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Train by day. Joe Rogan podcast by night. All day. Okay, we're up now. So what were you guys talking chop about?

What did you ask?

What's the question?

Okay, well, yeah. Jamie's gonna fucking run a train on me.

I felt that there was some controversy.

There was some tension. There was some tension when we had the lovely dinner after your show. We. We went that it a little bit, and we had a little disagreement about compression technologies, preamps cloud lifters, you know.

What is your position?

Well, my position is. Well, okay, hold on. Okay.

Different place, though, also.

Okay, go ahead.

Yeah. Very different. Let's just say financially, we're coming from a different, very different place. But I try to use the Shure sm seven b we actually caught for my podcast Tuis. Shout out. Here we are. It's estonian. You're not gonna.

Well, AI, what did you just shout out?

It means direct translation is pussy munchers. It's my podcast.

Oh, yeah. So is it in Estonian? Wow. Do you think Spotify will translate it to English? Maybe you'll be the first. That goes the opposite way, bro.

If AI translate this podcast, I'm fucked, you know? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Like, oh, take it down. See, this is the thing they're gonna do that I know Spotify is going.

To, but they don't get my charisma and timing down, though.

No, also sense of humor, sarcasm. And when you translate, I'm just gonna say, you sound like a Nazi.

I will be a Nazi.

I'm so scared. And humor and what is, for lack of a better term, it's called talking shit. Okay? And this is what we do on podcasts. This is what we do in the green room. This is what me and my friends love to do all the time. Right? We do that all the time. We say things we don't mean because it's funny. We say things are inappropriate because it's funny. And it is 100% done with fun. And the problem is, today, people like to take things and pretend you're saying something when that's not what you're saying.

Yeah. There's a funny comedian in Canada. He's an american dude who moved to Vancouver. He's Dean Archie. He used to say, off the record talk, right?

It's shit talk. We're not saying things that we mean. We're saying things that are fun to say. But what I was gonna get to before we did is that thing that Jamie told me about MSA. Well, Tulsi Gabbard was the first person to tell me about it. So I was talking about how great Tulsi Gabbard is about if, you know, you really wanted a great democratic candidate. That was a woman. Woman of color. Congresswoman for eight years, served overseas in a medical unit twice. That's where she got that gray streak in her hair. She's like an exemplary human being.

She likes my kil Tony bits on.

Instagram, and they tried to say that I was talking about Kamala Harris, so they edited out of context.

Dude, I've seen your edited videos with.

Ads because, yeah, there's a lot of AI ads. That's really me.

Because Estonia is in eastern Europe and the russian bot system in that country.

It's crazy, right, bro?

It's crazy. I've seen fake podcasts where there's a guy on your podcast, which never has happened, right? And the guy has a shoe. Sm seven b. Not this mic stand. Let's be honest. It's some shittier version, and the backdrop is similar, but you can tell it's not that podcast, right?

But you can do amazing things now with AI. You know, you could do it with video editing, for sure. Like, you could just have a guy splice in, him being in this chair, me being in that chair. And if you did it right and you spent your time on it, you could make it very convincing. And that's just the beginning, man. There's a podcast with me and Steve Jobs. I never met Steve Jobs. There's like. I think it's 40 minutes long. How long is the podcast with me and Steve Jobs? But it's a completely AI generated podcast. It's just audio. But from what I've heard, you can kind of tell. But it's getting close. It's getting to the point where you're not gonna be able to tell. You know, when you hear enough computer generated sentences, you're gonna catch little glitches in the matrix. You know, it's gonna sound a little.

Off, but you can only catch those glitches in the matrix because you're a person who's also around technology, Internet. So you kind of. Kind of see the scam going on.

It's not a super visible scam. It's like, oh, I see it. Scam. Yeah. So how long is it? 20 minutes. Okay, so it's just me. Let me hear some of it. They seem to have a soul, in a way, and some people almost get religious about this stuff because it's so powerful and it means so much. Is that good? If a company gets to the point where it's successfully doing a few things. You don't have to try and do everything. We're in the process now of trying to cut the things we're doing so that we can concentrate on the few that are really high on our priority list. Because if you try to do too many things, none of them get done.

Well, will that transition a few and.

Make sure those are the transitions. But even more importantly, the sound is very different between where the environment that I'm talking in, the environment he's talking for sure. So either he's not in the room, which I don't do. I don't do zoom calls. Those suck.

Yeah.

Or, you know, that's fake.

Yeah.

It's only two options.

If an audio engineer just tweaked it for two minutes, they could make it sound so much better.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

You could 100% make it sound like. Yeah. You could 100% make it sound like we're in the same room. But they didn't. But this is also like, how many months old?

I think that's like two years ago.

Oh, crazy. So what they have now is way better. It's way better. It's getting to the point where we're not gonna know and for sure we're not gonna know what things are. What things are real, what you can generate. I'm sure you've seen these under the new Unreal engine, the most complicated video game engine. What is it called? Engine five? Is that what it's called? It's like, this is spooky.

Yeah, for sure.

It's so good. It's spooky. It looks like a damn movie. Like a real movie.

Like, in Estonia, the movie industry is moving really well and the government was financing for a while the building of like. Like a movie fucking, I don't know, factory or like a whole, you know, like a production studio which could bring more revenue to the country. Great idea, right? But some. It's been paused now and people are like, why isn't it making? But I know exactly why it's paused. Because they're waiting to see how this AI thing plays out.

Yeah.

Because, let's be honest. Green screens and shit. That might be like fax machines, bro.

Yeah. It might be like Morse code.

Yeah, exactly. And it happens like this.

Well, you saw that Tyler Perry shut down the plans to build this enormous studio. He's going to build an 800 million dollar production studio. And he saw.

So Tyler Perry, he's the guy does.

All those Maeda movies. He's got a bunch of tv series.

I thought he's that extreme makeover guy. Remember that guy? Dude, that was my shit.

No, he's. He plays a lady in a bunch of famous movies.

Yeah, yeah. He's dead. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So anyway, point Madea. Madea, Madea. That's right. Sorry. Point is obviously super successful, dude, and has this enormous. This is the Unreal five engine. He has this enormous production company that he's about to build. And he goes, he sees Sora and he's like, what? You guys can do this now?

You gotta see how that plays out, dude.

It's gonna play out real strange.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because what you see already. So this is the video game. This. This looks pretty good. This is not as convincing as some of the other footage that I saw. The. The nighttime footage is something about daytime footage. Looks a little clunky.

Mm hmm.

Or a little better.

There's more reflections.

Yeah.

I went to red man's place, pretty wild. And tried the AI for the first time in my life.

Oh, nuts.

He was saying, like, he has a second life and they are happy with his girlfriend there. And they're, like, living in a whole nother world there.

Well, red Band's slightly insane, I know.

But the way he was describing to me, I imagined it's like the Neo, where I put the thing in about and then, and I'm happy now, but it was stock. It was literally PlayStation two graphics.

Whenever I want to nerd out about electronics, it's always red band. We always talk. We always talk about the newest phones or the newest this or this does that, that does this. Like, he's just a techno nerd. Yeah, he loves that shit.

And he's already giving up on this life because he knows VR is here.

That's such a red. Bad move. You know what? AI is taking over. I'm just going to get my brain teleported.

Exactly.

That's the ultimate leap, right? Imagine if they get to a point where they say, we can download your brain into a computer, but you will cease to exist right here, right now. And you just have to assume that it's whatever consciousness is in your head is your life. And it's not just a faction of that consciousness being in a very particular state in time, that consciousness being attached to this particular biological body in this particular place. Like, what makes you. And if you take that shit out and stick it in a machine, what kind of horrific existence is that? What's screaming into the abyss, unattached from a body, but trapped. Trapped in a newly created computer dimension because you didn't. You didn't get to go to heaven because you got trapped in a metal box. And maybe that's how the aliens contain souls. Maybe that's how they get them.

Matrix was basically that whole, that's the thing.

Make. Get you to think that you can download your soul into a computer like way. I'm going to live forever. Going to download my soul into a computer. And what all you're doing is you're so smart that you're stupid enough to think that technology is capable of recreating you as a whole, not just your consciousness. But what if your fingernails have memories? Motherfucker. What if your whole. What if it all is a part of a system and disconnected from that system, your soul is just like, just separated from love forever?

That was what I really liked in the Matrix franchise. Remember when they got out of the Matrix? They went to Zion. There was that scene where they were fucking, and then there was that scene where they were dancing and the whole thing. Who's the fucking. Morpheus was explaining that. Yeah. You're not feeling the things with your physical body in this matrix world. You know you're going through. It's just the synapses are firing in the machine. And I remember because I was like a teenager when I saw that movie. And I remember that scene when they were fucking. And I was like, oh, shit. See, that's the thing. If you download your brain into a system and then they came back, the world was shitty. Remember how shitty Zion looked? Like? Terrible.

No beaches like us in 50 years.

And then they were eating. Remember that food? Everything the body needs. Remember that culp? Yeah, but I remember when they did that dancing scene. I remember that, like. Like inspiring a thought where I'm like, huh, maybe even if there is a secondary fucking AI world that comes. Yeah, yeah.

There'll be rebellion.

See, that's what I'm saying.

No, no question whatsoever.

That's why I love when people go, is AI gonna destroy stand up comedy? I always love to say that stand up, luckily, is the art form that can comment on its own demise, kinda, you know, like, even if AI creates the perfect act, the perfect, ha ha ha. Laughs per minute, right. There's gonna be. You're gonna be able to comment on how fuck that is right now.

Yeah. So 100%. And then on top of that, the what really what we're really doing is we're performing for live audiences. So how's AI gonna do that?

Yeah, absolutely.

There's a thing that happens when you see a singer on stage, when someone's got an incredible voice and you see him, singh. And that voice just echoes. Or someone like Gary Clark Junior s playing guitar, where you're in the room while they're hitting those keys, you're like, God damn.

And then there's the store. It's not even only the technique and the incredible voice. It's also experience. History of his experience. Yeah, I remember when I was, like. When I was, like, 19, I worked at a jazz bar. Didn't know shit about jazz. I don't know shit about music. I don't know how to play. Do you know how to play anything?

No, I don't know how to play anything.

Literally. I don't know how to draw or play. And, like, my hands just don't work like that. I tried guitar. It just doesn't happen. Dudes are just. And they're like, feel that? Nothing. Disconnection. Nothing's happening.

Interesting.

But I remember working at that bar. There was, like. There was a famous estonian guy who was performing, like, an unplugged. He was like a rock star, and he was performing an unplugged version on the weekends, you know? And technically, he sounded amazing. He was an amazing guitar player. But he was a young guy, maybe only five years older than me. Technically perfect from the traditional training, the school. He had all the things. And for me, that sounds amazing, right? But then I remember we started having. Because it was turning. We had blues nights on Tuesdays, and the owner would fly out from America, like New Orleans. These 65 year old black dudes that live a rough life. You can see from their face, from the way they move, it's been a rough life. And the way they would sing, maybe technically it wouldn't be sound as clean, but what you would feel. Because I was bartending and I would look at the audiences, and I would see them also.

You feel it, right?

You can't explain, dude. I don't know. Of course, later, when I got to befriend some musicians there, they would explain. They would be like, no, no, no. That guy, the other guy was doing the basic ABC. Dedede. He's doing a whole different shit right now.

Right? So it's something that only the people that really know how to play recognize, like, stand up. Right.

I feel it.

I think that's the case with everything, man. I really do. I think that's the case with every.

Everything.

Yeah.

Especially art.

I think everything, that. It's a true form of expression, you know, even, like, chess. I think games people play. I think it's, I think, I think it exists in everything, you know?

Cuz I remember, I even remember when there was, remember peer to peer before Torrance beer to pier.

Sure.

What did you guys have? Kazaa.

Imesh, what do we have? What was that one?

We had them all.

Kazakh wire was the one that everybody used.

We started off with Napster and then we went into Kazakhstan. Metallica and Morpheus.

Yeah, now I remember the Napster days.

Metallica suit, Napster, you know, then.

Oh yeah, yeah, Lars Ulrich was very upset.

Yeah.

And, and so was um, I had um, Paul Stanley from Kiss on the podcast. He's just flat out saying, those people are stealing, they're stealing money. You know, my position, it was very, I was like, okay, a bomb just went off and you could either recognize you have a hole in the ship or you can go full steam ahead with the original plan and this motherfucker's gonna sink.

It's like that cartoon when Tom and Jerry, when he's trying to sip a shinking.

The moment music becomes a digital piece of information that can be uploaded to a hard drive, the moment that happens, it's over. So if you don't realize that the war has been lost and devise some sort of monetization of streaming platform, make it simpler, quicker, faster than anybody else's, and then get it up there quick, because they should have done that the moment Napster came out, they should have hired the best coders and said, okay, there is no way you're stopping this like we did. The dam broke, water's coming through and record sales are gone.

Billboards, record sales just went away so quickly.

Guys were making millions and millions of dollars from record sales and then they'd go on tour.

But even live touring was on a downslope because you didn't need to do that that much. Record sales was the back, that's why Madonna went back on tour. I mean, I don't know this, but.

I, that's why she probably also wanted to say, what's up? For sure, let bitches know for sure. Still around for sure, you know, but.

There'S a lot of bands that went back on tour for that very reason.

Uh huh. Yeah, for sure, definitely. Yeah, their revenue dried up, which is crazy that one of the biggest entertainment businesses in the world lost all of its sales revenue from recordings. I mean, I don't know. It didn't lose all of it. I'm sure some people still buy some of them, but like the drop off must have been crazy.

Crazy because it was, remember it was all like, it was like you guys had not cassettes. What did you guys have a track?

We had Aatrex and then we had cassettes and then we had compact disks.

Yeah, we only got cassettes then it was cds. So the format was always changing and then it was the Blu ray and the Microsoft whatever format they had battle. So there's always that battle of data. Then for a while like USB's were tried, you know, they would sell small USB. But then just the Internet was like physical. Yes, over.

Isn't that crazy? And not only that, it's way better. Like the, imagine if YouTube was just a bunch of disks that you had to get.

Dude.

But then again, that's a good example of how much things have changed is the fact that YouTube exists and that YouTube is not a stack of disks that you have to go to a library or a bookstore to get. YouTube just exists instantaneously.

But then again, there was that magic of I feel lucky at least to have that childhood where I remember that my attention was actually not raped by technology that much, but I had to actually look forward to consuming something and work physical exertion to get it. Go to the dvd thing, you would read the back, you would look at the. It would put it. There's a more maybe commitment to consumption.

I think it's going to be very interesting when we look back on human beings and I think we're in the middle of it right now. So we probably don't really objectively understand how much of an impact it's had on us because it sort of trickled in slowly with just regular cell phones. And then like, remember those sidekicks? People had the sidekicks that you could send texts on, it would go sideways, remember like, wow, that's crazy. That was like next level. And then blackberries. If you were fucking serious, if you're really getting some shit done, answering some emails, you had a BlackBerry and then when the iPhone came out, the whole game just fucking flipped on its head. And now all of a sudden everyone's connected to everyone everywhere and everyone's anxious and freaking out. And I think that we grew up before that and I'm older than you by far, so I grew up way before. How old are you now?

32.

Yeah, so I'm 56. Almost 57.

And you're. Yeah, those very important years, that's the.

Big transition years because it was a series of factors that happened in my lifetime. Number one, answering machines. Like what the fuck? You could call someone and leave a message and you would come home and your answering machine light would be like a little dog. Like if the red light was going like, oh, someone loves me, someone loves me. And you go listen to your messages. And then it got to a point where you could call your own phone and get your answering machine to play you your messages. That was next level shit. Okay? Crazy technology. We couldn't believe it. You got to see caller ID, who's calling you? And then you get to call them back. Star six nine, what's up? You know, and then VHS tapes come along. Maybe not even. And then it was kind of along the same soup. Because it all happened while I was in high school. So while I was in high school, there was probably answering machines before I was in high school, but I was aware of them in high school. Then caller ID and then VHS tapes, all that happened. So now all of a sudden, you could just get stuff and play it anytime you wanted to.

So it changed. Like watching movies. You get pause, had to take a leak. The whole thing changed. People started watching movies at home. Blockbuster became a giant thing nobody would have imagined. Blockbuster's gonna go bye bye. Nobody. It was the thing. You go to Blockbuster on Friday night, you see what's the fucking latest movies? Oh, great, there's one left.

Yeah, we had like a video planet. It was like the top five most making money fucking companies of in the country.

They just, they were, they were on an ice cube. They want an ice cube.

That's what I'm always wondering is, what is the industry right now that doesn't even know?

I think there's a lot of them. I think there's. I don't think it's, uh. I think AI is gonna fuck up this system that we have going for us. I think that's why, that's part of the reason why there's a lot of scrambling and clamoring for power right now. Because I think people have a real understanding at the highest level that it's only. We only have so much more time before this AI thing becomes one of the most enormous aspects of society. And the power consumption that it's going to need is astronomical. They're literally building nuclear power plants for these fucking things. And they're going full throttle and we're headed towards whatever this is, and no one knows. And I think that's one of the reasons why governments are trying to crack down on social media and trying to control it and stop people from saying things. And in the UK, there are arresting people for saying certain things. They're trying to, like, stop this thing from overwhelming them, and you can't. It's going to overwhelm all of us. It's not just going to overwhelm government. It's going to overwhelm civilization. And it's going to happen in a bunch of stages, just like it happened with us where we got caller id, we got answering machines, we got vhs tapes, then we got computers, then we got online, and then we got 14 for.

