Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to The Toast, and happy Monday that feels like a real Monday. Hey, Jacks. How you durn?

Durn, well, turd. Thank you for asking. Yes, indeed. It does feel like a real Monday for me, especially. I'm sure for you as well, but for me, especially.

It's not a competition, but it's fine.

Because I've been off. Hey, guys, how you doing? How was everyone's week? My week was fantabulous. My week of leisure not as leisurely as I was hoping for, but I got so much out of it. I got to be a toaster for the week, which was really such a joy. And I'm so glad I had that experience to say to you all, you're welcome, how being a toaster and the toast is such a gift to your every day in all mundane daily activities, driving, cleaning, cooking. Mothering. Working out. No, not while I'm mothering, because you just never know when a curse word is going to slip.

So let's We'll start from the very beginning. The last time we saw you all was a Friday. Jack and I headed to Austin. We had a fabulous time in Austin. We had this renaissance with the city. I would say, is it crazy to say we fell in love with the city?

We did. I feel like more often than not these days, you go to a city and you're like, Yikes, spikes. What's happening here?

Austin was so fabulous. Mostly the people there were so amazing. It's such a toasty town. We had one of our biggest events ever. We did an amazing meet and greet at Spritz. The girlies showed up and showed out. Then we spoke at a and the girlies were there as well. Then we went to a concert. We had back to back to back. We were giving meetings, meetings, meetings energy.

But to complete my thought, we had such an amazing experience in Austin, the town. What a gorgeous city. Pretty well taken care of as far as cities go. I had been there a few years ago, and I always thought it was such a cool place. Keep Austin weird, the main drag, South Congress. You guys have a lot going on, shops, restaurants, the like. Everything has just built up since then. There's so much new construction. It's really a blossoming city. If you're But if you're a young person thinking about where to live after you graduate, might I suggest Austin?

I don't think you need to suggest it. It's one of the most popular places for young people to move.

No, but might I... If you're looking for a sign, should I move to Austin or Chicago or...

Minneapolis.

I'm going to vote Austin.

Yeah, no, the weather was great. They've got lakes, breaks, trakes. They've got it all. Really, it was so fabulous.

I agree with you that the crop of people were of a special elk.

Well, it's a really interesting city in the sense that most people who live there aren't from there, and it's people from other big urban cities and other places in Texas. It was a real melting pot. Everyone was giving normal energy, which you absolutely love to see. I just felt like the normal sea radiating from the people there. That's why I liked it.

Yeah. Normalcy, toastiness. Oh, yeah.

It was like, I want to say the toastiest city I've ever been.

We really had such a great time. We had a jam-packed 24 hours. We did our Spritz, meet and greet, which was So much fun. So many sweet toasters, sweet babies, sweet toasty mamas, and toosters mamas, grown. You know what I mean? Books to sign, cambern counselor, Girl with No Job. We just had a really great fun swirly time. Then we did Dear Media IRL, Another Fun Great Swirly Time.

Then just almost like the stars were aligned for us. It happened to be a country music festival in Austin that night, so obviously, we went in the best time. What a lineup. I mean, Lady A.

Lady Lady A all day. Thank you to iHeartcountry and whoever pulled strings to treat us like artists' cousins.

Keith Urban.

Keith Urban. Lady A. Lady A.

Reilly Green. Reilly Green. So much has happened to me since that. I can't even remember who else.

Well, Jason Aldeen also performed an Anjeli roll. Your Girls did split just because we had had a long day, as before mentioned. But we had had such a ball in Lady A. That was all I needed. I filled up my concert cup.

No, Lady A was... I haven't seen them perform in, seriously, 15 years. And I turned to Jackie as a joke when they were walking on stage. I'm like, You think they'll play American Honey? Which is seriously not even a song they ever released. It's so random. I don't even know if it's on iTunes. It's a deep cut on YouTube. And I swear to God, the third song they played, we were screaming, losing our minds.

Yeah. I think it was a single. We just associated with another song from Lady A that was a deep cut on iTunes that they don't claim or play or anything. But American Honey was a major song for them. Was it? Yeah.

It feels like nobody knew it around me except for us.

It feels like our It's a strong, though. It feels like ours. It is. It feels like, We grew up on the side of the road.

We literally did. Where the church bills ring and strong love grows. That's literally us. Literally. We grew up We grew up slow, like American Honey.

Like American Honey.

It was really amazing. It was like Jackie said, a jam pack, 24 hours. Then Jackie headed home, and I went to LA straight off the plane.

Hopped off the plane at LAX into Sebastian Manescalco's arms.

Lap, yeah. Obsessed. I will say I knew everyone that I was going to be interviewing, and I was not nervous for any of them except Sebastian Manescalco. He was the only one I didn't know, hadn't spoken to. It was very publicy. It wasn't DMing, Hey, you want to come on? Like, Bookskillfield I had never met, but she and I were texting.

Right. And he's the least swirly of the host. Everyone else was pretty swirly.

Yeah, everyone else was familiar with the swirly vibes. I just know someone on Sebastian's team was like, This will be good for you with the millennial girls. Just do it. And he was like, okay. And I could tell when he walked in, he's like, Okay, what is this? What's going on? Who's this little girl? Little girl. I was dead set on winning him over and showing him the swirly vibes and the swirly way of life.

The swirly way of life.

And I feel like mission accomplished. Seriously, I don't know if I've ever prepped so much. I watched Unfrosted on the plane, which he was in for all of 10 seconds, but still, I wanted to talk about it. I did so much research on him. I stalked him and his wife on Instagram to death, seriously. And I walked in feeling good, feeling prepared. And the second he sat down and he laughed at something I said, I just felt like, Oh, he's obsessed.

Obsessed with last swirl, how could he not be?

I feel like he saw the swirly vibes, liked what he saw, and perhaps is thinking about adapting the swirly lifestyle into his every day.

I think for about an hour there, he was a swirly.

1,000 %. And I'm just telling you, the vibes, we need to get him back on. And I think, seriously, I think he had a great time.

Yeah. And we had a great time, us listeners.

By the way, I never watch our own episodes, whether it's a guest or just us, but I did watch it two times.

Also, what was crazy for me was this was the first time I exclusively listened to this podcast. Usually, I can't listen to a podcast unless it has a video component and I watch the video. But I guess because I just had... I wasn't going to sit down and watch video, so I was just going about my life listening to the podcast. Fabulous experience. I understand why people love it.

When you did guest co-host, I also just listened as a podcast because I was a gal on the go.

Because otherwise, I'm never going to listen because I'm not sitting down to this. To watch. I understand now why our podcast numbers are so much higher than our video numbers.

Then the next day, I podcasted with Justin Silvester, which was the perfect, perfect episode. There was a lot going on in the world. Met Gala, things of that nature. It had been a while because it was the weekend, and then Monday's episode was Sebastian. It had been a while since I had a proper pop culture sit down, and I feel like we needed that, a palate cleanser for everyone to just return to their truest selves.

Return to normalcy.

Justin Sylvester is seriously the king of my heart, body, and soul. Probably there are four people on this planet I actually couldn't muster up a bad thing to say about, even if I tried my absolute hardest. Justin Sylvester is one of those people.

No. If Justin Sylvester has no fans, I'm dead.

We've been killed.

No, but you're his friend. I'm his fan. I love everything that he does. If Daily Pop has no fans, I am dead. I was the last person watching Daily Pop. They had to claw it from my hands. So that was a real treat for me as just a fan.

And he's just such a professional and such a star and so funny. It's very rare that somebody can make it their job to talk about other people, but they themselves are of extreme interest still. It's not like, I I don't want to hear about you. I'm like, Tell me what's going on. Tell me everything.

They themselves.

They themselves. Then the next day was the day in which... The day in which, you know?

The day in which the TikTok came home to roost.

The TikTok? No, the 5K.

Oh, I thought you were talking... I thought we were going by a show. Sorry.

No, I'm going in order of what I actually did.

The day in which we wished.

Now, there's so much to talk about when it comes to the 5K, and you and I I actually haven't even really talked about it offline.

No, and you haven't talked about it on the podcast, have you? No.

I briefly talked about it with Tinks, but not on a real emotional level.

You haven't told us everything. I know some things, but like, how was the 5K?

I'm not going to lie to you. It was hard. It was at the Rose Bowl, which is just like six miles of concrete. There's not a tree in sight. A breeze? No. I don't It was at 11:00, which is pretty peak heat of the day. It's not 8:00 AM, it's not 9:00 AM, it's 11:00. Honestly, it felt like the first day I'd ever run. It felt like I had made no progress. I was dying. Seriously, dying, heaving, almost at one point, threw up.

Well, I just want to say, imagine how you would have been if you hadn't trained.

