Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the chosen. Happy Thursday. That definitely feels like. I don't want to be ungrateful, but it feels like, oh, whoa, Thursday. Because we had a short week with Monday. So I'm not rejecting the Thursday. I'm just acknowledging that, like, it's here kind of quickly.

It is here kind of quickly. I haven't acknowledged that it was Thursday, so I'm so grateful to this show because one thing about the toast, we're gonna let you know what day of the week it is.

Nothing in life is guaranteed.

And we're gonna talk about how it feels to be on that day of the week, because it's.

It's so much more than there's a fucking hair, like, in my eye. You know, when just, like, get the fuck. I don't even know where I feel like.

You're not attack. You're not attacking it in a. In the right way. You have to be, like, more surgical.

I don't know where it is. It's just, like, fucking irritating my face.

Listen to your body. Close your eyes. Feel the hair.

No, I think maybe it's like, a phantom hair. Like, the hair was never in the room with us.

Her dulu, losing her mind.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

With her phantom hair. As if she doesn't have enough.

Yeah, well, you know, I used to take my hair for granted, but then it started falling out. When I started, I was epic. So, like, we can't say things like that anymore, you know? Hair isn't guaranteed anymore. For my whole life, it was true. Even now, like, I brush my hair and I'm like, is it coming out again? I'm, like, living in panic.

Phantom hair loss, you know?

I'm definitely, like, scarred from the experience.

Oh, well, postpartum hair loss, that's. It's a rough one. No, it really is. I have, like, I can't even. I don't even know what to do with my hair anymore because I have so much, like, just short hairs.

Maybe you should get a pixie cut. Make them all the same length.

No, Claudia, they're. They're like baby hairs. There's not short. Like, I wish it was, like, pixie.

Okay, what about a buzz cut? Just start over.

That's the. That's the only way.

Sometimes you just have to start from scratch.

Yeah, well, no.

Yeah, well, no, I love that.

What if we just said no? Well, okay, well, today's Thursday as stated.

Right.

Right. Doesn't feel like a Thursday, but that doesn't change the facts.

Let's circle back to that. It's Thursday. We've got a great show. We're doing deer toasters. You know, we usually do it on Wednesday. Please don't make me say it again. Is Bruno okay, by the way? I'm hearing a lot of madness. I know nobody else is probably hearing it, but I just want to make sure, like, Bruno's well being. Wellness check on Bru, right?

So, Bruno's trying to find his way in this studio. He went to the other chair to lay with the pillow of Theo, but there's a bunch of books on the chair, and he couldn't get comfortable, and he knocked some stuff over. Then he came over to this chair right beside me, your usual podcasting chair. And there is a recipe on the chair that he's trying to get comfortable around. So it's a piece of paper on the chair that he keeps standing on.

Well, I hear it, but I'm sure nobody else does. But I just wanted to make sure Brunello Cuccinell was doing okay.

He's just trying to find his way in this world.

I mean, relatable. Say what you want about Bruno, but he's never been anything other than a relatable king.

It's so true. He wears his heart on his sleeve.

I'm really excited and looking forward to the days where Romeo gets to a place where I can bring him to work. He's still very much a puppy, and he would be extremely distracting. What's the recipe for that?

Bruno's, like, currently munching on sourdough discard sandwich bread. Of course.

Of course, of course.

What else is it for? I've started printing my recipes. Cause I'm so sick of trying to, like, find the same recipe on my iPad and remember which creator's recipe I liked. So now I'm gonna start printing them and hopefully put them together, like, in a binder for myself.

No, you're literally moving backwards.

I am moving backwards through time. Yes, I am.

I love that. Normalize, like, writing things down and printing them out.

Yeah, I get targeted for a lot of, like, slow living instagram reels.

Wait, download me. What is slow living? It sounds like something I've already been doing.

It's city dwellers. No, because you're a city dweller. City dwellers like moving to remote areas. The girl I was watching yesterday, she moved to the beach, like, a beautiful house on the beach with her husband, and she's just living out her romance novel fantasies, making everything from scratch. Just, like, dancing around her kitchen, reading books and telling you your life stinks.

And slow living. How does the printer come into that?

Oh, because, like, back to the, like, not digital.

Got it.

Recipes. But she's filming scratch, but. Right. That's always the, that's the thing that's my favorite thing about the trad wives, is like, they live on the farm in the 19 hundreds with their Instagram account and their tripod and their lighting.

Yeah, no, they're, they're kind of mod trad wives.

Yeah, but, and the trad wives were, like, really doing it and really in the trenches. We may never know them because they're not on the Internet.

Right. I would say the most authentic of tradwives are the most unknown of trad wives.

Exactly. You're inherently inauthentic as a trad wife if you're an influencer. But that, I mean, that doesn't bother me whatsoever. Like, I live for it. I think that's a perfect blend. I don't think anything should be all. So you're not one way, like, you're.

Not like a trad wife purist?

No, I'm not. I think that there are so many modern conveniences that we should 100% enjoy and incorporate into our lives. Like a refrigerator.

Totally.

And I think overall it's a net positive that the tradwives are out there spreading their gospel because it's inspiring other people in small ways and big. But I do think that you don't have to shirk. I was just, I sent you some trad wife I stumbled upon. And she's like a legit tradwife except for the fact that she's an influencer.

Oh, that's the big but.

That's the big but. But she was like, people think trad wives need to have all these kids and not have a refrigerator. And the only like, and she's like, but I'm not that.

Oh, wow. She's kind of like a rebel of the trad community. A maverick, if you will.

No, but if you saw her page, like, she's legit, not. Well, I'm just saying it's a lot of blending of old and new. And I'm here for that.

I am also here for what I was trying to say. We went on a random tangent for deer toasters. Let me tell you, the deer toasters today are so crazy. One of them is for you and one of them is for me. Like, great. It's really insane. The girlies are seriously in crisis and I have one thing to say. I'm on my way.

Okay. Do we need to, like, start with your toasters. No. That would be so crazy.

No, there's, like, there's a. We have a plan here. Like, let's not just, like, be crazy.

But it's not an emergency situation. Start with your toaster. Spit the episode out immediately.

I'm on my way.

We'll be on our way soon.

I'm on my way. What else is going on that I could tell you guys about? Didn't watch Pearl harbor last night. Will watch Pearl harbor at some point this weekend. Watched more entourage. You're just kind of like, I'm slipping back into old habits, you know? I wanted to go on this journey of educating myself, watching films and shows based on real events. No. Here I am back watching this crap for a montage where every other word is the f slur or the r slur. It's really so crazy.

Well, it's based on real events. No, Mark Wahlberg.

That is true. It is. Technically, it's not based.

It's historical fiction.

It's not based on true events. It's based on real people.

Historical fiction.

Damn. No, you're right. Loophole.

Loophole. Educating and bettering yourself every day.

And fun fact in the pilot episode, Mark Wahlberg and, like, his crew, his band of yellow belly losers who the show is based off of, all the different characters make an appearance in the pilot. They just, like, you know, run into Vinnie chase on the lot. It's hard to watch this show. Vinnie Chase is to Carrie Bradshaw is to Susan Meyer.

He's so, so beautiful. He might be, like, the worst of the worst of protagonists.

Dumb bitch. Like, make worse decisions, be more irresponsible, be a bigger moron if you like. He couldn't if he tried. It's actually frustrating. I will definitely get to a point where I have to stop watching the show because he is so infuriating. Very. Serena van der Woodson coded, but he's definitely the worst out of all of them. I completely agree.

He's tops.

Tops. He's. Honestly, it might be a tie for first with Carrie Bradshaw. She's really up there for, like, one of the worst protagonists. And. And you don't realize it the first time you watch a show, but when you go back, you're like, holy shit, Fiona.

But also, Vinny's, like, so self righteous. Like, he seriously thinks he's the goodest guy.

