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Draftkings Network. Welcome to The Big Suie, presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Levitard podcast. I'm sorry. I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it. And now here's The marching man to nowhere, fatface, and the habitual liar. Billy, I don't think that I would necessarily describe you as gullible, but I would describe you as generally susceptible to a social media scam.

I can believe that.

Are both of those things the same? Are you someone who is gullible about social media scams? And next thing you know, you're making a flavorless, colorless gummy bear that is twice as large as the average gummy bear because someone told you on the internet to put it in your fridge for a while with some salt.

On it. Well, that did grow. It didn't grow to the size that it was supposed to, but I also took it out after a couple of days because it was taking up a lot of space in the refrigerator. I'm not 100 % convinced that if I wouldn't have followed that through for a month or a year or whatever, that it wouldn't have been the size of a 10-pound gummy bear. I didn't give up on that one. But Dan, I think.

That- You did give up on that one. You did give up.

On it. Well, technically, yes, but I wouldn't. You know what I mean?

Okay, because you haven't finalized the experiment.

Yeah, correct. No, I stopped on the experiment. I got enough information on that experiment.

It grew a little, not enough for your liking, and you just gave up on it. You will never go back to that experiment again. Well, I.

Don't know about that, but I also know that I don't rule what goes on in my refrigerator. When I'm taking up a substantial amount of space with this giant tupperware filled with water and a tiny gummy bear in it, and I'm told we need room for milk, then the gummy bear.

Has to go. The tupperware that you put the gummy bear in was for something eight feet by eight feet because you never knew how big this thing could be.

It's like a turtle. Yeah, it's like turtles grow to the size of their aquarium or whatever, the size of the thing that they're in. I don't know if you know that about turtles, but if you keep a turtle in a small thing, the turtle will stay small. If it's in a big open thing, the turtles can keep growing. I thought, You know what? If I want a big gummy bear, I'm going to have to have a giant home for this gummy bear.

It sounds like you have a pretty generally plentiful fridge if it doesn't have room for some gummy bear experiment. Your fridge seems like it might be fuller than my fridge.

Well, I don't like going to the store often, but I have to buy a lot of milk for children. I'll go and I'll buy three things of milk and I'll keep them in there because if not, I'm at the store every two days to get milk. I just go to B. J, load up because it's a dollar cheaper. B. J. Save three dollars, probably spend six dollars in gas to get there. But I saved the three dollars. Then I fill my fridge with 180 gallons of milk, and then I'm good. I had to get rid of the gummy bear. What you're asking me about, Dan, is that it seems like my phone has been listening to me again and says there's a sucker born every minute and that sucker is Billy Gill. I'm interested. I haven't committed to this yet, but I'm interested in this puzzle that's out there. Guys, there's this puzzle out there that when you build it, it's a QR code. When it's built, you scan said QR code, and it tells you how much money you've won because every puzzle is a winner. The million dollar puzzle. It's actually called the two million dollar puzzle.

Then I went to the website and the maximum price is $1 million, which I don't understand why it's called the $2 million dollar puzzle. It's this puzzle that you go and you buy. I think it's like $29 if you buy one or like $19 if you buy one. But if you buy it in bulk, you're saving money. And then when you build it, you're winning money. So it's a whole thing. Now, here's the thing about it. No one's won the million dollars yet, because obviously you're not going to ship out the million dollar puzzle right away because then no one's going to buy the puzzle anymore, right? I'm starting to think that most of the puzzles are one-dollar puzzles, but then you could buy a variety pack that's a four-pack or a 20-pack or whatever. And I'm starting to think that in those packs is where you could slowly win like, Oh, I spent $60 on puzzles. Here's a $3 winner. Here's a $7 winner, and you still don't get the $60. Now, this is my challenge to the $2 million puzzle. I'm interested in this, but as you've pointed out, I'm a bit skeptical.

I think Tony has heard about this too. I'm sure he might be skeptical as well. I'd like the $2 million puzzle to send us a puzzle worth like $50,000 that we can then scan and see, look, it's not just one-dollar winners. And then I feel like it's a good business investment for them, where they'd have us, credible people, vouching for them and their product saying, You know what? Look, Billy won actually $50,000. The winning puzzles are out there. He didn't win the million, that one's still out there. But send me 50k, 75k in a QR code puzzle, and I'm good to go.