This is where things get interesting. I thought about maybe not even sharing this, but you're going to be brave and open. But I've been so transparent this whole... Sometimes I wish I wasn't this authentic.

Okay. What is she going to say?

I have to say, I did the 5K with Ben and Josh. Josh Peck is just... I don't think he trained, but he's a person who's in good shape. So he ran with me the whole time, and I actually felt bad. I felt like I was really slowing him down. I was like, Just please go. You're making me feel worse. He was like, No, I'm not leaving you. He was so loyal to the point where I actually wanted to slap him. Ben did the weirdest thing where the second we started, everyone's starting slow. He sprints, seriously, like an Olympic runner for 30 seconds just to get really ahead of us so that he could walk and we would catch up to him. Now, suffice to say, that did not work. He He obviously almost went into cardiac arrest after those 30 seconds, and he was behind us the entire time, so much so to the point where we lapped him because you basically go a mile and a half and then run back a mile and a half. We caught him on the way back, and he hopped over and cheated. He said that on his own story.

That's not me blowing up his spot.

Yeah.

So all that to say, I ran with my—like how I always run with my phone in the tracker. I'm going to pull up the screenshot because I'm dying. And at two and a half miles, I hadn't taken a break yet. I I seriously thought I was going to throw up. So I started walking, and I was like, I actually don't think I can finish it. And then after heavy breathing and just, I was able to finish it. And when I finished it, my phone was in my hand, and I screenshotted the time, and I was shocked. I was like, Okay, maybe this wasn't as hard as I thought because I did it in 35 minutes. And up until this point, my best time was 38. And that was when I was feeling really good and doing really good. I knew I was crushing it.

And that was in air conditioning or a breezy day.

Exactly. I'm like, Wow, it must have all been in my head. But then I also saw that my distance was 2.97. I was like, Trying not to blow up the two bear spot, being like, This wasn't It's an accurate 5K. It wasn't 3.1, it was 2.97..

Oh my God.

I'm like, Oh my God, this is a farce. No wonder why my time was so low. It's 2.97. That's why.

It's a scheme.

I just held this information to myself for the last few days.

Is this an expose? No, just wait. Okay, because I'm like, This is major stuff.

No. I'm like, Okay, the five bears are a fraud, and I'm skinny 35 minutes. I was just just living with that. And yes, I had this big secret about 2.97. I was probably the only person really tracking it. But I also had this other thing where I could tell people I did it in 35 minutes. So I was like, You know what? We're all winners here. I get home, and yesterday or Saturday, I go for a run, and I'm using my same app. I had such a good run. I did the three miles, and I did it in 36 minutes. I'm like, Oh, my God, I'm really getting good.

Yes. Your app is crap? No, Yeah.

Then I'm playing with the app. It stores all your runs. I'm like, Oh, let me just go look at my big fancy progress. I see. The 5K run. I'm looking at it right now. 39, 26.

That feels right.

I say, Excuse me? 39, 26? I had the screenshot, and I go look at the screenshot, but my phone was locked. My phone had an updated The phone hadn't woken up yet. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. So the distance and the time hadn't updated.

Okay, so it was a true 5K. This is not an expose.

It was a true 5K, and I did it in 3926. I can't believe I was telling everyone I did it in 35 minutes.

I just feel like you didn't have to correct yourself here today. I know. Because I was really impressed because I ran a 5K in solidarity with you on Tuesday or Wednesday, whenever it was, and I pushed I myself so hard to get the lowest possible time. I think I got 38 minutes. And that's in a gym on a treadmill, air conditioning. I think the treadmill even has a fan vent. It's fanning me. This is with all modern conveniences, 38 minutes. And then I saw you were 35 minutes. I said, Wow, damn turdy.

Yeah. So now I'm taking a look at my run. Mile one, crushed it, 11:24. Mile two, 12:17. Mile three, this is where I seriously thought I was going to throw up, 15:45.

That's really not bad.

No. And then two days later, I Come home. I go for a run on Saturday, and I did it in 36 minutes. Why couldn't I have brought that? It was just a gorgeous day, breezy and perfect.

Yeah, no breeze, concrete.

Everything was working against me, and I was very flustered because we almost missed the 5K.

Why? Because of Ben?

Because of Ben.

Shocker.

I apologize if you're hearing this story already because I made a TikTok about it that went so viral. We're going to bed the night before. I want to get good sleep. I'm drinking a lot of water. I'm prepping so hard. Electrolytes, bananas. Like, really? I'm literally asleep. My eyes are... I'm seriously about to drift, and Ben's like, Oh, my God. I'm like, What? He's like, I don't have my hokas.

Sneakers. He didn't bring sneakers.

Well, he had Air Force 1s, but you can't run on those. Those are girly sneakers.

Girly sneakers?

I seriously... Normally, I would hop into action. Let me fix this for you because that's what I do. At this point, I was like, Seriously, eat my fucking ass. Yeah. Grow the fuck up. No stores in LA opened before 10:00 AM, and we had to be there at 10:00 AM. It was an hour We were away.

If that's not emblematic of the situation.

We found a Dix Sporting Goods nearby that was open earlier. We went, but it was just like such... Then we had gotten off the highway to go to Dix, and then we're going to get back on the highway and we missed the exit for the actual 5K because we were just flustered. I was cursing his fucking name in the back of this car. I was like, not me? Literally preparing for something for six months. I decided in January I wanted to do something, and now I hear I am five months later doing it. I might miss it because of you.

I I was literally- You had one job.

I was including you on this?

Yeah.

Oh, my God. I was so fucking mad. Now, we ended up not having to get there. We didn't end up starting running till 10:45. But the email I got from the Choo Bear 5K team said, be there at I am. I follow the rules. I'm not a disgusting person.

I'm- I'm sure then Ben was like, Look, we didn't even have to be here. Just like when you get to the airport as the doors are closing, he's like, Look, we made it. I was right.

1,000%. I was so mad. And then he was just like... He was also goofing around on the five can. I was definitely taking it a little too seriously. But our energies were just off. Maybe that's why I did in 39 minutes, for real.

Oh, for sure. Because you had this weight holding you down, this anger. 1,000%.

Well, I just wasn't in the best possible headspace I could have possibly been in.

Yeah. Well, sometimes that's motivating when you have something you're running against.

No, I just wanted to run away and get further. But the thing is, Josh was being such a good friend. Josh would not leave my side. The entire time, he He was right behind me. Ben was with Josh. I couldn't shake Ben.

Did you meet anyone else? Any networking?

It was a little networking, but seriously, I was taking it so seriously to the point that it was actually embarrassing. But I didn't meet anyone new, per se, no. But I rubbed elbows with old friends. Probably the most famous person there was Travis Barker. I was shocked when I saw him. First of all, it was 10,000 degrees, and he always covers up his his arms, legs because of the burns from his plane crash. I'm like, How are you not going to faint? It's so hot. He must be a runner. When I tell you he was doing laps around everyone, he must have done the 5K, seriously, in 18 minutes. When I was a mile in, he had already lapped me and was headed back, so he had a mile left. I had two miles left. It was really crazy. I didn't even see him at the finish line. He must have been home by then. It was crazy.

Was there for second, third place?

Well, That's what's so funny is there was this whole party afterwards. I stayed for 15 minutes, but then I had to go record with Brooks, so I left. I think there was a medal. A medal ceremony. But I didn't win, so I wasn't interested. Seriously, the morning, I was feeling so confident. I was like, I feel like I have a chance of placing. For real, I was like, I could place. Then I got there and I realized, first of all, there were two heets, is what they call them. The 5K was open to the public for their listeners and stuff, and Bert and Tom ran with them at 9:00. Then there was a VIP heat at 10:45. It was just skinny, wealthy LA people. I seriously, I had a shot in hell. The fact that it didn't come in last is a miracle, for real.

Did they do it like top three men, top three women?

I didn't stay for the medal ceremony, so honestly, I don't know.

But you're wearing a medal on the show today in case you're listening as a podcast, which people do.

Well, you probably wouldn't know this because you can never run a 5K, but they basically have people waiting for you at the end to give everyone a medal. It's giving like, We're all winners here energy.

Yeah. Hold on. That's like the marathon, too. That's the marathon, too, turdaloo.

Screenshot.

Yeah, we got it.

You got it? So, yeah, they had a million medals at the end, which honestly, that was the best part.

Yeah, you deserve a medal, and you got one.

No, I literally deserve a medal.

Yeah.

I want a bigger one.

I want a bigger one.

I know. I didn't see it posted anywhere. So it wasn't worth winning.

So it wasn't me. So if not, everyone's going to know. 1000 %.

