Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast. Today, you and I are going to learn how to take better care of your brain. And maybe you've never even thought about the fact that you should take better care of your brain or that you even can. And if you really stop and think about it, why don't we? I mean, your brain is the supercomputer that keeps you alive. It's responsible for your mental health, your happiness, your memory, your focus. It keeps your body running. I mean, it is literally in charge of everything. If your brain's not working, you're dead. Why isn't there a user manual for the most important organ in your body? I mean, you literally cannot live without it. Well, the experts that you're going to meet today say, taking care of your brain, this supercomputer that runs your life, is super easy. And based on more than 200,000 brain scans, there are little hacks that you can do every single day to sharpen, strengthen, and build a better and happier brain. And I really want you to think about this for a second. I mean, you pay so much attention to your teeth.

You brush your teeth every day. You floss, you whiten them. And how about your nails? I mean, you're constantly fussing with your nails, whether you're cutting them, filing them, you dip your gel, you paint, you push back the cuticles. You make sure there's no gunk under them. I mean, just think about it. It's kind of like a daily thing to fuss with your nails. What if building a better brain was as easy as brushing your teeth or pushing back your cuticles? Well, it is. And the number one brain doctor on the planet is here to teach you a simple habit that you need to do every morning that's as fast as brushing your teeth. I mean, isn't that cool? Sign me up. And guess what? I'm just getting started. Six world renowned experts are here to teach you daily tricks that will help you take better care of your brain and unleash its full potential. You're going to get the simple science on improving your memory, the right foods to eat, beating, procrastination, and one thing that a renowned doctor wants you to avoid, to have a better brain. And what about that little voice in your head?

Is there anything you can do to improve that? Of course there is. And finally, you're going to meet a Harvard trained professor and learn a daily habit for boosting your brain's capacity for happiness. Your mind is never going to be the same. And everything that you're going to learn today is as easy as brushing your teeth.

When you're really not feeling well or if you're in pain. Getting medical treatment without delay is what matters to you. At Matter private network in Dublin, our emergency department is open Monday to Saturday, 08:00 a.m. to 07:00 p.m. you can quickly access expert medical care from our consultant led team, and no appointment is necessary. See matterprivate, ie for details on getting the emergency care you need as soon as possible. Matter private network Emergency department, Dublin over 16s only.

Hey, it's your friend Mel, and thank you so much for being here with me and taking the time, time to listen to something that could improve your life. That is just so cool. And it's an honor to be together today. If you're a new listener, I want to welcome you to the Mel Robbins podcast family. I'm so glad you're here. I'm Mel Robbins. I am excited to share this time with you. And today you and I are talking about a topic that you may have never even considered, which is how you should be taking care of your brain. I mean, the same way that you brush your teeth or fuss with your nails, there are simple things you and I can do to make your brain better, sharper, smarter, and happier. And my mission today is to make you want to take care of your brain. And I'll admit something to you. Until I started the Mel Robbins podcast, I didn't think about taking care of my brain. You know, I just thought about my brain, and I pictured that sort of mound of macaroni that's like, at the back of your head. After today, though, it will not be an afterthought.

Your brain will become a daily priority because you're going to meet six world renowned experts, including the number one brain doctor on the planet, professors from Stanford and Harvard Medical School, and researchers who are here for just one reason, to empower you with simple, science supported hacks and daily practices that will help you take care of your brain and unleash its full potential. And what I love about the six experts is that they all have this incredible message of hope and empowerment with all the simple hacks they're about to teach you. The fact is, you can build a better brain. And it doesn't matter how young you are or how old you may be, this is the truth. It's science. Whether you've had concussions, whether you did well in school or you didn't, whether you're a fast processor or slow processor. You can build a better brain using the simple, proven strategies that you're about to learn today. And the first expert I cannot wait for you to meet is Jim Quick. Jim, like all six experts today, has appeared on the Mel Robbins podcast. And if you want to dig in deeper to his advice or anything that you're about to hear, just go to the show notes.

You can find them@melrobbins.com. podcast podcast. And I want to give you some context for what you're about to hear from Jim. When Jim was little, they used to call him, get this, the boy with the broken brain. And they called him that due to this freak accident that happened to him in elementary school in his classroom. He was standing on this chair in his classroom, and he fell off it and hit his head on a radiator. And after that accident, Jim had incredible difficulty learning, studying, memorizing, and even simply functioning in the classroom. But luckily for you, he figured out not only how to heal his brain, but Jim Quick is now a world renowned brain coach, teaching millions of people how to have a sharper memory, better information retention, and a happier brain. And today, he is your brain coach. I want Jim, who is a world renowned brain coach and the head of a very successful brain institute, to share with you this incredibly positive message about your brain. And we're going to start here because his words are inspiring. They're based on the work that he does with thousands of people every single year and extensive research.

