Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to The Toast, and a happy Monday. Like... You know? You know?

Yes, but it's a necessary step on our way to summer law.

It's a necessary step on our way to summer law.

Even thinking small picture, it's our necessary step on the way to the latter half of the week, on the way to the weekend.

Yeah, you have to start somewhere, and Monday is a really good place to start. You know? Romeo's in studio. Jack's in clerk are back in their remote setup. Yeah, that's right. I have fled the Southern border, and I'm back, back, back in the New York groove.

How's Romeo? What brings him to the studio today? He just got that work bug?

He was just mulling around the house looking bored. And there came a time in Theo's life where he came to work with me every single day. I thought, maybe let's see how it goes. When I podcasted on Friday with Romeo in your studio. Your physical studio is so small. There's nowhere he can go or hide or pee or poop that I can't see. This place, we've got nooks, crannies, a kitchen, tables. We've got a lot going on here.

More than a pee and a poop, Romeo is a chewer.

Yeah, he could chew through these cords.

A cord is extra chewy for a row.

That's a problem. No. And this place, I actually been meaning to go through some of the equipment we have lying around because a lot of it's old. We've got curds for days.

Yeah. Well, curds is Kords.

Kord. Kordy Kord.

Kord Over Street.

Oh, my God. Thank you.

Kord Over Street walked so Glenn Powell could run.

You know what? I actually completely agree. And I love that you brought that up. And I think that the two of them are really good friends. And I think that they would agree with that, too.

Were they in something together? Why do I associate them as each other?

Because they're best friends. I don't know if they were in anything together.

I just have an association.

Well, you better associate, girl. The Corn and Glen.

The Corn and Glen Association.

I have an association of misery with days like today. It's just a Monday. I had such a fabulous week at your house. I miss you. I miss the food. I miss the family. I'm happy to be home, of course. There's nothing like sleeping in your own bed. But it's not the same.

No, it's not. But I hope you're holding on to the hope that we'll be together again soon. Now, I just have to do some admin, start packing, really getting excited for the summer, and at least that's on the horizon. And last week was not even in the plan, so we just have to be thankful for the time that we did have. Smile because it happened, don't cry because it's over.

That's just so not who I am.

I know. I know, but it doesn't stop me from trying.

I wanted to ask you a question.

Okay, good thing we have an hour long podcast to talk about whatever we want.

Jackie, do you know who Chapel Roan is? No. Okay. I just was so curious if you knew who that was. She's a rising singer. She's having a really big moment on the talk, but I wasn't sure if it had penetrated beyond the talk.

Chapel Roan? Mm-hmm. Like, R-O-N-E? R-o-a-n. Okay. What singer?

Well, she's the current opener for Olivia Rodrigo.

Okay.

She She's a singer. I don't know. I actually don't know much about her. I know this. H-o-t-t-o-g-o. I know that little dance. But I only remark on it because this weekend was Governor's Ball, who knew? And she was one of the performers, and so was Sabrina Carpenter. I was just laughing because it's literally not to keep pitting women against women, but between Olivia Rodrigo and Taylor Swift beefing so hard, now they're openers. They're both having a moment at the same time. I think a lot of people For me, I only heard about Chaperone when she opened for Olivia Rodrigo. That was an introduction to her for me. And for Sabrina Carpenter, I think a lot of people found out about Sabrina Carpenter because she opened for Taylor Swift. So I was just giggling about the never-ending feud in my mind, and also in reality. We can pretend.

That's so interesting because to me, the feud is between Olivia and Sabrina. I don't think of Olivia and Taylor's feud as the number one feud in Olivia's life.

I do.

You might be right, but I'm I'm still here. I'm still at Skin, listening to Streaming Skin by Sabrina Carpenter. We know.

We literally know. Actually, I think we need to start a list for you.

Of things that...

Like your favorite stories or favorite things that you'd like to mind people about. And one of them is that you always liked skin before Sabrina had a moment.

I always liked Sabrina.

Yeah, but specifically the bomb that was.

No, and I feel like everyone just dismissed skin because it could never be driver's license.

No, you need to add this.

But they weren't listening.

Yeah.

You need to add it. You need to... I can't self-list.

Oh, really? But you're the keeper of the list.

I know, but it's on you to hold me accountable. And every time you notice a pattern- Okay, it's going to have to stay up here. Oh, so it's gone.

I can't make a list physically. That's not who I am. Gone, but not forgotten. That isn't who I am.

Okay. No, I can't keep lists about myself. I feel like that's too self-involved.

Okay. Well, then we won't. Bye-bye. So I just really wanted to know if Jackie knew who Chapel Roon was.

Nope. Never heard of her. Her?

Yes.

Never heard.

In the middle of the night.

It doesn't mean anything. Maybe I'll hear about her soon, and I'll be glad that I did.

Maybe one of her fan accounts will start an Instagram Reels account.

Perhaps, or maybe Spotify will decide to platform this artist, or that I, based on the things I like, including Skin by Sabrina Carpenter, that I would like Chapel Roon.

Check it out.

It's on Spotify to do what they do.

It's so true.

I mean, you put a lot of faith in that algorithm. And surface new artist for me.

In that algorithm. Yeah.

It's kept me going through the years. I am where I am in my music knowledge because of Spotify, and I like the music that I listen to. Except I actually think, as we've stated, it's dropping off because I have nothing to listen to. No, well, I listen to- And what's so crazy. Here's what's so crazy. Oh my God, what? Here's what's so sick. How many years in a row has Luke Holmes been my number one artist on Spotify? Since he was born. Too many to count. Every year, he puts out an album, he's my number one. I think Spotify can understand he's my favorite artist. So on Friday, I go to my release Radar playlist. That's all the new songs curated for me. And his song wasn't number one.

Which one I was.

I think, no offense, no shade, no hate, but Keith Urban or something. I've never ran to Keith Urban's new music.

No, I don't think that I have either.

I think it's a conspiracy.

You think the industry is actively working against Lou Luke Holmes?

Yeah, Luke Holmes was number three. Here are the industry plans that are being paid, that Spotify is paying off. One, Keith Urban with Carly Scott- Collins. They wrote a song. And two, Becky G, Louisa Sanz. I do love Becky G, but that's not... No.

Nobody on the planet has a more eclectic taste in music than Jackie, Becky G and Lou Holmes.

You can't put me in a box.

No, you truly cannot. Yeah. Okay, It's giving...

It's giving to Sada. I have to say, I did my book signing yesterday at Books & Books, and it was such a swirly affair. It was just a gorgeous Sunday. The bookstore, it's a historic. It's a landmark building. It was a really It was a beautiful venue, and the tosters just were out and about. Everyone in their Sunday scene was just looking so gorgeous and swirly, and we really had a nice time. But it was very much a tostada affair. And of course, all the tostadas made themselves known, sent their love to Claudia. Chismosa. But they told me... Oh, yeah. There was major chisme going on.

Chisme going on.

They told me that I was looking muy fina.

What? Skinny?

Oh, I wish. No, fine and elegant.

Honestly, better. Say it again. Fina?

Fina. F-i-n-a. Fine, but it means elegant and fina. Okay, that's a good one. That's a really good- So while you're out there being a chismosa, I'm being Fina.

I'm definitely out there being a chismosa. That's for sure.

That's for darn sure. Also, I'm sure you saw my story. Someone brought me a homemade sourdough.

Oh, no. I thought you were going to say somebody brought you a sweater that said chismosa on it, and I said, That's mine, right?

Yeah. It's a T-shirt. You're welcome to have it. So cute.

Well, actually, I packed a box of things that I needed to ship myself from your house, so I feel like I can just throw it in there.

And someone also gave me something else for you. I'll put it in the box. Put it in the box.

Well, we're not going to put you in a box.

Hells no.

Oh, I continued my journey of watching movies based on real events.

Zero Dark 30.

