Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast. There are going to be times in your life when you wake up and wonder, have I messed it all up? Periods in your life, you know, that just suck, where you've made a major mistake, you feel a lot of regret. Maybe you're still there mentally right now, or maybe someone that you love is going through a really low period in their life when you're struggling. It begs the question, can you really overcome any failure or any pain or regret or mistake that you've made in your life? And if I were to tell you that there's absolutely no mistake that will keep you from becoming who you're truly meant to be, would you actually believe me? Well, after today, you will, because youre about to meet a remarkably inspiring person who has been knocked down over and over and over again. And she knows the secret to getting back up, to finding your power, even when you feel powerless. When you were little, you once thought anything was possible. This episode today will remind you it still is, because there is nothing that youve done that will stand in the way of who you want to become.

Hey, it's your friend Mel, and I am so excited for our conversation today, and I'm so grateful that I get to spend some time together with you. It's always an honor to be here with you. And I also want to acknowledge you for choosing to listen to something that is going to help you see a bigger potential for your life. And if you're a new listener, welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast family. I am so glad that you're here, and I'm so glad that you're here in particular right now, today to listen to this, because there is a person in our Boston studios right now who I have been wanting to meet for years, and she has carved out time in her extraordinarily busy schedule to hop on a plane to fly to Boston and to be here. You want to know why? Because she has a word or two shed like to say to you. She says its time to get rid of the poison thats between your ears that you listen to every day. And shes going to teach you how to make a meal out of the leftovers that life has given you.

So if youre tired of regrets holding you back, and if youre sick of beating yourself up over the mistakes that youve made today, you're going to learn how to pick yourself back up and take that big old pile of leftovers from life and turn it into a five star meal. You know, I always say no one's coming. But today, someone special is here, the one and only Sarah Jakes Roberts. And Sarah is a force to be reckoned with. She's on a mission to empower you. And millions of people follow her online. They tune into her weekly sermons, which are a mix of wisdom, storytelling, inspiration, and truth bombs. She is a philanthropist, a pastor, and an international bestselling author. Her latest book, power moves, was an instant New York Times bestseller. And she is going to be an instant favorite human being of yours. Because what I love the most about Sarah is that she may be on the stage and preaching from the pulpit, but she's not there above you, just like me. She is right there beside you. And you're going to hear how life has very publicly knocked her down. She's here today to remind you of who you are and how to pick yourself back up and make something amazing with the life that you have.

Sarah Jakes Roberts I'm so excited to get to spend some time with you.

Thank you. I'm looking forward to it.

So I would love to have you start by talking directly to the person who's listening and share with them what they can expect to experience and learn from you today. Like, how might their life change if they take everything that you're about to share to heart?