And here's Jim after I asked him this question. Jim, do you really believe absolutely anyone can improve their brain? You in our 39 years of marriage, we pay ahead of time all the time.I get the bill. I pay it because I don't. I just want to get rid of it. All right. All right. So at the end of the year, did they ever come back and say, thank you very much, here's a little extra gift. Here's 2%. No. Our cultures don't reward us for doing things ahead of time. They punish us for being lazy.What are the causes of procrastination?Fears. I'm afraid of failure. See, if I never finish, I can never be judged. Let me explain what I'm talking about, okay? If I take my time doing something, if I don't meet the deadline and I delay, then I can simply say, you know, I didn't have enough time. I know this is not the best thing. This is as good as I can get it, but if I had more time, I would have done better. So lack of effort is, is not a positive image, but it's a better image than I did it, and it's a piece of garbage, you know, if you put something together. So people would rather have other people think that they lack effort. Hence, I procrastinate than lack ability, because I can't change ability the next time, I can try harder.And so for a person who really is in their own way, they see themselves sabotaging. What can somebody do in their own life after hearing this? What are the baby steps?Start small. Don't think. You just have to manage your time. That's not going to work for you. It's like dieting. You'll start in the beginning, but you'll give it up. Start small. This is what cognitive therapists would ask you to do. First of all, what you're doing is you're looking at the forest, and you're missing that the forest is made up of trees. You don't miss the forest because you focus on the trees. That's not the procrastinator problem. It's the other way around. They see the forest. Oh, my God. This is a huge task. Holy cow. I can't get all of this done. And they forget that the forest is made up of trees. So, listener, viewer. All right, it's made up of trees. And so what if you cut down one tree at a time? Oh, that's too much for you. Then let's give me three branches. You can't do three branches. I'll take a handful of leaves. But start small. Do something. And so what if you fail?Don't you just love his passion and conviction? And I just wanted all day? You're just not good enough, or no one's gonna want me, or no one's gonna want you. We're talking to ourselves, and it's painting with a very, very broad brush that is really kind of striking to the core. It's hard to argue with something like that because it's so pervasive. So instead of arguing with it, the idea is to recognize it and reject it.How do you do that?Going through and exploring some of that when we can reflect on, get a handle on, wait, what is going on inside of me? And it starts with curiosity. I think the starting place is always just a curiosity about ourselves. And a lot of times, just as a person doesn't want to go look at the trauma, why do I want to go look at that thing that makes me nervous or that works very strongly against our curiosity about ourselves? And if we are sort of free to be curious about ourselves, it's not dangerous or threatening to be curious about ourselves. There's so much, much that we can learn. So just an example can be, what does my self talk like? What do I say to myself in quiet moments? What do I say to myself if I do something wrong? What do I say to myself if I drop something? What do I say to myself if I approach a new social situation or a new challenge, then now we start to put words to things. When we put it outside of us, it's different. Which is why, if we're talking to someone that can make a difference, a trusted other, about, hey, I was thinking about, you know, like, I'm saying this to myself over and over.I realize it's been going on in me for years. Can we say that to someone else? Or can we write it, you know, writing it down, journaling can make a big difference in that way. And the talking to another person can involve a therapist. So I very often will want people to understand we can change this, right. But it's going to take us, I'm not sure. I might say, you know, it's probably going to be in the four to six month range. We can really get our arms around this. And I want and hope that things can start improving a couple weeks down the road. But it's a several month process. Like, let the person know that because so often there's just a reflex that says, hey, somebody threw a medicine at you, right? And that medicine's supposed to make you better, right? Let alone if it's like a couple therapy sessions. And that's supposed to make a person better. We need a rational framing for what's going on inside of us and, and to plot out how do we actually get to change?You know, one of the things that I love about Doctor Conti is that don't you just trust him? Like, I don't know if it's tone of his voice or just the way he explains things, but he's so honest and realistic. And if you try this strategy once and then you don't feel good immediately, you're going to give up. And so I think it's super important that you understand that, yeah, you're going to feel better within weeks. It'll really stick within months. But this is something that you can do every single day that's super fast and simple, that's going to have a big impact. And that's sort of like all the advice from every single doctor and medical expert on the show today, that there is this hope that's underlying all of it. That, yes, you can build a better brain. And based on what you just learned from Doctor Conte, that if you truly practice this every single day, just like you brush your teeth every single day, within a few months, you can heal this pattern of negative self talk and clean your brain, make it more positive. You know, in fact, it reminds me of our son Oakley.He's going to kill me for telling you this. But in elementary school, he literally barely brushed his teeth. I mean, we used to beg him, dude, you got to brush your teeth. And his older sisters, they would tease him about it because they were like, dude, your teeth are like yellow and disgusting. And then all of a sudden it was like, I don't know if it was middle school or what. He just decided that it mattered to him to take care of his teeth. And all it took was a couple months of daily brushing. And all of a sudden, he's got the brightest, cleanest, most beautiful choppers you've ever seen. Doctor Conti is here to say, your brain works the same way. You can clean it up, you can make it brighter and more positive. And it just goes to show you that every single one of these experts has told you your brain can change. And when you change the way you talk to yourself, you clean up that self talk. You literally open a door to an entirely new world. And I so want that for you. Well, Doctor Conti was far from done when we had him on the podcast.And there was something else that I really wanted you to hear. And it's all about why we have these patterns of self sabotage. And I think you will find this metaphor that Doctor Conti and I discuss so helpful. As you make it your mission to stop your negative self talk too.We can start feeling better, doing better, emboldening ourselves, just by doing small, nice things for ourselves and for other people. It may sound trite, but it is not to a good hand. Say if you're in that line at the coffee shop and somebody drops something to pick it up for them, or to give them a smile, or do something nicer for ourselves, because we often self punish and just walk that distance in the rain, instead of putting an umbrella up, we do a lot of these things to ourselves where we could just in the moment, just be nicer to ourselves, more considerate to ourselves and to others. And that starts empowering and emboldening us to do that. To see there's enough good in me that I can give somebody a smile, I can give somebody a helping hand, or