Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to The Toast, and happy Monday. Yeah.

Claudia, today is a blessed day.

Why?

Because this is our last full week of not being together.

Okay, I like it.

So to put a positive spin on it, it's actually our last full week of doing remote podcasting for a while. I know you love remote podcasting, so cherish every day.

Climb every mountain. You're right. Okay, love the perspective, the shift, as Tinks would call it.

We have so much to discuss today.

It's insane.

It's insane how much we have to discuss. So much TV.

Can you just, by the way, remind me what we have to discuss? Because I didn't think that we had that much to talk about.

Okay, I'm going to go from back to front, because if I start with the first topic, we're just going to start talking about it.

House of the Dragon.

House of the Dragon. So much TV I caught up on. I'm finished with The Valley. Are you finished with Rehonge? No, of course not. Okay, I'll find somewhere to put my Then, of course, Facts 5 stories. I would say they're top tier. Then, Catch Up from the Weekend. I actually have so many fun thoughts to share from the weekend. But first and foremost, our merch collection is dropping on Tuesday. We are each wearing merch from the collection. I am wearing the Lavender low-key Classic set. The collection drops tomorrow, 10 AM Eastern Time at shoptoastmerch. Com. Calamity over there. Yeah, sorry.

I'm dropping everything. Yes, as Jack Jackie was so eloquently promoting our new merch. Jackie and I wear size medium and everything. If you want to go for a more oversize look, for us, we wear mediums, and that fits well. It's not crazy baggy, I wish. Size medium. If you do want that more oversize look, especially for the crewnecks, I would go one up. We've got T-shirts, we've got a hat, we've got tons of crewnecks and sweatshirts sets. You can buy them separately, you can buy them together, mix and match sizes. It's so fabulous.

Oh, a tote. The totes are so cute. I think that's my favorite item. It's my favorite item. The designs are so cute. You can see everything on our Instagrams. We'll keep posting. You could see all the details from all of the little outfits because every outfit has their own thing going on.

Little personality.

Everyone has their own personality. It's all dropping tomorrow. Our summer collection, we're so excited.

It's going to be fabulous. That's 10:00 AM Eastern Time at shoptoastmerch. Com. Not to be confused with burkdorffgoodman. Com. That happens to us a lot when people see some of the looks. We are churning out, so just stay off burkdorffgoodman. Com and on shoptoastmerch. Com.

And as always, we have a lot of quantity of everything, but per usual, things sell quickly. So I would just say make hast.

I would say make hast, especially, I think, as it pertains to the T-shirt. And it's the same exact T-shirt we used to make the last girly one, which was probably our best selling item ever. This, I think, is even cuter. I work out in those shirts, the girly shirts, every single day. It is the best shirt.

I do everything in that shirt. When I'm done with the show and wearing whatever I'm wearing for the day, whether I need to cook, whether I need to parent, whether I need to go to the park, go for a walk, work out, that shirt I put on every single day. Yeah.

So we have another version of it dropping with such a sick design, I'm going to check it out. I meant to ask you actually prior to the fast five, let's have an offline conversation online. Do we have a story of Charlie XXX versus Taylor Swift? No. Okay. Do you know what's going on? Because I want to get your opinion on it.

Okay. But I can't give my If I don't know what's going on, I know you're going to brief me. Can you give me every detail? Yes.

Okay. Charlie XX has a new album. That's having a moment for her. She's a small artist.

I saw a brat.

It's called Brat. In the UK, where she's from, it was almost going to be number one, except Taylor blocked her. Now, Taylor, what's the album? Ttpd has been number one in the UK for X amount of weeks. Taylor is trying to break this record. It's actually her own record for her most consecutive weeks in the UK, number one album. The way she does that is very strategically. She keeps releasing new versions with live songs on it. A lot of people are coming for Taylor, being like... Because she blocked a couple of weeks ago, Billie Eilish from going number one in the UK. This week, Charlie XXX almost had her first number one. She didn't. Taylor's album stayed number one again.

What happened in the US? Because Charlie's from the UK.

Yeah, I don't think she even had a chance to make it number one in the US. This all happened in the UK, and people are arguing both sides. A lot of people saying Taylor is all about women empowerment, but she blocked Billy, she blocked Charlie. I, of course, feel completely differently about it. And yes, you could say I'm blinded by my loyalty to Taylor, but I also think if it was anyone, I would feel this way. If somebody's 20-week-old album beats yours, yours was never going to be number one.

You know what I mean? It might have been, but there was a better album.

Right. If it was the number one album, it would have been the number one album, not album that's literally been out for five months.

Yeah. And if it wasn't the number one album, TTPD, then people wouldn't keep streaming it when she releases. The cream rises. And Brat rose pretty high, but there was something creamier.

But then a lot of people are now just dissecting the relationship between the two of them. And I remember literally talking about on this show, Charlie XX opened up for Taylor on the Reputation Tour with Camilla Caballo. I remember the first interview she did afterwards. I feel like it was with Pitchfork, but I don't know that to be exact. She clowned on the whole experience, making fun of Taylor's fans. It was just very much giving like biting the hand that fed you energy. That was like a stadium tour, Charlie XX. She's not huge. And even back then, she was much smaller. And it was just a rude thing to do. And I'm sure Taylor clocked it and was like, okay. And then there's a song on this new album that Charlie XX released that people think is about Taylor. Now, it's not like a crazy diss track, but there's layers to this relationship. So I'm sure Taylor wanting to stay number one had nothing to do with Charlie XX. It's about this record she's trying to beat. But when she found I'm sure she wasn't mad. Same with Billy Eilish. I'm not going to stop doing what I'm doing for you.

You've just said four mean things about me in the press.

Yeah.

So a lot of people are like, How can you be for women, Taylor, when you're stopping other women's successes?

I don't think she's stopping other women's successes. And also, if she stops what she's doing so that they can succeed, isn't that... Charity. … Like women can't succeed on their own. And if a woman stays at number one, which is Taylor, then women are at number one. And maybe if Taylor slowed it down, like someone else would hit, and maybe a man would be that number one. Wow. Maybe all the people... Because the people who spent their time streaming TTPD, they wouldn't have done that. What would they have been listening to? Maybe propping up something that wasn't Charlie XX.

And then there's also another element. Charlie XX dates someone from the 1975. Okay. So it's just all interconnected, Maddie Healey.

Yeah.

Okay. Just briefing you on what the kids are talking about.

Okay. Yeah. I IDC.

We have House of the Dragon recap, which I'm assuming we'll do after the Fast Five because it deserves its own moment. We are so back.

Oh, you're not going to like what I have to say.

What? But I mean, we are so back, with our recap.

Oh, yeah. You're not going to like what I have to say.

Well, I think I know what you're going to say. There was a time where I think the culture was waiting with baited breath to see what Jackson Turdy were going to say about the Game of Thrones and House of the Dragon. We are so back. It's my favorite show to recap. We don't even really recap any scripted shows except House of the Dragon. And it's just so fun to have something to live for again.

Yeah, you're not going to like what I have to say.

Okay.

And I don't want to say it now because then we'll get into a recap when we have to put it at the end. For brevity's sake.

Zip it.

But it's going to be sad to watch what you just said.

You don't want to recap it anymore?

No, I'm not saying.

So people on TikTok were coming for me saying that your Aura ring really should be on your index finger if you want accurate results. Did you know that? No. It's like, the best option would be your index finger. The second best option would be your middle finger, and the third best option would be your...

Okay, well, for the size I got, I'm going to keep it on my middle finger or my ring finger. And then sometimes, when I'm sleeping, I put it on my ring finger So it's a little looser. I go back and forth between my middle and ring.

Just keep that in mind. I didn't know that this was a thing.

My index isn't really in the cards. It would be too tight.

My index is not an option either.

My index finger was too fat. I feel like if that were the case, or would have told us when we were sizing, it It would say, this is to be worn on your ring finger size, on your index finger size, it for your index finger.

I'm just sharing the knowledge with you that I have come across, and you can do with it what you will.

Maybe it's even a little more precise, but I think it's fine. We got the gist.

We got the gist.

Gist equals gotten.

Tell me about your weekend. How was Father's Day?

It was so great. We had such a jam-packed weekend. On Saturday, we went to the Science Museum.

A learned crew you are.

Yeah. No, and it was a really great museum. I was freaking out because it will sound silly to say now, but at the time, I really thought that DJ James Kennedy was DJing at the Science Museum.