I watched Zero Dark Thirty and Erin Brockovich. I'd never seen Erin Brockovich. Isn't that weird?

Me neither.

I don't know if maybe I'm desensitized because I just watched like, Chernobyl. I just felt like something crazy was going to happen.

Like the level it wasn't enough corruption to be made a movie of, considering what you just watched.

No, and by the way, it was so crazy. They were literally poisoning this entire town of people. Everyone in this town was just sick, and it was a part of life. Like, Oh, yeah, she's got a tumor. Everyone just has cancer. And it turned out that the local plant where a lot of the people in the town worked was poisoning all these people in the water. So their swimming pools, their baths, showers, drinking water, everything. I don't know. I guess at the time, maybe it was crazy, but I'm so used to bureaucracy I was just like, okay.

Classic bureaucracy.

What do you expect?

That's really sad.

No, it's so pathetic. I also obviously wanted to watch it for the Tom Girardi of it all.

Who played Tom? Okay.

I wasn't 100% I went, Sure. Which character was supposed to be Tom?

It wasn't a Tom Girardi biopic?

No. Everybody in the movie had their regular names. Erin Brockovich's real name was Erin Brockovich. This lawyer's name was like... And nobody had the name Tom. They said he was a different lawyer brought in when I researched to help on the case, which there was a character at the end of the movie who was a different lawyer that they run. I seriously, I don't know who was Tom Girardi.

That's disappointing, especially. I know you were watching the whole thing to get to Tom, and then he's not even There's a lot of fun there. You know what?

I'm literally telling Ben all these fun facts that I know.

Well, I'm glad you now know the story of Erin Brockovich. That feels pertinent to the situation.

It does. Julia Roberts crushed it. But then I watched Zero Dark Thirty, which I have a lot of thoughts on. I know I'm 100 years late Because September 11th was 2001. We killed Osama in 2008, and it's 2024.

Nevertheless- I think it was 2011 or 2012. Whatever.

Oh, yeah. Obama was President. Nevertheless, I will recap my thoughts on the Osama killing.

Do you remember where you were? Do you remember where you were? Do you recap my thoughts?

Where was I? That's a good question. That's a moment you remember where you were.

I was in the library at college, and it's a very open library. The fifth floor can see down to the third floor, and it was I think it was Sunday night, so everyone was in library studying, and someone shouted out. No one would ever shout in the library. That's how big of a deal it was. Everyone was cheering.

What did they say?

I don't remember hearing the person who shouted. I just got the residual, They got Osama bin Laden, and then everyone was cheering. Maybe there was an anthem song, but maybe that's just how I- Oh, I chilled. No, no, no. That might be me- Remembering it that way. Remembering it with rose-colored glasses. But if you were there, let me know. Did we sing the anthem? I feel like we should have.

I feel like you definitely didn't.

I feel like we did.

I don't remember where I was, which is enormously disappointing. But let me tell you this. First of all, I had so many thoughts. Me and Ben were like, first of all, the movie is two and a half hours, and the last 45 minutes are an Oscar-winning movie in the first hour and a half or the most boring piece of shit you've ever seen in your life. But I guess we needed to lay the land like, Abu Abbas. How do we know?

I get it. Okay. It's like a 10-year manhunt, so it didn't just happen in 45 minutes.

That's why Jessica Chastain was nutty at the end of the movie because she had been through a lot. Here are my thoughts. My thoughts are so layered. Me and Ben kept saying, Is there going to be an actor? Is Osama going to be in the movie? Is there an actor who got cast as Osama? We were just waiting until they got him to see, was it just going to be the end of the movie? Boom.

Like Osama from the back or does Osama have personality?

Does Osama show face?

Yeah. Do we get Osama's POV?

Is Osama serving face in the film? He doesn't really They shoot him down, you don't really see. Then they wrap him in a body bag, and they're shooting him. Basically, there's a GoPro on his toe, and you just see his nose. I said to him, I'm like, Imagine this actor comes home and tells us, Mom, I got booked for a big Oscar-winning movie, and I'm playing the star because it's a movie about Osama bin Laden, and I am Osama. And literally, you just see his nose. I was cracking up so hard, so you don't really... Which I think was the right thing to do. I'm very tasteful. When it came to Osama. Now, I noticed so many crazy things. Obviously, terrorism is a huge theme in the movie, and it's also a huge theme in the daily fabric of our lives here. Over the weekend, this is the craziest thing that I noticed from the Over the weekend, obviously, fabulous news coming out of Israel. Israel did an operation, secret, whatever. They got four of their hostages back. Boom. Alive.

Amazing. Amazing. Which we were going to talk about, but I guess this colors your viewing of Zero Dark Thirty. Just wait.

And of course, one of the leading stories from this entire war was this beautiful young girl, Noah, that video of her on the back of the motorcycle being taken into Gaza by terrorists. It went viral. It was chilling. She's this beautiful young girl. Her mother is dying of cancer. We haven't heard, whatever. She was one of the people who gets rescued. And it comes out yesterday. She's now telling her story. She was held in the home, not of what you think a classic terrorist, no, like a civilian. He's a journalist, and he writes for Al Jazeera. He's been covering the war while having a hostage, legit locked up in his basement. In the movie, they are hunting down one of Osama's lead courier. They were calling If anybody needed to get a message to Osama, they would go to this guy. And when Jessica Chastain is looking for his house, they find it, and they're like, Why do you think he lived here? And he says, Because he needs to be close to the Al Jazeera office. So it's like Al Jazeera constantly being part of terrorist- Enmeshed in terrorism.

There's a track record. I think they have got a problem.

A hundred %. And I was like, Oh, my God, because I had just read Noah's story on Twitter, and I was like, Oh, okay. I'm sensing a theme. I'm It's not a sensing a theme.

Terrorist's mouthpiece.

Overall, I would say the movie, it really wasn't good. But once Chris Pratt's character and his band of army men, once they enter the film, two hours in, it's amazing. Up until that point, it's so dreadful. It's so gray. And watching people get tortured, seriously. Even though these are the worst human beings on the planet, they're terrorists who killed 3,000 people on 9/11, I still can't watch it.

Okay. I mean, yeah, I don't know what you expected. It's like a war movie. It's not going to be like a swirly affair.

No, I wasn't expecting a swirly affair by any means. I was expecting, I don't know, just maybe more entertaining. I don't know. It is still a movie.

Okay. Well, people really liked it. I liked it when I saw it. And overall, it's a good flick.

Oh, and then my biggest criticism is that at the end of the movie, when the screen turns black, it rolls straight to the credits. No black and white text about real-life facts, side-by-side photos of Jessica Chastain's character and the woman she played. If you're making a film based on real events, and at the end, you don't have a sum up of real-life affairs, it's going to be a zero for me.

Well, what's the sum up? And also, it wasn't that long after that it happened. When you get something from decades ago, there's more context. But it was a few years later, Osama's dead. I don't even think they could tell you who the real-life woman is, right? She's probably low-key.

Well, maybe we should have waited.

Was there more information you were looking for?

I don't know, but those end screen fun facts always color the story for me.

For sure. But I feel like now they could add more end screen facts, but they'd be incredibly depressing about what happened in Afghanistan.

Yeah.

So just turn on the news for the story.

That's just a hard and fast rule for me.

Got it.

That's the best part of any real life story.

Well, I'm glad you're continuing I'm on your journey of watching meaningful content. I am as well. I started The Valley again.

So meaningful.

So meaningful. I'm on episode three, and I'm in it. When I was watching the first episode, I was remembering why I stopped because it was just two Too corny and too try-hard of people wanting to be on reality TV and wanting their show to be good, so doing really crazy dumb stuff. But I'm past that hump now, and I'm liking some characters. I'm strongly I'm disliking some characters. I'm having feelings. The next episode look really good. So I'm involved and I'm excited about that.