I can even be a little nicer to myself. And it may sound small or trite, but I promise that it is not. And it's often that that gets the ball rolling towards something maybe more difficult, like looking at something that I know is on my mind a lot, but I've been scared to look at.I think we can start in simple ways. Simple goodness to self and others.Yes. That example of putting an umbrella up was so poignant, because I think of how many times I've had an umbrella and I've just been like, no, it's okay, I carry the umbrella, I walk a couple blocks, I pop my collar, I start a hunch down and I take the drops. And that moment where you stop and put up the umbrella, it is important. And I keep thinking about this visual of the raindrops being like the negative of beatdown and the act of popping up the umbrella as a way to just have yourself not have to hear it.I really do love that because, you know, sometimes we'll say I, to hell with it. You know, like, but like the idea I get the umbrella out, but to hell with it. No, no, that's actually to hell with me. So we want to stop and think. Like, what am I really thinking? To hell with me. I'm not worth getting the umbrella out. Right? And it's, it's awareness. Like, I know I'm going to stop and I'm going to do that. I'm not going to say the hell with it. To hell with me. I'm going to, I'm going to make some protection. Just you make a little more pleasantness or anything positive for myself. And I love that way of then the umbrella is shielding us from the negativity because we've had the wherewithal inside of ourselves to do something small but meaningful for ourselves. Yeah, I think that's a powerful way to move that example forward. I like that.I just love that. I want you to keep that image of an umbrella in your mind when you're training your brain to cheer you on rather than beating you down. I mean, it's so powerful and it's going to help you stay curious like Doctor Conti suggested, as you examine those thoughts so you can let them go. And when you change your self talk, you will be a happier person. And on that topic, our next expert says that one of the most important things your brain can do for you is help you be happier. I mean, that is a superpower that is right in your brain that you are about to learn today. And that's why I'm so excited about this. Next expert. Sean Achor is a friend. He's a New York Times bestselling author of the Happiness Advantage and Big Potential. His happiness advantage training is one of the largest and most successful positive psychology training programs in the world. And he's here today to give you the most beautiful metaphor about happiness and to let you know that there's always more happiness available to you. In fact, way more than you think. Here's Sean Aker giving you a major reframe on how to think about happiness.We get so focused upon whether or not a glass is half full or half empty. Then we decide our happiness based upon that optimism or pessimism. But I've always had this idea, this picture in my head of we're so focused on this glass being half or half empty but ignoring that there's a picture of water sitting right next to it that we could fill it up with. When we do these habits and when we care for and let other people in, we're filling up that glass, and that glass does not look like it did the day before.That's great, Sean. Why don't you walk through the four habits that everybody should try for 21 days?We get people to write down each day for two minutes three new things that they're grateful for that have occurred over the past 24 hours. And we don't let them repeat for 21 days in a row, so that it's not what you're grateful for. The matter is the scanning. We also got people to go on a 15 minutes brisk walk four to five times a week, which we found is the equivalent of taking an antidepressant for the first six months, for the next two years as a 30% lower relapse rate back to that depressed state. We find that if you take your hands off your keyboard for two minutes today and just watch your breath go in and out, you're training your brain to do one thing at a time. And 21 days later, not only your accuracy rates improving by 10%, but levels of happiness rise. Stress levels drop, and the cortisol levels of the people that are around you change. So their stress levels are dropping as well. So you're literally changing other people's biochemical patterns based upon your habits. And finally, we've got people to write a two minute positive email each day praising or thanking one new person, a different person, each day for 21 days in a row.So just thanking them for something or praising them for something, a weak tire or strong tire. But 21 days later, we find that it dramatically improves the greatest predictor of your long term levels of happiness. Happiness, which is your social connection score.Boom. That's not just the happiness advantage, people. Those are the happiness actions. And I'm telling you, based on the research, you got to do it. I always say, sean, this is not just a listening podcast. So do those things for 21 days, and I think you will be shocked at how the needle moves. Can you just bottom line what somebody should do right now? Now, to tap into this concept of happiness and joy, accept where you are.Right now, but realize that this is not the end of the story. So I believe that change is radically possible from our genes and environment. When we change our mindset and change our behavior and we link in with other people as well.I believe that incredible change is possible, too. And what you're learning today is your brain is just waiting for you to give it a nudge in the right direction. It wants you to take care of it and feed it the right foods and help it learn new skills. That's what it's made for. And after our conversation today, you now have the tools to get started. I promised you that absolutely everything that you learned today would help you build a better, sharper, stronger, and happier brain. I truly hope that everything that you learned from these six extraordinary experts not only empowers you, but they've motivated you to put it to use in your own life, because I see a bigger possibility for you. And the second you start taking better care of your brain, you'll see it, too. In case no one else tells you today, I wanted to tell you that I love you, and I believe in you, and I believe in your power to create a better life. And what you've learned today is that a better life begins with taking better care of your brain. And after everything that you've learned, you now know exactly what to do to do that.Alrighty. I'll talk to you in a few days. Okay. Did the light just change? No, the clouds passed and the room tone changed, so I don't know if there was anything that. It doesn't matter to me. S u a v e. Say it. Use it. Ask a question using their name. Visual. Shit. Welcome back. It's your friend Mel Robbins, and you and I are talking about the sexiest organ in your brain. And I believe in the power that you have to change your life, your brain. Hold on a second. What's happening here? Okay. Okay. Sorry. Ooh, I guess I'm not happy about that. My throat. Okay. Oh, and one more thing. And no, this is not a blooper. This is the legal language. You know, what the lawyers write and what I need to read to you. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. I'm just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I'll see you in the next episode.Stitcher.When you're really not feeling well or if you're in pain, getting medical treatment without delay is what matters to you. At Matter private network in Dublin, our emergency department is open Monday to Saturday, 08:00 a.m. i. A. M. To 07:00 p.m. you can quickly access expert medical care from our consultant led team, and no appointment is necessary. See matterprivate ie for details on getting the emergency care you need as soon as possible. Matter private network emergency department Dublin over 16s only.