No, for sure. And, like, seriously, watch it through the lens of justice for his brother, Johnny drama. Nobody wanted success more. Nobody worked harder on their physical, deserve mental on his skills. He went to act like he seriously worked so hard. Vinnie just kept staring, stepping in shit. Aquaman, Queens Boulevard. Like, didn't give a fuck, didn't actually read scripts. Like, was so mean to Eric, who was doing the most for him. Like, gave up his whole life to live with him. I'm sorry. Rewatch entourage, and you will see. You will see that the true hero of the story is Johnny drama, and the villain is Vinny Chase.

Yeah. Yeah. That's for damn sure. Speaking of content, switching gears to 14th century imperial China, I started my redheads book last night really quickly.

I do think, though, that's an act depiction of how a list actors are. They're morons and they're rude and they're idiots, and, like, they're, like, they step in shit, you know?

Yeah, but our. When the show runners made the show, like, vinnie Chase, like, we're supposed to love him, were we? I feel like. Yeah, I feel like that's the problem. If he was being, like, a classic actor, a list, like, what you think of. And we could all, like, the ancillary characters better, but I feel like he's supposed to be the one.

There's no way.

So hateable.

There's no way.

No, because he doesn't really do anything outwardly.

Yes, he does.

He's not like, yes, he does. I feel like he. They see him as, like, the moral compass of the show.

No, I think Eric actually is really. He's, like, the most normal on his.

On his baby mama.

Yeah. Well, that comes on later on. But I mean, in terms of. Spoiler alert. Yeah. Okay. No more spoiler alerts for shows that are 13 years old. Okay, I'm sorry. Back to your 14th century china.

I started the redheads book last night. It's so good. And I can just tell, like, it's gonna be a banger. I'm only 10% in, but, like, it's hard to get into historical eras that are so foreign. Foreign and old. Like, just. It's, what, 700 years ago? And it's so gripping. Not even gripping in, like, a serious way. Just, like, I'm into it, and I really, really like it, and I'm excited. And I've gotten. I've seen so many positive reviews from the community. Like, I think this is going to be a crowd pleaser.

Another win for the redheads. Nothing new here.

And, like, bettering ourselves, learning, like, learning about a new time and place. I've never read about this time and place. I could see myself, like, going down a rabbit hole after even. Just, like, the stuff about like, the binding of the feet is so fascinating.

Yes.

Yeah. Like, serious.

What is that?

Anything. It's like a symbol. I mean, I'll learn more. I don't know that much, but it's a symbol of status. It's a status symbol. Like, you know, to get your feet, like, as tight, like, to get your toes to go to your heel and then, like, to have, like, a tiny slit in between that, like, you could barely, like, fit a coin into. And then, you know, the people who are like, servants are, I think, slaves because they're being bought and sold. Like, they describe them as big footed. So it's like, bad to have a big foot.

Oh, man.

And it's good and respectable to have a small foot. And so you make your foot smaller and smaller, and you're literally, like, rearranging your bones.

No, stop. That really gives me the willies.

It was. It was willy inducing, like, the way.

You just described it. Like, I actually could.

But also, it's, like, so harmful for your feet and your body. Like, infections develop, bones poke out, and you keep them bound like it was. And the protagonist of the story, it's a true, it's based on a true story about a real woman. She is right now in the book, she's eight, but she will become a doctor. She's like a female doctor of that time who's very impressive.

Amazing. Well, stay tuned. Stay up to date with the redheads on Instagram at the redheads. And it's truly never too late.

Never too late. We record next week, so it's still not too late to read the book and submit a question to the redheadsbookclubmail.com dot.

She said what she said.

I did say. And I feel like so many redheads choices, like you've now read.

Yes, I have.

It's a strong bunch.

It is. There's something for everyone. Of course, there's the New York Times bestseller, girl with no job, the crazy beautiful life of an Instagram. First, Munster, my memoirs, which are available to buy wherever you buy books. I feel like I don't talk about enough that I wrote a book.

So just reminder, reminder. Also, it's camp season, and if you have a young one who's headed off to camp, day camp, sleepaway camp for the first time, any sort of camp, I have a book for that, and it's called the Camper and the counselor. It's available on Amazon or anywhere you get your books. And it's the beautiful story of a girl conquering her fears, going to camp, finding the love of a counselor and never looking back.

Exactly.

So check it out.

Now, Jax, would you describe the word, the words. Would you describe the stories for me in three words?

I don't know if I could do three words, but I could do.

That's what I asked.

I could do, like, a synopsis I didn't ask for. I feel like today's. No, well, I don't. I'm.

I don't give a rip.

Out the window. I don't give a rip. I feel like today's stories are, like, what people want us to talk about more so than, like, you know, the usual that I go for.

Okay, so it's giving, catering to the audience.

It's giving, catering to the audience. Yeah.

I love that.

Let's see how it goes.

Let's see how that goes. Well, I could talk to you about just about anything, jacks. I'm not worried.

Oh, I never said I was worried. I just thought I was. I mean, usually we can, like, toaster interests, our interests, shaking hands emoji, but there are just, like, some celeb update sort of from this week that we hadn't touched on because there were a lot of stories. So now it's time.

In the words of whoever's narrating lion King, it is time.

Yeah. We also have some content news. The shows are making news these days. Like, Kardashians dropped at midnight.

They really need to, like, do better with that whole time schedule. Either release it on Thursday, like, you're supposed to, not Wednesday at midnight, or if you're gonna do Wednesday night, 09:00.

P.M. i don't want to complain about it every week, but every week, it frustrates me when I see all of these headlines of, like, kind of these big spoilers bombshells being dropped. Now, I don't even care about the spoilers, but it's like, oh, wow, that would be a great story, except I didn't watch the whole episode, so, like, I want to know the whole context.

No, it's extremely annoying. Like, seriously, do better.

They're not going to. We've been saying this, like, for five seasons now.

Well, it must be working for them. That's why.

Or they're not listening.

Does it drop on Hulu West coast at 09:00 p.m. or they also have to wait till midnight? I wonder that, Morgan.

I wonder that. Probably also wait. It's probably still Thursday for them to be out.

Annoying. Yeah, well, on Netflix, when something drops at midnight, here we get it at 03:00 a.m. so maybe it actually goes to the west coast at 09:00 p.m. sound off in the comments. You live in the west coast. What time does Hulu drop the Kardashians new episodes for you?

Yeah, let us know. So that's about it. Turteloo.

Yeah, I guess.

Um, now, I think, without further ado, we can get into the fast side stories that I think people are gonna be very pleased with.

I'm excited.

Now, you've kind of described the stories in three words.

People pleasing stories.

People. Oh, people. People apostrophe ll be pleased.

Mmm. I don't know. A conjunction is a little bit of a. It's a loophole.

It works.

It works. I agree. It's. It's all fair in love and loopholes and.

Love and conjunctions.

Conjunctions junction. What's your function?

A conjunction really is a love story.

Jackie, that's beautiful.

Me as a grammar teacher.

Oh, my God. Not you. Romanticizing grammar.

I mean, nobody loves grammar more than you. Nobody loves a comma.

No, I don't love grammar. I love punctuation.

You love punctuation. Like, when it comes, like Oxford commas. Like, should we add the extra comma if it's optional? Charity hits comma button.

Yeah, that's like that meme. No, like, whenever we do the titles. Whenever we do the titles, I'm a Jack's comma. She's like, no, I love commas.

Maybe today's title, in honor of attorney, could be like, comma, written out, comma, comma, and then written out.

No, no. It should be like a list of punctuations, all separated by commas, like periods, comma, commas, comma, and exclamations and apostrophes, something of that nature, something. Today's title will utilize Turdy's favorite punctuation marks. Maybe it'll just be like a period, a comma, an exclamation point, and a question mark.

Yeah. I don't know how great that is for SEO, but it's fun for us.

I can't keep living for the SEO jacks. Like, I'm a creative like this.

The SEO stifled. Yeah, because we're such creatives.

You said it.

And I just have one song to sing.

Jackie, jackie. 35 seconds ago, I meant to sing that, but I forgot, and then we.

