Good morning, millennials, and welcome back to the toast. Happy Tuesday. No, what day?

That's what happens when you come on Tuesday. We give ourselves a fall short week. We're going up the illusion of a.

Short week on a Tuesday.

And it's an extra special week because it's content week here at the toast. Content week is kind of like toasty shark week.

Okay, so obviously you and I have been churning out content left, right, and center. Like, we've gone viral four times yesterday. And you guys don't even know the stuff. Like, we filmed that. We haven't even shown you yet. Like, I'm so excited. So we're living in a content house.

Yeah.

What is the name of our content house?

I think toast house.

Okay.

Especially with all the bread. It's toast house.

Yeah. It's so true.

There's a lot of bread.

So just quick update from yesterday. We had an amazing day. We killed it on our health journeys.

We did.

We were so active. We got so much work done. We filled, you know, this place with so much love. No, it was literally zero complaints.

Full day. I don't think that we even went our separate ways until, like, 10:00 and we weren't even watching tv or anything. Or anything. Like, we were.

We had a meaningful time.

We had a late dinner, which is such an adult thing to do, is to, like, cook dinner after the kids go to bed. I don't usually do it. Sometimes I'll eat after they go to bed, but I'm just like, Taylor farms or miracle noodle.

I want to say I didn't like it. Like, eating at 830.

Yeah, me neither.

We were.

And then that pickleball time, and we never got to play pickleball.

Yeah, I'm gonna eat with the kids, but the kids, like, I think we need to meet somewhere in the middle. The kids eating at 530 and us eating at nine. Like, why don't we all just eat at seven?

Well, these days the kids eat earlier so that they can go back outside because it's cooler at that time. So that's why they eat so early. They don't usually eat so early, but they're inside until dinner, and then they can go outside because it's nice and shady.

What did we even do yesterday?

Like, well, I did redheads. New episode drops tomorrow. Get excited. We went a little grocery shopping.

Right, right. Oh, did anyone win the powerball last night? Jackie and I went to the grocery store, and we didn't have any cash, and I was feeling really upset because I felt like it was like a moment, like. Like, you know, when you feel something special, like, with the lottery in particular. And I was like, I'm with my swirly. It's Tuesday. The numbers come out Tuesday and Friday. I have a good feeling.

But we didn't have our wallets on us, which I felt like was a sign. I always had my wallet on me. Like, we could go and get cash, and I feel like. Because the one time I didn't meant that, like, it was not for us.

And I know that, like, it's the law that you have to buy lottery tickets with cash, and I actually don't understand it.

Well, what if you buy them on credit? You don't pay off your bill, and then you win. Does the bank own it?

Oh, that's why. Thanks. Okay.

That just seems logical to me. I guess you could pay off your bill when you win, but then they're like, hey, that was our money. Whose money is it when you use a credit card?

No. By the way, thank you. Yeah, that's it.

Okay, cool.

Cause, you know, we were apple pay girls. I'm like, can I buy some lotter ticks with apple pay? No. Now, I don't think anybody won last night. Right? Because we would have heard about it. And don't they usually say when a winning ticket is sold before even, like, the numbers get announced? It's the mega millions. It's at, like, 500 mil or something. Every time I come down here, the mega millions is, like, hitting anew.

Morgan, I do not know. We could go back. But I was also saying. Because you were saying that's crazy to think that that's not, like, meant for us. You know, what's meant for you won't pass you by. But the lottery curse is real, Jackie.

We're too smart to fall into that trope. Like, seriously, we would do such good things with our lottery, and we always end up talking about the lottery when I'm in Florida, because. I'm sorry. Like, winning tickets only get sold in Florida or California. Yeah. You know, California is obviously the elk of dreamers. Floridians are the elk of lotto winners. Like, that's just what it is. I don't make the rules. And I feel like if I. If there's ever a chance of me winning the lottery, it's when I'm staying down here.

Okay.

But, you know, with family like mine, I've already won the lottery.

Turtle squirtle. That's so sweet.

That is so sweet.

That is so sweet. So, yeah, we had a big full day yesterday. Made another loaf of sourdough. It rose. So that's two correct loaves. I haven't cut into it yet. We'll find out today if it proved correctly.

Yeah, it rose.

It rose. You know, because Turdy's here. She's just kind of like my lucky charm.

Totally. And it looks good. I'm ready to eat it.

It does look good.

I know what I'm having for lunch.

What?

Sourdough with butter and salt.

Yeah, you love that. I been dreaming of sourdough with just some scrambled eggs.

Okay.

I'm a simple girl.

So simple.

However, the eggs, I didn't. They're not from my farm.

So that's the next stop on Jackie's journey.

So you can't have chickens in my county.

Oh.

And I have to move on from that dream. Not that I.

Because your county is not the elk of dreamers.

My county is not the elk of chickens. And I actually, as much as I'm going down this path, like, I am not. I support animals. Like, I love brew. I love Romeo. Animals. Like, scare me a little bit.

Magnolia.

Oh, sorry. I was thinking of the ones that are here now.

Sure, sure.

Theo.

Thankfully, Margaret has listened to the show.

Thankfully. I love Magnolia, and, you know, Bruno loves her, but I obviously have beef with her because, like, he's kind of spent all his money on trips to the Maldives for her, and I feel like she's a big reason for his financial ruin.

Are you taller than me?

Why do you say that?

Because my feet don't hit the floor in this chair. And you're, like, fully sitting up more.

Than you sit up.

No, no, this is the most up.

No, no, no. Like, move your. No, no. Like, your back up a little bit. That would bring you closer to the floor.

Now it brings me further away.

Sometimes I don't hit the floor, and sometimes I do.

Interesting.

The way we're sitting.

Okay.

We're, like, really the same height of nothingness.

Yeah. And, like, at this rate, like, I feel like people are competitive. Like, who's taller? Who's shorter? Like, do I want to be taller or shorter than you? Like, I literally don't even know at this point.

We're so short. It's like an achievement. I kind of want to be the shorter one, I have to say. Not the one who's more like other people.

I don't think that this is, like, a hot take. And I think we've said this before, like, I love being short. Like, whenever people meet me and they remark on how small I am. I'm like. Yeah, I'm just so small.

Yeah.

Like, I love it.

Yeah.

And I don't think that's a hot take. I think, like.

No, I think everybody. I mean, I guess some people don't like their height, but I think most people do, because it's actually something you can't change about yourself. So I hope that you like it.

You better embrace it.

Yeah. Even if you're an extreme. But, like, Dana's an extreme short person.

Well, how does she feel about her height?

Loves. It's who she is.

Yeah. No, I mean, but I feel like being really, really short. And I'm talking about, like, not, you know, like, dwarfism. I'm talking about just, like, you're still. You're still just, like, short, you know? But, like, Dana's super, super short. I think, like, most people, as a girl, we would prefer that over, like, being super, super, super tall.

But, like, the four eight, what's the average height for a woman?

I feel like five four.

No, I think, like, five six.

Really? I feel like Margo, our sister, is.

Average height or woman. Look, let's do a little math.

A little in America, by the way. I feel like it's probably different thanks to big food.

Oh, my God, you're right. Is 5.35. So.

Wow.

So let's. Let's call it five four.

We're literally average, so let's call it five four. Okay.

That would mean the Dana equivalent on the tall side. An extra eight inches is 512. Six foot.

512. Are you okay?

Six foot.

Oh, my God. I'm so glad we got that on camera. Cause that's something I would say 512.

You know what else I do sometimes? Like, if I see the number, like, six oh five, like, we got to get on the 605. What? I say that's all you need, a.

Time or, like, 605.

605.

Okay.

I read it as 65.

That's weird.