in our 39 years of marriage, we pay ahead of time all the time.

I get the bill. I pay it because I don't. I just want to get rid of it. All right. All right. So at the end of the year, did they ever come back and say, thank you very much, here's a little extra gift. Here's 2%. No. Our cultures don't reward us for doing things ahead of time. They punish us for being lazy.

What are the causes of procrastination?

Fears. I'm afraid of failure. See, if I never finish, I can never be judged. Let me explain what I'm talking about, okay? If I take my time doing something, if I don't meet the deadline and I delay, then I can simply say, you know, I didn't have enough time. I know this is not the best thing. This is as good as I can get it, but if I had more time, I would have done better. So lack of effort is, is not a positive image, but it's a better image than I did it, and it's a piece of garbage, you know, if you put something together. So people would rather have other people think that they lack effort. Hence, I procrastinate than lack ability, because I can't change ability the next time, I can try harder.

And so for a person who really is in their own way, they see themselves sabotaging. What can somebody do in their own life after hearing this? What are the baby steps?

Start small. Don't think. You just have to manage your time. That's not going to work for you. It's like dieting. You'll start in the beginning, but you'll give it up. Start small. This is what cognitive therapists would ask you to do. First of all, what you're doing is you're looking at the forest, and you're missing that the forest is made up of trees. You don't miss the forest because you focus on the trees. That's not the procrastinator problem. It's the other way around. They see the forest. Oh, my God. This is a huge task. Holy cow. I can't get all of this done. And they forget that the forest is made up of trees. So, listener, viewer. All right, it's made up of trees. And so what if you cut down one tree at a time? Oh, that's too much for you. Then let's give me three branches. You can't do three branches. I'll take a handful of leaves. But start small. Do something. And so what if you fail?

