I want to express this so profoundly. I love that you just said, it's my favorite topic ever on any show I've ever done, and no one's ever talked to me about this before. I've conflated in my life too many times the difference between significance and love. And so when I was a little boy, actually, when I was a big boy, even now, I felt loved if I did something significant. So if I brought home straight A's, Eddie, we're so proud of you. Or if I hit a home run, or I got big muscles, or I made hundreds of millions of dollars, or I had an island, or I got a jet, or whatever it was, that recognition felt like love, but it's a reduced version of it. So all my life, I've been trying to earn it and earn it. And the truth is, I'm just realizing now, I don't have to earn it. It's my birthright. God gave it to me.

I want to talk to you. I want to ask you something I've never asked you before. Okay. Not even in our regular conversations. I've never asked you about this before.

Oh, whoa. I've never been asked that one. Wow, wow, wow. Okay, you're amazing. Now you're going to make me really emotional, but to just melt back down and cool back down to what I was worth. I'll never forget the day because I literally watched my dreams walk out the door. But the moment was bigger than my worthiness in that moment. Wow, look at you.

Athletes, the best athletes in the world. I know that you coach presidents of world leaders. You coach so many different people to overcome their limiting beliefs.

Believe it or not, it's their confidence or their worthiness level.

I remember asking you, What is it? And you said that you can see God in that person.

That's correct.

Every single person. Yeah. And that shifted me.

See, people think, oh, a gift is I look like Beyoncé, or I sing like Beyoncé, or I'm strong like the Rock, Dwayne Johnson. Those are gifts because they're very visible gifts. But most human beings' gifts are subtle and quiet and beautiful. It's their nurturing ability. It's their kindness. It's their intention. It's their humor. It's their intellect. It's their problem-solving ability. It's their resiliency. It's their toughness. It's their faith. It's their strength.

It is impossible to see God in them and judge them at the same time. Oh, I love you.

That's exactly right. And I'm watching them all of a sudden not feel judged by you, so now they feel safe.

All right, this is going to get controversial. This is going to get controversial. You have said, One of the most insidious forms of child neglect is a parent that does not go after their dreams. Yeah.

I think you're neglecting your children when you don't pursue your dreams and your potential.

That's big what you just said, because a lot of people say, Well, I'm really good at loving my kids. That's enough. You're saying, Oh, but it's actually caught. It's caught. Not taught. And if they don't see you loving you.

Say this because I've never said this on any show before, but it's you, so I'll say it. I can't believe I'm saying this with you now.

For everyone listening, just just holding out for hope or for love in their life, would you mind just taking a moment and just speaking into them?

And in your life, you're qualified to help anybody that you used to be. And so if you've been in pain and you're in a little bit less pain, you can help people in pain. If you've not believed in your sofa a little while, maybe you believe just a little bit more today, you can help people who need that belief. I've done that good. I've done that really good with my kids. I've done that really good with them. I would just recommend to everybody, if you have a chance to tell another human being about them, tell them. God chose you to change the world. That's what kept my head when we were talking today. That's what I was thinking. He's going to use you a lot of different ways. It's not just a speaking, it's this, too. You're doing something here. I've never cried like that. Every time I ever cried in an interview is when you interviewed me. Only two times ever. You need to be doing this. Look at No one's crying in here, by the way.

Before we jump into this episode, I'd love to invite you to join this community to hear more interviews and one-on-one conversations with me and you to help you truly believe in yourself, trust yourself, and know you are enough so that you can become unstable in living your best life. I love your support. It's incredible to see your comments and how many of you are sharing these episodes with everyone else. And I'm just so grateful to be here for you, and I'm so excited to go on this journey with you. It means so much to me. Who you spend time around is so important as energy is contagious, and so is self-belief. And I'd love to hang out with you even more, especially if you could use an extra dose of inspiration, which is exactly why I've created my free weekly newsletter that's also a love letter to you, delivered straight to your inbox each and every Tuesday morning from me. If you haven't signed up to make sure that you get it each week, just go to jamiekernleema. Com to make sure you're on the list, and you'll get your one-on-one with Jamie weekly newsletter and get ready to believe in you.

If you're tired of hearing the bad news every single day and need some inspiration, some tips, tools, joy, and love hitting your inbox I'm Your Girl. Subscribe at jamiekernleema. Com or in the link in the show notes. In life, you don't soar to the level of your hopes and dreams. You stay stuck at the level of your self-worth. When you build your self-worth, you change your entire life. And that's exactly why I wrote my new book, Worthy: How to Believe You are Enough and Transform Your Life for You. If you have some self-doubt to destroy, and a destiny to fulfill, worthy is for you. In worthy, you'll learn proven tools and simple steps that bring life-changing results, like how to get unstuck from the things holding you back, build unshakable self-love, unlear the lies that lead to self-doubt, and embrace the truths that wake up worthiness, overcome limiting beliefs and imposter syndrome, achieve your hopes and dream names by believing you are worthy of them and so much more. Are you ready to unleash your greatness and step into the person you were born to be? Imagine a life with zero self-doubt and unshakable self-worth.

Get your copy of worthy, plus some amazing thank you bonus gifts for you at worthybook. Com or the link in the show notes below. Imagine what you do if you fully believed in you. It's time to find out with worthy.

Jamie Kern-Lema is her name.

Everybody needs Jamie Kern-Lema in their life. Jamie Kern-Lema. Jamie, you're so inspiring. Jamie Kern-Lema. He's been named the top performance and mindset coach in the world by USA Today. He's a renowned global entrepreneur entrepreneur, a best-selling author, host of The Ed Milet Show, which is now one of the fastest-growing and most successful podcasts on the planet. He goes from sharing hardcore winning life and business strategies with his millions of followers online to having full-out conversations with his three Pomeranians, Daisy, Lily, and Rose on Instagram. He is one of the very few people on the planet I call when I need to be reminded of the greatness that's in me on the I am tempted to forget it. And today, he's going to ignite the greatness that is in you. He is one of my dear friends, and today, he's here to be one of yours. All right, this is going to get controversial. This is going to get controversial. You have said, One of the most insidious forms of child neglect is a parent that does not go after their dreams. Yeah.

