Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast.

I am rolling in here with a crazy story to tell you about a friend of mine that called me a couple days ago, and it gives me the opportunity to talk about triggers. You know, triggers, people in your life that trigger you irritating people that you don't really like. I know you're supposed to like everybody. You don't like them, and you're seeing them winning, or someone's success that really bugs you or a situation that's happening in your life, or you're justAnd then something extraordinarily triggering happened. The head of HR walked up and she said to me, I feel an obligation to tell you something that is going to be very painful to hear because I think its important as a woman that I support another woman in knowing the truth. And Im thinking, oh my God, what the hell have I done? And she said, you were ten times better than any of the speakers that we hired for this three day summit. Ten times better, hands down.And we paid each and every speaker five times the amount we paid you. In fact, your price was so low that we didn't believe that you were as good as people said you were. And when she gave me that feedback, first of all, I was relieved that she didn't say you sucked. That was terrible and we're really disappointed and we need our money back. But when she said that, it just like, ugh, hit me in the heart when somebody tells you that you're playing small, and when they have the just generosity to also tell you the painful thing you're missing out on because you're keeping yourself small.And the truth is, as painful as it was to hear that, I got lucky that day because it could have been just as easy for her to think that and not say it. And I'm telling you the story because I think it's important in any area of your life where you're playing small, you're keeping yourself in a box, maybe you're not posting your music online, maybe you're not starting that YouTube channel. Maybe you're not writing that book. Maybe you're not writing that business plan. Maybe you're not charging what you need to charge.Maybe you're not firing that pain in the ass client that's taken up all your time and that nickel and dimes you on the bill, wherever it is that you're playing small, you're ignoring the people in your life that are like, you deserve so much better than this. You by the way, was very triggering.That was my mission. My mission today is to trigger you, to make you annoyed, whether it's at me or somebody else, so that you start to go, yeah, I'm kind of mad. I'm mad. I'm mad that I'm not doing the thing that I need to be doing. I'm mad at myself for sitting around.I'm mad at myself for being scared about whatever it is you think instead of doing the thing I need to do, I'm mad that I've gotten myself in over my head and I'm hiding instead of standing up and fixing this. Or I'm mad that I am holding myself back, that I know I am meant to play a bigger game, but I refuse to get out of this box and actually take the damn risk to do it. And so now I want to connect these three types of triggers with the advice that you need. Because when someone that you don't like is getting what you want and you're not dealing with the 10% of the situation where it's the trust funders, or it's a situation of bias, or it's a situation of privilege, or it's a situation where they were just naturally born with a supermodel brazilian bikini body. No, I'm talking about the 90% where someone.Oh, God, you just. They're putting in the work, and they're getting where you want to be, and it's irritating. Or someone calling you out on your b's. Yeah, you're going to feel embarrassed, but you haven't asked for help, or you haven't been honest with the people around you, or you haven't been proactive at actually up leveling your own skills so that you can swim in the deep end. Or the third where a person is pushing you to take a risk.And, man, you're like a mule. You have dug those hooves in. You are staying in that box. I want you to apply to the better school. Go for the bigger job.Do not keep yourself small. I want you to welcome these triggers because they are the greatest teachers ever. Feeling embarrassed, being over your head, getting angry. Because the thing about triggers, the more you avoid doing something that you know you need to be doing, the bigger the trigger is going to get. See, I find in my life, the more stubborn I get.Life doesn't just disappear. Life shows up with a bigger sledgehammer. And so step one is just identify. Oh, here I am. I'm triggered.Mel said this is good news. I recognize. I got something I need to do. And here's step two. You want the formula?Play the hundred day rule. That's it. Play the hundred day rule. That's all you got to do. You want to grow your social media following.Post for 100 days. You want to write a killer song. Write song lyrics 100 days in a row. Write crappy songs. 100 songs.100 days in a row. You want to publish a book every single day for 100 days, you better be writing. You want to get better at a three point shot. Hundred days, basketball court, 15 minutes, hitting three point shot. That's how you do it, because that's where the work is done.That's the other thing I want you to do. Anytime you feel angry, good. Anger gets a bad reputation. But getting really angry at yourself can be really important if you know what to do with it, because your anger is trying to tell you something. So if you're sitting there and now you're, like, really annoyed, good, I'm your trigger.Because that's exactly what this episode has been designed to do. Wherever you are in a situation where you know what you should be doing and you're not doing it, stop looking at all the people ahead of you. They're not going to get you to do it. It's the one person that is near you that's annoying you. They have to be the one.Anger is the shot in the ass that you need. The trigger is just the universe shaking you. And the more you ignore it, it, the louder and more painful it's going to be. All right. You know, funny, it stopped raining outside.I guess that means my work here is done. Oh, no, it isn't. One more thing. Recognizing the trigger is the hardest part, but it is the first step. And if you can stop yourself from just swirling and you recognize that the universe has handed you a teacher.Holy cow, you're going to be unstoppable. Absolutely unstoppable. And in case no one else tells you, I wanted to be sure to tell you that I love you. I believe in you, and I believe in your ability to create a better life, to learn social media, to not be bothered by what that irritating person is doing, and to show up every day and put your head down and just do the hard, annoying thing, because that is what is going to lead to all the success that you deserve. Talk to you in a few days.All right, tell me when you guys are ready. Is there a storm coming? Yeah. Oh, boy. And she's.Oh, wait, sorry. Gotcha, gotcha. Wait, is that. Do I do that later? Okay, great.Oh, my God. Is this true? Oh, my God. This story is so cringy. Okay, thank you, everybody.Oh, and one more thing. And no, this is not a blooper. This is the legal language. You know, what the lawyers write and what I need to read to you. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes.I'm just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional, coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I'll see you in the next episode.Stitcher.