Don't you just love his passion and conviction? And I just wanted all day? You're just not good enough, or no one's gonna want me, or no one's gonna want you. We're talking to ourselves, and it's painting with a very, very broad brush that is really kind of striking to the core. It's hard to argue with something like that because it's so pervasive. So instead of arguing with it, the idea is to recognize it and reject it.How do you do that?Going through and exploring some of that when we can reflect on, get a handle on, wait, what is going on inside of me? And it starts with curiosity. I think the starting place is always just a curiosity about ourselves. And a lot of times, just as a person doesn't want to go look at the trauma, why do I want to go look at that thing that makes me nervous or that works very strongly against our curiosity about ourselves? And if we are sort of free to be curious about ourselves, it's not dangerous or threatening to be curious about ourselves. There's so much, much that we can learn. So just an example can be, what does my self talk like? What do I say to myself in quiet moments? What do I say to myself if I do something wrong? What do I say to myself if I drop something? What do I say to myself if I approach a new social situation or a new challenge, then now we start to put words to things. When we put it outside of us, it's different. Which is why, if we're talking to someone that can make a difference, a trusted other, about, hey, I was thinking about, you know, like, I'm saying this to myself over and over.I realize it's been going on in me for years. Can we say that to someone else? Or can we write it, you know, writing it down, journaling can make a big difference in that way. And the talking to another person can involve a therapist. So I very often will want people to understand we can change this, right. But it's going to take us, I'm not sure. I might say, you know, it's probably going to be in the four to six month range. We can really get our arms around this. And I want and hope that things can start improving a couple weeks down the road. But it's a several month process. Like, let the person know that because so often there's just a reflex that says, hey, somebody threw a medicine at you, right? And that medicine's supposed to make you better, right? Let alone if it's like a couple therapy sessions. And that's supposed to make a person better. We need a rational framing for what's going on inside of us and, and to plot out how do we actually get to change?You know, one of the things that I love about Doctor Conti is that don't you just trust him? Like, I don't know if it's tone of his voice or just the way he explains things, but he's so honest and realistic. And if you try this strategy once and then you don't feel good immediately, you're going to give up. And so I think it's super important that you understand that, yeah, you're going to feel better within weeks. It'll really stick within months. But this is something that you can do every single day that's super fast and simple, that's going to have a big impact. And that's sort of like all the advice from every single doctor and medical expert on the show today, that there is this hope that's underlying all of it. That, yes, you can build a better brain. And based on what you just learned from Doctor Conte, that if you truly practice this every single day, just like you brush your teeth every single day, within a few months, you can heal this pattern of negative self talk and clean your brain, make it more positive. You know, in fact, it reminds me of our son Oakley.He's going to kill me for telling you this. But in elementary school, he literally barely brushed his teeth. I mean, we used to beg him, dude, you got to brush your teeth. And his older sisters, they would tease him about it because they were like, dude, your teeth are like yellow and disgusting. And then all of a sudden it was like, I don't know if it was middle school or what. He just decided that it mattered to him to take care of his teeth. And all it took was a couple months of daily brushing. And all of a sudden, he's got the brightest, cleanest, most beautiful choppers you've ever seen. Doctor Conti is here to say, your brain works the same way. You can clean it up, you can make it brighter and more positive. And it just goes to show you that every single one of these experts has told you your brain can change. And when you change the way you talk to yourself, you clean up that self talk. You literally open a door to an entirely new world. And I so want that for you. Well, Doctor Conti was far from done when we had him on the podcast.And there was something else that I really wanted you to hear. And it's all about why we have these patterns of self sabotage. And I think you will find this metaphor that Doctor Conti and I discuss so helpful. As you make it your mission to stop your negative self talk too.We can start feeling better, doing better, emboldening ourselves, just by doing small, nice things for ourselves and for other people. It may sound trite, but it is not to a good hand. Say if you're in that line at the coffee shop and somebody drops something to pick it up for them, or to give them a smile, or do something nicer for ourselves, because we often self punish and just walk that distance in the rain, instead of putting an umbrella up, we do a lot of these things to ourselves where we could just in the moment, just be nicer to ourselves, more considerate to ourselves and to others. And that starts empowering and emboldening us to do that. To see there's enough good in me that I can give somebody a smile, I can give somebody a helping hand, or I can even be a little nicer to myself. And it may sound small or trite, but I promise that it is not. And it's often that that gets the ball rolling towards something maybe more difficult, like looking at something that I know is on my mind a lot, but I've been scared to look at.I think we can start in simple ways. Simple goodness to self and others.Yes. That example of putting an umbrella up was so poignant, because I think of how many times I've had an umbrella and I've just been like, no, it's okay, I carry the umbrella, I walk a couple blocks, I pop my collar, I start a hunch down and I take the drops. And that moment where you stop and put up the umbrella, it is important. And I keep thinking about this visual of the raindrops being like the negative of beatdown and the act of popping up the umbrella as a way to just have yourself not have to hear it.I really do love that because, you know, sometimes we'll say I, to hell with it. You know, like, but like the idea I get the umbrella out, but to hell with it. No, no, that's actually to hell with me. So we want to stop and think. Like, what am I really thinking? To hell with me. I'm not