You guys, Jackie is texting us all these amazing pictures of her and her family at this fabulous museum. They're learning, they're loving. And then she goes, You guys, I'm pretty sure DJ James Kennedy is DJing the museum. And I said, What on earth would make you think that?

I'll tell you what made me think that. So the music was amazing, by the way. It was club music on the ground floor, where the cafe was. And one, then two, the emcee comes on, and I'm pretty sure they said, It's DJ James Kennedy. That's what I heard. So I was like, Did they just say James Kennedy? And then I'm listening- Did anybody else hear that?

Does that corroborate that story?

I don't know if he heard the announcement at all. So I'm like, I think they just said DJ James Kennedy, and the music sounds like a DJ, and it's a fabulous museum. Maybe they have resident DJs. So I go to his stories and I see that he at Liv. Just he's at Liv. Liv Beach. Liv Beach, which I just saw Liv. So I'm like, okay, great. Miami, he's here. And the music was still really good. I heard the announcement again, and we're walking through the museum, and I'm like, I need to go find out. I cannot rest. I'm literally Looking at the museum's Instagram account seeing if they were promoting DJ James Kennedy. But I was like, Let me just walk past the booth and see if it's him. It's a local radio station that was doing the music for the day. I went to their Instagram account. I didn't see them promoting James Kennedy. So I'm like, I have to with my own two eyes. So I went to see, and it was certainly not him.

No. I was on this journey with you, and I went to James' Instagram as well. And yes, he was at Liv Beach, which the Fountain Blue Miami Hotel opened up a location in Vegas. They have a Vegas Beach Club called Liv Beach. So he wasn't even in the state. I do think there was a time where, yes, James Kennedy would be booking gigs like that. But I actually think post-Scandival, he's doing beach clubs in Vegas, not local museums in Florida.

I know. Well, I wish you had... Experience it. No, you didn't see the Vegas thing. You didn't tell me live beaches in Vegas until after I saw it with my own two eyes. Then I wouldn't have had to walk all the way over. But literally, I'm pretty sure they said James Kennedy, and then what I saw on his Instagram, it looked like Miami. So I'm like, it's him.

No, that's so funny.

It was so, so funny. But no, you guys, he did not DJ the Science Museum this weekend, unfortunately.

That's so... Such a shame.

Such, so classic. And what else? Yesterday, we went to the beach. We actually had an amazing day. Thanks to one of our new sponsors.

Yeah, they're not a sponsor today. They're not a sponsor today. And I don't want you to spoil it.

So I'll save talking about my experience with the sponsor for another day. But it was just a great Father's Day, Father's Day weekend in general. And what can I say? Fun was had.

That's amazing. I had a different week. I played golf on Saturday. I made Margot come with me, and she It was just as bad as me, but we had good time. Actually, after lunch, I said, We can keep playing. Usually, I'm like, Lunch and done. But I was having a good time. We had a couple of spritzes. Of course, our club now sells spritz because we've been a member for three weeks, and that was far too long for a man. He got that shit sold in almost immediately. It was honestly quite impressive. It was really a perfect golf drink. I was having fun. I had a good time. I played terribly, but it was all in good fun. I got tan, got my steps in, things of that nature. Then Father's Day was yesterday, which was Father's Day, boring I did have breakfast with Ben's dad, which was nice. Then I just did lonely girl tings, got a manicair, made some returns, went for a run, kosher rosered.

It's so crazy, at least for me. I wonder how other girls feel who are in our position. But Father's Day used to just be like, Oh, sad for me day. Awkward. Just sad for me. I'm sad. But then once you have kids and it becomes about your husband, I literally forgot that I used to be a victim of this holiday. My friends were texting me, and they're so sweet, and they're thinking of you, love you. I'm like, why?

No, all your friends texted me, too. It was so sweet.

Yeah, they're such sweethearts. So just know it's not permanent. And one day, you'll find the joy in the day once again. I literally forgot that I was supposed to be sad. You should be sad.

No, that's fabulous to hear. I wonder if other girls who have lost their dads who have kids feel that way now.

Yes.

Lord Elizabeth actually posted something really sweet. She was like, This used to be a day I would dread and definitely stay off social media. And today, she was so excited to wake up and share a post, all these pictures of her partner. So cute. Yeah. So cute.

It's healing.

It is. It's the circle, the circle of life.

Speaking of the valley, there's an episode where they're fishing- Speaking of the valley. There's an episode... Speaking of the circle of life, there's an episode where they're fishing, and they catch a Fish, and they throw it back in, but they killed it before. They didn't realize, but it was dead when they threw it back in, and they watch as a seagal comes and swipes the bird. The circle of life. The circle of life. So Danny starts singing, but Jack is like, You can't use that song. We're on a television show. So It's the triangle of life.

I love when they break the fourth wall and share things like that. That's when people don't realize. And I think we only discovered this a few years ago. If you ever are at a party that's being filmed for a reality show, there's no music playing. It's It's an awkward party.

Sad.

There's no music because it's an issue with the copyright.

Maybe you could have loyalty, loyalty, loyalty free beats.

Perhaps. Rfp.

I feel like recently, maybe I'm wrong, maybe they've just done a better job of it, but I feel like recently, they do play music on reality shows, but they have better technology to take it out.

I had felt that it was designated music playing time.

Dmt.

It's just carved out in the schedule. That's what I assume now when I watch reality shows, where there's a party.

Dmpt. Interesting. Because I feel like AI could cut out the background music. No problem.

That's what AI should be doing.

Has anyone asked AI?

For sure. There's for sure a software.

Ai is crazy. Ai is really the closest thing we have to magic.

That's beautiful. What if you just called AI up?

Yeah. Wrote in your chat box.

So Souris, H-O-T-D. Anything else before you want to dive in? Anything else you want to share? Hope's dreams, wishes for the future?

Oh, Hope's dreams, wishes for the future. I just wish for Toast Like This forever, law.

A thousand %.

What about you? I'm also wishing for her haircut, which you don't have to wish for. You just have to schedule.

Oh, that's so unfortunate because you know what? If only you lived here. I actually had a haircut scheduled with our girly Mahogany on Wednesday. I make them really far in advance because I'm always needing a haircut more than I realize. So I checked my schedule for this week, and I text Mahogany. I'm like, Do I have a haircut? I just got one. I'm like, Do you have a haircut Wednesday? She was like, Yeah. Do you want to move it back? I'm like, Honestly, yeah, I don't need it this week, but you could have taken my appointment. If you just didn't move and abandon your family.

Well, no, I could just go next week when I'm in New York. I'm excited. That's when I got my haircut. But remember, I had such a transformative haircut in Dallas a few months ago, and all that's gone.

No, and we're going to be working. All that match Anything outside this summer. I think you need to do a significant chop because I loved your Dallas haircut. I didn't think it was choppy enough.

Well, you know I'm always ready to go back to short hair. Is it time?

Oh, I loved your short hair. I don't remember it, but no, I think like a...

No, I don't know. I love your bob. I don't think it's time. I think I used to have a bob, and I would style it very bob-like, very sleek and bouncy. I did that for a few years, and I loved it. And I always just thought But deeper into motherhood, I would bring it back. But I feel like right now, I still need my hair.

I also think when you were in your bob era, your style was very reflective of that bob. I feel like you're branching out being a little bit more less Bre Van de Kemp in your wear, that maybe the bob doesn't go with your style anymore.

You think I'm being less?

Yeah, you used to wear a lot of collar shirts, dresses. I guess you still do.

I feel like it's only been more going towards No, you're a little bit more relaxed now in your motherhood style. In what sense?

I feel like your Bob style was way more buttoned up. Now you're just a little bit more relaxed. You wear a lot of sets.

What sets?

Matching tops and bottoms. You wear a lot of sweat sets. You wear a lot of collar shirt and those linen short sets. Whereas before, I feel like you were just a little bit more like culotte trouser energy.

Okay.

I just feel like it would limit you.

I think it would limit me. Okay, well, I wasn't planning on doing it, but you just said summer, I have to come my hair off.

No, I just meant more than a trim. You need to cut four or five inches, I think.

I don't know. I don't love a mid-cut.

I know you don't.

It's like, make a choice.

I cut my hair a couple of weeks ago, and I feel like today it's at the length I wanted it to be at. I went a little short so I could reach this mid-length, and this is what I love.

You and Margot love to do a mid-cut and act like you're changed.

We are.

I just think, Keep it long or go short.

We are.

Those are my words of wisdom.