I think the narrative was Jolly Roll did the 5K. And this has really, I think, sparked some health journey for him, which we love. I think that was the whole message. Obviously, I made the 5K about myself, and I didn't even listen to the episode where the bears themselves discussed why they wanted to run a 5K. I just centralized myself to the conversation. But apparently, it was a part of this greater movement to get people out, get them healthy, get them moving, which we love. I mean, it worked.

Yeah. I mean, literally, you did the 5K because of Jolly Roll. Because of that story from People magazine, Jolly Roll is running a 5K. Yeah. Ergo, turdy is running a 5K.

A lot of people are wondering, turdy, do you have the bug, or you're going to keep running. I've ran twice in my personal life since the 5K. I happen to really enjoy it as a means of exercise. I don't know if I'm going to continue racing, but I definitely like to run. I've said it, okay? Yeah, I like to run.

That's good. I don't know if you went on my Instagram or something, but something happened where my Instagram algorithm now thinks I'm a runner. I want to put my phone away before I say this because I don't want more of this content. It's all memes and funny videos about people spending all their money, registering for marathons and how people- Wait, you have to pay? Do you register for a marathon? I think so. Yeah, how they think, Oh, my husband thinks running, it's a free hobby. Ha ha. Shoes, tickets, flights. Oh my God. I literally need to get off of this. I just want my sourdough and my chicken's back. Oh my gosh, maybe because I finally did my sourdough, I've leveled up on Instagram and now it's running. I'm telling I don't relate to this content. I run in my personal life. I'm never going to do a marathon. It's all marathon content. I don't know what happened. Maybe because we've been talking about the 5K on FaceTime, I don't like running. I don't want to run a marathon. Oh, my God. It's so annoying.

Then after the 5K, that's when I had to run home and get my hair blown out to record with Brooks Scofield, which was just like, for the youth, you love to see two young women out here being young. You love to see that? I do. She was amazing. She really was very open and honest, which we'd love to see. Then the next day, as a rebuttal, you thought you were playing chess. You were playing checkers with Mary Orton, and I was playing chess with Tinks. You thought you had a friend? Oh, I'll level up. I have a sister.

Well, I listened to Tinks' episode, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Me too. There was much enjoyment. Oh, my God. But it was just like, and this is what I'm sure it's like to be a toaster, the great plight of toastiness. It's I just wanted to jump in. Screaming. I had so much to say.

Screaming.

So much to say, but I had to just listen and learn.

Episode is probably the episode I recorded that week where I enjoyed myself most. I was enjoying the conversation. I think with Sebastian, I was very nervous, and I had a great time, but I felt like I had something to prove. So I was a little on the edge, if you will. Justin, that was the most comfortable I'd been. Brooklyn, I was intimidated. She's so young, hot thing, and I'm just like, big slob of Rob, old lady. Tinks, I felt like I was enjoying myself so much. Then Nikki Glazer, which was the final episode, was the most anticipation because I had booked her. I love her, and I know her, and I would have had her on regardless. I thought she would be a great podcast host. But then time in it is everything. How great her coming off the heels of this major successful moment. I was like, Oh, she's obviously going to cancel, which I would understand. She was on Howard Stern. She was on Jimmy Kimmel, she was everywhere. But she came, and literally, up until I saw her in the studio, did I think she was going to cancel? I was like, Honestly, I wouldn't have been mad if you canceled.

I totally get it. She totally respects the toast. She was like, Hell, no. This is huge. I wanted to cancel other things, not this. I was like, Okay, queen.

Howard Stern, Jimmy Kimmel Toast, spot the difference. I can't.

Well, I can. It's called talent.

Talent, comedy, verve. Enjoyment.

Energy.

Joy.

Joy. Yeah, I could, but I won't. Then right off after that, I headed to the plane and came home. Seriously, never have I missed my bed so much. La, it's so far away.

It's a tough town, man. It's a different universe. It'll chew you up and spit you out. Do you feel like it spat you out?

No. Since I run a 5K, you actually can't tell me fucking shit. For real. Try. Tell me shit.

I never would.

You never would.

Nor could I.

If you wanted to, you couldn't.

That's the difference. That is the difference. I agree.

And so, yeah, I'm I'm a runner, I'm a track star.

Well, congratulations to Herdi. Bon voyage on We Hope, and we're glad that you had a Bon voyage.

I just can't believe I said I was going to do something. I went on Tinks' podcast after the 5K, and we were talking about this. I've never been a person who says she's going to do something and does it. I always flake. That's definitely something I've been working on. I feel like the 5K is emblematic, if you will, of me, this new me. I said I was going to do something, something challenging, something out of my comfort zone, and I did it. That's what I'm most proud of, whatever. My time wasn't great, whatever. Seriously, I felt like the elements were working against me. I could do it right now. I could do it right now in 35. However, regardless, I'm most proud of the fact that I said I was going to do something, and I did it. There were many times I didn't want to, especially when I found out it was in LA.

Things she did that, those things.

There's actually nothing I can't do now. It's the way the 5K has given me this insane sense of self, and a little bit of In a delusional way, but I think that's good.

No, that's the best feeling when you learn a new skill or do something new. That's how I felt learning how to drive. I know that's so dumb for most people, but when you take on something new that's always evaded you and you conquer it, you're like, Oh, well, I could do this with anything that's always evaded me. I could conquer it. Cook.

That's how I felt initially about reading.

Right. That's how I will soon feel about gardening one day.

I finished Steem and Copperhead yesterday.

I saw, finally.

I felt like it was 50 pages too long.

Okay, but after having read 700, what's another 50?

Well, so I felt like the book gets to a real lull, and I get it. He has to hit rock bottom before, whatever. But the rock bottom was a little too long. When he was seriously going on that hike- Imagine how he felt.

Imagine how demon felt.

When he's going on that hike, talking to the bugs, thinking, Should I go to Knoxville for treatment? I was seriously like, I need this book to end. I say seriously 4.75, because that one part of the book, I was seriously like, This is dreadful. Okay, fair. Now I'm reading a moronic romance.

You need a mooseboosh, a palate cleanser.

Then I'm going to do Tatoos of Auschwitz, but I couldn't go demon Copperhead Tatoos of Auschwitz. I seriously needed a break.

Oh, for sure. Speaking of Holocaust books, I'm reading The Garden of the Finsey Continies.

Does that supposed to mean something? I don't know what that is.

Oh, yeah. It's a book about Italy, World War II, a Jewish family. It's from the '50s, and it's not even available on Kindle. I had to buy it because I wanted to read it.

The book was written in the '50s?

In the '50s, yeah. Because it's a true story, and this is the man's story. I believe the Finsecontini were a Jewish family in Italy during World War II. The Finsecontini. It's very Tennessee. It's giving Cary Soto. Not at all.

I thought you said it was very Tennessee.

No, Tennessee.

Yeah, no, because you're the only 10 I see.

Oh, thank you, Lost World. I'm having a really hard time getting through it, but it's a really short book, so I have no No excuse.

No, you have no excuse.

And beyond that, my sourdough starter is ready for bacon today. You guys, I've been patroning the whole thing. Let me just tell you, I'm a chemist. It is so crazy. This sourdough life. Are you obsessed? No, because I haven't had my bread yet. But every day I get a little more excited because it looks a little more real and it looks like something that I've seen on reels. But the beginning, honestly, it's a dark journey. You'll see in the Patreon, it's very much an emotional a roller coaster.

Can't you buy pre-made starter, or is that fraudulent?

The starter that I got was from Ballerina Farm, but it's dehydrated. It's just powder. It takes four days to rehydrate it and grow it. Right now, I have active starter, but I only have enough for one loaf of bread, and I want to make more loaves of bread down the line. I've split my starter, and I'm going to keep building and feeding my other starter while I-Oh, you guys, it's over.

She's gone.

No, you guys, it's the craziest thing. She's gone.

She is gone. Goodbye.

Right. That's why they're like, Okay, maybe you should try running a marathon now. But I'm telling you, Mark, Juckerberg, I don't want to.

No, honestly, I think running a marathon would be easier than making sourdough. The fact that you've been talking about this for a week- I was feeding my starter this morning.

I'm shocked them on time. And you haven't eaten any bread? I'm shocked them on time. I was feeding my starter this morning. Flour everywhere. Just my scale. It's just crazy.

It's like this living organism in your fridge.

It's not in my fridge. It's in my cupboard. Oh, and I think my cupboard's too cold Because it's not rising like it should.

You remember learning about the word organism in science class and everybody be like, Oh, you got some of it?

No, but I'm sure that's exactly what happened.

Oh, yeah.

I wasn't paying attention in science class.

What were you doing?

I don't know. How did you get through class? I don't even know how I got through class because I certainly wasn't learning shit. I wasn't paying attention. Even if I started in earnest trying to pay attention.