worth getting the umbrella out. Right? And it's, it's awareness. Like, I know I'm going to stop and I'm going to do that. I'm not going to say the hell with it. To hell with me. I'm going to, I'm going to make some protection. Just you make a little more pleasantness or anything positive for myself. And I love that way of then the umbrella is shielding us from the negativity because we've had the wherewithal inside of ourselves to do something small but meaningful for ourselves. Yeah, I think that's a powerful way to move that example forward. I like that.I just love that. I want you to keep that image of an umbrella in your mind when you're training your brain to cheer you on rather than beating you down. I mean, it's so powerful and it's going to help you stay curious like Doctor Conti suggested, as you examine those thoughts so you can let them go. And when you change your self talk, you will be a happier person. And on that topic, our next expert says that one of the most important things your brain can do for you is help you be happier. I mean, that is a superpower that is right in your brain that you are about to learn today. And that's why I'm so excited about this. Next expert. Sean Achor is a friend. He's a New York Times bestselling author of the Happiness Advantage and Big Potential. His happiness advantage training is one of the largest and most successful positive psychology training programs in the world. And he's here today to give you the most beautiful metaphor about happiness and to let you know that there's always more happiness available to you. In fact, way more than you think. Here's Sean Aker giving you a major reframe on how to think about happiness.We get so focused upon whether or not a glass is half full or half empty. Then we decide our happiness based upon that optimism or pessimism. But I've always had this idea, this picture in my head of we're so focused on this glass being half or half empty but ignoring that there's a picture of water sitting right next to it that we could fill it up with. When we do these habits and when we care for and let other people in, we're filling up that glass, and that glass does not look like it did the day before.That's great, Sean. Why don't you walk through the four habits that everybody should try for 21 days?We get people to write down each day for two minutes three new things that they're grateful for that have occurred over the past 24 hours. And we don't let them repeat for 21 days in a row, so that it's not what you're grateful for. The matter is the scanning. We also got people to go on a 15 minutes brisk walk four to five times a week, which we found is the equivalent of taking an antidepressant for the first six months, for the next two years as a 30% lower relapse rate back to that depressed state. We find that if you take your hands off your keyboard for two minutes today and just watch your breath go in and out, you're training your brain to do one thing at a time. And 21 days later, not only your accuracy rates improving by 10%, but levels of happiness rise. Stress levels drop, and the cortisol levels of the people that are around you change. So their stress levels are dropping as well. So you're literally changing other people's biochemical patterns based upon your habits. And finally, we've got people to write a two minute positive email each day praising or thanking one new person, a different person, each day for 21 days in a row.So just thanking them for something or praising them for something, a weak tire or strong tire. But 21 days later, we find that it dramatically improves the greatest predictor of your long term levels of happiness. Happiness, which is your social connection score.Boom. That's not just the happiness advantage, people. Those are the happiness actions. And I'm telling you, based on the research, you got to do it. I always say, sean, this is not just a listening podcast. So do those things for 21 days, and I think you will be shocked at how the needle moves. Can you just bottom line what somebody should do right now? Now, to tap into this concept of happiness and joy, accept where you are.Right now, but realize that this is not the end of the story. So I believe that change is radically possible from our genes and environment. When we change our mindset and change our behavior and we link in with other people as well.I believe that incredible change is possible, too. And what you're learning today is your brain is just waiting for you to give it a nudge in the right direction. It wants you to take care of it and feed it the right foods and help it learn new skills. That's what it's made for. And after our conversation today, you now have the tools to get started. I promised you that absolutely everything that you learned today would help you build a better, sharper, stronger, and happier brain. I truly hope that everything that you learned from these six extraordinary experts not only empowers you, but they've motivated you to put it to use in your own life, because I see a bigger possibility for you. And the second you start taking better care of your brain, you'll see it, too. In case no one else tells you today, I wanted to tell you that I love you, and I believe in you, and I believe in your power to create a better life. And what you've learned today is that a better life begins with taking better care of your brain. And after everything that you've learned, you now know exactly what to do to do that.Alrighty. I'll talk to you in a few days. Okay. Did the light just change? No, the clouds passed and the room tone changed, so I don't know if there was anything that. It doesn't matter to me. S u a v e. Say it. Use it. Ask a question using their name. Visual. Shit. Welcome back. It's your friend Mel Robbins, and you and I are talking about the sexiest organ in your brain. And I believe in the power that you have to change your life, your brain. Hold on a second. What's happening here? Okay. Okay. Sorry. Ooh, I guess I'm not happy about that. My throat. Okay. Oh, and one more thing. And no, this is not a blooper. This is the legal language. You know, what the lawyers write and what I need to read to you. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. I'm just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I'll see you in the next episode.Stitcher.When you're really not feeling well or if you're in pain, getting medical treatment without delay is what matters to you. At Matter private network in Dublin, our emergency department is open Monday to Saturday, 08:00 a.m. i. A. M. To 07:00 p.m. you can quickly access expert medical care from our consultant led team, and no appointment is necessary. See matterprivate ie for details on getting the emergency care you need as soon as possible. Matter private network emergency department Dublin over 16s only.