Well, That sounds harsh, but I just really believe it's true. So when my book came out, a girl that I love, I went to high school with, actually, elementary school with, called me. She was like, I'm so proud of you. You're your book, and you got a TV show. I said, Well, thank you. She goes, It's just how you overcame all that neglect as a child. By the way, I had a great family. I want to make sure I qualify that. I have an unbelievable mom, and my dad was awesome, but there was definitely some neglect in there. I told her, I said, I won't say her name, but I said, Can I be honest I think you neglect your kids.

You said this to the person who called you? Yeah. Okay.

She got really quiet. She said, What do you mean? We've been married for 25 years. I don't even drink. We're happily married. I said, Listen, I won't say her name, but I said, I think one of the most insidious forms, invisible, insidious forms of child neglect, is a child who's being raised by a parent who's not in pursuit of their dreams or their potential. And she's like, Oh, my gosh. I said, it's just, listen, you say your daughter's a sweetheart, you can be whatever you want to be. At some point, your daughter is going to look at you and say, Mama, why aren't you? You can look at your son and say, You're going to be so happy, son, and you're going to live a blissful life. Why don't you, Daddy? Your kids, at some point, they're always going to love you. You're their parents. But they do figure out who you are eventually. And they're the ones with you when you're driving them to school in the morning and they can see you in the rear view mirror. They don't care whether you're rich. They don't care about that. But they do care whether you're truly happy.

Most things as a child are caught, not taught. We catch things from our parents. And one of the things we often catch from them is their emotional well-being, their emotional home. You may end up with a different life, but they catch it. And so they know whether you're happy. They know whether you're making a difference. They know whether you're contributing. Because people that are contributing and making a difference are happy. And people who aren't, aren't so happy. And so you're neglecting your children when you don't pursue hard things in your life. They catch from you. One thing I did learn from my dad is hard work. I learned it was good to achieve and do hard things in my life. And I just feel like there's so many people out there that are oblivious to the fact that you're cheating your kids out of something really special because they're never going to know who you could have been. That whole thing of when I get to heaven, I want to be the ultimate version of me. I want my kids to see that. I don't think my kids care whether I have money or not, but I do think they care whether Daddy's trying his best, whether there's some joy and some laughter in Daddy's life.

I think they figure out whether Daddy loves Daddy. I think they figure that out. And if you're raised by someone or you're raising someone, and you're not giving your children the gift of you loving you because they catch this from you. You can't teach them that. You have to show them that because it's caught, not taught. And so when a child is raised by a parent who truly loves themselves, who's truly happy and blissful or truly faithful, they catch that. When they're raised by someone who's not, no matter what else you teach them, they catch that. That's what I mean by, I think you're neglecting your children when you don't pursue your dreams and your potential. That's a harsh thing, but I say that because for this reason, we'll go back to what we said earlier, I know how much you love your children, and I know you don't want to have that happen for them. So if I could link it to your kids, I can get you to change. It also just happens to be true.

And learning to love yourself, that's big what you just said, because a lot of people say, Well, I'm really good at loving my kids. That's enough. You're saying, Oh, but it's actually caught. It's caught. Not taught. And if they don't see you loving you, which a lot of people think, Oh, that's selfish. I don't need to love me. But that's everything.

It's the thing. I got to tell you, and I only say this because I've never said this on any show before, but it's you, so I'll say it. I've neglected my kids that way. That one's for me. I'm really good at loving other people. I'm good at that. I'm not so good in letting myself feel it, not only just from me, but even from other people who truly love me, to fully experience what it feels like to be loved. You have a little bit of that, too, sister. I realized my kids are going to catch this. They're going to catch this. I have to let myself love myself. One of the things I learned just recently, I'll tell you, well, I'm telling everybody, I guess, but you've never heard me tell you this before, and we talk all the time, but I'm learning a lot about me at every stage of life. The reason I'm in this space for me is that I'm taking everyone on the journey of me learning healing and growing. And so it's fun. But one of the things I've learned about me lately is I learned as a kid to disassociate emotionally.

So when it was chaotic in my house, what do you learn? You learn to disassociate a little bit. I think that's carried over on my life a little. If I'm at a party and everyone's having a good time, I have a good time, but not like everybody else does. If I have something great happen in my life and I celebrate it. I celebrate it a little, but I don't allow myself to really feel it. When I'm with the people that I love the most, and I'm loving on them so much, and they love me so much, I let myself feel it a little bit, but I disassociate to some extent. And that disassociation has served me in a lot of ways. When I have to go speak on a big stage in an arena, I can disassociate from my fears a little bit and go up there and perform. Usually, things we do in our lives to protect ourselves. There's a reason we do something. But I've realized long term, the cost is greater than the benefit to me. And at some point, I'm going to get out of this life and I've never experienced it.

At some point, I will have got out of life and never really felt loved. By me and other people who truly loved me and never really celebrated. Here, truly, really never enjoyed it. I think even me, my age now, with all the work I do, I in the back of my mind go, I'll get around eventually to really feeling great about my life or me or other people. But I'm robbing them, the other people. And here's why. You can't really fully transfer to me something that you're not experiencing yourself. You can only give me... I'm actually delusional in thinking that I'm giving all this love to other people. I'm giving them a limited version of it because you can only give what you really experience. I've maxed out giving love to other people based on my lack of having it myself. And it's just recently, I'm talking about maybe even this week, I've fully embraced that that's true. I can't believe I'm saying this with you now, but I need to change that. I need to change that. I think I'm loving everyone fully, but there's another depth in a level I could go to, to the love of other people.

Only way there is to give it to myself first so that I can give to somebody that which I'm experiencing myself. And so, wow, surprised I just said that out loud, but it's totally true. It's something that I need to grow and change.

How are you going to do that?

I have this friend who wrote a book called Worth, and she actually sent me the manuscript before she wrote it. And there are things in that book that I need to go back to, and I'm being serious about it. Here's what I found. It's a gift I can just give myself freely. It's always been there. I've just hidden from it, like I would hide from my dad. You talk about hiding in plain sight. I've just developed a pattern of hiding in it, and it's right there to be had. I don't have to earn it. I've always thought I had to earn it. I've conflated in my life too many times the difference between significance and love. And so when I was a little boy, actually, when I was a big boy, even now, I felt loved if I did something significant. So if I brought home straight A's, Eddie, we're so proud of you. Or if I hit a home run, or I got big muscles, or I made hundreds of millions of dollars, or I had an island, or I got a jet, or whatever it was, that recognition felt like love. But it's a reduced version of it.