Then we got fifty six k. And then you start seeing pictures show up. Like, they download them nice and slow. And then people go cable. Oh, my God. You get cable Internet. So people had cable Internet where you.

Could just like, remember how many pixels porn used to have? Like, how many. How glorious?

Fuck.

I remember I had a point when I was like, mom goes to store. And you know how you ask which store, so you know how much time you got in the back? And I remember, like, jacking off, and just halfway through the video, it's two dudes. I just didn't. The pixels, it was just such shitty quality.

That's uncomfortable.

It was just very.

Well, didn't you know when they were both sucking each other's dicks to something?

Yeah, when there was a kid.

Where is the girl?

Yeah, when is she coming in? But it was like in a sauna in the dark, and I saw the dudes, like a hog hanging, but he had a nice spot, and it all looked.

You ever flashed in the sauna by a dude flat?

We only go naked. You know that, right?

Oh, in your country, of course.

And if you have pants on, that's creepy and that's weird. If you come with pants, we would have an issue.

Really?

Because it's weird. What are you hiding? What's the thing? I have a owner. Exactly. What's going on, dude?

Just staring at my dick.

I'd rather we all stars dicks. I've seen.

Good luck with that.

Like, in the green room. In the green room, comedians were talking about how many dicks they've seen in their lifetime. And I remember they were laying saying, like, numbers, bro, I've seen a foul ten. I've seen 16 to 22,000 dicks.

Do you think that's healthy?

Yeah. Yeah, it's normal, you know, normal shit. Normal shit.

Just look at the dicks.

And then sometimes I remember in high school, we all showered together. There was always one weird kid that would not shower with us, and you make fun of him. Show me. You know. What are you. What's going on? Why didn't you show us your dick.

You know, that's funny.

And then sometimes the show shower would be a bit warm and you would get a little bit of a vein going there. You know, you get a little 25%, dude.

Whoo. And then you're lathering it down.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Trying to just fucking now mentally just make it go away.

Yeah. Naked dudes and shot and saunas is odd thing.

I only feel comfortable when it's naked.

There was a. I used. I used to be a member of 24 hours fitness in Woodland Hills, California, and the guy was the manager. There was this cool guy. I used to talk to him all the time. My friend Eddie and I used to live there, and he was the former manager of the West Hollywood one. So he said the. He goes, bro, the west Hollywood 24 hours fitness. He goes, it was basically like a gay hookup spot. That's all. It was like, these guys would just go, ham.

Mm hmm.

Just get after each other.

Oh, yeah.

And, like, you'd have to say, hey, don't do that. But it's like you've got guys who want to fuck, guys hanging out, all working out together and getting sweaty with, like, guy mentality.

Yeah.

You know, like, come on, let's do it here. Like, yeah. And they're doing it there, and they're. And there's all guys that are gay there, so they're like, what are you gonna do? And he was like, dude, it was crazy. He goes, I used to have to.

Stop people from fucking in the sauna, in the showers.

I'm sure they don't do that anymore, folks. Yeah, I'm sure that's all been cleaned up. But back then, he was telling me.

It was, I can imagine that 24 fitness still existing. And then this podcast coming out, and there's just 800 gay dudes waiting. Fuck, they're like, joe Rogan. Can you stop saying this is the second fuck spot?

Make sure there is a. Make sure it's the right gym. I don't want to. I don't want to slander anyone, but there is a 24 hours fitness, right? Cause I know there's another one. There's another gym like that. And I used to actually work out at a gym that was in a gay neighborhood. I used to have a bit about it. I used to work out at Gold's gym on Cole, and it was in full on West Hollywood, like, super, super gay gym. But it was really close to the studio where we filmed news radio. So I just got a membership there so I'd get off work and I go lift. And I just go live with these, like, hungry gay dudes. These dudes were hungry, man.

Yeah. They, like, look at you, and they're friendly.

Nobody fucked with me. Nobody. Like, no unwanted attention or anything like that. But I didn't take a lot of showers there.

I remember there was an old guy at the gym.

It was right in the middle of Santa Monica Boulevard. Yeah, it's closed now.

Okay, good, good, good. It's closed. Okay, so golds. Is the golds on Kohl's the one I'm talking about.

Yeah, that's the one. That's not West Hollywood. That's, like, East Hollywood.

Yeah. Whatever it was, it was gay.

Yes.

But, like, men. You know, like big, hairy, muscular gay dudes looking for more of that.

So it's like, men fucking men.

Yeah. It's like a wounded gazelle. Pack of hyenas. Excuse me. Pardon me. Just want to get to the river.

I remember there was an older guy in my gym, and that was the first time I also experienced where it's like, it's an old guy. You know, I fucking. I'm not threatened, right? I'm not threatened. But the look he had in his eyes just made me feel vulnerable for, you know, it's weird because he wanted to penetrate you because men have a certain. And I remember then I started thinking it was when I was, like, younger, and that was the first time I started thinking on, oh, shit. That's how women feel. Plus the physical.

Oh, yeah.

Like, that's like Brock Lesnar looking at you, like, you know, that's like a.

You know, dude, I have had gay guys hit on me that I could kill, and it made me uncomfortable. That guy, like, it just gets to this, like, hey, you know, I'm not gay, so what are you doing exactly? You just trying to make me uncomfortable.

Exactly. And you get nervous, and this old guy would give me looks, and I would just feel like. And it was the first time in my life I'm just like, dude, I'm jacked. I'm doing fucking MMA, but I'm feeling vulnerable. And then one point in the shower, this was like, you know when showers have the booths, you know, the separation.

Boo.

And it was me and him. So I go in the song. It's.

It.

The gym is empty. I go into sauna. I'm alone. And Dixa, it's dictation, you know? So, I mean, the sauna. I hear the shower door open, and in my head, I know, you know, in your head, you're like, there's other people at this gym. But let me bet, because I saw him looking at me, I go, let me bet. And you know it. He comes in, he sees one towel up, you know, so there's somebody in the sauna, right? He comes to the sauna. I wait for him to go to the showers first, because I know if I go the next booth over, this guy's joining. So he goes into the corner, I pick the opposite corner. And then at one point, I'm showering. And it's just. It's that human thing. It's that human thing where you feel something is watch or something tension. And I look through the fucking. All the other separation boots, they had a small gap that you can see through all of them.

And he's getting shampoo and indeed going knuckles other end.

I just see his one eye like this and his dick in his hand.

He's not jacking off, he's just holding on to it.

But something's going on.

He's getting ready, he's warming up. He's showing you that he's got a. He's got a dick.

But then. And he had this look.

Serious.

Yeah.

Angry.

And I'm leaving the gym, and I'm passing, and I know the administrator girls working at the gym, I pass them, and in my head I'm thinking, I just got, like, sexually assaulted. Actually.

No, that's not assault. Don't be a baby.

Yeah, exactly.

See, no, he made you feel creepy.

Made me feel creepy.

Yeah.

So I feel I can't keep this in. I turn around, I go to the administrator, go, hey. And we're laughing about it. I go, this fucking old guy. And then we wait. And he takes like 40 to 50 minutes to come out of that shark. See, what I think is he's shameful, cuz.

Oh, yeah.

And he comes out, his face is red, he has a hoodie on, and he's just ran out of the gym, never came back. I think it just. That's that post nut.

Yeah.

You know?

Well, he probably is embarrassed that he did it exactly again.

Mm hmm.

You know, it's probably one of those things. He's probably been kicked out of gyms before. Like, he's like, got an exit strategy. Yeah, that's what he does. He's a shower jerker. Yeah, those exist. That's why I don't like walking around naked. Okay. Like, if you were a woman and you have your beautiful vagina and their co edge showers, would you really be comfortable washing your butthole and your vagina in front of a bunch of men? No, of course not.

We are.

Gay guys are real. And if your little booty hole and your little dick is out flopping around in front of them, to me, as a person who doesn't want any of that, I would imagine that I would not enjoy watching someone stare at my johnson. Who wants a piece of. You know what I'm saying? Like, okay, that's. We don't need to think about that.

But I think we have just mentally mentioned that way.

That's why you can't have men in a room with naked girls.

We did that in our culture. We all. When I was a little kid, I saw a grown pussy all the time in.

This is why your country's so fucked up, you guys. You barely survived viking wars. And then what's left over, you know, you're just a bunch of fucking maniacal, crazy people showing each other's pussies and dicks to each other. I feel like some things should be sacred. That's what I'm saying. Like, I have no problem with being around gay guys, but I don't think I should be showing them my cock. I don't think that's the right move. I also don't think ladies, as comfortable as you are naked should be in a room full of Mendez and just show your bear pussy. That seems problematic. It seems like it's gonna cause issues for you. Like, I wouldn't do that if I was you. You know, if you wanna wear a bikini, great. Everything's covered, which is like, how funny is that? The bikini thing is hilarious. You know that there's this little, tiny little piece of cloth. Little.

Tiny little Instagram. They have that little.

Little Dorito.

And you see, all I don't see is the actual epicenter.

But by the way, I like it. I'm not saying you shouldn't do it. Please don't stop wearing them. I think they're great. I like g strings. I like girls with beautiful bodies expressing themselves, wearing whatever they want to wear. I'm just saying it's so different than shorts. Like, if a dude wears speedos, he's a freak, right? A dude in Speedos. Unless you're in your fucking country. But a dude in America in Speedos is a weirdo. Some dude in Speedos, like, as a weirdo, if you don't have goggles on, if you didn't come from a long ass swim, you fucking weirdo. Why you wearing speedos? Everybody wears shorts. But, ladies, that's per Christ, that's Estonia.

Every. Every step that every. Every man I've ever seen growing up, I've seen their dick.

That's inflammation in its human form.

That is true. That is an inflamed body.

That's an inflamed body. This. I wouldn't recommend that. But that's what makes the G string funnier. Right? The speedos. That's what makes all of it funnier. But it's just, it's funny the difference between, like, okay, women's former formal attire, right? So not even formal, but like, say, a woman who's a presenter on television, right. Skirt, no problem. Bare toes, open toed shoes, no problem at all. Have one of them. Ones that dangles off your foot a little bit. Not all the way on. No one cares. Vagina curtain that covers about twelve inches from your waist down. That's fine. Boobs all out, pressed out together and pushed up and forward.

I love how that works.

No sleeves. No sleeves. Bare arms. As much skin as you could possibly get without being naked. And to be dressed on television.

And that's formal lipstick. Yeah, they're always hot.

Painted nails, painted toenails, everything smooth and polished and shaved. That's fine. That's the news. This is totally fine.

And that's formal.

You know, imagine if men. Imagine if men in gym shorts and tank tops were giving the news how fucking stupid it would look. Imagine if, like, all these people that you see on the news, like, imagine Don Lemon in his boxer shorts with a tank top on, giving the news. Yeah, well, that's kind of what like a dress is for sure. A dress with a skirt for those Fox News ladies. How is that different than me? And like, these shorts that I'm wearing right now and a tank top. How's it different?

It's just less threatening maybe. And it's nice.

It's. It's nice. I don't want to discourage it. I just think how crazy is the difference between what men wear versus what women wear. We have a jacket on like, it's cold out. We have a fucking vest and a tie and a shirt and all this shit. And women can essentially be almost naked.

Yeah.

You only assume they have underwear on.

That might be a thrill if you don't have underwear underneath.

Well, if she had underwear on, maybe you'd be able to see it through the garments on the outside. That would be terrible. That would ruin the look.

Ruin the look.

No one's gonna look at my pussy.

Have you ever had a girl like that? Did you go to a nightclub and they are not wearing underwear?

I have not, I would imagine. That's a wild lady.

It's hot.

That's. Yes.

I was one time dancing with a.

Girl and she told you?

No. She grabbed my hand we were holding and she, you know, walking through the dance floor. You know how chicks just fucking push people out of the way? And then we get to the dance floor and she pulls my arm and where is this? And it's soaking.

Damn. She's a wild one.

Wild one.

Viking babies. That's what that is. That she is the survivor and she was wrong. Survivors strong out there of the massacres.

And she was living in Australia. She had one of those jeeps that has one of those fucking things up front that kills the kangaroos, you know?

Whoa, we saw one of those in San Antonio. Right in front of the truck or. Yeah, yeah, the production trucks. You see that fucking crazy ones are.

Super tall, the top.

Oh, cuz they're big.

Because they're big. Yeah. And it's just. It looks mad Max. It looks like I'm up front. It looks crazy. And she had that jeep, she had like horns and then the balls hanging from the back, you know, the boat, the softballs that they had that. And she was just a fucking wild one.

Wow. Kangaroo shield the front of her vehicle.

Yeah, yeah. And this was like when I visited Australia and in my head I was like, kangaroos are like cutie patooties. But when you go to Australia they'll tell them like we hate them because they just keep jumping in front of cars.

Well, they're everywhere.

They're fucking everywhere.

They have a lot of kangaroos. It's a weird animal, man. It's marsupial. Like, it's so strange. They have a pouch. They keep their babies in their skin. How'd they develop a backpack?

It is the insaneest evolutionary. A little how back.

How does that mean? How does nature make you get a bag crazy? It's like one of the out of all the animals. So like, where the fuck did that come from? Like if you look at a deer and then you look at an elk, you go, oh, I kind of see. You look at a moose, you look at a caribou, you're like, oh, I can kind of see. And they're like, what's that? And why is it only in this one spot?

What does it jump like?

Yo, is that an alien? What is that thing?

Yeah.

Why did it develop on Australia and nowhere else? What the fuck is that thing? And how come there's nothing that can kill it?

And how come you stand on your tail and do like a Steve. Okay.

Kick you.

And do like a Steve o. Kick.

They kick you hard.

Yeah.

They fuck you up. They disembowel people, man. You gotta be really careful with those fuckers. Oh, and then die from the big ones. Are the big ones the gray ones that. The gray ones that the big one or the red one? Eddie ift went over there, he said he was walking through a backyard and there was like a six foot tall kangaroo. Jesus Christ. He thought it was fake. He didn't know what it was. And his friend was screaming at him, get. Turn around. Get the fuck away from it.

Jesus Christ.

The red kangaroo. That's the big one?

Yeah, dude, marsupial. That sounds like a fucking alien, too.

100 pounds. So you got to think a hundred pound thing that could run 43 miles an hour and it could probably strangle you. Like those ones that are jacked. You ever see the one that choke out dogs? Look at the fucking muscles on that thing. What a freaky animal to have all over the place. But it just looks. Look at that one.

I've seen all those pictures, by the way.

That's. That's one that went to my gym. That's gold. Look at that dude.

This guy.

Yeah, he's just chilling, flaunting giant muscles.

Just like, look at that.

Fucking guns on that player. Imagine getting in a scratching match with that thing with his giant claws.

No, no, you're done.

I mean, they're fuck you up, man. They're dangerous and they're all over the place. But that was my question, like, what was supposed to be killing them? Because there's no, like, infestations of wild animals like that unless something disrupts the ecosystem.

Huh.

You know, because you don't usually, usually there's a balance, right? Like, there's always going to be a balance between wolves and antelope or wolves and bears and wolves and deer, because they're going to figure out who wins. And if the wolves kill off too many of the deer, then their population is going to drop, they're going to run out of food, and there's going to be some sort of consequences. And then their population drops down, and then the deer population comes back a little bit. Nature has a way of balancing itself out in most environments until human beings step in and start fucking with things. So my question is, like, what happened over in Australia? That, that thing, that one crazy animal becomes like hordes of them, swarms of them. Like, do you see, we show, show some of those videos of the swarms of kangaroos just running. So these people are in their car and you see just like, I don't even know what the number is.

And they're fast, they're fat.

But it's also like, why are there so many of them? In any environment where there's something like this? There'd be something bigger that eats it. In every environment, there'd be a bear, there'd be something. I guess Australia has crocodiles, but I don't think you're doing such a good job of killing these things.

Yeah, and predators are just like dog like animals.

Oh, maybe the thylacine.

What the fuck is that?

Okay, the tasmanian tiger that went extinct. That's. That's a native of Australia as well. That they have that in Australia.

But they should have to shoot so many kangaroos.

Where is that, Jamie?

Tasmanian wolf. And a dingo. And a wedge tailed eagle.

Okay, so the humans probably killed all those animals. The humans probably killed all the dingoes. And what was the other animal?

Wedge tailed eagle.

Makes sense. That's probably exactly what it is. So. I bet. So the thylacine was Australia, though, right?

This says Tasmania. I just typed in marsupial natural predators, and tasmanian wolf is the first one listed.

Thylacine wolf. Yeah, but the thylacine, the tasmanian tiger.

And then, yes, this tasmanian tiger before they were extinct. And also humans.

Was that ever in Australia? Am I making that up? I feel like that's in Australia.

I mean, it definitely was in the movies as far as.