According to their website, there are two puzzles with a million dollars inside. I guess that's why it's the two-million-dollar puzzle. There's one with $500,000, two with $250,000, and so on until there are 597,720 puzzles with one dollar inside.

Okay, credible people is what you called us while dressed in a.

Way- I'm a newsman.

-that you guys are. I'm a newsman.

We're in suits.

I do like the evolution of the puzzle to have a prize that is money. I did not know that the puzzle could evolve. Puzzles made a comeback during the pandemic, during the isolation of the pandemic. Puzzles made a comeback as a business. I do like the idea of adding money to it. You add some technology to it to modernize it. But if you make it all a dollar, that's not going to work. It's got to be more random than that. There's got to be bigger prizes more often.

Dollar doesn't scratch my itch, Dano. But you're talking about 500 grand? You're talking about a million? What if the puzzles went up.

In pieces?

The more money there is. There's a million-dollar puzzle, but it's also a.

Million pieces.

Would you do it? Yeah, you'd buy them a million pieces. Would you do it, though? Yeah, I would.

How do.

You put a.

Million-piece puzzle? Where do you put.

It in your backyard?

You're just building it?

Well, the birds might eat some of the pieces if you do that. Do you guys do the very elaborate scratch-off games? Like yesterday, I came home and Lehman was doing scratch-off bingo.

Wow, there's a look into your future.

How does that work?

I have no idea, but it looked very elaborate. I love scratch-offs. I recently won $50 on a scratch-off ticket.

Take me now.

Can I explain to you, Jessica, Lehman is a sweet, creative person, and he loves the outdoors. Your future is possibly a fisherman coming from outside doing scratch off things with his nighttime, and that being a wild, elderly romp.

For him. This was in the middle of the day, Dad. He gets me a scratch off every time I go to publics, which, like Billy was saying, is like every other day. But he loves scratch offs. And recently I feel like this was a little bit of, I guess, good karma, you could say, because my grandma was looking for pork neck bones to make her gravy, her Sunday gravy, when I was with her over Thanksgiving, and we couldn't find them anywhere. I called eight different butchers to see if they had pork neck bones, and all they had were occasionally beef neck bones or no neck bones at all, but she needed pork. I kept calling. I kept calling. And finally, I found a public a few miles away that had pork neck bone. We went and we got the pork neck bones after stopping at all these different butchers, calling all these different butchers. And she was so happy and we were like, Wow, I can't believe we found them, let's get a scratch off. And so we got a scratch off, $50. Boom.

We paid for all those.

Neck bones. Did it pay for all the pork neck bones? Yes, it did. Did it pay for.

All the pork neck bones? Yes, it did. Port neck.

Bones, not very expensive.

Not.

Expensive. Except for the stock.

Billy, what just happened with you and Jeremy?

We're doing a lot of math back here to figure out exactly how much money this company is making by selling these puzzles for $30 each. And then we're seeing, what if we buy a bundle for $125, we get 10 puzzles, how much money they're making if everybody buys a 10 bundle, and how much money they're actually giving away. Lots of math.

Being done back there. Well, I was hoping in our previous incarnation of developing a company that has its own.

Following- That would give away puzzles?

No, I was hoping that advertisements and sponsorship opportunities would make an appearance like that, that organically, where you're telling the puzzle company, Hey, you want to advertise with a group of people who tend to support what it is you're advertising? I've got the team from Anchorman here, and they're ready to advertise on behalf of your puzzle. But where's our sales staff to do that? Why aren't we aggressively doing that?

Where's David Samson?

Where can you guys get the puzzle that you want that makes you $50,000?

Well, there's no 50,000. So we'll have to settle for the 100,000. Yeah, because we're not going to 10,000. That's silly. We're not for sale for $10,000.

Our show's relationship with sales is always, Why don't they give us money? We like the thing. We talked about the thing, give us money. That's right.

Guys, there's only three hours before the delivery cutoff for Christmas on this puzzle, so we got to get this going right now. Fieldman?