Yeah, it's like decision paralysis. It's like this half up, half down, half short, half long.

Yeah, I like that. Decision paralysis. That's a nice term. Okay.

Ben has been saying it so much about, literally, the dumbest decisions. Should I make the tuna with light mayo or regular mayo? He's like, I'm having decision paralysis. Please just make the choice for me because it doesn't matter.

I just like, for some reason- That's how you know he's been podcasting too much when he starts talking like that.

Like an internet user.

Yeah, decision for Alice's. Where did he get it from?

I'll have to ask him where he learned this new phrase. It's always interesting when your husband learns a new word or phrase. It's like, Where'd you learn that? Your girlfriend?

But I think in his case, it's like, Where'd you learn that? Your podcast? No, also perhaps- Because he has to talk to a lot of new people. He probably starts to talk like Josh. I could see Josh knowing that phrase. Yeah, and then he probably got it from Josh, and then we have to find out where Josh got it from.

You've been using the phrase decision paralysis a lot, period. Where did you pick that up? Is it paining you not to add your girlfriend? Yeah, of course. But I want him to answer me seriously. I love just saying your girlfriend.

But anyways, that's a good phrase. I feel like actually you do suffer from decision paralysis sometimes.

Sometimes, daily. That's why I need you in a In the biblical sense, you can never leave me. I cannot seriously wipe my ass without being like, Jaggy. Quilted or regular.

So true. Also, is decision, paralysis, an ableist term?

I'm sure it is. Why? Because paralysis is what? When you're paralyzed?

When you're paralyzed, yeah.

But I think it's temporary, paralysis. No. What the fuck do I know?

It could be either. You could be paralyzed temporarily or permanently.

I'm excited to dive into the stories. You said they're top tier, and honestly, nothing's coming to mind except JLo and her weird Father's Day tribute.

She's not even in the stories.

She literally was like, Our hero, thank you. And it's Ben Affleck, whom she cherishes no children with.

Right. Listen, she's got a lot going on, okay?

I'm seriously sending her love and light.

She's running PR through every pore of her body. Just accept whatever she puts out, okay? She's dealing with some stuff. We'll Now, without further ado, here are the Fast Five stories that you need to know.

The Fast Five stories that you need to know are brought to you with our new favorite show on Prime Video. We may have just found our new TV Obsession on Prime. Have you guys heard about My Lady Jane? It's inspired by the best-selling book. This series is a history-bending romanticy about Lady Jane Gray, known as the Nine Days Queen. Jane was the Queen of England for nine days, and then she was beheaded, the ultimate damsel in distress. My Lady Jane tells her story the way it should have happened. You'll meet Jane A No-At-All Tudor noblewoman with a sharp tongue and a warm heart. Then there is Guilford, an intriguing scoundrel with a dark secret. They have undeniable chemistry, so get ready to ship these star-cross lovers in an epic tale of true love and high adventure set in an alt universe of action, comedy, romance, and Lust at first sight. Oh, and it's all set to a modern soundtrack. Prepare Thyself for My Lady Jane, which arrives June 27th on Prime Video. Prime Video kills it with the shows. I feel like every time they take a book and turn it into a movie or a series, it's always good when it's on Prime.

They're known for their soundtracking, too. This is the trapings of everything we're going to love. June 27th on Prime Video, it's called My Lady Jane. Today's episode is also brought to you by Quince. Whenever we're gearing up for our next trip, deciding what to pack is always so stressful. The clothes we have either don't fit or worn out or they just don't match. But then we discovered Quince. It's our go-to for high-quality vacation essentials that we'll be packing for trips to come. They've got premium silk, linen dresses, blouses and shorts from $30, washable silk tops, premium luggage options, and so much more. The best part is that all of Quince's items are priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. By partnering directly with Top Factories, Quince cuts out the cost of the middleman and passes the savings onto us. With Summer Upon Us, we've got a big trip coming up. I'm sure you guys have weddings, trips to the Cape, things of that nature. Clambakes. Clambakes. You need cute outfits like linen dresses, and you want well-made stuff that will last you till next summer, but you don't want to spend a crazy amount on a bunch of new things for your wardrobe.

That's why Quince is so fabulous. They're also fabulous because they only work with factories that use safe ethical practices and responsible manufacturing. They've got premium fabrics and finishes, which we love. As Jackie Goldschneider would say, It's top quality fabric. Everything I have from Quince, I love, and I've worn, but it doesn't look worn. I've got cashmere sweaters, great trousers, great linen shorts. It's stuff that I can wear year after year that wears really well. It's made really well, but it didn't break the bank when I was purchasing. So pack your bags with the high-quality essentials from Quince. Go to quince. Com/toast for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. That's quince. Com/toast. To get free shipping and 365 day returns, quince. Com/toast. Today's episode is also brought to you by GameTime. Gametime makes getting tickets for concerts and events faster and easier, even if you don't buy tickets right away. Prices on the GameTime app actually go down the closer it gets to show time. With killer last minute deals all in pricing, views from your seats, and their lowest price guaranteed, GameTime takes the guesswork out of buying tickets because we We're living in a country where buying tickets has become a sport.

It's become such a challenge for everyone's physical and mental health, and it just shouldn't have gotten to this place. Gametime is taking a lot of the guesswork, a lot of the stress out of buying tickets, especially if you'd like to buy tickets the day of, which I do, too. I just can't plan things more than a couple of days in advance. Why is GameTime so fabulous? They've got last-minute tickets, flash deals, zone deals, all in pricing. You can toggle this feature to show you the total upfront. It's not like other places where you select a ticket. By the time you get to check out, it's four times the price because of all their hidden fees. They've also got the lowest price guarantee. They are guaranteeing that, or GameTime will credit you 110% of the difference. Gametime also offers ticket coverage. Your purchase is covered with the most flexible customer service policy in the ticketing industry. So just take the guesswork and the stress out of buying concert tickets with GameTime. Again, you can go to GameTime for sports, for theater, for comedy, for music, of course. Download the GameTime app, create an account, and use code Toast for $20 off your first purchase.

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Thank you, La.

What can I say except you're welcome.

Our first story, Kate Middleton, was seen publicly for her royal public appearance for the first time since announcing her cancer diagnosis and treatment. She returned to the Trooping of the Color 2024. She wore a white dress. Her children were matching in navy, and it was really, really jolly good to see her.

She looked gorgeous. I loved the outfit. She looked strong and healthy, and she had color in her face. I'm sure going to these events, as a person without cancer, is a lot of work. As someone who's actively recovering from something like cancer, I imagine it just took her out, and I hope she's recovering. But she brings so much joy to the people globally. And I love to see her out and about. I'd rather see her up there shaking that thing.

And we did get to, and that was great. And we got some really sweet family moments from her and the family. I'm just wishing them all the best. I think people will still find crazy things to say about the display from this weekend. But to me, this just looks like a woman who's doing her best and going through a lot, and she's still a queen.

Yeah. And the fact that the event that we got is one of the royal events where they all stand on the balcony. It's not just a photo, and then she walks into a church or something. We get minutes of footage. Of course, so many viral moments. The kids are so cute. They're really well-behaved. But this photo is going viral. What was the actual event called?

The Trooping the Color.

It was a photo, just a collage of the last Trooping of the Color and this Trooping of the Color. Charles has really pared down the royal family's active working members. When you look at the Queen Elizabeth one, it might be 20 people, maybe more, 15. No, it's probably 30. I don't know. I can't count crowds. Can anyone? Can you look at a group of people and be like, This is 100 people.

I'm like, Really? I can't. We were somewhere recently, and Zack and I were trying to figure out how many people were there. Could have been 30, could have been 100. I couldn't tell you. I would have to go around. I would have to count on my fingers. I'm trying to see. Well, that could be two things. I want to see the picture that you're talking about. But when Queen Elizabeth was the monarch, and it's her immediate family, so it's her children, grandchildren, her line.

Aren't they the same line? Wouldn't it be the same? I feel like isn't Charles' thing- No, because Charles' sisters and brothers wouldn't be next to him.

It's just his direct line. But he had two kids. Now there's just William working.

It was 2022, the photo that's going viral, where all the people can't even fit in the balcony.

I have to see who was on the balcony last year and this year.

Isn't that also Charles' thing? He is decreasing the size of the core working members of the royal family to decrease spending or whatever.