I would say today you are going to learn to rest in the truth of who you are.saw their reaction that I began to realize that this is bigger than just, you're in trouble. This is a life altering experience that has created grief in our family. And I think that seeing their grief, seeing them struggle with what it means to have a child that's having a child, made me realize that whatever just took place here has changed my life forever.And it's interesting that you, in reflecting back, can say my immediate reaction was one of going, oh, well, there are those kind of people over there that are the godly church people. I'm always going to be over here. What was that journey like over those ten years where you were wrestling with that natural instinct that we all have, that we separate? We don't see ourselves as connected to other people. We push back against the love that's coming at us or the support that's coming at us? How did you even move through that?So I started off comparison, so I'm not like them. So let me figure out who I am, like. And so I would say, you know what? I kind of feel like I'm close to this kind of girl, so I'll be that kind of girl. And then I got with those kind of girls. I'm like, I don't exactly fit here, so let me go here. And I thought maybe achievement, maybe success, maybe relationships. I can be like whoever this other girl is supposed to be, and then I will try and find myself. And I think as long as I was trying to be like some other version of someone, that I never had an opportunity to figure out who I was. And so for ten years, I was trying on, like Cinderella, trying on different shoes. Like, I was just trying going shoe after shoe after shoe until I said, you know what? I'm going to be barefoot. Who needs shoes? You know, I'm a country girl from West Virginia. I'm going to be barefoot. I'm going to stand flat footed. The truth of who I am, I'm going to stand flat footed in this. Maybe it is isolation.Maybe it is loneliness. Maybe I don't fit anywhere. Maybe I just fit within myself. And from that space I said, you know what? I've tried literally everything. I have waitress at a strip club. I've tried these toxic relationships. I've gone to school. I worked for the government. I tried everything. I said, you know what? I'm going to try faith. I'm going to try and figure out if this God, who they talk about, who loves you no matter what. Like, I'm going to see if maybe any moment, no matter how, you know, humiliating it may feel on the surface and say, you know what? This is my truth, and I got to step into it. Confidence is not about how I look. Confidence is about who I am on the inside and being able to hold on to that.Amazing. And what I got. As you were telling the wig story.Yeah.Is that power was moving through you.Yeah.So you took the authenticity, the resilience, and the humility.Yeah.And you just let that flow through you.For sure. First of all.So what happened, child?Okay.I got to know.Now, listen. Okay.I'll tell you my most embarrassing story about a stage, and then you tell me your. Well, I've got two kind of.So, first of all, we're gonna have a lesson in wigs, right? Okay, so not my hair. Right. So not. It's not attached to anything. Right. And so when it's on like this, it's fine. Right. But when you start to do in ponytails, there's a certain level of anchoring that you want to have. You want to sew it into some braids, you want to glue it down real good. And she had sewed it on, but she didn't sew deep enough into the braids. It was just sewed onto the wig captain. So the weight of the ponytails hold the wig cap. Oh, and, girl, you know, I don't sit through an hour and a half of hair and makeup for my wig to come off. So, you know, I'm sitting there and someone's like, you know, I. This is black church. Right? So we're talking to one another. They're clapping. Like, you know, I've gone to some spaces. It's pretty quiet. People are just receiving. You know, we're having a conversation. It's not uncommon for people, like, waving their hands up in the air. But then I saw this one. She was, like, pulling. She was,that you like that they have dust on them because it makes it harder for you to see them. And I would tell you to dust those ingredients off, to put them out on the counter, and to start dreaming.What are your parting words?Secure your wig.I love you.I love you.And thank you for being with Sarah, Jakes Roberts and me today. I wanted to be sure to tell you, in case no one else does, that I love you, and I know Sarah loves you, too, for sure. And we believe in you. And open up the cabinet and go cook up a frickin five star meal, and I'll talk to you in a few days. There was a lot in that.I know. That's why I had to write the book. I was like, this is, this feels worthy of unpacking. I don't. Writing 60,000 words is, you know, it's. Oh, you don't?I'm in the middle of writing my next book. I need a nap.I'm praying for you. Cause it's not like you just write.Can you please double down on the prayer? I don't think you're praying hard enough. I would get on a plane for you.I will feed you as long as.I get a blanket and a nap.Girl, I will give you the best blanket you've ever had. It'll be down, it'll have feathers. In it, you'll be spitting feathers out of your mouth.Oh, and one more thing. And no, this is not a blooper. This is the legal language. You know what the lawyers write and what I need to read to you. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. I'm just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I'll see you in the next episode. Stitcher.

saw their reaction that I began to realize that this is bigger than just, you're in trouble. This is a life altering experience that has created grief in our family. And I think that seeing their grief, seeing them struggle with what it means to have a child that's having a child, made me realize that whatever just took place here has changed my life forever.

And it's interesting that you, in reflecting back, can say my immediate reaction was one of going, oh, well, there are those kind of people over there that are the godly church people. I'm always going to be over here. What was that journey like over those ten years where you were wrestling with that natural instinct that we all have, that we separate? We don't see ourselves as connected to other people. We push back against the love that's coming at us or the support that's coming at us? How did you even move through that?