So all All my life, I've been trying to earn it and earn it. The truth is, I'm just realizing now, I don't have to earn it. It's my birthright. God gave it to me. I can have it anytime I want. Ironically, through a very difficult time recently, I've been giving myself pretty high doses of it in a time where maybe I don't even feel like I've earned it because it's not something you earn. It's something that you experience that's always been there. I'm actually, I would say the last few weeks, and by the way, there's been other times in my life, but I think it's interesting that it's happened during a rather difficult time that I've actually felt a lot of bliss and a lot of love and a lot of joy in the midst of a tough time as opposed to just a good time. And so to me, it's not something I have to go earn. It's something that I get that's a gift that was always there. You want to hear an interesting story about that? The quality of your life is the quality of your emotions. You and I talk about that all the time.

But you develop an emotional home. There's, I talk about this in my book, but there's three or four or five emotions you get on a regular basis, no matter what, because you're addicted to them. It's your home. For me, those emotional homes could be bliss, joy, ecstasy, passion, love, faith, or they could be the other ones. They could be worry, fear, lack, anxiety, anger. Anger, usually, is the flip side of the coin of fear. When you see an angry person, you're seeing a scared person. I had an experience happen a long time ago that enlightened me to this. I had finally made some money after all these years in business and being broke. I was building my first cool house. Not this cool, but a cool house. Anyway, midday was stressful. I'd had a meeting, happened a bad meeting. I was all, urgh. Then the contractor had messed something up. I'm driving over there. I'm ready to get in this contractor's face. I'm mad about the business meeting. And I walk in. They're building this house. It was a mansion, and it was the first nice house I ever had. And I walk into where the living room was, and to the left was my kitchen.

And in the kitchen were six men working. They were all men from Mexico that had to leave their families to come here just to send money back home. It's my mansion. They're working in it. And I come in their home. And I look over at these guys, and they're blissful. I could see them from, I don't know, 100 feet away. They're blissful. They got their mariachi music playing. They're dancing and laughing. They're doing work they were great at that had meaning and purpose to them. They had one another. And in that moment, I stepped out of myself for a second and I went, if the game of life is the quality of our emotions, they're winning, I'm losing. What is wrong with you? They're in your... They had to leave their families, come over here. They're working. They're sending most of that money back home. They're building your dream house, and you're living in lack, anger, fear, worry, and they're living in bliss, joy, peace, equanimity. They're winning the game of life. Because here's the truth, you don't want the house. You want how you think it'll make you feel. You don't want even the relationship.

You want how you think it'll make you feel. You don't want to lose the 20 pounds. You want how you think it'll make you feel. And what I'm realizing is I can feel those things It's anytime I want. And the truth is, when you get those things, they don't do it. And so it just made me step back and say, if that's really the game of life is to feel things, I don't have to earn them. But it's not until recently now that I've realized I feel a lot of other things, but not love. Not love. That's the one I've withheld myself, giving myself the gift of. I've celebrated. I've had some passion and all that. But love, that's the one I've reserved for only other people. And so now I'm working on giving myself that one.

I have been with you when you have stepped off stage and you have an entire sold-out arena just sobbing and moved and impacted and blessed. And you will come backstage and tear yourself apart and all those other things. I think you and I have, gosh, so many things in common, Ed. You do that? With believing, and just most of my life, believing that lie that I need achieve enough to finally feel enough, or believing that lie that achievement leads to love.

You think you still have some of that?

I think far less than ever. I think it's only the past three years that I've realized. Really? Yeah. Also, only the past three years, I've realized all of that achievement and growth, while it's important, builds confidence, but none of it builds my worth, my identity, who I believe I am. I think when our self-worth is our ceiling, and if we don't have enough self-love or self-worth to think we're worthy of something, we'll sabotage it, we'll disassociate from it, all the things. I want to ask you- Wow, that's profound, that difference that you talk about there.

Not to interrupt you, but the difference between confidence and worthiness. All the work I've done, I've never understood until you talk to me about it on my show. And what you just said there is like, that's one of those, everybody should rewind the last three minutes of that and listen to that again. That was really good.

It's just I was believing because when we think if we achieve more, we'll finally feel love, and we'll get more love, and more. And why does it still feel like something's missing? So then we achieve more, and then we work hard. And it's this never-ending cycle to never feeling it because we don't realize we are it.

That's right. We try to chase it, and it was always within us to experience anytime we wanted to. Yes, exactly.

When we don't believe it and feel it, then we hit ceilings, we sabotage things. I want to talk to you. I want to ask you something I've never asked you before, not even in our regular conversations. I've never asked you about this before. But will you talk about baseball and 4:40 and scouts leaving and your self-worth?

Oh, wow. Look at you.

And your self-worth.

Oh, whoa. I've never been asked that one. Wow, wow, wow. Okay. So I'm in college, and I think I was leading the nation in hitting. I think I was leading the nation, but I was hitting 4:40. And you're amazing. Now, you're going to make me really emotional. I think I was leading the nation in hitting, or I was close. Anyway, I was hitting 4:40, and I remember my coach coming to me going, Hey, listen, we were playing in UNLV. We played it there, and I had a great series there. And he goes, Hey, next week, we're going to go down to play Cal State forward. And these are top teams in the country. And he goes, I just want you to know there's going to be a ton of scouts there. They're called cross checkers, national-so it's like the scouts scouts. They're coming to see you. This is a big deal. And I said, Okay. And so we went down and we're playing Cal State forward, and I blew it. I blew it. First or second inning, a fly ball has hit me like a normal everyday fly ball that I've been catching since I'm six years old.

I drop it. Like right in my glove, drop it. Like basic routine, like taking a glass of water and drinking it. I drop the ball. I I end up getting out my first time, striking out the next time. I end up going like 0 for 13 or something like that in the series. But on my third or fourth at bat, I end up grounding out, and I hit first base, and I'm coming back to the dugout, and I look, and all I can see is the backs of all the scouts walking out. They all left. And I remember thinking, there goes my dream right there. I've blown it. And And the truth is, what happened there was, I didn't believe I was worth it. It's impossible for me to play that bet. I didn't believe I was worthy of it. My identity was not high enough. And what happens when your identity, as you know, I talk about a lot, it's like a thermostat setting on your life, right? And so if you're set at 75 degrees, and you start getting results that are heated up beyond what you believe you're worth, you will turn the air conditioners on unconsciously, subconsciously, and cool your life back down to what you believe you're supposed to get.