Yeah, that was his thing even when Elizabeth was alive to keep it focused on the nuclear family. But also given Charles' age compared to Elizabeth's, Prince George doesn't have children yet. He's a child himself. Elizabeth had four children. Charles has two, and now just one working. That's true. It's not like something has happened. It's both logistics, age, et cetera.

Okay, that's true.

I don't think it speaks to anything. I think if he wanted to have Randos on there, you That rugby player who podcasts is always down for a good time.

A hundred %.

Always down for good appearance. He's supportive.

Yeah, he's loyal. I'm so glad that this whole Kate saga has come to an end. She said she would do an appearance after Easter. It is after Easter. She looked gorgeous.

No, but she had to announce her cancer. She announced it before Easter. They couldn't even give her till Easter. Yeah, right. Then it was like the Easter marker was off. Now it's like, go fuck yourselves. You'll see me when you see me. Whenever I'll get there.

I'll get there when I get there.

Yeah, but we couldn't even, not me, you guys, couldn't even give her till Easter.

Yeah. Well, she looks great. She did. I love her sending her well wishes.

Me as well. Are Are you ready for our next story? Army Hammer is breaking his silence on his cancelation and cannibalism accusations.

You know how you always say, Amanda Knox is a blind spot for me in the culture, a story I didn't keep up with? I feel that way about Army Hammer, too. That was just a cancelation that went just right by me.

Yeah. I wonder what we were doing. Must have been a busy time for us, but we didn't dig into this. It was just like, Oh, wow. All these people said this. Bye-bye.

I don't even know fully the extent of his allegations besides the cannibalism. You don't forget that.

The accusations were from a series of girlfriends, but it started with Effie, and I think she was an influencer at the time, saying that he violently raped her and abused her mentally, emotionally, and physically in 2017 when she was just 20 years old. Then another one of his exes, Courtney, came forward and said that he said that he wanted to break my rib and barbecue and eat it. So that became Army Hammer eats people. He's a cannibal. Right. Right. Right. Though I don't know if anyone actually ever thought he ate people, he successfully ate someone, but he definitely had a thirst.

Yeah. And people are already so suspicious of what goes on in Hollywood.

You can't say stuff like this.

You can't because it just gives credence to a lot of crazy theories that people think already because Hollywood is so fucking weird. Yeah.

So he's broken his silence over the shock cannibalism allegations that had imploded his career. Despite claims that he had cannibalism fantasies, Hammer denied the claim saying there was no criminal wrongdoing in his four-year relationship with Effie and then also with his other exes. He appeared on the Painful Lessons podcast on Sunday, and he addressed the shocking cannibalism allegations that have plagued his reputation. People called me a cannibal, and everyone believed them. They're like, Yep, that guy ate people. What are you talking about? Do you know what you have to do to be a cannibal? You have to eat people. How am I going to be a cannibal? It was bizarre.

He said that I like how he's just skirting around the big rape.

Yeah. Even though we call him a cannibal, colloquially- For fun. I don't think he ever successfully ate a person.

I don't think he sat down with a bib, fork, and a knife, and a leg.

Yeah. But to want to eat a rib of a human, cannibalist fantasies.

Yeah. The thing is, I would do anything for this podcast. I seriously... There's nothing I wouldn't do for views.

For the toast.

For the toast. But I honestly, if somebody came to me and were like, Army Hammer is going to break his silence on your podcast, I'd be like, No, thank you. Who the fuck? I guess there's always going to be someone who's going to have him on their podcast. If Army Hammer wants to speak, he's going to speak. But I feel like it just should have been harder for him to break his silence.

Yeah. Well, he also said he's now in a place in his life where he's grateful for every single bit of it, meaning the cancelation. I'm actually now at a place where I'm really grateful for it because where I was in my life before all of that stuff happened to me, I didn't feel good. I never felt satisfied. I never had enough. I never was in a place where I was happy with myself, where I had self esteem. I never knew how to give myself love. I never knew how to give myself self validation. But I had this job where I was able to get it from so many people that I never had to learn how to give it to myself. I just want to say, a lot of times people go through hard stuff, cancelations, et cetera, and they're like, you know what? I'm better off for it.

They learn a lot.

And I believe them because I think a lot of the times it's true. I don't believe him here.

No, me neither. And also, I don't care about how he feels.

No. To go with, I was a bad person because I was in a bad place. I didn't know how to give myself love. I feel like you gave yourself too much love to think that you can treat people like that.

No. He's like, I was in a bad place and I did bad things because I was just so famous and successful and everybody was giving me so much love. Is that supposed to make me feel bad for you?

Yeah.

No. I have a deep hatred and a genuine... I seriously don't fucking care what happens to Arbie Hammer in this life. If I never heard from him again, my life would be amazing. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. It's not even a hate, actually. It's such an indifference.

Well, that's because we You have to be a fan to then care about the demise. But I guess he was in the social network.

The social network.

But really, people love him from Call Me By Your Name. The people who love that movie, Dana, I think this was really hard for them.

I I understand. Yeah, I never saw that movie. It's always on my list of movies to see, except for that, what do I need to be putting money in Army Hammer's pocket for?

Well, now, probably not. Also, why fall in love with him now? When you already know.

But I feel I would have a similar experience if I take Army Hammer out of it that I had with Brokeback Mountain. It was this cultural moment. I never saw it, and I never saw it. Then I saw it, and I was like, Oh, I totally get it. Then I think, but I'm not interested in having any moment with Army Hammer. I don't even really like Timothée Chalamagne.

Think about someone who you have moments with who you love, a random person from a piece of content that you love. I'm going to give you an example. Peter Faccinelli. For some people, who's that? For us, he's everything.

I guess if there ever was an exposé on Peter Faccinelli, which we all know there never would be. Oh, not me jingsing, next thing you know, rolling stone into the dark, twisted world of Peter Fatch. I would be devastated.

Oh, my God. That's how this was for some people.

Okay. You need to hold space. I hear you. Thank you. Thank you for putting me in their shoes.

And Peter Fatch is also a little niche. Imagine someone like...

Okay, Peter Fotch is not niche.

Joe Manginello.

Honestly, I think I would take Peter Fatch harder, for real. You chose a really good one.

Okay, I'll leave it at that.

Yeah. Okay. Let's leave it at that.

So now you know how it feels.

But you don't.

Are you ready for our next story?

Mm-hmm.

Sabrina Carpenter. I mean, if this ain't the summer of Sabrina.

I say this every time, I'm so happy for her.

So happy for her. She is giving an interview to Rolling Stone, talking about a lot of ting. She was talking about her love for tailored. She was talking about doing her Skims campaign, even though the beef with the tailored. Oh, my God.

I didn't even see this.

Oh, yeah. She mentioned it, and she said she spoke to tailored. We're all good. I know people want to make it about that, but everything is good.

Okay. I so appreciate her talking about this, Because now I think I can apply that to everyone else whom we've had question marks over. Sabrina was definitely the biggest question mark, but Lana Del Rey, Brittany Mahomes, good to know.

Yeah, good to know. Then also she's talking about working with Jack Antonoff, who I guess It's just people are hating him recently, saying all the artists that he works with, their music sounds the same when he works with them.

I think that's a valid criticism, because I remember my first thought off of TTPD was that some of the songs sounded a lot like Lana Del Rey, who It's like a classic Jack Antonoff girly.

But I also think the way I read it, which maybe you're right, though, but the way I read it, it's like, if a one artist works with Jack for too long, all of that one artist's song sound the same.

Well, I think it's that, too. I also feel like it's super healthy to bop around producer-wise because every album has its own sound. Now, of course, there's iconic collaborators that work together forever, Sunny and Share vibes. But I would say one of my criticisms of TTPD was I personally am over the Jack Antonoff pop synth energy, and I would love for Taylor to work with Chris Martin, Ryan Tedder again. Ryan Tedder. But I think the current state of music is very influenced by Jack Antonoff, and that's why everybody works with him. I just feel I'm not into that sound, per se.

Yeah. Well, she has something to say to the haters.

Who? Jack? Sabrina.

To Jack's haters. She says, Fuck them all. I think he's one of the most talented people I've ever met. When he's in a room, he's able to literally touch every instrument in the room and make it sound magical. Maybe that's AI. He also works very fast, which I appreciate because I work very fast.

By the way, I just want to say, I don't disagree with her. He's probably one of the most talented producers of our time. I just think too much of a good thing. It just feels oversaturated. I'm not saying any of the music's bad. It's just a lot. All music sounds the same these days. Taylor definitely sets herself apart with her songwriting, everything, the whole universe she's created. But I think that a lot of the criticism just about him is valid in the sense that it's a lot.

