In therapy, we were on the same page. But then as soon as I looked at houses, you were like, No, this is not what we're talking about.

Most people don't buy a house and then two years later move.

We're not going to move unless we find the perfect house. So of course, I'm going to start looking. I just know that you are a very fast decision maker.

And aren't you thankful for that? Because I decided to marry you.

People were literally saying that they thought you had a boob job. When? Your boobs were so big from breastfeeding. Where are they at now, people? Because the milk factory is officially closed. We've decided as a family that we are not celebrating Father's Day this year. It is so sad.

Don't even say Happy Father's Day to Matt this year on the 16th. Don't even think about it. How do you feel that we just got out our very last frozen bag of breast milk to give to our son? Sad. The stash is gone, which is insane because you had the mother load of milk when we started this journey off.

I know. I have a problem. When I first had a baby, I did everything that That's what the lactation people say to do to not have oversupply in the beginning, and I have oversupply. And so I have to relieve it in some way. That's all through the Haka. It's not like I'm doing additional pumps. Yeah. And I had like, How many ounces do you think I had in that defreeze. Oh, gosh. Probably close to 2000.

Yeah, you had so much milk. Oh, my gosh. It was like we just went to a farm and gathered a bunch of cow milk and just brought home and froze it.

Think about how big my utters got. Those boobies were.

They were pretty big. They were so much. It's honestly insane. When I see photos auto-generated on my phone, I'm like, holy frick. I forgot they got to be that size. Do you feel sad? Hey, it was a fun time. It was a fun party. But I love them now. They're so great. Imagine I had those, but with the slimmed down body I have now, it would have just been overwhelming.

It would have probably created so many issues. Bad posture, for one. People were literally saying that they thought you had a boob job. I don't understand why people on the Internet always have to comment on other people's bodies, but people literally thought that you had a boob job.

When? When your boobs were so big from breastfeeding. Where are they at now, people? Where are the people that think that I have work done? They're real quiet because the milk factory is officially closed.

We've gone right. It's so sad, though, too.

It's like, I don't even think I could...

Here's the thing. The only reason I feel somewhat peace about ending breastfeeding is because I feel like I really gave it my all. And if I was still producing enough milk, I probably would still be out there at my pump still. You know what I mean? When is your last day? Do you have an official day in the calendar? I'm trying to make it to... He's nine months. Oh, so you have four Four more days. Yeah, but I think I might run out of milk in the meantime. You're worried you won't be able to pump? I'm pumping barely nothing.

Have you looked into a certain formula that you want to use? I've been talking around.

I've been in denial. I don't know why.

It's just a mental block. I think it's so funny.

But it does sound fun to just shake up a bottle. Don't you agree? Like a little Martini?

Yeah. I think it's funny when you bring up this conversation with your mom because she gets offended because she- Yeah, she only did formula. Sheuela fed you and your brother.

And so I think she gets offended thinking that you're saying she was a bad mom. I know she does. Or not breastfeeding. She's ruthless. She's just like, What's the big deal?

I don't get it. She's like, So did you think I did it?

And I'm like, Okay.

That's the only I'm saying that she is that way, too, though. Because she's the most... She does not insert her own opinions or anything. With us, parenting, she totally respects what we want to do. I don't know.

They're great with that stuff. But that's the only thing where she's like, What's the big deal. And not in a really serious way. And I'll be honest, formula feeding, if we would have switched to that a long time ago, that would have been a lot easier on me. But that wasn't my decision to make. So I just was like, You do your thing. So I'm honestly excited for this new journey. We've never been formula parents. I know. For three months, we're going to have formula.

But then here's the other thing. Our baby doesn't even really like milk anymore. Both of our kids were like this. As soon as they got Got to try solid food, they were like, screw this. Milk. Give me a cheeseburger. He loves pancakes, eggs, really any breakfast food. Fruit, any food in general.

He was eating ground beef last night. What is it with our kids and bananas? Banana, cottage cheese. Cheese, cheese in general. He'll just eat whatever you put in front of him, which is scary, though, because some of the things we put in front of him are not edible.

Yeah, I about panicked. He's trying to eat rocks.

I'm pretty sure he was trying to eat a feather or something.

That's disgusting. I know.

I'm going to hope that it was just a fuzzy little puff ball from a flower or something. I don't know. Any parent listening to this, a baby and toddler, knows.

You do the best you can, but things just end up in their mouths. You're like, How did you even get that? Where'd that come from? They will find things in the craziest crevices. It's insane. You just have to make sure that you don't have... We've been really adamant about making sure there's never batteries on the floor.