And it's a true thing. If you don't raise that identity thermostat, that worthiness thermostat, you'll cool it back down. It'll seem coincidental. Like, the wind blew the fly ball. Sun was in my eyes. We're in business. Supply chain affected my business, or I had to loan some money to a friend. It's none of that. It's that you turn the air conditioners on. And so that weekend, I will literally never forget. And I can't believe you just asked me because it actually changes how I feel inside. I turned the AC on as cold as I could get it back to what Eddie Millet thought he was worth, all the way back to that little boy with the key in the lock and his dad coming through. I found a way in front of thousands and thousands of people to just melt back down and cool back down to what I was Earth. And I'll never forget the day because I literally watched my dreams walk out the door. I watched these people who were the gatekeepers of my dreams go, What in the world are we doing with this guy? They didn't even stick around to see the rest of it, and they were gone.

And with that day, part of my dream died. That day. Part of my dream died that day because I didn't believe I was worth it. I didn't believe I was worth it. And in hindsight, how sad. Now, what happens is, that's baseball, so it's very obvious. But in most people's lives, that subtly happens every single day of them. At some point, they just turn the air conditioners on and get it right back to what they think they're worth. And it wasn't for many, many years until after that, that I figured out why I did it that day. I don't drop flyballs. I don't go 0 for 13, but the moment was bigger than my worthiness in that moment. Wow, look at you. Yeah, my mom and dad were there for that, too. I remember watching my dad feel so bad for me. They were just heartbroken, and I couldn't stop it. I don't know if any of you get that way where you're spiraling. I couldn't stop it. Then it got worse, and I got more pressure on me, and more pressure, and more pressure. Then I just wanted to hide. I just wanted to quit completely.

If I could have walked out of that game in that stadium in the middle of it, I would have. Just please get me out of here. I don't belong here. It was this great microcosm of life. I didn't think I belonged there. It was getting too good. I was too close to my dream. I was getting too happy. I was becoming too successful. I think it's a great warning, Jamie, for people that are on the climb right now. You have to keep growing your worthiness and growing that identity, because at some point, if you don't, you will turn the air conditioners on. If you exceed too long, you can exceed your identity for a little bit, but eventually you're going to bring it back to what you think you're worth. If you don't work on that part of you as you're growing. And I worked on how to hit a ball. I worked on how to catch and run and throw. I worked on all the fundamentals, but it didn't work on me. And the true me, who I thought the true me was, came out and made sure I dropped that ball, made sure I'd ground out the first, made sure I struck out a bunch of times, made sure I made every mistake I could make to get what I thought I was worth.

This is the one thing. It is the thing. It changes everything. I see, gosh, in my journey of building a cosmetics, hiring over a thousand employees or just in all different areas of life, friends, it doesn't matter. I have seen people so talented get a huge opportunity, and then they show up late every single time. Crazy. And they just think, Oh, they have a habit of being late. No, you're actually sabotaging an opportunity. It shows up in so many ways. They're, Oh, I really want a life partner, but you keep putting everyone in the friend zone and not being attracted to them. Because deep down inside, you don't believe you're worthy of a great relationship. That's right. So how did How did you go from sabotaging your baseball dreams? Because you had dreamed being a pro-athlete. Now, you help literally athletes, the best athletes in the world. I know that you coach presidents of world leaders. You coach so many different people to overcome their limiting beliefs. I want to take a big step back here. I think in some spaces, there's the personal growth world where everyone there knows what a limiting belief is.

I think that I have five families through being adopted. I would venture to guess 95% of them who are very smart has never heard the term limiting belief. And just to break it down, because this may be, oh, my gosh, of the other 200 things that are already breakthroughs in this episode, this one thing could be really big for somebody who's just listening right now. But we all have So many of us have limiting beliefs in our life. And you've just talked about a few of them. I'm not worthy of this, or I'm unqualified, or I'm not talented enough for this. We all tell ourselves, I'm too young, I'm too old, I'm not smart enough. People like me don't have things like this happen to me. I mean, on and on and on. The list of limiting beliefs a lot of us tell ourselves, sometimes without realizing it, goes on and on and on. So how do you, Ed Milet, in the most simplest of terms, overcome a limiting belief?

That's a great question. I'm going to tell you a weird thing that I do. For me, a lot of my superpower comes from my physiology. So when I feel limiting things about myself, it's typically a neurochemistry. So what I do with the athletes that I work, people ask me, When you're dealing with these athletes, what are you working on? And they're surprised because you know this, too, because you're connected to so many people that have achieved at a high level. Believe it or not, it's their confidence or their worthiness level. Still at that level. They still struggle with it. They go into a slump or something. I don't have to teach a UFC fighter how to throw a kick or a punch. They're better at that than I am. I have to get them back. This is what I get them back into. I'll show them a kick or a punch they've thrown before, and I'll make them watch it. And I'll say, what does that feel like in that moment? What does it feel like in your body? Okay, so here's the real answer. And they'll tell me, it feels like this. It feels amazing when you connect, or a baseball player, when they hit it, what does it feel like?

And I'll make them tell me, what does it feel off the bat? What does it feel in your body? And I try to get there because I believe success, bliss, happiness is actually a neurology. It's a neurochemistry. It's something you feel in your body. Any of you that have ever been in that zone before, like, wow, I gave a good meeting right there, or that was an amazing conversation. You feel something. There's a calmness, a frequency to how you feel. And so what I will do to overcome my limiting beliefs is I will get my body back in that state of achievement. So for me, it might be a walk or I'm moving. I don't read my goals sitting down. My goals are done when I'm working out because I'm at a peak physical state. So I link it in those moments. So what I get with my athletes or I do with myself is I will shift my body into what I believe is like a peak neurochemistry. And then I can believe anything I want to about myself in those moments. It's when I'm not in that state that I suffer. I suffer when my body is not moving.

So that's why I like Tony Robin's work is so profound because what he does is he gets you moving, and he's changing your neurochemistry. He's changing your neurology. So believe it or not, even with people that run big companies or countries, I will get them to get into the neurology they want and then link what they're doing physically to that state. So it's a technical thing, but it's something I do. Here's the other thing I have. I have two or three people in my life. That's the complicated thing, is changing your neurochemistry. The simple thing that I have is I have two or three people in my life. Maybe it's five now. You're one of them who will tell me the truth about me, who will get me to break through those limiting beliefs. I think you only need one other person in your life who believes in you super deeply, who can tell you when you're doing that to yourself. And I do it all the time. I still limit myself. I don't know if I could do this. I don't know I could write another book. I don't know this. And you're like, Are you crazy?