So I started off comparison, so I'm not like them. So let me figure out who I am, like. And so I would say, you know what? I kind of feel like I'm close to this kind of girl, so I'll be that kind of girl. And then I got with those kind of girls. I'm like, I don't exactly fit here, so let me go here. And I thought maybe achievement, maybe success, maybe relationships. I can be like whoever this other girl is supposed to be, and then I will try and find myself. And I think as long as I was trying to be like some other version of someone, that I never had an opportunity to figure out who I was. And so for ten years, I was trying on, like Cinderella, trying on different shoes. Like, I was just trying going shoe after shoe after shoe until I said, you know what? I'm going to be barefoot. Who needs shoes? You know, I'm a country girl from West Virginia. I'm going to be barefoot. I'm going to stand flat footed. The truth of who I am, I'm going to stand flat footed in this. Maybe it is isolation.

Maybe it is loneliness. Maybe I don't fit anywhere. Maybe I just fit within myself. And from that space I said, you know what? I've tried literally everything. I have waitress at a strip club. I've tried these toxic relationships. I've gone to school. I worked for the government. I tried everything. I said, you know what? I'm going to try faith. I'm going to try and figure out if this God, who they talk about, who loves you no matter what. Like, I'm going to see if maybe any moment, no matter how, you know, humiliating it may feel on the surface and say, you know what? This is my truth, and I got to step into it. Confidence is not about how I look. Confidence is about who I am on the inside and being able to hold on to that.Amazing. And what I got. As you were telling the wig story.Yeah.Is that power was moving through you.Yeah.So you took the authenticity, the resilience, and the humility.Yeah.And you just let that flow through you.For sure. First of all.So what happened, child?Okay.I got to know.Now, listen. Okay.I'll tell you my most embarrassing story about a stage, and then you tell me your. Well, I've got two kind of.So, first of all, we're gonna have a lesson in wigs, right? Okay, so not my hair. Right. So not. It's not attached to anything. Right. And so when it's on like this, it's fine. Right. But when you start to do in ponytails, there's a certain level of anchoring that you want to have. You want to sew it into some braids, you want to glue it down real good. And she had sewed it on, but she didn't sew deep enough into the braids. It was just sewed onto the wig captain. So the weight of the ponytails hold the wig cap. Oh, and, girl, you know, I don't sit through an hour and a half of hair and makeup for my wig to come off. So, you know, I'm sitting there and someone's like, you know, I. This is black church. Right? So we're talking to one another. They're clapping. Like, you know, I've gone to some spaces. It's pretty quiet. People are just receiving. You know, we're having a conversation. It's not uncommon for people, like, waving their hands up in the air. But then I saw this one. She was, like, pulling. She was,that you like that they have dust on them because it makes it harder for you to see them. And I would tell you to dust those ingredients off, to put them out on the counter, and to start dreaming.What are your parting words?Secure your wig.I love you.I love you.And thank you for being with Sarah, Jakes Roberts and me today. I wanted to be sure to tell you, in case no one else does, that I love you, and I know Sarah loves you, too, for sure. And we believe in you. And open up the cabinet and go cook up a frickin five star meal, and I'll talk to you in a few days. There was a lot in that.I know. That's why I had to write the book. I was like, this is, this feels worthy of unpacking. I don't. Writing 60,000 words is, you know, it's. Oh, you don't?I'm in the middle of writing my next book. I need a nap.I'm praying for you. Cause it's not like you just write.Can you please double down on the prayer? I don't think you're praying hard enough. I would get on a plane for you.I will feed you as long as.I get a blanket and a nap.Girl, I will give you the best blanket you've ever had. It'll be down, it'll have feathers. In it, you'll be spitting feathers out of your mouth.Oh, and one more thing. And no, this is not a blooper. This is the legal language. You know what the lawyers write and what I need to read to you. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. I'm just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I'll see you in the next episode. Stitcher.

any moment, no matter how, you know, humiliating it may feel on the surface and say, you know what? This is my truth, and I got to step into it. Confidence is not about how I look. Confidence is about who I am on the inside and being able to hold on to that.