Okay. I also caught up on Real Housewives of New Jersey. Of course, I didn't watch last night's episode because why would I ever be on top of things? But the news about the reunion really actually made me want to see what was going on. And I can see they haven't even had one event where everybody shows up. There are so many beefs. Obviously, you think Melissa and Theresa, they're just ignoring each other. It's not even that big of a deal. Other beefs where people seriously will not show up film with one another. The whole group has not been in the same room except maybe the baseball game. But that was such a big affair. It wasn't like a seated dinner.

The baseball game is my Christmas.

The baseball game is so funny.

We should go one year because it's open to the public. It's just, to me, the best thing I've ever seen on Bravo is that baseball game. I agree. The My Monies, Shaq or Dolores.

First of all, it's such a great cause, raising money for a hospital. Two, it's so funny because everybody gets really, really involved. The guys, obviously, but then the girls. It's hilarious because they don't know how to play. Then there's always drama there, too. It's really a fabulous installment in the series. Good on Dolores.

Good on Dolores, good on My Mondies, and good on the producers for always making sure we get it. We need our baseball game fit.

It's so funny. I remember cackling at the last one. This one wasn't as funny because, seriously, nobody will talk to each other. I'm really coming around- What's that saying, There's no what in baseball? Crying.

There you go.

I don't even want to share my New Jersey thoughts because I feel like they're so unpopular. But seriously, I'm obsessed with Rachel Fuda. I think everyone hates her. I think she is... First of all, I just found out she's 32. She's so brave. She just got into it with Theresa. She called her an old smelly hag. She really went for it. Everyone's so afraid of Theresa. I have to say, I know it's Monday. My answer will not change by Friday. The weanie of the week, the weanie-est to ever weanie of every week that ever existed is Jackie Goldschneider. She's being called out on it so hard, and I'm so glad. Danielle is like, Am I living in an alt? There was a time where, seriously, you two would have actually stabbed each other. If we had given you a knife, you would have... And now, Jackie's so fucking far up Theresa's ass. Oh my gosh. It's so loser-y. Because say what you want about Jackie, the way she came in and immediately didn't like Teresa and stood on that and was principled and it was unpopular, and it alienated her from a lot of people.

She's so desperate to be a full-time cast member. Remember, again, the desperation radiates through the screen. Her being so want to be friends with Teresa, seriously, I've never seen a grown woman act like such a loser in my life.

Wow. Okay. I'm going to watch once I'm caught up with The Valley. Yeah, I watch The Valley now.

Yeah, you're just a millennial.

It is very millennial, and it's funny. There is so much baby stuff, kids stuff. It was a show that was needed to get made because there's really nothing else like it of people in this stage of their lives.

When you're all caught up, you should now watch Kristenrish and Doty on The Good Guys podcast. She was on last week, starting major drama. Her and Lala fucking hate each other.

I'll watch that, but it's not looking good for me as a fan of Kristen. I don't think I'm a fan of Kristen. But I feel like she's one of those people who does things for the She's like, Jacks, where it's like, maybe in real life would love her, and we've met her, and she's so nice, and I'm sure it would be great lunch date. I feel that way about Jacks, but then he does things on the show, and I'm like, You're not my fave on the show. That's for sure.

Yeah, she definitely is an on-air producer. She's moving things around, making things work.

Yeah, same with Jacks. I respect it. It's their job as the people who are the temples for the show to make sure the show has a full season. But I don't like it, and it makes me sympathize with other people.

But I also think the way people felt at the beginning of the season really turns by the end. That's what I was hearing, especially as a routine. No spoilers.

I don't even know how people felt. I'm going in totally fine. I still don't even know what happened on Real House Eyes of Salt Lake City with that girl and the big moment. That's how much I put blinders on. I don't even know.

You don't know receipts timeline? No, I'm just saying the line, receipts timeline. No. That's really crazy. Jackie's also never seen a single video of the Aeros tour.

No, I've seen some videos, but not out, like footage. I've seen minute long clips at a time. I saw she perform crazier.

Let's talk about that.

Surprise song. You lift my feet off the ground, spin me around, you make me crazier, crazier. Except she sang it at a key, all the way down.

Yeah. So that is an original song Taylor Swift wrote. Before she famous. She was a guest star in the Hannah Montana movie on Disney channel, and she wrote a song for the movie's soundtrack, and she performed it in the movie. It's seriously one of her best songs. I don't know if it's on any of her albums. It's not. But when she performed it as a surprise song, I think a lot of people thought, Oh, maybe now it's a contender to be a secret song or just a song added to debut, especially because when Taylor sing that song, all the wristbands in the arena lit up green, which is the color people associate for debut.

Okay.

Yeah. Yeah.

Well, that would be cool.

Yeah.

I didn't know that. I just enjoyed the moment for what it was.

Yeah, which was amazing. I love that song.

And speaking of amazing moments this weekend, before we get into the stories, four hostages were rescued on Saturday in Israel, and it was the most amazing news. I couldn't stop- It was the most amazing news. The operation was so incredible against all odds. Really something that they would make a movie out of, but they won't because they're We're all Jew haters. But it's just amazing.

Seriously, when I saw the news, I was in the bed. Saturday was the best day of my life. You could not bring me down on Saturday. I was so happy. One, because Noah, I think it's just a story, a lot of our listeners and just She's our age. She's a girl.

She's at a music festival.

It felt so real and so relatable. It was also just an amazing story because the other three hostages were soldiers in the IDF, and they were never a part of any hostage deal because Hamas would never give back soldiers. They're more valuable prisoners of war than civilians.

But when they were kidnapped, they were civilians at a music festival, but they had been soldiers in their lives. Right.

They were just able-bodied men. And those people are never... They're always last on the list.

And we can't even get the first round of the hostage negotiations off the ground, let alone the last round, which would be men.

Now, in a shock to nobody, all the details that are coming out about where they were held and who they were held by doctors, civilians, quote unquote journalists who work for Al Jazeera.

Innocent civilians who hold hostages in their home and torture them.

Yeah. In a densely civilian populated area where organizations like Save the Children and UNICEF and UNRA all operate out of that town. It was no secret that these hostages were held there. Just be extremely mindful what Instagram campaigns you donate to because you You just never know.

But you do know if you just pay a little bit of attention and do things like, instead of making yourself feel good, like you donated and help someone, like when you're actually having the opposite effect.

Yeah. Noah's Home, those three delicious Jewish boys are home. Hashem is good. God bless the IDF. Like, obsessed. Best news ever. Everybody can eat my ass. Mark Ruffalo. I just know that Mark Ruffalo. I just I know that Mark Ruffalo saw four Jewish young lives saved, and his weekend was ruined. If my weekend was already off to a great start with that news, knowing Mark Ruffalo was crying, I can't really... And his Instagram statement was just so... He's like, It's great that they're back, but imagine if a ceasefire-Yeah, well, imagine if I had Diet Coke coming out of my pussy. We could all imagine fake things.

We would love ceasefire hostages back.

Why is he saying that?

Who are you talking to? Wait, who the fuck are you talking to? Are you Are you talking to Seignoir? Because otherwise, it makes no fucking sense.

I really, seriously, that curly-headed fuck hate. It's so funny. I literally hate you so fucking much. You better hope that I never run into you 'cause I'm going to throw your ass on the ground.

It's so funny who you just hate more than anyone who I hate so much. Everyone has their persons. Because not just...

No, Mark Ruffalo isn't responsible, but to me, he is.

No, but he's your number one. It's just funny.

And now, not to keep talking about Mark Ruffalo, but I have a little bit of a conspiracy theory when it comes to Mark Ruffalo. If I were to ask you how many followers you think Mark Ruffalo has on Instagram, how many would you say?

I feel like because of how you prefaced it, it's going to be way more than I would say, but a couple million, max 8 to 10.

20. Now, something is not adding up. This old ugly on the inside, ugly past his Prime actor. At his prime, Instagram wasn't a thing. No, seriously, I'm really spiraling. It doesn't make sense.