Yeah.

But whenever I talk about Jack Antrop, people actually really always disagree with me. I didn't know that the hate had become mainstream enough to be asked in an interview with Sabrina.

Yeah, but people disagree with you in the sense they love him?

Yeah, and they think him and Taylor's working relationship is perfect, and she should never work with anyone ever Got it.

I think it's really split. But I think people would never question a Taylor decision, period.

No, but see, for me, I think her collaboration with Jack Antonoff was perfection and folklore and evermore because that was the vibes of those albums. But I really feel for Midnight's Actually, TTPD is still ever more coded, honestly. But Midnight's was a real pop album, and I do wish she had done it with Ryan Tedder. Just to change. I don't need synth everywhere.

Where does Aaron Desner fit into this?

He fits in the same way. He collaborates with her on a lot of her slower.

And is it like she'll do one song with Aaron, one song with Jack, or it's like the three of them do everything together?

The three of them did everything together on Folklorne Evermore. With Midnight's and TTPD, there are certain songs that Jack is on. I think Jack is on pretty much every single one of them. Aaron's on some of them. He's just a collaborator who shows up when he feels like it.

Hey, how you all doing?

Yeah, but Aaron Desner is probably some of my favorites. Would have, could have, should have. Peace. Those are like Aaron Desner works of art.

Got it. I guess Jack Antonoff. Antonoff worked on Espresso and Please, Please, Please.

Did he work on Espresso?

I feel like if he's working with Sabrina.

Let me just double check. I didn't know that. I knew he worked on Please, Please, Please. Producer of Espresso. No, Produced by Julian Baneta.

And that's the song of the summer. So wouldn't Julian Boneta be the producer de jour?

Right. And then Please, Please, Please, Was, I guess, yes, produced by Jack Antoff. Or maybe it's the album that's coming out soon, Short and Sweet.

Yeah. Well, Summer of Sabrina 2024 continues. I hope everyone's having fun. That's a Mi Espresso.

I'm having fun.

It's crazy how that song is just the song now.

Yeah, Please, Please, Please was produced by Jack Antonoff. And then the album Short and Sweet...

Shall be.

Julian and Jack. That's who's on the Wikipedia so far.

Julian. Okay. It's Julian's time.

That's how we sorted that out. Me. That's what Julian said today.

Are you ready for our fourth story? A little more music news.

Yeah.

Scooter Braun officially retires for management.

You see this? I feel like he already did.

I feel like he had stepped back in some of the bigger art. He's always shuffling around artists, but now he's stepping back from management completely. He made it official on Monday. He is stepping back from being a manager to focus on being CEO of high B America, the company to which he sold his own ethical holdings company in 2021, and to focus on his family. He made the announcement in nearly a 1400-word statement on his Instagram, and he posted a carousel of photos from the Good Times. Ari, Justin, Miley, Dem Demi.

Yeah, there's been an interesting arc here. He sold his company, and I think it was really huge news because he sold it for a billion dollars, and to an even bigger, more influential company. So he really killed it. And Then there was that time where all the artists that had made his company, his company, Justin Bieber, notably Ariana Grande, left and sought new management. Now, Demi had left and started it, but she wasn't an O. G. There. So at first, that didn't raise any flags. Yeah. But then Justin and Ari, that's crazy.

Yeah, but I think he was just always shifting away from management. Now, he's the CEO of the big company that bought his big company. How do you have time to manage people? These are big artists. They can't just be some side project.

Right. I think at the time, it felt nefarious when everyone was leaving.

Now, I feel like it could have- But I feel like they were saying it's not nefarious, but you just assume that it is because it looks that way. But they were like, No, this is just a natural progression of the business.

Now, knowing what we I can see him sitting down and being like, Listen, I'm going to be leaving this company in this capacity and working more at a glance. Let's work now on finding you the best management. I could see that because those were his OGs. I want to assume that there was no bad blood. Now, as a Swiftie, of course, I find myself in such a unique position. But let me just say this because I don't think I've stated it recently. You will not catch me saying any ill things about Scooter Braun anymore. What an ally for the Jewish people, pro-Israel king, called out Mark Ruffalo. Seriously- That's all it takes for an eternity. When it comes to Taylor Swift, you will not... Sorry, that's my queen, but you know what?

That's you, my king.

That is my king, calling out Mark Ruffalo. I don't want to hear it. I'm blind. Suddenly, I can't say.

Yeah, no. He's one of the few Jewish celebrities who puts their money where their mouth is, who says the truth, who's not afraid. Everyone feels this way, but doesn't say anything because they're afraid of backlash and this and that. But he is unabashed in his support.

And now I am, too.

He's actually making things happen. He was a key player in bringing the Nova It Here, which I think has been really important for people to see. So yeah, doing King Shit. I support this man.

You're not going to hear me. Yeah, you're not going to hear me.

Great. And now that he sold Ithaca, which owned Old Taylor, Taylored. Oh. Well, he's still the CEO of the company that owns Ithaca now, but that's just a job for him now.

I wonder if Taylor at all has made peace with that time, because I know she's our queen who loves to remember things. But this historic level of success. There's a couple of things that happened in the last couple of years to Taylor Swift that made this moment possible. One One of them is the re-recordings. Because how rare is it that an artist has an album like Folklor, where they're introduced to the world? Of course, she was popular, but now she's universal. Then she gets the opportunity to release her biggest hits all over again. Usually, if that happened, It's on the consumer to go back and do the work. She did the work for us. You get to reintroduce your life's work to the biggest audience ever. It's almost like four dominoes that fell. I think the re-recording was probably one of the biggest ones that made the Erris tour is obviously the final and also one of the biggest. But it made this moment she's having possible. I wonder if, how we were saying with Army Hammer, everything happens for a reason. I wonder if she looks back on it at all. I think she definitely harbors a lot of hate still for Scott Borchetta.

I think she harbors hate for a scooter. And I think she looks back on it and it's like, all of this happened and it brought me to where I am, but I'm where I am because of me, not because of those things happened, because of what I did with it. And she's right for that. If it hadn't happened that way and she still in some way owned her music, that would have been good for her, too. And she would still be tailored, so she'd still make big things happen. No, I think there are one, two, three things in people that she will never just squash. It's not like Katie Perry in the backup dancers.

Yeah, that was so stupid.

It's like her life's work, her name, her reputation. It's Kim, Scooter, and Scott, and Kanye.

Kim/kanye, yeah.

Scooter Scott is... Scooter Scott. Even though, to me, I don't see it the same. Scott was her mentor.

I see Scott as the true villain in that scenario.

Yeah. Scooter is just a businessman.

To betray the woman who literally gave you a career. Yes, you took a chance on her, but then she repaid you 10X.

Yeah. So I think those are like- And you knew her family. Her top-tier feuds. And then she's got like, Billy Eilish said this. She's got her ear to the ground like, What do people say about me? I'll make them pay one day, but it's not going to be a forever. Her thing. No, it's true. And I don't think Olivia Rad. She goes on level one.

Me neither.

I think she's lower-level viewed.

Yeah, but if I couldn't know the answer to anything in this world. Seriously, that would be it. What's really going on?

Taylor and Olivia?

Yeah.

Yeah. And what's also weird is that song, Get You Back. I'm going to Get You Back. I completely agree. Because I I haven't listened to it that much, but it came up while I was cooking, so I'm listening to it. I didn't know the Olivia Rodrigo song, but you're saying that it sounds like her song, and the message is the same of like, I'm going to get you- It doesn't sound. It doesn't sound.

It doesn't sound. It doesn't sound. They're just two songs with literally the exact same the chorus lyrically. It's like, I want to get him back, and it has dual meaning. I want to get him back revenge-wise, or I want to get him back into my bed. Apparently, it's neither one of their original concepts. They're both paying homage to, I forget who did it first, a Regina Specter, Fiona Apple, someone like that. It's a trope that's already been done, but it is strange.

Especially because the original fight was about songs being similar. I don't know. It's giving sparky pilastri. We all learn the same routine.

It's giving sparky pilastri. It's giving, These aren't spirit fingers. These are spirit fingers, and these are golden. What a nut. That's It's seriously one of... I've not spoken about enough character in Cinematic history, Sparky Polaster. He was in the movie for all of 10 seconds, but he's the star.

That's become one of my favorite things to reference when two people are doing the same thing just because they learned it from the same person who didn't tell them that they taught it to another person. It's Sparky Palastri.