Yeah. And then I realized that that's actually misleading, because that thinks of six.

That's also a different number.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's weird. I don't relate to that. Maybe, like, a form of dyslexia. Oh, my God.

Why can't I just, like, be a dumb bitch? Why do I have to have, like, a okay, wait. Thing I take away from people who actually have diagnoses?

I am so glad that I just remembered that I just said the word dyslexic because it reminded me of something I've been dying to talk about on this show, hacks.

Okay.

Now, I have watched all but one episode, and honestly, the most recent episode I watched left me never wanting to watch his show again, which is shocking. I have longstanding been, like, the number one advocate of this show. I think it's the best show on the planet. And this season, they are very much leaning. Have I said this on the show yet? I feel like I'm having deja vu.

I'll let you know.

They're really leaning into the fact that the show is about Joan Rivers, like, the entire. The entire season. And I think a lot of people have speculated for a long time that Deborah is loosely based off of Joan, but this season is so Joan. It's all about the nighttime talk show hosting gig she lost in the early eighties or whatever. That literally happened to Joan. And this season, like, the Jimmy Fallon equivalent, is stepping down, and they're casting the new one. And Deborah goes on this, like, princess journey, like, saying, I want this role. I'm. I could be amazing, whatever. And there's, like, a lot of momentum. Like, Gen Z starting to, like, love Deborah, and she's going to give a talk on a college campus. And as she's, like, arriving on campus, this, like, video is going viral. It's like a supercut of all the offensive things she said over the years. You know, jokes about every community you can think of. And in the beginning, Debra was like, fuck these kids, like, eat my ass. And, you know, Ava comes in being like, you know, you really should think about your impact and accountability.

I'm like, I'm waiting for Debra, like, laugh in her face. But seriously, like, the kids start, like, doing a walkout. They're boycotting, and they hold a town hall to talk about, like, their feelings about Deborah's jokes. And Deborah decides, like, she really thinks about it. And Ava's monolog has a real impact on her. And she goes to the town hall, and she just sits there while all these kids get up and tell her what's wrong with the jokes that she made. And this one girl, like, actually stands up and is like, Deborah, I'd like to talk about your ableist jokes. And Deborah's like, what's ableist? She's like, well, you said that dyslexia, or. Or how you call it, lyslexia. Literally hilarious joke. And, like, really smart. And that. Do you know how hard it was to grow up with dyslexia? And Deborah just sits there and then, like, apologizes and then gets written up in, like, you know, variety. Like, she's amazing. She's Gen Z. She's learning and listening. Jackie, it was so offensive to Joan Rivers legacy. Like, Joan Rivers would never attend a town hall if she attended it. She would only show up to spit in the faces of the students.

Like, jackie, I don't know if, like, it felt so off brand for Debra. I don't know if in the final episode of the season, which I haven't watched yet, because I can't bring myself to do it, me and Ben looked at each other like, debra would never.

Debra would never.

I don't know if, like, in the last episode, they undo it because it literally. Jackie makes no sense.

That's really crazy.

She goes to a town hall.

Well, I can understand her going just to eat them alive.

That's what I thought she was gonna do. Like, read them to film. No, she didn't even apologize. She sat and she listened and she learned.

Yikes.

Yeah. Jackie, I was shocked. I was in tears. I'm so glad we were able to just talk about that. Did anybody else feel like that was so off brand? And I guess, like, it seems like the show is turning into, like, Ava, this, like, distressed millennial who's like, you know, offended about everything. And Deborah, like, these two polar opposites are going to, like, meet in the middle and Ava's going to change Deborah, and Debra is going to change Ava. But Debra hasn't changed Ava. Ava has only changed Deborah for the worse.

No, and I also think when people reach a certain age, like, they are who they are.

Yep.

Debra's fabulous. Ava's the one who stinks a thousand percent. You know, Debra, the job with Deborah is the only thing that she's got.

No, I was.

So I think Ava needs to evaluate her life and her choices. Cause things haven't worked out for her. Like, not Debra.

No, I agree, Jackie. It was really upsetting.

That's upsetting.

Now, maybe the last episode, like, puts things back in its place, but I don't know. Opposite day, they made, like, they took a left turn. I was shocked.

Interesting.

Oh, man, I'm so glad we brought that up.

Yeah.

So that's something I've been wanting to talk about also. We've got stories today. We also have deer toasters. And there's a deer toasters. That's so us. It's about an ourering oura ring drama.

Oh, wow. Yeah, well, you. They could never make me hate my oura ring the way turdy and I are like, what's our activity score today? How did you sleep last night?

I can't believe I lived so long and I was actually thinking about this yesterday, just reflecting on a time where, like, you would come on the show talking about your oura ring. And seriously, like, I couldn't have given a flying fuck about anything less and how silly I was, how wrong I was, how sorry I am.

Well, that brings up something from yesterday. Because you read a new book yesterday.

I've been reading all these children's books because, you know the kids. Nobody reads a book like me. I've got such. I really should go on that radio show like Ludacris. I've got such timing. And I read a couple of books. The first I read was if you take a mouse to school.

Yeah. Sequel to if you give a mouse a cookie.

Oh, okay. I haven't read the first, and I don't know if it's the type of thing you need to see the original. If you take a mouse to school, it's such a bad book that sends such a bad message about, like, codependency. I really didn't like it. And no rhymes. Like, I just felt every page fell flat.

It's so clunky to read hunky.

Yes. So then I was delighted when somebody brought me green eggs and ham. Cause I know green eggs and ham. Now, I didn't remember, you know, the actual story and plot, but I did remember Sam, my yem. Green eggs and ham. Like, I knew I could sing the shit out of it, and I did. And when I got to the end of the book, I had this sort of realization and is that the Grinch in green eggs and ham or. It's just like a green guy. He looks just like the Grinch.

It's just a green guy. But it's Doctor Seuss. So the illustrator is similar. They all kind of look like.

I think you should take a second look. I think it's the Grinch who plays Sam.

I am.

Or the guy who's supposed to be eating green eggs and ham. You want me to get the book? It's right outside.

Yeah, get it.

Okay. It's definitely Grinch.

I'd like to cite the source, but a lot of the Doctor Seuss characters look like the Grinch. Like, if you've read the snitches books, they all. The star bellied snitches and the plain bellied sneaches, they all have bellies like the Grinch. I think that's just Claude. I really think it's just how Doctor Seuss illustrates. Cause think of the sneeches book. Have you read that one?

No.

They look like the Grinch also the cat in the hat. Look at him with his potbelly. He looks like the Grinch, too. He's just okay.

He's no these so Grinchy.

Yeah, this is just doctor Seuss characters.

Okay, well.

Well, he doesn't have a name, but his name now is Claudia Ashrei.

Well, that's what I kind of learned towards the end of the book. I'm like, I'm having so much fun, you know, rhyming and bumping and grinding with these words that it took me a second after I closed the book to say, oh, my God, this book is about me. Is this play about us? Like, I am the Grinch. Cause the whole book, this annoying fuck, Sam I am is like, do you want to eat green eggs and ham? Like, would you eat it here? Would you eat it? And Grinch is like, fuck off, dude. Like, I don't like green eggs and ham. I don't care where I eat it, who I'm eating it with. Like, it ain't happening for me. And the little Sam I am bothers the Grinch so much that by the end of the book, the Grinch says, like, will you permanently fuck all the way off if I just try your green eggs and ham? Just to prove to you I don't like it.

I don't like it.