Like, I've literally been sitting here with my mouth open, like, come, come. Married to either coded so dirate. Thinking of her rip to the marriage.

She's still alive.

Separated. Will they get back together? Will they? Won't they? Now, without further ado about commas, here are the fast five stories that you need to know.

And the fast five stories that you need to know are brought to you by wayfair. Your home, speaking of creativity, is your creative canvas. It's basically an expression of your unique styles. And only Wayfair has everything that you need to bring your vision to life. It is the place to shop for everything home. From sofas and beds to dining sets and decor, they help you create a place to gather with friends and family so you can be a happy resident of the weberhood. My home has recently had some Wayfair deliveries because it's that time of year. We need to get our outdoor space, you know, locked and loaded. And I was actually inspired by one Jackie. Oh, I know she has some amazing outdoor furniture. My favorite place to sit in your house outside, well, actually, in the entire house is Wayfair furniture that you got this great set. So when I was looking for outdoor furniture. Yeah, that's right. I have a balcony. Yeah. Okay. Elite. I immediately went to Wayfair. I got this amazing set. It's like a five piece set. It comes with two ottomans, two chairs and a table. So reasonably priced, so well made.

They do offer assembly. I decided to assemble it myself. I thought I could take it on and I did, by the way. It really wasn't a big deal, but that was a brave choice of me. I'm not going to lie.

Extremely brave. I always go for the assembly.

Morgan, Wayfair is your go to destination for everything home. There's a waiverhood for every zip code. It's brought to life by everyone who makes their home truly their own. With Wayfair, they have a huge selection of home goods ranging from appliances and area rugs to beds and wall art. Just when you think they're not going to sell something on Wayfair, they do. They have, you know, brands that you might be familiar with. They have very top tier brands, like I bought Jonathan Adler from them. They also have brands you might not have heard of. It's great for discoverability. Some of my favorite home decor brands I only know because I shop them on Wayfair. And now it's like a brand I'll always search when I go to Wayfair.

They make one of my favorite things to get from Wayfair. If I just might give a tip to the mamas are outdoor placed areas, water tables, PlayStation, sandboxes. They have the goods.

Every style is welcome in the way. Visit wayfair.com wayfair.com Wayfair every style, every home today's episode is also brought to you by a new sponsor, Huckberry. Father's Day is coming up, and finding the perfect gift for a dad in your life can be even tougher. So whether your dad has it all or you feel like you gift him the same thing every year, the struggle to pick the perfect gift in a sea of Father's Day promos is really real. You know, we're just girls trying to survive. And shopping for Father's Day is probably one of the hardest things. Whether it's, like, your husband or your actual father. Like, men are just so, so hard to shop for. And I feel like everybody goes for, like, the same three gifts, and it becomes, like, cringe and sort of, like, cheesy. Like, oh, new things for your grill. Like, thanks. Huckberry is great because everything on their website is so cool. It's not corny, it's not lame. And they put together a really, actually good. Thank you. Yes, very good gift guide from Huckberry. So they carry brands like Yeti. They have really cool, not like, corny t shirts.

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Our first story. Pregnant Hailey Bieber showing off her new one and a half million dollar engagement ring after her vow renewal with Justin.

I didn't say that. Brb.

Yeah. Hailey has some new bling in her life. The model who announced that she's expecting her first child with Justin Bieber flaunted the shiny new sparkler that was worn on her left ring finger. In new photos posted on Instagram last week, she appeared to upgrade her original oval shaped ring, sporting an enormous diamond in the same shape on her left.

My God.

So it looks like she's wearing her new a million dollar diamond ring on her left hand and then her old one on her right hand, which was also an impressive diamond oval engagement.

Yeah, she made it into like a pinky ring or something.

Yeah. Okay.

That's so crazy because I think, like, her original ring was like the standard for everyone. Like everyone's inspo, everyone was obsessed with it and it was like perfect and gorgeous. And the fact that she now has a new one is so crazy. It's literally stunning.

I do worry for, like, safety.

Her safety? Like, for real. Like, I think we all learned a lot from Kim Kardashian's robbery.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, of course your mind goes there, but it's just, like, upsetting to talk about. I'd rather just, like, talk about the pretty jewelry.

For sure. I would love to, you know, sit in dilly dally, talk about how beautiful the ring is. But I worry for my girl. Like, it just reminds me.

Yes. No.

Not to be toxic.

No, no, no. I know. Yeah. I'm glad that she's stuck with the same shape, though. It, like, shows that she likes it, you know?

Yeah. That's so true. Like, zero mistakes. It looks like it's paired with, like, a pretty little diamond band around it.

Yeah. And it's on a gold band.

Yeah. Mixing metals, I guess. Mixing metals is officially in Haley Bieber's of approval.

Yeah. Nice for her. They also did their vow renewal, and that was, like, what was part of their pregnancy announcement. They renewed their vows, and I think that's why she got a new ring.

Yeah.

Which is all very sweet and lovely.

So do you still get a push present when you get a one and a half million dollar pregnancy gift?

Yeah. It's not in lieu of. Especially if you're given, like, million dollar gifts. Like, you're not gonna skimp on the big one.

No. That's really crazy.

I wonder what she'll get for that.

What do you think she'll get? I have no idea. What do you get the girl who has everything?

Yeah. She'll find something.

Do celebrities do push presents?

I think they invented push presents.

Oh, did they?

I think that's a very celebrity thing to do.

Oh, cool, right? I don't know. I.

Does everyone do push presents? Is a better question.

Yeah.

I feel like just a nice little thing doesn't have to be so crazy.

But knowledge, you need, like, a diamond necklace, but, like, hey, you just shoved out a baby.

Here's something that I think you'd like.

Here's a gift card. Like, anything.

Whatever it is. Anything.

Yeah, I think nor. I think it should be for everyone.

I think so, too. And you should demand it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our next story? Which has been kind of a crazy saga that has wrapped up, but not without eliciting a lot of questions.

Okay.

Ryan Sutter says he and his wife, Trista, are trying to do their best following her cryptic absence.

Yeah. She, like, disappeared.

Yeah. So Ryan and Trista are doing their best amid concerns of trouble in paradise, following Tristan's mysterious absence. Concerns that were raised after he posted something really fucking weird.

Don't put this on us.

Yeah, we didn't like. And certainly not us. But I don't even think it was, like, sleuths, like, digging around, looking to see where Trista is. Like, he put out a Mother's day statement that was really weird and pointed to, like, where in the world is Trista Sutter?

Read it to us.

Right. So this is what he said. Hold on.

They make it so difficult in these articles.

Oh, Claudia, you know, just post it. Okay. The cryptic Mother's Day post. Hold on. I'm on it. I'm on.

No, they make you.

Here it is. I know you wish you were here for Mother's Day. We wish you were, too. But sometimes being a mom means letting go of their hands, granting independence, and stimulating their courageous spirit. Sometimes it's necessary to exemplify the characteristics you preach to do, rather than say, sometimes it takes being uncomfortable and scared to show them that it's okay to be uncomfortable and scared. Sometimes you have to go away so they know you'll come back. That your love is not limited by distance or difficulty or time. Sometimes you have to do what you sometimes have to do. We're proud of you, mama pajama, for everything you do for us, near or far. Happy Mother's Day.

So it sounds like, seriously, like she went to go get help for something.

Yes.

It sounds like she went away to either, like, a rehab or a mental health facility. That's what it sounds like. And seriously, if you didn't want people asking questions, like, you're inviting this sort of attention with that type of Mother's Day post.

Of course, it was also for some people, like, giving death.

Yeah, well, the first line. Read it again.

We wish you were here with us.

Rip.

Rip. So people were, like, concerned and then didn't know where she was. And then it went on for a few days before, like, she came back and was like, hey, I'm here. She did go away to focus on herself somewhere, but, like, I think she should be able to do that without people knowing that she's away. Like, if I was her and I got home and I saw that that's what he posted while I was gone.