Prepare for world domination, domination, domination.

We were FaceTiming the other day, and I said something was a Sparky Palastry. I don't remember what it was. If it was on FaceTime, it was for the private. But it sums up that concept. If we're not copying each other, like someone from on pie gave us the same thing.

It's seriously the perfect analogy. We need to start using it more often. Especially here with get them back.

Right. So Fiona Apple is the sparky pilastri of the get them back concept.

Don't quote me on Fiona Apple. It's like somebody in that genre. Like maybe it's- Like Ingrid Michelson. Nora Jones. I don't know.

Ingrid Michelson?

Yeah, they're All in the same Spotify playlist.

For sure. Oh my God. My butt.

My butt is killing me.

What is going on? Okay. I have this... Our butts have been hurting so much.

When we're sitting- Jackie, somebody told me, it's like when you're skinny, it happens. I've never had this problem in my life. And post Ozempic, it happens to me on a daily basis. I know you've recently reached a fitness goal of you. I mean, a health goal of yours. Seriously, I can't sit on my tailbone without actually needing to readjust every 10 minutes. And if I don't, I'm blinded. You guys probably watch a show and see me doing this. I did it three minutes ago.

And I also want to say thank you for calling me skinny. It means the world to me that you would think that this is because I was skinny. But the last time I suffered from this was at the tail end of my pregnancy and the beginning of postpartum, and I was not super small. So it's not that... And I feel like it might be seasonally, like something in the wind, because that was last summer, and now it's summer again, and my butt hurts.

But explain how it's been happening to me now. I've been living with this problem for a full year.

I couldn't even sit in the car yesterday. So it's like, Yeah, the car.

The car is huge. So your pain is right above your butt crack, right? Tailbone, I think that's what it's called.

It's not my tailbone. It's more on the cheeks, but high cheeks.

Oh, no. Mine's right above my crack.

No, mine is high cheeks.

I don't know what... Your problem sounds fucking weird.

It's like... Yeah, I don't know. I think it has to do with the seasons. That's the common denominator.

No, I think the common denominator is we have very Jewish flat asses. Why now? I think we have big juicy. Why now?

We sit in this chair every day for years.

But it's also not the chair because I get it every year. I get it in my house.

I'm now getting in the car, too.

The car, it's really bad.

I have to sit on my side. I feel like this.

It's all the pressure. It's like all my body weight is resting on my tailbone.

I feel like it has to do with the bones. When the bones are good, the chair don't matter.

It's bony. It's bony. Should we start taking calcium? Maybe.

Sound off in the-We're both...

By the way, the way that... Wait, the way that our episodes on YouTube are stitched together, we're going to be bumping asses the way we're sitting right now.

Hey, turdy. Tushy Bumbers.

Tishy Bumbers. Tishy Bumbers is a game Jackie and our sisters invented when we were kids to play in the pool. It's honestly an amazing game, and we still play it. It's not even a game. It's just a little trick we can do.

It is a little trick. Speaking of the pool, are you ready for our fifth and final story?

What does it have to do with the pool?

It does have to do with the pool. I don't want us great segue to get in the way of this show and our business, but I do need to let you know that the rest of the show is brought to you by Byheart. Okay. Couldn't not do that. Today's episode of The Toast is brought to you by By Heart. By Heart is an infant nutrition company built from the ground up to deliver real innovation on behalf of babies and parents. Their mission is simple, make the best formula in the world. This year, our friends at By Heart, the only American-made formula with globally sourced ingredients to use organic grass-fed whole milk, never skim, are celebrating all the ways in which they never skim on anything, especially for your bebes. Byheart never skims on healthy fats using only organic grass-fed whole milk. Whole milk is full of healthy fats like naturally occurring MFGM, which play an important role in brain development and growth. Byheart never skims on their standards. Their formula is made with certified clean ingredients, plus it has no soy, yuck, corn syrup, GMOs, yucky, or palm oil, blah. Try Byheart today and celebrate their commitment to never skim on all the important benefits when it comes to Infant Formula.

Curious about Buyhardt? Redeem your welcome offer at buyheart. Com/podcast with code toast20. For a limited time, additional terms and conditions apply. Thank you, By Heart, and thank you for never skimming.

Wait, Jackie, I'm just feeling a little curious about By Heart.

So then you would redeem your welcome offer at byheart. Com/podcast with code toast20 for a limited time.

Thank you. Today's episode is also brought to you by Cozy Earth. Are you tired of tossing and turning on these hot summer nights?

Are you tired of tossing and turning on your chair?

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Thank you, turdy Earth. Agreed. Our fifth and final story has been one of my favorite stories to follow every four years, and I really wish it had a different outcome. The Olympics. The Olympics and Cody Simpson's attempt to become an Olympian. Popstar and swimmer, Cody Simpson has his Olympic dream dashed after...

Popstar, swimmer, and country music artist, according to Jackie O.

According to The Toast. His Olympic dreams are dashed after missing out on the Paris 2024 swimming spot. So Cody Simpson has put his singing career on hold to try and make it to the Olympics, but has had his dream squashed by less than half of a second. The former pop star will not make it to Paris 2024 after failing to secure his spot in the Australian team's qualifying rounds in Brisbane on Saturday. He came fifth in the men's 100-metre butterfly final behind Matt Temple, who won in 51.15 seconds. Ben Armbruster, 51.23 seconds, Sean Champey's 51.40 seconds, and Jesse Coleman, who finished in 51.51 seconds. Despite his agonizing loss, falling short of Mr. Coleman by just 0.28 seconds, Simpson said the experience was absolutely He said- 28 seconds is a lot.

0.28. Oh, I'm sorry.

Rude. He said, I'm proud of myself, and I knew it was going to be a tight one tonight. He added that he would not dwell on the loss since he gave it his all. He said, I knew I was going to have to pull something out of myself, but I was very close to my best swim. All you can do is all you can do, which is a saying I quite like, because what else can you do?

So he was 0.28 off from the fourth place person or the first?

From the fourth place person, and then point... But Maybe fourth place goes as an alternate.

Let me say, the Australians are amazing swimmers. Stereotypically, they're a big competitor for America. So he wasn't in this, for lack of a better word, loser pool. Honestly, he probably would have qualified in most other countries. It's just a shame. Australia is known for their swimmers. Yeah.

So he was 0.40 off of being number three.

So Less than a half a second.

And he also attempted to go to the Olympics in 2020 as a swimmer and didn't make it. And I just really wish he had made it.

I know. In 2020, he wasn't even close. So this is particularly devastating to have spent the last four years clearly wanting this so badly and to have gotten so close. I almost wish he lost by five seconds because then it was like, you were never going to make it.

No, this is a really hard loss. And to make matters worse, he later swam a personal best that would have placed him among the qualifying six. It was just not even a hair's breath.

If somebody gets sick or whatever, or Nancy Kerrigan, Tanya, somebody came, does he... He's not an alternate, but does he become the alternate for the alternate?

I don't know if they fly you out. I think you only get a certain number of alternates, and say you really go through all your alternates, well, then that's that.

I do love that the Olympic trials are making news. There was some swimming news here in America. Somebody said a world record, one of the girlies. So I got to get into that. I need to start putting on the chat. I need to start having it play in my house.

We're already excited about the Olympics, but had Cody Simpson been going to the Olympics, and we really... I think we care about Cody Simpson more than most here at the toast.

Don't say that.

More than most. Not more than anyone, but more than most. Yeah.

And I think it would have- Remember when his mom was almost on the Real House life of Beverly Hills? No. She was friends with Yolanda. She had red hair.

I think it just would have added a layer of intrigue to the events this summer that I would really appreciate it. Also, then he'd be in Olympic Village. Who's going to woo Cody Simpson?

It would have been a nice narrative for sure. I think- For us. Maybe Australia as a government should have done more to rig it for him. But that's why you have to love the Olympics. It is a true meritocracy. The cream rises. It's about being the best.

Also, both his mother and father both swam for Australia. Yeah.

So it really meant a lot to him, probably.

Sorry, not at the Olympics, but at the Pan Pacific Games and Commonwealth Games. That's legit. That's probably the level that he's at, too. He's been swimming all year in races and stuff. Yeah.

I'm devastated for him. I'm sending him love. As an athlete myself, I obviously know how hard it can be to commit your life and your body to the sport. And I just want to let you know I see you from one athlete to another.

Yeah. Could you move to another country and swim for them?