Right. That movie with. There's a good movie about a guy goes to kill it because they're trying to find it. The last. I was saying. Huh? What the fuck is Willem Dafoe? Yeah. Well, it's good movie. Yep. So what it is Australia to australian, right? Okay, so that there was that thing they the let. You ever seen one? They're freaky looking. Show the video of the last known living thylacine was in. Look at the mouth on that fucking thing. Look how big its mouth is. Isn't that insane? It's like a horror movie. Look at his fucking mouth. Have you saw that thing? Open its.

Wait, wait, wait.

At you.

It's a dog with a stripe and shit.

Yeah, it looks like a tiger. It's. It's a weird marsupial.

Rare photos of last.

I'm pretty sure they're marsupial as well. So they think that thing might be still alive. There might be limited numbers of them. Well, this isn't a task.

This is.

That's not real.

Somebody stood.

Oh, this is in color. Oh, they colorized it. Okay. Because I think the film is from, like, the 1930s, but this is the last one. And look, they have it in a fucking box, man. Oh, God. Zoos creep me out. We just get so comfortable with torturing last one animal mentally. I understand, but can you bitches afford a larger piece of land? God damn it.

Dude. This concrete.

That's crazy. At the last of these things alive, and you make it suffer in a small box with no pillow.

There's nothing either.

I hate.

Even as a kid, I remember, like, I just didn't. Yeah, I remember, like. Yeah. Even just seeing. I remember seeing, like, a hippo in a zoo. And all he has is a small. It's an estonian zoo, too, so. Yeah, and it's a small. Like, just a. Just a dribble of water on his head. And he would just. Because they're all drugged out and they. And they would just do this, like, just because also, you know, the animal doesn't know.

Dude, I was in Massachusetts once, and I was on my way home from. It was when I was driving limos, and I was coming down this highway, and I saw this really rinky dink zoo. And I was. I think I was coming from New Hampshire. I don't really remember, but I remember it was a long drive, and I had the rest of the day off. So I said, fuck it. I'm gonna go in this zoo and see what the fuck is going on in this zoo. Just for. For funsies. Cause I was out there and I saw this polar bear. I'll never forget this, dude. Just pacing. Just pacing.

Yeah, they pacing.

Just pacing. And I was like, oh, my God. He's in hell. It's a horrible thing to watch, man. It's a horrible thing to watch because, like, that's a sentient being that's experiencing a very bizarre and prolonged suffering and a disconnection from its kind. There's no other bear with it. It's just by itself. By itself in this cement thing. And while people stare at it. Something that would never happen in the real world.

He doesn't know what the fuck is happening. Cause it's the wrong climate. Everything's wrong. And he's like, why is my shit all so shitty? Yeah, but he doesn't even know that he's in a totally wrong.

He probably is happy in Boston for, like, five months, a year or four months here. But even then, it's probably not cold enough for him. I mean, those fuckers, they're used to living in places where there's nothing but ice.

But it's also like that thing of, like they say that. Oh, yeah. But if you let him go, he would die. But that's also. Because you just. That's.

You shouldn't have him in the first.

That's the matrix, the real world thing again, that animals also will have that thing where they're. If they're in the wild. I'm sure it's exactly like being in that matrix. Where in the zoo. Yeah. You have all your food, all the stimulus. You're alive.

Yeah.

But it's that you gotta get that stimulus. You're created to struggle, to hunt, to fucking.

Right. Which is the. I mean, there's a lot of similarities in human beings.

Absolutely.

There's a lot of people that are zoo animals.

It's like when you go to nature.

Yeah.

Like in Austin, because I do so much comedy. I'm also. I'm into cycling now, and sometimes I'll cycle out of the city, but every two weeks I have enough energy to do, like, a long cycle. And when I get to complete. That's why I love Estonia, too. That silence in the woods that you have. And you just feel. Because that's where for thousands of years we've been there, you know, that's where we've been in that silence.

Yeah.

With. No. And then you just feel rejuvenated immediately. You know? I love the sea. I love the ocean. I love woods. I've always been a big. And that's. That's. That's the same feeling you get, you know, it's just. You feel it in your blood. You know, something's fucking raw.

Yeah. You're alive.

It's uncomfortable, but it's war. Yeah, of course I want to be on Twitter in my farting and ordering uber eats. Of course I want to do that. That's the steep. That's the matrix.

That's the zoo.

That's the matrix.

It's the human zoo animal.

And of course, outside is uncle. A fucking mosquito. There's a guy. Yeah, there's whatever, you know, there's fucking. You hear some fucking animal, you don't know. I'm scared of fucking spiders, everything.

The bomb goes off. You hear the first recoil.

Yeah. Yeah.

You're out there when you hear it.

Yeah.

Then your feet start vibrating.

Yeah.

They took Chicago. Boom.

Jesus Christ.

Yeah, that's. That's what we have to look forward to. The way this fucking koofy place is being run, they're pushing us closer and closer to, like, something.

So my luck that as soon as I come to America, the fucking country collapses, huh?

It's not collapsing, but, boy, it's in a weird state of this strange struggle where people kind of forgot we're all supposed to be united, and that's our strength. And being divided the way we're being divided, especially being divided by bullshit, you know, like, you shouldn't be allowed to lie, and you shouldn't be allowed to lie in a campaign ad, and you shouldn't be allowed to use CGI to make your crowds look bigger. You shouldn't be allowed. You shouldn't be allowed to do any of these things. And we're allowing it. And it's having this tremendous impact on the way people see the news. The news is so filtered. Everything in this country that's in mainstream news, you have to follow a certain set of rules in order to be able to get information out. And if you want to talk about the campaigns, and if you want to talk about the war, and if you want to talk about what's going on in Ukraine and what's going on in Gaza, you have to have, like, very specific narratives, and you're not allowed to deviate from that at all. And then that's what's giving you the news.

And so we're all like, what the fuck is real? And so anytime anything happens, even when the president gets shot, we're like, was that even real? Like, we don't think anything's real anymore.

Absolutely.

What primes us for the Matrix when no one knows what anything's real anymore? It's so much easier. Just slide right in, Ari. Slide right in, Ari. And. Ah. We're in. Fuck the world, dude. I'm in a secure apartment complex. It's level five security. There's bank vault doors that lock to make sure the marauders don't get in while you're connected. And you could just be free in this other world and ride around your dragon on Pandora. You know, you're fucking that blue lady with the hair. Remember? They connected hairs with the dragon.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Wow.

That's what's gonna happen. And we're gonna give into it because we're making this world such a goddamn mess by not paying attention to what we're doing, not paying attention to the really important things. Like, don't let corporations tell you what's true. They're not gonna tell you what's true if they don't have to. If they can get away with not telling you. If they make more money. If they don't tell you. You can't have that. That's not how you get your news. You can't have that because it's just too easy to manipulate.

So easy to manipulate.

You know, insiders trading is illegal. But that's legal. That's legal. You can manipulate the news. Like what? You can have. Certain companies can advertise on the news and then you'll never criticize those companies. That seems weird. That seems weird.

Yeah. Somebody was explaining how. Isn't it crazy that. How, how any politician that wants to get elected never mentions tobacco, alcohol, like, never. The.

Right.

Because the back.

Yeah, you don't, you can't mention that.

Shit, which is crazy.

You can kind of mention cigarettes because people are so stupid they're gonna smoke them anyway. Like, it's just like, you can kind of get away with it. We should. Cigarettes should. Terrible. No one should smoke.

Yeah, yeah.

Soon as they can figure out, like a spray, like an inhaler that, excuse me.

They outlawed those a long time ago, which is weird.

Outload what?

Cigarette ads or, like, commercials.

Yeah, yeah.

On tv and radio.

Do they still have them on the Internet?

We've had, we haven't had to back or alcohol commercials for like ten years.

Yeah.

They used to only be in magazines.

And then your cigarette packs are so cool. It's like a throwback to my childhood because it's like the red, beautiful marble design in Europe and Australia and everyone, you know, they have like, the cancer on it and you have the baby. Oh, dead baby, premature babies, long black lung.

I'd like to see what else those people are doing.

100%.

They're blaming it on cigarettes. That guy is probably all fucked up in a lot of different ways.

Yeah. Hundred percent.

But I mean, you can criticize tobacco and no one really cares because people are going to keep smoking as long as it's legal. It's like alcohol. People are not gonna stop drinking. Shut up. They're not gonna. They want to drink. They're hanging out with friends, have a cocktail. Clink. Salute. You know, congratulations. Yay. Clink glasses. They're not. People like doing that. They're not gonna stop.

And part of the talk, all the shit you, part of the excitement of the clink is the fact that it's bad. Come on.

Little bit. That's the part of fun.

Yeah. It's part of.

A little bit. Absolute little bit of let's have fun. Yeah. And, you know, it's a good feeling when you're with friends and you have a couple of cocktails and you're laughing your ass off. Like, dude, it's a good feeling, but you shouldn't do it every goddamn day. It shouldn't be your whole life. It should. You shouldn't be drinking 12 hours a day every day.

But that's why it's so exciting is that life is not infinite. And you do take those small risks, and that's what's.

That's what's so exciting also, people that do drink 20 hours a day, those people in your life, in your journey, those people are examples where you can learn something without having to actually do it yourself. Like, you don't have to become an alcoholic and ruin your life, but you can see someone do it and say.

Okay, my stepdad was a bad one. Bad one of those where in the mornings he's. Because your system is, you know, your system is done in the mornings, in the bathroom, he would take two to 3 hours of, like, cheating, shitting, and then just heaving, you know, because your body is just rejecting all this poison.

Oh, God. So you hear him throw up every day.

Every day. And the violence, you know, there's no throw up left, but it's just the heaving. It's. And then put on a suit. Put on a suit. Bloated as fuck. Put on a suit. All happy puppy survive for 8 hours. And then he would. I remember he would come home, and as a child, he would come home and he would be in the car and just sit there and in his car, and I would see him sit there. And as a child. Yeah, as a child, you're like, oh, he's just taking a moment. Maybe you don't understand that this guy is barely keeping it together.

Yeah.

Because he's about to go down a rabbit and he's fighting the rabbit hole every. Every day.

Yeah.

He's just like, I don't want to.

And if you're drinking all the time, all the time.

Always small vodka, but small vodka bottles all the time. Get him quick.

Little airline ones.

Yeah. And his hands, you know, when the sobriety starts coming.

Ooh, sketchy disease.

It was bad. It was bad, yeah. And, and, but as a child. Yeah. You're like, oh, my God, I never want to do that. But when you start getting.

Was he ever happy when he was drunk?

There was a tipping point when he become happy? Mmm. No, it was like the first drink is always happy because your addiction is giving you all green lights, right? When you have an addiction, the first hit of that substance, right. All your body saying is less. All. It's all green lights, baby. This is the night. This is the night. Yes, let's fucking go. Because it's your dicky. It's your addiction. Yeah, let's fucking rock and roll. But then, you know, as a child growing up in that environment, there would always be that point where you see him on the couch, and that looked, you know, an alcoholic's look is, you know, the detachment of the soul.

Yeah, it's a dangerous look.

It's. Then it's time for you to go to your room, you know, and just fucking hang out there and wait for the storm to pass, you know?

Yeah.

And it's like. And it was like. Yeah, there was always that point of.

Like, it's such a creepy fucking.

And when you're a child, you're like, oh, don't do that. But when you start getting older, you also feel, like. Start feeling empathetic of, like, you know, I don't know, the life he lived as well. You know, substance abuse always works with trauma really well. They go hand to hand. So this guy's childhood, you know, the more I just.

True.

Which is true because I hated him. I fucking hate. He was a.

You know, if he's drinking heavily, it also could be like, family influenced, like, sometimes.

That's what I found out later.

Behavior when you're young.

Absolutely. That's what I found out later, that he was in a. I thought, I'm in a dark spot when he's home.

You know, I had friends that became alcoholics that didn't necessarily have childhood trauma as much as they had childhood influence. And then friends that kind of all went down a bad road, and they were all, like, doing hard drugs and drinking a lot. You know, it just becomes a part of the culture of your little community if you're hanging with a group of people that just likes to get fucked up all the time. Yeah, it can. I've seen it suck good people in. Like, everybody wants to say that there's, like, some sort of a reason why you get sucked into it. Had friends that have nothing wrong in their life. They're happy people, and they take oxies, and they don't want to stop taking them. Jesus, they get injured, something happens, they take them, they don't want to stop. They feel good. They don't want to stop. And essentially, oxycodone. We learned this recently, is what Hitler was taking during the war. They were giving him form of oxycodone. We had this gentleman on the podcast the other day that. What was his name again, right in front of you? Oh, here it is. Norman.

Sorry, Norman. Norman. Oler, this is all about Hitler's drug use during World War two. But he was talking about that video, and he didn't think that video was real. Oh, I was like, why do you think that? Because he had a direct, like, a line of history between when Hitler gets introduced to this one doctor and the drugs this doctor's giving him.

And that's the olympic games one.

Yeah. So that's 36. That should be before all that stuff happened in his mind. But I'm of the opinion that Hitler, if you can get him to go on oxycodone a year from now, he's probably trying some shit that he didn't tell you about. That's what I would imagine. So the doctor, he's getting notes from the doctor who treated Hitler. How the fuck do we know how honest Hitler was with that doctor? He was probably already taking a bunch of shit. They already knew stuff was real.

And when you're a leader, you don't want any of that information out there. You know, that you're fucking.

Also, there was zero stigma when they first created meth.

Oh, when they were.

Yeah. And he. Norman was showing us this. What was it called? Pervading. Is that the right name? So they had a literal brand of methamphetamine that they would sell.

Commercials. You know, there's this commerce. Those german commercials. I've seen those fucking crazy productivity.

They were taking a low dose of meth, and they were giving it to the soldiers. This blitz book is insane because it's a story about how the Nazis were jacked up on meth, and they just went all the way through Poland in three days and that they just never. They never slept. They just kept marching.

I used to have a bit that, you know, while Germany was testing with meth, you guys in America were testing with LSD. And I would have loved to see those two armies meet, by the way.

No, that's another part of his thing. The Nazis were testing with LSD as well. They were running tests on the prisoners. They were running tests. Concentration camp prisoners. Yeah, they were, yeah. The test never came to fulfillment because the prison camps got liberated. But they were doing it said record of them doing that with LSD.

But meth is the perfect war drug if you think of it. You just fucking get amped up and jump into a ditch with a bayonet.

Right?

You're gonna go, you need some meth to have a bayonet?

100%. 100%. That's the right drug for a good soldier.

Yeah.

At the front of the line they get. And they had different dosages for different people. So if someone was in a tank, they get the most. They get the most mess because they're fucking, let's fucking go. That's the front of the line. You know, they're the ones are gonna get attacked first. They have to be the most messed up.

And who you put on LSD, the guy who plans the attack or something.

Do you know that it was at Iraq or Afghanistan where soldiers were listening, like death metal while they were operating tanks? If you see. Have you ever seen videos of dudes, like, operating from inside of tanks?

Mm hmm. It's death metal.

That's gonna be the craziest job the world has ever known. You're in a giant metal box.

Towards.

War, and you hoping that thing doesn't break. You hope it doesn't break and leave you out there. You're hoping that when it gets shot at Orlando, who knows? The transmission fails, and then you're out there in enemy territory while they're shooting missiles at you.

I've always thought that because the Germans were the first ones with a tank, with a panzer, right? That was correct. Right?

I don't know.

I think so.

I think so.

And I remember always thinking, like, imagine, like, being like, a russian, russian soldier or something, and you're with, like, a bolt action rifle and you see that fucking here. You don't even know what the fuck that is.

Yeah.

And you're like a car, but then you see and, dude, that feel. Clunk. Nothing. Cluck, cluck, clunk.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. A tank.

A tank.

What an insane idea.

Basically what the scene is from all part of the western front. It's pretty. Oh, pretty fucking badass.

Yeah.

Time to watch it because we're doing a podcast, but.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, exactly.

First time they see the tank.

Look at this. Fuck. Look at this. Imagine.

Can't stop.

It's literally like seeing a transformer right now. Like, if you would see this and nobody told you.

I watch it.

It's an amazing movie.

I heard it's awesome. I heard that's the new one, right?

It's different from the book slightly, but it's still.

It's good story.

Yeah. Well, I'm sure there's no happy war movies. That's a no movies.

Some american ones are fucking awesome. Blackouts, jarhead. Those are all fucking amazing, dude.

The pink mist missing in action.

Really?

Yeah. Back. America made karate kicks in the jungle with cowboy boots on.

American movies made war seem the coolest. Shit ever.

You know, um, not always. Saving Private Ryan certainly didn't.

Yeah, fair.

That was like, it's full metal jacket. Certainly didn't. Yeah, that's my favorite.

That is a good.

All the war movies.

I was too young when.

Apocalypse now. There. Here is his missing in action. Chuck doors. He's driving around on a. On an inflatable.

This is the America I grew up in, bitch.

You can't hit him. He's Chuck Norris. And so.

They'Re shooting at a boat that nothing happens.

They can't even come close to hitting a. And then they go chase after him. Guess what's gonna happen? Well, I'll tell you right now. Chuck Norris gonna fuck them up. Because he's Chuck Norris.

So fun. Oh, my God. He jumps like Aquaman. Look at him. Look at him.

Look at him.

Look at him.

Bitch, you didn't get Chuck Norris. I mean, these movies are amazing.

Amazing.