Jill jail. Yeah. I had this realization a couple of years ago, and I feel like it's a lesson you have to learn the hard way when you share details of your life with the public. But you don't have to share everything.

Especially if you're not sharing, because this was a not share share.

Yeah. And then it kind of, like, forced her to share.

Yeah, like, don't give everyone crumbs. They weren't even hungry.

Yeah. I'm just, like, a big fan of, like, sometimes keeping your thoughts to yourself.

Yeah, that was really weird. Sometimes you have to do what's best for you. Sometimes.

No, it's really strange.

Mama, mama, Trista pajama.

Oh, well, then the sort of callback to red Mama pajama, my least favorite book on the planet.

It's not the worst one, Claudia. And I've really, actually been getting into it recently.

Let me tell you why. First of all, what is the message of the book?

Okay, we're talking about llama, llama, red pajama.

That one.

Because there's a bunch of spin offs that have better.

Isn't llama, llama, red pajama, the original book that launched this franchise?

And the name of the Netflix show is llama, llama, red Pajama.

So, first of all, I don't think that the illustrations are, like, cute enough.

Like, it's not camper and counselor.

It's very avant garde, almost. Like it's kind of dull. The colors. Like, I don't think it pops.

Okay. And I would say, for me, it lands in the middle. If the other end of the extreme of, like, abstract not popping is, like, the giving tree.

Yeah.

Nothing.

But I think the giving trees actual. And this is being.

It's resting on the laurels of its message.

No, the message is about, you know, material items. And so if they were to come in with all these crazy fucked, you know, it's kind of reflective, emblematic of, you, will, of the moral of the story, which is like, less is more.

I think shell wrote the story, realized he had a banger on his hands and didn't want to shell out for an illustrator. And he's keeping it all.

I think he worked extra hard to find an illustrator who could illustrate the actual message of the book. I'm being dead serious.

Who could pare down? Who could pare it down?

So, wait, back to red llama. Problematic. For one. I don't like the illustrations, but I guess art is subjective, so that's just me. The message of the book really bothers me because you can actually argue both sides. Like, one is mama llama neglecting her child, or two, are we sending a message to the children? If you scream and cry, you'll get what you want. They're both toxic whichever way you argue. The kid is screaming upstairs. Screaming upstairs. Mom's on the phone doing the dishes, gabbing on the phone with her friends. Your kid is having a fucking breakdown upstairs. Something could be wrong. Get your ass upstairs. Then I could also argue. Kid, shut the fuck up. There's literally nothing wrong. It's time for bed. You screaming, crying, throwing up, and then your mom, like, running upstairs. It's the boy who cried wolf. It's the llama who cried wolf.

I also. I need to know how old Lama is. Like, is he too old to be acting that way?

He's sleeping in a bed. He's not in a crib.

Right. Was how to show him. How old is that? It varies for people. Three, four, but it could be. Although he could be twelve, right in his bed. But he has a little stuffed animal, so maybe he's, like, six.

I just. I don't like the book.

Like, maybe she was trying to show him, like, you know, let him cry it out a little. And then he was weeping, wailing for his mama. So she goes to help him and to show him, like, mama's always here and mom always comes back. That was the moral of the story. It's like, even though you're scared to be alone, like, your mom is always there. I don't know.

Just, like, gossip girl downstairs gabbing on the phone when your kid is, like, having serious issues. I don't know. What message does that send? Cause to me, it read as neglect.

To me, it read as, like, mama's been working hard all day, putting llama, llama on her back, making him sourdough food from scratch, and, like, it's bedtime and now it's her time.

No, of course. So then you could argue the other side. Like, we're enabling this type of toxic behavior from our children. You could seriously argue any side of this book.

Yeah. No, I agree. Like, when I read it, I'm not left with the greatest feeling, and I'm certainly not left with the takeaway message of, like, mama's always here. I'm either left with feeling like Mama shouldn't have left him screaming, or, like, if you're gonna take that stance, like, you gotta ride it out, not give him what he wants.

What do you think goes in the hall of fame of children's books? Obviously the giving tree. What's that one? Obviously the camper and the counselor. What's that one? Wish you may. Wish you might. You know. She's holding him. He's holding her. You know that one?

I love you forever.

Always, my baby. What is it?

I love you forever. Like, always, my baby. Forever you'll be.

Forever you'll be that to me, goes in the hall of fame.

Yeah, that's a good one. But people have issues with it. It always, like, surfaces every once in a while. Like, this is creepy. Cause at the end, like, he's holding his little granny mama.

It's so fucking sweet. And anybody who thinks anything different, also.

Because, like, she climbed. When he's a grown man, she climbs up the side of his house and gets into bed with him.

Yeah. If you're disgusting, like, you could see the book in a disgusting way. I don't view the world that way. I'm more of, like, a purist, if you will. So, yeah, if you want to make perfect the enemy of the good, sure. Go off queen to me. That book is in the hall of fame. It is.

It's beautiful. It's about the circle of life.

No, it's so sweet, it can make you cry. Like, for real.

Yeah. It's so funny how, like, the classics, you buy them because that's what's done. But they actually. Most of them, like, don't really resonate the ones that you think are gonna, like, really hit. I mean, rainbow Fish, written by Karl Marx himself.

More like communist fish.

No, it's like the other fish were communists.

Yeah. No.

Indoctrinated.

I think the message of rainbow fish is, like, bullying works. Group think is real.

Yeah.

Herd mentality.

Herd mentality. School of fish mentality.

Literally.

Yeah. No, and then what are the other biggies? We've got them, but the ones that we wind up, like, really gravitating towards are ones that I hadn't heard of.

Yeah.

Before I bought them, for whatever reason, they popped on the shelf.

Right.

And again, it better rhyme.

And that's one I. As long as I've been, you know, ragging on llama, llama that iambic pentameter. That rhyme is so sick. I seriously, like, the world's leading rapper to come in here and be like, llama, llama.

Claudia, I just wanted to say, you need to google right now. Ludacris. Llama, llama, red pajama.

Did he do a song?

Did a video? Because he was like, I guess reading to his kid, and he had the same thought as you, and it's. You'll never get this out of your head.

Okay, wait, he did it on a radio show? Is that what I'm looking at?

Was that. Yeah, I think so.

Power 106, Los Angeles, perhaps llama, llama repa Jama Lucas is here hey, llama, llama replied his mama hey, mama kisses. What baby hair mama llama goes all the way downstairs hey, llama, llama what? Red pajama, pajama feels alone with who without his mama, baby. Llama obsessed. This is the type of activism I need from celebrities. Like, this is gorgeous.

Llama.

Llama who? Red pajama? No, no. Obsessed. Cause that's literally how I, like, read it. Like, when I was reading, I was like, this is sick. This is amazing. I love that video. I'm gonna watch the whole thing. That wasn't the whole thing, but I hope you all enjoyed that. Yeah.

So go check it out. If you're looking for a little pick me up.

No. Like, I'm obsessed with Ludacris. That's so funny.

So funny. Right?

Llama, llama. Oh, red pitch. That's kind of like when. Who was that? Tyler the creator did the Grinch.

Oh, yeah. Well, he was on the soundtrack.

Yeah, I love that. That they're. Because, like, kids shit, like, really is inherently rap. You know, it's like freestyle rhyme poetry. Right? Yeah, I love this.

Yeah.

Even though I wasn't crazy about every time you play that Tyler the creator Grinch soundtrack, I'm not crazy about it. I think they could go back.

No, I feel as though it could be better.

Yeah. But I love the idea.

Yeah. The remix. But the classic one. You're a mean one, mister. Grinch. Jim Carrey is, like, still the number one, but they had some fun with it.

I actually like their version. It's all over TikTok.

Is it?

You're a mean one. You really are a he.

You're a sweet as a knee.

Done. Actually, I like what they did there.