And he takes a bite and he freaks. He says, oh, my God. Everything I. It's giving, ordering. It's giving, reading, giving. Downton Abbey. He says, I do like green eggs in ham. I do. I like them, Sam I am. And I would eat them in a boat, and I would eat them with a goat. And I will eat them in the rain and in the dark and on a train and in a car and in a tree. They are so, so, so good, you see? So I will eat them in a box, and I will eat them with a fox, and I will eat them in a house, and I will eat them with a mouse, and I will eat them here. And I will eat them there. Say, I'll eat those bitches anywhere. I do like green eggs and ham. Thank you. Thank you, Jackie. Oh, that's only what the book is giving.

Yeah, well, what's funny is I heard you reading it upstairs. I was cooking dinner, and I've read this book a few times, and I toggle between two things. Like, of course you want to be open minded and try new things and not be closed minded. And I think that's the overall message. But I do think there's a conflicting message about respecting boundaries.

Yeah. Cause you. If you're like a negative person, which we are, like, you could take a look at this book and say indoctrination. That's literally what's going on.

No, I feel like it's like, I know I don't like this thing. I. Stop pushing it on me. Respect my boundaries. However, he did wind up liking this thing, so his boundaries were false. Boundary.

I guess we would need to know Grinch's relationship with green eggs and ham up until this point. Had he never tried it?

And you're just saying no to just being closed minded. Like, he looked at it. He judged a book by its cover, and he said no.

Yeah, I think that's the message. I think this is actually an amazing book like this. And I feel like I've been clowning on a lot of children's books and haven't really said what I'm loving. And this goes in the book hall of fame. Like, this is excellent. From all cylinders.

I am so glad you like it. I mean, doctor seuss, he's the goat for a reason.

Yeah. One fish, two fish. Redfish. Blue fish. That one's good, too. Do you have that one here?

I do. And cat in the hat is also really good. And then, of course, the Grinch. We love the Grinch.

Of course. And then all these other ones on the back. I'm not. I'm not familiar with these.

You don't even know the sneaches, but the snitches are really good now.

Seussville.com. i guess Seussville is like the name of the Doctor Seuss empire. What do you think the Doctor Seuss empire is worth?

50 million. Well, I guess if you include movie rights, right.

Doctor Susan. Net worth 75 million slay. But he is no longer with us. So who in Google knows? Like, when I ask a question. Related question, people also ask, who inherited doctor whose estate? Doctor who? Doctor Seuss. Audrey Stone. Okay, wait. According to New York Post, the estate is currently owned by the University of California, San Diego, which received the property in a donation by Doctor Seuss late wife.

Did he have children? That would be kind of weird.

Well, his name was not Doctor Seuss. It was.

It was like Theodore Streisand. No lie.

I think it was Theodore Fauceman, by the way. Theodore Geisel. You're right.

It's Theodore Scheisand.

Theodore Geisel. He was american children's book writer. Let's see what Wikipedia says. Although after Chernobyl, I know how unreliable Wikipedia is. He had a spouse. I don't think that he had any children.

There is one Doctor Seuss book that's not good, though.

He died at the age of 87. What is it?

King the Zachs? Something like that. It's not good. Yeah, it comes in the series, and it's a must skip. You have to read the sneeches.

By the way, do you know that Doctor Seuss also had an illustrious career as a political cartoonist?

I could see it. Yeah, there's a lot of satire here. A lot of commentary.

Yeah, there's a lot to, you know.

Unpack in the world of Seuss. Give me the back of the book. I want to see the other one.

Yes, I give Seuss. I mean, this is, like, the least hot take ever, but tens across the board.

No, but you see with the children's books, like, sometimes you're like, oh, why did that get. Why does everybody read that book, even give a mouse a cookie, like, we bought it? Because it's a classic.

Is it? I think it's a new, modern classic.

You could definitely skip it. As we said, rainbow fish. A lot of the ones that kind of live high on the hog and are exempt from breaking in millions, exempt from critique, aren't that great. But then there are the ones that are so great.

Yeah.

And they're cliche for a reason.

So I'll read more books as you'll go.

That's also doctor Seuss. He also has, like, a happy birthday to you book.

Love that.

Yeah.

I'm gonna keep a list, maybe, like, a good reads or something of my ability approved books.

I actually had been meaning to make, like, an Amazon storefront of all of the favorite children's books that I've read. And also we've been reading, like, in the living room and upstairs. But the best ones are in the bedroom.

Oh, yeah.

You haven't even seen the best ones.

No, I haven't. I do love that. I think it's, like, four books. It's the Baby beluga. It's like, classic songs.

Baby beluga, down by the bay.

Down by the bay. That's a song?

Yeah, it's a bop.

I don't know who was working in the studio, like, getting that shit off the ground, Rafi. Fire, fire fucking song.

But it's also a little bit like, what were you on down by the bay where the watermelons grow? And it's like, have you ever seen a goose kissing a moose down? But it's kind of, like, random.

Yeah. No, and I think one plus one equals sock when you're a teenager. That's, like, a classic song. You, like, change the words to and make it dirty, you know?

Oh, interesting.

Yeah. Like, have you ever seen your mom, like, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. At least that's what I was doing.

And then the other board book in that series is wheels on the bus, which I don't think anyone owns.

You do?

No, no. Owns the song.

Oh. Oh, I thought you meant the book. I'm like, I think a lot of people do.

Yeah. Clown. So, yeah, just, like, fascinating stuff.

Truly, truly.

But the best children's book of them all is the camper and the counselor by me.

Me.

You have to read camper and counselor now.

Again, I've read it extremely recently.

Okay. Like, in the midst of all these other books, kind of see where it ranks. You'll really enjoy it.

You don't need to sell me.

I know.

On the magic of Tcatc.

TCatc. Also, I'm doing a book signing this weekend, speaking of TCAtc, in Miami at books and books in coral gables. So get your tickets on their website. Just, you know, google it. I'll put the link in my stories again if you want to come see me. Tickets are limited. The ticket price gets you a book that I will sign.

If you want to come see who?

Me.

Now we've got a great show, lots of stories, and people in need. Dear toasters is at the end of today's episode. So if it fancies the lady, it.

Does fancy the lady. To deliver the fast five stories that you need to know and the fast.

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Told me about hatchback.

What was the one I just said?

Bora ring.

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Well, thank you yw.

JF Jacqueline Foley I got it. I didn't know if, like, people weren't sure.

Our first story, some hair news. Rihanna announces the launch of Fendi hair care line. Fenty, sorry. With new blonde pixie cut in the promo.

So just trigger warning for me.

But fenty hair is almost here. On yesterday, Rihanna took to instagram to share the news that her beauty empire is expanding into hair care, and it's coming soon. And a campaign video showcasing a variety of hair types and textures. The Fenty beauty founder gives fans a sneak peek into her newest product line. She said a new family is moving in. Fenty hair is pulling up, and it's time to finally have the hair experience you've been waiting for, Zachary.

So I don't think anybody was necessarily surprised that Fenty was going into this space. They recently did skin, so, like, it's just a natural progression for a billion dollar beauty company. I think what really made this newsworthy is, you know, Rihanna's blonde pixie cut.

Oh, you think so? Yeah, I think it looks great.

Okay, so if anyone can pull off a pixie cut, it's obviously Rihanna. I don't think Rihanna looking great in it is an endorsement for the pixie cut because, like, she could look great in anything. Like, with a duty on her head, you know?

Right, right.

Maybe that's next for Fenty. Fenty duty.

Fenty beauty.

Yeah. Right.

Well, I think this is exciting. And as you said, like, yeah, beauty, skin, hair all in one. It just goes to show, like, the umbrella gets larger.

And it's also really crazy how, like, the hype for fenty beauty, like, really didn't die down.

No, it reached, like, a level where it's just, like, this is what people incorporate into their routine. It's not like we're just trying things anymore. Like, it's very much here to stay.