Yeah, Bot Farm.

It's giving Bot Farm. We know that so much of the pro-Hamas movement on social media is powered by Bot Farms, and I think Mark Ruffalo is a part of it, allegedly.

Mark Ruffalo has a Bot Farm. E-i-e-i-o. Oh, Mark.

Oh, Mark. Mark, you Mark.

It always comes back to Mark Ruffalo, but it also always comes back to the Fast Five Stories. And now I feel as though we can get into them.

We just give Romeo this bone.

Come here, gorgeous. That's a big bone for a little row.

It's supposed to Keep him busy the whole podcast so I can do my job properly.

And so that he doesn't chew the cord over the streets who reminds me of Glenn Powell. Exactly.

Or the Glenn Powell's. Yeah.

Without further ado, it is time for the Fast Five Stories that you need to know.

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Let me just say another thing I've been wrong about is just assuming snacks made with better ingredients, cleaner, healthier options, aren't good snacks. I learned that seriously eating Jackie's Pantry. You do such a good job of shopping at Thrive Market. Your snack selection is so good, and you don't have to sacrifice good snacks for better ingredients. Thrive Market is the perfect example of that.

Thank you, Tarty, for seeing me.

You're saving time shopping at Thrive Market as a member, but you're also saving money on every single order. On average, we are saving over 30% each time. They even have a price match guadante and a deals page that changes weekly. When you join Thrive Market, you're also helping a family in need with their one-for-one membership matching program. You will join and they will give. You can save time and money, shop Thrive Market today. Jax, what are some of your favorite items that you've discovered from Thrive Market?

Oh, such a great question. Some of my favorite brands to shop there, Siette, love Oh, they're Grain free chips? I didn't know I needed a Grain free trip. I love Simple Mills, I love Serenity, Pouches for the Kids, I love Annie's.

Go to thrivemarket. Com/thrivedoast for 30% off your first order, plus a free $60 gift. That's T-H-R-I-V. Today's episode is also brought to you by manscaped. Hey, ladies. Blink if you haven't purchased a Father's Day gift yet. We thought so. Today's episode is brought to you by manscaped, the leaders in below the Way Scruming. Maybe your pops has had a Bush since the '70s, and that's okay. Our friends at manscaped have crafted the total package for his special day. So whether it's for the boys downstairs, his beard, or even the best pair of underwear out there, manscaped has his bases covered. Head over to manscaped. Com and get 20% off and free shipping with code Toast. From Zaddy to Daddy, trust manscaped. Remember that old beard trimmer that your dad's been using since you were a kid? It's time for an upgrade and introducing the face shaver. That's a must have for that smooth finish that dad loves. The manscaped handyman. It's powerful and compact. The face shaver isn't just for It's perfect for quick touch-ups on the go. It's precision blades ensure a clean shave every time, making it essential for any tool in dad's grooming routine.

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Thank you, La.

You're welcome, Ja.

First story. Sophia Richie threw an epic garden party celebrating her baby girl, Eloise's birth. Sophia Richie threw an extravagant garden party her baby girl three weeks after giving birth. The model posted photos from the epic Backyard bash via her Instagram stories on Sunday after celebrating Eloise with her loved ones. She gave glimpses of the event's colorful landscape from Dior dishes to floral centerpieces, and The guests enjoyed pink sweatshirts that said Eloise in the font of Eloise at the Plaza. They had cocktails, including the pump and dump and mama's juice, and party games such as Don't Say Baby. It very much looks like a baby shower, but it was Host Baby.

Yeah, I think a lot of people are confused about that. But her and her husband are pretty Jewish. And in Judaism, baby showers before babies are born are considered bad luck. You don't really do that.

Yeah. So that's why. I like this take on it, though. I've not seen someone do this instead, and I think it's such a cute idea.

No, and it's so elegant. I'm pretty sure Dior was through the party for her because there was Dior everywhere.

And that way you could still get all your gifts, even though you can still get gifts even without a baby shower. But I love this. Jean is No. Genius, Jew-es.

Genius, Jew-es. I love this woman. No one's trying, but they could never make me hate her. I agree. I think this was everything she does. She's just also at a point in her career where... Like Hailey Bieber. Hailey Bieber, everything she does is cool. But even if she just farted, they would be like, Oh, my God, that's the coolest sound I've ever heard in my life, Justin. Sophia Richie is at the place now where everything she does is becoming a trend. She's a real tastemaker. But it just so happens that everything she does is She's so fucking classe. She's just a real nice, broad.

Yeah, she's a classey, broad.

I do think she's a really good role model for this generation. She's very Gen Z with her TikTok. Here she is just a nice girl who dresses nice. I think it's good. She's a good kid.

Yeah, I think so, too. I'm glad we agree. I love that Elliott Grange. You love what?

That, Elliott Grange, handsome fella. A lot of people say he looks like my husband. Jewish King. Obsessed.

Yeah. No, it's really cute. So Mazel.

And every glimpse into their life is just like, Thank you. Thank you for sharing. Truly.

Yeah. And they do share a good amount. So very Sweet. Are you ready for our next story, which is some sports news?

Oh, okay.

It's quite shocking.

What?

I'm sure you've seen it. It's not shocking, but it's confusing. Caitlin Clarke? Caitlin Clarke, yeah. Caitlin Clarke is not going to be on the 2024 Olympics women's basketball team, and now she's responding to the snub by being just such a classy queen and better than everyone. But I'm so confused.

So am I. I went to go find an answer, and I wasn't able to find one. Can someone explain why they would leave her off?

Right. Don't you want to win? She's the greatest thing to happen to women's basketball in forever. Yeah. She's better than everyone by a mile, right?

Can I say something crazy? I know Brittany Griner is on the team, and the Olympics are in where?

Paris.

The way if I was Brittany Griner, I would never leave the country again. I would be so fucking scarred. No, I seriously would be afraid to travel regionally. I can't believe Brittany Griner is leaving the country. Seriously, that were me. I know Brittany Griner and a lot of other WMBA players because they make so little money here in America on the WMBA offseason. And that's why she was in Russia. You go play and you make literally five times as much in one season in Istanbul. I wonder if she's going to do that. Seriously, the way I would burn my passport. I would never leave the country.

It's really so true. But she will be on the team. Caitlin Clarke was asked about not being on the team. She said she has no ill feelings. She said She has no disappointment about not making Team USA. I'm excited for the girls that are on the team. I know it's the most competitive team in the world, and I know it could have gone either way, me being on the team or me not being on the team. I'm going to be rooting them on to win gold. I was a kid that grew up watching the Olympics, so it'll be fun to watch them. Honestly, no disappointment. It just gives me something to work for. It's a dream. Hopefully, one day I can be there. I think it's just a little more motivation. You remember that. Hopefully, when four years comes back around, I can be there. Also, Team USA has taken home the gold every four years since 1996.

So I think-Oh, maybe they don't need her?

Well, I think in this category, they'll slay. And I think also same for men's basketball.

That's just- Yeah, it's our thing.

It's our thing. I think other countries don't prioritize basketball. It's just like if there was football, you would win. But it's confusing because the way I see it as a total third party with no- Particular interest in the matter. It's like she's the greatest basketball player, literally dribbling circles around everyone on the court. It's not even a fair fight. She's on another level.

No. Also, I'm on WNBA talk, so I'm actually doing my part in just engaging. I know a lot of what goes on. The other players in the league, they hate her. She gets shoved and she gets messed with, and she puts up with a lot. She's always this graceful queen. Even this response, which I'm sure when she found out she was angry, but publicly facing, you have to say the right thing. She's really very classic.

Yeah. Only three of the players who are reportedly on the team because the team leaked, because they haven't even officially announced it. But it's the team because they did call her and say... She said they called everyone who was a contender and let them know that She didn't make it, which she was grateful for. But only three of the players are new to the Olympics. Everyone else has played the Olympics before. But I also feel like, okay, maybe Is she the undisputed best player in the league or not? Maybe she's just the best rookie ever. Fine.