I know, but then there's another one on the soundtrack. It's called I am the Grinch. I don't know who I'm gonna disgrace when I say it. And it literally, like, phoned it in. It's like they. I am the Grinch. Cindy Lou who? My dog is Max. Like, just, like, stating facts about the book, like, nothing.

No creative liberties.

And then, of course, I know you hate to discuss them, but Pentatonix got.

A resty merry gentleman with nothing you to say. Remember Grinch, our savior our savior was born on Christmas day so that one.

Pops on the soundtrack.

No. By the way, I. I don't know if I've ever, like, formally retracted what I've said about Pentatonix. They just used to bother me. They were always, like, showing up in, like, corny places, and I was definitely just, like, judging a book by its cover. I thought they were, like, corny based on, like, no research, just vibes, which sometimes, you know, is a fair assessment. But this time it wasn't because they do such amazing work. I actually saw them perform live at the jingle ball. They did their rendition of hallelujah, which is insanely gorgeous. But seriously, like, you want to talk about skill? You want to talk about talent, you want to talk about genius? Listen to their. There can be miracles. Like, their version seriously could bring a tear to even an atheist's eye. Like, it's so gorgeous.

Yeah, it's really true. That's sweet of you to say.

They put their whole penta pussy into that one. Yeah, they have pentussie, I think. Pentatussy. Yeah. Penta tussie.

Okay, well, are you ready for our next story?

Sure.

Something that has made major news and waves over social media this week is that Hailey Paige, the wedding dress designer, has settled her loss with JLM over her name and designs and everything. So, basically, for the last few years, Hailey Paige, the wedding dress designer, could not design under her name, could not post on her Instagram account, because the brand that she had been working with, JLM couture.

And by the way, if you're unfamiliar, like, who's Haley Page? Like, there was a time when every bitch, like, needed and wanted a Haley. It was, like, the ultimate status symbol. So for her to have, like, gotten that, like, it was such a big deal, and I actually felt bad because when it happened, everybody was like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. But then nobody really, like, I think, kept up, maybe a couple of people, but there wasn't as much fanfare and, like, support for her because this literally is a lawsuit that lasted how many years? Four.

Yeah.

And I think people just kind of, like, forgot about it. And that's really sad because she had, like, such a major company. But she won, right?

She won. She got a lot of, like, legal precedents set, she said, and she pretty much, like, won on every count. So she has her Instagram back, which has over a million followers. She can design under her own name, Hailey Page. She can call herself Hailey Page. Like, I think that deal that she did with JLM, like, gave them everything, which is also just a, you know, a good lesson for people to learn. Read the fine print, the Haley page name, and social media accounts back to Hailey Page, and now she can design wedding dresses again. I'm sure she has probably so many designs that she's been working on over the last few years.

I'm really rooting for her. I do wonder what her dresses, like, look like now, because when she was really popular, it was very, like, trendy and of the moment, very beachy. Energy. Like, all the girls with long, blonde hair were just dying for a Haley page. But, you know, trends change, especially in, like, the wedding industry. Like, so I wonder if she's gonna still design for that or if she's totally changed her vibe.

I feel like she will evolve into what's more trendy now, but she'll still have her Hailey page stamp of approval sort of thing. Like, they won't be so dissimilar, but, you know, no one's just stays where they are.

They.

They move and change with the times.

Kind of a big day to be named Haley.

Yeah. Lots of Haley news.

I'm happy for you. Love to see a woman in business.

Yeah. You love to see legal precedent being set and people being able to own their names. Like, that's your name. It's crazy that, like, you can't even use your name.

Well, that's, like, Bobby Brown.

What happened with Bobby?

Well, nothing happened. She sold her company, I think, to estee Lauder. So it's, like, this huge conglomerate, and I do. They put, like, a ten year, maybe more. She can't make makeup with her name on it, which kind of makes sense. Like, how do you. Then, yes, it's her name, but, like, this company paid, like, nine figures. No, no, probably, like, seven or eight for a makeup company with this person's name. So if she just goes and uses her face and her name to make another makeup company, then it just, like, devalues the one she just sold.

Yeah, that makes sense.

Yeah.

Has that been a scandal, that she can't use her name, or it's just.

No. So, then she released her own makeup company, and I think there was, like, an x amount of time that she could release a makeup company. And, like, the day that that set of time statute of limitations was up, she released Jones Road. She can't, I don't think, ever make makeup with her name on it. But Jones Road is the name of her new company.

Okay. I think that's fair.

Yeah, me too.

Business.

Yeah, same.

Yeah. Cool. Our next story, a bit of real estate news. An update from. Story from last week about Sonia Morgan's townhouse selling at auction. It has finally sold for $4.45 million after a two week online or auction wrapped up on Wednesday. So that is about half of the original listing price, which was $9.95 million.

As we go on, we remember all the times we. This is truly the end of an era. And I knew it was up for auction. I knew the house was being sold. But, like, I don't know why. Like, I didn't think it was actually gonna be because it's kind of like this joke. Like, she can't get rid of it. You can't get rid of it. Like, Sony Morgan doesn't own the townhouse anymore. Like, that's crazy.

Yeah, it is. And the buyer got a really good price.

Right. She bought it for what?

Seven, nine?

Well, she. That's the magic of this house was that her ex husband paid for it.

Right, right. But, like, I wonder if she. The bank at one point was like, did she own it outright?

She. I think she got it in the divorce. So it was kind of like this thing she was sitting on that she.

Gets 4.4 or $5 million in her pocket, I think.

So.

That's good.

Yeah.

Okay. That's good. It's time.

It's also just an amazing price for, you know, a classic six on the Upper east side.

Yeah, but it requires a lot of renovation. Yeah, but there's so much you could do with it.

And I do wonder, like, you know, who purchased it. Of course, I respect the privacy of the buyer at this time, but does the history that and the cultural context that comes along with it, does that entice the buyer? Do they not care?

Like, I don't know, but as we discussed, I think it has an opposite effect.

Yeah, no, it definitely hurt the purchase price.

You could even, like, renovate it and make it an Airbnb. Not for, like, Bravo fans, but, like, just for anyone. Because people don't care if they rent Sonya Morgan's townhouse for a period of time.

No. Even someone who could rent a townhouse, like, they're coming to New York for x amount of time and they could rent a whole ass townhouse. Wealthy people, like, don't want this type of attention. They look down on, like, reality star kind of, like, b list and. Right.

But if you just, like, saw it on a rental site and it was totally changing. You never watched housewives. Like, you wouldn't know.

Yeah, but, like, it would. You would soon find out with people, like, stopping by and, like, taking pictures of your house. Yeah, well, like, people who can afford that are extremely private.

Yeah. So. But, I mean, it's a great deal. Like, who, if you're an investor, right? I want to pass up this deal.

No, it's so true. But, like, how much time do you need to own it before you can sell it without those sort of strings attached?

I think it would never. It's not like people stand outside all day. Like, I think it's okay. And as more time passes, the less interest there will be. Like, it's just like a woman's house from an old show.

Every time I walk past it, I just, like, take a picture of myself. Like a selfie, but with it, but in the back, like I always do.

Yeah, that's. That's fine. I don't think, like, people, like. Like, it's not.

You think people, like, knock on the door and shit?

No. And there's a gate, kind of, like.

You can just open it.

But there's a million houses. Like, anyone who's been on tv, like, their house.

Yeah.

Is on tv. Like, it just.

It is what it is.

It's a way of the world.

It's so crazy.

Yeah. Well, I'm happy that that's the end of that.

Well, I don't know how I feel. I wouldn't say I'm happy. I'm nostalgic, if you will.

Yeah. Yeah. Are you ready for our fifth and final story? A little more content news, I guess. The summer house reunion trailer dropped. The season finale is tonight, but the reunion trailer dropped. And there are some bombshells. West Wilson hints that temptation from female Bravo fans ruined his romance with Sierra Miller.

That's so upsetting. Like, seriously?

Yeah, that is. And really crazy. Did you also. I also wanted to say, did you see that he was, like, profiled in the New York Times?