How does that I don't know what the rules are for Olympics. Is it the President? Is it a natural born citizen or your parents or some shit?

It's something to do with... Because all the hockey players who play here go back to Canada and play for Canada. So I don't know. I guess it's wherever you identify as where you live.

Do you have to be a citizen to be an Olympian? I love talk to.

Not a great way to phrase the question.

I know. And I wonder if it's the rule of the Olympics or of each country. Do you have to be born in the US to be in the Olympics. Athletes must be nationals or citizens of the country they represent. So either born here or you have a passport.

No, everyone.

Does that make you a citizen?

Yeah. A passport doesn't make you a citizen.

Yeah, it does.

You get your citizenship. Oh, your US passport. I'm sorry. I thought you just meant a passport, ready to travel.

No, because I'm saying I know Brian has Portuguese citizenship. Could he be an athlete for Portugal?

Apparently. Maybe Cody could swim for Portugal.

It's the Olympic Charter. It's a global rule. It's not country by country.

Okay, cool. Yeah, the Olympics, they're not really willy-nilly in their rules.

Okay, I'm on the International Olympic Committee Frequently Asked Questions page. Can I compete for another team than my nationality? According to Olympic Charter Rule 4041, any competitor in the Olympic Games must be a national of the country of the NOC, which is entering as a competitor. A competitor who is a national of two or more countries at the same time may represent either one of them as he may elect. However, after having represented one country in the Olympic Games, in continental or regional games, or in the World of Regional Championships, recognized by the relevant IF, he may not represent another country under certain circumstances. You have to commit.

He How he can't go to another country. Oh, right.

Well, no, he's never made- But he represented him regional.

They said regional.

Oh, you're right. They did say that.

And not to be dumb, but what's a national compared to a citizen?

I think it's like, born here or transferred from another high school. You transferred from Los Angeles.

You transferred from Los Angeles. Okay.

This is a last resort.

I transferred from Los Angeles. Your country has no gymnastics team. This is a last resort.

Wait. If you're not watching on YouTube, you're still missing out on my hilarious gesture.

Oh, okay. Well, I'm sad. I have to move on because that makes me sad for him.

If we don't, we'll just cry.

No, seriously.

Okay, let's move on to our TV recap, which is going to be a new installment here for the next 10 weeks. Every Monday, Jackson and I watching House of the Dragon. Now, you look like you're itching to share whatever take you have. So let's hear it.

I don't want to watch the show anymore. That's my take. So here's what... Let me just say. I'm watching the episode last night, and the first episode is really, really slow. And we're just catching up with everyone, where they are, what they're up to. And I expect that the first episode, and this Game of Thrones has always been a very slow show, and that's something that you have accept, but the slowness of this episode was really more boring. And I'm thinking to myself, the only reason why I'm watching this show is because of Game of Thrones and how amazing that is. Otherwise, this is just a random medieval show that I would never watch in my life, just random medieval shit. But it's a slow episode, and usually something at the end happens that's going to change the board. And here we go. Let's go, as Turdy would say. So I'm holding space, and I'm grateful again that we have this cultural moment. And this is one of the shows that my husband and I watch together. We typically don't watch a lot of the same stuff, and he's watching Chernobyl now. Thanks. Where were you four years ago?

But okay. So I'm just grateful to be a part of something, and I'm waiting for the end to get me rolling into the season. And what they did at the end, I thought, was so terrible and so unnecessary and just grotesque for grotesque's sake. I don't want to watch it anymore. I don't want to watch TV that makes me feel that way. At first, bored and then upset.

It's funny that you say that because Ben had never watched the finale from last season. So right before last night's episode, we watched the finale, which I was actually glad for, to give myself a real refresher. I had forgotten about the scene. And so to watch it back to back was actually really jarring, where Rhaenera gives birth to a stillborn, and they actually have a dead, fake baby. It's really graphic. And I remember watching last night being like, Oh. And then for the second episode, the first episode, the last thing to also have dead, murderous children energy. I don't disagree with you. It feels like a lot of that for what?

And the show isn't good enough at present to be like, Oh, well, this is just a necessary evil for the greatness of the show, because last night's episode seriously stunk otherwise, and that's the big moment. It's just so It's cheap to do the most awful thing possible. And I don't want to watch content that makes me feel like a pit, a fucking pit.

No, like stabbing a sleeping child. It's horrible. Yeah. No, not stabbing.

No, not stabbing. Sawing his head off because they're bringing the head back. They said they want his head.

Oh, yikes. It also wasn't what Damon asked. No. But that's what happened. You hire these two morons, these village idiots, and they're just going to do-Right.

And so now, yeah, now you have war. I'm sure this is Eagon's evil origin story. And now he's going to... In this episode, he seemed to be just a bubbling idiot, but not the most evil person ever.

No. And he seemed sweet at times when people from the village were like- She was like, naive.

Yeah. Why not make everyone happy? Now, if Eagon, if his name minds are being like, Egan, the evil, now we know why. And now, am I team Green? I don't know.

I'm not team Green.

But I'm not team- They're not slaying in the way that I need them to.

No. I know Reineera is currently just dealing with a lot, and she has my utmost sympathy. I also can't get a read. I had also forgotten in the final episode from last season, Damon chokes Rhaenera. They're not doing well. I do feel like Damon could end up... I don't know if he's her OTP. I think he could turn on her.

I also forgot, what was the relationship between Reineera and Christoff?

Who's Christoff?

The one that was going down on Alice. Did they have a relationship? I feel like they had a thing.

Yeah, no, by the way, for sure. I was also... Who was Reynira's kid's dad?

Her old security guard. Bodyguard. Yeah. And then he- But who was their...

Who would everyone think was their dad?

Who did she marry? Valarian. The C couple. Valarian. The Sea couple? Valerian. The Sea couple had a daughter and a son, so the son. And then, obviously, those weren't the real children. But the way that they made it whole was that Raineera's illegitimate children would marry the actual legitimate grandchildren children, and then those children would be Valerian and Targarian, so it all evens out in the end.

Yeah. And her ex-husband was a queer, yes, and she puts him on a boat and says, Go live your best life.

Yeah. Is that him? Yes, but Did he go live his best life? I thought he was killed.

I thought the family thought he died, but he actually ran away with his lover and was like, I'm giving all this up. I'm going to go live in some random place and just be myself.

Oh, I don't remember. Deuces.

I feel like the only person that knows that is Raineera. She's letting everyone think that he died because it's the only way for him to live a happy life.

Got it. I don't remember that.

Maybe I actually could be making that up.

No, there's something to do with that, but maybe he was still killed.

Somebody escapes and gives up everything to go live a peaceful life.

Yeah, maybe it was him.

I feel like it was her ex-man. Yeah. Okay, so then back to the episode, yes. Nothing really happened except for that last scene. I also wasn't understanding the rats and Eagon's wife. Are we supposed to think she's mad?

She is mad, but also a bit of a fortune teller. She has said stuff in the first season that came to fruition. So then when she said, I'm not scared of war, I'm scared of the rats, she was foreseeing that something nefarious would happen due the rats.

Then why did she give up her son? When they were like, Which is the son? Which is the son?

I don't know. She's definitely also mad, but I feel like when she was saying earlier in the episode, he's not... What if he doesn't want to be king? I feel like maybe she thought she was sparing him. But she's also not... A little nutty. Not the most sound of mind. The fact that she would just walk into Allison.

Right, right, right, right.

Also, none of these rooms have guards outside of them. You're at... Oh, I thought that was me, too. You're the royal family. You're at war. You just killed your enemy's child, and there's not guards outside of any room. Okay, sure.

When they went to the wall, ask me how long it took me to figure out who was who, because the last time we saw that son of Reneera's leaving to go talk to the Stark people. He was 11, and so much time has passed because of a strike and then whatever. He's 17 now. So handsome. I said, I'm listening to Ben. I'm like, Who is that? And there was a narrator.

Was that Jon Snow? No, the narrator was the guy on the elevator with him.

It sounded like Jon Snow. So I'm like, Is this a flashback, front phone?

I actually thought they might have changed the actor of- No.

So I watched the finale last night. I don't know if I mentioned that 10 times already. And it's totally him. He just grew up.

I think They needed a mature- Because he was a very handsome boy. And they need a more mature person anyway, if he's going to be doing big boy things. He's a father. No, I think that was his little brother. I thought that, too.

But have those girls... Has he got married yet?

No. I think they're just betrothed. I think that was the little brother because I'm pretty sure she had three kids. But then she also has kids with Damon.