Fieldman, let's go. Let's do some moving or some shaking. Let's make something happen here.

Get me a puzzle, Fieldman.

I have not yet caught up to the most recent episode of Hard Knock. I have enjoyed Hard Knocks, but what do the group of you do with the following? Tyree Kille came here to get stardom and to sports-wash some of his past, and he's largely done that, where he is a star talking about him for MVP. Very few people bring up horrifying details about his domestic abuse past. It seems like sports has moved on to celebrate Tyrake Hill for being super fast. We moved on like him fast.

Yeah, because he scored a lot of touchdowns. That's right. Now he's being featured on Hard Knocks, which you can also find on Max, just like us.

That's correct. As he's being featured, the one I saw, I haven't seen the most recent ones, was a very loving look. The optics were chef's kiss on what I would want. If I were his agent or anyone who cared about Ty reed Hill, that's what I would want. Go into his living room, watch him connecting with his new bride, tell the story of love, and don't touch too much on anything from the past. But now you're seeing reports of two paternity suits, three children in this year, and seven children overall. I'm asking you genuinely as this whole climate of media and documentary changes so that the access, which you get in exchange for Tyree, kill and access to him, is you're going to tell the story the way he wants it told, the way the NFL wants it told. But what do you do with those headlines up.

Against that? I'm just learning about these headlines, by the way. It's not something that I've even seen on social media. I don't really do much because, I mean, what I do with paternity suits is I let those things play off. I think very much that falls in line with private life. If there was illegalities involved, I think that is worth a discussion. But he's newly married, too. I think when we apply context there, that matters. I don't really have much to say about Tyree Kill in this latest news stream. I have, as someone that's experiencing this from afar and seen plenty of people, how can you not root on this offense? He's at the forefront of it. A lot of people forgot. A lot of people who felt strongly about the Dolphins' pursuit or reported pursuit of DeShan Watson. Not that these are the same things, or cheering on Tyree Kill as he rushes into the end zone. Being faster than everybody else. It's just vandom.

When I see these headlines, though, and I see the max story, one of them seems true, the other does not.

Don't let me try. God doesn't even know what this list is. But he was ahead of Tom braided, who also won a playoff game.

A.

Couple, yeah. That was literally the most confusing list we've ever done.

On this. T-bow's got a better shot of.

Coming back. Give him a chance.

He's got a chance. I'm mad.

I'm angry. I want to leave.

Still got to. This would have been your day. You should own the sports media landscape right now.

I am top seven guys. I would not want the judge.

No, no, no.

No, I'm.

Not allowing it. Give him.

A chance, guys.

No, I'm not giving him a chance. I'm giving them 20 years. It's a hard for you. I'm giving.

Them my prime. This is the Dan Levator Show with the Stugats.

All right, I'm going to mic Dan. Almost have the whole outfit unravel there. Jess, you're going to have to be mic-ing, Dan. I can't be reaching over the board like that. This outfit has to make it till two o'clock.

You are a mess. What's the matter with you? You're wearing that burgundy. You're wearing the-.

I've gained a lot of weight since what most people in our audience might describe as my heyday. The good news for me is I've lost 25 pounds. Thank you, O'Zempic. But I've plateaued in its holiday season. I've bulked up too. The good news is the pants actually fit well. It's just everything else, it's a little tight.

You're squeezed into it. Jessica, have you noticed? He's moving very rigidly. Who's the best? Did you guys have a contest between who goes first through fourth on how good your.

Costumes are? You're so horny for us right now.

It's crazy. I'm actually now feeling very relieved my Veronica Corningstone costume didn't come in time.

That's too bad. I didn't realize it was supposed to be five of you.

Yeah, it is too bad. I bet you do think it's too bad. Dan was just in the corner taking pictures. It was weird.

To send to McKay, I thought he would be flattered. His response was, That's how my soul feels.

Sounds like a Hollywood cabal.

It's definitely on the dark, sir, right now. That's pretty cool.

What does.

That actually mean? That's how my soul feels? I don't know, but I'm checking flight logs right now.