And then something extraordinarily triggering happened. The head of HR walked up and she said to me, I feel an obligation to tell you something that is going to be very painful to hear because I think its important as a woman that I support another woman in knowing the truth. And Im thinking, oh my God, what the hell have I done? And she said, you were ten times better than any of the speakers that we hired for this three day summit. Ten times better, hands down.

And we paid each and every speaker five times the amount we paid you. In fact, your price was so low that we didn't believe that you were as good as people said you were. And when she gave me that feedback, first of all, I was relieved that she didn't say you sucked. That was terrible and we're really disappointed and we need our money back. But when she said that, it just like, ugh, hit me in the heart when somebody tells you that you're playing small, and when they have the just generosity to also tell you the painful thing you're missing out on because you're keeping yourself small.

And the truth is, as painful as it was to hear that, I got lucky that day because it could have been just as easy for her to think that and not say it. And I'm telling you the story because I think it's important in any area of your life where you're playing small, you're keeping yourself in a box, maybe you're not posting your music online, maybe you're not starting that YouTube channel. Maybe you're not writing that book. Maybe you're not writing that business plan. Maybe you're not charging what you need to charge.

Maybe you're not firing that pain in the ass client that's taken up all your time and that nickel and dimes you on the bill, wherever it is that you're playing small, you're ignoring the people in your life that are like, you deserve so much better than this. You by the way, was very triggering.That was my mission. My mission today is to trigger you, to make you annoyed, whether it's at me or somebody else, so that you start to go, yeah, I'm kind of mad. I'm mad. I'm mad that I'm not doing the thing that I need to be doing. I'm mad at myself for sitting around.I'm mad at myself for being scared about whatever it is you think instead of doing the thing I need to do, I'm mad that I've gotten myself in over my head and I'm hiding instead of standing up and fixing this. Or I'm mad that I am holding myself back, that I know I am meant to play a bigger game, but I refuse to get out of this box and actually take the damn risk to do it. And so now I want to connect these three types of triggers with the advice that you need. Because when someone that you don't like is getting what you want and you're not dealing with the 10% of the situation where it's the trust funders, or it's a situation of bias, or it's a situation of privilege, or it's a situation where they were just naturally born with a supermodel brazilian bikini body. No, I'm talking about the 90% where someone.Oh, God, you just. They're putting in the work, and they're getting where you want to be, and it's irritating. Or someone calling you out on your b's. Yeah, you're going to feel embarrassed, but you haven't asked for help, or you haven't been honest with the people around you, or you haven't been proactive at actually up leveling your own skills so that you can swim in the deep end. Or the third where a person is pushing you to take a risk.And, man, you're like a mule. You have dug those hooves in. You are staying in that box. I want you to apply to the better school. Go for the bigger job.Do not keep yourself small. I want you to welcome these triggers because they are the greatest teachers ever. Feeling embarrassed, being over your head, getting angry. Because the thing about triggers, the more you avoid doing something that you know you need to be doing, the bigger the trigger is going to get. See, I find in my life, the more stubborn I get.Life doesn't just disappear. Life shows up with a bigger sledgehammer. And so step one is just identify. Oh, here I am. I'm triggered.Mel said this is good news. I recognize. I got something I need to do. And here's step two. You want the formula?Play the hundred day rule. That's it. Play the hundred day rule. That's all you got to do. You want to grow your social media following.Post for 100 days. You want to write a killer song. Write song lyrics 100 days in a row. Write crappy songs. 100 songs.100 days in a row. You want to publish a book every single day for 100 days, you better be writing. You want to get better at a three point shot. Hundred days, basketball court, 15 minutes, hitting three point shot. That's how you do it, because that's where the work is done.That's the other thing I want you to do. Anytime you feel angry, good. Anger gets a bad reputation. But getting really angry at yourself can be really important if you know what to do with it, because your anger is trying to tell you something. So if you're sitting there and now you're, like, really annoyed, good, I'm your trigger.Because that's exactly what this episode has been designed to do. Wherever you are in a situation where you know what you should be doing and you're not doing it, stop looking at all the people ahead of you. They're not going to get you to do it. It's the one person that is near you that's annoying you. They have to be the one.Anger is the shot in the ass that you need. The trigger is just the universe shaking you. And the more you ignore it, it, the louder and more painful it's going to be. All right. You know, funny, it stopped raining outside.I guess that means my work here is done. Oh, no, it isn't. One more thing. Recognizing the trigger is the hardest part, but it is the first step. And if you can stop yourself from just swirling and you recognize that the universe has handed you a teacher.Holy cow, you're going to be unstoppable. Absolutely unstoppable. And in case no one else tells you, I wanted to be sure to tell you that I love you. I believe in you, and I believe in your ability to create a better life, to learn social media, to not be bothered by what that irritating person is doing, and to show up every day and put your head down and just do the hard, annoying thing, because that is what is going to lead to all the success that you deserve. Talk to you in a few days.All right, tell me when you guys are ready. Is there a storm coming? Yeah. Oh, boy. And she's.Oh, wait, sorry. Gotcha, gotcha. Wait, is that. Do I do that later? Okay, great.Oh, my God. Is this true? Oh, my God. This story is so cringy. Okay, thank you, everybody.Oh, and one more thing. And no, this is not a blooper. This is the legal language. You know, what the lawyers write and what I need to read to you. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes.I'm just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional, coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I'll see you in the next episode.Stitcher.