They're amazing because they're like, almost like you're watching a cartoon, you know? But then you can get like, full metal jacket, which is. That's an intense. That's a totally different experience. Like, that's. That's war, I think, in a much more realistic light, for sure, what those people experienced.

Yeah, sure.

Imagine being a fucking kid back in the sixties when you didn't really have any way of knowing what the fuck was actually going on.

And also, yeah, they're saying that the fucking end of the world's coming and you're the last frontier. You know, you have no way to check it. And even questioning it would be in bad taste, you know?

Yeah. You're not supposed to. And the people are labeled traitors, like Muhammad Ali.

That is true.

They send you over there.

That. The american truth. Oh, yeah. That's a crazy young. I saw this too young because I didn't quite get it.

You know, you should watch it again.

Yeah, I have to.

Fucking great.

Fucking dark. I remember that scene when he was in the bathroom before he shot himself in the face with his toe through the fucking.

Yeah.

Rifle.

God.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That is true. That the american troops were much more. Because you've never been invaded. So at least our trauma that we heard from grandfathers and shit with swallows about, like, it was almost a heroic thing of standing up for your country. Whereas american, maybe it's kind of like, why are you going there? You know? And that trauma must be bad when you're coming back because they told you that it's a. You're the fucking. You have to save the world, basically.

Well, they were telling them that they had to fight the communists. Right? And they told them that the communist North Korea had attacked a boat, an american boat. That never happened. The Gulf of Tonkin incident.

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Just made up this story. So they. They made up this propaganda bullshit and they created a false flag. And through that, they justified us going into war. And it went on for a long fucking time, and it didn't make any sense. And no one today thinks it made any sense. No one today thinks it makes a good idea, or it was a good idea, rather, unless you're some insane war lover. Anybody look at Vietnam. Well, Vietnam overall is a net positive because here's what we got out of Vietnam. This is what came out of that war. Okay, first of all, the culture shifted. That's how it needed to happen. Like, you couldn't even come up with justifications. Why would we go into this country and fire bomb them and spray Agent Orange? And who knows how many people come home with fucking cancer because you used a deforestation technique that's like, this horrific chemical. It kills people.

Mm hmm. Crazy.

It's nuts. It's nuts. And they did it because people back then didn't have any access to information. There was no way to know. There was no expose showing that, you know, this is not a real attack. There's no reason for us to be over there. There's other things involved here that's causing people to want to send us troops to Vietnam and probably none of them. Good for you. Like, you, really, as a United States citizen.

That's why. Yeah.

Best served the world. Be best served you right here.

Well, 100%.

100%. You need to go over there and firebomb a village because someone told you to. You don't need to go over there and fucking climb into a tunnel and go and try to fight some Viet conga. Why are you there? Makes no sense. But they tricked people and they did it for a long ass time. It went on for years. And so the fact that they can still pull it off today, that they can still. I mean, who knows? Today, like, what we're going to look back on. Like, we look at the Gulf of Tonkin incident or what we're going to look back on and realize that it had been manipulated. So the event was real. But the event was caused by a series of moves behind the scenes to ensure that war takes place. And there's so much complication when it comes to these things because there's so much money being thrown around.

Yeah.

And then at least today we have other outlets for information. At least today, you can kind of get a sense of how things are true or not true, based on really intelligent people that, you know, that are online, that are talking about them, and you go, no, it's actually this, like, with that female boxer. Like, that was a big one, right? Wherever. It's like, okay, what is going on? Yeah, is that a female? Is that a male? Is that someone has X Y chromosomes.

I saw that information that it was the xy thing early, but it was just the Levine of that. It's a man just came a bit too strong, because the both information came out pretty much. I would. In my sources, I would say I saw a similar time where I was like, oh, it's a man. But then you just open another scroll a bit more, and then you see the xy chromosome thingy, and then you're like, okay, but just the Levine of that. It's a dude. Came on a bit strong.

Well, the xy chromosome is male.

Yeah, yeah, it's that male. Yeah, but the definition of like was because I think the first. The first reaction was that it's a man transitioning to a woman.

Right. That's what people thought initially, and then they realized, no, this is someone who has a genetic issue. But there was another. There was a boxing committee that had, I'm gonna send you this, Jamie, because this kind of makes it all make, like, a little bit more sense. But it was essentially that there's different versions of these kinds of diseases that people have, and depending on those versions, some of them, they're just. They go through male puberty, and they have male frames, and they're male. But when they're born, they have, like, significant issues. Okay, so here it is. I found it, and I'll send it to you, Jamie. But it's. European vice president of the World Boxing Organization has come forward to confirm that algerian boxer Emain Khalif is male. This person said he warned the Olympic committee about several male boxers in the women's category, but nothing was done. Done. Who knows? You know, I don't. I don't have any direct information about whether that is a male or female.

Let's just say that one, two slaps.

One two's not bad. But also, that person's lost before.

Yeah.

To female boxers. But here's the thing.

But that doesn't.

That doesn't mean, like, there's a lot of girls out there, boys that can kick your ass.

Exactly.

There are, you know, get in the ring with Amanda Nunes. Good luck, pige. She'll fuck you up. And she's a woman. Right. There's women that are really, really good. And this person might not be that good, but it seems like they went through male puberty, which should exclude you from competing as a woman. They look male. They have male frame, they have Xy chromosome. You're being told that you're a bigot for looking at very obvious what we have always considered biological representations. Right? Like what? What is it? What is it in biology when something is a male human being? Do they have an xx chromosome or do they have an xY? They say, well, they have an xY. Well, we know that. But saying that makes you a bigot, which is insanity.

As a sports commissioner, that's very black and white for me, at least. A chromosomal issue, you know, that's what the enhanced games. As a human, I do feel empathetic towards her, you know, as a. Just. It's a bit of a pickle.

Yeah. But I don't necessarily know if that's a her. This is the problem. What they're saying. It's a male with a sexually. Some developmental disease that they. Or developmental issue, some genetic anomaly, something that happens. But they're going, they have testes and they go through male puberty and they don't have the ability to get pregnant. I don't even know if they have ovaries.

Do they have ovaries in this situation?

I don't think they have eggs.

I'm reading a version that CB's sports put out where they talk to the International Olympics Committee and the IBA.

They're saying these tests are not legitimate tests. Yeah, I was gonna bring this up, too. They were saying that some people think that it's because the Soviets did them. They don't trust them. So the International Olympic Committee spokesperson Mark Adams said in a press conference on Sunday, the tests themselves, the process of the tests and the ad hoc nature of the tests are not legitimate. The testing, the method of the testing, the idea of the testing, which happened kind of overnight, none of it is legitimate. And this does not deserve any response. Okay, that's. By saying it's not legitimate is a very weird thing.

I had read that came up after this event where she beat an undefeated boxer. And then people got right mad.

Right? But did this person. Let's google this then. Did this person, this boxer, did they take a chromosome test? Did you see that article?

This article says that that original right here. Originally, the test was kept confidential, did not go on, did not undergo a testosterone examination, but were subject to a separate and recognized test whereby the specifics remain confidential. Then the next day, or like Monday, I don't know how many days later that was. Then they came out and said something different.

These testing show they have a high level of testosterone, Kremlev said. Like men, they have men's level of testosterone. We cannot go further in our investigation. Whether they were born like men or some changers intervene at the later stages.

And then that's where the IOC said what you read earlier, where these tests are not legitimate.

Right. But they're not saying why they're not legitimate. This is what gives me pause when they just keep saying it's not legitimate. The ad hoc nature of the tests are not legitimate. You have to say when you're talking about a scientific test, this is some test that's repeatable, right? So if you can test for xy chromosome versus xx chromosome, do it. Tell me what the results are. If you can test for testosterone, do it. Tell me what the results are. And if one says male, says XY and the other one says high levels of testosterone, own, that's not a woman. Okay.

Sports wise, yeah.

Sportswise, yeah.

That one, two slaps with shoulders.

But it's also, it's like, what are we doing? Like, why do we have women's sports in the first place? If you let, I mean, you could say that some people have a genetic anomaly. Like that woman, she had X XY, right? She was like a legitimate hermaphrodite. I believe testosterone levels, not xy chromosome, which is the pattern typically seen in men, are the key criteria of eligibility in olympic events, where the sports governing body has framed and approved rules.

That's interesting, but it's the same thing with, with when, like, totally, I mean, genetical women start doing steroids. That's the whole thing about women's sports, is the big problem. I remember, like, once they do it, they change their. I'm not making accusations, but Chris Cyborg, I remember was a big thing in Strikeforce where it was the first time I saw, where I was like, like, this is a big loophole in women's sports right now, especially combat sports, because it's about doing actually physical damage, 100%. It's very visibly seen the difference. It's very, in other sports where it's reaction time and whatever, tennis or whatever, you might make the argument of, like, just get better at the technique, you know? But in combat, it's very visible because it's not only about the body and whatever. It's literally people who are on. Testosterone has been proven harder to ko because you just ramped up.

Yeah.

You're testosterone. It's literally like the cold particle in the sense of fucking sports.

They've stopped some fighters from fighting because they tested so hard.

Absolutely.

They're like, get out of here.

This fucking guys.

Yeah, yeah.

I remember it was. Who fell. I remember was jail son and Alistair over him. They used to fail tests where it was like. Like. Like the number. It's like there's the rage of 18 men coming at you right now.

Well, that's Vitor Belfort in his prime, right? Oh, the TRT V tour days I.

Only could beat in Brazil. I want to be horrible. Oh, sure.

I got demon. He would come at you like a demon. Yeah.

He would have those videos where he was, like, on an elliptical machine and.

He was thing about this, too. It's like, if they're saying they're testing for testosterone level, how often are you doing that? Because guess what? It's easy to make your testosterone levels crash. Real easy.

Well, the whole thing is always that. It's that testings. Yeah, you can. It's like. It's like pirating. They're always a step ahead. They're always.

But all you have to do to kill your testosterone levels are drink alcohol, eat shitty food, and don't just fucking.

Live in the mountains of Dagestan and hope the connection flight is a bit late.

That's ultimate.

Very interesting that you went to a training camp. Yeah. They're the best wrestlers, huh? Very interesting.

Well, they are the best wrestlers.

True. But jacked. Yeah.

So. Is that what you're saying?

Yeah.

Yeah. Well, I would imagine that if they knew for a fact that you couldn't get to the North Pole to do a drug test.

Yeah.

There'd be a fucking mma camp on the North Pole.

Yeah. Also, I went to a camp in Thailand back in the day, and I remember over there, it was like, not even a secret, really. I go to the camp and it's like, american fighters would be there and.

Everybody would know that. That's why they're doing.

Not everybody would know. They'll be like, fucking who? Like, handing out shots at a bar. Who wants to syringe? You know, what are we doing? And they're. No, there's not, dude, these are all retards. There are smoking joints and sparring. There's nobody doing, like, we need to do. There's like, nah, fucking give me what you got.

And are these people, like, pros?

Semi pro. You know, you live in a Honda Civic. And every once in a while, you move back to your parents place because it's. Because it's fighting hard. Fighting is really hard. It's hard, dude.

So you this. Some people don't know you. You. When did you start doing stand up comedy? And when we were you fighting at the same time you were doing stand up comedy, did they overlap?

Transitionary period. And I started, okay, so this is my martial arts history, of course, as I mentioned, had a stepdad who was fucking crazy. So there was that insecurity, you know, there's that thing of, like, I'm not saying that having a father who's maybe violent towards your mother is a bit better, but I think there's a bit of a more evolutionary connection that a family dynamic can have. Whereas if you're like a twelve to 1314 year old Boyden and a new guy, you're supposed to be the man of the house even though you're a child.

Right.

You're support your. It's my sister and my mother, and it's our dynamic. And a new guy moves in, and this retard is now.

And he's an alcoholic.

Yeah. So that creates, obviously, insecurity, sadness in the house, tension. No, dude, I would still. No, my mom riff city. My mom has always been rift city. She was. She was always having fun throughout all the darkness in our life. We had a rough. We had some rough periods, you know, but in my house, it's always been fun city. I would always. It's always been my humor. I would literally, dude, I would have points where it's me and my mother on fucking because we would just leave the house during the night. You know, we just walk towards. And my sister was a bit older, so she moved out. So we would just walk in the night towards the direction, and she would try to call all her friends where to stay for the night because this ape is fucking and going bananas back home. And there would be. We would be on the sidewalk, you know.

So what did you start out with? Which, what was the first martial art that you.

And the next day I would go to school and still be fucking happy, puppy. Just because, I don't know. That was how we. We came up. Right. So then there was this program called Kick Ass Martial arts, and it was Chris Crudely, this guy, solpatch, british guy. He would travel the world. And this was at a point where pride and UFC were happening, but in traditional martial arts, were still holding on. Wing Chun was holding on. Aikido was holding on. Kung fu was kind of. It was kind of going away, you know? But Chris Cordelli had a program where he would travel the world and study these ancient. There was this, like, dim muck where it's like, ha. And seven years later, you die of cancer, you know, all that shit. And as a kid, I'm like, oh, that's all I gotta do. Move to Korea for two weeks, study this fucking deathtouch, and just come back and kill somebody, you know?

Yeah.

But then I remember I saw UFC. I saw a few pride fights from Fedori Malonenko because he was russian. He was a big, prominent figure in the martial arts community. But I remember I saw Lyoto Machida Shogun, the first one. And in my head, because Machido looked like a traditional martial artsist, you know, because you was half asian or something, you know. So in my head, I'm like, why doesn't he do the. Why don't these people do that, Chris? Crudely shit, you know, fucking neutralize your opponent to a wrist lock. Then I start watching Pride van der Ley Silva. He's stomping people, holding onto the ropes, stomping. And in my head I'm, why doesn't he do the dim muck? You know? Hi. And you fucking. So then I was maybe 1516 late, late when I was doing gymnastics, and I was doing a bit of weightlifting, and I saw dudes, like, wrestling, you know, and I started thinking, like, greco Roman. And I saw them, like, suplex jacked guys in fucking. Just suplexing each other. And that's where the wheels start turning of, like, dude, you're not gonna wrist lock this guy. You're not gonna, you know.

Right.

I'm not gonna death touch this guy. This guy's gonna run through me. Me. So I joined a gym. SPG subsidiary gym Preet Mickelson. Shout out my man. He was a great mentor and a father figure at that time for me. And I joined his gym, and it was jujitsu. Emma. We did everything together, you know? And I had my first amateur fight, like, five months into. Into, like, doing a it. That's crazy, that's crazy, that's crazy.

Now, did they make sure the person fought? Didn't have a lot of experience either?

Yes, but he was, like, 34.

Oh, no.

Yeah.

That's not fair.

And he went to war. He was like a former military. Stared down a tank.

Jesus Christ.

Yeah, but he was still. Amateur rules, but still MMA gloves. Fucking haymaker city, you know?

Right. Was he good?

Yeah, he choked me to sleep. I didn't never stop I tried to tap. I was too late, but, yeah, I.

Would not recommend that. I would not recommend you getting your ass kicked by someone who has a lot more experience. At five months in, I would. I always think you got to give.

I think we were the same experience in martial arts, but he was a man, dude. I'm a suburban boy.

Was he, though? Let me tell you something. If he got to be, how old? 30 something and he went to war, that dude's had training. Yeah. I mean, it's not just five months of training.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Listen, that kind of guy is done a little bit here, a little bit there. That kind of guy probably boxed a little when he was younger, did a little karate.

We were such a small community that I still trained with him. I remember, and. Oh, wow, it was, yeah, boy, was fine.

So he was nice to you after he choked you to sleep?

No, before. I mean.

Oh, you trained with him before?

He was such a small community, you know, so I wouldn't say the skill discrepancy was actually that big, but it was just when you go to war and you can be in a competition, I'm having a full on panic attack.

Yeah.

You know, I'm fucking first time in, you know, fucking hand to hand correct situation.

He's a man.

This guy's stare down a tank. Of course.

Were you at the time 16? Yeah. That's not fair.

Yeah. And also like a pussy 16. Another like a Taka Stanley 16, where it's like, hair on my knuckles and I have two kids. Those are like, the real money, dude. Whenever you would in those amateur circuits, whenever, it's like, I don't know if Americans do that, but, like, if you say you're fighting an american, do you guys slip in that? It's like, it's Jerome. You know, it's. You're gonna just so you're ready, it's gonna be a bit of explosive opponent. Like, in Estonia, it's like, if you're fighting a russian guy, are you finding Ivan who's like me, he's a russian guy? Or are you fighting somebody whose name ends with a very different. It's still Russia.

Mountain rushes.

We say from the hills. Yeah, we always say from the hills. Like, it's. It's a bit of a, it's a bit of a different double leg that's gonna come at you, you know?

Dude, did you see that Corey Sandhagen Umar nirmal Ghomedov fight?

Of course. Of course.

Ooh, so high.

I felt bad for Sandhagen. He was wrestling so well. Everything correctly. It was everything. Sandhagen was cool. He didn't get backed up into the corner too early. He was keeping his distance. He had good knees and good jiu jitsu. What I liked about send Higgin in that fight, he used jiu jitsu. He used proper jiu jitsu. And for the first two rounds, it's exactly like the Khabib thing. The first two rounds you can actually out hustle. Not out hustle him, but you can, you can just, you can be explosive enough to create those moments of jiu jitsu where you can stay safe.