Yeah, they did, like, a good job of, like, embracing Gen Z and tick tock. Like, they're super relevant on TikTok, but they're not, like, the most obvious, like, chewy, like, brand.

They really, like, brand of the moment.

Yeah. Which you don't want to be because, like, you're brand of the moment, and.

Then you go out of business, then the moment changes.

Yeah. It's just really. It's such a testament to, like, Rihanna's, I think, like, celebrity, but also, like, probably the quality of the products. I've used a bunch of fenty stuff. Like, it's all good shit.

Yeah, same.

So this is not shocking, but, you know, you love to see a billionaire getting richer, especially when it's Rihanna.

Especially when it's like, you know, consumer products that we get to benefit off of as well.

Yeah, we all win.

We do all win.

We feel like I literally am a spokesperson for capitalism right now. Like, the consumer benefits, too. Thanks, billionaires.

Thank you. No, I could use some new hair stuff. I feel like my hair is in, like, a lull because it's just, like, growing out.

Your hair is so long, it's insane.

No, I mean, like, my regrowth, like, the underneath.

By the way, I have regrowth, too.

You do?

Yeah, from, like, my hair loss journey when I put my hair in a bun. I have, like, my bun hair, and then I have my back hairs, like. Yeah, the ones at the back that are.

That don't.

Five inches long.

Yeah, that's where I'm at. I need.

I kind of like them like you do. I don't know. Like, I like to twirl them in my hands, and it's just a reminder.

That, like, your hair is growing back. Yeah, but it definitely gets in my way 100%. I think I've got, like, a few more months of this before it fits nicely into my pony.

Well, if you cut your hair to.

The length of my regrowth strands.

No, but you're just bridging the gap, you know?

I guess you have to meet your.

Regrowth strands where they are.

That's so true. You know, I don't see a haircut in the near future for me, like, a drastic haircut one day. Yeah, but I'm not trying to.

I'm no one to tell. I'm always, like, trying to convince other people, like Olivia Rodrigo and her sister Margo, to get drastic haircuts. But you couldn't pay me, seriously, $2 billion to cut my hair drastically. I guess if somebody said to me, turdy, here's a winning lottery ticket and a pixie cut, and you can't take one without the other thousand percent, because then I would buy the best wig money could buy.

Of course. Yeah, of course.

Because I know they say, like, you know, what's that quote? It's like, my favorite quote instead writing down my favorite quotes. That's what tinks does. And it's like she's always, like, remarking on her quotes. I'm like, how do you remember them? She said she has list. But my favorite quote is, like, everybody wants to be rich and famous, but make them rich and see if that doesn't solve their problems. Like, fame is not like everybody, like, looks out for, like, fate, but, like, literally money. And I know money can't buy happiness, but can solve, like, almost all of your problems, like, a pixie cut.

So the message is, like, the famous, famous, worthless. Don't spend your time wanting it a thousand percent. That's what we were saying yesterday. So you must have read that quote and then you moved on from.

No, I've always thought that I had never, you know, like, heard the quote until actually, I read it in Josh Peck's book.

Got it.

And I was like, oh, my God. Yes. That's, like, exactly how I feel. It's like, it's the money that's good, not the fame. Like, we look at celebrities and we're, like, jealous, but we're like, you don't realize you're not jealous of their fame. Like, it's really not that great. You're jealous of their money.

Like, attention, too.

Yeah, but it gets old quickly, I think.

Yeah, but, like, if you're with someone and, like, they're getting a lot of attention and you're not.

Okay, well, I need more information. Where am I? And who's the other person, you know?

Yeah.

Like, sometimes, like, if somebody else gets attention, like, it depends who it is. Like, I can be happy for them. Yeah, but do I hate this person? Like, you can't just make, like, a generalization like that.

Got it. Got it. No, but attention is like a form of currency, and that's what fame is.

I mean, you're telling me. I literally started running for attention, right?

Look where it got you. Good things came.

A thousand percent.

Yeah. Are you ready for our next story? Dakota Fanning reveals she has a massive shoe collection courtesy of Tom Cruise. Have you heard this yet?

The story sounds familiar.

Wait, so Dakota Fanning. Maybe she told you. When? In college, when you guys went to college together.

That wasn't Dakota Fanning. She went to NYU at the same time as me.

Like, she's 30.

I don't like remark on her, as one of my classmates, Dylan and Cole Sprouse were. Anna Sophia Robb was.

She's literally your age. How would you feel if your father married someone? You're out age turned 30 in February.

Oh, so she's not my age. She's much older than me.

Anyway, she revealed that on the Kelly Clarkson show. Of course, everyone goes to spill the beans.

Christine Uschak was just on the Kelly.

Clarkson show that Tom Cruise has gifted her a new pair of shoes every year for her birthday since they starred together in war of the worlds. He's gotten her a birthday present every single year since she was eleven. In that movie, Kelly said, I find that amazing, that every year on her birthday, Tom Cruise still sends you a present on your birthday and says, happy birthday. That's so nice. Even though they worked together so long ago she said that she had just turned eleven when she first worked with him on their 2005 film war of the worlds. And to celebrate, he had gifted her her first cell phones. She said it was a Motorola razor. I didn't have anyone to call, but I just wanted a razor so bad and I wanted to.

Parents thought of that. That's kind of a big thing.

Yeah, I feel like now it's kind of a bigger thing. But like, back then, the impact of cell phones, like, wasn't like, it was just.

Yeah, I guess.

I guess that's what I. Cuz I was seeing the same thing. Like, that's kind of a presumptuous gift to like, yeah, I give someone their first phone, but I think back then it just like meant less. Plus was a. Not a smartphone. It's just like you want to make a flow, right?

Anybody needs make you want to do the flip. I've got a phone, right?

So she said I must have been talking about it a lot because that's what he got me. It was such a great memory. However, since then, he has honored her birthday every year by sending her a new pair of shoes.

So the thing is, they could never make me like Tom Cruise. Like, and Dakota Fanning is trying. Like, she's really trying hard. They can never make me like this man. However, you know, hearing a story about an eleven year old on set who had a positive experience with an older gentleman in this industry, like, you know, we can't take that lightly. Like, sorry, that is definitely a point in Tom Cruise's column because, you know, I don't know. Sorry. No, they can never make me like him. I'm trying to put a positive spin. I can't.

Okay. Well, I mean, it's sweet that I don't think they have much of a relationship now, but like, he still acknowledges her birthday every year.

Also, he's like, not sending it, you.

Know, but he has made it a point to his people to do this.

Well, actually, this is another storyline in hacks and I have to assume it's based on what actually happens in real life. Like, Tom Cruise, I guess, is known for like sending a, like a group of like Hollywood elites and his friends every Christmas. This like divine coconut cream.

Yeah. 300 people he sends it to at Christmas.

Oh, so it's an episode because debra gets one. Oh, that's funny. So he's obviously like known for his gifts, which is cute, but he's also like known for being a scientologist.

Yeah. He also paid for Glenn Powell to get his pilot's license.

Okay, well, if there is anyone who can make me like Tom Cruise, it might be Glenn Powell and Miles Teller.

And they both really like him.

Yeah, I don't know. The thing is, for me, with Tom Cruise, like, I definitely missed his peak. Like, he was a movie star and he still is, but there was a couple of years where he was it, and I just kind of came into consciousness after that, and so I only know the negatives. I don't remember Jerry Maguire, you know?

Right.

I don't even know what movies I've seen him in besides Top Gun Maverick. I feel like that's literally it. And I saw Top Gun Maverick two years ago.

Yeah, we've definitely seen him in other.

No, I actually don't think we have.

Let me google him. Tom Cruise. It's all, like, mishak. He kind of, like, does his own stuff, and, like, is always.

He created his own genre. Like, for real.