Yeah, people They lost me so fast.

I was just not for that world. I seriously don't know how... I don't know how I'm sitting here today and how I'm still not stuck in the classroom, how it ever ended.

No, by the way, this is a dream, and you're going to wake up in sixth grade history class. I completely agree with you. I also often reflect on the fact that we used to... Because we went to a dual curriculum school, our whole lives, Jewish and secular. We were in school from 8:00 to 4:45 most days. That's insane. Then it was homework Work, extracurriculars, sports, family. How did we get it all done?

No, it's seriously so crazy. When I was in middle school and I started getting seasonal allergies, I would have to take a Benadryl in the afternoon. Sometimes I would pass out in the middle of class because it makes you sleepy, and they wouldn't say anything. I just feel like one day I'm going to wake up and I'm coming out of that nap.

I'm back in middle school and my allergies, my eyes are red.

I'm like, Hey, we should start a podcast.

Jackie, I have never had allergies as a kid ever. I never took Benadryl. The sheer fact that I didn't fall asleep in every single class is amazing to me. I can actually count on one hand. I remember. I literally remember the few times I fell asleep in class being like, wow, I should do that more often. The class went by so quickly.

Also, as an adult now, I feel like when kids sleep, they really need it. Of course. Obviously, babies and toddlers, but even kids, it's a long day. Other countries, they take a siesta in the afternoon. We're just working these kids to the bone. If I was a teacher and I saw a child sleeping, I'd be like, good, I'm happy for them. That's what's best for them. Their brain is resting. So many good things happen for you while you sleep. I feel like there should be organized nap time throughout every day.

No. When I reflect on the few times where I did fall asleep in class and a teacher didn't wake me up, and I didn't go to a big school. There's 30 kids max in every class. She saw me sleeping. The fact that she didn't wake me up, if she didn't, is so kind. Anybody who did wake me up is seriously a dick.

You know what? A dick. No, a monster. This extends all the way. Any human being, adults, whatever, I will never wake a sleeping person. Even yesterday, I was looking for Zack, screaming his name out. Zack, Zack, Zack. Seriously ready to kill him. And then I saw he had fallen asleep. He needed it. Precious gift. He needed it. I shall back away. He needed it. No one has ever sleep. If you need sleep, take sleep. If I were a teacher, I would never wake up a sleeping student. You don't know what's going on at home. Maybe they didn't get a good night's sleep for a reason. Let the children sleep.

I completely agree.

So my thoughts for the day are that.

No, I love that we just ended up there because I agree. I'm thinking of one moment in particular where I fell asleep in Dr. Honex class, and she didn't wake me up. I remember she was like a stickler. I remember waking up and being like, Oh, my God, she didn't wake me up. Like, Queen. I never saw her the same ever again.

You know what's also the best? A rare security if you can sleep through all this. But when the class ends and you're still sleeping and they let you stay there, and then you wake up and class is over. That's nutty. Well, you never took a Benadryl in the middle of the day as a 12-year-old. Is the room empty? The room's empty, yeah. Class is over.

But what if there was a class coming in and there's this sleeping?

Then I think they would wake you up. But if the class were to be empty, it's just like, let the child sleep.

That's whack.

That's on taking Benadryl in the middle of the day as a 12-year-old.

That's so fucking funny. Oh, God. 34 minutes.

I know. And I actually haven't even gotten to the crux of what I want to talk about today that's not in the Fast Side Stories. What? That encapsulated my weekend. That isn't my sinus infection and isn't the fact that I threw my back out. That's what I'm dealing with today.

It's not Sourdough?

And it's not Sourdough.

What is it?

It's Eurovision.

It's Eurovision.

It's Euro fucking vision. Honestly, maybe I should rejigger the stories for story one to be Eurovision recap and something else we can talk about tomorrow. Because I have so much to say, and it's already 30 minutes.

Let's do that. But I actually wanted to give one major life update. Something happened to me on Saturday that I actually forgot to tell you about.

Okay. I just want to restate, I have a sinus infection and my back is out. If you have anything mean to say about me today, today's not the day. Tomorrow. Hold your thoughts. Except the back thing is going on a while. Plus, I'm on a moxacillium, so I'm just a little crazed.

She's nuts.

She's nuts. Okay, go.

Let me tell you, I As of Saturday, May 11th, 2024. I, personally, I have officially given up 40 carats.

Quality control?

I gave them so many passes. For literally being- You gave them your best years. My best years. And literally, I would sit there and act like I wasn't eating at the worst restaurant in the world. Ben was always trying to get me to see the light. I was like, Seriously, you couldn't take off my rose-colored glasses. Everything in the restaurant was bad. The service The food was bad. The only good thing was really the yogurt, which you don't even need to sit in the restaurant for. No.

Let's get real. Everywhere has good for-yo.

I hit a wall on Saturday where I seriously... It took forever. My meal came out completely wrong. Usually, if something's wrong, I usually don't like croûtons in my salad. If they come, sure, I'll pick it out. It was fully dressed. You guys know how I feel about dressing, and I always say no dressing. Then it came, and it had been thrown together because they wanted to get it out to me. But it was just I didn't eat it. I said, Ben, it pains me to say this. You're right, and I will not eat here again. I hate to use my platform to disparage a local business.

Yes, but I think we've used the platform so much, send so many people there. Now it's just sending them with some caution tape. But I just want to say in defense of 40 carats, just to say, one, yes, they have a quality control issue, and sometimes it's seriously a worst meal. I once ordered a veggies burger was still frozen. It's literally Dr. Prager. Why are we eating here?

If it was anywhere else and that happened to you.

Because every once in a while, it's the perfect healthy lunch. That's why. I know. Two, the reason why we eat there, and it's not only because of the food, but the vibes, because it's the perfect swirly day. Yeah, it's the perfect swirly day. You go shopping at Bloomydale's, you can literally get anything that you need. You can get a new pair of shorts. You could probably get a refrigerator. You could get a new mattress if you needed. You could get a tea cup.

Seriously, I feel like I've come on this podcast so many times, and of course, lifted them I'm up. If you're looking for me and you're coming to Newark, go to 40 Car, you'll find me there. People know that's where I am. And seriously, I have offered my help so many times. I would work for free as creative director. There's five things they need to do, seriously. They need to go under full restraining of everyone who works there because it's just the most poorly run restaurant. They need to get a fucking friar because they need to start serving French fries. Like, girl lunch, salads and fries, wraps and fries, tuna sandwich and fries. The fact that they don't serve French fries. And But they do serve that soggy carrot salad on everything. Do they even serve chips? No, they don't have sides. It's so stupid.

They have the pretzel stick that sometimes could clock you over the head and give you a concussion, and other times it's the tastiest thing around.

No, And so 10 years ago, when the restaurant was popular, they were known for their breadsticks. They have completely lost all energy when it comes to the breadsticks. I have told you a million times how to fix the restaurant. It's not even like this is a restaurant that has the same problems as other restaurants. This is owned by a billion-dollar company, Bloomingdale's.

Get it fucking together. This is your flagship- And this is your Nacy's on Bloomingdale's.

Fucking restaurant. Seriously, I've had enough. I will not go. I am on strike, seriously. I'm starting an encampment. I am starting, and here are my demands. Ready? Oh, and you know what you need to get? I bought one on Amazon. You can get it, too. A salad chopper. Everybody orders their salads. They're chopped, and they come huge. You need to specialize in big Salads that are really, really chopped with amazing breadsticks and French fries. I have solved your problem. You would be the best restaurant in the entire fucking city. I'm serious. I'm going on strike.

Okay. You heard her demands.

No, seriously, Coming to else, reach out. I'm serious. You have lost an extremely valuable customer. When I say no less than four times a week I eat there. I will not go back.

Yeah.

And nothing was even particularly crazy on this Saturday. I just broke. It was its usual bad crap.

Everyone has their breaking point.

Yeah.

Okay. Well, thank you for that PSA. Stay strong, turdy.

Thank you. I don't know where I'm going to eat now. Especially eat healthy. I guess I'll have to have McDonald's. Thanks, Bloomingdale's.

You need a shaker salad.

I do need a shaker salad.

So without further ado, it is time for the Fast Five stories that you need to know.

Sorry, I got all worked up there, but It needed to be said. The Fast Five stories that you need to know are brought to you by State Farm. When you get a new car or a new home, the first thing you might find yourself saying is, Literally what? Or, How is this real? Really, the words you want to be thinking or singing should be, Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. State Farm is there with the coverage you need for your car, your home, even boats, motorcycles, RVs, and other things that matter to you. With a State Farm agent, you know someone is there to help you choose the coverage that you need. With so many coverage options, if It feels good to know that you can find what fits for you. When you need ways to get help, State Farm gives you options there, too. Maybe you're like me, a real IT technology girly who loves to do everything on their phone. With State Farm, you can get help on statefarm. Com or on their award-winning app. Or maybe you're like Jacks, you like to handle things in person or on the phone with a local agent.