Right. Because they keep comparing her and having her stats being put up against Angel Reece, who is also a rookie. They both just stopped playing college basketball Now this is their first year declaring for the WMBA. What about everybody else in the league for the last 100 years?

Right. Maybe she's just the greatest rookie right now. But I also think having her on the team would have just spurned so much excitement for women's basketball at the Olympics. But then I saw something, I don't know what I was reading, someone's opinion that if she did make the team, she wouldn't have gotten a lot of playing time, and that would have made her fans upset. But this is making her fans upset.

I like when things make sense. To me, this is equaling suck.

It's equaling suck.

We're all talking about women's basketball for the first time, seriously, since its inception. We're all excited about it. There's commercials, brand deals, and it's because of one person. Seriously. It all boils down to Kaitlyn Clarke. Now we want to go show off our skills for what women's basketball is doing in America against other countries. That girl should be there, no? Unless I'm totally misunderstanding, which is entirely possible, and I would love if somebody could explain, but to me, something isn't adding up.

Yeah. No, there's an element missing from the equation. Maybe someone could weigh in. Maybe just something we don't know about. Maybe the team that's playing, is it the most amazing team playing together?

It's just now dawning on me that the Summer Olympics are a month away, and you and I are going to be together the whole summer, and the Olympics are just going to be on 24/7 in our house.

Yeah.

That's so It's exciting.

It is.

I fucking love the Olympics. Red, white, and blue. God bless America.

Yeah, but no shade to anyone. But don't you feel like they've been a little... Quiet? Like, lackluster in recent years for whatever reason.

The Olympics?

Yeah. No. The one, two years ago, where was the last Winter Olympics? We were so excited about it, and then we never watched or spoke about it.

Winter?

In China? Yeah. That was a weird Olympics, okay?

Well, of course. Sometimes the geopolitical landscape can overshadow.

That was a weird Olympics.

That was a weird Olympics because a lot of people were boycotting, and then they're like, all these concentration It was in China. That was weird, for sure.

It was weird. Where was the last summer Olympics?

Sochi?

I'd like always referencing Sochi. That was a winter.

Also China.

The last summer was Beijing, or was that winter?

Beijing, right.

They had summer and winter. I'm saying, it was China, China, and then Sochi is Russia. It's been weird.

It's been weird.

Thankfully, France- Paris, the city of love, even though they're not allowed to get it on in the Olympic village.

Yeah, it feels like it can be this neutral territory where, hopefully, the geopolitical landscape will not overshadow the thousands of athletes who have worked their life for this moment. Yeah. That is always weird. When wars and stuff have implications on the Olympics. That's that famous hockey game, right? With the Russians.

Yeah, Miracle on the Ice on 34th Street?

No, it was called the Red Army or something. Yeah.

No, is that like Plasin? But there's a movie about it. I think it's called Miracle on the Ice.

Oh, I have to watch that.

Wait. Yeah, you do. Hold on. Miracle movie. I just need to. Yeah, there's a hockey player. The college coach is hired to helm the 1980 US Men's Olympic Hockey Team. He brings a unique and brash style to the ice. After assembling a team of hot-headed college stars who are humiliated in an early match, where's Russia? Oh, oh, Brooks unites his squad against a common foe, the heavily-favored Soviet team. As the US squad tries to overcome insurmountable odds and win the gold medal, the team becomes a microcosm for American patriotism during the Cold War. Yeah, it's getting microcosm.

I'm so glad you brought that up because it reminded me something I wanted to say about...

Tchernobyl.

Tchernobyl was the character of Mr. Gorbachev. To be honest, I have no fucking idea who that is, but I know Mr. Gorbachev, tear down that wall.

Yeah. It wasn't really said so swirly like that. It was more like a, Tear down that wall.

It was more dire. It was just like...

It wasn't a suggestion.

It wasn't like, Hey, Mr. Gorbachev, would you be here? How are you doing? Tear down that wall?

It wasn't a suggestion.

Well, it did remind me because I'm I feel like I'm really invested in learning about history these days in terms of what I read and what I watch. But there's just a blind spot for me when it comes to Cold War. Wars after World War II. Cold War, Vietnam, question mark. I really don't know much.

I think that's totally fair. I definitely know less about that area, too, because it's a longer period of time and less happy It happened in a hot sense. That's why it was so cold. But there's common themes of the two, communism.

Let me ask you another question. Cold War. Vietnam, separate.

Vietnam is not It's part of the umbrella of communism. That's what they're fighting. But Vietnam was a hot war because there was fighting. The Cold War, there was no actual fighting. It was just cold. Drama. It was cold energy.

We're cold towards each other. It was a war War of bad vibes.

It was a war of bad vibes, but it was cold in the sense. One, because we don't like each other and we're being cold, but because it wasn't hot. There was no battles.

Got it.

World War II was very hot war.

Soviet Union and USSR. Same thing? Yeah. When you think of USSR, what do you think of?

I'm back in the USSR.

Yes. Best movie ever, Heartbreakers.

I feel like vomiting.

Sigourney Reaver's finest work.

Soviet Union is the USSR. That's saying United States is America, right?

That's what I was thinking. I just wanted to make sure.

Soviet Union is Russia's name in the USSR. You know what I mean?

It's like their estate in the country.

Because USSR had other states in their sphere.

Yeah. Okay, but quickly back to the Olympics. Oh, Kaitlyn Clarke. Oh, all that to say, I'm super excited about the Olympics.

I'm getting excited, too. This is making me excited. I think we deserve a bussing Olympics. I think the athletes deserve it. Me too.

What I thought you were going to say is I feel like they're not doing it by they, I mean, the country. They're not doing a good job of getting us excited. Who's even going?

Do we know? Well, no, because all of the trials and stuff are happening now. They're competing for those spots. But I do feel like they've been doing commercials for the Olympics for so long, and I think they started a little too early.

Oh, by the way, they started doing commercials for the Olympics three years ago. People were doing paid Instagram posts for @NBC Olympics. Now it's actually happening, and there's no busses.

I'm still not taking it seriously because I'm like, Oh, I keep seeing this. When I'm watching something on Peacock, they're going about the Olympics, and I've already tuned it out, unfortunately.

But nevertheless, super excited. And excited to see who the breakout star is. Of course, we know Simone Biles, like the usual. But there's always a young, hot thing from some random sport. Everybody becomes a tester, and then become a celebrity.

Love it. We could always use a new celebrity.

We could.

Are you ready For our next story, it's a follow-up to last week, talking about Jen and Ben, their house pictures went online, and now the marital home is up for sale. Yeah.

They're trying to run a house. Just closing the loop on that.

Yeah. I I feel like it's important that we close the loop, and so I can say, Yeah, this is bad.

So you're laying down your arms?

I'm no longer biting against the tide, and I'm at a place of acceptance, if true. Yeah.

Yeah. It's... Excuse me. Oh, my God. It's not looking good.

Yeah. Do you want to tell everyone what just happened to you?

I yawned.

Is that a big deal? For people listening, it sounded like you saw a classic turdy Oh, it does sound like I saw a mouse. Someone walked in on you.

It sounds like I saw a mouse. No, I was just yarning, which is so crazy because I think I got a really good sleep score. Let me just triple check.

I haven't checked mine either. How's life with the aura going?

92. Wow, I How can you? Not in a half hours. That's a lot of hours.

That's ideal.

Yeah.

Let's see how I did. Oh, I need to charge my aura.

Oh, so do I. I'm only at 40%. And I'm about halfway to my activity goal for the morning already. Wow.

My sleep was 83, but my readiness is high. That's good. It says good, 7 hours, 53 minutes. Not the greatest.

I just was sent this breaking news. 28 sodas, juices, and other drinks that have been recalled by the FDA as of today. Do you want to hear?