all day? You're just not good enough, or no one's gonna want me, or no one's gonna want you. We're talking to ourselves, and it's painting with a very, very broad brush that is really kind of striking to the core. It's hard to argue with something like that because it's so pervasive. So instead of arguing with it, the idea is to recognize it and reject it.

How do you do that?

Going through and exploring some of that when we can reflect on, get a handle on, wait, what is going on inside of me? And it starts with curiosity. I think the starting place is always just a curiosity about ourselves. And a lot of times, just as a person doesn't want to go look at the trauma, why do I want to go look at that thing that makes me nervous or that works very strongly against our curiosity about ourselves? And if we are sort of free to be curious about ourselves, it's not dangerous or threatening to be curious about ourselves. There's so much, much that we can learn. So just an example can be, what does my self talk like? What do I say to myself in quiet moments? What do I say to myself if I do something wrong? What do I say to myself if I drop something? What do I say to myself if I approach a new social situation or a new challenge, then now we start to put words to things. When we put it outside of us, it's different. Which is why, if we're talking to someone that can make a difference, a trusted other, about, hey, I was thinking about, you know, like, I'm saying this to myself over and over.

I realize it's been going on in me for years. Can we say that to someone else? Or can we write it, you know, writing it down, journaling can make a big difference in that way. And the talking to another person can involve a therapist. So I very often will want people to understand we can change this, right. But it's going to take us, I'm not sure. I might say, you know, it's probably going to be in the four to six month range. We can really get our arms around this. And I want and hope that things can start improving a couple weeks down the road. But it's a several month process. Like, let the person know that because so often there's just a reflex that says, hey, somebody threw a medicine at you, right? And that medicine's supposed to make you better, right? Let alone if it's like a couple therapy sessions. And that's supposed to make a person better. We need a rational framing for what's going on inside of us and, and to plot out how do we actually get to change?

You know, one of the things that I love about Doctor Conti is that don't you just trust him? Like, I don't know if it's tone of his voice or just the way he explains things, but he's so honest and realistic. And if you try this strategy once and then you don't feel good immediately, you're going to give up. And so I think it's super important that you understand that, yeah, you're going to feel better within weeks. It'll really stick within months. But this is something that you can do every single day that's super fast and simple, that's going to have a big impact. And that's sort of like all the advice from every single doctor and medical expert on the show today, that there is this hope that's underlying all of it. That, yes, you can build a better brain. And based on what you just learned from Doctor Conte, that if you truly practice this every single day, just like you brush your teeth every single day, within a few months, you can heal this pattern of negative self talk and clean your brain, make it more positive. You know, in fact, it reminds me of our son Oakley.

He's going to kill me for telling you this. But in elementary school, he literally barely brushed his teeth. I mean, we used to beg him, dude, you got to brush your teeth. And his older sisters, they would tease him about it because they were like, dude, your teeth are like yellow and disgusting. And then all of a sudden it was like, I don't know if it was middle school or what. He just decided that it mattered to him to take care of his teeth. And all it took was a couple months of daily brushing. And all of a sudden, he's got the brightest, cleanest, most beautiful choppers you've ever seen. Doctor Conti is here to say, your brain works the same way. You can clean it up, you can make it brighter and more positive. And it just goes to show you that every single one of these experts has told you your brain can change. And when you change the way you talk to yourself, you clean up that self talk. You literally open a door to an entirely new world. And I so want that for you. Well, Doctor Conti was far from done when we had him on the podcast.

And there was something else that I really wanted you to hear. And it's all about why we have these patterns of self sabotage. And I think you will find this metaphor that Doctor Conti and I discuss so helpful. As you make it your mission to stop your negative self talk too.

We can start feeling better, doing better, emboldening ourselves, just by doing small, nice things for ourselves and for other people. It may sound trite, but it is not to a good hand. Say if you're in that line at the coffee shop and somebody drops something to pick it up for them, or to give them a smile, or do something nicer for ourselves, because we often self punish and just walk that distance in the rain, instead of putting an umbrella up, we do a lot of these things to ourselves where we could just in the moment, just be nicer to ourselves, more considerate to ourselves and to others. And that starts empowering and emboldening us to do that. To see there's enough good in me that I can give somebody a smile, I can give somebody a helping hand, or I can even be a little nicer to myself. And it may sound small or trite, but I promise that it is not. And it's often that that gets the ball rolling towards something maybe more difficult, like looking at something that I know is on my mind a lot, but I've been scared to look at.

I think we can start in simple ways. Simple goodness to self and others.

Yes. That example of putting an umbrella up was so poignant, because I think of how many times I've had an umbrella and I've just been like, no, it's okay, I carry the umbrella, I walk a couple blocks, I pop my collar, I start a hunch down and I take the drops. And that moment where you stop and put up the umbrella, it is important. And I keep thinking about this visual of the raindrops being like the negative of beatdown and the act of popping up the umbrella as a way to just have yourself not have to hear it.

I really do love that because, you know, sometimes we'll say I, to hell with it. You know, like, but like the idea I get the umbrella out, but to hell with it. No, no, that's actually to hell with me. So we want to stop and think. Like, what am I really thinking? To hell with me. I'm not worth getting the umbrella out. Right? And it's, it's awareness. Like, I know I'm going to stop and I'm going to do that. I'm not going to say the hell with it. To hell with me. I'm going to, I'm going to make some protection. Just you make a little more pleasantness or anything positive for myself. And I love that way of then the umbrella is shielding us from the negativity because we've had the wherewithal inside of ourselves to do something small but meaningful for ourselves. Yeah, I think that's a powerful way to move that example forward. I like that.