Yeah, it's true. I'm just saying, like, you know, just interesting to note. Tom Cruise, very generous. Also, I would love to get to.

A place where I'm, like, known for my gifts. That's, like, such a rich person thing, you know?

Yeah.

Where you can have, like, lists that go out annually, and everybody knows you for it, and, like, the elites get it. I guess that might be how some people feel about our TnN holiday baskets.

I think so. They're really great.

They are.

We don't skim.

We don't. And we send it, like, we send them to ourselves.

Yeah, that's the best part. Sending it to ourselves to unburden ourselves. Right.

Okay.

All of these movies are, like, action movies. Oh, Rain man. We've seen Rain man.

Oh, my God. Wait, hold on. Tom Cruise was in Rain man? That definitely changes things. Who was the man? Himself? Dustin Hoffman or what's that guy's name?

Uh, yeah.

Dustin Hoffman.

Dustin Hoffman, yeah.

And then Tom Cruise is, like, the brother who's, like, always trying to keep him out of trouble.

Yeah.

Okay. You know, that's an excellent film.

Yeah.

Okay. It seems like you're trying to make me like Tom Cruise.

No, I'm just. I'm just having you question your biases, that's all.

Okay.

To confirm them.

Yeah, but biases are there for a reason, you know?

Yeah, of course. I'm like, just like Nicole Kidman. That's what I.

Thank you. What kind of man? It's in an ice cold, you know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you ready for our next story?

Is it about Alec Baldwin?

It is.

I need to talk about this.

Alec and Hilaria Baldwin announced their reality show featuring all seven of their kids. So Alec and Hilaria Baldwin are getting a reality show on TLC called the Baldwins. And it is a family dynamic show about their family.

And I feel like this is crazy. And let me tell you why. Because obviously Alec Baldwin, I'm gonna choke up. Alec Baldwin is a star, and we know him. He's incredibly famous, 30 rock. But this is coming off the heels of me just watching. And I forgot to mention that Alec Baldwin is in Pearl Harbor. Alec Baldwin is so a list. And I think we've all forgotten how a list he is over the last couple of years because he's been marred by scandal. First, you know, the spanish ization of his wife, this thousand kids, the shooting. So we haven't really talked about his status as an a lister in a while because we've been talking about other things.

The voicemail, Barazzi, the anger.

He was roasted on Comedy Central a little bit, you know, a couple of years ago. Like, we haven't talked about his, you know, discography in many years.

The work itself.

And if you would do our favorite thing, please pull up Alec Baldwin's IMDb because I don't know how somebody who was in Pearl harbor ends up on a TLC reality show.

Well, it's not just about Pearl harbor. Like, it's everything.

No, of course. But Pearl harbor, like, as far and how I see it is like when you think about Jennifer Gardner, Ben Affleck, Josh Hartnett, Kate Beckinsale, Jamie King, like, these are all people. They are. They were, you know, what's the word, propel?

Catapulted.

Thank you. Catapulted into this very elite level of fame, Alec Baldwin included. And he went on to do great things. We obviously know 30 Rock. What else?

It's complicated. Of course. We love. I mean, I'm looking at the movies that I love. He was in the aviator. Oh, yeah. He played the head of Pan am. Blue Jasmine. Again, movies that we've watched. The cat in the hat with Dakota Fanning.

Yeah, the cat in the hat. Like, literally the best of me. This is a deeply accomplished person. And I actually, I do know because we've literally watched it all unfold. But it's really crazy how you go from that to having your own show on the same network that launched the career of Mama June and the Duggars. Like, it's really crazy.

Even without Pearl harbor. Like, he's been. He's dirty rock. It's crazy that the show is on TLC, and it just makes me ask one question, like, why?

I think they need money.

Really?

This is what you do when you need money. They have seven kids, which just in and of itself is an enormous financial undertaking. They've recently, you know, had a lot of legal. You know, those things are expensive, going to trial and things of that nature. I'm sure she spends. I am sure she spends.

Yeah.

I think also, yes, he is this amazing. But, like, in the last couple of years, even think about the last movie he did, which was Russ. Like, that was an independent film. That's something you make, like a per diem per day of, like, you don't.

Or you make it, like, when you're doing it for the art. He was in boss baby, which that. Those sorts of things make money. There were two of them.

I'm sorry. That's probably one of his most lucrative. No, it's true. Like, the voiceover work.

Yeah.

When you get in with one of those animation.

Oh, still Alice, which was recent and critically acclaimed.

So if he doesn't need the money, which is what I immediately thought, why would he do this?

And I also think, like, 30 Rock is a show that, like, pays forever.

Sorry. Yeah, 30 Rock is a show that pays forever. It's on Netflix. I think it's also on Max.

And I think there are other things that you can do for money. Like when you're very well connected.

No.

Invest in something.

No, you're right, you're right, you're right.

I don't think it's about money. Like, I think maybe Hilaria wants to be on tv.

You think it's like a fame thing?

I don't know.

I seriously can't imagine why anybody who's.

Like, maybe because she's on Instagram. Like, maybe, like, she wants more than just influencing.

And I love TLC. This isn't me clowning. Like, I watch a lot of their programming. You guys know that. I don't. I think it's important to know, like, yeah, there's reality shows. There's different levels of reality shows, you know, bravo. And then there's TLC, which, like, is, you know, the circus.

Yeah.

Like, you're on the same network as, like, sister wives and the Duggars, you know, 19 kids. Like, it's. It's like, for, like, freaks, dogs, like, you know?

Yeah, no, I know.

So I'm confused. Sound off in the comments. Like, why do you think they did this show?

Yeah. And will you be watching the show?

Honestly, it's tempting. I wonder if they'll address, you know, like, what would you say is the biggest scandal in Alec Baldwin's career?

The shooting.

See, I really feel like it's Illadia. Like, to me, like, that was so much more shocking.

Yeah.

Then there's also thoughtless little pigs.

The voicemail.

But what?

I think we're past that as a p. Like, that was a liar. But I think she is.

I think she is too. And Ireland's, like, in her mom, like, tradwife era.

Yeah. It comes for all of us. Also, what I was thinking about when you were saying, like, all the things that I have been, like, green eggs and ham.

Mm hmm.

Does it ever make you wonder of the things that I'm doing now that, like, eventually you're gonna fall into. Because.

Don't push it, okay?

No, I'm not pushing anything.

I'll make my own bread when I'm ready.

I don't think you'll. I actually don't think you will ever make your own bread.

Me neither. Okay. But so what exactly are you referring to?

No, nothing. It was a question. It wasn't an agenda.

Oh, okay. No, I don't think about it. I just think about, like, you know.

It'S funny to think about, though. There's definitely something that I'm doing now that you're, like, I roll.

Maybe there's something that I'm doing now that you'll be doing.

Maybe. But I endorse everything you do.

I endorse everything you do.

There's nothing that you do that I think is crazy. Yeah. Or that I'm just, like, not paying attention. It's so dissimilar to myself. But I could see you becoming, like, clean one day, just, like, products wise. I don't know, but it happens, like, a big impetus is, like, when you have kids.

Yeah, of course. Good enough for ye, but not for thee.

Yeah. So the Baldwins on TLC one day.

Coming to a circus near you.

Yes. Next up, Lady Gaga is making waves on TikTok. Making waves. I guess she's been kind of, like, low key recently, even though, like, her.

Chromatica ball came out on Max. And, like, I don't know why. I've seen, like, no hype for it. I mean, it is sad.

Even.

She, like, did her concert dvd.

Okay.

Released it. When was chromatica ball? Years ago, like, before COVID Okay. And it came out on Max, and I've been, like, seeing clips of it somewhere, but, like, there really has been, like, no energy for it.