Do you want to send it to me?

Yeah. Do you want to choose it as a story or no?

We could just slip it in right now. Jen and Ben put their home on for sale. Now, third story is also soda.

How about I do it? Ready? Yeah. The recalled drinks include a pain relieving tea called Himalayan Pain Relief Tea. I don't think anybody cares. Martin Nelly's apple juice.

What for?

Because it contained arsenic, a toxic metal that may increase the risk of bladder and skin cancer.

Okay, yeah. That's not good.

Around 2 million bottles of Fiji water have been recalled.

Fiji has always been nasty.

After three types of bacteria were found in the water, in addition to the mineral manganese, which in high amounts can cause brain damage.

Okay. What What else?

I haven't heard of some of these, but if you guys know Charles Bagini Company, they have a pink lemonade, a yellow lemonade, a yellow lemonade X. Red 40.

I've been telling you about Red 40. Have you had been telling me? Everything with red 40 has been recalled? No, everything has red 40.

Well, does it? I think this one is just... Oh, because they didn't disclose that there's red 40 on it. That's even worse.

Thick. Yeah, at least we can avoid red 40.

And some of the dyes in these sodas have a benzodine, which is a carcinogenic to humans and animals.

That is so crazy. See, this is like... I don't know how you make your Especially if the water's polluted. Maybe someone can let me know. Maybe it's just as simple as a brita, but how can we ensure... I can't make homemade water.

Okay, wait. Ready? There's more.

Okay.

Schwepp's zero sugar ginger ale.

I have one in my fridge, I think, but no one drank it.

Pepsico's Mug Root Bier.

No.

The Martinelle's and the Natural Water's. And then wait, there was a... The Trader Joe's 100% juice, organic carrot juice.

What's wrong with that?

I don't know. It just is on the list. Powerade in flavors fruit punch and mixed berry, and mountainberry blast. Wait, and there was also Enfamil. Enfamil Nutrimogen hypoallergenic infant formula powder.

Just the hypoallergenic?

Also the Cresolic Powdered Goat Milk Infant Formula.

Oh my God.

And Sammie's milk, goat milk toddler formula. Oh, Ben loves this. The Yogi Immune Support Tea.

I have to tell him. Oh, I have Yogi tea, but I haven't drink it in forever. Not the formula.

Yeah, that's disgraceful. At the bottom of the list, just snuck in there.Send me that list.5, 6, and 7. Fuck it.

I'm switching the whole milk. Fuck it. Fuck it. I'm sick. I'm sick about this. I was already getting mad, but now the four... This is why we make our own bread, Claudia.

I thought you were going to say, This is why we make our own milk.

That, too.

Yeah.

Oh, my gosh. That just gave me such a pit.

I'm really sorry.

Not even just the formula, just everything. You just can't use anything. How come you can't make a soda without arsenic? Why is that so hard?

I'm so glad you brought that up.

It's a good question. Why is it so hard to not get-Kill people. Poisonous chemicals leached into our beverages? Even Fiji water? It's water. No, my God.

Totally. You're right, by the way. It goes back to something you were saying last week, like big food.

They're trying to kill us.

No, and then you see this. How do you not become a conspiracy theorist? Like, dead ass. Even our water?

To keep drinking and keep believing is the conspiracy at this point. To believe that these things are okay is you're the conspiracy theorist. To see with your eyes, you're a truth seeer.

You're such a truth seeer.

They're trying to kill us.

They are. They really are.

But how do you make your own water? Because I will.

No, that's a good question. Somebody that I know who definitely dabbles in a lot of theories, but he's also really smart. I don't think he's crazy. He has long been talking about the tap water in New York, the pipes really problematic.

The pipes in New York are a major problem, but a lot of tap water.

Rust, lead. Then it makes you think, how many years was the phrase, New York, best tap water in the country? It was a phrase. They popularized that phrase to get us not to think. I'm telling you.

It's also, Okay, that's the best one. So what's in the others?

It's actually not the best one. It's widely known, mountain water is the cleanest.

What water does Nara Smith drink? What water does ballerina Farm drink?

Honestly, ballerina Farm definitely lives on a creek. She probably drinks natural water.

Maybe she built it her own. You have to... Or boil it. Oh, my God. I literally can't.

I can't.

It's insurmountable.

It comes back to Erin Brockovich.

It does. Poisonous water. That was a microcosm. It was just a microcosm. Of what they're doing to the country. We're all so curious why we don't feel good.

It's so Oh, my God. I'm literally...

And why we're depressed, and sick, and fat.

Oh, my God. It's so true.

Because they're trying to kill us.

I think we should move.

Who's not trying to kill us?

So true.

You have to just take matters into your own hands.

Boil your own water.

Okay, well, thank you for ruining my day with that.

You're welcome.

Are you ready for our next story?

Four?

Number four. So you're ready? Yeah, yeah, yeah. How could you be ready at a time like this?

Because we still have the fifth story.

But we still have ads.

Yeah, I know. So we need to do it after the fourth.

But then the show is over.

Yeah, it's not because we always just talk. But also... No, no. But wait, no, no. Let's talk this story. Let's talk this story. I like to spread them out. And so the first chunk of ads, because we did so much pre-Fast 5 banter, was at about 35 minutes by my calculation.

Right. And it's now been 20 minutes later. And industry standard is to do an ad break every 15 minutes.

And if we I don't have-I like to separate the two breaks as much as possible to give people as much content. But sure, tell me how to do my job.

No, tell me how to do- But then it's like, if we don't have 15 minutes of content after the last ad, that's a little dicey.

We will, first of all. Second of Well, actually perfect, because the sponsor of today's show is a brand you can trust when it comes to beverages, and that's Lipton tea.

That is a perfect segue.

You didn't see them on that list. Their Green Tea is a proactive wellness hack to support your overall health. They are on a mission to tell people how two cups of their green tea a day delivers quick and simple wins on an individual health and wellness journey. It's all because of Flavenoids. Do you know what that is, Jax?

No, tell me.

They have two new flavors, a Signature blend green tea and the new Lemon, Peach, and honey, ginger green tea. They're both really good. Basically, drinking two cups of Lipton green tea daily is a great ally for wellness. It's a simple way to up your everyday healthy habits because those two cups of tea have the same amount of flavenoids as eating eight cups of raw kale. Flavonoids are naturally occurring bioactives that are found in tea, vegetables, and fruit. Two cups of day is an easy way to support your health. Lipton tea is just a delicious way of getting those bioactives and flavenoids into your diet. Tea is just such an elegant beverage. Sophia Richie definitely drinks tea. It makes you feel good, makes you look good. Like Jackie said, we're all not feeling good all the time. Let's take steps. Obviously, nothing too major. Drinking two cups of Tea. I can do that. That's very realistic. To make yourself feel better, why wouldn't you do that? You can try Lipton, their new green tea that come in two different flavors. Again, it's the new Signature blend green tea and the new Lemon, Peach, and Honey, Ginger green tea.

Try the new Lipton green tease today. And get on your Two Cups a Day, girly swirly. Jax, are you ready?

I'm not ready because I need to let you know that today's episode is also brought to you by Huggies. Huggies Little Movers is sponsoring today's episode of The Toast. Huggies knows that babies come in all shapes and sizes, and their toucheies do, too. Huggies has more curves and outstanding active fit. Moms know that there's nothing worse than an ill-fitting diaper, especially for your active babies. Yeah, leaks just get in the way of everything and We need diapers that are going to absorb and also going to fit all the little nooks and crannies. I love Huggies because I can rely on them to keep my baby covered while he moves around. Also, they have really cute designs. Right now, we're rocking the Simba diapers, and it gets everyone really excited to see that little man on the diaper. The diapers are cute for the kids, great quality, and are helping with leaks, blowouts, et cetera.

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So cute.

Yeah, super cute.

Our next- That ad just made me miss my family.