I just love that. I want you to keep that image of an umbrella in your mind when you're training your brain to cheer you on rather than beating you down. I mean, it's so powerful and it's going to help you stay curious like Doctor Conti suggested, as you examine those thoughts so you can let them go. And when you change your self talk, you will be a happier person. And on that topic, our next expert says that one of the most important things your brain can do for you is help you be happier. I mean, that is a superpower that is right in your brain that you are about to learn today. And that's why I'm so excited about this. Next expert. Sean Achor is a friend. He's a New York Times bestselling author of the Happiness Advantage and Big Potential. His happiness advantage training is one of the largest and most successful positive psychology training programs in the world. And he's here today to give you the most beautiful metaphor about happiness and to let you know that there's always more happiness available to you. In fact, way more than you think. Here's Sean Aker giving you a major reframe on how to think about happiness.

We get so focused upon whether or not a glass is half full or half empty. Then we decide our happiness based upon that optimism or pessimism. But I've always had this idea, this picture in my head of we're so focused on this glass being half or half empty but ignoring that there's a picture of water sitting right next to it that we could fill it up with. When we do these habits and when we care for and let other people in, we're filling up that glass, and that glass does not look like it did the day before.

That's great, Sean. Why don't you walk through the four habits that everybody should try for 21 days?

We get people to write down each day for two minutes three new things that they're grateful for that have occurred over the past 24 hours. And we don't let them repeat for 21 days in a row, so that it's not what you're grateful for. The matter is the scanning. We also got people to go on a 15 minutes brisk walk four to five times a week, which we found is the equivalent of taking an antidepressant for the first six months, for the next two years as a 30% lower relapse rate back to that depressed state. We find that if you take your hands off your keyboard for two minutes today and just watch your breath go in and out, you're training your brain to do one thing at a time. And 21 days later, not only your accuracy rates improving by 10%, but levels of happiness rise. Stress levels drop, and the cortisol levels of the people that are around you change. So their stress levels are dropping as well. So you're literally changing other people's biochemical patterns based upon your habits. And finally, we've got people to write a two minute positive email each day praising or thanking one new person, a different person, each day for 21 days in a row.

So just thanking them for something or praising them for something, a weak tire or strong tire. But 21 days later, we find that it dramatically improves the greatest predictor of your long term levels of happiness. Happiness, which is your social connection score.

Boom. That's not just the happiness advantage, people. Those are the happiness actions. And I'm telling you, based on the research, you got to do it. I always say, sean, this is not just a listening podcast. So do those things for 21 days, and I think you will be shocked at how the needle moves. Can you just bottom line what somebody should do right now? Now, to tap into this concept of happiness and joy, accept where you are.

Right now, but realize that this is not the end of the story. So I believe that change is radically possible from our genes and environment. When we change our mindset and change our behavior and we link in with other people as well.

I believe that incredible change is possible, too. And what you're learning today is your brain is just waiting for you to give it a nudge in the right direction. It wants you to take care of it and feed it the right foods and help it learn new skills. That's what it's made for. And after our conversation today, you now have the tools to get started. I promised you that absolutely everything that you learned today would help you build a better, sharper, stronger, and happier brain. I truly hope that everything that you learned from these six extraordinary experts not only empowers you, but they've motivated you to put it to use in your own life, because I see a bigger possibility for you. And the second you start taking better care of your brain, you'll see it, too. In case no one else tells you today, I wanted to tell you that I love you, and I believe in you, and I believe in your power to create a better life. And what you've learned today is that a better life begins with taking better care of your brain. And after everything that you've learned, you now know exactly what to do to do that.

Alrighty. I'll talk to you in a few days. Okay. Did the light just change? No, the clouds passed and the room tone changed, so I don't know if there was anything that. It doesn't matter to me. S u a v e. Say it. Use it. Ask a question using their name. Visual. Shit. Welcome back. It's your friend Mel Robbins, and you and I are talking about the sexiest organ in your brain. And I believe in the power that you have to change your life, your brain. Hold on a second. What's happening here? Okay. Okay. Sorry. Ooh, I guess I'm not happy about that. My throat. Okay. Oh, and one more thing. And no, this is not a blooper. This is the legal language. You know, what the lawyers write and what I need to read to you. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. I'm just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I'll see you in the next episode.

Stitcher.

When you're really not feeling well or if you're in pain, getting medical treatment without delay is what matters to you. At Matter private network in Dublin, our emergency department is open Monday to Saturday, 08:00 a.m. i. A. M. To 07:00 p.m. you can quickly access expert medical care from our consultant led team, and no appointment is necessary. See matterprivate ie for details on getting the emergency care you need as soon as possible. Matter private network emergency department Dublin over 16s only.