Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the toast, you dirty little whores. Turtle.

Sorry, wrong foot. Wrong foot. And on Monday, we are starting with positivity, sanctity, and appropriateness for children.

I'm sorry I wasn't sanctuous.

You weren't sanctifying the toes, that's for sure. And you certainly were in sanctimonious.

No, that was not cool of me. I just got overly excited because I'm back with the swirly. Today's a huge, huge day. Happy Monday. First of all, to everyone hoping everybody's having an amazing, like, a truly amazing Monday. I hope you had an amazing weekend. Of course, of course. Let's get the nice cities out of the way, okay?

Yes.

Today's episode is gonna be incredible. Do want to let everyone know it is audio only, because Trudy's studio is having some construction done to it. So she's working from home. And you know what? She's not mad. She's podcasting from bed, and she just wants to say she's enjoying it. So psycho.

Don't get too used to it. Last world.

All I'm saying is I'm feeling comfortable. Feeling comfortable.

You're getting comfortable being comfortable?

I am.

I kind of love that. Like, why get comfortable being uncomfortable when you can get comfortable being comfortable?

We're, like, as a society, we're, like, obsessed with, like, feeling uncomfortable and being cool with that, you know?

I'm not for sure, but it's also weird because as a society, as a society, like, we're obsessed with, like, things being safe and sound and people feeling safe, yet they also have to feel uncomfortable. Make it make sense.

I feel like you're not comfortable being uncomfortable, Jackie. That's the vibe that I'm getting from you.

I feel like I'm not uncomfortable.

Oh, my God. She slayed you once. Don't make her slay you again. Okay, wait. We got off track. So today's an amazing day. Obviously, we're podcasting from home. Yada, yada, yada. But it's also the day that the pre sale starts for our show. So by the time you're listening to this episode, you'll probably have a little bit of time. Well, the episodes, you know, probably have. You probably have a few minutes, honestly. Actually, what the hell do I know? This could. You could be listening to this in 2025.

Like, literally, if you're listening in 2025. Hey. Hi. Adourn.

I hope it's all good over there.

I hope this. I can't even think. Like, I hope it's good with you. I hope it's good with us. If you're listening to this in 2020, if you're listening to this in 2025, like, that means that we're so bus in that people are, like, listening to old episodes. Maybe we're on vacation, you know?

So basically, bleed her. You're listening to this in 2025.

Blind her.

So most likely, you're listening to this on May 20, 2024. And if that's the case, if you are a Patreon member, our pre sale for our live shows. That's right, Jackson Claude. Are hitting. Not really the road. More like a road. We are doing live shows in New York City and the Hamptons this summer. We have five shows, two at the Beacon Theater in New York City and three at the West Hampton Performing Arts center. So, yeah, it's giving, you know where I go when we're dancing handshakes in the Hamptons. And pre sale begins at 10:00 a.m. eastern time on May 20. That's Monday. That is today for our Patreon members. So head over to patreon.com thetoast. If you are a member, you will have all the information, the links, the codes, everything you could possibly need there. And we cannot wait to see the swirlies on the road. I actually ran into so many toasters this weekend, just, like, all over. I went to the Morgan Wong concert. You know, I did my thing in the streets. I see toasters everywhere I go. And usually, you know, it depends what era of, you know, toast we're in, but they say different things to me, you know, in the five k, they were like, good luck at the five k.

And this week, congrats, grads. No? Well, actually, that's a new one.

When we did our Austin meet and greet, everyone who was coming up to us was saying, congrats, grads, which is just, like, so funny to us. And I love that's what's permeating the swirlies these days.

Yeah. But this week, when everyone was coming to me, they were saying, oh, my God, like, I need to get tickets, Jackie. Like, I kind of feel like, seriously, it's gonna be, like, the talk of the town. Like, in the Hamptons. For real.

It's the talk of the town. I mean, yeah, it's like, such a swirly night out in the hamptons, obviously for the swirlies. But I also feel, like, for Hampton nights, like, oh, maybe we should catch a show tonight. Like, what's playing in town, girly? Swirly night out. Let's go.

It's gonna be so much fun, guys, make sure to get your tickets. Jax, how are you doing? How was your weekend? I feel like I didn't even catch up with you all weekend.

I know. It was a really busy weekend. I feel like in this moment, and I hope that I'm wrong.

Are you getting sick?

I feel like I am in the fatigue moment of about to have neuro. That's how I feel right now.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Okay, wait, let's take a moment.

I know. And I'm just, like, really want to get through this episode before it all comes up. And, like, if it's gonna happen, I need. I need neuro to get on with it because I don't want to feel.

Like she's kind of being coy. She's being coy, like, taking her time.

Yeah. No, I just don't want to, like, not know. It's the not knowing, but I do. I feel uncomfortable, unbelievably fatigued. And I would say it's more than normal.

It's more than just, like, mom life, you know, et cetera.

I would say so. And I'm also feeling like I have a little bit of anxiety too. And I'm not an anxious swirly, but I'm having. I feel anxious probably because I don't know if that's what's coming. You know what I mean? Like, I'm nervous. Like, even sitting here, I'm like, do I need a bucket?

But you know what I do want to say? I don't want to freak you out, but, like, you do have, like, a rosy flush to your cheeks. I do want to say that.

I feel it. I know that I do.

Oh, my God. I mean, you know, hashem, the Lord works in so many mysterious ways. Thank God we're not doing a camera episode today. Like, that's just what you need.

Well, actually, I was wearing makeup. I could have. I could have done a camera episode today if I needed to. I'm still sitting in my studio. It definitely is nice having a cozy vibe with less word. I do have my new bins that I got for my studio. Some of them are empty. Maybe it'll be an up chuck buck.

Oh, she got, you know, she was trying to be organized, and she ended up throwing up in her bins. That's so you, Fiona.

Yeah. So I just want to make it through this episode. At the very least, make it through the announcements, which are tour tor Duluth. We are taking our talents on the road. Just the Grand Central Parkway. That's the only road. That's the only road we'll be going down.

It's actually not the GCP. It's the la.

No, it's the lie. And it's also, like, old country road. What's that road in the hamptons?

Route 27.

Take your kicks to route 26. Plus one.

Plus one.

Get your kicks. Oh, so, yeah, if I'm, like, saying everything incorrectly, which I feel. Feel like I can count on one hand, like, five times already, that was another count on one hand.

Like, yep, yep. That means a little, like you're trying to say you can count a lot of times. Right, right.

Well, it's like rebranding. 10 seconds ago, I said, like, take your kicks on route 26. Like, first of all, it's get your kicks on route 66.

Yep, yep, yep. We thought you were just being, like, quirky jacks. Honestly.

No, these are. I am misspeaking because I fear that I am on the cusp of illness, or I'm just like, really long weekend mom brain fog. I hope it's that. Like, really.

Either way, let me tell you, I'm feeling particularly chatty, and I know I always am, but, like, I'm kind of like. And I also. I have, like, a little bit of a monolog to deliver if you're ready to receive it.

I am ready to receive it to.

What? I didn't even tell you this. Okay, so it's not that crazy. I'm, like, being really dramatic. Also, I am, like I said, podcasting for bed. My heating pad is on, but I turned off my air conditioning because I don't like the sound to be bothering the audio. I'm sweating. Sweating from.

I think you should stay with your heating pad on, your ac off, like, kind of in solidarity with me.

Oh, yes. We're both feeling, like, that trickle of sweat, Claudia.

So we're both uncomfortable.

So we're both.

So we both get comfortable being uncomfortable.

So the monolog, I was being a little too serious, but I did want to talk about the fact that I went to the Morgan Wallen concert on Saturday, which I'm super excited about my first time ever seeing Morgan Wallen. And before I tell you what my thoughts were, I wanted to let you know, like, my headspace going in.

Okay, okay. And because this is a monolog, like, am I allowed to ask questions, or I'm just. Of course. Of course.

By the way, Jennie, this is a dialog, not a lecture.

It's a monolog and a dialog.