You are so phone with local agent energy.

No, Claudia. Today, when I was doing my sourdough, I was filming myself, so I couldn't use the calculator on my phone, and I had to do subtraction using pen and paper. So yeah, I'm calling my State Farm agent.

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I feel like you could have done better, but I'll do. I know. I'll put my whole State Farm-ussy into this one. Ready? Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

I just didn't want to take away from your shine.

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Yeah, no, it's becoming offensive. Like that you have been listened after all these years and all the amazing successes and recipes that we've made using our Caraway. It's true. Our first story, Eurovision 2024, had me in a chokehold this year. So as Americans, Eurovision is not really something that we participate in, but recently it's been streaming on Peacock. I remember a few years ago, we watched for the first time on Peacock, and it's very exciting. It's pretty much like American idol for all of Europe.

It's like a global talent show.

It's a global talent show. Each country has one entrant. They have one song that they perform over and over again, and then they whittle down to the finals. How many countries were in the finals this year? Twenty-five. Twenty-five, and they all performed their song, and then the whole world votes, and you can vote even if you're not a participating country. It's very exciting.

First of all, I feel like a lot of people know and follow Eurovision now because of that Will Farrell movie on Netflix, which I thought was incredibly stupid, but the original song from that movie was so fucking good.

Yeah.

And that's how to make everything about me, but I really started following Eurovision in 2019 because I went to Eurovision. Do you know this? Yes. In 2018, and the way that it works is whatever country wins, the next year is the hosting country. So it happens at their big arena. So in 2018, Israel won, and then in 2019, it took place in Tel Aviv. So I went with Brian, and we didn't know what it was, but of course, Brian got the best tickets, and it was actually really sick. And ever since then, I've just slowly followed it. And first of all, I think a lot of people don't realize how many famous people come out of Eurovision. Céline Dion won Eurovision. I think probably the biggest deal this year because they were representing Sweden was Abba.

Yeah, I think Abba is the most successful Eurovision winner because I think Céline Dion would have been successful with her without Eurovision. It's actually shocking. I just found out she won Eurovision. That seems irrelevant to her story. It's probably not. But Abba is literally so Eurovision.

What's so crazy is the song that they chose to sing.

Waterloo?

Yeah. You would think their Eurovision song would be their biggest song, like dancing queen or some shit.

Well, I I feel like they had success at Eurovision, and then they went on to write those other songs.

Yeah, but I just would have thought their biggest song would have been on the big global stage that launched them.

Yeah. I'm shocked that Waterloo did it for everyone, but I'm glad that it did because it brought us Abba. Waterloo.

And they sang it at Eurovision.

And then there's also, not even artists, but I think a lot of songs that we all know came from Eurovision.

And most recently, that song Arcade. Loving you is a losing game That was the one I was at. He won, and it was so obvious the whole time. Everybody knew he was going to win.

Well, there are a couple big names who've won Eurovision. I was just looking. There's not as many as you would think, at least of people that we know, but Sam Ryder, who's a UK artist, won Eurovision. He performed at the Queens Platinum Jubilee Soleil.

Some of us have been following him on TikTok for years with the long blonde hair, right?

Yeah, because he won Eurovision years ago, and now he's just like...

When did he win?

A couple of years ago.

Oh, I feel like he was just... Because I followed him on TikTok before. I feel like he won last year, no?

Well, no. When did the UK host it? Sam Ryder, Eurovision.

But it gets political. That's what happened this year because it's global affairs.

They try so hard for it to not be political. I think they do a pretty decent job. Eurovision org does a pretty decent job of keeping it apolitical because there's always geopolitical conflicts, territorial disputes and such. But this year was on another level, which was why this year I was very interested in what was going on. The Israeli entrant, Eden Golan, her song was called Hurricane. I had seen it coming up here and there, and I hadn't really paid attention. Then I saw a clip, and I watched the whole thing listening to the song, and the song is unbelievable. Then I realized that this weekend was the final since she was in Malmo, Sweden, which is where the contest was taking place. What was happening around Eurovision this year was not to be believed. It was so insane. I wasn't seeing much of it elsewhere, and I could not take my eyes off it.

The song, I had seen a lot on TikTok. It became this anthem of bring the hostages home. A lot of people have been using it to amplify that message. I had seen it, but I hadn't seen her perform it.

When she first wrote the song, it was called October Rain, and it was about October seventh in Israel. Eurovision said it was too political, and they wouldn't let her enter with it. And so she changed it to Hurricane. And then it just became, you can interpret it a bunch of different ways. It could be about a relationship. It feels to me, emblematic of what's going on with Jews in the world right now.

She's 20 years old. She's so gorgeous. She's so young. What she experienced in Sweden is so much for anyone to handle, let alone such a young woman. She handled it with such grace. So many of the participants who are mentally ill were like, I'm boycottin. They were bullying There was thousands of people standing outside her hotel room just protesting her being there. She went to a press conference, and a Polish dick reporter was like, Do you feel like you're putting other people at risk by being here? She's like, It's literally not my problem. Other people are anti-somatic. She actually didn't even say that. She didn't say that. She handled every question with such grace. She was a graceful queen. Oh, my God. I can't imagine experiencing that at 20.

No, at 20, there were thousands of people protesting. Just her being in a contest singing a song. So crazy. Greta Thunberg, major moron, was there protesting. The morons were out and about. Seven people were arrested at the protest. One of them had a knife. What's your plan?

No, no. Insane. And I will say- She needed 100.

She needed an escort of 100 vehicles to go from her hotel to the competition. She couldn't participate in any other of the things that were going on for participants because everything was so unsafe for her. It was absolutely insane. While she would be singing her song, the entire arena would be bullying her, booing her, chanting free Palestine. I saw a video. I was following on X, what was going on. I saw a video where the people who were booing were then complaining of being censored because Eurovision has anti-booing technology. You don't hear the booing so much when you're watching at home. You hear more cheers, and they try and cover it up. They are pretending to be victims that their bullying didn't get through to a wider stage, that their bullying was censored. It was the craziest thing.

In the end, I've actually, net, net, I found the whole I thought it was really interesting. I felt to be some state of the Union. I thought it was really interesting to take the world's temperature. The way that scoring works, she made it to the top 25, and that's what this weekend was, the top 25. She ended up coming in fifth place, which for such a small country is insane. Because the way that scoring works is 50% of the points are voted on by the public. Everybody, you can call, text, whatever, like American idol energy. And 50% of the votes come from the countries themselves. Every country's delegation gives their points to another country. You can't give it to yourself, obviously. They go through all 37 participating countries, and every single one of them says, We give our 12 points to Switzerland. Nobody gave their points to Israel. By the time the Delegation, the Jury is what it's called, all those points were given out, the number one spot, she was in second to last, the number one spot had over 200 points, and she had 30. Then they give you points based on how many votes you got worldwide from different countries on the app, on the website, calling in, et cetera.

They were going through 30 points here, 40 points here, 50 points here, 80 points here. They go to Eden, and she got over 300 points, which is like... People were screaming. It was seriously like a mic drop energy. She went to first place, and then she ended up not winning because she started with 30 points before the popular vote. The guy from Switzerland got 200, but he had had more to start with because of the delegation. I just thought it was really interesting. These elite morons and their delegations. They didn't give Israel any points, but people around the world watched what was going on and wanted to support this beautiful young girl who was singing about her fellow Israeli being held hostage. It was so moronic. I think that sometimes when you just watch the media and watch things going on, it's hard to feel supported, and it feels so overwhelming. All we do is talk about the encampment and all these different things.

They are a small, vocal, radical minority, and the silent majority, which you always hear about. But most normal people are going about their normal lives. They're not sitting and shitting in the streets and peeing and throwing bricks at people. They're just enjoying their lives. So you hear about those crazies more often. But this whole Eurovision this year was a exact microcosm of what is going on in the world. This one Jewish girl bearing the brunt of the world's anti-Semitism. I saw a tweet, even pro- wrestling couldn't write a better story than this, where this The girl looks and sounds and sings like an angel. Angelic. An angel. And the grace and poise that she had and the pride that she had, because any Israeli contest who got up there was going to be booed. And a lot of people would be scared, and you would sense that, and they would be apologetic and sorry. And this girl was unapologetic.

They would make themselves small.

She was so proud to be there doing... And knew that what she was doing was big tings. And for the discussing evil masses to just be booing her, and she just stood there. It was literally like a diorama of world affairs right now. And then again, to see how the public mostly- Voted for her. Supports her, even though it feels like it's the opposite, they're just louder.