I did. And I was, like, excited to, like, see the hype of Wes west. What the hell is his name?

I feel like his given name is west and his nickname is Wes. That's how I see it.

So I saw before I caught up on summer, I was like, everybody's simping for Wes. And I was like, oh, my God, love. And they were saying he's, like, a good guy, good guy. And while I like him and I think his personality is great and he adds a lot to the show. Like, he's not this, like, chivalrous king. Like, him saying to whoever it was that, like, he couldn't really be exclusive with Sierra because they hadn't had sex. Like, ill. Yeah. Like, respect to Sierra for not, like, I. What? So it's like pressuring someone. It's having sex with you to get what they want. Like, I don't like that at all. And I don't know. He kind of gives, like, a little bit of fuck boy energy. I don't know why we're, like, looking past that. Because he's, like, cute with the mustache.

Yeah, I agree. Also, I feel like whenever, like, serious media will like, ignore reality tv for so long and then, like, get so excited and focus on this guy who's been on eight episodes. We, like, don't even know him. He's having a good arc because, like, Sierra's making him look good because Sierra likes him. And, like, where's the profile on page? Like, where's profile on Sierra?

I completely fucking agree. Like, where's the profile? I'm like, how sick it is at what's happening with the girls on southern. Southern house. What's it called? Summer house. Like, how, like, Lindsay and, like, I think that story and how they're all getting along, but it's the best season yet. Like, what can we learn from that? That's an article worth reading. New York Times. And I don't want to clown. I, like, actually like Wes. But you're right. Like, they never get the attention of, like, elite media. And when they do, it's the new guy who's, like, kind of being a dick.

Right. Who, like, has funny proven himself. No, but he's. He's been fine. But, like, hasn't. We don't know him.

No, and seriously, after seeing Jesse Solomon's original song, that's a profile worth writing.

And his back, his story that he has shared. I'm sure west has an interesting story, but, like, we've seen so much. Jesse Solomon has been really vulnerable.

Yep. No. And, like, every. Every 24 hours, I'm, like, in the kitchen. What would Jesse Solomon do? Like, obsessed.

Yeah.

It's just, like, I'm so glad you brought that up. And I wouldn't have made the other castmates feel who've been, like, carrying the show on their backs for seven seasons.

Right. And I feel like a lot of times, someone comes in, has a really strong first season. In the second season, it's, like, not so much. I would just, like, have waited to give the New York Times stamp of approval until we actually.

If the New York Times was always writing about summer house and this would have been, like, a worthy.

Of course.

It's like, the one thing you're gonna mention is the new guy who, like, kind of. Like, he's been, like. He's been doing a lot.

He's cute, and he's fine.

It's different. Like, he has a mustache and a mullet or whatever.

Like, and he has a good personality and people like him.

Such a good friend to Jesse. I love their friendship. Cool.

We see good friends all the time.

Yeah. No, I. I thought it was weird, too.

Yeah. There's just, like, so many other interesting angles for reality tv for this show. Like, for Bravo.

Yeah.

Weird.

What was the story? Oh, so what else came out?

Trailer. Reunion trailer.

What came from the trailer is what I'm saying.

Oh, so that is one of the big headlines then. Also, of course, Lindsay and Carl. Is Carl scared of Lindsey? Yes. Lindsey seeing someone new who hasn't watched the show, I feel like when people talk about Lindsay, like, be. And Andy was like, oi. Because he hasn't watched a show yet. And I guess if he saw what's on the show, he would. I never watched Summer house when Lindsey was this sort of indefensible, crazy person. Maybe I need to. No, I'm not going to.

She's evolved. Like, she's grown up. She. And the thing is, is that, like, a lot of the crazies, like, things that people associate with Lindsey, her PowerPoint. You never make me a sandwich. Like, a lot of her crazy behavior is, like, in relationships, like, romantic ones.

Who never made her a sandwich.

Steven, she's had so many boyfriends on the show. Like, when you think about the show started, everett. I remember they came on the show together.

Like, I started the first season until I dropped off.

Everett recently got married. Lindsey was there, and I think Everett's wife is pregnant. Like, so nice.

Everett.

Yeah. And then Steven, who was the sandwich guy, and I think also the PowerPoint guy. I don't know. Like, say what you want about Lindsay. Like, she has never been anything other than herself, and she has been so honest. Remember was that last season when she talked about the miscarriage she had with the guy from winter house? Like, so real.

Yeah. Also, I wanted to ask maybe, you know, but I don't. Like. Cause I didn't watch. What's more life?

I have no fucking idea.

But you've seen it. Like, it's like, more life, Carl. Cause I guess one time he said more life. What was he talking about?

None of the. You are speaking chinese to me.

I'm not talking about. So they have a sign in their house that says more life because it's like, you know, one of his taglines from when he said more life.

I've never heard of it.

And they'll talk about, like, more life, carl.

Carl.

Like, just like, they'll talk about hub, whatever, you know, like, oh, I wanted.

To talk about that. I was just talking about that with someone. You know, Lindsay, like, bought a house in Nashville, like a townhouse and renovated it and made it into, like, an Airbnb where people can, you know, everyone who goes to Airbnb who goes to Nashville for, like, a bachelorette party girls trip. Everybody stays in an Airbnb. It's like a huge market there, and a lot of people bought real estate, young people, and it's, like, passive income for them. So it's like a really smart business decision of hers. But she's also, like, branded it, like, stay in the house of a summer house. I think it's so smart. Smart.

It's so smart.

I've never seen any other. Every reality star. Like, there's, like, sort of a template of things you can do, you know, start your own business, podcast, whatever. I've never seen anybody do this. I think it's so smart because I think the. Even without the reality show, buying an Airbnb in a town like Nashville with, like, a. You know, a lot of tourism is a really smart business decision. And branding it with this show, like, I think it's genius, right?

Because also she's outfitted it so that, like, fans of the show are into it. It's called Hub House, but also I've seen pictures and it's like, anyone who's going on a bachelorette party who wants, like, neon signs and a pool table, it's just, like, lit. And you don't have to be a fan of the show to rent it. It is really genius.

No, I thought it was so smart. It, like, made me want to do toast house. Like, if we just had an Airbnb that was, like, so toasty, everybody, like, bachelorette parties for people who don't listen to the toast could, like, it's so smart.

It's really, like, kind of a no brainer, except it seems like a lot.

Of work, but, yeah, it does.

Aren't all good things anything worth doing?

I'm excited for summer house. I forgot that was on tonight. I need to, like, now think about what I'm gonna have for dinner and, like, plan my whole evening around it. Maybe get a frozen yogurt.

What am I gonna have for dinner? What protein am I gonna make for my tailored farms?

I know what I'm gonna have because last I, Ben made chicken lettuce wraps, and we have so much leftover, and he's gone. So I'm gonna have that in a hero bread tortilla.

Last night I made meatballs and I still have some. I could do that if I don't wanna, like, get down and dirty again.

Yeah, I mean, you might not want to. You might just sort of ease into.

Summer house, but with the full belly. Otherwise, I'll just be snacking the whole time. Classic me. That's my downfall. Like those evening snacks. I don't know how to put a lid on it. I know, but it's just like I'm sabotaging myself.

I know.

Whatever.

Let's not go. Let's not go down that dark path. So we do have dear toasters, which I have kind of not been teasing, just kind of like, hyping it up a lot. It is really good. I'm really excited to do it. And I'm excited to let you know that dear toasters is brought to you by. By heart, which is a new sponsor here at the show that Jackie and I have been loving discussing.

We have been, because by heart, if you don't know, is an infant nutrition company built from the ground up to deliver real innovation on behalf of babies and parents. Their mission is simple. Make the best formula in the world. So by heart makes baby formula. And their whole thing is they never skim. First off, it's made with whole milk ingredients. They do not skim in that department. It's just made with the best ingredients. And they're not skimming on what's best for you and your pebba. It's also made with grass fed whole milk, which is so important. And I love this concept.