That's an amazing book. I don't know how many times you've been telling me about this book that I'm supposed to write. And your belief in me oftentimes can override the limiting beliefs I have. So if I can give you two gifts, it would be one, move your body in a resourceful way where you have that superhuman physiology going and then do your thinking. In other words, don't think from an unresourceful state. When I wrote my book, I would move my body before I would write. When I do my goals, I move my body. So if you're in a limiting belief, you're probably in a limiting physiology, a limiting neurology, a limiting neurochemistry. Move your body to get things moving and then think, and then tell me how you feel. Okay? And you will think differently when your body's changed.

And there's so much more coming up in this episode. You are not going to want to miss it. But first, I wanted to share this with you. In life, you don't soar to the level of your hopes and dreams. You stay stuck at the level of your self-worth. When you build your self-worth, you change your entire life. And that's exactly why I wrote my new book, Worthy: How to Believe You are Enough and Transform Your Life For You. If you have some self-doubt to destroy and a destiny to fulfill, worthy is for you. In worthy, you'll learn proven tools and simple steps that bring life-changing results, like how to get unstuck stuck from the things holding you back. Build unshakable self-love, unlearnt the lies that lead to self-doubt, and embrace the truths that wake up worthiness, overcome limiting beliefs and imposter syndrome. Achieve your hopes and dreams by believing you are worthy of them and so much more. Are you ready to unleash your greatness and step into the person you were born to be? Imagine a life with zero self-doubt and unshakable self-worth. Get your copy of worthy, plus some amazing thank you bonus gifts for you at worthybook.

Com or the link in the show notes below. Imagine what you do if you fully believed in you. It's time to find out with worthy. Who you spend time around is so important as energy is contagious, and so is self-belief. I'd love to hang out with you even more, especially if you could use an extra dose of inspiration, which is exactly why I've created my free weekly newsletter that's also a love letter. To you, delivered straight to your inbox each and every Tuesday morning from me. If you haven't signed up to make sure that you get it each week, just go to jamiekerleema. Com to make sure you're on the list, and you'll get your one-on-one with Jamie weekly newsletter and get ready to believe in you. If you're tired of hearing the bad news every single day and need some inspiration, some tips, tools, joy, and love hitting your inbox, I'm your girl. Subscribe at jamiekernleema. Com or in the link in the show notes. And now more of this incredible conversation together.

And have one to five people in your life who will speak truth to you when you're lying to yourself about the things that you're limited to do. And typically for me, those are the two things that shift me out of these limiting beliefs. I also need someone like you to talk to you to go, you're playing too small. You're thinking too small right now. Come on, this is what you're cable of. And you'll do that with me all the time. And you'll even challenge me. I want friends in my life. Here's the kicker. I want friends in my life who love me. Everyone says, I just need people to accept me as I am. Do you? Do you? I I want people to love me as I am, but maybe not accept me. In other words, I want people to see me as I'm capable of becoming. I think real love, like with my children, I love them, but I don't always accept their behavior. What if I accepted everything my kids ever did? Is that real love? No. So what I see is how my kids could be or what their behavior could have been.

I want friends to go, I love you no matter what. But I don't accept this behavior from you. I don't accept that limiting belief. I don't accept that you believe that about yourself because I know better about you. So I have people in my life who love me enough to challenge me when I'm doing that to myself. You are one of those people. You do that very regularly with me. You remind me of how much you believe in me and how much you love me and what you think I'm capable of. And I have enough trust with you that I believe you when you say it. Sometimes I believe you when I don't believe me. And so I would say, get that neurology and find these blessings in your life where these people love you, but they're not always just going to accept your behavior or your performance level, that they're going to challenge you. I want friends to challenge me. Challenge me. Love me, but challenge me. And I have the blessing of that. And you're one of those blessings, as you know.

Yeah, as are you in my life. As I opened this episode, one of the few people on the planet I call when I am forgetting the greatness inside of me.

Yeah. I remind you all the time. It's easy. It's easy with you.

Oh, my gosh. I just want to ask you about your ability to see Another Person. I know you shared that it started in pain in your household, learning how to just read your dad and really see what he's feeling, what he's thinking, what he's going through. And you now have one of the fastest-growing podcast in the world, the biggest shows out there. You have a television show called Change with Ed Milet. And the first time I saw that show, I binge watched the whole entire series, every episode, because I hadn't seen you in that format before.

You're one of the three people who watched it.

It's cool. And I will never forget. The thing I will never forget is you had so many different types of people in the chair, so many different life stories, so many people with varying levels of resentment and anger and setbacks and circumstances. I watched them literally just disarm in your presence. I watched them just relax at ease and get in this flow with you. I remember asking you, what is it about your communication style, about what is happening on the set there? Because you almost never see this. Even with the greatest interviewers or coaches in the world, you almost never see this. I'm watching this before my eyes, person after person after person. A lot of these people, they don't even know who you are. They're just someone with a really hard life challenge, and you're helping them resolve it. And I remember asking you, What is it? And you said that you can see God in that person.

That's correct.

Every single person. And that shifted me.

Yeah, I remember when we talked about that.

Will you share this? Because it's profound when we can approach this in our life.

Well, I'm looking for God in you all the time. So when my dad was drinking in the worst version of himself, I would look in my dad and see the good. I knew he loved me. I knew my dad had a good heart. Somehow in that time, God sowed into me to look for him in the midst of all of that stress and anger. I don't know if it was whispered to me as a little boy or not, but I remember having this strong sense, we'll call it the Holy spirit, or you want to call it, but of like, when I was hurting around my dad, God would tell me, Look for me in him. Look for me in him. I would, and it would give me comfort and peace while he was so angry. It didn't scare me like it did before. I developed that habit with everyone so that when I meet people, what I'm actually looking for is what's their giftedness? What's their giftedness? Because within all of us, we were all born with two or three, four very unique gifts that were sewn into just us. And we discount them because they're so natural to us.