Amazing. And what I got. As you were telling the wig story.

Yeah.

Is that power was moving through you.

Yeah.

So you took the authenticity, the resilience, and the humility.

Yeah.

And you just let that flow through you.

For sure. First of all.

So what happened, child?

Okay.

I got to know.

Now, listen. Okay.

I'll tell you my most embarrassing story about a stage, and then you tell me your. Well, I've got two kind of.

So, first of all, we're gonna have a lesson in wigs, right? Okay, so not my hair. Right. So not. It's not attached to anything. Right. And so when it's on like this, it's fine. Right. But when you start to do in ponytails, there's a certain level of anchoring that you want to have. You want to sew it into some braids, you want to glue it down real good. And she had sewed it on, but she didn't sew deep enough into the braids. It was just sewed onto the wig captain. So the weight of the ponytails hold the wig cap. Oh, and, girl, you know, I don't sit through an hour and a half of hair and makeup for my wig to come off. So, you know, I'm sitting there and someone's like, you know, I. This is black church. Right? So we're talking to one another. They're clapping. Like, you know, I've gone to some spaces. It's pretty quiet. People are just receiving. You know, we're having a conversation. It's not uncommon for people, like, waving their hands up in the air. But then I saw this one. She was, like, pulling. She was,that you like that they have dust on them because it makes it harder for you to see them. And I would tell you to dust those ingredients off, to put them out on the counter, and to start dreaming.What are your parting words?Secure your wig.I love you.I love you.And thank you for being with Sarah, Jakes Roberts and me today. I wanted to be sure to tell you, in case no one else does, that I love you, and I know Sarah loves you, too, for sure. And we believe in you. And open up the cabinet and go cook up a frickin five star meal, and I'll talk to you in a few days. There was a lot in that.I know. That's why I had to write the book. I was like, this is, this feels worthy of unpacking. I don't. Writing 60,000 words is, you know, it's. Oh, you don't?I'm in the middle of writing my next book. I need a nap.I'm praying for you. Cause it's not like you just write.Can you please double down on the prayer? I don't think you're praying hard enough. I would get on a plane for you.I will feed you as long as.I get a blanket and a nap.Girl, I will give you the best blanket you've ever had. It'll be down, it'll have feathers. In it, you'll be spitting feathers out of your mouth.Oh, and one more thing. And no, this is not a blooper. This is the legal language. You know what the lawyers write and what I need to read to you. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. I'm just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I'll see you in the next episode. Stitcher.

that you like that they have dust on them because it makes it harder for you to see them. And I would tell you to dust those ingredients off, to put them out on the counter, and to start dreaming.

What are your parting words?

Secure your wig.

I love you.

I love you.

And thank you for being with Sarah, Jakes Roberts and me today. I wanted to be sure to tell you, in case no one else does, that I love you, and I know Sarah loves you, too, for sure. And we believe in you. And open up the cabinet and go cook up a frickin five star meal, and I'll talk to you in a few days. There was a lot in that.

I know. That's why I had to write the book. I was like, this is, this feels worthy of unpacking. I don't. Writing 60,000 words is, you know, it's. Oh, you don't?

I'm in the middle of writing my next book. I need a nap.

I'm praying for you. Cause it's not like you just write.

Can you please double down on the prayer? I don't think you're praying hard enough. I would get on a plane for you.

I will feed you as long as.

I get a blanket and a nap.

Girl, I will give you the best blanket you've ever had. It'll be down, it'll have feathers. In it, you'll be spitting feathers out of your mouth.

Oh, and one more thing. And no, this is not a blooper. This is the legal language. You know what the lawyers write and what I need to read to you. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. I'm just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I'll see you in the next episode. Stitcher.