We miss you too, La. Our next story, The Comedians are Fighting. Who? Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Jerry Seinfeld. What? So Jerry Seinfeld did an interview recently where he talked about how political correctness is harming comedy. Not really a hot take at this point. He said it used to be, you would get home at the end of the day. Most people would say, Oh, Cheers is on, Mash is on, Mary Tyler Moore is on, all the family is on. You just expected there'll be some funny stuff we can watch on TV tonight. Well, guess what? Where is it? This is the result of the extreme left and PC crap and people worrying so much about offending other people.

So then-Oh, look at that, Gerri, getting political.

Right. So then she She was in an interview. She was in an interview with the New York Times, and she said, It's a red flag when comedians complain about political correctness. She said- Oh, okay. Yeah. Don't forget, they were both on Seinfeld. I forgot.

Don't forget, by the way, let me hear what Julia Louise said.

She said, If you look back on comedy and drama, both, let's say 30 years ago, through the lens of today, you might find bits and pieces that don't age well. I think to have an antenna about sensitivities is not a bad thing. It doesn't mean that all comedy goes out the window as a result. When I hear people starting to complain about political correctness, and I understand why people might push back on it, but to me, that's a red flag, because it sometimes means something else. I believe being aware of certain sensitivities is not a bad thing. I don't know how else to say it.

I'm sorry. It's really just crazy that she says that after Veep. Veep is the craziest show. By the way, I loved Veep, and it's wild. Some of the stuff that was said, the writing of that show was amazing. It was very out and very not politically correct. That's a show that, seriously, in 20 years, Gen A or whatever is going to be like, Oh, my God. Take it off, Max.

You think so? Why? What did they say?

Oh, my God. It was just... By the way, it was really crazy.

It was?

Yeah. The way they would reference people and talking about... It was just crazy. Oh, I didn't find that- Am I wrong?

That's not how I remember it. It's just funny.

Oh, I remember it as being very direct. This is how people in Washington really talk.

Interesting.

Yeah.

Well, she also then spoke more about it because she said, I wanted to make sure that I answered this whole idea of political correctness correctly, and I can't really remember what I said. So I want to go back to that and be very clear about where I stand. My feeling about all of it is that political correctness in so far as it equates to tolerance is obviously fantastic. And of course, I reserve the right to boo anyone who says anything that offends me while also respecting their right to free speech, right? She said, The bigger problem is the consolidation She believes money and power. She believes the siloing of studios and outlets, as well as streamers and distributors, is a threat to the creative voice. So that's what I want to say in terms of the threat to art.

I feel like she was asked a question that she really doesn't have a fully thought out thought on, which is fine. You don't have to have a harsh opinion on everything. And she just shot the bed. I don't know if it's a direct commentary on Jerry Seinfeld, because she didn't bring this up. She was asked asked about it. I think that she was asked a question that was meant to be provocative, and she didn't really have an answer. So now they're positioning it as her and Jerry fighting, and I don't think that they are.

Yeah, but I also think that's a big conversation in comedy right now. It's political correctness, and is comedy suffering, and where is comedy? So if you're interviewing an comedian, that's probably something that you would touch on both when it comes to Jerry's interview and her interview. I think, though, it's obvious that comedy suffered in recent years. I mean, I hear a sentiment of, of course, you want to be sensitive to sensitivities. It's nice, but the problem is in actuality, where do you draw that line? And the line then keeps moving, and then it's like, Okay, well, this whole concept just isn't going to work.

But also, I don't know if it's necessarily a question Julia Louis-Dreyfuss is equipped to answer. And clearly, she wasn't. Jerry Seinfeld actively does stand-up comedy. He's actively commenting on the culture in a very tough climate, if you will. Julia Louis-Dreyfuss doesn't do stand-up currently.

They're not even talking about stand-up. They were talking about TV shows, what he was talking about. It could be late night. It could be a sitcom. Just things aren't funny.

It's hard to find funny stuff to watch. No, they're not. It's hard to find funny stuff to watch. Even Hacks, which was funny and out there. Oh, which I finished. A lot of people said to me, Claudia, you have to finish the last episode of Hacks to really understand it comes full circle. Did it? No. Literally, they didn't undo anything except Ava gets worse. If you thought she couldn't, not only was she annoying and distress millennial, now she's a fucking bitch.

Yikes. Yeah.

Not the bitch. Okay.

That's what the comedians have said today.

Yeah.

So awkward. Awkward Seinfeld reunion, even though not really, they probably don't even know the other said the other thing.

No. And the thing is, they're both comedians who are super mainstream. I feel like these days, if you are a very... Not an industry plan, but somebody who the industry accepts, and you're on TV and you get these mainstream opportunities. You are not funny because you're safe. These comedians who operate in dirty corners of the internet, Andrew Schultz, Shane Gillis, saying things that are not said But on TV, they're the ones having major success in comedy selling out Madison Square Garden, not the people you see on TV.

Right. I'm actually surprised that Jerry Seinfeld even said what he did.

Yeah, because Jerry Seinfeld is one of those approved comedians. Yeah. He's never said anything. And that's why it's a weird take, because Jerry's always been known as this safe, not clean, but family-friendly comedian. He doesn't say the R-word.

Yeah. No, he... It's so interesting.

Yeah.

Actually, I don't know if I mentioned this- I'm sad that he can't find something to watch on TV.

I watched- He should watch Toilet Dreyfus. I saw Julie Lee Dreyfus in person the other day. Did I say that on The Toast?

I don't know if you did.

Do you know where I saw her?

At lunch?

Yes. At what facility?

I forget.

The Mark has mice. The Mark denies the Holocaust.

Also, in looking at these pictures, she looks like Ms. Rachel. Anyone else see it? Julia Louis? Yeah, they have a similar... They have a similar elk, I just noticed.

Oh, speaking of Julia Louie, for some reason, whenever I think of Julia Louie, an actor I associate with her is James Gandolfini. And that's because I never saw the Sopranos, but I did see that one movie, Enough Said, that James Gandolfini was in with Julia Louis-Dreyfus, and it's literally such a good movie. Fun fact of Zero Dark Thirty is that James Gandolfini was in it. Like, what?

Tony Soprano?

Tony Soprano. He plays like a head CIA boss.

Oh, cool. Cool.

Let me tell you that Julia Louis-Dreyfus doesn't not look like Ms. Rachel.

They have a similar energy.

Yeah. Theater.

That's the energy?

Theater Kid.

Yeah, perhaps. In a Ms. Rachel biopic. Like Julia Louis.

A young Julia Louis.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

Fifth and final.

A little more sports news because that's what we do here, except it's not really sports news. But Ariana Grande enjoyed a rare date night with her boyfriend, Ethan Slater, at the Stanley Cup final. So this is just a hockey podcast at this point.

I didn't see.

I didn't see the It was just out unabashed in public, which I think by now, they just are.

They've earned the right to.

Also, the Panthers are in the Stanley Cup. Panthers proud.

Oh, my God. They are. You should go.

I know. And I want to go. I didn't realize the Stanley Cup had started.

It's really crazy how hockey is so irrelevant in the culture.

It's not. It's hot or cold. You either are a hockey person or you're not. There's no middle ground.

Okay, here's the difference.

You don't ever find yourself casually watching hockey.

Jackie, you don't watch basketball, do you?

No.

I bet you could name five basketball players current. Yeah. You're not-Go, go. Oh, of course.

But I'm not saying that hockey is basketball.

I couldn't name one hockey... Actually, I could because his wife is a toaster, TJ O'She, and I thought his last name sounded like ours.

Hockey isn't basketball in this country. There's no casual watching of hockey, is what I'm saying. You're either so in it or so removed.

It's just crazy that the NHL is the same as the NBA, the NFL, the MLB. I don't watch baseball. I could tell you 11 players' names.

Eleven? Okay. Current. Not Mike Piazza.