Right? I said monolog. Oh, okay. Yeah, of course. But I forgot monolog is mono. Yeah, of course.

Yeah. Like, nobody's asking questions in the vagina. Monologs.

Open dialog. Open dialog. Okay.

Okay, great.

So I went in. Never seen Morgan Wall on live. Big, big fan of his music. I feel like I've said on the show, I'm not, like, a big fan of him as a person. Like, I am really able to separate the art from the artist. He's not like my king, but I think his music is actually, like, incredible. Like, I know I knew every song, and I went into it with an open mind. You know, I feel like I always go to concerts, and whether I like the person. Let's say I go in liking someone, I always end up leaving and loving them. Like, I always just end up becoming obsessed with the person. Like, even if I was obsessed, I end up leaving ten times as obsessed. So I went in with an open heart. You know, Luke Holmes is my king, and I hate when, you know, you can't talk about with Luke Holmes without talking about Morgan Wall. And same. You can't talk about Taylor without talking about Beyonce. Like, sorry, some things are just true, and you have to bring up both. So, of course I was going into.

You hold space for both.

No, I was more so, like, pitting man against man. Like, I was really thinking, you know, I wonder how this will compare to Luke. I've seen Luke live many times, most recently his recent arena tour. So it was very similar. They play similar venues, and I was, of course, you know, just sizing them up.

You were, like, coming in kind of, like, as a Luke mole.

No, but that's the thing. Like, I really mean it when I say, like, I came in with an open heart. Like, I was like, I'm ready to be dazzled. Like, I am ready. Like, I'm. Like, I know I'm gonna leave. Being obsessed and having a hard time holding space for both, you know?

Okay. I feel like this isn't going the way I thought it was gonna go.

No, let me just tell you something about Morgan Wallen. Like, it's really crazy how far, like, a good voice and no stage presence will get you. Like, it's really crazy how, like, he doesn't even compare. And it was so crazy because the last time I was in that venue was to see the eras tour, and, like, it was just so different. Like, and, you know, I always joke, like, I hate when people talk during concerts. Like, seriously, shut up and sing. Like, I'm one of those toxic people. I don't need to hear about, like, the inspo behind this song. But, like, deadass. Morgan said nothing. I was like, who? Like, I guess those conversations are annoying, but they create connection. Like, I understand why he just really, like, his music was so good. I think he was, you know, having some vocal trouble. Like, it just wasn't. It wasn't bad by any means, because the music, the songs are so good. But I was just, like, shocked. I was like, okay. Like, meh.

Did Satchel say how it stacked up to stagecoach? She was really taken with him at stage coach. Amazing set. Life changing. And then she went to this concert. Like, was it not the same? Was maybe this an off night when.

Satchel had sent me a video of Morgan Wallen and post Malone performing at Stagecoach? Like, I remember remarking, like, oh, my God. Hey, this boy can't sing. Like, I remember thinking, like, damn vocals. Not on point, but everyone is allowed. It's a new song. I was like, okay, whatever. No. And Margot was like, margaret is not as critical. Let's say that Margot's not, you know, as pitch perfect as I am.

And also, Margot, when she rides for someone, she rides hard. She cannot see fault. I love that about her. She blindly stands, but in a very healthy way, I find.

Yeah, I completely agree. But I come into things like, as a theater person, you know, from the arts, and I'm very critical of, you know, stage performance.

She did go to the College of Arts and Sciences.

I didn't, actually. I went to the Steinhardt School of Education, but still.

To listen and learn.

To listen and learn. But there's a lot of elements to a show of that size. And, like, I have to say, I was in the pit, and I felt like he was really, like, doing, like, something to try and, like, connect with the people around him. But I can only imagine what it was like, you know, in the back or up top, like, really no connection with the audience. I thought it was so interesting and, like, flat.

Okay, well, I need to know from our audience, does that sound like an off night for Morgan Wallen, or was that your experience when you saw him, too?

And I'm not, like, a Morgan Wallin hater. I just, you know, like I said, I'm very critical of the arts as a thespian and a patron of the theater myself.

Got it. Okay. Well, I'm glad I didn't come in for it.

Yeah, Jackie was thinking about it, but.

No, it wouldn't have worked out anyway because my house was sick this weekend, so I wouldn't have been able to come. But I'm glad that it didn't work out.

Yeah.

Well, did you have fun?

Yeah, of course. I fun wherever I go. And, like, the music is so good. Like, no, it wasn't a bad concert by any means, but I have a very high bar, especially when you're at that level.

Knock your socks off playing Metlife stadium.

I'm gonna compare you to Taylor and Luke, the people I have personally seen at those stadiums.

Yeah. Your socks remained on.

Socks stayed firmly on my feet.

Got it. Okay, well, thank you for sharing your truth, Turtle. Ooh.

It's important that I remain honest, vulnerable, and authentic on the show at all times.

Yeah. Yeah. That's who we are. It's what we do.

It's what we did it, did it.

Do, do, do, do. Speaking of, how's Rocky?

Oh, just rid it.

Did it do.

Thank you so much for asking after my family. I can't really put into words how much it means, but if I had to, I would say it means the world. He's amazing. We had such a fabulous weekend together. When we went to the concert, he spent the weekend. I mean, spent the evening with his grandparents, which, you know, he loved. And it was just like a fabulous weekend of tromeo and, you know, mom's angel.

You know, mom's love. Mom's angel. Yeah, I know about that life.

You were kind enough to ask after my family. How was your. You and your family?

Good. All good. Quiet weekend here. Literally, I feel like the entire. Everyone I know has been touched by norovirus. Like, everyone, it is in their homes. It, like, took everyone by storm in this few week period, which is actually kind of good because we're all kind of out of commission at the same time. But it's actually so crazy how to follow up.

From what you asked on Friday, a lot of people did. Let us know it is more than possible to get not a virus. Exponential. The number limit does not exist.

Keep calling it nodovirus, even though it's neuro, let me tell you.

I don't even know what the real name is, but I like nodovirus.

I like no, no virus. That's what I used to call it, because when you're on the trailer, it'll.

Make you say no. We're literally two years old. But it's so funny.

But it's no row. And, yeah, everybody has been struck down by it, and it's so, so crazy. Like, it just came in with a vengeance.

So I spoke to your husband. Did he tell you?

No. So I was trying to get back at me.

I initially made contact to hurt you, obviously.

Okay.

But we ended up having the funniest conversation. So one of the new sponsors on the show is splash refreshers. Do you know what that is?

Yes, of course. Of course. And my garage is full of it.

Well, so I was like, I don't know if you were able to drink them, because I was talking to your husband. He said he drank all of them, and we're, like, obsessed with these drinks. Jackie, you know me. I can't drink water. I swear, I been having, like, three bottles of water a day. I just ordered more on instacart. And we're convinced, like, it's too good to be true. Like, the label on the back, like, zero sugar. Zero how?

I mean, that's, like, dyed snapple.

Wait, hold on. What am I hearing?

Oh, sorry. I'm crinkling something.

Oh, not. Are you.

I know. I'm anxious. I'm anxious. I'm fidgeting.

She's anxious.

I. So I was fidget spinner. So I was just, like, folding my. This little crinkle. But you're right. Sorry, miss.

Everybody heard it. Oh, my God.

No, but you're on my computer audio. They're on my microphone.

There's no way that they didn't hear it. People are gonna riot.

Guess what? I don't give a rip.

So, all that to say was that I wasn't able to turn your husband against you quite yet because we got sidetracked. Be like, we're literally launching an investigation because we think, like, these drinks are too good to be true. But just know your time is, like, don't get. Don't get comfortable. Okay. Get uncomfortable. Cause we're coming for you.

I have nothing to hide.

That's what you think.

I've got nothing to hide. This weekend, I finally caught up on summer house.

I heard people are so excited to hear your takes, and I think everyone was like, when they could. You posted on Instagram that you're caught up on summer house. You're firmly team Lindsey. You can't wait to talk about it on Monday. And I think people collectively, you know, breathed a sigh of relief because you do often come out of left field with some of your takes.