Right.

But that train just keeps coming.

The train keeps coming.

Just fucking keeps coming.

And me, you know, think the difference in Umar versus Khabib is that Umar is stand up. His stand up is his. So dynamic. His kicking is so dynamic. It's so dangerous and quick. You know, like he throws head kicks off the front leg quick. He throws things that are fast.

Yeah, he threw that front switch. Kick. Not even a switch. It was just. He just slapped it out there.

Yeah, dude, he's good.

He's very good.

Real good. His striking was on point, like everything was on point. And he's more threatening wrestling. Wrestling very, it's like, it was a more potent combination of the skills that Corey has as well. I mean, he's a, he's. Sandhagen's brilliant. He's one of the best fighters in the sport, in my opinion.

Yeah.

So to see a guy like Umar beat him, you're like, wow, that's hot. And come on strong in the fourth and the fifth. That guys. That guy's fucking good, man. Yeah, he's fucking good. And him versus O'Malley would be wild. Wild. Him versus Mara will be wild too.

Well, Marab and him, I want to see more because Mara is also a bully.

You know, Rob is a different, it's like he's boldly different. He's made out of different stuff. They say Marab trains hard, like right up into the fight. You can see that. You can see that with a guy like that. You're always like, okay, how long can you joint hold out?

Exactly?

How long is he gonna be before your back goes? Your will will carry you through. If it. If the human body wasn't so goddamn fragile, guys like that would never get beat.

Never get beat. Yeah, exactly. That's the whole thing. Yeah.

Like Kane Velazquez when his body started going.

Also, Marab's been dropped and hurt. I think it was Marlon Vera who hurt him.

Bad, had him really bad. Then he went out and stopped him in the next round.

Yeah, exactly.

Well, Mirage had that thing where, poor bastard.

This guy feels so bad for him because he was so good.

So good.

But just, it's such a chaotic sport where a few bad fights just can have such a tremendous amount of impact to your fights that the next ones.

You know, well, the cejuda fight, man, the first round, he was lighting Henry up.

Lighting him up where?

I was like, if this guy can keep this up for five rounds, Henry's gonna get stopped. Henry just came on in the second round like an animal and beat the shit out of him. He closed the door.

He had one in PFL, too, with that left hook and that switch kick.

Ah, yeah.

He killed Aljama and Sterling.

Oh, yeah, man. Bad. He koed aljamain bad.

Went for a switch kick to the body. Alderman shot in the knee.

But then once he lost to Henry, he started losing to a lot of folks.

A lot. And now it's like there was the.

The sandhagen dropped him with a wheel kick. Remember that?

Yeah, that was a bad one too. Right to the tempo.

Yeah. That's just so the skill, diversity that guy has. He could do everything. Sandhagen's so good.

Everything.

So to watch Umar beat him, God damn. Umar's the truth. He's the truth. It's like those guys in that part of the world, like.

Yeah. And they're so frustrating because it's not like an incredible thing that they're doing. You know, if you watch somebody like Conor McGregor who has that fucking death touch, it's such a spectac. It's such like, oh, my God, this guy has the power, right? But these guys freaking just out hustle you, out grind you, and they keep coming. They keep coming annoying and bully and mean.

But then you got guys like Islam that could do everything. And Umar, this is the difference. Yeah, Islam is scary standing up. Like, in the beginning of his career, he was really good at wrestling. Not as good at standing up, but now he's just as good at standing up. When you ko Volkanovski like that, you know, and then you choke out Dustin Poirier like that. Like that guy, he's got. That's the full thing, right? He can head kick you. He could strike with you and knock you. Knocked out glaze tebow with one shot standing. He can knock you out, like legitimately. And he could still strangle you and he could still smother you. Like, it's the perfect combination, but it's like that is such a crazy strategy. It's like you're outmanning every guy. You fucking fight his out, grappling him out, striking him. Most people, like, try to be, like, a specialist.

Exactly. But they're like the full marauder.

The full marauder, man.

Yeah.

I think if you wanted to, like, really think about, like, who's the most complete fighter you got, you say, like, Max Holloway, Ilya Taporia, but Islam Akechev, you got to put it on top of the. He's the most complete. He could ko you with a head kick. Well, just like Jon Jones, if John Jones.

Let's not forget the one true God, that's my boy.

The problem with Jon is the most.

Dangerous man who've ever lived.

Unfortunately, that shoulder injury and then the uncertainty about moving up in the heavyweight, like, how's he going to deal with guys like Francis? Which was always the big fight. That was the big fight.

That was the fight that slipped between our fingers. It was the fedor, Brock Lesnar all over again. That was a big one that slipped through our fingers.

That was the fight. Because, you know, the question is, would Francis be able to keep John off of him?

Exactly.

You know, and would John be able to avoid the big strike standing?

Exactly.

You know, there's a difference in size that's pretty significant. Even when John was getting big, it's a different kind of big. You know, like, the 265 that Francis carries around. That's a natural lean 265.

Yeah, it's like a. I mean, it's a coal. What was it, cobalt mining or some shit?

No.

Sand mines and mines. Yeah, that's a different guy.

That dude's power is extraordinary, especially with them little gloves on. You cannot get clipped by that guy. You cannot get clipped by that guy. So the question is, would John be able to get ahold of Francis? Would Francis be able to keep John off him? If Francis can keep John off of him, would Francis be able to stop those leg kicks? Because John sidekicks the shit out of people's knees, and it'll fucking scare you because it makes your leg hyperextend. It'll blow your knee out.

Mean.

It's mean.

I loved Jon Jones when he was mean. Glover de Shera with that. With that overhook. Remember that overhook that he had on the shoulder?

Yeah.

Mean elbows.

How about Thiago, Tiago? How to get two knee surgeries, both knees.

Skilletin with Machida. As soon as he goes out, put him to sleep.

Just dropped him. Yeah. Well, his. His run in the light heavyweight division was unprecedented.

Nothing. Nothing like it literally created for human consciousness. His body looked insane. Small torso with limbs coming out. It looked insane if you saw his silhouette. Looks insane, right?

And that's how small calves are. Yeah. But yet tremendous strength. Strong and smart. And the best guy ever. It likes utilizing distance. Strong mentally, for sure.

Mentally. And clever. Clever, yeah.

We just have to see him back and the. Apparently they're trying to do that thing. It's supposed to be in Madison Square Garden, right? Is that announced officially? Young Jamie John Jones versus stipe, Madison Square Garden, November. So there's being talked about also.

No dispect to stipe, but I don't want to see that fight that badly as I want to see, you know.

I feel like you got to give stipe one more shot.

Okay.

I feel like the guy's been strung around for this long. If you want to respect the history and the lineage of the UFC heavyweight championship, he's the most accomplished UFC heavyweight of all time. The title more than anybody. And, you know, he stopped Daniel Cormier. He's a legit fucking killer. He stopped a lot of, like, very, very good people. He stopped junior Dosan.

He also won. Francis.

Yeah, he beat Francis the first fight.

He heard him the second time.

Yeah, but it wasn't the second time. It was different. Francis.

Jesus Christ. One of the scariest chaos I've ever seen in my life. In the apex.

Yeah. Dude, being there live was incredible.

Oh, you were the light.

Oh, yeah. So there was, like, a hundred people in that place when he followed up.

With the hammer fist neck area.

Bro. That left hook was. And it was like when Stipe was trying to, like, capitalize on a shot, he landed.

It's one of those victories where me and the boys were on the couch, and it's not a whoo, it's a.

Just a yeah. Yeah. Because also, you know how much damage Stipe has taken in his career.

Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. And steeper hurts him.

There it is. He hit him with that left foot. Really hurt him.

Yeah, yeah. But Steve also hurts him. Steve also hurts him. Look at this.

Bing.

And now steeper goes, oh, thought he had it.

So he moved. He thought he had him when he landed that right hand. And.

Ah, Christ, my lord.

So apparently he's gained a bunch of muscle. Steve a has. He's been lifting a lot. And, you know, he hasn't fought in two years. Yeah. Thank God. But for me, when I look at an older fighter like Stipe, who's a legend, I say, that's kind of what I want. I want a guy to take a long time off in between a bad ko and then, you know, no one's more disciplined than that guy. He's a very disciplined, dedicated fighter. That's why he would. Is the most successful UFC heavyweight champion ever. He's also 40 something years old, right?

42, I think, even.

Okay. So you gotta. If you just look realistically at natural athletes, when they get to that age, you have concerns, like how much of their performance do they have left? Like, and it varies, but it does last longer as a heavyweight.

Absolutely. Heavyweights, they can, because it doesn't. The nervous system doesn't need to be as a rapid fire, as in a younger accent.

Bantamweight. Yeah, yeah. Like 42 year old bantamweight. Kind of done. But George Foreman won the heavyweight title at 45.

Absolutely. So Bernard Holland.

Yeah, but Bernard was a freak. I just feel like as a fan and as a person who respects the sport, you gotta give stipe a shot.

Okay. Yeah, yeah.

Especially when he was supposed to fight John and then John Torres.

See, with me, it's just like if. If it's a classic thing of. It's the mean quote that Don King used to have that why he. When they asked him why he was like, ripping off Mike Tyson, he was like, you gotta keep the lion hungry, you know?

Know, God, imagine that's your justification? Because you stealing money.

I know, but Mike Tyson fought six times that year, so.

That's true. Right? That's true. But that is for some of those guys, that.

That's not some, it's as soon as. Cuz, you know, I was a big corner guy, SBG, delineage, we were. Had a connection, you know? And as soon as Connor started getting rich, I wasn't, you know, as soon as Jon Jones got rich, all of us a matter home. Let me guess. Never gonna see you.

I don't think that's what happened with John. With John, there was a bunch of other factors.

True lifestyle, like. Absolutely. And that's why that steeper fight is also exhilarating of, like, the traditional family guy in the gym and then the.

Other guy who's the greatest psycho that's ever.

And I love it, dude. When he went to Vegas to get his hall of fame induction and just disappeared into the night.

I like the aspinall.

How many milligrams are those?

Threes.

Can I have one?

Yeah. This is athletic nicotine. It's another company.

Yeah, somebody gave me eight milligrams yesterday. I was having a panic attack.

That's ridiculous. That's too ridiculous.

Like a panic attack at two a. I like.

I've cut my consumption quite a bit. I like that photo. I think Jon Jones and Tom Aspinall is an interesting fight, but if we just. A big, fast heavyweight. He's a fucking powerhouse, man. And he's big. He's big as shit and big as shit. If you look at fights where John has had difficulty, some of them have been like really elite strikers. Like he had some difficulty with Lyota Machita before he got off first round.

Machito.

He had some difficulty with Dominic Reyes.

Absolutely.

Dominic Reyes. Some people even thought he lost that fight.

Absolutely. Even Thiago Silva. No, not Silva.

Santos.

Santos.

That's the guy who would kick both his knees out. But that was a split decision.

Yeah. And even there, Thiago was. Even though Thiago was hectic and temperamental in his exchanges, not like a refined.

Striker, but he's a super dangerous.

It created problems for John still.

That fucking sledgehammer that that dude has tattooed on his chest, that's for real. That's how hard he hits. That. That's. Dude had a sledgehammer tattooed on his tits. It's amazing. But that dude was scary.

But also with Aspinall and Jones, you know, every time people say dude, watching him and Cyrilgan, and all respect to Cyrilgan, but he never felt anything. It was. It was a made up guillotine. Even just on the cage, he just was like, check this shit out.

Yeah, but as long as he gets a hold of your neck and he's doubling you up in that position where you can press his chest on your head, that's. With a guy like John with his kind of squeeze, that's horrific. You guys like Cyril Gan, that's only been grappling for like five years. You're going to get strangled.

It's just that even with Jon Jones, you know, the heavyweight division has always been a shallow division due to the reason of genetic people being just that size of humans. There's a very small percentage, including heavyweight boxes, 100%.

Always see that guy. Bakoli. Knockout Jared Anderson. Yeah. Holy shit. That Bakoli guys terrify.

Holy shit.

Holy shit. I'd heard about him from sparring sessions.

That's the first fight I saw.

Yeah, yeah, me too. I'd heard. I watched a highlight reel of him on YouTube, but I'm not the biggest. Like, I don't know all this. All the fighters that are fighting, I know a bunch, but I know like maybe 30% of boxing, whereas compared to what I know about MMA. So I had heard about this guy from an article saying that he, like, no one wants to spar him. And I was like, how come? And then I watched him fight. I'm like, oh, well, that's why. Jesus Christ. He's 285 pounds. He's six foot, 685 pounds, and takes a fucking tremendous shot. And a lot of people thought, this kid, Jared Anderson, he's only 24, and he's still very talented, but look at this fucking Jesus Christ.

Christ.

And the bro, that was round one, okay? He dropped him in round one, but then he hit him with this sneaky ass uppercut.

Shorts on with pockets.

Watch this uppercut. Look at this uppercut, dude. I mean, my God, this guy's, like, casually, like, beating the shit out of him. This guy's so. And I heard, like, people are terrified to spar with this cat. Like, they don't want to fucking spar with this dude. You bring this guy in to spar you, and he's just beating the fuck out of you. And he could take an insane shot.

He took, like, a three piece.

Like it was nothing. Like it was nothing. He just moves his head a little bit.

A little bit?

A little bit. When he's getting hit, he rolls it a little bit. But the really good boxers, the guys who spar, look at that uppercut, that sneaky left uppercut he keeps hitting him with. Look at that one he hits him with.

He wasn't exactly in and out of distance, you know what I'm saying?

Just hits right funny.

And he was a parallel legs, so he can hit with both arms.

He's much bigger, right? He's 40 pounds bigger than this dude, and he's fucking dangerous as shit. Mandy, look at that right hand, man. How beautiful is it, too? But it's, like, skillful. It's skillful, fluid punching, but from a tank, he's that panzer.

Yeah. Skillful. Yeah, exactly.

And he's dangerous, and he's a crazy knockout power. And he's a vicious body puncher, too, man. I watched some of his highlights of some of his other fights, and I went down to rabbit hole. Vicious body puncher, too. He's terrifying. Just walks towards you, just beats your ass. You can't hurt him.

Crazy. It's like. Remember Francis Nagano? And who's that? South Africana? African. Amazing. Not so. No, he's not south african.

You thinking about Garzino? Rosenstreich.

Rosenstreich, yeah. Remember that?

He just stormed.

It was literally not even a proper punch. It was Francis just walked towards him.

Like this, just winging, winking nuclear bombs, and one of them caught him. Boom. Out cold. And another one on the way down. Boom. Yeah. Well, that's the kind of power that Francis.

It's just crazy.

It's crazy.

That's why I always love combat sports so much. It's that. It's that there is. There's a lot of sports, like tennis, where a lot of money plays a big role in the. In the. In the sport. You know, it's a rich sport. A lot of. So, a lot of money, a lot of. A lot of business, a lot of politics enters into the sport. Soccer is like that. Basketball is like, lots of politics, but, like, combat sports is like a dude from. Yeah, like a sand mine.

Right.

Just somewhere in the world.

Yep.

To start koing people. And within five. I mean, Conor McGregor, a guy who's fucking a pipe, not an engineer, but he was some blue collar job.

There's also people that if they do something first and then get into fighting, like, there's a lot of guys that are like power lifters.

Yeah. And if they.

NFL players, I think a big one that's going to be that we'll see is people gymnastics, because especially guys who do the rings and things like that, think about how much more arm dexterity and strength those guys have. Imagine that guy getting your neck. You know? Imagine a guy like that who's a black belt and jiu jitsu with that kind of crazy strength to be able to hold yourself up in the air like that.

I did maybe three, four years of gymnastics before I started. Oh, absolutely. That's why. That's when I started wrestling, because wrestlers, Greco ROman wrestlers do gymnastics. They all do flips and shit. So that's when I started watching them practice and I was doing gymnastics. And I remember when I started jiu jitsu, I remember just even my get ups from positions and my text where I'm strong, the positions where I could be strong were much more different than a guy who's, like, in the gym all the time, bench pressing.

Right, right. Yeah, for sure. You have much better control of your body. One of the things you found out at 10th Planet Washington with Richie and Gio Martinez was breakdancers.

Oh, absolutely. That's gymnastics.

Totally.

That's gymnastics.

Totally. When those guys started training where everybody was like, whoa. And so Eddie started learning break dancing moves. He's like, Eddie's the best. He'll like, what do we got to do? What do we got to do? Show me how to break dance. Because, like, those guys can do all that crazy shit where they can spin around on one hand, like, so they can do like a lotus in the air. They could do handstands. Then they put their legs in the lotus position and they could stand on one hand and hop around on one.

Yeah, yeah.

Bananas. So that kind of control of your body and that kind of strength, like, directly train, those guys really got very well. They also trained really hard, but they got very good at jujitsu. Very quick.

Yeah. My party trick used to be a backflip at a nightclub.

No slippery shoes for you, bro.

Whip it out.

You can't have them slippery.

Oh, yes.

Ones that. When I see men wear those shoes, I'm like, do you hate track, dude?

With my. When I buy. When I buy jeans, when I go to stores, the. The clerks will always think I'm insane, cuz I'll. I'll practice checking for a bit.

Just check.

Okay.