Well, she's been doing like, folletoo. And I also think she's a celebrity that when she's not wearing hair and makeup, she looks like a layperson and can make herself look like a layperson. So I think she's, like, pretty low key.

I also think she's a celebrity who, when she's not actively working on something, like, she hibernates. Like, you don't see her, right?

But she had her sister's wedding, and she was spotted with her man's. They're still going strong.

Which man is this regular degular?

His name is, like, Michael.

Is he the audio engineer guy?

Is he. I don't know. He's just, like, a layperson.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But they're still together, and maybe some of the pictures sparked pregnancy rumors. Anyways, she wrote on TikTok. Not pregnant, just down bad crying at the gym. Register to vote.

Okay, so many layers to this. First is, I love when celebrities, like, comment on rumors that nobody was making. Like, I never heard this, and I hear everything. Okay, that's first of all. Second of all, living for the Taylor Swift reference. Like, I think a lot of people are, like, you know, creaming their pants. Like, is this an Easter egg? No, I just think she's, like, commenting on something that's big in culture, and that's fine. Three, this is probably one of my least favorite celebrity tropes. Like, the performative activism. It's like, everyone's talking about me when we should be talking about this. It's like, first of all, no one's talking about you. Second of all, like, we're talking about voting anyway. Like, it's an election year. We're not stupid. Like, one of my least favorite tropes, it's like, it's a little, like, condescending. It's like, while you guys are so caught up in such unimportant things, like my pregnancy rumors, you really should be thinking about voting. And it's like, we are. We can actually think about two things. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Like, I think you're pregnant, and I'm also gonna vote this year.

You know, I just hate that. Like, and it's. I think people, like, it's. We were talking about it with that reformation collab. It's like you just put, like, vote.org on anything, and you're. It's like, I'm a savior of the people.

This is meaningful.

Yeah. I don't like it.

No, I don't like it either. And I really hope that, as a society, maybe it won't be in this election cycle because it's already starting.

Yeah.

But at some point that we move.

Past it, it's so performative. Like, you're not making anyone vote.

Yeah. Rare.

I wasn't gonna vote, but then Lady Gaga on a TikTok told me to. And actually, if that's your level of intellect, you probably shouldn't vote. Like, seriously, I'm kidding. Everyone should vote. Like, please. I just. This is probably, like, one of my least favorite celebrity tropes. A, about voting, but b, just about, like, the sort of intellectual superiority. Like, while you're all doing this, I'm over here talking about, you know, the Sudanese, and it's like, okay, me too. But I'm also talking about the other thing.

Like, yeah, yeah, we can hold space for a number of things at one.

Time because one of our favorite sayings, which is, you know, of the absolute truth, two things, actually, maybe even three, can be true at once. Not three. Yeah.

Not three. Certainly not four.

No, I draw the line at four.

Well, Lady Gaga has emerged.

Well, that's just, like, the overall positive outcome. And does anybody else feel like the hype for chromatica ball has been, like. So.

I don't even know what you're talking about.

Okay. It's like her eras tour. It's her Beyonce's Netflix. Like, she did a Max concert dvd. I don't know why I call it dvd, but let's just, like, yeah, when somebody films their concert, it's a concert dvd.

Of course. Of course. And when it's on Max, it's on Max.

And I just feel like no one cared.

I didn't even know about it, so I can't say that I didn't care. Cause I didn't know they're in lies.

The issue that I'm asking people about, like, why is nobody talking about this?

I'm a big fan.

Great.

Does this include, like, stupid love?

Yeah, that's the chromatic era. I'm sure she's saying stupid love.

I've been listening to stupid love a lot recently.

She's really good.

I resurfaced some old 2020 playlists because, as I said, like, I. Weirdly, there's so much new music, but there's nothing to listen to except for Shabuzi stream. Shabuzi.

Everyone against Jackie's car. Like, she's knee deep in the Shibuzzi album.

The Shabuzzi album is so, so good.

I did, like, what I heard.

It's so good. He's so talented. So right now, that's carrying me. But it's definitely not for working out. So I've gone back to my 2020 workout playlists.

Stupid love, so good? Rain on me that has always been on my every playlist. I keep making new ones. Rain on me is always the first.

One added, it's so good?

Cause I would rather be dry? But at least I'm alive?

Rain on me? Hey, hey. Our fifth and final story.

Great.

A little more celebrity news. Some hopeful but frightening news. Halsey. Halsey releases a new single, the end, as she reveals her secret health struggle. She said she's lucky to be alive. So on Tuesday, she shared the end, which is the first new single from her forthcoming fifth studio album, along with a caption revealing that she's been suffering from serious health issues. On Instagram, she wrote, long story short, I'm lucky to be alive. Short story long, I wrote an album. It begins with the end. Out now. So she said that she was suffering from leukemia as well as lupus.

Yeah.

Frightening.

So scary.

I've actually been listening to a lot of Halsey from my old album, from my old playlist.

You know, this just reminded me of. Did that Charlie Booth song ever come out hero?

Yeah, I listened to it.

You did? How was it?

Not bad. Just like, it didn't change my life. Like, I was hoping a song called hero would.

Damn.

It wasn't like, I need a hero, and it's hero till the morning light. Gotta be, he's gotta be cool and he's gotta be fast and he's gotta be fresh for the fight.

And it certainly wasn't. And then a hero comes along with the strength to carry on and you cast your fears aside but you know you can survive so when you feel like hope is gone look inside you and be strong and then you'll finally see the truth. That a hero lies in you.

No, it wasn't that.

Oh, that's disappointing. I had, like, hopes that Charlie puth would be a bigger artist.

Yeah, no, I listened. I was, like, excited. Cause I meant what I said when I said it sounded good and I wanted to give him a shot.

Taylor should have, like, reposted it or something. Like, given it, like, a little bit of a leg up.

Not if it's not worthy.

It's so true. Our queen has taste.

Yeah. Not like a pity share.

I mean, what's literally what you can always tell when, like, a big artist is, like, friends with a littler one, and the littler one puts out, like, a piece of shit, and the artist is like, I'm obsessed with this song, it's like, no, you're not. Stop lying. Us.

Yeah, but Halsey's putting out new music.

That's great.

And she's been through a lot.

Wishing her well.

Yeah.

Rifle, Ashley, ma, me as well.

I think she's doing better now, but I think she went through a hard time.

I mean, that's terrible.

Yeah.

So those were the fastest stories. I enjoyed them. I know you said at the beginning of the show. Well, actually, I think maybe you said this offline, like, you weren't sure about the stories.

It was just like, light celebrity stories.

I enjoyed them.

Not super chewy.

Not super chewy. Chewy. I'm hungry. What are we having for lunch?

Something light.

Sourdough.

Oh, yeah. We're having our slices of toast that are easily digestible, so they're healthy.

And there's. I feel like people are worried about dear toasters, that the show's over, but it's not.

Oh, it's so not over, by the way.

Guess it's never really. Oh, KP seven is coming. Okay, what do you think about that?

I'm open.

I'm open as well.

I'm open, Sam. I am.

She seriously, like, will go down. She will be studied by, like, for the flip flop.

The flip. The flippity. Like, she album is either the best album I've ever heard or the worst.

And she will be studied for, like, having probably one of the biggest impacts on pop music, like, five different times and then releasing two albums that seriously, I think, got five downloads.

Yeah.

I don't know how you can do both, but get you a girl who can do both. And it seems like she might be in a huge redemption era, which I am really here for me as well.

What was I gonna say about her? It's just so crazy. Like, at one point, her and Kelly Clark's more like neck and neck for my love.