He's very worried about everything. He is worried about the climate. He's worried about politics, and he's hurting in general. But I would say to you, when Stugatz is now paying attention to the climate, and Stugatz is sending me texts about the ocean floor springing a leak?

Which way?

Up or down?

Well, there are bubbles coming up, so I'm going to assume it's up. It's tectonic plates that have shifted, and now water that isn't supposed to be... You know, No, it's not supposed to be an ocean floor with a leak. It's not actually a leak. What it is is a spring. So it's sprung a spring, the ocean floor has, and it brings the potential for earthquake.

Billy, do you think Such just watched the Meg? Because this is the plot line to the Meg.

Was the Megh too good?

I can't stop. The trench. I cannot stop stopping on it. If I'm flipping through the channels, I will stop every time because, okay, here's Statham, and he's on a jet ski, and a giant, giant shark. Okay, you got me.

I'm sorry. This is also historically in Cinema how a kaijo appears.

The Megh trailers are great because it looks like it's going to be a really, really scary movie, and then a giant shark appears. Yeah.

Do you guys think that the shark movie was made correctly the first time, and every single time after that has been less than the first time? Do you believe that Jaws, the original, is the best of the genre? 50 years of genre that it has spawned?

Jaws sucks.

Jawsucks. What? No, it's Jaws.

I don't think it's aged well, animatronically.

Not at all.

I mean, the shark looks.

Really fake. They build some great suspense, and they did the music well. They did the genre well, like you said. But overall, we could probably continue to make more.

No one's done better. What's the better shark movie?

The.

Meg Two? The Meg Two. Oh, thank you, Tony.

Sharknado Two, Sharknado Three, Sharknado Four. Rounders.

They birthed the genre.

They didn't invent sharks.

Just because you got their first.

Doesn't mean it's the best. Exactly.

I didn't say they invented sharks. They invented sharks as a reason to further tell shark stories. I'm stunned to hear you guys say that Jaws sucks. Put it on the pole. Does Jaws hold up and put it on the pole as well. Does Jaws still represent the best of the shark genre?

Here's the thing. If you have a movie that can transcend.

Time.

Your ride at Universal or at.

Disney will stay there.

All of a sudden, guess what's not there anymore?

Jaws. Why? Jaws is gone? Because it sucks. It scared the hell out of me as a kid, though.

Wait, what did they put there?

Now it's like the train station for the Harry.

Potter trip. Yeah, it's like it should be.

To be fair, though, that particular thing at Disney World felt dated just like the shark in Jaws. But it felt like it was out of the 90s. It was modern for the 90s, but it wasn't modern anymore.

Man, if I could go back to the 1992 version of Universal Studios, I would sign up for that in a heartbeat. It was a perfect park.

I'm with you on that, actually. The Jurassic Park ride is still there, right? Yeah. See? There you go.

There's a new Jurassic World.

Ride, too.

Is there? Yeah, it's a roller coaster. It's really great.

Et is still there, but ET can't contractually ever leave.

That's right. It's a fascinating part about that. Yeah, They can't, and Lord knows they probably wanted to, they cannot because of the deal that they made with Spielberg, get rid of that ride. However, just adjacent to it, they're revamping that whole, like bifal, playland, and curious storage into a Dreamworks land. Let's not forget, Universal's Epic Universe, a whole new park, a whole brand new park with several islands. That's not Islands of adventure that's going to be debuting, I.

Think, in 2025. Do you think they regret that name? Because they named it when Epic was a thing, and then they named it Epic Universe, and it's been years. They've just been under construction and no one says Epic anymore.

Billy, is there anything? -it's pretty cheugy. You miss more from Disney than the ability to get free into these parks now that you.

Have this? On Fleak Universe?

There's nothing I miss more, and I tied my children very poorly because I lost my Disney passes, and it is quite pricey to take your children to the parks. But you know what I was thinking, Dan? Now that the suits are in town, maybe that's a perk we can add next year. You know what I mean? This is the end of the year. This is one of those things we talk about. Maybe everyone just gets annual passes to theme parks as part of their arrangement.

How about we get a 401(k) match first, Billy?

Is the mummy still there?