This isn't special. See, people think, Oh, a gift is I look like Beyoncé, or I sing like Beyoncé, or I'm strong like the Rock, Dwayne Johnson. Those are gifts because they're very visible gifts. But most human beings' gifts are subtle and quiet and beautiful. It's their nurturing ability. It's their kindness. It's their intention. It's their humor. It's their intellect. It's their problem solving ability. It's their resiliency. It's their toughness. It's their faith. It's their strength. It could be their ability to write or communicate or see or make other people look beautiful. It could be all kinds of different things. But because they're natural to us, we discount them. So when I meet a human being, and by the way, those were sent from God. So when I meet a human being, I'm fascinating. They're like a gift I want to open up. They're like a gift. Even people that are adversarial to me, I want to open them up. And then what's their thing? And what I have found that when you can point out to a human being, this is your gift, they intuitively know it's true about them. And now you have linked yourself and yoked them with them in a way maybe no human being has, maybe a few.

So if I can see that God in you and I point it out to you and you go, Yeah, I do love people, or I do help other people feel better about themselves, or I am funny, or I do care. Then all of a sudden, we have a connection, and you are sown into a strength you didn't have before. And now once we've made that connection, you trust me, and you feel strong about you to make a change in a shift because I've spoken truth to you, like we talked about before. It's become this habit of mine. If you're my Uber driver, by the time we're done, I will have opened you up, and I will have identified two or three gifts in you. Now, it is a muscle I where I'm pretty good at finding it faster than I used to be. It's almost like this radar I have to find in somebody. And it is, I said earlier, I only really have two gifts, my ability to connect with people, which is what we're describing right now much deeper, and maybe my ability to express to them what they could do with that gift, which is the ability to communicate.

So if you see me on stage in front of 40,000 people, or you're my Uber driver, the same thing is happening. What's trying to happen there is I'm trying to find the presence of God in you and your giftedness, and then communicate to you how you can best express it for the good of other people. That's what happened on my show. More than three people watched it. I'm kidding. But it's something that I love to do and experience because I feel connected to God when I'm with his children. And so it's easy to see in the world today are differences. Man, that's everywhere, right? And there are differences. We do believe different things. We do come from different places. There are different personality types, but we're all connected as brothers and sisters, too. I catch a lot of flack. My wife's always telling me, You call everybody brother, everyone's sister. I'm like, I do because they are. And it's a reminder to me and them that we're connected, that we're all brothers and sisters in God's kingdom Whatever you believe about God or the universe or whatever that is, that's your business, not mine. But for me, I know I'm connected to you.

We are not separate. We are connected. And the great lie in our culture today, Jamie, is that we're separate, and everything's trying to separate us. So if I can just be a little bit of light in the world, I'm like, no, we're connected. And I see God in you. And by the way, when I pointed out to you, you know it's true already, and now you see God in you, and now you have the power to change.

Even if they don't know that's what it is. That's right. Even if they don't have any similar beliefs.

Don't have to have the same beliefs.

Don't have to have it. You see it in them.

Yeah, most people don't have the same beliefs. And by the way, how sad is it in our culture that we have to believe the same thing in order to feel connected? I I got way past that. Way past that. Way past that stuff. I don't have to believe. Oh, vibration. Yeah, I don't have to believe what you believe to be connected to you. In fact, you're interesting to me when you believe things I don't believe, because now, if everyone believed everything I believe, it'd be a pretty boring conversation, right?

You want to One of the most beautiful part about when I was witnessing this, and I was witnessing just you, and you're solving real problems in people's lives. I mean, you have people on your couch dealing with all kinds of stuff on this talk show, from the worst of situations to just challenging setbacks to wildlife circumstances. It's just no guest was the same. I'm watching them come in again with varying levels of resentment or a chip on their shoulder or whatever it might be or hope, all the emotions. I'm watching you see God in them. Yeah. And in That moment, and this is what I think is so beautiful about this, it is impossible to see God in them and judge them at the same time.

Oh, I love you. That's exactly right.

I'm watching them all of a sudden not feel judged by you, so now they feel safe.

You got it. Right? Yes. And by the way, I want to express this so profoundly. I love that you just said, It's my favorite topic ever on any show I've ever done, and no one's ever talked to me about this before. All of you have this ability. It just needed to be pointed out to you. This is not unique to me at all. I'm just looking for it. If you start looking for it in people, and by the way, the judgment part is so huge, giving people grace, even when maybe they don't seem like they deserve it at the time. I'll tell you an interesting story about exactly what you just said. About three weeks ago, the kids were home for Christmas. We went out to dinner. Pretty nice restaurant. Not great, but pretty good place. The place where there's a... I don't know how to explain it, but you probably aren't screaming and yelling in this One of those five places. When we walk in, we're in the lobby, and I can hear these kids screaming. I mean, crazy screaming. I'm like, That's going to be noisy. Of course, who do we sit next to?

Right next to the screaming table. There's five kids at this table. There's two parents. I mean, these kids are going at it. They're going at it. I mean, running around the table, throwing food, almost screaming and carrying on. And the mom has her head down the whole time. The dad's not doing a lot. And my normal tendency as a human would be, and to judge them. And by the way, I know that's my normal tendency. I know that's our culture. I know I can go there. I'm completely cable and have gone there before in my life. And I literally did what you just said. I literally said, I'm going to give them some grace. I'm not going to judge them. I have no idea why in that moment I chose that, but it was whispered to me to do it. In fact, and you know me pretty well, I said, Max, I want to say a prayer for that family real quick. My son's like, Dad, I said, And you're saying it. I said, Bow your heads. We just said a quick prayer for the family. Of course, Bella goes, Well, dad, we should do a thing we used to do where we buy them dinner, but they don't know it, too.

Even me, I'm like, You're pushing it. I said, Okay, so anyway, we ended up We used to do this thing as a family. We would buy people dinner anonymously. I know you've done that, too. Anyway, three quarters away through the dinner, the dinner ends, and we got their check. They didn't know where it came from, and they left. And it was pretty noisy the whole time. We leave about an hour later, and two days later, I'm hitting golf balls at the golf course warming up. And the man who was our server, who I got to know very well that night because I opened him up and told him what his giftedness was. So he was connected to me, and he kept, Mr. Milet, that was like one of the best experiences I've ever had the other night. And thank you for being so kind. I felt so good about myself when I left. And I go, well, Derek, I meant it, brother. I mean, that is your giftedness, your humor, man, and the way you can remember things. Man, you could use that to change the world, right? And you're doing it in the restaurant.