No, I feel like being team Lindsey maybe is the dominant team, but it's not a landslide. I saw people in the Facebook group being like, I can't believe Jackie's team Lindsey. She obviously hasn't watched the most recent episode. No, I'm all caught up. And more than that, I went and watched old watch what happens live because I wanted to hear what people had to say about certain things. I am so Team Lindsay, like, to the point that watching some of these conversations this season, like, actually made me angry. Like. Like, I genuinely had so many strong emotional reactions. I think that Carl, he's such a victim. Loser energy and more than that. So not only is he in the wrong, like, when it comes to their fights and, like, their core issues, I believe he's in the wrong. But the way that he, like, has gone about everything this season, it's like he's trying to start fights, create fights, and have conversations with other people, not with Lindsey, to, like, plant seeds for the viewers so that when he finally ends it with Lindsay, it feels justified. But I don't know if anybody else can sniff that out from a mile away, because also, when he has this conversation, any conversation with Lindsey has a fight with her.

Her reactions, like, she's so measured, she's so patient the way that crazy, because.

Those aren't, like, words I think people would use to describe her in the past.

Yeah, but I watched her and watch what happens live, and this is how I felt watching the season. Like, I think their relationship, they obviously had a lot of issues, but I think she was committed to working through them. Like, she knew that her marriage would be hard and it wouldn't be easy, but, like, Carl is her friend. They've been friend for a really long time. They could be married. Like, she wants to be married. She wants to have a family, and, like, she was going to work hard at her marriage every day, like, she said on watch what happens live. Like, yeah, we had our issues, but, like, I love Carl, and I'm a hard worker, and, like, I would have worked for it. So, like, I don't even think a part of her, like, feels. I'm sure now. Yeah. Feels like she dodged a bullet, but I think she knew a bullet was coming the whole time.

Yeah.

And she was ready to be, like, you know, like, deal with the bullet. And so I don't know if she's even, like, so I'm sure, like, everything happens. Her reason. So I'm sure she's, like, fine with how things have turned out, but, like, it's not like she thought her relationship was great. She was just gonna, like, life, feed her lemons, and she was gonna make lemonade, like, come hell or high water. And Carl is just, like, such a vict. Like, everything an excuse for everything. And when he talks to Lindsay, like, she's so measured, she gives him, like, not the reaction he's expecting or the one I think he's looking for to make her look crazy. And then he just references fights that we haven't seen. Like, the one in the uber where he's like, you said this, and I've seen him so many times exaggerate what she said that when he said, like, you accused me of doing drugs, like, I know that she didn't do that. I know that she asked him, what are you on? In a way of just asking, like, have you smoked weed? Because he does smoke weed. So I think there's, like.

And I feel like that's the thing that Lindsay is getting.

Like, saying, what are you on? In a fight with someone? Also means, like, doesn't accuse. That's not mean. Doesn't mean you're accusing someone of using drugs. That sometimes is a paraphrase for, like, you sound crazy. What are you on?

No, but also, it's like, you could be on, I don't know, melatonin. Like, it doesn't mean that, like, you've relapsed. And I think she's really being, like, crucified for that comment because we didn't get to see it. But I think, actually, in context, it probably wasn't nearly what we think it was, especially considering I've seen. We've seen him exaggerate the things that she says throughout this season. So I also feel like he picks fights with her when she's drunk so that she will have that sort of big reaction because everybody gets dramatic and.

So manipulative, by the way.

Yeah. And then he also says, and people will be like, well, you know, he liked Lindsey when she was sober for six months. I think that meant a lot to him. But he also says, like, lindsey doesn't have a drinking problem, and she doesn't. She drinks a lot on the show, but, like, then sometimes she doesn't. You know, not everyone who drinks a lot, like, has a drinking problem. And the way she, like, behaves when she's drunk doesn't signal she likes to drink. She's. It's a summer house. She's on a reality show. Like, okay, if she doesn't have a drinking problem, go off queen. And I feel like every time she's drunk, he's, like. Like, counting how many drinks that she's had and then also tries to have hard conversations with her. And it's like, why would anybody want to do that to drunk people? A sober person and a drunk person. Like, why would anyone want to have conversations when emotions are heated and all of that.

Can I ask you a question about this season? Because obviously I know, like, the Carl and Lindsay stuff, but I'm so super curious because I've seen a lot of discourse around Danielle. What is her role in all of this? Because she was, like Lindsay's best friend and an expert and Carl and you thought when they would get. When her and Carl break up, her Daniel are cool. So actually, I know this thing about her being drunk and saying she's a CEO.

Oh, yeah. So Danielle has kept her nose out of Carl and Lindsey's situation and I think it's been very hard for her. And I think she even said, like, I have so much. I want to say I'm bursting, but I won't because of last summer. So, like, Danielle is kind of, what's worse than that?

Somebody's saying I'm not going to get involved. But then they're like, I have a lot to say, but I'm not getting involved.

But, like, her new circle of girly swirlies. Remember last season? They, like, took her in and they were like, you're so mean to Danielle. Paige, Sierra, Amanda, they're like, you know, you're so mean to Danielle. Like, this is so sad. Oh, how they've turned on her, literally. Paige said in her conventional, Lindsay, you can have your friend back. We don't want her so much the worst vibes, so much so that Amanda even said, and Paige said to. I actually, I think we were wrong last summer about Danielle so, like, fucking crazy. That's like, unprecedented that this ever happened. And we, like, unpopularly took Lindsay side. So, yeah, I just want to say, like, chickens have gone home to roost. Told you it took some time, but the wheels of justice turned nicely.

No, we were so firmly team Lindsay last summer and it was so unpopular. Danielle was so fucking insane and unhinged. Like, at that engagement party, screaming, crying, throwing up, making everything about her truly, like, even if really just one of the most unwell. And people, like, rode for her so hard. And I think that that's so funny. I need to catch up on the season because I had heard so many good things.

You do need to catch up in the season. There are a lot of dynamics at play. So Danielle's kind of alienating herself from the girls, like, per usual. But last season, I guess, was an anomaly. And then also, I thought you were gonna ask me about Kyle and amanda.

Kyle and amanda. I feel a lot about that, too. He called her a fucking bitch.

Yeah, he did. To me, it's like, that's not even an issue.

Like, wait, that's not funny. I don't know why I'm laughing. Sorry. It was just the way you said.

Yeah, yeah. I don't know why, like, people are harping on that, but, like, my. Their issues are what is the issue to me. But they're interesting to me because, like, sometimes I'm like, why are these two people married? These people.

Yeah.

Hate each other. They do not like each other. They can't stand each other.

Like, there's never a nice moment.

No, that's the thing. There are some nice moments that are surprising for two people who don't like each other. So I'm like, oh, maybe they do like each other. There's obviously something we're not seeing because, like, they're not divorced right now. She knows how much happens. I've, like, she talks, like, openly talks shit about him and it's just, like, the truth and it's funny. And they're, like, funny, though.

I feel like it kind of might be better than, like, having feelings and not saying them, but also I think, like, so many people I've seen comparing it to Kyle, I mean, to Ariana and Tom, because they're like, Kyle's so toxic and Ariana can't see it. Like, kind of how, like, Tom was. But I feel like the difference is, like, Amanda will tell you to your face again, her husband's the worst. Whereas, like, Ariana would have died on the.

They were, like, hiding.

They were hiding into the fact that Kyle and Amanda aren't hiding. Like, married people fight. Married people have issues. Married people disagree on big life things. And I think that's what's happening. Like, that's actually normal and healthy. And the fact that they're not hiding it makes me feel like they don't have something to hide. If they had this big, like, clearly Tom and Ariana's relationship was deteriorating for, like, a long period of time before the actual affair happened. And they'll admit that now, but on the show, it was, like, never, ever discussed.