Yes. The Mummy is such a great roller coaster. A little sad though.

So underrated. And also, they had already tried to reboot the franchise with Tom Cruise, and that failed. So it's weird seeing skinny Brendan Fraser.

But he's an Oscar winner now, so how can you get rid of an Oscar winners ride? What's your rip-rise rocket song? Everybody on three. 1, 2, 3.

Shiny-toy guns, Ludisco.

Paralyzer by finger-11.

Billy, go sit in the.

Penalty box, Billy.

I don't think I understand the question. I also did Sabotage by BC Boys. That's one of the options. Did you.

Know you can get secret songs if you hold down one of the buttons for 10 seconds? It unlocks a whole other selection of songs. It's awesome. Yeah, there's a whole bunch of disco songs. It's great. -get out of town, JP-Dashay. -rip, ride, Rocket.

It's the most Florida segment that we've ever.

Done on this show. -it's so great.

-billy, get.

Out of here. Why?

Somebody writes in, What's up with people wearing costumes on this show?

You don't get.

This.

Show.

We're forced to against our will. All to play to our boss's kinks.

Can you get for me, please, the still shot of Brian Kelly attempting to do the Heisman pose? I will get to that in a second. But before we do so, I just wanted to tackle something else that someone has written in. I'd like to know. I genuinely like to know what the audience, especially the audience, given that most of it has come with us and is just generally aligned with who we are. Otherwise, why the hell are you listening to this thing every day? But someone writes in, Everything anyone on the show ever says politically comes from whatever the media safe, center, left line of the day is. They never have anything to say that is different or contrary to that in any way in either political direction, away from whatever the media safe, perfectly politically correct line of the day is. Times. They think people hate their politics because they're freedom fighters, but really, they're just extremely boring and unoriginal when talking politics. I would cop to that. Actually, I would say to you that my politics are simply, and I don't understand how it is that it gets distorted, can we be decent and not racist and sexist to people?

That's what passes for a political stance from me now, these days. That where I am consistently is just there. It's like, Okay, we disagree on vaccines and max is okay, but science told me that the best for community good was to, I'm sorry, make you feel pressured when you didn't want to put something in your body. And that stinks. I understand how you wouldn't want someone like me telling you what to put in your body because science tells me that it's for the greater community good. But am I wrong when I say that the politics of mine or what gets extended to our show is some form of can we just be pro-decenty to people?

I personally am not overtly political. It's just things like truth and decency have since become politicized. I will tell you flatly, it's because the right has just thumbed its nose at things like fact-based media and at times science, although we're quite removed from that discussion, and I don't want to conflate the two things. But yeah, I'm all about being decent to people, and it seems as though the platforms increasingly on one side of the spectrum don't really care for that. So yeah, I guess I'm political now because social issues are deemed political ones.

Okay, but I'm virtue signaling and I'm grandstanding by saying just can we be nice to others, people that maybe don't come from the same places or the same backgrounds as you? Can we, if you object to me saying, Hey, can we be equal? Not threatening you, not yelling at anybody. If you object to the idea of, Can we all be equal? Then can we agree on a working standard for what it is to be decent to others? I feel like my political stance is basically, Hey, don't be an asshole to the server. Just don't be an asshole to the restaurant server.

Is this all because of that loser Aaron Rogers?

Well.

You're not helping me. Is that why I came in? Justice for nick Botton, by the way. The only thing we could say good about Rogers yesterday was, Oh, he's a good teammate. He's been helping everybody out. You know what? Someone got cut yesterday because he wants to hang out and look cool at practice. It's ridiculous.

You're not helping matters.

I think it's going to be cool when he trots on the field that week 18 to throw a seven-minute slant.

A bubble screen.

Yeah, but that is a massive achievement. We've never seen someone tear their Achilles within one year. It's going to be cool to see. I can separate some of that stuff when it comes to Aaron. It is a pretty cool achievement if he does it. I wouldn't call.

Him a loser. You're not helping.

Matters, Jeremy. He's a Super Bowl champion.

Yeah, it's cool. He's good at his job.

He's a loser. Oh, stop it. It's not biased whatsoever, Jeremy. Don't worry. He's not a loser. I just don't agree with a lot of the things.