No, that's where she gave birth last season.

That was her first pregnancy with Damon.

Yeah. Which is a bad... Now, when you think about it, it's a bad omen. Her and Damon are not simpatico.

You think? I feel like they are end game.

I mean, I dream of it, but I don't know. He gives bad toxic energy vibes now. Especially choking her while she was pregnant last season.

I forgot about that.

No. And being an idiot. She sent you to go do a task. You hire these two village idiots who do the wrong thing. I went, I was so ready for them to kill Amand, but I knew that they weren't going to. He's a really instrumental character right now, and they can't just keep killing everyone.

You need core characters. That character, I don't know how much more of him I can take with his purse lips. The way he talks. Djofray. No, Djofray. They're Something about the way he talks. It's like, Misifonia is how I feel, honestly. Stop it. Stop. I need to put my TV on mute and just do subtitles because he's like...

He's an incredible actor, really, because I fucking hate him.

Yeah, me too.

What else happened? Not a lot happened. I agree with you there. I'm not throwing in the towel. Neither are you, by the way.

I don't know.

No, we'll all be together this summer. We can watch it together. Ben and Zack, watch it.

We're watching it. We would never be watching the show if it wasn't for Game of Thrones. Now they're in season 2, stand on your own two feet, and I don't think that it does.

Okay, you're making a lot of assumptions after what episode.

That's just not how I want to feel after watching TV on a Sunday night, excited about a big show. I don't disagree with that. I'm not a sick person. No, you're not. So then I was like, Okay, I need a palate cleanser after this. I watched the season finale of The Valley. That's what I was up to. And that also made me so sad. So Jack and Brittany are done. Michelle and Jason are done. They're actually going through with the divorce. And Yeah, there's no turning back for them. And it's just like, I understand why the women are done. The men are not meeting the bar, but it just made me really sad, especially Michelle and Jason. They're having this final conversation, and their daughter's just in the kitchen, and they're We're talking about all this stuff. It was just really upsetting. Then Jack and Brittany are a little bit behind where Michelle and Jason, where I feel like before the show, Michelle and Jason, a year before, they were separated, and she was moving out. He beg her, I'll change. Please, please come back. I'll do whatever. And so she comes back. She's still mad at him, though.

He's trying to change. What we see of him is he seems like a decent guy, but I'm sure he was a torturer before, and she's just done with him. She can't.

Yeah, it's like an iceberg.

She's I want to feel the way about you that I used to, but I just can't. She's been trying to, but she can't. I feel like Jack and Brittany are at that place where he would have to be like, I will change. I'll do an ayahuasca trip. I'll go to therapy. I'll do this and that. Please don't leave. Then if Brittany went back, we would get the Brittany that Michelle was this season, where it's like, I already checked out from you. I don't know how to check back in. But Jacks isn't even doing that. Honestly, Brittany read him to filth in the finale. He was saying, I need to go to therapy. I'm going to go to I really need to work on myself. He's so aggressive, just yelling at her and so rude and testy. And he's talking to someone else, Jason. Are there two Jason's on the show? I don't know. He's talking to Janet's husband, and he's like, I'm going to therapy. I really need to change, man. And we're like, Yeah, come on. Jack's changed. So he's talking to Brittany, and he's like, I'm going to go to therapy, but they didn't have an appointment until next month, so I'm going next month.

And she was like, When did you call to make the appointment? He's like, Yesterday. And so she's like, For six months, I've telling you, today's the day we start filming just for this recap, because they did a six months later. We start filming, so you call the day before so you can go on TV and be like, I'm trying, man, I'm going to therapy, but you're not going to do it. And then in his confession, he goes, Yeah, I didn't go. It was too far. So I just think they are too far apart. And what Brittany said is she's woken up. I feel like for years, people would be like, How can Brittany be with Jacks? And I feel like we all thought, maybe she sees something in him, or maybe they just work, and there's stuff that we don't know. But what she's saying is, one, she's just someone who puts up with a lot, and two, she's just been asleep to it all and just accepted it. But then she had this awakening, and she can't go back. And also she just feel so much more powerful because she makes her own money.

When we went off of Van der Pol's rules, Jack fell into a hole. I stepped up. I started making more money. I was the breadwinner. I can do all of these things. I make a lot of money. I don't need him.

Yeah, that's actually really interesting because when you think about how she came onto the show and into his life, there was definitely a huge imbalance in power dynamics, money, playing a huge part of it. So yes, I can see her just ignoring everything because of that. But now it's unignorable.

That's not the case. He speaks so disrespectfully towards her. He's just Jacks, and he's always been that way. But once you see it the way we all see it, it's like, how can you live like that? And there was also this common theme in the show. And I actually... So Brittany doesn't feel well a lot of the time. Sometimes she's hung over, she gets really bad hangover. She throws up a lot when she's drinking. And then sometimes she's car sick or something. And then Jax will be like, Well, you were drinking. And she's like, Well, I had two shots. You had two bottles of alcohol. I feel like I'm a Brittany in that sense, where I don't feel well. It doesn't agree with you. It doesn't agree with me. But I literally don't drink anymore because it's I can't have one day like that. It was remind me of Nashville. Remember we went out on a boat when we had our girls trip? Everyone was drinking, have a great time. I literally had one and a half white claws. And then we went to dinner that night and I had to go home because I didn't feel well because we were on a boat and I had one and a half drinks.

If that was the reality every single time we did something, and they go out, they're really social, so it's multiple times a week. If I'm always going home because I don't feel well, that's really frustrating for Jack. A person like me shouldn't drink if that's the case. I I feel like she doesn't feel well a lot of the time because even one shot, she shouldn't have one shot then. But the way that Jack is so not compassionate towards her, and he's like, I drink two bottles of tequila. You don't see me being sick? But she's just like, she was car sick in Big Bear. That's literally me. The way she's in the room, she can't leave the room. It's a worse feeling. Not to sound like Jack, but then you shouldn't drink.

Right. People need to get to that conclusion on their own time.

Yeah, but How can you feel like that every other day? Horrible. It's so horrible. But that was just a microcosm. That's what they were fighting about. But that's not why they're breaking up. At this point, now that the bandage ripped off, I guess it's all the way off. I think they'll get divorced. I don't think they're coming back from this, especially he was with that girl at Ariana's Brother's party. It's over. And he won't change. The fake therapy, that was enough for me.

Yeah. No. And good for her for calling him out timeline-wise.

She's like, she's a different person.

And this show is actually benefiting, sadly, from their divorce. I know that that's important to both of them.

More to Jack's. I also feel like, and when we first heard that they were getting divorced, I was like, this is totally PR for the valley. What are the odds that you've been fine? But no, being on a show, and it's not even the national TV or the public or anything. It's the fact that you all of these events with cast members. It forces you to talk about your relationship. It forces you to see your relationship and see things that you might have just brushed under the rug. But if a friend sees something Jack said to you, and then we're on a show, so they need to talk about it more. It really speeds- Things you would swallow. Yeah, it just accelerates things. And so I could see how being on a show would be bad for their relationship, not even just because of producers or television, but just because you have to stay in the weeds. Whereas I think without it, you just don't harp on things like you would. But it's everyone's job to now harp on it.

Yeah, it's not healthy, especially if the relationship is a little cocked anyway.

Yeah, but I think it's just an accelerant.

Yeah. Well, love that journey for you. Well, that's that.

There was no reunion, which I feel like, why?

I feel like a lot of times, the first season of a show, they don't get a reunion. And if they do, it's a fake Watchdrap in Live one.

But it It didn't feel like a first season because it felt like really- These are seasoned pros. And it's a spin off. And also what was so interesting is Kristen pretty much gets excommunicated from the group midway into the season for just saying untrue stuff and hearing something one way and saying it another way. It's so crazy, the game of telephone that goes on in just her head alone. And the first half of the season when Kristen's doing all the drama, I couldn't follow it. I'm like, I don't care what he said, she said, me said, she said. And then when she stops getting invited to stuff, the drama becomes about the people's relationships. And that was the meat of the season. But I feel like all this superficial reality TV stuff that Kristen was doing was clouding it. And actually to a point where she was united guiding Michelle and Jason because they were saying these things about her. A common enemy. Michelle was like, weirdly, it's brought us closer together when these two people don't even like each other anymore.

Right. That's funny. Yeah.

The valley. That's the valley, guys.

And that's The Toast, you guys.

That's The Toast, you guys.

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