And he goes, and you're just so good to that family was coming back the funeral. I said, What did you say? He goes, Oh, the family at the table that night that you got the meal for, they had come back from their grandma's funeral. I went, You're kidding me. And he goes, Yeah, and they used to come in here with the grandmother. She was amazing. And the wife, it was her mom. She was inconsolable that night. She couldn't even lift her head up at the meal. It makes me emotional. The grandkids, they're so close to her because when their dad was deployed in Iraq, she was at home raising them when the mom had the job. They were very, very close. They had come in that night right after the funeral to celebrate their My mother. I was like, whoa, man. You never know what someone's going through. You never know what they're carrying. You don't know their burden. Give them grace. You don't know. Usually hurt people hurt people. People in pain create pain. Thank God that night, somehow, I'm not capable of this wisdom. God gave me the wisdom that night to give them grace and to say a prayer for them.

I'm so grateful that I didn't go to what your tendency would be, which is to judge because to think that those precious babies that had lost their grandma and buried her that day. And that mom who couldn't lift her head up, that was her mother. And the husband, he fought for our country over in Iraq. And when he was deployed, that grandmother helped raise his precious children. Just amazing 48 hours in my life. And so that lesson played out really, really profoundly then.

The book that you mentioned, I'm always on you to write, that you're writing.

That I'm writing.

I want to talk to you about this because when you shared this concept, It has literally changed my life. You shared this concept, and I now do it with my kids. I love it. I now do it with my husband. Will you share with everyone listening? Because I think of the one person watching us listening today who's going to start doing this. I have found it will change not only the person you do this with, but it'll change the relationships in your life. Can you talk about Let me tell you about you.

Sure. This is, by the way, you doing God's work in other people's lives when you do this, because this is what God would want you to say to them, I think. I learned it because it was what God said to me. I was going through a really hard time. Normally, when you pray, if you're a praying person, you're worshiping God. That's the traditional church relationship now is, Thank you, God. Thank you, God. I'd gone through this one really difficult time. This one night, I got on my knees when I prayed and I asked, I said, God, tell me about me. Tell me about me. I had this amazing experience for I don't know how long it was, but my Father in heaven was praising me, raining down love on me, telling me how tough I was and kind I was and smart I was. I just had this beautiful experience It's that when I was done, I felt loved. I felt amazing. It was God telling me about me. I made you in my image. You're supposed to do something great. Felt like papa talking to me, but more. And Max was born not that long after that.

And I remember as I was literally cutting Max's cord, I was cutting Max's cord. I said, Maximus, let me tell you about you. My boy's been, I don't know, three minutes on Earth, five minutes on Earth. I said, Maximus, I love you so much. You're so amazing. I named you Maximus. You're a gladiator. You're tough. You're strong. And he opened his eyes. I go, You have Daddy's blue eyes. You got my blue eyes. You're going to have an amazing life. You're so kind. You're so sweet. People are going to love you. And I started this. I did it when Bella was born. I was cutting her cord. I said, Bella Boo, let Daddy tell you about you. You're so funny. You're going to be so fast. You're brilliant. People love you. You got Daddy's blue eyes. And what started with my kids was I would do this every day. Just every day when we pray, and I say, Maximus, let me tell you about you. You're a gladiator. You're a leader. You're a champion. You're the greatest of all time, buddy. You're so kind. You got such a beautiful heart. Then I go in and pray with Bella.

Bella Boo, I love you. You're so smart. You're so funny. You got daddy's blue eyes. I would do this over and over. My son always loved it. When Bella became a teenager, she started giving me the eye rolls. Before school, I go, Wait, don't. Before you leave? She goes, Dad, I know. I'm a superstar. I'm amazing. I'm not right. I go, I'm telling. Come here. And I told her, I'm going to tell you, I've screwed up so many things in my life. But the one thing I've done is I have done that with my kids. I have told them about them. I do it with a lot of my friends, too, as you know. An interesting experience to finish that was I had dropped Bella off at college, and there was kids in her dorm, and I was getting ready to leave. Christiana was getting ready to leave, and she knows what I'm about to do. And she's embarrassed by it, right? She looks at me, Dad, don't do it. I go, Well, then we better go outside because I'm going to do it. So we walk into the hallway. I said, Come here. And what she didn't know is she was walking out.

I had written her a letter that I put on her pillow. And in that letter, when she got it later, it said, I'm not going to see you every day anymore. Let me tell you about you. I wrote it first so she could read it every day. We're in the hallway, and I tell her, I said, Come here. I love you so much. You're my only girl. Look at your blue eyes. You're so funny. People are going to love you here. You're so amazing. She Thank you, Daddy. I know when she went back in, I had to leave my daughter. It's hard. I knew she had this letter. And about six months later, I was flying to Florida with Christiana. I said, Bella, I'm going to come by and see you. At school, it was a rainy day. She goes, Dad, I'm busy. I said, I'm coming to see you. I came to see her, and when I walked in her dorm, all of her friends were there to meet me because they follow me on social media. So it was Mr. Milet, Mr. Milet. And there's all these kids there. And And I'm going to take Bella to lunch.

And as we're leaving, this is my daughter who's supposedly embarrassed by all this. As we're leaving, this boy goes, Bella Boo. Make sure he tells you about you. And I looked at her and I said, You told him I'd do that? She goes, Well, dad, they always want to know about my dad and what's he like and all that. And I just told him what you do. I said, You told him all? She told all her friends at college, and they said, Tell me about your dad. She didn't tell them about my success or our houses She told him that. She said, All my life, my dad's done this. So after we went to lunch, dropping her back off, it's raining, she gets out of the car, and I don't do it on purpose. And she walks away. She gets all the way over to her dorm, about to get back in the car, and she turns. I'll never forget it from the dorm. She goes, Daddy. I go, What? What? She goes, You didn't do it. I go, Do what? She goes, I She goes, Come here. And she runs up to me. She runs.

She runs up to me. I go, Come here. I said, I love you so much. You're my only daughter. You're my daughter. You're my sweetie. You're my only one. You're so smart. I told you everybody would love you here. You're so funny. You're brilliant. You're going to have an amazing life. She starts crying. I start crying. And she gives me the biggest hug. And let her go again. And the only... I've done that good. I've done that really good with my kids. I've done that really good with them. And I would just recommend to everybody, if you have a chance to tell another human being about them, tell them. Just tell them. It doesn't have to be everything I just said. But when you feel something about somebody, express it to them. Don't hold back. Be I'm fully present with them when you tell them. I'm right about my kids. I'm right about them, and I love them. They do have my blue eyes. So let me tell you about you.