You know what you need? You need a pair of origin jeans.

Oh, like stretchy ones.

The most light, stretchy, combat ready are basically jamas. They're basically pajamas. They feel like sweatpants.

Look pretty, though.

Yeah. Let me show you. Go to the origin website. All american, made everything threads, everything manufactured in America. Everything. 100% buttons, everything. All made in America. This is Jocko Willinks company.

I hope they shirts sometimes too. When I feel just a nice shirt, but it's tight, I go, what if I need to pull guard?

They look like regular pants. They look great. Yeah, if you need to pull guard in these, dude, you could fucking train in these. I could literally kick the bag in these. And I'm not bullshitting. I'm not bullshitting. You could throw head kicks in these. They're like pajamas. They look like jeans.

$129. That's $110 outside of my budget.

I'll get you a pair. Text me what your size is, I'll get you a pair. They're the shit. There's a bunch of different companies that sell stuff like that. I really like barbell jeans. They do that. Rev town are my favorite. Rev town. It's like the best cut. Those are the ones I wore in the special. Those are Rev town jeans when I did the special. They're super stretchy. They, like, you stretch out in them. But by far the most comfortable are the origin ones. The origins, they nailed it because it's the most loose. Like, you know, the other ones are, like, really free moving. But they're pants. Chuck Norris. Actually, $20.

That's my budget.

When I talked about that in my special people. Like what? Truck Norris action jeans. Like, they were real thing.

Find your legs.

They had a gusset in the crotch. Yeah, he's got the slippery shoes. Chuck didn't give a fuck about traction. Chuck wasn't worried about trees trying to pivot on you, son.

I used to work as a bouncer in a club where there was an outfit for the security, too. And dress shoes. Dress pants, red suspenders and, like, a fully, like a tuck. What's the tuxedo shirt? Like a collar shirt? Stiff. And I remember the whole time being like, I'm gonna rip these pants as soon as I even do anything.

Not only that, but someone with a collar on. If you have a collar, if you have, like, a shirt with a collar that is a weapon against you, that's on your neck. Like, why do you have that? That seems so crazy. If you're in a position where you think you might have to defend yourself, you should be wearing something that tears away from your body fairly easily around the upper body and the lower body. It better give you some movement.

Yeah.

You can't have any time. And you better have some goddamn traction on the bottom of your souls. You can't.

That was my biggest. And the floor is a nightclub for. Those are all fucking slippery.

Doodles and beer and shit spilled everywhere.

Every fight I would see would literally be the first guy throwing the bunch.

Whippy. Yep.

And they're all on the ground, and.

Then people are kicking you in the head with boots on. Yeah, fuck that.

Fuck that.

Fuck that. Yeah, fuck getting in fights, you know, that's the other thing people always say, if you. If I could fight, I'd fucking be fucking everybody. I'm like, no, you wouldn't. You'd be dead.

I punched one person in my lifetime working there. Just one person. Most of the time, I would grab them, tried to get them in a hole. They would calm down. And one time it was so kept. This was this big fucking guy. And he opened with a front kick.

Oh, no.

A well hip over fat dude, like.

40 years old, but through a legit front kick. Yeah.

And immediately I knew I'm not gonna. Yeah, I'm not gonna just grab him.

That's a crazy thing to open with.

Yeah, I grab. I get ahold of that and I throw an overhand, immediately break my thumb. To this day, immediately overhand straight to his temple. And I feel all my hand, it shatter. It's done.

The guy get hurt? Or did you know?

Not a tent. Not a tent. You know. You know how he left the nightclub.

How?

He dragged his wife with. By her hair.

Jesus.

Like a. And left the club into the night.

Maybe that's what she likes.

She likes probably go to bark a.

Bunch of people up and then drag her away, like, let's go, baby. And she just rides them.

And then we choke some.

Yeah.

And then we went to court from that incident.

Oh, my God. When you get sued or did you sue them?

I think it was the. The nightclub. Suing him. Not suing, but somewhat of a settlement. Or, I mean, it's still. People got hurt, so it's still some sort of an investigation.

Right.

But I had to testify in court, and he had to do, like, a formal apology. They do that here, too, right, where you have to, like, stand up in court formal. And yet, to me and the other bartenders working there, I was the only security working that night. Of course, that's classic nightclub. 200 people, only guy, 19 year old kid. Cool. Yeah, great. With a bartender who's gay. So we had to be, and he had to apologize. He goes. He goes, gentlemen, I'm sorry. And you know how he showed up to court? He was just all swollen up. Not from that fight. This. This was months later. So he's just living that lifestyle.

This is out there wrong.

Yeah, he was just showed up in court and was like, I'm sorry, gentlemen. And just goes into the.

Maybe the cops beat his ass.

Maybe. But he just came to court. I remember all of us being like, jesus Christ, this Mongol.

Some dudes like to fight. That's a very unfortunate thing that you enjoy.

See, that was another thing that when, when I went to all these self defense class, I used to go to one Wing chun, you know, and there would be a master who said, you know, sparring is not real life combat. In real life combat, I hurt you, I kill you, you know, and I'm like, hmm, interesting. But I would already go to jiu jitsu. Other happy in my head, like, you know, this instructor shows up, he's got a belly button that has hairdouse in it, and it's a little floppy. And I'm like, I reckon if I low kick you right, you're gonna feel something. And that was a big problem, you know, with self defense courses. And me and Preet, the jiu jitsu guy, we actually used to go to a couple of youth camps where there was troublesome youth, you know, who get into fights, and we would do demonstrations. Where, do you know? In the nineties in eastern Europe, there was a rise in people getting stabbed because people would think that you take this course on, you know, you take a course every Sunday where they teach you, somebody attacks you with an.

I remember my friend telling me, like, if you attack me with a knife, you're more dangerous to yourself than you are to me because he believed in the system. And then all these retards would be in fucking Latvia or something. And you're with your girl and some crackhead comes up at you and you scarved up. Here you go, baby. And you see your fucking blood on your hands and this in that.

Yeah.

And that's always what I learned from immediately. I was like, from those street. From working as a bouncer, is that, yeah, I'm comfortable in a sparring environment. Mouth guard on. And we're friends. Even though you're trying to take my head off, I'm in a comfortable environment where I know if I go out, it's over. You know, if I could hurt. If you hurt me with a middle.

Kick, you're not gonna get.

But there's men out there who go to bars, they get gacked up, and they just brawl. Those are men who are comfortable in the chaos of a bar, you know.

Also probably not making good decisions at any stage of their life.

See, that's what I'm saying is that even though I might be a jiu jitsu guy, this guy's gonna bite my ear. He's gonna, you know, you don't want.

To fight people, period.

So that's when I really put together all those self defense. And me and Prit would go to youth camps, and we would. He would like. He would, like, crankle up a plastic bottle, and he would be like, okay, ari, do all the cool moves that we've. That they all teach, you know, like, hi. Behind the back, grab the knife. You know, and then he would just, you know, I would, like, grab his wrist, and then he would just pull the knife away. And he's like, at that point, you have a deep cut in your arm.

You'd be fucked.

And he would look at those kids and go, so you guys think that if you see your white flesh, like a rose open up in your palm, you think you're gonna look at that and go, okay, fucking get the pose. No, that's a instant panic attack. Survival instinct. You know, recently, I don't want to see if it's really bad.

Is that a knife fight?

I'm a very.

No, no.

It's almost describing exactly. We're saying, like, these guys, this guy gets his leg cut really bad.

Okay, did see that? Don't show it to me. Don't show me. It's horrible. It's horrible. It's horrible. I've seen up this kid, and the kid pulls a knife out and slices his thigh open almost to the bone, like, where it opens up like a flap. Dude, I got a peace so bad. Oh, right back.

We'll be right back.

And we're back. I feel so good. There's a feeling that when you have to pee, that, like, you're. You have, like, 30% of your. Your mind is available, 70% is like, don't piss your pants. Don't. And you're talking about wrist locks. I'm like, right, gotta get.

To pee, too. By the noon, I was just like, I'm gonna piss my pants.

We did it. We held it together. We held it together. Hey, thank you for being there. Saturday night was a lot of fun. And Friday night, too, by the way.

I have to say, dude, watching you do that live special is amazing to just watch you. Dude, me and Ron White were in the green room when you were on stage, and we were like, thank God. We're just chilling. You know, in comedy, it is scary.

It's scary. Yeah.

But then again, and here's another point that I have to say that, do you know how crazy it is that you have, okay, one of the biggest podcasts in the world, but you're an actual practitioner of an art form that only, only ten years ago was not even stand up comedy, wasn't even the main form of comedy. There was sketch comedy, improv movies. Movies, movies. Stand up. Stand up, Washington subsidiary art form of comedy, like a small genre, and that you, with now your platform and your voice, are a practitioner. You could. This is how lucky we as comedians are to have a guy who's an actual practicing comedian. You could also be, like, a famous guy and just live in the shadows. Show up at a club every two months, be a superstar, do a. Because you're talented and funny enough. Do a good set. You know, people go home, that was great. That was Joe Rogan. Because he's so. Because people come out to see you, they'll. They'll have a good experience. But you're a guy. You're writing bits. You're like, coming to the club, your own club, of course you're coming to the club.

And you're writing. You're working on it, you're fixing it. And how lucky we are to have a guy who's an actual. You could be, like, a piece of shit asshole. You could absolutely.

It wouldn't work. We would never been able to do what we're doing, and what we're doing is really good for me, too. It's one of the reasons why, like, I think we're all benefiting greatly from that place. We're all benefiting from the vibe of it.

Nobody's benefited more than me.

More than you. Yeah, we're both benefiting, dude. It's all good, dude. It's all for everybody. It's all. We're all getting something out of it, and it's. We're all getting something in it together, too. That's the cool part about it. We're all like, you know, a son always says that. That's one of the things that door guy say when one of them gets a gig. They say, we up, dude.

They're so supportive because I also did. I auditioned for Adam. I auditioned for Adam. I got into the club the. The, like, proper way I did. I wasn't some fucking guy.

Nobody knew who you were.

Yeah. And whenever I get some opportunity like this right now, they're all, like, so cheering for me.

You know, it's very supportive because they also know that. That this. All the stuff that's happening to you can happen to them. All the stuff that's happening right now to William Montgomery could happen to you.

Amazing.

All the stuff that's happening to David Lucas and Cam Patterson and all these guys, these Hans Kim. Hans Kim. Selling out weekends everywhere. He's killing it, and he's doing great. Is act is tight. He's got some funny shit, man. He's got some funny shit. He works at it. That kid has spreadsheets and shit. He's going over his material on fucking.

Google Docs also, dude, every fucking week, there's another guy in that club that I'm like, yes, this. And then, dude, Tyler Fisher.

Yep. Oh, my God. He's hilarious, bro. That bit he does about being a cop for the pedos, bro. How funny is that? How funny is that bit?

I showed it to the door, guys. I filmed myself behind the curtain at fat man, having to follow Tyler. I feel my own face and the applauses that he's getting and me being like this. And I always riff with Tyler. I go, hey, Tyler, how about we say, how about we keep five characters today? He has a focus. He has characters. He goes to the crowd. He jumps every use of the stage liners, jokes, anecdotes, callbacks. Everything is tight.

Yeah, it's tight. And he's got so much energy, enthusiasm, and that guy was having a hard time. He was telling on the podcast that, like, he got dropped by his agent because they couldn't handle any more white straight men. Like, are you in the talent business? You don't see how talented that fucking guy is? But, you know, it's like this weird thing that we're all a part of.

Well, I was, dude, just, I mean, think of my storyline. 8 December, I'm in London, the UK. I went to London a couple of years ago, had a great time because I was doing the open mic circuit, but this time I went back as a headliner wanting to maybe move up in the industry. Two months, nothing's happened. And struggling just because I went to New York, same thing. It was just because I didn't really have a connection. Nobody really knew me. And I'm also not a guy who's great at net, like the showing up at the park. I don't do coke. I don't. I hang, but I only talk bits, so. And I would go to, like, let's say a New York, like a comedy seller, and there's like, like 20 guys with backpacks and tripods all waiting to talk to the manager, you know? And when I see that, I always feel like I don't want to be another asshole, you know? Hello, it's, I'm the guy, you know? So I just felt like on every audition I had, when you auditioned in London, that's also good. Shout out to Adam Egart. Do you know how crazy that is that he watches Sunday, Monday, he watches everybody.

You can be on the street, a guy, and you get to be in front of the, probably the most important talent scout and he watches them and he gives you, and if you do a good job, he'll give you a.

Spot that he's really good at it. He's really good at. He really understands comedy.

He understands comedy. He gets it. He, he sees voices he wants. He were, he gives everybody a shot he loves.

He was on a show with Norm MacDonald. Like, they were co hosts.

Insane, his best friend.

Yeah, yeah, he, Adam's awesome. And he was one of the first resources, he was the first guy that I got when I was deciding to do this. He was number one.

So I remember when sam, like, but, and then, yeah, so 8 December, I fly over to Austin on 9 December, I have, nothing's going on. Sam talent is in town just by accident in Austin. And he came to Estonia to visit me. We only talked online before that. And he goes, yeah, sure, I'll get you Austin spot. But I didn't want to bother him. So I'm still signing up outside, and then sam goes, where are you? Adam's looking for you. And I go, oh, shit. I go to the security. You know, the Avengers are out there. I gotta be like, hey, guys. I go like, hey, guys. And they're all here. My accent, they're like, what the fuck? Yeah, you gotta get somebody. Sam comes out. I do my set, and even before my set, I see Adam Egat, and I'm like, oh, that's. That's that Adam egg. Because I read about him in. No, Brody. Stephen Brody Stevens in his special always says adam Egypt, like, seven times. So I remember that name.

Adam Egart.

Adam Eagle, trying to hold me down. This is my shot. And he would. And he's back there, and I'm like, oh, should he? Actually, dude, I'm twelve years into this, and to see a talent manager or scout or whatever, to actually watch your set is actually rare.

Well, the story with me and Adam is. Adam was. He used to work at the Tempe improv, and that's why I met him. And he was always great guy. And then he came over to LA and started working at the comedy store when I had left. So I had left after the Carlos Mancia thing, I was gone for seven years. So I was doing the improv. I was doing the ice house. I was doing other clubs. And so then he came and met me. I think it was, like, 2014 or. Yeah, 2014. So seven years after 2007 now. And I was like, come on. Comes. I'm doing. I'm the town coordinator now. They got rid of the other guy, and I was like, I don't know, man. I don't know if I want to go back. It's just like, I just felt so fucked over. The whole thing was so gross. It was like, fuck that place. But then re was doing a special there, so I fear, yeah, I knew I had to be there, so I had to go back. So I went back Monday night before re or whatever night roast battle was at, and I sat in the audience at roast battle.

It was insane. It was insane. Jeff Ross said, this is, like, my first time at the club in seven years. And, like, it was. That was a cool feeling. Like, to be, like, I felt comfortable there again. And then I watched Ari. I have to be there for Ari. I mean, this is not just Ari's first big special on Comedy Central, but it's also Ari, my friend, who I knew, who was a doorman, okay. When I was on, I guess I was on either news radio or fear factor. I don't know what tv show I was on at the time I met Ari. It might have been fear factor, but, like, all sudden, I'm hanging out with this kid, this young kid just starting out. And then we become friends, and he goes on the road with me, and we work together, we do podcasts together. And then all of a sudden, all these years later, he's got his own fucking comedy Central special, and he's got his own Comedy central tv show, which is one of the reasons why they gave him a special and he's filming it in the fucking. Or I'm like, I have to be there.

I had to be there. And so then I came back and said, I was there all the time. Then I just started going, like, every day. I was there all the time.

Well, yeah, we heard about it on the podcast all the time.

I just went back full on. And then Adam and I started talking. And one of the things we started talking, I was like, what do you want? Do you want to do? He felt, you know, like, a little bit underpaid, and there's a lot. I go, what do you want to do? Like, what would you like, what would be the ideal way to open up a club? We would start talking about what to do. We start talking about what do you. What is. What is really important. What's really important is, like, a talent coordinator is a lot of times it's just the manager picking headliners to come.

In for the weekend or some insane girlfriend of the owner.

Yeah. So this is the difference. The difference is, I think in. I think there's probably different kinds of classifications for what kind of clubs they are. Our club is a development club.

Absolutely.

It's not just a club for great headliners, like, when Colin Quinn is here or dice is here. It's a club for developing. So we said, okay, how many nights a week should we have open mic night? And we said, two. Let's do Sunday and Monday. So two nights, full open mic night. And then it was Adam's idea to have door people audition with their act. And I was like, you know what? Door guys fucked off so much at the comedy store. They were so bad at doing certain things. They were scamming money and getting people to bribe them, which we've had. We've had that too. But that's normal, right? You know, you got a comedians, dude. Yeah.

Wow.

Wow. People. But the door people at the mothership are so much better than any of the door people at the comedy store. And I. I think part of it is because there is this ethic there that we're all the same thing. We're all together. We're all the same. We all hang out together at Mitzi's bar. We're all the exact same thing. Just some of us have been doing it 30 years. Some of us have been doing it twelve years. Some of us doing it five years. Some of us moved here because they did a few open mic nights. It's the only thing they ever loved in their life. It's the only thing they ever wanted to do in their life. They're like, God damn it, I want to be in Austin. And then they moved there and they got a job. There is what gets them the job. And if you. You could string together a few minutes and you could show that you could get those sparks going and make a little campfire. Okay, let's see how much better you get at making campfires. Let's see. Let's see what you can do. And that, that's the difference between that club and everywhere else.