by the way, was very triggering.

That was my mission. My mission today is to trigger you, to make you annoyed, whether it's at me or somebody else, so that you start to go, yeah, I'm kind of mad. I'm mad. I'm mad that I'm not doing the thing that I need to be doing. I'm mad at myself for sitting around.

I'm mad at myself for being scared about whatever it is you think instead of doing the thing I need to do, I'm mad that I've gotten myself in over my head and I'm hiding instead of standing up and fixing this. Or I'm mad that I am holding myself back, that I know I am meant to play a bigger game, but I refuse to get out of this box and actually take the damn risk to do it. And so now I want to connect these three types of triggers with the advice that you need. Because when someone that you don't like is getting what you want and you're not dealing with the 10% of the situation where it's the trust funders, or it's a situation of bias, or it's a situation of privilege, or it's a situation where they were just naturally born with a supermodel brazilian bikini body. No, I'm talking about the 90% where someone.

Oh, God, you just. They're putting in the work, and they're getting where you want to be, and it's irritating. Or someone calling you out on your b's. Yeah, you're going to feel embarrassed, but you haven't asked for help, or you haven't been honest with the people around you, or you haven't been proactive at actually up leveling your own skills so that you can swim in the deep end. Or the third where a person is pushing you to take a risk.

And, man, you're like a mule. You have dug those hooves in. You are staying in that box. I want you to apply to the better school. Go for the bigger job.

Do not keep yourself small. I want you to welcome these triggers because they are the greatest teachers ever. Feeling embarrassed, being over your head, getting angry. Because the thing about triggers, the more you avoid doing something that you know you need to be doing, the bigger the trigger is going to get. See, I find in my life, the more stubborn I get.

Life doesn't just disappear. Life shows up with a bigger sledgehammer. And so step one is just identify. Oh, here I am. I'm triggered.

Mel said this is good news. I recognize. I got something I need to do. And here's step two. You want the formula?

Play the hundred day rule. That's it. Play the hundred day rule. That's all you got to do. You want to grow your social media following.

Post for 100 days. You want to write a killer song. Write song lyrics 100 days in a row. Write crappy songs. 100 songs.

100 days in a row. You want to publish a book every single day for 100 days, you better be writing. You want to get better at a three point shot. Hundred days, basketball court, 15 minutes, hitting three point shot. That's how you do it, because that's where the work is done.

That's the other thing I want you to do. Anytime you feel angry, good. Anger gets a bad reputation. But getting really angry at yourself can be really important if you know what to do with it, because your anger is trying to tell you something. So if you're sitting there and now you're, like, really annoyed, good, I'm your trigger.

Because that's exactly what this episode has been designed to do. Wherever you are in a situation where you know what you should be doing and you're not doing it, stop looking at all the people ahead of you. They're not going to get you to do it. It's the one person that is near you that's annoying you. They have to be the one.

Anger is the shot in the ass that you need. The trigger is just the universe shaking you. And the more you ignore it, it, the louder and more painful it's going to be. All right. You know, funny, it stopped raining outside.

I guess that means my work here is done. Oh, no, it isn't. One more thing. Recognizing the trigger is the hardest part, but it is the first step. And if you can stop yourself from just swirling and you recognize that the universe has handed you a teacher.

Holy cow, you're going to be unstoppable. Absolutely unstoppable. And in case no one else tells you, I wanted to be sure to tell you that I love you. I believe in you, and I believe in your ability to create a better life, to learn social media, to not be bothered by what that irritating person is doing, and to show up every day and put your head down and just do the hard, annoying thing, because that is what is going to lead to all the success that you deserve. Talk to you in a few days.

All right, tell me when you guys are ready. Is there a storm coming? Yeah. Oh, boy. And she's.

Oh, wait, sorry. Gotcha, gotcha. Wait, is that. Do I do that later? Okay, great.

Oh, my God. Is this true? Oh, my God. This story is so cringy. Okay, thank you, everybody.

Oh, and one more thing. And no, this is not a blooper. This is the legal language. You know, what the lawyers write and what I need to read to you. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes.

I'm just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional, coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I'll see you in the next episode.

Stitcher.