I love that you wrote her a letter, just so she even has that with her to tell her about her. Okay.

That's enough.

For everyone listening today who is just holding out for hope or for love in their life or just needs hope today, would you mind just taking a moment and just speaking into them, whether it is just words, a prayer, whatever's on your heart to talk to them today?

Yeah. Well, I always pray for anyone who's involved with anything that I'm doing. I pray for you very, very often. But I would say to you is that any of you that are holding out hope is that it's already here. And I would love you to give yourself the gift of telling you about you. Speak some truth to your sofa the first time, maybe in a long time, and stop believing the lies. Stop believing the lies. The things you think are so impossible and difficult in your life, those things are lies. And I'll just I'll tell you that you were born for a reason. You're not a mistake. You're not supposed to be average and ordinary. In all your life, you've known you're supposed to do something special, haven't you? You've known it. There's a deep part of you that knows you're supposed to make a difference in the world. And you were. And my prayer for you, my prayer so deeply for you, is that you'll just feel the comfort of whatever your faith is, that it comforts you and gives you strength in knowing that you got this, you can handle this. You were built for this.

And that the world needs you. The world needs what you can give. There's some human being right now, that's like my dad was, that needs someone to say, I can help you. I can help you. And thank God that person, when the moment arose, had the strength and the courage and the confidence to help my dad, when the rest of the world probably didn't think they were qualified. And by the way, I found that person that helped my dad. I know him now. You know what's crazy, Jamie? His name is Ed. It's a terrible, weird name we all have. But me, my dad, my papa, and this man that changed my dad's life all have the same name. So I believe God was involved in that. And all he did was help somebody that he used to be. And in your life, you're qualified to help anybody that you used to be. And so if you've been in pain and you're in a little bit less pain, you can help people in pain. If you've not believed in your sofa a little while, maybe you believe just a little bit more today, you can help people who need that belief, that need that strength.

If you've been really weak in your life many times and you found a little extra strength out of today's conversation, you can help people who need some strength. If you just got a little bit more faith today from what we've talked about, you can help people who need that in their life. So I would just tell you that you were born to do something great with your life. And my prayer for you is that you step into your truth. You step into the truth about you. And the truth about you is that you're supposed to do something great with your life. And so this whole interview today has been us telling you about you, even though we've been talking to each other.

Ed, my love.

I am. Dang, Jamie. Look, everyone's crying in here, by the way. I love you.

I love you. Thank you. That was an awesome interview. You see if yours fit?

You see if yours fit? Good thing I wore clean socks today. This is the coolest tradition ever. How about that? God chose you to change the world. That's what kept my head when we were talking today. That's what I was thinking. It's going to use you a lot of different ways. It's not just a speaking, it's this, too. You're doing something here. I've never cried like that. Every time I ever cried in an interview is when you interviewed me. Only two times ever. You need to be doing this. You need to be doing this. It's a lot of work, but you're doing something here. I guarantee you I'm not the only one, too. I bet that most of them have been this way.

I have one more thing to share with you. But before I do, if you got value out of this episode, my only ask is that you please share it. Share it with another person in your life who could benefit from it. Post it and share it with others online or in your community who just might need the words and tools and lessons in this episode today. You never know whose life you're meant to change today by sharing this episode. And thank you so much for joining me today. And before you go, I want to share some words with you that couldn't be more true. You, right now, exactly as you are, are enough and fully worthy. You're worthy of your greatest hopes, your wildest dreams, and all the unconditional love in the world. And it is an honor to welcome you to each episode of the Jamie Kern Lima Show. Here, I hope you'll come as you are. Heal where you need. Blossom what you choose, journey toward your calling, and stay as long as you'd like because you belong here. You are You are worthy, you are loved, you are loved, and I love you.

And I cannot wait to join you on the next episode. This is the Jamie Kern Lima Show. In life, you don't soar to the level of your hopes and dreams. You stay stuck at the level of your self-worth. When you build your self-worth, you change your entire life. And that's exactly why I wrote my new book, Worth: How to Believe You are Enough and Transform your life for you. If you have some self-doubt to destroy and a destiny to fulfill, worthy is for you. In worthy, you'll learn proven tools and simple steps that bring life-changing results. Skills, like how to get unstuck from the things holding you back, build unshakable self-love, unlearnt the lies that lead to self-doubt, and embrace the truths that wake up worthiness, overcome limiting beliefs and imposter syndrome, achieve your hopes and dreams by believing you are worthy of them, and so much more. Are you ready to unleash your greatness and step into the person you are born to be? Imagine a life with zero self-doubt and unshakable self-worth. Get your copy of worthy, plus some amazing thank you bonus gifts for you at worthybook. Com or the link in the show notes below.

Imagine what you do if you fully believed in you. It's time to find out with worthy. Do you struggle with negative self-talk? Living with a constant mental narrative that you're not good enough is exhausting. I know because I spent most of my life in that habit. The words you say to yourself about yourself are so powerful. And when you learn to take control over your self-taught, it's life-changing. And I wanted to give you a free resource that I created for you if this is something that could benefit your life. It's called Five Ways to overcome negative self-taught and build self-love. And it's a free how-to guide to overcome that negative self-taught to build confidence and develop unshakable self-love so that you can dream big and keep going in the pursuit of your goals. Don't let self-sabotaging thoughts hinder your progress any longer. It's time to rewrite the script of your life when filled with self-love, resilience, and unwavering belief. If you're ready to take charge of your narrative, build unwavering confidence and empower yourself to persevere on the path to your dreams, you can grab your free guide to stop overthinking and learn to trust yourself at jamiecurry.

Com. Karenleema. Com/resources, or click the link in the show notes below. This show is presented solely for entertainment purposes only. It's not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, psychotherapist, professional coach, or other qualified professional. I hope you enjoyed this episode and conversation together, and I am so grateful to be on this journey with you. And did you know for every episode of the Jamie Kern Lima Show, there are a set of special prompt questions just for you to help you on your journey of aha moments and revelations in your own life from each episode. Make sure you join my free email newsletter at jamiekernleema. Com to get them sent to you each week. And each episode is meant to be evergreen and packed with timeless life lessons. So you can go back and listen to past you perhaps haven't heard yet as we are going on this incredible journey of building self-worth and living our best lives together.