He says. He likes attention. Can we all agree on that?

He loves having his name in the news cycle.

To lie.

To us. Unscretinized attention. Over and over.

Okay.

He doesn't like.

Some attention. -i would accuse everyone on the show of that. Why did we get into the vanity business? I'd accuse.

Every single. I don't know what you're talking about, Dan. This is selfless. I wear a costume every day, not for attention.

Whenever I'm asked about whether or not it bothers me that people come up because they think they know you on television. I'm like, Well, if I didn't want that, I wouldn't be on television. We all like some form of attention.

But don't talk to Mike if you see him.

Ever. Stop. Don't interrupt my dinners. That's a new thing. Stop it.

Interrupt your dinner's.

Level of fame? Yeah. I've got a nice gentleman in a Buzz Lightyear hoodie who's probably listening to this right now, and I'm sorry.

Disney Springs?

No, this was at the other Mexican restaurant in Upcott, the one that was Bayside. My wife was talking about my daughter's bathroom habits, and a gentleman in a Buzz Lightyear hoodie was looking at her. I was hanging on every word about this conversation about poop. My wife just, in the distance says, Are you looking at me that way because I just spelled out the word poop. A guy in a Buzz Lightyear hoodie says, No, I'm sorry. I know you don't like this, and I know you're having dinner. But I'm a huge fan of the show. I turned to him and I said, No, it's okay, man. Yet you're here.

All right, be decent to people, as I mentioned. Billy also, I laughed because as Mike was seriously giving his point on politics, dressed as anchorman, you and the background, were in the penalty box dancing in front of Universal.

Don Lebertard. We got a Freeney Hardaway.

Who is a Freeney? Who is a Freeney Hardaway?

I was trying to read fast. You, D, was on the team. Luke Jackson, Bobby Jones, The Matrix, Sean Marion, Stugats, Zoh, Shaqs.

Smush, Parker.

Chris Quinn, D-Wade, Jason Williams.

Darrell Wright.

I mean, stacked roster. Dc The Unlevered our show with the Stugats.

Can you mic that, Dan?

Please. No, I know. It's not his fault. I'm not.

Blaming him. Jess, can you please? Jesus Christ.

Can you guys be ready and help Mike back there, please? Because Mike is under it right now. Lucy, what are you making faces about here?

I'm just a girl, Dan.

You're asking a lot for me today. Okay, all right. I don't feel like I've asked for that much, but Mike Ryan is in a sausage suit, a burgundy sausage suit that is very tight. What are you laughing about, Tony? Sausage suit. I mean, it is. He looks- The color of a sausage suit. But also, he's uncomfortable in it. He's moving around in what feels like sausage skin that's going to break, correct? You feel like it's also a cheap costume, is it not? It's like that's.

Not- This one's not too bad, but I don't like being at work and in costume. I think you've gathered that from my lack of participation. It's not my favorite thing. I like to be comfortable at work. I'm very uncomfortable right now, although my posture is impeccable.

Lucy, Jessica, I don't know if Anchorman is something that's before your time. I think there were a handful of people saying that they had not seen Anchorman in the other room. Do you guys have a ranking system on who looks best here, who's produced the best costume?

I think it would be Tony, right? Yeah. Yeah, I feel like Tony is.

Clear number one. If there's a way for us to make this a contest and call that a day, I'm good. Yeah.

Tony wins. We need to see.

Okay. No, that's not how it works. No, it's four hours of punishment.

I want to see Jerber again with the wig on. Yeah.

We will do that in a moment. I have to... I do have to tell the group something. Say less. In general, I think that's something people would like from me lately. I have to tell the group about something that I believe you guys will be shocked by, even though it's very hard to shock you when it comes to Stugart's bad behavior. I've got an investigation I'm conducting now that the suits are in town for the holidays and stuff. I've learned something. What are you shaking your head about, Billy?

I just don't want to hear it.

Whatever it is. I think you're going to be shocked by it, too, but perhaps you won't be. Perhaps you guys will marvel at the.

General drift. I have something that you may be shocked by that we can talk about off air that I found out last week. Double shock? Yeah.