Not Mike Piazza. Peter Alonso, my best friend. Tama Judges' son, Aaron Judge. Okay. Oh, Kate Upton's husband. What's his name? Justin... What's his last name?

I'll tell you. Berlander. Yeah.

Yeah, thank you. Justin Verlander. Okay, so I can't do former. I can't do nick Swischer, Joanna Garcia, Swischer's husband.

No, we cannot do former.

Let me think. I definitely know. Oh, he played on the Knicks. Not the Knicks, the Mets. Noah Cindergard. I don't know if he's still on the team.

I'll allow it.

Let me think. No, I definitely know more. Hold on. What is Vanessa Hudgens husband's name?

Or Breel's boyfriend. That's what I was thinking.

Oh, Michael Kopeck. Michael Kopeck.

Minor League, but okay. No, I think he goes between the league. He goes up and down. Let me think. It's crazy how we might actually know more Minor League players than major.

Thanks, Breel Beermann. Okay, wait. I know more. Hold on. Let me think. This is hard. Let me just think about the Mets. I was out to dinner.

It's okay. I don't think you're- But by the way, still four? Right. Not 11. I would say the MLB- I want us to serious it right now. But the MLB is like, hugely successful. It's just like, we don't watch it.

So is the NHL. Right.

But I think the NHL is even more siloed, and it's like you're either a hockey person or you're not.

I want us to seriously spend the next 30 seconds thinking really hard. Can we name besides CJ Osi? Because one NHL player.

Yeah, my friend's brother plays in the NHL.

You have a friend who's not me? Yeah.

My friend, Brit.

What's her brother's name?

Sunny Milano. He plays in the NHL. What team? I think the Islanders.

Okay, I don't feel like that counts. Personal references don't count in this exercise.

Yeah, he plays for the Washington Capitals.

Current baseball players. I feel like who's the most famous one? It's Pete Alonso right now.

Wait, so then Pete Alonso doesn't count in your exercise, personal reference.

Oh, shit. You're right. Ronald Acuna. Aaron Judge. Okay, that was a good one.

Then there's, Cary Underwood's husband, Mike Fisher.

Predators. Does he still play? I feel like, yeah.

I think you're right.

I just want to say I'm on this list.

Then Hillary Deft's ex-husband, Comrie.

Oh, Bryce Harper. I have heard of him.

Bryce Harper? Yeah, he sounds like a TikToker.

No, literally. This list of the top players currently in the MLB, I seriously don't know any of them. Where is Pete Alonso? He's number one.

This list is- I think we did better than I thought we were going to do. We did four hockey players. We did? Yeah. Mike Fisher, Mike Comrie, Tyler O'Sh O'shi and Sunny Milano.

Knowing us, we probably know some Tyler O'shi that's on his name. If they put those four people in a room together and they had to figure out why the four of them- Who put them together? I I actually think they might get there.

You think?

Yeah, because if your friend's brother just happens to talk about Colgate, Jacky O, TJ will say, Oh, my wife listens to this podcast, and we actually went to her show in Pittsburgh.

And then they would say, Oh, and we were married to celebrities.

No, not Pittsburgh, Baltimore. Yeah, right. They would actually figure it out.

How long do you think it would take them?

I don't know if the baseball players, Aaron Judge, Pete Alonso, and these D-Listers.

But the thing is, oh, there was D-listers. Because otherwise, they're just a bunch of baseball players on the Mets Yankees in a room.

Yeah, no. And then Kate Upton's husband.

Yeah, he's also tops. I feel like they've been in rooms together for the Olympics or whatever.

Rubbing elbows, yeah.

They all go to the Olympics.

What was the story?

The Panthers are in the Stanley Cup.

That wasn't the story.

The Ariana Grande and her boyfriend were there, because lest me not forget, she's a Florida girl.

Oh, Oh, my God. Is she from Boca Routan?

I don't know where she's from.

I think she is from Boca Routan. Ariana.

I mean... Yes.

Yeah. That's like such a... And so is Megan Treanor.

She's a Panthers fan.

Got it. That's why maybe she's home visiting Grand.

Yeah, perhaps meeting her new boyfriend.

They don't step out a lot. When they do, it's big news, obviously, because this was the beginning of the end of our For Ariana Grande. And then her album definitely brought her back.

And I feel like now that the album's out, she's like, Fuck you all. I've been with my mans almost a year now. We're going to go enjoy life.

And she never spoke out about it. But her good friend, Bowen Yang, said on his podcast, The narrative out there about her is so incorrect, and she's never corrected it.

She said that on her album, too, pretty much. You guys don't know anything. But okay, what part are we wrong about?

You can't just say, You guys are wrong. I need a little bit more.

The The thing that's the critical issue for me, because I don't care about her ex-husband, is that he was married to a laywoman. When he left to go- With a baby. When he left to go film Wicked, he had a happy wife and a baby at home, and then he didn't come home.

Yeah.

Because he was snatched by the talons of Ms. Ari.

That's what we know thus far.

What part of that is incorrect? I'm like, I would be so happy to move on from it.

I also think, let's say this is completely kosher, the way it down was fine. I'm not a fan of this relationship.

Yeah, he doesn't have a good Q score. No, not at all. Not for me, not for anyone, really.

That's personally where I draw the line.

Yeah. But she looks happy. I wonder how many more games there are. Also, speaking of finals and personal interest, the Mavericks are in the finals of basketball. My husband is thrilled, except last night he was not thrilled because they lost.

Yeah. What's the score?

2-0. Oh, that's a bad score. I feel like there's only been two games so far. But they have to get their ad dollars in. They're going to play seven games.

Yeah. Boston leads 2-0. Okay.

Well, I feel like even if the Mavericks don't win, I'm sure he won't see it this way. It's an honor to be nominated. It's very exciting to be in the finals, especially when the Cowboys never make it that way.

Yeah. Some of us have never been in the finals. Yeah.

So just be happy. Like smile because it happened.

Exactly.

I think that's a beautiful to leave people on.

I completely agree. The good news is, it's not Tuesday by any means, but it's not the beginning of Monday.

It's no longer Monday morning.

And that, to me, is huge.

It's caused to Célebré.

Célebré. That's our show, right?

I've been working on my French since the Olympics are in Paris.

All right, hit us.

It's caused to celebrate.

Oh, that's it. I've been working on my French, too.

Bonnouis.

Bonnouis. That's good. To that, we say bonnouis. Actually, somebody posted that clip of the Bonnoy moment on a toast fan page on TikTok, and it came across my desk.

Yeah, we have fan pages.

First of all, I think that was probably the height of my obesity, which is just unfortunate for me because I can't enjoy watching the episode. I think I had gotten a spray tan the night before I was going somewhere, so I chose to not wear makeup that day and be pre-showered spray tan on the show. I look fucking crazy. Seriously, I look horrible. It's such a shame because it's such an amazing story. Rewatching it, I just recently rewatched it, me sharing that story was incredibly brave. It's one of the most embarrassing things I've ever done in my life.

Well, then you've lived a good life, La. I love that. Also, good thing so many people listen as a podcast because people didn't know what you looked like.

So true.

So that's a win for audio.

Do you want to wrap up? I just want to pet Romeo.

I would love to if you'll me to wrap up in my style, which is not auctioneer. It's more lexodasical. Thank you guys so much for listening to The Toast. We appreciate every single one of you. We hope that you enjoyed yourself so much today, that you'll come back tomorrow and maybe even tell a friend. Now, like, subscribe, comment on Instagram.

It's giving desperate. It's giving desperate.

I think it's giving earnest plea.

One woman's desperation is another woman's earnest plea. Honestly, I love that.

I'm not thirsty. I'm just an earnest player.

It's just a plea from an earnest woman.

The importance of being earnest play.

I, like seriously, I love earnest play.

It's all about spin turdy. Anyways, we'll see you tomorrow. Love you. Bye.

Say, bye, Tromeo.