I like that we're going back to whole milk, like very trad wife. I like that sort of. What did you say? Slow living.

Slow living. And their whole ethos is never skimming, which I feel like sums up parenting, especially, like, the younger that they are. You just want to give them the best of everything. And it's so funny how, like, you might skim on yourself, but you will never skim when it comes to your child and what is best for them. So I find, like. But it's so funny how I now never skim. And the ways and the things that I used to do a lot, like ordering an avocado toast on postmates. But a few ways in which I never skim on my bebez or non toxic cookware. Like before, who knows what was in my cookware? But now clean, non toxic, nontoxic cleaning.

Products, ceramic coating, spray, those chemicals on the counter.

Right. My cleaning products are clean. And actually, it's spilled over into the way that I take care of myself, like my shampoo and conditioner. Now, I'm not skimming on what ingredients are going into the products that I use on myself. A lot of clean beauty and even, like, taking care of myself in small ways and making room for self care. So that's been really lovely. Also, when it comes to what I'm feeding them, I always go for the grass fed whole milk. Once they're in the milk stage of life. Grass fed is just. That's what I learned recently. You want to go with the grass fed milk? The cows like the grass.

I. Can you blame them?

No, I can't. You know what else I'm not skimming on?

What?

Bread.

Well, that's so true.

So yesterday, I was making a sandwich with my own bread, and I was like, you know what? I just want to see, because I know what ingredients. Cheese sandwich.

Like a grilled cheese?

No, it was a cheese spread.

Okay.

A spreadable cheese.

Okay.

And I was like, I just want to, like, confirm that this is worth all the time and energy. I want to see what ingredients were in the bread that I used to use. So I pulled it out of the fridge and, like, laundry list of ingredients, and I was like, oh, and that's, like, the healthy one, quote unquote, from the store. So I just felt, like, so good about that decision, and it just goes to show the things and the lengths that we'll go to for our children.

Jackie, that's beautiful.

Thank you. La also, by heart is great for baby's digestion. I mean, by heart is great. It's made with great products. It's american made and their standard. Hmm.

America.

America. And their standards are the highest. They use certified clean ingredients. Again, they use whole milk, grass fed, not other products. And that's just really good. That's what we like to see.

Yeah.

So if you are.

Cause you wanna feel good, it's kind of, like, so crazy that you give birth to this child. Everything. Well, in the beginning, obviously, they grow up and become independent, but everything that goes in their body is on you.

Yeah.

It's a lot of responsibility, wouldn't you say?

Yeah. It's definitely a shift in how you think about things, and then you apply.

It to yourself in small ways, and.

Then you end up makes you think, like, of course you think that way for them. And then it makes you start to question things about everything.

Yeah. Like, if it's not good enough for them, why should it be good enough for me?

Right. Or I can make these small changes that will make a big difference, and it's really not a big deal whatsoever.

Yeah.

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Toast 20. Now, thank you by heart for sponsoring this segment of dear toasters, which I just love. Dear toasters. And I specifically love it this week because there's two that are so crazy. They're all good, but like these first two, like, okay, ready?

Yeah. Is this the one for you or for me?

For you. And by the way, like, you know.

You know how to me in weekly.

Advice segment, do you ever want to write in, you're going through something and you need our advice? You can email us deertoastersmail.com or head over to our website, which is the Toast podcast, and both are anonymous. Don't worry and we'll do our best to help you. And if we have helped you and you want to update us on what happened. Did you take our advice? Did you not take our advice? Did you wish you took our advice? Did you wish you didn't take our advice? Send us an update because everybody loves to hear, you know, full circle moments. Even if it's not a happy ending. It's okay. Hey, Jackson Turd. I'm in my third trimester with my second child and I just had my culture swab test. I've been with my husband for eleven years and an STD was detected. I had the test done in my first trimester and both times with my first child and they all came back negative. My husband swears he has never cheated on me. We haven't been with anyone else since 2013 and he has no idea how I could have gotten chlamydia. Now I'm super pregnant. I'm going to give birth in two weeks.

I have a disease and I'm beyond pissed at my husband. I have no idea if he did cheat. I have no reason not to believe him. But I also need to hear how the fuck I have an STD at almost ten months pregnant. If I'm not at work, if I'm not at work, I'm hanging out with, with my almost one and a half year old. So she's basically saying she didn't cheat. My husband and I work together at a restaurant that we own, so I know how much he's at work, too, and everyone there. He does generally work longer hours than I, so I'm normally home before him. Before work, he goes to the gym and every morning for over 2 hours on our off days. Please help from a very confused, emotional.

So she's saying there's a window of opportunity for him.

Yeah. So I feel conflicted because, like, your stress levels and just, like, your mental well being are of the utmost priority. So, like, my advice would be, like, just to not think about this for a few weeks. Like, get your chlamydia taken care of, of course, but, like, you're in your nesting area. Like, you'll figure very, like, how when Khloe found out about Tristan, like, she just sort of, like, shut down to him emotionally and was just focusing on her baby and, like, getting through the birth in the most sound of mind way. And I think that should be a priority.

I disagree. I don't wholly agree. I think that's one way to go about it. Depends. Like, can you get involved in this and not let it, like, completely take over? But I don't know how you could just, like, put this to the side. And I also think that for Chloe, like, she did what she had to do in the moment, but she's, like, still suffering from everything, and maybe because, like, she didn't process it also, I think it's easier to deal with stuff when you're pregnant than when you have a newborn. And then, like, when do you even come out of? When does it get, quote unquote easy? And by then, it's been so long. And has he been cheating this whole time? Like, this is an immediate problem that needs to be solved now. And I would first talk to your doctor and ask your doctor if there is any way on earth that you could get chlamydia anyway, even if it's a 0.001% chance you could get it from the toilet. I don't know. I'm just. Is there any way you could get chlamydia without it being from your husband?

So I. When I read this. I googled it, cuz I, like, you can't. It's a sexually, like, they're transmitted through vaginal. Through genital fluids. So unless he accidentally, like, swiped a vagina and put it on his peanut, like.

Or unless she acted. The doctor's office give Eric Lamidia with their interesting.

That's. But no, no, but you couldn't get it from another woman, I don't think. Oh, actually, why not? Can lesbians get chlamydia?

Like. Yeah, for sure.

Chlamydia and gonorrhea can be passed between women through shared sex toys, hands and the rubbing of vulvas.

Yeah. So I would talk to your doctor first and be like, what are the odds? What are the chances that, like, he did not give it to me? Like, is there a real possibility?

Tell her to be real with you because, you know, she's seen some stuff, you know?

Yeah, right. And then if it shakes out that, like, really the only way you could have gotten it is from him, like, you need to put him in an interrogation room until he either admits it or you go through his phone or you look the cameras at your restaurant and you talk to, like, we need to know if this man gave you chlamydia while you were pregnant.

Let me ask another question. Did we test him for chlamydia?

Great question.

But I don't know if men, some diseases can mention test positive.

Yes. So I think it's like they test positive, but they don't have symptoms.

I think they're just carriers. Oh, yes.

No, again, go get him tested. Like, don't tell him where you're going. Take him to your doctor. Pull him by the ear.

Yeah, but if he knows you, like, how long ago was this? If, you know, like, he might have. Because he has to treat it too. So we might have just gotten like a sly prescription.

True. Well, go to your pharmacy, see what he's filled recently. Like, get to sleuth in. This is the time you absolutely, like, need to get to the bottom of this because that is so. Not only is he cheating on you while pregnant, not having safe sex like.

This goes on so many layers.

Not thinking for cheating, putting your child in your belly in danger. Like, oh, my God.

Yeah, I'm actually in agreement with Jackie. Like, it's such a layered betrayal cannot wait. If true cheating is horrible, cheating on your pregnant wife adds another, like, layer of behemoth energy. Having unsafe, unprotected sex, putting your wife's health in danger, putting the baby in her belly in danger. Like, there's there's so many layers to this betrayal.