And it all goes all the way up to the very top, whether it's Shane or Tony or anybody who's working on their act and working on new stuff. You see them, you see Brian, Tim constantly. Ron White, sharper than he's ever been. Assassin. He's a thousand years old, dude. Ron White was born before there was feet. People did. People still had fins. He's an animal. He's better than he's ever been before.

Yeah, we were driving to your special in San Antonio. He picked me up from my house and I'm like, I'm in the car with Ron White and he's just talking about DMT, doing 90 miles an hour all the way sideways. He's like, ari, there's another world out there. I'm like, we're doing 90 in this one, though.

Ron's in the simulation for sure.

He. But also, like I was saying about you, he also. You might think that this guy will come to the club and be a superstar. No, he comes in and works on his act. Talks about bits.

Yeah. And he hang out and having a.

Panic attack just like I am.

And he loves when a bit bombs. He comes back, well, that fucking didn't work at all. At all. Explain to us by this pit bull.

He comes to agree with us. He goes, that fucking suck.

Yeah, they weren't my favorite, but he was. He's two things. One, he's the reason why I moved here, because he was the first guy. He was here before the pandemic.

But he's from Texas.

Yes. So he moved here like, I was like, where he been? Because I knew he still had his house in Beverly Hills. I'm gonna get rid of my house in Beverly Hills. I'm gonna live down here in Texas. And so he, he said it was center of the country. You could travel anywhere. And I was like, damn, maybe, but I'm like, I can't live there because I was always wanting to get the fuck out of LA, but I can't leave the store. But once they shut the store down, I was like, oh, all right, well, what the fuck am I here for? The crime? I'm not here for the store.

And you're not doing movies.

Yeah, I don't want my youngest kids to grow up in this place. It seems like it's getting worse. I also felt like there's better places to be. And so when we all came out here together, it's like we all especially, like, when, when we first started talking about the developing of the club, it was, the whole idea was like, let's do it our way. Let's do it the right way as opposed to doing it as a business. Let's do it as like, what are you trying to do? You're just trying to make the best club possible. Okay, well, then do that. And then the business stuff, put that aside. You got to stop. Don't think about maximizing profits because there's only one shareholder. So let's just do it the right way. And the right way is the comedians get most the money. The right way is you bring the best people in. The right way is you develop talent. The right way is you have a show like kill Tony that sets his tone for the entire comedy universe. It sets the tone. And then guys like, you can get on that stage, crack some fucking great bits.

Yeah.

Bam.

It's crazy.

You're off to the races.

And I kind of feel like, because I'm a big book guy, I've read everything about the comedy story, everything about the history of the industry, late night wars, David Letterman, moving Johnny Carson, moving from New York to the Burbank, okay, I know everything. And I kind of feel like I'm living the gold rush that was in the eighties and nineties in comedy store. I kind of feel like I'm living that right now.

This one's crazy. Well, yeah, this one's crazier because this one people are doing arenas mean. We're doing kill Tony this weekend in Madison Square Garden. There's two nights. Two nights in New York City. Sold out Madison Square Garden. It's. This is Tony's and Red Band's coming out party. This is like. This is the big deal.

This is the big deal.

They sold this out quick, quick, you know, and it's a beautiful thing to see. It's a beautiful thing to see. Everybody flourishing, and this idea that we had actually work, it's actually coming to fruition, you know?

Amazing.

Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah. And to have you guys. To have you, Tony and Ron there when I was filming that thing also, so the green room was just like, regular green room.

Regular ass green room.

Right? So we're used to hanging out and having fun, laughing, being fun, and just, like, being silly together. So we're all being silly. So I was just super loose.

But then also, there was that moment where me and you were in your green room, and both of us were in our notebooks for about 20 minutes just in silence after thinking like, holy shit. See, this is what it's all about.

Yeah.

We're just writing bits and just.

You gotta work at it, man. And sometimes we don't, you know? Sometimes we don't. And one of the things that really made me think a lot about this, the live thing, was like, first of all, I said no. When my manager called me, said, do you wanna do a live special? I said, fuck that, I don't do that. And then I was always got off the phone with her. I was driving, and I was like, why did I say no? Like, why is such a pussy?

Oh, cuz you're scared.

You're scared of doing it live? And I was like, oh, why are you scared of doing it live? Like, what is it about? Like, you do everything live. You could do UFC, live. Podcasts are essentially, they're, you know, they're recorded, but you just. You're just freewheeling, right? So why can't you do that live? Like, just prepare better? Just prepare more. So I was preparing way more.

Oh, yeah. Watching you develop that hour was insane. You were working, dude. Also, I've never seen you off. I've seen you in the green room, maybe in a different mood than the other night. Dude, when you go on stage, it's rock City every fucking night. It's crazy to watch.

Well, I've just been preparing this set for quite a while. You know, I thought I was going to do a special in August of 2020. That was the plan, because I had done a 2018, so I did. 2016 was triggered, and then my next Netflix special, was 2018. That was strange times. And I was going to do one in 2020 and call it sacred. And. And it was based on the Lakota. Hyoka was the person in the tribe that made fun of everything, because if you couldn't make fun of anything, it was bullshit. They had, like, a spiritual person in their tribe. Their goal was to make fun of everything, was a sacred clown. And so I was like, that's perfect, because that's what it is. You're just talking shit and making fun of things, and you should be able to do that about everything. And everything you can't make fun of is most likely bullshit.

Well, that's your comedy club, dude. I love that you called your comedy rooms after the two nuclear bombs, but that already shows there's no rules.

There's no rules.

It's over.

And I was worried about that at first. I was like, God, this is perfect.

That's letting you know there are no rules.

Do you know one of the reasons why I decided to definitely call it that?

Why?

Because I told it to Louis CK. Anyway, I go, that's it. It has to be that. And also, it's part of UFO folklore. One of the main reasons why I wanted to have them, because I knew I had two rooms, and I knew there was two bombs, and it was after those two nuclear bombs were dropped that they started. Kenneth Arnold had his sightings. Roswell, New Mexico, had that big sighting. Like all the big events of UFO folklore happened after the bomb. And the idea is that these interdimensional beings, these. They go, okay, these fucking crazy territorial apes have now developed nuclear bombs. This could be very dangerous, because if these idiots arm themselves, as we have right now, to the point where they can blow up the whole world, like, many, many times over, they might do it. Let's. Let's, like. Let's make sure everything's cool. And so that's when all the UFO started. So, before the comedy mothership with this UFO based thing, we kind of had to have those as the name because that's what. That's what sends out the signal. Yeah. Those bombs, fat man and little boy, those bombs are this.

That's what. If you believe, and I love to believe. I don't 100% believe, but I kind of love to believe. I love to at least talk about it. If you believe that we were visited multiple times by alien life, and a lot of it happened after 1947, makes sense.

Well, if the universe is infinite and there's us, there's a higher species out there, you would look at Earth. And you'd be interested?

100%. And then who knows what happened? Roswell was so the bombs were 45, Roswell was 47. Who knows what really happened at Roswell? But they do know that whatever they did, they took that wreckage and they flew it in two separate jets to write Patterson Air Force Base, because they didn't. If one of the jets went down, they wanted to make sure they still had the wreckage. They put it in two different jets. That's how important this shit was. Whatever the fuck it was.

Bubble czar who had that crazy story, I just remember one story where he told that there were, like, multiple doors open, and for an. Like, it was an act because they were separated or something where he was working. And by accident, he, like, saw the spaceship, like, through the doors. And I remember being like, holy shit.

Well, he saw. When he went in to see it for the first time, it had an american flag sticker on it. And his first inclination was, oh, this is why people keep seeing these things. These are ours. But then the way it's described now, who knows if it's true?

Yeah, who knows?

Okay. But I love to believe it is. And the way he describes it is like they essentially brought him in, said, tell me what this is. Figure this out. How does this work? What is it? And they really never did. They kind of got a working understanding of it, but it based on some element that was only theoretical at the time now been proven by one of the particle colliders.

They created this particle hydro particle collider.

Right. Yeah.

The one in Switzerland.

Yeah, that's where it is. Right.

That's the way they. Black holes.

Yeah. That's gonna make a black hole that you remember.

I did, like, mushrooms for the first time, and I started reading about it. I'm like, great. They're fucking.

Those super nerds are gonna kill us all. But they did discover that this element that Bob Lazar theorized exists. But then what I've heard is, like, they already knew that that was going to be an element. So him saying that there's a lot of things like the Higgs boson, there's a lot of things they knew existed, but they needed to get proof of it through the particle colliders. And so a lot of people aren't that impressed with that, but he said they had a stable isotope, they had a stable version of this element, and this is what powered this generator. And this stable version of this element would sit inside of this container, and it would be bombarded with radiation, and it would somehow or another manipulate gravity. It's the wildest story ever. The most fun story ever. But he essentially said they were trying for years to try to figure out how to reproduce, and they couldn't figure out how it worked. They did a bunch of different things. One guy died, apparently trying to cut into it.

Holy shit.

Yeah. That was the guy before him, apparently. Yeah. And then there was the wackiest thing of all. We talked about this yesterday, that they said that his. They had a big thing on religion. And one of the things that they said that they look at us as containers. Yeah. And it's like that religion was here so that we don't damage what's inside the container. The religion was put here to give people rules and regulations so they could fall, so they don't destroy their souls. So, like, they're just harvesting our souls. Yeah, and making sure our souls don't.

Go because we will be just sucking and fucking and sucking right now.

Imagine that. If that's what happens, that's how they trick you into downloading your brain into a computer. That's it. That's the end result. They're just trying to get that soul. And then you are just trapped. And that's what hell really is. Just stuck on a hard drive with nothing there. Imagine living your whole life. Life being paralyzed, but you don't need food or water, but you're lying on the floor of an empty. An empty office building. That's. That's you inside a computer for in the void. And they don't download anybody else onto your hard drive either, because if they have other people on that hard drive, it'll ruin the hard drive again.

Yeah, your code.

My code mixing together. Come on here. Yeah. We're in a weird time, my brother. We're in a weird time because the reason why comedy, as you were saying earlier, is like, this kind of comedy is like, the most prevalent comedy because the only one you could actually be free and do. You can't make Tropic thunder anymore. You can't make. You know, there's.

There'll be a movie. It's a pendulum. You know, culture is always a pendulum. There'll be some dude. There'll be the nude Andrew dice Clay. There'll be the new tropic thunder. They'll be the new super bad.

I hope so.

Yeah, 100%. Because as soon as. As soon as something is, like, 51% of popular opinion, the 49% becomes cool. The rebellion comes cool.

Yeah, but it won't even be popular opinion. The popular opinion is almost 100%. That they would want tropics.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's true.

You know, real popular opinion amongst people who go to see those films. Let me say it that way, because popular opinion amongst people who don't go see super bad, what difference does it make? But the people that do go see those movies and do enjoy those movies would go to see one right now. Most of them.

But there's always. But, but, yeah, and that's why I always be. There's so much fun in rebellion and breaking the rules. And the more I always thought, I think the stronger a line is, the more power you have of crossing it, you know?

Right, right. I just don't think the line is real. I think the line is a small, very vocal minority of people, and the majority of people know what jokes are. Yeah, but you can't finance these things anymore.

But then again, if it's. If it's all no rules and no, like, if you don't get a reaction, then it doesn't have any power. You know, it's like, like when Tony, we were just talking in the green room when Tony Hinchcliffe said faggot on Netflix at the Tom Brady Rose, right? That's like, if you're a culture nerd, that's like a cultural moment, right?

Because confederate fag.

Yeah, yeah. Because he's saying something that unanimously, five years ago was the line.

Yeah, but now the lines moved.

It doesn't even move. But people dance around the line and it gives it power. Because if you create a line, you're gonna create people who are gonna dance around it. Give them.

Yeah, but no, they don't. We didn't agree to the line. That's what. But the thing is, like, that line only existed in corporate controlled media and existed in, like, virtue signaling Internet.

That's the power of the release.

Right. You know, that line didn't exist amongst friends.

Oh. That's why off the record talk.

Yeah, real shit talk. That line never existed. Retard was on the table.

Oh, we has never left the table.

Never left the table. Especially in quiet company when you're alone.

Yeah.

What's going on with your brother, dude?

Retard.

Retarded. I can't. I can't talk to him. He doesn't listen. That's normal talk. Normal talk. We know what that means. And the idea that we're supposed to back off these words because a select minority of very vocal people who are, like, super sensitive and probably medicated, like, no, no, don't listen. Like, no, don't watch that movie. No, don't go to see that. Stand up. You don't have to like everything. There's a lot I don't like that other people love. And guess what? I'm fine with that. I like it. I like the fact there's a variety of different human beings. It's a fun part of being a human. Yeah, it's fun.

Yeah.

And, you know, that's the. The beauty of true diversity, you know? Like, one of the things that's great about the club is the lineup is actually very diverse, but not because we wanted it to be diverse. We wanted people who are really good killers, and they come in all fucking sizes and shapes.

They call your cameraman.

Yeah. Fat gay guys, small fucking porn addicts. They're all over the place.

They're all over the place.

They're all over the place. Everybody's different. And that's good. That's good for everybody. And it's like we speak this language. We're here for this art form. Everything else is fine. Like, you just be a nice person. Be nice to us. We're nice to you. Get nice to each other. We're all going to grow from this experience. We're all going to be better people because of this. We're all going to be better members of a community. We're creating a community.

Also. There are nights at the little boy because of the yonder banks and stuff. I'll say some stuff.

Yeah. You get a little wild.

That I know is not leaving this room.

Right.

And the release you see in the.

People where they're laughing so hard.

It's like a 40 year old guy with his wife, and he's like, I can't believe this european fuck is saying this. This is not okay. But that's so fun.

There's a lot of people that are laughing really hard.

But no, no, he's. No, no. That's why. But he's also laughing because it's not okay.

But it is okay.

It is okay here, but it should be okay everywhere.

It's okay in private company, right?

Absolutely. At the record, off the record talk. Yeah, but should be okay.

And this art form requires that you do that. It does. It doesn't require you have to do it. There's guys like, you know, Brian Regan, who are brilliant. Jim Gaffigan. Brilliant, brilliant. Gaffigan's brilliant. You never have to worry about him offend. Unless you read his twitter. You never have to worry about him offending you. Right. His. His stuff is perfect example. Nate's genius. Genius. Brilliant.

You can talk about table squeaky clean.

Yeah. Though those guys have always existed. And those guys are us, too. It's fine. It's like that. No one dislikes Sebastian. You know, everyone loves Sebastian. He was just at the club last night.

Yeah, I brought him up.

He's the best.

The best.

The nicest guy, too.

I love talks about his mole infestation station and how he cook.

This is. I cook a stuff. He's awesome. I actually just got a message for one of my friends. They said they saw him at the club last night. He was brilliant. But, like, the point is, like, everybody's different. That's great. That's great. Boy, girl, gay, straight, everybody. There's a bunch. All you have to do is be good. That's it. And you don't get any brownie points for your group if you're not good, okay? If you want to, come on. Just because you're a this or that, guess what? There's no room for that. You have to be good.

All the festivals, comedy festival was a big festival. Circumflex, because that was where you could get up back in the day. Australia, Edinburgh, JFL, they're all falling apart because they didn't listen to the ripples of laughter.

Well, they're doing a different thing. Here's the problem. The people that are doing the festival themselves are not usually, like, working stand up comedians. So they're people that exist in the ecosystem that aren't creating the thing. Right. So they know what they like. They might know what they. And they might also apply their own personal politics to their decisions about what kind of comedy they want to see.

It's also, is it their personal politics, or is it the politics that they think people are going to gravitate to? You know, I think it's both, because.

I think primarily in show business, people are indoctrinated into the cult of left. It's almost. Well, almost universal in show business, except for a lot of musicians that kind of keep it undercover. But a lot of actors have to keep it undercover, too. Like, conservative actors just keep their mouth shut. Like Chris Pratt type dudes. They get in trouble every time they talk about Jesus.

John Cena talking.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that was different. That was a little bit of an apology. I didn't do that bit my act. But the whole thing about it is that. That you've got to let people express themselves however they are. However, what are you. Tyler Fisher is very different than David Lucas. David Lucas is very different than Ron White. Everyone has to be able to express themselves in whatever form they find themselves in going through this life in the best possible way they can. That's what we're setting up to do.

But that's like, that jazz thing that I was talking about is the resonation of the feelings of the story that you're expressing that people gravitate to. And when you start putting a bullshit agenda out there. Exactly.

I see it 100%.

I see it.