Yeah, they never even had a fight. I don't see it as the same, but I also feel like Amanda's friends, even though they're, like, there was this huge conversation between Paige, Sierra and Kyle where they, like, roasted him. And as much as they told him hard truths, like, I feel like they actually. They like him and. And they support their relationship. Like, there's something good about their. Their relationship that I don't think we see on camera where they, like, make a lot of sense. And they work because they're still together.

Yeah.

So the. The biggest issue was, like, Amanda literally going to him and being like, I want to do something for me. And I. What she was saying was, ever since I've been doing a summer house with you guys, I've always been Kyle's girlfriend or Kyle's fiance or Kyle's now wife. And I think what she really means is, like, since being on the show, she's never done her own thing. Like, think about her presence as an influencer. Like, she's just, like, Kyle's wife, and she does love her, and she does love her boy, and she doesn't, like, have her own stuff going on. And, like. And now she said, like, I want that. I want to have confidence. I want to do my own thing. And he was like. And he's like, no, I need you at lover boy. And she's like, no, I'll still help you with stuff, but, like, I want to do other stuff, too. He was. And he's like, no. I. Like, literally, no. It was so crazy that he would even say no like that.

But you want to know why? I actually think a lot of, like, the esthetic and the design and all of it.

He said, all of it is her.

It's her. I think she's, like, extremely talented and extremely creative, and I think a lot of the brand. Like, the brand book is her vision come to.

It is like, no, it is. He says that. She says that. Everybody knows that. And so she said, I'm not even gonna stop helping, but, like, I want to do something else. And he's like, no, but, like, your wife is unhappy. Everyone deserves to have something for themselves, not just, like, work for you and living your shadow.

No, I think Kyle's, like, most toxic trait, and I think what comes between, like, all of his relationships now, including his wife, is his obsession with his company. Like, it supersedes everything.

Yeah, it's true. And also, on a person, like, so professionally, like, he won't let her spread her wings and fly or, like, compromise. And then personally, like, she wants to move to the suburbs, and he says, no. And then the. So that's just like, okay, bro, like, give her the suburbs, and then maybe she'll help you more with lover boy. She's, like, happy in her backyard. Maybe she won't, like, want to be, like, going to meetings in the big city, and that's. You could both win. But also my biggest no amongst the saying she can't do anything for herself issue with him is he goes out till 04:00 a.m. he's 41 years old.

He's 40. So the thing is, it's so important. When talking, he's always like, no drunk.

Girl at the party.

Yeah.

In the city, when even when they're not filming, he's out with people till 04:00 a.m. when they're in the Hamptons. Like, she's home, and he doesn't need to stay home with her. Like, she's with her friends, and, like, he likes to go out and they're filming a show. So that doesn't bother me as much. But, like, why? Like, she says, on a weeknight, are you out until 04:00 a.m. and also complaining about your running your business. You're so busy that you burn the candle at both ends. Zachary.

No, I think also last season that was, like, so obvious when, like, a lot of the girls, the new girls who were really into partying were literally 22. Like, that girl, Samantha was so young. Kyle's 40, and he's up later than them, or he's alone with them.

Also is, why isn't Sam on the show? Like, why aren't Sam and Cory on the show? They would have been great.

Like, yeah. And then maybe are, like, thinking that there's something going on between Amanda and Jesse Solomon.

Okay. So I saw that while I was. Before I caught up, I saw that, and I was, like, so excited. Say, love, Amanda. I love Jesse Solomon. Like, that's. It's giving scandal. Yeah. You know, I know she's married woman, but, like, it's highly entertaining. Claudia? I didn't see one lick of it. I don't see a smile or comment. Like, Jesse's nice to. I would say. I would. Of course, he admitted that he had a, like, he liked Paige the first one week out there, and then everyone doesn't stop that. Yeah. And he said the same thing. He's like, yeah, she's a pretty girl. I would think sooner he has a. Holds a candle for Sierra. I would think sooner than that.

Yeah. And do. Everyone's obsessed with west. Do you like him?

I do like west as a character. And finally, we have solid single guys in the house, like Wes and Jesse Solomon. Like, please stay in the house. Some interesting guys who don't just, like, work out the whole time in the Hamptons and have bad personalities. Like, they get along with each other. They get along with everyone. Like, west and Sierra are really cute. I love Ciara's approach to being in a relationship and dealing with this man who, like, is really into her, but, like, won't give her, like, a little bit more. You know what I mean? Like, he wants to, like, cuddle and make out and hook up, like, the whole summer, but, like, she wants more than that. And, like, she's asking for it, and I just. I just. She's got her head on straight, and it's so refreshing to see someone like that.

The thing about summer house when it comes to the girls is that they carry the show, and they always have. But it's really particularly fabulous to watch a show of such beautiful.

Oh, yeah.

Stylish, funny. Like, they've got it all. They're beautiful, stunning, and smart. Like, it's really. It's a treat.

It's a treat. And then also, what's so funny about the show is the whole show. It's like, literally everyone has conversations in private, and then they have them again in public, right? And then they break off and do them again in private. And, like, every dinner is, like, a referendum on someone's relationship, and they're all sitting around like it's group couples counseling, except the counselors are also in terrible relationships. It's the craziest thing, everyone offering, like, unsolicited advice when they have a terrible track record in relationships. But it's just so wild how, like, you can't have a conversation with your husband or your boyfriend without it being, like, table fodder. And that's. And most of the time, it's fine. Also, this is a show, so we're gonna talk about things. But, like, there were some. There's, like, a conversation between, like, amanda and Kyle that's like a marital spat. And it was so weird that it was happening in front of.

That is really, really weird. Like, some, like, can be private.

It's like, danielle sang to paige about her relationship, like, saying, like, you give Craig nothing. Well, she was also just being, like, a wench, but, like, who are you to? And then also, it's like, other people, like, Kyle giving Carl relationship advice. It's like, bro, like, your wife is crying.

Stop the blind leading the blind.

It's the show. Is the blind leading the blind when it comes to relationships? Or, like, people talking about, like, west and Sierra's blossoming relationship and, like, what they should do. I'm like, you shouldn't listen to any of these people.

No, it's so true.

Like, every p's and Q's except for Paige, because her advice is on point and her counsel is on point obsessed with her and Craig obsessed with her and Craig. Just seriously, like, obsessed. I really do wonder, though, who's gonna move and not when. I'm sure. Like, whatever. I'm sure that's the most annoying question. But I always thought Paige would move to Charleston. Like, that would be the plan, and it hasn't happened because she doesn't want to yet. But then on watch what happens live, there was a poll, and everyone voted that, like, craig was going to move to New York first. And Paige was like, yeah, well, I.

Think that's more, like, less about, like, their schedules and their lives and more just about the fact that, like, you know, craig, I think, would seriously, like, lay his life out on the line for Paige. Like, we're obsessed. Like, he's.

Yeah.

Like, as a good husband should. By the way, I'm not fucking moving.

Yeah. Yeah. But when you think about, like, their schedules and their lives.

Yes. No, she can really. They can spend the summers in the Hamptons.

Like, she could still do summer house if she lived in Charleston. Could he still do southern charm if he lived in New York?

No. And, like, if she goes to Charleston, there's a job for her there on southern charm.

Right. She'd be on two shows, and then they could both.

They could really snowbird. They could. They really could do half and half. And Paige is, like, a full time content creator, and there are, you know, so many gigs and opportunities, like, being in New York. You just. You make more money and you get more opportunities. So I think that they can spend, like, 60 40, like, New York Charleston Morgan.

So I think they do that right now, but it's not based on the season. It's just, like, based on the days.

Of the week, and it's not official.

Yeah. So, yeah, like, I'm happy. Oh, yeah. They're very happy. I'm very invested. And, like, summer's coming up, so what's gonna happen? And I feel like this summer, like, everyone will be back. Oh, and you know who I love, and I'm sad that I didn't mention her sooner. Gabby. Like, I absolutely love her. It took a while to get to know her, especially because she leads with, like, all that astrology stuff, and.

And it's. It's seriously so hard not to roll your eyes and turn off the tv.

But you had, like, just in a side.