So we. We need to confirm that he did this before we kick him to the curb out on his ear. I'm taking the house, the kids in the restaurant, and you can have your chlamydia.

You can have your horse and your chlamydia. Now, about that.

Oh, I hate if true, please send.

Me an update, like, I'm. I'm begging you now. This next one is so crazy.

I need an update, like, today.

Today. Tell me what this next one is. Less severe, but it's not any less crazy. Hey. And she said it's an accompanying screenshot, so I'll read it, but I'll do my best to protect the identity of everyone involved. Hello, swirlies. How would you handle the situation? Am I crazy to be offended? So I got family photos done for a lot of money last fall, and the photographer randomly posted multiple photos for my shoot that she did with this caption for reference. I never once mentioned to her that I was insecure about my looks, and my appearance isn't something that I am upset about or normally triggered by. I do not know her. Besides that, the hour we spent together on pictures, and she just posted three photos of my family on her instagram with this caption, mamas, don't wait until you lose those last ten pounds. I hear this all the time from my mama clients. We are so hard on ourselves. I, too, used to use this as an excuse. And you know what? I regret the years we skipped family photos because I was not 100% happy with my look. Your family loves you no matter what you look like.

I promise you that you will look back on these family photos and they will make you smile and be so happy that you took those photos. Time goes by too quickly. Our kids, yada, yada. There's still time. And then, like, promoting, there's still time left to book a family session while we still have this gorgeous spring. You are 100% justified in being upset. This is literally one of the most discussed. Like, even if you had shared that you were insecure and you're glad you did it, even though you, let's say you had shared that this was your story, her sharing that on her instagram is a violation of just a code of ethics that I think photographers hold. Photographers see you in deeply personal moments, especially, like, you know, I think of, like, a wedding photographer. Like, she's in there with you. Like, photography is so personal, and I think they, most photographers take that vow very seriously. This is a betrayal you need to blow this bitch up. First of all, her using pictures of you, like, on her instagram. No, no.

Like, first of all, you own those pictures and she can't.

It depends what the photographer agreement is. Not everyone does.

But typically, like, when you get, like, photos, wedding photos, like, you own them.

No, typically, like, you have to ask and you sign like a waiver when you hire a photographer and you have to ask, like that, they not use a photo on their website. If you don't want pictures of your family, like, out there. It's not the standard.

Got it. Well, find out who owns them and if you have a right to tell her to take it down. It's so funny because this girl probably thinks that she's like, you know, a female warrior. Like warrior perfect the way you are. And it's like you're the worst. How about that? Like, you think that you're like so empowering and supportive, but like, you're an asshole. Hate jail. Lock her up. I would throw away.

I would.

I don't know what we can actually do by way of getting her to take it down. But, like, you're so right to be offended.

No, no. Send her a message. Like, you need to clock this bitch. And if you want, if she wanted to be vulnerable, like about her journey. Cause she said, I always regret. Put an ugly picture of you on there. Who the fuck is this photographer to you? Somebody else took up. Like, this is so crazy. You are 100% justified. Like, you need to blow this bitch up in the DM's like, so badly.

Yeah, this is like the worst kind of girl.

Yeah.

Who thinks she's like sisters. Come on, we could do it.

Empower.

She's like literally making this woman feel.

Like shit on the neck of another woman.

Hate, hate.

This is so crazy.

Yeah.

Goodbye.

Certainly whatever you could was in within your power. Don't use her again. Do not recommend her. In fact, like, de recommend her.

And honestly, I would post it, but it's like embarrassing for you. Like, why should I have to be embarrassed?

No, I wouldn't.

You have to send her publicly with.

This because also you're giving her more attention. Like, try and handle it privately. Don't give her too much. If it is what it is and you can't do anything about it, let it go and let it be. And just know, like, you're right and she's wrong.

In the screenshot she sent, like, there is the photograph. Like, I literally want to message the photographer. Like, and write, delete this. Yeah, she'd be so confused.

She would yeah, that would be funny.

It's literally insane. All right, ready for the third and final two toasters?

Yeah.

Help. I recently caught my husband smoking. We've been married for twelve years, and I'm very anti tobacco smoking of any kind. I've had suspicions before, but never had anything concrete to base it on for context. I went looking for my husband around our house one day and I found him outside hiding in a corner, sharing a cigarette with his mother. I lost my shit, took the kids and left. All he had to say was, last time I checked, I'm over 18. I feel like I can't trust him anymore. And I feel so disrespected. This is and always has been a non negotiable for me. I can't even stand to look at him now. This isn't something I can get over, but how do I move forward? Thanks.

This is tough for me to advise because that would not bother me. What would bother me is, like, the secretness, but of course, he feels like he has to do it in secret because it's such a deal breaker for you.

Yeah. I can't relate to this because I don't want my husband smoking. And if I did find out that Ben, like, had been creating this secret smoking habit, like, I. I wouldn't take the kids and leave. Like, I happen to think this is, like, an over reaction, but everybody, like, certain people, you know, you might have lost someone to lung cancer. Like, it's triggering for some people. So I can't get into your head space because I think you're being a little crazy, but that doesn't mean you are being crazy. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah. And I'm sure you have your reasons, but I think that there can be resolution between the two of you.

This is certainly not grounds for divorce.

I think whatever the reason is why it upsets you so much, you need to take the time to explain that to him.

And normally I always say, like, it's not really the crime, it's the coverup. But him, like, secretly smoking is not the same as, like, him secretly, like.

Going, I don't know, it's not there who. There's no cover up when there's no crime.

Right, right.

And so, like, to us, this isn't a crime, but. And it's not objectively, it's not a crime. Like, running and going, grabbing a cigarette. Like, that's not a crime, but it's upsetting to you.

Yeah. And I would sit him down and be like, listen, I don't want you to smoke. I understand that it's, like, something you're interested in pursuing. I would love to work on this together. Like, I don't know, maybe putting it more out there will make it easier for him to stop.

But also, like, how I'm seeing it. How often is this happening? I'm thinking, like, once a quarter, you know, every few months. Like, not like, because you can't really.

Hide, like, a full smoking addiction because of the smell, the teeth, everything.

Yeah. Or like, once every few weeks.

What is it when he drinks?

Is it, you know, once a week? That's. That's getting to be something.

Yeah. I don't have all the things men can be.

If you absolutely abhor something and your husband's doing it once a week, that's too much.

Yeah, I guess I'm trying to.

Some people have a cigarette, like, once a year, once a quarter. Maybe you may come up with an agreement with him where it's like, yeah, four cigarettes a year, you get.

Yeah. I don't know. I feel I'm ill equipped to answer and help. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah.

I really can't get into your headspace.

I think that there needs to be dialog, communication, and eventually there will be resolution.

Yeah. Dialog.

Dialog is the answer. And compromise. Let's agree on the number of cigarettes per year.

I like that.

That way everyone's expectations are set and.

You can express ever in a pinch, he can, you know, express himself.

Yeah. And I'm sure he'll go over his allotted number of cigarettes, but at least, like, you won't be so betrayed when you find that he smoked one, because, like, you allowed a little bit.

But I think you can, you know, take the kids back home.

I think so. Unless there's other issues, in which case.

You didn't leave the kids at grandma's.

Yeah, but, like, I feel like if there were other, bigger issues, you would have shared that.

Yeah. Well, thank you to everyone who wrote in. Again, if you want to write in, it's deertoastersmail.com or thetoastpodcast.com. if you have an update for us, we would love to hear from you, especially girl number one. So, girl number one, please write us back. Thank you guys so much for listening to the toast, the millennial morning show where we deliver the fast side stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching us on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up. We are also available as a podcast anywhere. Podcasts can be found. So it's Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, public radio. I already cast box all the places, wherever you listen to podcasts. Vanessa, toast, leave a five star review about how beautiful, about how stunning, about how wickedly talented we are. Hope you guys have an amazing day, and we'll see you tomorrow.

Love you. Bye.

I'm going to pee in my pants.