No. And I think she's also a great example of hair theory, how, like, your hair can really change your output. Like, for real. Because I think some of her best hair days were her best music and then some of her worst hair days. The bleach blonde pixie cut was some of her, like, worst, shittiest music chain to the rhythm.

Bon appetit.

Correct.

Yikes. Bikes.

And then it's also, like, I think, a statement on authenticity. I didn't feel like she was being her authentic self with Bon appetit. I think she was, like, putting out what either the label wanted her to put out or what she thought people wanted her to put out, like, that wasn't Katie.

Well, I feel like a criticism that she often gets is that she's not been authentic her entire part of her successful career, because I think she started out as a christian artist, as we.

Yeah.

Like, she didn't have success until much later in life. And I think people say. And I don't feel this way, necessarily. Cause I don't know her on a personal level. But, like, all of that was just, like, put on, you know, the teenage dream. Like, it was all phony. Never.

But it was good.

Yeah. No. Not saying it was good or bad, but, like, who is the real Katy Perry? I don't know.

I don't know either. But I think there was a time where she didn't know.

Right. Even as someone who's, like, been a true fan of hers over the years, I don't know who she is.

And that's problem now, as an older, wiser mom, I actually think she knows who she is now.

And, like, she did Harley's in Hawaii, and I think she was a mom when she did that. Yeah, that wasn't good and wasn't giving authentic. True. So. But, like, that song, daisies and her daughter. Beautiful.

Yeah. Maybe we could just chalk it up to, you know, mismanagement, I guess.

She also doesn't have a Grammy. That's what I was gonna say. Even though she's been, like, such.

Yes. She's one of those people. Miley just left that bucket of people who are, like, so famous and, like, have so many popular songs and have never won a Grammy. I think it's more of a crime that Katy Perry has never won a Grammy. When you think about, like, teenage dream. California girls. I kissed a girl. You know, the one that got away. Waking up in Vegas. Like, she has firework. Fuck. The fact that firework doesn't have a Grammy is really emblematic of the issue that I have with the Grammys.

Yeah. Like, when that album came out, teenage dream is her biggest album. I think it, like, smashed everything. What year did it come out? And what one even pop vocal album that year, you know?

Yeah. Like, what was she.

That's where her dream. Her Grammy should have been.

Pop vocal. Yeah.

Teenage dream album came out in 2010. What a great year for music.

I was in 10th grade. Was that a great year for me? I think it was.

2010 Grammy winners. I think Taylor Swift had a big year that year.

Is that fearless year?

The 53rd annual 2010 Grammy winners list. How fun. Yeah. Taylor won for Fearless. Wait, where's the winner? Oh, you. Somebody was record of the year. Fearless was album of the year. Single ladies was song of the year. You guys, these were tough categories.

It was tough category.

Vocal album. She's not nominated. This must be the wrong year. But it was the end by Black Eyed Peas.

Also good.

Really?

Black eyed peace.

The end. What's.

I'm not sure if you know all the songs.

I got a feeling. If I got a feeling.

Yeah, for sure.

Okay, then. Fine. So, wait, maybe it's the 2011 Grammys. I just want to put this to bed.

Yeah. Like, who is she up against? Like, has it just been unfortunate timing for katie or are they out to get her?

Record of the year in 2011 was need you now by lady a love.

Oh, my God. Okay. Grammy winning queens.

Wait, this is what it was of against nothing on you by Bob, amazing song. Featuring Bruno Mars, love the way you lie, Eminem and rihanna, amazing song. F you. Ceelo Green, amazing song. And empire state of mind. Amazing song.

Yeah. By the way, I can make a case for any of those songs. Winning, but need you now winning. Isn't that crazy? Like, that song was so big.

Here's where she was snubbed. Album of the year went to the suburbs by arcade Fire. Now, I know I'm biased because I'm not an arcade fire fan, but teenage dream should have won.

Was she nominated?

She was nominated. Recovery by Eminem was nominated. Need you now by lady a was nominated. And the fame monster by Lady Gaga were nominated.

I think it's easier to say that now, like, in retrospect, seeing how much, you know, that album by Katy Perry, like, still lives, and the one by arcade fire, like, doesn't. Right.

So, in retrospect, it was wrong.

Yeah. In retrospect, yeah.

Wait, best new artist. This is crazy. Nominees were Mumford and sons.

Okay.

Drake, Florence in the machine, Justin Bieber and Esperanza Spalding.

Esperanza. One. Who's that? Yeah. They almost always never. It's. I feel like it's actually a curse to win best new artist. And I think when. When you're, like, a really successful artist who doesn't win it, you're not, like, that upset because, like, I think Christina, like, famously Christina Aguilera was snubbed for it. Celine Dion, like, many people of these people.

Florence in the machine, Justin Bieber, Drake and Mumford and sons.

Yeah. Like, it's almost something you don't want to win.

Yeah. And then best pop vocal album that year, she was nominated for teenage dream, but it went to the fame monster by Lady Gaga.

Like, when I think of new artists. I don't know why I always think about Alessia Cara, who had such a big year and won and then was never heard from again. And she still works. It's not like she stopped making music. She's still releasing and, like, whatever machine was behind her, like, broke.

Yeah, they broke the machine. Florence monster. Yeah, that's tough. They are both, Matt. Like, either one.

Yeah.

Okay. Damn.

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I had four because I couldn't whittle it down to three. So let me just see your whittling. Okay, this one's funny and it's like, sisterly, so we can do it. Hey, Swirly's my sister and I are very close, and I love my nieces so much. I got my niece a present she really wanted for her third birthday. I didn't assemble it. I'm pregnant. But I dropped it off for her a few days before in case she wanted it to. In case my sister wanted to have it ready the day of. My sister shared that this was a selfish gift as it was not assembled and ended up making more work for them. Is this a rule I didn't know to assemble before dropping off a gift? Is my sister being nuts or am I?

Well, I need to know what it was.

But, like, what kind of toys need being assembled. You know, all the toys. Okay.

Much like, most things at Dollhouse say a bicycle. Like, things just need assembly. But no, most people, when they give someone a gift at a party, they bring it in the box, they wrap it. Most people don't assemble something. It's nice if you do. If you're dropping it off, but you're pregnant and you gave her enough time. I think she's being a little crazy. Like, yeah, if someone dropped off a gift that we had to assemble, I would, like, be like, my husband. Ugh. But I would never think, like, they should have assembled it. They bought us a gift. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

If you're in a situation where someone's giving you a gift and you are, like, complaining about something, you are ten out of ten times in the wrong. Yeah, you can complain about it to, like, your husband being like, she couldn't have wrapped it or she couldn't have assembled it.

But I never thought, like, I've gotten a lot of children's gifts, they don't come assembled, and I never really think, damn, so and so should have assembled it.

And especially if you are complaining about a gift that came from a pregnant person. This pregnant person didn't do enough physical labor for you. Like, your sister is 1000% wrong. So you can rest easy knowing you're in the right.

Yeah.

How you want to handle it is up to you. Like, I don't know how you and your sister handle things, but you should tell your sister, seriously, to shut the fuck up. Like, this is the best part about having conflicts with sisters. Like, you can say something to them and, like, you can speak your truth, you know?

Yeah.

You don't have to mince words. You could be like, first of all, I'm pregnant. Second of all, you're being on great. Ingrate. Third of all, fine, I won't buy your. My knee skips anymore. Is that what you want? Like, what's your fucking problem?

What's your fucking problem?

This situation where, like, I think directness is of the utmost importance, and you can feel good knowing that these two sisters told you you're 1000. You didn't do one single thing wrong.

No, you did not.

You dropped it off, even.

It would have been above and beyond to assemble it, but, like, so not wrong to not do it.

And then you're setting a precedent for, like, every gift having to be assembled. No, a gift is a gift. Fuck. All the way off.