I had a lot of respect for her last season when she didn't, like, immediately join the cool girl crew, and they were all turning against Lindsay, and, like, bringing. She stood firmly on team Lindsay. Like, and it wasn't popular and I think she just, like, had a, like. Like, went on what she thought was right and fair, not the viewers would think.

She has a good friendship with Lindsey. She's actually, like, a pretty good bridge. But, like, Lindsay's getting along swimmingly with the girls. And also Carl. This is classic Carl victim energy. He's, like, talking about how he doesn't talk to other people about his issues with Lindsey because, like, she would get mad if. If he were talking about their issues with other people. Like, he's scared of her. I think he literally said something to that. Like, I'm afraid. He said, like, I'm afraid of her. Like, meanwhile, every weekend, Lindsey goes out, and she's telling the girls everything. Not in a bad way, like, opening up to her friends sort of way. Like, Lindsey is being, like, so honest about their relationship, not sugar coating it whatsoever, not demonizing Carl, just, like, airing her frustrations, not hiding anything from the cameras or from the house. Like, what? Who are you talking about? Kyle. Like, he's lit. Carl. He's literally talking about a person that is not his fiancee.

Right.

And he wishes that it was so that he could look like the good guy when he leaves, and he does not look like the good guy. And I guess there are some people who disagree and maybe are, like, kind of. No offense, like, naive and buying what Carl is selling.

Yeah. Yeah.

And I. And they're gonna be like, Jackie, how could you? Like, I am so firm on this. Nothing's ever been clearer.

Oh, wow.

Nothing's ever been clearer.

I'm so glad that you're all caught up. You're making me definitely want to watch.

I can't mean call you and say that you have to watch.

Okay. By the way, I'm on it.

And they just taped their reunion. Looking forward to that.

And I'm looking forward to the fast five. You've got five fabulous stories for me, is that correct?

I do. I do. Yeah. Actually, we have a lot of stories today. I would say the theme of today's story is our romance.

Oh, my God. Are you trying to wind and dine me, girly?

Um. Always.

Without further Adido, here are the fast five.

Sorry. Here are the fast five stories that you need to know.

Today's episode of the Toast is brought to you by Quince, the weather is getting warmer, so it's time to say goodbye to jackets and sweaters and say hello to shorts and tees. We wanted to update our wardrobes for the long haul without spending a fortune. And luckily, we found Quince. Now we've got a lineup of timeless pieces that keep us looking effortlessly chic year after year. It's no secret that Quince has become one of our favorite sponsors here at the toast, mostly because what they stand for is exactly what Jackie and I, me specifically, have been trying to accomplish in the last year or so is investing in fewer pieces but better quality. And Quince is perfect for that because they are super, super affordable. And I feel like they have really, really good pricing. They have premium european linen dresses, blouses and shorts from $30, washable silk tops, timeless 14 karat gold jewelry, and so much more. The best part is that all of Quince's items are priced 50% to 80% less than similar brands, and they do that by partnering directly with top factories. They're cutting out the cost of the middleman and passing the savings on to us.

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Right now, our listeners will get an additional 15% off an annual membership@masterclass.com. toast that's 15% off right now@masterclass.com. toast masterclass.com Toast Today's episode is also brought to you by fashion Pass. We have been fashion pass girlies for years, in case you don't remember. It's a clothing rental service. And what makes this clothing rental service different from all other clothing rental services? Oh, the clothes are actually cute. They are from brands you will actually want to wear, from brands that are being sold currently on websites you're already shopping at. It's like, clothing rental is great, but so many of the services just have the ugliest, most grandma looking things. Fashion pass is different because, one, it was started by a toaster. So it's a toaster run business, which we love. But they have brands like for love and Lemons, Love Shaq, Fancy, good American. Show me your moomoo free people. So many more that we love and that we actually search for, like, regularly. The plan that we're on is called the trendsetter plan. You get four clothing items per order and you can switch it out as often as you want. You don't have to wait.

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Thank you, last world.

You're welcome.

Our first story is actually the big news from the weekend. Really, really crazy, frightening news. A video.

Oh, my God.

Video on Friday came out of diddy footage from 2016 at a hotel that shows him shoving and kicking his ex girlfriend Cassie. So the video shove it around.

Kicking is, like, so not even abusing, yelling.

There's no sound in the video, but I'm sure most of you have seen it by now. And if you haven't, by the neck.

He slams her on the floor, chases.

Her out of the hotel room in his towel. She's leaving, like, hooded. She had said, like, they in the lawsuit, she had said that she left the room because, like, he gave her a black eye and then he fell asleep. So she snuck out, but he woke up, and he came and, like, chased her down and is abusing her. And the video is. Is graphic, and it's. It's extremely clear what's going on.

And there's so much to unpack from it because you have to understand, like, to act that way in a public space. Now it's a hotel room, but it's still the hallway. That's public space. Public domain. I can only imagine what sort of atrocities were happening behind closed doors. The hate I have in my heart for this man is so insane. I think he's the most low life piece of shit, disgusting animal on the planet. Fuck him. That video he put out, I'm taking responsibility. Yeah. Who the fuck else bitches like? And it's literally the definition of you're not sorry. You're sorry you got caught. Like, no, he can eat my fucking ass. I hate this man.

I didn't think the situation could, like, make me any angrier until he put out this video that had my blood boiling. He said, it's so difficult to reflect on the darkest times in your life. Sometimes you got to do that. I was fucked up. I mean, I hit rock bottom, but I make no excuses. My behavior on that video is inexcusable. Like, if you think for 1 second anyone thinks that that was an isolated incident and that was the worst of it. That was rock bottom. That's how you behaved outside of the room like.

Yep.

Like, he'd be better off not releasing a video. What he should do is sell his assets, hoard his money, move, sell his assets while they are worth something, save his money and go live a quiet life. And pray he doesn't end up in jail.

No. Like in a country with a non extradition, whatever it's called. Because if this video exists, and you have sick to think about, this video existed. What is it? 2016? That's eight years. I don't know what happened in the world of Diddy that caused this one particular video to get released. And I'm sure it is a part of evidence that, like, Cassie probably spent years putting together. I'm sure there's tons of other footage like this. I don't know what the hell happened to make this one video. And this probably isn't even the worst of it. I'm not sure why we're seeing this video, but the fact that this hotel had the video, gave it to like, so many things had to happen and we. It took eight years for this video to see the light. Like, how many people were involved in covering this up really makes me sick. I only wish genuinely the most miserable life for this prick may. Seriously, you. Seriously. Oh, my. It was such a. Such a fucking upsetting video. And I feel like there have been a couple of videos and it's always like, elevator footage or security footage from a hotel that have come out about public figures.

I feel like I remember one of. And, like, certain ones, like, stick with you. I remember that NFL guy was. He was just so big and she was so small. Like, it was so. The difference in their sizes was so, like, obvious in the video. And it's something you, like, never forget. I don't. I just watched this video. I don't even know what I was watching at first. I might not have even chosen to watch it, but it will stick with me. It horrified me to my core. I will never forget it.

Yeah, rotten hell.

Like, seriously rotten hell.

You low path. The thing about the reason why it's so. I'm actually shocked that he put out a video apologizing, taking accountability.

Like, there's.

There's no path back to polite society. Like, none whatsoever.

The civilized we remain over here. You are not a part of us. You actually cannot sit with us.

Right? Like, I can't believe that he showed his face and like, and for what? There's no. There's nothing that's going to. Even if, like, I don't know, for shareholders or something like this moves. No needle. No needle has been moved. In fact, it was. It made it move the needle backwards for me that, like, oh, you really think that, like, this is something that can be apologized for?

No. Him saying, I take full responsibility. Like, who else? It's. He was you. We saw.

No, it's not funny. But, like, the fact that it's. That. That anybody that he or the people around him, like, thought, like, okay, well, so we'll put out an apology video like that that would mean anything to anyone is comical.

Proves how really nuts he is. Like, and men like that, even men who aren't, like, famous and wealthy and who are abusers, like, they're sick in the head. They think they're fucking, like, star. Yeah.