Yeah, the contestant from Ireland, which... Just Google a photo.

No, it's germane to the story. We couldn't describe her if we wanted to, but she literally looked like a demonic troll.

She identifies as a A witch.

That actually wouldn't even be insulting to her. What I'm saying is not... She would be like, Yeah, I'm a demon troll. That's what I am.

She identifies as a witch, and her whole performance was like, Crown, like energy.

Yeah. You have like, Eden versus her.

She said, I started crying when I saw Eden. I started crying when I saw you. You're the scariest-looking motherfucker I've ever seen in my fucking life.

Yeah. The fact that this one girl, she's just singing a song.

Look at you. You're having a breakdown over a 20-year-old girl.

She's just a girl singing a song. This whole competition is not political. That's the point. They even made her change the lyrics to her song. She's just singing a song, and you can't handle it.

But you're mentally ill, and you should look inward.

Mentally ill, cry babies, misinformed morons. And that's putting it nicely. That's just assuming that you're dumb as fuck, not that you're evil. Anyways, captivated my weekend.

I loved it. And I loved... Thank you, Peacock. How do we get America... I know it's Europe, whatever. But Australia is there. Australia is in it. I want in. And I want to... And I was thinking, who in the current pop music scene, who would we send as our Eurovision rep? I feel like it would seriously be Tate McCray. Oh, cute.

I support that. I feel like we should have... I don't think we can join Eurovision because also then we would just make it- About us. Yeah. I feel like it's nice that they have it for them and we're out of It's fine. We need like, Americavision. Every 50 states sends a representative. Okay.

I actually am having deja vu. I feel like you've said that idea before on the show, and I thought it was amazing, and I think it's amazing now.

It's like a convergence of American Idol and Catching Kelsey.

Wait, I I love. Should we do it?

Yeah.

And then the state wins and they host it. Yes. So cute. Wait, why don't they do that?

I don't see the downside.

Amerivision?

Yeah.

I love it.

It's so cute.

Can somebody... Ryan Seacrest gets to work? Yeah. Tanya red, listen to the show. Tanya, please pitch it to Ryan. Seriously, we can't do it.

It just seems like a no-brainer.

Yeah, it does.

That was Eurovision this year. I think you could still watch it on Peacock. It was really fascinating. Also fascinating to see what the countries are singing and doing, what they're about.

Yeah. It reminded me a lot of that Will movie because I will say they really did nail the type of music. It's very Euro. I can't describe it. It's like beats.

No, it's very Euro. The whole thing- It's Euro. Yeah. There was some seriously crazy performances.

No, seriously. They did come in second to last, and they absolutely deserved it. Finland, that was dead-ass, just crazy. What the hell was that? With these sparklers. Seriously, it looked like a Chuckie Cheese's birthday party. It was really crazy.

No, the whole thing is crazy.

But then I think some countries really use it as an opportunity to show their- Their culture. I feel like it was maybe Armenia.

Yeah, I thought the same. Oh, my God.

She was so fucking cute. It was this current contemporary song, but clearly had some Romanian instruments or something. It was so sweet. Seriously, I liked that. I think that she should win something for that because everybody else was just doing pop music, and she was really trying to embrace her heritage, and I love that.

Yeah, there's a lot to see at Eurovision. Yeah, I would like to get involved in some small capacity. I just want to say, there There were a lot of really frightful performances. They were seriously frightening. What the fuck is that? What's that about?

No, I can't believe seriously. I don't think that it represents the entirety of Ireland, but that girl was seriously- That was peak frightful.

It was so crazy.

She stood on this pentagon. What's it called?

The- Pentagram.

Pentagram, and lit herself on fire and was screaming demonically. I don't feel like that really captivates the Irish music scene. I don't know. Maybe it does. I don't know.

I think the way that it works, and I imagine, I think this is how it is in Israel, is like there's a smaller competition within the country to pick Miss USA.

It's like Miss USA. Are you following?

I've seen it, and I didn't think we would have the bandwidth for it today. So tomorrow, I was going to talk about the Miss USA.

Okay, we need to talk about it tomorrow.

Okay, we'll talk about it tomorrow. But just what I was going to say is every country probably has their own talent competition to pick the number one. How fun is that? And then that's just more content, more shows for the country. So I'm shocked that some of these acts were what one in their country.

Yeah. It's emblematic.

If you're from one of these countries, maybe you know more, or maybe just like, Metallica, Frightfulness is really big in some countries.

No, but Were the people of Ireland proud of their delegate? Seriously.

It's a really good question.

She was so crazy.

Yeah, inside and out.

Were they rooting for her?

Inside and out.

Yeah. I love Eurovision. Can't wait for next Seriously, I'm going to move to Europe just so I can become some country's delegate.

Well, it was fun voting from here. We got to participate. We were certainly a part of something.

We were a part of something, which we love.

Yeah, I just could not believe the treatment of this girl.

I know. That ugly bitch from Greece being so mean, falling asleep while Adam was talking in the press conference. Seriously, you're 40.

The guy from the Netherlands who had to cover his face with a flag because he couldn't even look at her. Meanwhile, he got kicked out of the competition because he punched a photographer. Again, It's just like, which side do you want to be on?

I just want to say, and I don't like to paint with broad strokes, but when I went to Eurovision in Israel, probably the most anti-Semitic thing that's ever happened to me happened in Israel at Eurovision by this guy from the Netherlands. I googled him after because someone there told me he's a big radio host. He was, I forget his name, but I could google it. He said something about my nose and then threw a penny on the floor. It was really crazy. I just feel like the Netherlands might have a problem, for real.

I think Europe might have a problem.

Yeah, it was emblematic.

The understatement of the year.

Yeah.

I think Europe might have a problem with anti-Semitism. I don't know. Just a vibe I'm getting.

Just, yeah. Just a vibe.

Just vibes. Are you ready for our next story, which is a major news, and on any other day would have been the number one story. But Eda is number one in my heart. What'd you say? No. But competing for what could have been the number one story.

What?

Dreet and PK.

Okay, you need to calm down. That's so not even the same level as Haley and Justin. Really?

Yeah. At this show, it's equal.

It's not. It's really not. We die for Haley. You die for when people get pregnant.

It's true. It's huge. It's huge. Okay, so you wanted to start with that?

Yeah, I feel like it's disrespectful to their onboard child, seriously, to put Dorit and PK before them.

Fine. Also, good news before bad.

Yes, true.

Always. Hailey Bieber is pregnant. Hailey Bieber is pregnant. They announced her pregnancy with some gorgeous artistry, photos and videos.

I loved it. People had been whispering about this for a while, and Book Scofield on her podcast had been hinting that she knew this big secret about a pregnant young Charlotte, and everybody pretty much guessed that it was Hailey Bieber. It turns out she was right. I don't get moved by people's pregnancy announcements. It's like, Oh, nice. I love that. You always, when you find out someone's pregnant, it means so much to you. I always say, Sometimes I'll hear someone's pregnant, and it'll definitely move the needle for me on my own journey. Consider the needle moved. She's so influential. She's so trendy. And honestly, I'm obsessed.

I'm obsessed. I'm so happy for them. I'm excited for her. I've been using road skin so much. She's unrelated. So she's just been omnipresent for me. Yeah, of course. I use the three-step barrier, glaze and milk in my routine every day. And I'm really like, nothing but good things. To say. I'm so excited to see pregnancy and mama content from her on a selfish level. But I'm just really happy for her as a woman, woman to woman.

Literally same. I thought the creative direction was... I'm just so looking forward to everything that's to come content-wise. Then, of course, what do you name a child like that?

I think it's not going to be so out of the box.

That A girl on TikTok that I love who does baby names.

Did she give them some suggestions?

She did. Not suggestions, but predictions.

I feel like if she hadn't named her company this and she had a boy, she could have named him Road. Like that, Roads.

Oh, by the way, for sure. I love that.

It'll be something like that, meaningful, not the most common, but not so wacky.

Okay. I can never remember this girl's name who does the names. Coleen, I think her name is. She thought that they might go biblical because they're very religious, which is nice. But she did have a list that I will read to you right now. Ready? They were nutty. Peace. Oasis, Cub, Zurich, Toronto, because he's from Canada, Sacks, Chapel.

How do you spell that?

S-a-x. Okay. Chapel, Revy, Cross, Darwin, Smoky.

I don't see it in there.

I don't see it in there either. I don't know. They give oddly traditional energy, getting married, young, things like that. Of course, being in the church. I don't know. I could see them naming their kid seriously, Joseph.

Yeah, I don't think it's going to be so LA.

Yeah, like Samson.