Does it have to be off air? Can it be on air? Do we run the risk of really pissing Stugat's off because some of his behavior is.

So bad? He's gone until a couple of weeks from now, so I don't think he's going to hear it.

Okay. You don't think he's listening intently, caring about the show deeply when he's away?

No. I think we were both victims of the old switcheroo from him on the same day, last week.

One day. Oh, no. He has been doing lately the move that I did in college, where I would miss classes because I was working for the newspaper, but I would also tell the newspaper I had classes. I think what Stugatz has been consistently doing is getting out of here early or cutting corners by telling me he has something that he has to do for you and telling you that he has something he has to do for me when neither of those things.

Are true. Absolutely correct, because that happened last Thursday, I believe, where I was called very early by him for an interview that shall remain nameless at the time. And he said, Hey, I know we have something... Because here's the thing. I try to be very conscientious of the main show and the schedule, and I try to schedule things as far out as possible while also within a certain window. And obviously, sometimes things come up at the last minute. Then we have certain conflicts, whatever. But I try to schedule everything as far off as possible to give us wheel room, give him travel time should he choose to go home. So this was one of those times where we had something scheduled at two o'clock and you guys were doing something at one o'clock and he's like, Hey, buddy, I'm going to need you to do that interview by yourself if you can. It really saved me. Dan really wants me to stay for this interview, and I'm going to help him with this. It really would mean a lot. I was like, Okay, fine. I'm a little peeved and a little irked. By the way, spoiler or for Godless, Footballs Two Guys doesn't know what the word irked means, and I learned that this morning because he compared it to when you go to a haunted house and the ghost comes out and you get irked.

I was a little bit irked at the moment about this situation. Then later on, we had another situation with an interview. Then when we were recording something the next day, someone says something like, Oh, you weren't there for that. I go, What do you mean he wasn't there for that? He told me he couldn't do this because he was thinking like, No, buddy, I told you that I didn't… This whole thing. Then this is the first time we're having this conversation. The reason I think that he missed that was to do something with me that he missed because he was doing something with you.

I feel genuinely bad for Billy on a number of different fronts here. I will reveal company business in ways that might be uncomfortable. Before I get to really revealing company business, get me John Reed from Video because I need to ask him some questions in front of you guys to, I believe, shock all of you because I couldn't believe it when the suits came in and explain this to me. But, Billy, one of the reasons I feel bad for Billy is because Billy, it's not just chasing Stugats around, is that Billy has really tried because the last 18 months have been hard on me to leave me out of all of the things that have been happening that make Billy have a lesser standing with the executives around here because- I.

Don't know where this is going, but let's talk to John Reed. He's in here.

Stugatza's shit sticks to Billy, and poor Billy ends up getting drowned in it. Yes, John, you are now here. And what I want to know is, what can you tell me about Stugats's secret Santa white elephant gift. We did it at the holiday party. That may have been the day, Billy. That may have been the day that Stugatza left early because he missed the holiday party. But he did manage to do something at the holiday party to make his presence felt and to cost the company money.

Well, I had never planned on telling you anything prior to now and seeing all the executives here in town receiving an email from accounting, and I'm ready to snitch.

Okay, yeah. I'm sorry to put you in this position. Wait, what happened? Yeah, well, hold on. He told.

Everyone, by the way, that you told him he didn't have to stay for the holiday party.

Well, he asked to leave, and I told him that. That's not how it was presented. I mean, big surprise.

None of this is surprising so far. He's a rap scally.

No, but what about this part? I think this part is going to be surprising because this part was even surprising to me. I've lived with this for 20 years. Look at Jessica. Jessica, what do you want this to be? I want some dramatic buildup here because, John, I appreciate you snitching here because the way this information got to me, my mouth was just hanging open because I couldn't believe the shamelessness of it. Billy, why is.

You're- I want gossip, drama, mess.

That's what I want. This could be anything.

Okay, well, let's take some before. Let's milk this a little bit. Go ahead, Mike.

You've got- Well, you're asking for guesses. I think he tried to expense his.

Holiday present.

100%. I'm with that too.