And he probably has, like, a God complex for being, like, so successful so.

Many guys and getting away with so much star. Like, he is the worst of the worst, who then became a successful, godlike figure in culture. I can really only imagine how fucking evil to his core. He is, like, seriously low life. Oh, my God. And you know what? I hate to, like, bring this up, but it does make so, like. And I think a lot of people have thought this for a while, but, like, you know, the mysterious death of Kim Porter, his longtime wife or girlfriend, it just makes everything, you know, questionable now.

No, I don't know, actually.

You don't know Kim Porter?

No.

So after Cassie, I'm just googling. So I have the exact right. She passed away in 2018. She was a model, and she dated p. Diddy for. Let me tell you how long I'm on Wikipedia.

They said that her. The coroner's office said her death was the result of Lobar pneumonia, but friends of hers have insinuated that that's not the case.

She had an on and off relationship with rapper and record executive Sean Combs. They had a son, Christian combs, and twin daughters. And they were, like, on and off since, like, the early two thousands.

So a friend of hers also wrote. She was just about to turn in a book she wrote about her life, and then she suddenly just died. Pneumonia can be faked so easily by a doctor.

At the moment, morgue, there are a lot of. And I think there have always been, like, people just being like, oh, this is weird. Like, a young, beautiful, healthy mother doesn't just, you know, vanish, you know? And I think for so long, there were so many rumors about Diddy and then in the last year, it's, like, come to light that and even Cassie's lawsuit with him was all, like, under wraps because they settled out of court. So there was, like, never really anything firm, but, like, weird vibes. No. Like, Kim Porter and. No, there's so much more here. And it's sick.

It's really sick. Plus, all the federal stuff, the human trafficking.

Right. The parties.

Yeah, but to, like, it's. This is so personal.

Yeah.

And.

And just the sheer fact that it was done, like, in a public square, like, seriously sends a chill down my spine.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, we'll keep you posted.

I'm going out of my way to, like, not if I'm in a restaurant. They're playing that music. I'm leaving. Like, that's how mad I am. No.

Like, if there is Ciroc at the bar, goodbye.

No, I want this man cut out of culture. Like, for real?

Yeah, for real.

For real. You will not catch me part. And if somebody. If you see me listening to a song you said and, oh, Claudette, did you know Sean Diddy produced that? Because I might not know that. Please let me know. I will not literally ever fuck with this man.

Mm hmm. Well, frightening, but are you ready for a story?

Yes.

Gonna just switch gears.

They said romance news.

Yes. All right. Now we'll get to the romance news.

Okay. Thank you.

Switching gears, because the rest do follow a pattern.

Okay.

But this is shocking. I know I said on the show literally a week ago, and then the universe was like, okay, we'll show you. I know. I said I couldn't be moved by any celebrity breakup news, that it wouldn't actually shock me, you know, in my personal life.

Yeah. Like, there's nobody out there currently that you're riding for.

It wasn't even about writing. It was about, like, caring enough to care. Caring enough to care. And this wasn't even a couple I cared that much about. But rumor is that Ben Affleck and J Lo are splitting. And the way I was shot, literally, my reaction was, no.

Okay. By the way. Yeah. I'm so glad we're talking about this, because it's unconfirmed, but there are rumors that, like, it's like, there's only separate lives.

There's a lot of rumors swirling amongst.

The swirlies, and let me just tell.

You, I'm tired of rumors. Swirly.

You couldn't write something funnier than, like, we've been talking about Jlo's flop era and so many of, like, the. The core moments of her flop era. And I think like things we could look on are like those two movies she released and the first was like that self funded thing and it was like a live studio album. It was all about the heart factory. It was like, and it was like a metaphor of her relationship. So it's like she went on a limb and like self funded this project and like people ripped her to shreds for it, but it was all in the name of love. But now her and this man are no longer. And then her documentary, which went viral for all negative reasons. You know, when my hair is nice and wild like this, I remember like I'm back in the Bronx and I'm just free and like it really started this hate train for J. Lo. But there were so many things in the documentary that people pointed out about her relationship being really toxic and, and Ben Affleck really not being able to talk to her on like a human level because she's so, she, like, you know, what's the phrase when like you think you're so great, you like eat.

Your own shit, you know, drinks your own Kool Aid?

Yes. Thank you so much. You would literally work in my brain. You're a little woman and you sit in my brain and you just like know everything. Thank you. Yeah, like she just drinks her own Kool Aid and like you literally can't talk to her.

Oh, interesting. Because the only person that I know who watched that documentary was Olivia Ashre who came away with it with such a love for Ben and Jen.

Like, but let me tell you, Olivia Ashre is so special because the thing about Olivia Ashrae is to her core she's a fucking hater. She could find something to hate about like the most delightful thing. And that's literally one of my favorite qualities about her because I'm the same way. But she like hates on the most random things. Like it's never the obvious thing for Olivia.

Like, so you're saying when something is hateable, actually Olivia is going to love.

It because with Olivia she's never gonna, she's not a leader, she's not a.

Follower, she's a leader, she's a thought leader.

In Austria, you can't tell Olivia Ashrae who to hate for sure.

But like I didn't feel like Olivia came to that conclusion by way of proving people wrong. Like I feel like she genuinely watched it and her takeaway was like, they are have an amazing relationship. Like their love is so beautiful. It's an amazing thing to see.

Let me also say that a lot of the hate comes from, like, snarky Gen Z tick tock. And I do feel like Olivia Ashrae perhaps is, like, the target demo for J Lo. Like, Olivia grew up in an era where the J. Lo music, like, seriously was a soundtrack to her childhood. Age wise, I think that, like, olivia's a real believer in love and, like, fairy tales, and that's so Jlo. I actually think, like, I had never thought about it before, but I think Olivia stans J Lo.

Perhaps she does. But let's get to the news at hand. But I do want to say I do feel like a lot of my strength and belief in their relationship, like, came from just Olivia's. She didn't even know it, but she just, like, mentioned that. Oh, like, they're OTP. And I took that as fact. So then to come to find out.

Your older sister has, like, such an influence on you. I love that.

Yeah. Yeah. I didn't. I don't know why I wouldn't.

You must feel about me.

Like, that's how you must feel about me, bitch.

No, no. Like, you feel that. Like, it's so beautiful that my older sister has an older. Has an influence on me.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I feel that way about you. Feeling that way about me.

Thank you. Yeah, I said it in a confusing way.

Thank you for taking ownership of that and accepting accountability.

It's a pleasure.

Anyways, rumors at hand are that their marriages on the rocks. He left his wedding band behind on Friday in photos obtained by TMZ as he was pulling. As he was pulling up to his child's recital. And cameras caught him when he lifted his left hand while driving, revealing that he was without his ring.

No. Not wearing a ring literally means nothing I need as a society, even though a man actually, I take it back. Ben, does your husband ever take off his wedding ring? Like, shower, pool, sleep?

I don't think so.

Ben Zoffer has never taken off his wedding ring, except one time he was playing with it, waiting for the subway, and it fell into the tracks, and then we had to get a new one, and that was the last time he ever took it off. I actually don't even know if it would come off. So for a man, it actually feels a little bit more intentional. They don't take off jewelry on and off like we do for workouts and stuff.

Okay. But I feel like for Ben Affleck, like, wearing one piece of jewelry every day is hard for him. Like, he doesn't seem like a jeweler. He seems jeweler adverse. And this is just me one. Me making excuses, for sure. And, like, being in denial, which is where I am.

No, you're saying, like, Ben Affleck kind of feels like a slob, right?

Yeah. Like, I feel like he doesn't. Like, he would be like, I don't want this on me. You know, like, angry. Like, I'm wearing my oura ring. Shout out oura ring for sending me this. And, like, I'm hating ever. Like, I'm so aware that I'm wearing it, and I. And I want to take it off, but the point is, you have to sleep with it. And I love. Or. This is amazing. I think I hit my activity goal for the day. I love ordering, but I do feel and relate to Ben Affleck by way of saying, like, I don't like wearing my ring. I don't really like wearing jewelry. I take my jewelry off the minute that I can, and sometimes I run out the door. I would say more often than not, I'm not wearing my ring.

