever.

The fourth is just no goalies.

Dolphin. Yeah.

End of discussion.

The dolphin.

Wait, spin the wheel.

How about Messi Marino?

Oh, the beezer. We can't talk about it anymore.

Oh, that one was on purpose.

Guys, this has been a great show.

Oh, man, we had fun.

Yeah. Yeah, right? Yeah.

See you guys later.

Bye.

Don't say goodbye.

Oh, okay.

No, now is the time.

Bye.

It's on the wall.

Stu gatz here. For my friends over at simply safe. When you travel to concerns back home. Negative. Did you lock up? Did you leave a window open? That's why I recommend investing in Simplisafe home security today for award winning security and peace of mind, wherever your summer plans take you. I've had Simplisafe in my home for many years now. The peace of mind it gives me, especially during the summertime when I'm all over the place, is incredible because I know the things I care about, the things I value back home. I can always keep an eye on it using Simplisafe's indoor and outdoor cameras. So do me a favor. Before you head out on your next vacation, make sure to protect your whole home with Simplisafe variety of indoor and outdoor cameras. Plus, add sensors to detect break ins, fires, floods, and more. It's backed by 24/7 professional monitoring for less than a dollar a day, no contracts to worry about, and a 60 day money back guarantee. Simplisafe has given me and many of my listeners real peace of mind. I want you to have it, too. So right now, get 20% off any new Simplisafe system with FastProtect monitoring@simplisafe.com. DLB there's no safe like simplisafe.

Hey, listeners, it's Mike Ryan, and I've changed a lot. Over the course of 20 years that you've known me, I've gone from unlikable to, well, my hair has changed. But my point is, while a lot's changed over our relationship, there's one thing that hasn't changed one bit, and that's a great taste of Miller Lite. Another thing that hasn't changed is that it's less filling. So what's the best thing about the original light beer? Miller Lite has sparked this debate way back in 1975, and we still haven't settled it. They keep it simple. It's got undebatable quality, great taste, 96 calories, you know, all those things. It's a beer that strips everything away that you don't need and holds on what matters most. But with Miller Lite, you don't have to choose what's best. Miller Lite has great taste and is less filling. It's both those things. Tastes like Miller time to get Miller Lite delivered right to your door, visit millerlight.com Dan or you can find it pretty much anywhere that sells beer. Celebrate responsibly Miller Brewing Company Milwaukee, Wisconsin 96 calories per 12oz fewer cows and carbs than premium regular beer.