But it's not going to be Sarah.

By the way, do we know if it's a boy or a girl?

We don't.

Oh, okay.

Yeah. What do you think?

Boy.

I think so, too.

They sound nothing. I'm really happy for them. That's really nice.

Yeah, me too. Really happy for them.

I don't want to say it. I don't want to bring it up, so I won't.

Yeah, but I think everyone's thinking it.

I'm seriously, I'm just wishing her well. For real. I'm wishing her well. That's all I'll say. It's got to be tough, for real. I mean, in an honest way.

I'm sending her a lot of love at this time. What about the Jelena stands? What has their stance been on this?

I actually think they have... They've been silenced? I saw a thread about this on Twitter. I think it ends here. It's over for the Angelina Stance.

You would hope.

I think.

You would hope. Yeah. Now for our next story. What goes up must come down. Yes. Dreet and PK have separated after nine years of marriage. They posted a joint statement on Instagram saying, We as a couple have been subject to a lot of speculation about our marriage. We have had our struggles over the last few years and continue to work through them as two people who love each other and share two amazing children together. To safeguard our deep friendship and maintain a harmonious environment for our children, we have made the mutual and difficult decision to take some time apart and reevaluate our relationship while we prioritize our children.

Now, this was low-key shocking. I know people are going to be like, How is it shocking? It is.

It is because I feel like there were so many times where they could have split up and they didn't. Now things seem to be quiet, and it seems like they- Worked it out. The couple have been like, they're stallward and steady throughout all of the ups and downs. Pk travels a lot, and we see this play out on the show all the time, yet they always work through it. So either something happened where it's like, Okay, no longer trying to work on that anymore, or it's like, I'm tired of working at it.

I don't know. I feel like there are issues on the show. Felt so scripted and fake to me. It was just like, storyline energy. I felt like they actually had a really strong marriage.

I feel like they do have a strong marriage, but the issues on the show, it's like, nothing's going to change. Her issue really is that, PK is never home, therefore, he's not able to be there for her. So now he's just like, what, going to double down? Is he going to be in London all the time now? Is that why they can't make it work? I also feel like to announce a separation It's like it could go either way still.

Yeah. Announcing a separation is actually presumptuous.

Yeah. But I also think maybe it's a way to ease people into the idea because for me, this allows me to be like, Oh, well, maybe they'll work it out. But it also feels like such a major thing to do to let us into the problems in your relationship if you are going to work it out.

Right.

I don't know. I think it's just a gateway.

Mauricio and PK cruising around town yesterday on Instagram, taking pictures and stuff. Do you think Kyle at all was a factor in the sense that it gave Dorit the confidence?

No.

Okay. I mean, that's really a loser. Your friend's getting divorced, so you get divorced.

I don't think that Dorit has looked at Kyle's situation and been like, I want that.

Yeah, it's been hard.

I think it's been hard and it's been sad. I think it's just a coincidence that it's happening at the same time. But I think you sometimes you see a friend who's single and you're like, Girl Power, yeah, I want what she's having. I don't think that happened here.

Sad.

Yeah, sad. And as a Doreet and PK Stan, it's sad for me. But I don't put too much stock in other people's relationships. That's good. As a grown mature woman.

Right.

I have just my dreams crushed too many times. And now it's like there's really no couple that could break up that would actually make me feel some way in my actual life, not on this show. You know what I mean? I'm always going to have a reaction for the toes. But who's a couple that could break up that would actually shake me to my core?

Taylor and Travis. For real, that would actually really-For you? Yeah.

What would it make you feel?

Grief. Like a death. I would say Chiva, for real.

I feel like the worst Most couple breakups have already happened to me.

Yeah, well, at the time, you were really shaken up by Kim and Kanye.

Kim and Kanye, Lala and Randall.

Oh my God. Yeah.

Sasha Barron Cohen and Ila Fisher. I've been through the ringer. P. K. And Doreet's nothing to me. I'm used to this.

It's true. You're hardened.

You're jaded. I've been hardened. I feel like we have a list of celebrity couples that if they broke up, it would be destructive for the realm.

For a lot of people, they say Blake and Ryan.

Blake and Ryan, John, Emily, Leslie, and Judd, Dax, and Kristen. Not for me. I'd be fine.

None of those seriously would make me think twice. I would be fine.

Yeah. So I'm wishing the best for Dreet and PK and their young children.

Me as well at this time. And seriously, figure it out.

And get back together?

Yeah. Also, there is the possibility, and I'm not saying this, but people on social media are, that this is a very strategic move. Something like this definitely extends your life time. On the house vice? Yeah. Because there's been a lot of talk about her in the last couple of years. Every year, it's like, Is Doree coming back? It wouldn't be the biggest loss for the plot. She gives nothing, but every now and then, she'll do something. Because people said that her fucking robbery was strategic. That is a lie. But announcing a separation, but then getting back together, it's possible.

I support it. Do what you got to do to stay on the show. Speaking of, I did something crazy last night.

Meth?

Crazier.

Crack?

I watched the Real House Eyes of New Jersey. Wait, it was on? The first two episodes are out. It was on last night. Two? Yeah, there's two episodes out.

I feel like they didn't do a good job of marketing that towards me. How did you know that?

Because I was... Oh, just because it was in my Tevo and I was looking for something to watch with my back out, I had to be sedentary in a heating pad, and I caught up on Banner Pump Rules, so I was like, Rojohnge, here I come. Also, there are some shows, as much as I don't watch a lot of TV, there are some shows that I will always watch Southern Charm, Rojohnge.

New Jersey Housewives, for me, it's a can't miss show.

Even Beverly Hills, I've not missed an episode. It might take me six months, but I've watched everything now. And Banner Pump Rules.

Banner Pump Rules, yeah.

I watched it for... This season is going to be crazy.

Crazy?

Crazy, crazy season.

Before we continue on to the fourth and fifth stories, might I let you know that the rest of the episode is brought to you by Maybelline?

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Our next story, Ares Paris. Couple of things to note. Taylor Swift took her show to Paris this weekend. Travis was there. It was the 87th show in the Eres Tour, so he was there for the 87th show, which she noted, surprise song was the Alchemy, confirming that it's about him, which most people suspected. Then she also changed one of her outfits to be Kansas City cheap colors.

She has been off tour for two months, and so it came back post her new album. The show had been changed a lot. She added, obviously, there's another era in her catalog, so she added another era. That also means she had to cut down another place as we lost the archer. We lost Long Live. A lot of people feel, and I thought this was really interesting, somebody pointed out, she took out Long Live, which is this celebration and love letter to her fans, and put in But Daddy, I love him, which is this scorching hate letter to her fans. She made it very clear. Not only did she add that, but she also took out long live, which was crazy.

I love that message. I just want to say, I don't think that's I don't think that's what her mentality was. I don't think that she has that level of disdain for her fans or wants to-Not disdain. Of course, it's always a small but mighty percentage. I don't think that she would let that overshadow the love of her fans. Those are the people who she is singing for, who she's going around the world 87 shows for. I don't think she would make such a strong message like that. I think that maybe...

I just want to say, if she did make that message, I'd support it. For sure. Toxic fanhood and Stan culture has gotten so out of control. Seriously, I like it.

Yeah, but I don't think that's her first feeling towards her fans, nor her second, third, fourth, or fifth. I think it's more so gratitude. But when I think of long live, and maybe I'm reading it wrong, but differently, I feel like it was the perfect all-encompassing song about what she would have been in that relationship. It would be the last song in the movie. The movie ends all good. I just feel like that's not where... She needs to write a long live that encompasses her and Travis because they're even bigger than that.

Do you know what I mean? But Long Live has nothing to do with her relationship.

It has to do with Joe. Tell your kids.

Joe? Jackie, she wrote the song when she was 17. What are you talking about?

Long Live is from Speak Now. Speak Now.

She wasn't with... Are you saying Joe Jonas?

Joe Jonas, yeah. When they point up in my picture, please tell them my name.

No, it has nothing to do with the relationship. I think she's talking to her fans. Let's say this moment that I'm having doesn't exist anymore, and you have children someday, and they see a picture, just tell them my name. Tell them how the crowds went wild. It has nothing to do with a romantic relationship.

I thought this was about Jonas, that they were the Kings and the Queens.

No, the fans, they were on top of the world. Look what we had. And by the way, correct I'm wrong, Swifties, but I'm 99% sure I'm right.

I feel like now it's become that, but I feel like... I'm not saying I'm right. I'm just telling you, this is how I've always thought of long live. It was about her and Joe being the Kings and the Queens. I think they performed together back in the day, and she felt like we're on top of the world. And even if it doesn't work out, when your kids point in my picture, tell them my name.

Okay, I never have interpreted it as that ever, but maybe.