All right, so, Jackie, call it for me. Do you think that the rumors of them splitting up are real?

I also think that these two are a couple.

She's avoiding the question.

No, no, no. I'm giving you all of the.

She's getting there.

The thought processes that go behind my answer. I also feel like this is a couple. They remind me of, like, Jen and Brad, where they're always going to be headlines about them. Like, they could literally be so happy. Married for 50 years, picket fence, grandkids, and people are like, they're on the rocks.

They're tabloid fodder. That's a really good way of putting it.

So. And given what Olivia said and what Olivia said, me being optimistic and in denial, I'm saying they're not splitting up.

All right, we'll check back in. Why don't you say, jackie, if you're listening, in the year 2025, I wonder if we were right.

Okay. Not splitting up right now. Like, maybe they'll split up in six months, but, like, I don't think that this is it. And why don't you call that they are splitting up? So either way, like, the toast was right.

I don't. I do think that they are splitting.

Up, but what do you actually think?

Like, I could see it, you know, like, the news. It wasn't the craziest thing to me. Like, I could definitely see it.

Oh. Like, to me, it was the craziest thing I could read that day. And who would have thunk? Who to thunk?

Who to thunk?

Our next story is a little more relationship news. As promised, Kendall Jenner and bad Bunny are fueling some reconciliation rumors as rumors report that they're having fun together. So she was spotted at his concert over the weekend, and apparently, are they spending time together when they can? A source told Entertainment Tonight. There's always a strong connection between them whenever they're together. And they have the same chemistry that.

They'Ve always had this, like, such big news. And I was like, what's the big fucking deal? They were together for, like, a little while, and they were just spotted after the Met gala. So, like, they're obviously back together. What's the big deal? Why are people freaking out? And it would be like, well, are they? Or they. They are. Like, what?

What more concert? You don't go to, like, your long term exes concert. And they were together after the Met gala. I think that's where they got back together.

No, I think that they had been, like, chatting.

Like, do you think they ever broke up?

Yeah. Did they say they did?

They don't say shit. They never even said they were together.

I'm so not invested in this. Like, if they're together, that's amazing. Oh, they broke up. I hope they're both find happiness. This isn't anything I, like, feel really, any way about strongly, negatively, or positively. Like, good, good, good.

Can I say something crazy? I don't think it's that crazy. I don't think it's that crazy. But I feel like Kendall and I. I chip this. I want this to be, and I want Kendall find love and be happy, actually, no matter with whom. I don't know, mister Bunny. So, like, I just want her to be happy by herself with someone else, whatever. Like, I'm coming at this from a place of, like, you just. You just have to cover all your bases before you say something. Like, I'm about to say Fiona. I feel like she's always in on off relationships. There's always on and off ness. And I feel like not every, like, not everyone's like that. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah. Like, sometimes you just break up with the person. You never see them again, or sometimes you don't and you get married.

Like, yeah, but, like, on off, on off with, like, everyone. It's not good.

Yeah. Yeah. I was thinking something differently. Like, what do you think it's like to be Kendall Jenner? Just in the sense that, like, oh, there's, like, a new tv show or, like, a new whatever. And there's, like, this hot guy and, like. Like, any guy in the world you could have, like, seriously, any single one.

I think it's a lot of pressure.

Okay. Do you think there's a man on earth who. A straight man on earth who wouldn't.

Like, have a date with her? Wouldn't want to go on a date?

Yeah.

Well, there's always, like, one of anything. People are seriously mentally ill these days, you know?

It's true.

It's true.

It's a good point. But, like, I just. I wonder, like, that power, what that must be. Like. I feel like I'm.

I think it's a lot of pressure. I think. And I imagine that's a part of, like, a lot of the anxiety she feels, and, you know, she doesn't, like.

Always go for the obvious choice. Like, obviously, she dated Harry Styles. That's, like, the most obvious one. But other than that, I feel like she gets creative. Like, who in the world was Ben Simmons, you know?

Yeah. Devin Booker's not a nobody.

He's not a nobody, but he's, like, a short king, and he was on, like, kind of a random team.

Kind of, yeah.

On the Lakers. Like, or the Knicks or.

It's not like. It's not like, didn't it look Alinari?

No. Right? I mean, that's the thing. If I was Kendall Jenner, I would be married to Danilo Gallinari.

If you were Kendall Jenner, who would you, like, tell your publicist you want.

To date with Joe Manganiello.

Oh, really?

Yeah. Who would you tell your publicist? Elon. Okay. Yeah. She really is sick. Oh, my God.

I literally knew Kendall and Elon. Shit.

I could see it. I could see it.

I could see it, too. Anyways, they're back together. I'm happy about that. I want them to stay together. Is that too much to ask? I can't deal with. I can't deal with all this. Like, it's willy nilly. Not from her. Like, and them, just in general, even Ben and Jen?

Yeah, but that's more so, like, tabloid culture. Like, maybe nothing's going on with either of them. Maybe they. Kendall and Jet. Kendall and bad Bunny. What's his real name? Kendall and bad never broke up. And maybe Ben and Jenner. Fine.

What is his real name? I know it.

I feel like it's, like, Chris.

No, but, like, when I say it, we're gonna be like, oh, yeah.

I mean, as a tostada myself, I really should know that.

Benito.

Oh, I did know that.

Benito. Antonio Martinez ocasio.

We. I just learned a new word in Spanish. That I feel like we should start adding into our everyday life.

I know. Cheese me.

Cheese me. But. So cheese me means gossip, which is obviously something we're proficient at. But there's, like, a little nickname. Hold on, I need to. I forgot already. Cheeseman. For, like, a little girl who gossips a lot. Like, gossip girl.

Cheese mita.

Something like the cheese meat. Oh, hold on. Cheese me. Nickname. I just have to google it because somebody. Yeah, cheese me. Why am I such a hard time?

Cheese melita.

I think it's cheese mita. Oh. Cheese mossas. Cheese mossas. That's us.

Cheese mossas.

Mossas.

Okay, what if you're a singular cheese mosasau? Oh. Chismosa.

La chismosa. Las chismosas.

Las guerlis. Chismosas.

Title.

La turd.

Title.

Okay. Title. Are you ready for our next story, which is some more relationship news? It's story number four.

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Thank you. La Swirly. She's Mosa. Okay, our next story. Super cute relationship news. Finally, like, some consistency and some steadfastness and loyalty around here. Finally, Travis Kelsey reveals his favorite song off of Taylor Swift's new album. And he revealed his top three favorite Taylor songs at the moment, all of which are extremely telling. So he hosted his Kelsey jam this weekend, the second year of his music festival, with his brother, the other Kelsey in Kansas City, featuring performances by Lil Wayne, Diplo, two chains. Speaking exclusively with people at the event, he revealed his not so surprising favorite song off of TTPD. He said, I might be a little biased to so high school, but that's the one.

And then he said, his top three Taylor songs are blank space, the Alchemy.

And then so high school. But if the alchemy's number two, why isn't it his number one from the album?

I think maybe the second question was, like, in no particular order, you know?

No, but I do feel like blank space is his fave. But maybe. I agree, but that two and three are interchangeable. But definitely blank space is his fave. He, like, lights up when that one comes on at arrows, right?

Yeah. Yeah, he does. I love that he's, like, not growing tired of being asked about her, because I think people who, like, have their own things are always, like, so. Like, I'm so much more than, like, Taylor Swift. Like, you are, but we don't give a fuck.

No, it's so true. It's such a trash show.

Yes. If you had ever asked Joe all when, like, a question about Taylor's, I'd be like, well, my films really like you. Nobody gives a fuck about you and your fake films.

You literally wouldn't because you'd be, like, blackballed from his press tour.

Yes.