Well, what was his holiday present? He wasn't here. He did not participate in the white elephant.

Well, that's the twist. I think he bought a present and decided to keep it for himself and still try to.

Expense it. We workshopped an idea for him earlier in the day because he didn't have a present where he was going to take one loose cigarette and put it in an envelope and make that his white elephant gift, which honestly would have been great. But I don't think that ended up happening.

Okay, just so that people know, the holiday party was lovely. It actually felt like a happy company place where music was playing. Greg Cody got his gift stolen 10 different times. Somehow I've never seen that happy and happened before. Security card Frankie just reminded everyone at every turn that they could steal the gift. But in the of this, what was the gift that Stugat's eventually either had or submitted? Does anyone remember which Stugat's gift there was? Because I do not remember his presence being felt there in any way.

There should have been two gifts, a Tony Kukoat jersey and a bunch of candles from bed, bath, and beyond.

Well, this is one of the things that happened that delighted me with Greg Cody. It's not just that he got his gift stolen 10 times. It's that he ended up with a candle at the end, which is the most thoughtless way to go by gift giving. I love candles.

Sean bought those.

Candles are better for you. No, I love candles. It's just an easy way to buy anyone in the world a gift without having to know that person at all. I like.

Candles, too. But in a white elephant, you don't know who's getting the gift. So it's a good generic, Here's a candle.

Spoken like someone who.

Bought a candle. I bought a candle and then stole it back because I wanted the candle that I bought.

That is correct. They're lovely. I'm just saying, every year with my wife, I'm deciding, Well, what do we get that person who wants to think that we were thinking about them, but we.

Really weren't? But you buy those candles that have the diamonds inside of them.

Oh, no, the giant candles are nice. The big giant candles are absolutely a.

Thoughtful gift. Dan has candles that are a size we.

Couldn't dream of. That is correct. Giant candles. So many wicks. John, can you explain to me, though, how you got ensnaired in this particular web? I don't understand how you're involved with any of this.

I ran it to Stugots in the kitchen, and he basically had me to go out and purchase two gifts for him for the White.

Elephant party. Like you're his administrative assistant? Yes.

But I didn't mind at the time, but now I realize it was bad.

Okay, so wait a minute. Wait a minute. He ensnaired you in something that feels a bit like a crime now. You're an accomplice to a crime. I didn't even realize it reached this deep. He sent you on an assignment and didn't give you any money.

Basically, I created digital fraud by using the company's credit card, by buying a gift, which I was supposed to use my personal card, and I screwed up. It was a screw up.

Okay, so now this is even more information than I knew. Stop giving this information. No, he's not.

The boss is.

A hit. As John's attorney right now, de facto, he is not going to say another word, Dan.

You look like an attorney, allegedly.

I'm sorry I put you in this position.

Personal injury attorney, Tony.

You will not be saying another word. Wait, hold on. Dan, grant him immunity so we can get the story.

-dano?

-dan, come on. -it's your talk. -grant him immunity. -give him immunity. -d-gant him immunity. -then we'll get all the information. -all immunity of-Clear immunity on everything.

What are you.

Looking at me? If he stole a cat at some point, whatever.

All immunity. Just physically uncomfortable. I feel like if someone shot me, the bullet would bounce off. That's how tight this.

Outfit is. You're physically uncomfortable, not with the story that you're presently telling.

I can't physically squirm because of how tight this costume is, but I would be.

I'm really irked right now. I have to gather myself. Immunity. I'm not giving it yet, and I'm not giving it that easily for a certain reason. We'll train something else.

I'm really bothered by Sugach just approaching John Reed and saying, Hey, go fetch me.

It's unbelievable. But you understand that I am presently getting more information than I had. I thought this was one very simple thing. I did not think it rose to the level of crime. Immunity. I did not think it rose to the level of John Reed being in both administrative assistant and possibly milking the company money on gifts that I have yet not seen and don't know how expensive they are.

By the way, I'm willing to pay for this and put it on my own card.

Wait until we get immunity. That's it.

Can I get dramatic music, Mike? This is now escalated to an even better place than I thought. We find out if Stugass is in Stair John Reed in a crime next.