I thought it was a Joe Jonas song about They were the Kings and Queens of the Teeny Boppers, and it Things Will Never Be That Great. And it's morphed into being a song that the fans can relate to, but I got a Joe Jonas vibe. Please sound off in the comments. This would shake the bedrock for me.

It would. Back to Paris eras. She added a TPD segment. She sang all the hits. I think that everybody would have wanted her, too. New outfits. All the outfits have been updated. They're the same vibe, but just new silhouette, except for Reputation, which obviously people are reading into because that's the one album she hasn't rerecorded yet. It's like, same old, same old. But I don't know, Paris era is like, seriously FOMO. People are like, I came so mad. I paid for a show and I didn't see TTPD. I think this is just going to be how Taylor Swift moves on from now.

Also, Paris paid for a show and they didn't see Archer or Long Live. It's a give and take. It's not like they're getting more show. Calm down. Also, this is how she's going to get people to go to more shows. Nikki Glacier is going to six more. She already went to 12, and it's going to be a different show.

Yeah. No. And by the way, when we go at the end of the year, it'll be totally different. And that's so fabulous. She keeps evolving. And it must be more creatively stimulating for her to keep doing different things every night because it can get a little... You already said she sang The Alchemy.

Yeah, so that is Travis confirmed.

She also sang Begin Again, which the music video is shot in Paris, and it's No, that was a really serious Easter egg microscope on another level.

Yeah. Also, alchemy is a word that I will never know what it means. Do you feel the same?

And please don't look it up. I'm completely disinterested in actually knowing what it means.

And there's also a book called The Alchemist, and I feel like I can't read it because I don't understand what it means.

And as long as... Alchemy and alchemist, you're not in a lab with bleekers.

No, you are. It's the medieval forerunner of chemistry based on the supposed transformation of matter. It was concerned, particularly with attempts to convert base metals into gold or to find a universal elixir. It's a seemingly magical process of transformation, creation, or combination.

Elixir is a word that always makes me laugh now Because Ben, in an attempt a couple of weeks ago to make his own tea, he literally boiled water with all these different fruits and rinds and pepper corn. And he tried to make his own herbal tea, but he ended up making some concoction that makes you shit.

An elixir?

And he calls it his elixir. And if I'm ever constipating, he's like, Do you want me to make you my elixir? And honestly, I had it the other day and it actually worked. I'll ask him for the recipe if anybody's interested.

Thanks. Yeah. I feel like any time you make something wrong, it's going to make you shit.

No, but it's just water at the end of the day. He steamed all these things in it and then just drank the broth. It was disgusting. Yeah.

All is to say, The Alchemy.

All is to say, Bonne nuit.

Bonne nuit. Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

I actually, genuinely.

Yeah, otherwise, the Kurds are going to run out. And it will take three hours to upload. Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie are reuniting for a new reality series, 17 years after The Simple Life ended. Paris and Nicole are returning to their roots, the duo who became household names for The Simple Life in the early 2000s, are joining forces once again. They'll be reuniting for an all-new reality TV series more than 16 years after the conclusion of their original show. One thing to say- We don't know what it is. We don't know what it is.

It's Peacock, right?

It's Peacock, yes.

I loved, loved, loved The Simple Life. When it was on, I loved it. I've rewatched it many times. I'm the target demo for this. The thing about The Simple Life was that it was truly lightning in a bottle. Never have two people given so little fuck. In this new day and age, you couldn't get away with half the shit that they did or said. And honestly, I don't know. It's not doing it for me. The old... The Ogie is perfect. It's enough for me.

Agreed, but I'm open to what this could be. I think there's something here, and I don't know if it's going to be a simple life free, but I don't think it would be exactly the same anyway. I think everyone would agree with what you're saying. If it's perfection, don't mess with But I do think that there's great content to be had from Paris and Nicole together again. So I'm open.

But are they even friends?

Yeah, she was at her wedding.

I know they're on fine terms.

I don't think they're best friends, how they were back then, but I think they're very good. She was at Paris's wedding. Paris was at Sophia's wedding. I think they're very good.

Okay, good. That's what I want. I don't know. I'll have to see. I need to be pitched.

But I'm open. I remain open.

Me too. This isn't just an automatic yes for me, though.

Okay, well, since that was really short, I do have a little more content news that I'm going to put a subset B, if I may. Downton Abbey third movie officially announced.

Is Maggie Smith in it?

Unclear, but Paul Giamatti is.

Okay. I don't love when a normy actor- But he was in the show.

He's Cora's brother.

Paul Giamatti was in Dalton Abbey?

Yeah, he's an American uncle.

Oh, right. She's American. Okay. Because normally, with Dominic West, too, and even though I think he did a good job, I don't love seeing actors whose names I already know in Downton Abbey. It's its own universe. It's like Game of Thrones. That'd be seriously like if Brad Pitt was in Game of Thrones. No.

Yeah. No, I agree with you. But he's from the show, and he'll be back. I wonder- Are they going to America? I feel like they might have a Newport Summer, a Newport Swirly Summer.

Oh, wait. Obsessed. Well, then the dowager wouldn't be in it. She couldn't make the travel.

I think she might not be in it anyway. Also, it doesn't even make sense for her to be in it because she said her goodbye in the last movie, and I think that's good. I would love a Newport Swirly Summer for Down to Nabis 3. Maybe Julian Fellows can finally get his Gilded Age fix without being part of that stupid show.

Yeah, I know. I'm glad we all have gotten to a place where we can talk about openly that the Gilded Age is bad. I think when it first came out, Give it time. It did get a little bit better. Second season, genuinely unwatchable. Everybody was afraid. I started. I seriously, I couldn't. Everyone was afraid to say it, and they didn't want to doubt Julian Fellows and disrespect his... And now I think we're all mature enough and open enough with one another to say the show is actually abysmal.

I'm going to have to venture into season 2 to really call it, but I call it like I see it.

So I called it after two episodes of Season 2, and I seriously couldn't even tell you one thing that happened. It was so dreadful. I don't want to put all of the blame on Cynthia Nixon, but I definitely put 85% of the blame on her. She never should have been cast in that show.

No, but also a lot of the blame... Everyone, the acting is so bad, but also the set. I don't know if he didn't have enough money. I don't know if he hired the wrong set director, but he did not convincingly make a New York City street in the 1900s.

He did not do it. No, honestly, you know who I think is the worst actress?

The mother of the Rich New Family.

She's really bad, but no. Across the street, Cynthia Nixon's sister. I think her name is.

She's the linchpin of the show.

She's horrible.

The show? She's the crux of the show. She's the main character. She probably is the biggest girl. Really?

Are you talking about the old blonde lady?

Cynthia Nixon, the aunties?

The Auntie's, yeah. Yeah, she's the biggest character. And the niece, Maryanne, she sucks.

Oh my God, she's really, really bad. She's really bad. And not only is her acting bad, but her character is bad, too.

Dread. Dread is her character. Everyone- I'm so glad we can all speak openly about it now. I feel seriously like a weight has been lifted. When I was watching it last season, I was pretending and lying to myself and lying to others around me. I'm like, I love it. It's bad.

Yeah. I want to watch the season. The thing is, where do we lay blame? I don't know because it should be so good Julian Fellows' Guided Age. Done. If I were a studio head, I would have signed blank checks.

I don't even I don't think Julian Fellows. It's a collective effort to make the show bad. Everyone, whether it's casting crew, on screen- You don't think Julian Fellows resting on his laurels being like, I can do no wrong? No, because he's done great things since, like the downtown movies.

Because the established goodness was there. I feel like maybe he's just gotten a little like, Oh, it's Julian Fellows? Great. It's good. Send it off.

Yeah, maybe. Send it off. Maybe that's it. Julian Fellows just resting on his laurels.

It's giving Julian Fellows resting on his laurels. A thousand %. Someone had to say it.

That's our show. Nice love. I feel like we still have so much more to catch up on. I feel like we missed stuff, but we have all week to do that, which is so fabulous.

Do we do? I've got to go feed my sourdough starter. I've got to take more Advil. I've got to go feed myself. I've got to take more Advil for my back.

We're wishing you a speedy recovery.

Thank you. I'm wishing myself a speedy recovery because I actually physically can't deal with not... No, it's annoying. No, this doesn't work for me. It's not going to work. Yeah. It's not going to work.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the Toast and Money Morning show. Where you deliver the fast five stories. You need to know everybody through Friday on YouTube. So for watching us on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give us a video. Thumb up. We're also available on this podcast, and we're a podcast, can be found on Spotify. This is your public video. I already cast more so. This is my podcast. This is the best story. We're in a beautiful setting and wickedly talented we are. Love you. Bye.

Love you. Bye.