And that the. The anti bullshit is that green room, because the green room is so fun that you go on stage from there with those good vibes. Like, I oftentimes I'm, like, sad that I have to shut my phone off, you know, I'm like, so I gotta go, guys. And I'm like, I'm sad that I have to leave our fun club on stage. I know I'm on stage. I'm not really. I want to continue the conversation. I know I'm going to have a great time on stage. I'm looking forward to it, but I want to continue the conversation, you know? And then having you guys in the green room with me when I filmed the special was huge, man. It was huge because it really was like, I always feel this, like, I went camping with Brian Callen once. We went to. We went on a deer hunt, and I was like, this is gonna be crazy. We're gonna go to Montana. It's gonna be freezing. It's gonna be five degrees outside. Gonna be sleeping on the frozen ground. We're gonna go hunt some mule deer in the mountains. You want to do it? He's like, fuck, yeah.

So we did it. But I was like, if you and I are together, it'll be fun no matter where we are. Like, Brian and I could be hanging out in some shitty motel in the middle of saskatchewan, just laughing our asses off. Just, ah, because we're friends, and we've been friends forever, and so we can have fun together. So no matter how chaotic the situation is, when you have friends with you, it changes what the situation is. So even though that was a live show in front of who knows how many fucking people watching live on Netflix, I I was hanging out with you guys. Yeah, it was normal, normal show. So I just kept myself in normal show mind and just went on stage was very show mind.

Cool to learn, like, watch you from the side and be like, yeah, you're just doing another set. And also, you're. You were so well prepared that you were, like, the perfect guy to do that live special.

You know, you got to prepare in a different way. It's like. Like, there's a thing about archery, okay? Like, if you say if you're proficient at 50 yards, you can hit a bullseye on a regular basis at 50 yards, you really should be hunting at about 25 yards, because at 25 yards, you're shaking. You got adrenaline. There's anxiety. Maybe this is a new thing. There's a wild hog moving, moving 50 yards away from you, and you're drawing on like, oh, my God, is this really happening? Like, you probably shouldn't be shooting at 50 yards. If you want to shoot at 50 yards, you should be really proficient at 100 yards, and you should have a bunch of shots already under your belt so that you are accustomed to this experience. So with comedy, I was like, okay, I know I've done a bunch of live shows, but I can't just go up on stage. Like, this is a regular live show. Like, I've done a bunch of shows in front of a live audience. Audience. This is going to be a way different pressure. And if I don't agree to that in my mind and if I don't address that in my mind and over prepare, you let that tiny window of doubt open, and that the little demon of doubt will sneak in and steal your confidence and fuck with your head and give you anxiety and make you start thinking about, what if you bomb?

What if you forget the jokes? What if you forget what place you're at? What if you forget the line? What if you forget the punchline? What about that new punchline? You gonna do it? You gonna forget it? You could mind fuck yourself, or you could just super over prepare. So I super over prepared. I listened to recordings. I watched videos. I wrote for, like, I prepared for, like, 5 hours the day of the show. I never left my computer.

That's how I always feel about writing, and writing during the day about comedies. People always go like, oh, you just write an act. And I go, to be honest, 99% of the shit I write during the day doesn't end up actually working on stage. Most bits still click on stage, but I can't. I have to give an energy out to the universe that, listen, I'm preparing for this just so I know that I'm ready, you know, when I go on stage. And even though you can't exactly say that I'm writing the perfect set and it's gonna go as I wrote it, but the energy that I put out in the universe is that I'm preparing.

Yeah, it's also. It's not. That's not the process. The process isn't. You write it exactly as you're going to say it because you really need to say it in front of an audience to know how to say it.

Exactly.

And you need to say, hear it for yourself, too. And you need to actually, the whole thing is it's a framework for you being in the moment talking about that thing. Right. And if you can, like, if you can set that framework up well on piece of paper on a computer screen, that's great. But then you review it, and then you keep tweaking it and you keep fucking with it.

But also, if I don't write, I just feel like I'm. Why am I not working hard at this? And that gives me anxiety of being like, because I remember the first lesson in martial arts that I had. The first lesson in my life. We have compulsory military service in Estonia, which I didn't do. I regret it. The only reason I didn't do it is I did sports, and guys who went to do the military service, they ate shit food, got back, injuries came back, and they lost a year in their athletic life and a year, as you know, in an athletic version, that's. That's huge.

Yeah.

So I didn't do that. I regretted that. But the first lesson I got through martial arts was that why I wasn't successful in mixed martial arts wasn't because I'm physically not. I wasn't talented. But the reason I wasn't successful, Washington, because I always thought about, I wanted the accolades. I wanted to be the cool guy who gets the head kick, kisses the girl.

Right.

And it's cool, dude.

You didn't want to deliver?

I didn't want. During practice, dude, during, like, jujitsu classes, when my, when Preet is talking about our armbar defense, I'd be daydreaming about what song am I gonna come out to, you know?

Hilarious. You're a showman.

I would go, it's just boring, dude. I want to go spar. So I would go to Thai boxing clubs and spar and have fun with my friends. I would build a fake ring in our gym, and we would do all the cool stuff that we wanted to do. And then I remember maybe a year later, there was this. There was a, there was a nerdy guy who started same year as me, nerdy class, not physically, not gifted at all. A year later, I sparred with him, and he. This fucking nerd is fucking me up with a jab. But that's because he gave. He had math time.

Right.

We always call. Interesting. This this expression called Matt time.

Sure.

Oh, you can be amazing and talented and a fucking beast. But if I do 400 hours and you do 22, no matter, at the end of the day, I'm gonna get you because I have Madden time. And that's especially.

But it's, it's also, how much energy are you putting towards a thing?

Exactly.

That's really what it is.

And it wasn't that, and that's what I learned about the whole thing. I was like, yeah, he was putting energy into the universe and committing to something.

Yeah.

And putting that out there. And even though it's also, you're looking.

For a result and he's involved in the process, you have to trust the process. That's the process of writing.

Exactly.

And this is one things that I tell comics all the time. They always say, I write on stage. I'm like, bro, I do too, I do too. We all do. Especially when you do bottom of the barrel. You always write on stage. You're fucking around. I fuck around all the time. It's fun to fuck.

Most of my bits come like this.

Sometimes they do. But also you can write. Yeah, this doesn't hurt you to write?

Doesn't hurt you?

No. And me preparing for this live special made me really concentrate on, like, tightening up segways. I didn't want anything to be clunky. I wanted to, like, really make sure that I had it fucking polished down.

Jerry Seinfeld had a great quote where he goes like that. A comedian told him, yeah, right on stage. He said, I'll see you in 20 years.

Look, you can write on stage. There was a great article that was out. It was about Jerry Seinfeld and Chris Rock. I think it was in Fortune magazine. See if you could find it. But it was essentially, they were saying, chris Rock said this best. The guy was going, you know, what do you do during the day? He goes, I don't do nothing, but I do open mics every night. And he said, during the day is where you make your money. At night is when you collect it. Wow, look at that. You collect your money at night, but you make it during the day.

So true.

Because the performance is just a byproduct. It's a great article, and it's the perfect mindset, especially coming from a guy like Chris, who's, you know, put out bigger and blacker. And was the other one that was like, is two, is two great ones.

When he first, and then was the other one. Bring the pain, bring the pain.

Those two are some of the greatest comedy specials in the history of the world.

History.

And that guy, man, like, listen to him, whatever the fuck. Yes. He used to come to the comedy store and he had a very unique strategy. He would come to the comedy store with premises and like, ideas that he had, but he did not have them working worked out. And he would just eat shit. Like try to eat, like, try, like, let it be, like, let there be like some blank spots, let there be some dead air and force himself to come up with the funny and find the funny. And then you'd see it revised the next night and he'd see revised. That was what they said about Pryor. They said Pryor would show up at Tuesday with a bunch of ideas for bits and they would bomb, and then on Wednesday they might bomb a little less. And then on Thursday they would start kicking. And then Friday came along and he was in the maid room murdering with some shit that he came up with on Tuesday.

But that's because those guys aren't scared to stare down the bull, right?

Right.

Because a lot of guys get their 1st 20 and they're so scared of letting it go because it was so hard.

So hard.

And it's hard. People always say, oh, it's hard to be an open Micah. No, bro, it's hard to be Chris Rock.

It's hard to be an open Micah too.

No, it is. But what I mean is maybe harder.

To be an open mic because you don't know what the path is like. You don't even know how to get funny.

But what I mean by that is that the open mic er, how many guys did, when you started coming, how many guys did you know who were so much funnier than you just because they played poker without chips on the table? They would show up on their turn, go on on their favorite room, do their favorite material. They would have a couple of drinks, but they would then disappear when. And then when they get the weekend and it's Thursday, you gotta be funny at 08:00. Friday you gotta be funny at seven and ten. They would kind of fall apart because they're only playing poker by their rules when they're comfortable with their friends in their favorite rooms. But can you be a professional five times a week?

Also, when you feel uncomfortable going to this new place and then you know you have to do a long time, do you have the stamina to keep that party mind going on for 45, 50 minutes? A lot of free ballin.

A lot of free ballin.

Free ball. It's fine if you're doing 15 minutes.

Absolutely.

You don't worry about it.

Yeah, yeah. That's what I'm saying. It's on your terms.

It's different thing.

It's on your terms, you know?

Yeah. Well, I think if you're gonna prepare for a special, you have to do a lot of hours. I don't really think you could get away with, unless you're a guy who does a lot of non sequiturs. Maybe you could piece together, like, three or four sets and then put them together for one night. Because if you know how they go, you could do that. Like, if you're working in New York City. But there's no substitute for those long ass sets, man.

Yeah, absolutely. And there's different types of comedians that have a different process. Absolutely. There's no right way of doing it. But are you staring down the bull of your own fears? You know?

Right.

Whereas some guys maybe might not benefit from writing during the day. I get that. But are you maybe overlooking.

Everybody benefits from.

Yeah, that's what I say.

I don't believe that. I don't believe that. I believe even the greats, even the greats who don't do it, if they did it, they'd be even better. And I think that because of my own personal experience with, with writing a lot.

Absolutely. When I started, I remember that was exactly the murderers around me who were a bit ahead of me during the day. They would all have these talks and they would all be like, what is the path and energy and what, you know, what is the comedy? What is it? But the whole time I'm just writing basic hacky anecdotes because I'm fucking two years in, of course, writing basic hack anecdotes. But I remember from sports, I just looked, because they all came from the, either fucking bars or artistic or theater. I came from sports where it's like, no, no, show up for practice. I don't give a fuck if it's your off day. Listen, if your leg hurts, don't kick us hard, but just be there. Be cognitively in the process. You're putting energy into the universe. And the way the universe has always worked is if you put energy out, something's coming back. There's never, I've never known a comedian who has been working hard, honest, for ten years and hasn't made it. I've never known a guy, if they.

Have it, if they have the spark, but there have been some people that somehow or another snuck through on some bizarre way that are still there.

Yeah. But even that is a true testament of. If you just. Fucking.

Right, but what. Yeah, but we can talk about that later. That's not important to be negative. But, yeah, you're right. It's, it's like if you. I always say to people that are funny at all, like, if you do an open mic night, you make me laugh. Like, you have the hardest part to down. You're funny.

So true.

Now just keep going. Now just keep working at it. And the more time you spend working on it in every realm, whether the more sets you do, the more recordings you listen to, the more writing you sit in front of your notepad. Yeah, write, sit down, come up with ideas, mess them around. Mess around. Like, go over some of your old notes you should have. Old notes. You should. I have like, orphan baby folder. So, like, they're there. Orphaned jokes of mine. You know, the, the thing about writing, they always say, kill your baby babies. You know, like for editing. Like it's hard for writers or hard for anybody who's a creative person. They create something, you don't want to let it go. I like a whole folder of orphan babies. And I go back to that folder every now and then, every once in a while. Maybe I need to talk about that again, huh? Yeah, maybe I find a new way. And so you always have, like, some fertile land to till. And that's only from writing. If you don't write into, then you're just stuck with what's in your mind right now.

And what's in your mind right now. It's probably pretty good. A lot of guys do very well with what's their mind right now.

Especially.

They do a lot of sets, but you're really better off if you also spend some more time working on the ideas in silence by yourself. Just sit there, sit there. And you'll, every now and then you come up with some of my best lines. I've come up with that way.

Exactly.

It's out of nowhere.

And then the most magical dude, I had that at that little boy on Tuesday doing bottom of the barrel, where I pull out the saw subject and there's a, like a shelf in my mind that was there. I put that topic there seven, eight years ago.

Ah. And then you remember it, put it there.

And I never even thought about it because it was so stupid.

It was out of bottom of the barrel, like a little gift from the universe.

Then I go to the green room, I write it out, go straight to fat man murder.

Ah, yeah, that's the beautiful thing about that place. It's, it really is a true place where you could devise, develop. I'm taking a couple weeks off, but I'll be back.

Yeah. Hell yeah, dude. It's crazy.

I need to just relax a little.

You know? The first time I saw you was in Australia. Comics lounge, Melbourne.

Yeah.

One of the door guys. Tim was a good friend of mine and he writes me during the day. Hey, Tony Hinchcliffe. And this was when, cuz I told you, this was when Tony, this was fucking eight years ago. He was already. But he wasn't the heel that he is now, right, the guy, right. But he had that spark because when he opened for you in the theater, I remember he opened with Melbourne, Australia. Lots of white people. What is this, heaven? And Melbourne is a super liberal, you know, the theater. Ah, the release.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

There needs to be tension for there to be release.

Yeah.

And I remember my friend Tim writes me and he goes, oh, Joe Rogan. And they're coming too. And it was another guy's, he was like an australian guy show or something, you know, that's his headlining show. And he was big in Australia, but not like pack out the club half papered older people, you know, it was like a, like a regular crowd. I would say nothing. Superstar rockstar shit, right? And all the open mic ers, all, everybody gets back into the room to watch you because you're our first famous guy that we've seen drop into that club. And in our head, you know how open my. We're all haters, dude. We're all like, let's see this american guy bomb, you know, because we're all haters at that point, you know, open mic.

Oh, yeah, I was a dude.

Yeah. What do you think? Dude, I'm getting two minutes at this club. What the fuck am I? You know? So we're all like, oh, how's this? And you come, they go from America. And this was. You had the Jorgen experience. He was, I think on you just went from you stream to YouTube. It was big in the comedy community. But in Australia, pop culture, not that big. You know, you were the fear factor guy, I would say most. Just looking at the crowd, what they thought of you. And you get a polite. Nothing like it would be today. You get a polite applause and you go out there and it was your triggered set. You did. You did so clever too. You did the opener of your hour and the closer, right? Because I saw you in the next day in the theater. Yeah, dude, you were murdering so hard when you had that Kim Kardashian pit. When you're climbing on a stool, you're kicking off the heels. Yeah, sweat was dripping. Because it was summer in Australia. Sweat was dripping down. I remember. And all of us, like, comics in the back are like, this is not a crowd that for who Kim Kardashian is a prevalent pop figure.

But you bit was so, so good that it transcends the reference. You know, it's like me as a young kid watching Dave Chappelle doing crack baby. I'm an estonian white kid in a suburb. What do I know about the corner and the projects? I've never seen a black person, but he's literally never. But he's. But his talent transcends the reference.

Right?

And I remember you were murdering so hard. And that's when I was. Was like, holy fuck, like, because we all thought you're just like, a famous guy who just does stand up on the side. And we were like, not. This guy's a murderer. And I remember that poor headliner. I mean, rest in peace. And you were, like, slamming.

Well, thanks, brother. Yeah, that was right when I was about to film triggered. So that shit was height. That shit was tight.

And then I remember Barrett, somebody comes back to me, they know I smoke weed. They go, Mister Rogan needs weed. And in my head, I'm like, um.

Didn'T we hang out on this little, like, balcony area a little?

So let me tell you about this balcony.

Hey, we gotta go, man. Oh, I'm sorry. I gotta wrap this up. Let's wrap it up.

Let's wrap it up with this. Okay, so you're on the balcony, and I. I get the weed, and I tell my friend Tim, see, I'm cool. I. I'm not gonna talk. And everybody tried to talk to you there. I'm just gonna give you a fist bump. And the weed. I go, I have the weed. Tim grabs the weed, turns around and just walks away. And in my head, I'm like, I wish I could have just given you a fist bump, you know? But now, nine years later, hey, fuck you, Tim.

Fuck you, Tim, you hater. You take his weed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was fun. That was a. It's cool. It's always cool to go to a different country and see foxy.

And then you murdered in the theater. Peter. 07:00 a.m. i see you at UFC. Holy holm, Ronda Rousey. Amazing ko, dude. I go back to bed, I wake up, you're already in LA talking to a scientist, engaged. I'm like, this guy fucking. That was like a crazy weekend, you know?

Yeah, it's a wild life. Anyway, again, thank you, my brother. Thank you for being at the club. Thanks for being an awesome guy. It's great having you around. Thank you so much. And if people get a chance to see you live, don't miss it. Ari is a real killer. Twelve years in and this is beautiful to see you there, man. And thank you very much for being there. Friday and Saturday night.

You fucking.

It meant a lot to me. It really did. Thank you all, you guys, Ron and Tony. That meant so much to me because it was like I was at home. Was like, we're home no matter where.

The club's amazing. Thank you.

Tell everybody your instagrams they could find you.

Re Maddie comedy. Re Emmye atti comedy on Instagram.

Easiest way you have a website?

Building one.

Building one.

I have an old one, arimatti.com. but if you go to the Instagram, all my dates are there.

All right, beautiful.

Thank you so much.

My pleasure. Bye, everybody. Bye.