For the future. Like, no one would actually do that. That's, like, a lot of relationship. And I do think it goes both ways. Men not wanting to talk about women and women not wanting to talk about men. But, like, you love this person. It's fun. Like, let's just have some fun.

No. And for me, as always, like, it's extremely gendered. Like, yeah, don't ask the girl about her boyfriend. Like, we literally don't care. But, like, a guy being asked and, like, being so excited and proud of his girl, especially if his girlfriend's, like, more, like, famous and successful than him. Like, and not being weird about it like, that. You're right. Is such an attractive quality. I feel like it represents, like, a real sense of security and, like, we're gonna stand always and forever, but no, like, let's talk about your dumb movie. Joel and your period piece again, he made the same movie, like, six times.

Yeah, but I also think, like, when you're so secure in who you are, like, I feel like with Joe wall, when it's like, if they asked about Taylor, they wouldn't stop asking about Taylor.

Right. Because, like, at the end, like, with Travis, seriously wasn't famous for anything. I know he had been in movies.

He wasn't not successful.

No, but he wasn't a person whose name. He would have just been, like, a british actor who shows up in random things. Like, nobody would know his actual name.

Yeah. I just think Travis is, like, really secure in who he is. So he doesn't mind if the conversation is not always about him. And as stated, that's an attractive quality.

Yeah. Like, at the end of the day, I think the whole theme of Travis and his relationship with Taylor was, like, it's not that serious. He doesn't have, like, think about every question. Like, you gotta ask the question and.

Answer the end, but, like, it is serious. Patty Stanger said that he should be proposing by July.

So there are rumors that they're engaged, but, like, they're like, you know, I.

Mean, you know, where's a great place to get engaged? Paris. Or lack of deComo.

Or Sweden. You know, like.

Or Sweden.

No, but he wasn't in Sweden. He went back for Kelsey jam.

Kelsey ballerini jam?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They should have her perform.

Thousand percent. I'd perform.

No, no. But you're not Kelsey jam.

No, no. But I have two hit songs, so I would do it if they wanted me to, but I'm probably, like, busy.

Yeah. Or is it not also, like, a podcast festival?

No, I think it's music.

But they're a podcast. Yeah, it is. Or with his brother.

With his brother. And they've been doing it since before the podcast got it.

Well, they should add a podcast component, and then actually, we'd be eligible.

And then maybe if they had a business that they would care about. But they would know what it's like. But they don't.

But they do, and they still don't.

Right.

They have a business, but they still don't care. Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

Yes.

It's something I need to break down with you.

Okay.

It's food news. It is food news, technically.

Okay.

McDonald's is adding a sad option to replace the happy meal. Smile.

No fucking way.

In honor of mental health Awareness week, McDonald's is acknowledging that sometimes a happy meal is actually a sad meal. TMZ. Reported on Wednesday that the UK division of the company is emphasizing mental health for May 13 to 19th with a major rebrand of their iconic happy meal. Dropping the smile from the box and the happy from the menu item.

This is dead ass disrespectful to anyone who's ever struggled with their mental health. Like, for real, like, is my mental health a joke to you?

No. And it's like, this isn't helping mental health. Like, if anything, if you're actually, like, think that this would have any sort of reaction on someone's mental health, which maybe it would like, I do think it would. It would be negative for them. Sometimes you need to see a smile. Sometimes you need to see the word happy. Like courts.

No, let's give in. Giving in and giving up.

The erasure of smiles and happiness is not good for overall mental health.

No. Deadass any of the World Health organizations to get involved. Like, this is really bad like this. I seriously, I think it could. I'm thinking about my own mental health right now. Like, how I feel since knowing this story before and after. Like, my mental health has deteriorated vastly in the last 15 seconds and it's all on McDonald's. And during mental health Awareness month. How dare they?

When I climb into bed, I start feeling sad. Period.

Period.

No. And I do feel like sometimes when you're going through something, like, seeing something could trigger you, like, sure. But when it. What it applies to, like, being sad versus being happy that this is not the case.

Like, I don't think that they're seriously thinking that these boxes are gonna, like, they're not thinking of it in the real world. Like, tangibly helping. They're thinking, like, we're spreading awareness. Well, your awareness sucks.

You don't think it's meant to be like, you know, we know not everything's happy. The, they have. So the boxes, which also, by the way, this is like an expensive, dumb endeavor. Like, not only it's expensive to change your boxes for six days, the boxes have a range of emotion stickers for kids to replace the iconic smile with another emotion of their choosing.

So it's like, and by the way, that's the other thing, is that happy meals are geared towards children. So what are we, what are we.

Telling, like, not we want unhappy children, but like, we want to not be promoting happiness amongst children, even if it's just like, okay, no, we'll meet you where you're at meals. No, I want aspirational meals. I want happy meals. Get the kids smiling. Yeah, sure. Maybe I'm having a frown day. That happens. That's normal. But like I want to want to smile, not to just accept this frown.

She wants aspirational meals.

I do. I want aspirational meals.

I'm not gonna add anything cuz you said it perfectly.

Eat for the mood you want, not the mood you have.

Right? No, no. What if we're all just giving into our bad moods now?

Yeah, and I think that's a bad precedent to separate children.

I think so too.

Whatever happened to turn your frown upside down?

No, no. Now it's turned your upside down frown.

I'm sure it's also like, no, stay in your frown. And I disagree with that. Like, I feel like that is where like the dialog is going. It's like, let's sit in our frown. You know, let's acknowledge our frown.

But like no combating the frown at every.

With the goal of turning my frown upside down. Like sure, I'll do whatever I need to do to turn my frown upside down, but that's still my goal. You tell them we're just getting like really far. And I just. I also feel like, I mean, the proof is in the pudding. Mental health has never been like a bigger topic of conversation in history.

Mental health has never been worse. It's in the shitter.

That's what I was gonna say. Like in history, we have never spent as a society, like more time, energy, resources, talking about dealing with mental health. And mental health has never been worse, period. Now you might say like, because mental health is so bad, we have to do all those things. But no, I think that they. I think that they are related to each other.

I think the toast should be mandatory viewing and everyone will be fixed and.

Have a happy meal too.

Well, that's for damn sure.

Like, I feel like a happy meal is exactly what this world needs, you know?

Of course. No, we're getting rid of the happy meal. Oh my God. Like the mental health crisis is about to get ten times worse.

Yeah.

Can I ask you a question? Like, now that we've done the fast five stories and at the very beginning, like, you thought you weren't gonna make it through and you were gonna crap your pants, how are you feeling? Your cheeks look less red. Just letting you know. Maybe you were just tired.

I do feel a lot better.

Thank God.

I'd like. I mean, maybe I'll climb into bed and throw up my guts. But no, I didn't deteriorate. And my face is still really flush and warm. But that's like a regular day in the life of me, you know, maybe.

Of a flush to, you know what?

I wonder if my oura ring has any news for me about, like, why I'm feeling this way. Don't they, like, take your temperature and.

Monitor your heart rate extra. Do they take your temperature? That would be so smart.

Yeah, they can. I think they, yeah, they can. They do. But you might have to connect it to an outside app. I know it connects, like, natural cycles. Well, that way you want to track, like, your period and stuff. Oh, I reached my activity goal just now. Doing the toast, talking with my hands.

The toast will get your heart rate up.

Yeah. Let's see about my, where would it be? Resilience. Celebrating my resilience. My readiness. Everything is in the blue. I think I'm good. But, Claudia, you're getting an ora ring, right? I can't wait to share one.

I'm really excited.

I can't wait to share notes and see how you're sleeping.

I hope that everyone listening was able to get their tickets. Guys, thank you so much for listening to the toast and money morning show where we deliver the fast I stories you need to do every Monday through Friday and YouTube. So if you're watching this on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video thumbs up. We're also available as podcast and where podcast can be found. So it's about a piece your public video. I already cast talks all the places that you listen to podcast by not Satoshi Five Star View, about how beautiful, about how stunning, and about how weekly talented we are. Have an amazing day and we'll see.

You on Tuesday where we'll choose you. Love ya. Bye.