Yeah.

Which one do I want to do next? Oh, this one? Another sister one. Okay.

Okay.

Hey, Jackson Turd, longtime listener of the show, huge fan and love you both. I'm in a bit of a pickle. My sister is staying with me while her new house is getting built. And out of curiosity, I went through her journal. In it were some, um. Oh, my God, I'm having stroke. In it were some unsavory things about me, about how she isn't enjoying staying at my house. I'm passive aggressive, I'm overly critical, etcetera. In an unhinged rage, I sent her pictures of what she wrote, telling me, telling her how bad it hurt me. And now we're not talking. Can you believe she is the one mad at me, even though she's the one who wrote all this horrible stuff? At the end of the day, I miss my sister, and this feels like a huge fight, but I'm unsure of how to move forward. Am I the asshole?

Yes.

Yes.

You're seriously so toxic. Like, why are you going through your sister's journal? I don't care if she admitted to a murder in there. Like, there's nothing in there for you. And then to. Instead, like, if I feel like if I. If I did that you uncovered. I went through your journal, and I found these thoughts about me. My. I wouldn't take pictures and say, why do you think these things about me? I would be like, oh, my God, I've been passive aggressive. Like, I would try and change my behavior. Maybe that's just me not saying you need to do that, but the fact that you would be mad at her about her private thoughts, like, seriously, what do you want to control everything and everything it's giving Mao.

Yeah. No. First of all, reading anyone's journal is such a.

What? She's guilty of thought crimes.

It's such a betrayal. Like, you are so wrong for that. Like, you were going to be wrong in this situation ten out of ten times because you did that. Like, you should never do that again. And, like, you need to learn about, like, boundaries and privacy. It's so hard when somebody writes in, when they're the toaster and they're in the wrong. It happens sometimes where, like, you know, you need a third party to tell you how crazy you're being. Like, you're being nuts. So not only is reading it, like, such a betrayal, especially of a sister, like, oh, my God, but Jackie's right to then start a fight. She didn't say these things to you. She wrote them down in a journal, which is never meant to be seen or read or public.

And a lot of times, people write stuff down like that to, like, get it out, explain so that they can move on from it. So it wasn't meant. Like, she's not festering in it, probably. She's probably putting it there so that she doesn't have to bring it to you, Morgan.

And the fact that you're, like, this hurt me. It's actually your fault that those things hurt you because you were never meant to read them. So she literally owes you nothing. You owe her an apology, actually.

Or, like, if some, like, if someone less crazy, no offense, read it like, they would, and saw that their sister wasn't happy staying at their house and was having these feelings, like, you could then have, like, a talk with her, being like, are you happy here? Like, what can I do? You can even pretend like you just had a feeling, but you could have, like, had a referendum with her as opposed to a fight.

Right? And so the fact that she wrote these down and didn't, like, say them to you just means they're her thoughts. Like, they could be meaningless. She could be justified. She could not be. But reading it was wrong. And you now open, like, this whole can of worms that you shouldn't have opened, like, and what even compelled you to read her journal? It's not like you were in a fight or anything. So, like, you just decided to invade someone's utmost personal thoughts? Like, what? For fun? No, I think you need to work on yourself. Like, for real. But I love you, and I'm sorry to have been so harsh with you, but if you miss your sister, it's 1000% on you to repair. And I guess you feel like she's saying at your house, like, you're the one who can. You're doing her this big favor. How can you be in the wrong? But you are.

Yeah.

You really are. No.

And, like, don't do a favor for someone if you're just gonna hold it over their head and feel like you can treat them however you want. That's not how it works. You're doing it because out of the goodness of your heart.

Yeah. Our third and final, dear Toasters, is the oura ring aforementioned submission. Hello, my swirliest, twirliest girlies. I need your help. My husband and I went to Florida two weeks ago for our third wedding anniversary, and during the trip, he lost his wedding band, which is devastating. We haven't gotten him a replacement yet because my ring is the only one on the insurance policy, and we just really keep hoping that it's gonna show up somewhere. Last night he comes home and he claims he has the best idea he can get an aura ring as his new band. And as a bonus, he can use his HSA to pay for it. For some context, we can afford to get a new ring. I've been so sad that he lost his ring because I really thought he'd have that ring forever. Now, with an aura ring, not only does it not seem sentimental, it'll also need to be replaced once again later down the line. Am I being too sensitive, or should I let my husband replace his beautiful, original band with an aura ring?

You're not being too sensitive. But, no, an aura ring is not a wedding band. And also, he, like, wear it out.

To a bar and be like, no, I'm not married. It's just my aura ring.

Yeah, no, it's not a wedding band.

Yeah. And if you can afford it, like, get it.

Yeah.

I don't know. I don't like this whole thing where people, like, skirt around wearing a ring like this. You know, a lot of guys who golf wear that, like, rubbery one. And let me tell you, when I golfed, my. Our ring was bothering the fuck out of me. Like, I. It's a valid complaint that they have. So they wear these, like, temporary, like, rubber band. No, bitch, put your ring off.

So you're leaving all day, you're taking your ring off? Like, yeah.

I don't care what you're doing here. I just want to say it's a completely valid complaint.

And you need a reminder that you have a wife at home and your finger is going to pinch.

And if he wants an oura ring that's a completely separate.

And his HSA, great. He should get an our ring and a wedding band.

Yeah, I'm not of this culture. What do you think about people who tattoo rings on their fingers? Sure.

I don't have an opinion on it.

Instead of wearing a ring because it's so permanent.

I don't have an opinion on it. It's not my wheelhouse.

Yeah.

Like, if that works for you and your partner, great. If Zack wanted, like, that just wouldn't happen around here.

Yeah. Yeah.

You know?

Yeah, I don't mind it.

I don't have an opinion, but I.

Don'T think you're being too sensitive. Like, wedding rings, like, we're all wearing them. We're. Everyone in the marriage should wear the ring.

Like, our ring never even said, like, hey, get one so you don't have to wear, like, they never said that. No one said that. It's two separate things.

Also, I don't know what type of ring he had before, but, like, I actually been and I. Ben has lost his ring. And also you should just get used to not being super attached to the man's ring. Ben has lost his ring twice. They're so much cheaper that, like, thank God it's not me losing my ring twice. But I would try and lose a little bit of your attachment to it because, like, the actual ring that he got on the day, like, men lose their rings all the time. Like, and I feel like at some point I'm just gonna start buying fake ones, like from like a $3.

Lose it even more.

Well, I'm not gonna tell him.

Oh, that's good.

And he doesn't listen to the show. So I would just, like, come to terms with the fact, like, probably this one that you are about to get him. He's not gonna have forever either.

Yeah, but it's not a big deal. But an ora rings, not a wedding pin.

Oh, an our ring is not a wedding, man. And don't get us wrong, our rings are amazing. But a wedding ring, a wedding ring, it does not make no, if you need advice from two people who are seriously going to tell you the truth, like, sorry, whether you like it or not, do so@deertoastersmail.com. that's the email you can write us. We'll keep all your shit anonymous and even update for us. Let us know, like, how do things go? Did you take our advice? Did you not take our advice? Do you wish you did? Do you wish you didn't? Deertoasters@gmail.com or the website is thetoastpodcast.com. scroll down, there's a little submission box. Thank you guys so much for listening to the test of Monday morning show where you deliver the fastest stories you need to know every Monday through Friday. And YouTube. So we're watching as a new dude. Please feel free to subscribe and give us video thumbs up. We're also available as podcast and rare podcasts. Found out Spotify tunes teacher public video. I read a cat box. All the places, movies and podcasts. Find out the toast. Leave a five star review about how beautiful, stunning and wickedly talented we are.

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