Oh, no batteries at all. I know. Well, if the toy even takes those batteries, I do not let that in our house. I had to change our smoke detectors in our house.

They're freaking going off at four o'clock in the morning. And then the next day, I went and changed the batteries out, and you were like, Hey, a reminder about the battery.

So I put them away immediately. But it's scary. Well, the fact is that those big ones are pretty much pretty safe.

I don't think they're going to swallow that huge of a battery. That's true. Yeah, those are massive. But it's just those little button batteries. Oh, those scare me.

Why do they even make those? I agree. If little kids are swallowing those, they should never even make those. Well, it just makes no sense. It gails them instantly.

That's so scary. Oh, my gosh.

It's literally terrifying.

So we will not allow those in our house. It's scary, though, because you can't monitor everything.

Back to the whole thing about our kids just putting stuff in their mouth, the most random stuff. I think as a parent, if you are too overprotective of your kid, that hurts them.

And then if you're too underprotective, that hurts them, too. I think you need to find a happy medium, right? Where do you think we lie? I think we do a pretty good job. I really do. I think we found a good medium where they sometimes do stupid stuff and fall and bonk their head, and it's sad. But then at the same time, kids get hurt and they learn from their mistakes. Oh, Griffin falls on the ground and runs into things literally on purpose. Yesterday, he straight up... He wanted to run into a wall, just started sprinting full speed, ran into a wall. And the woman I was with was like, Oh, my.

She's trying to help him. I'm like, He He's fine. He just did that on purpose. And he just gets back up and goes, whoa. My favorite is when he'll be sad, and then we'll distract him for a second and be like, Griffin, would you like to hold your zebra toy or your lion? And he totally forgets in that moment because he's listening to me, totally forgets that he's sad.

And then five seconds later, he remembers that he was sad. And then boom, back to full scale cry. Yeah. But he doesn't really cry because he gets hurt as much. It's more like he's starting to develop opinions on what he wants to do what he doesn't want to do. He's very opinionated. He's sitting in his high chair, he does not want to do that.

He has to stand and eat. Yeah. Or he wants to sit at the big table with us. Yeah. Way cooler to stand and eat your food. But then he just gets down and he doesn't even end up eating.

Oh, my. Yeah.

I will tell you, though, I did not want to start this podcast because he came in here and just gave me a hug and wouldn't let go.

And he was just eating a chip. And my heart was a complete- He loves hugs and cuddles. Melted puddle of love. That's sweet. They're the best. Yeah. So we got to get formula. Honestly, we might need to get it soon. We have some in our pantry.

Are we going to use that formula? How does formula even work? Is all formula standard? Do we need to get a specialty one?

Because the formula that we got was given to us when we left the hospital in case we needed it. Or no, it was from the pediatrician. Yeah. I think we're supposed to try to use... See, this is the whole world. I don't know because I hear things about GOAT formula.

I hear European formulas are better. I hear... I don't know. Here's the thing I know is that I know that our kid is not going to be too particular. Should we get one of those formula Keurig? You know how our friends have that one where it makes the- No.

He's only doing three bottles a day anyway. But I thought that was sick.

How it has the warm water and then it shakes it up with the powder.

Yeah, it just seems wasteful since we're only going to use it for three months and he's only three bottles a day.

Pretty soon, he's going to only be doing two bottles a day. That is pretty crazy to think about. I literally tried a pump, and it's just Maybe barely two ounces for the whole day. And I know the things I could do to try to... I could take supplements. I could drink a crap ton of like, coconut water. I could make little lactation bites, and I could pump a lot more frequently. I'm just gotten to that point where I'm like, I don't want to do what it's going to take. And a little bit of formula is not going to kill him. Well, he's not even finishing his bottles. He leaves so many bottles unfinished because he- Kills me. He prefers to eat solid food.

Yeah. So he's not going to be getting a lot of formula. And also, we are going to be traveling coming up.

And I was like, Here's the thing. I don't think that I have it in me to bring that pump with me on one more trip and bring a freezer bag and worry about all that stuff for one more trip, especially since we're going to be all over the place for this upcoming trip. I'm like, I don't think I have it in me anymore. And I think that I need to wave my white flag with this. And also, Oh, yeah? What's up? Just visually, they don't look like they have milk anymore. They look like they got- I think they look pretty awesome. No, you told me the other day. I was like, Matt- No, you were asking me which boob was bigger than the other one, and I got it I got it wrong. I got it wrong.

I thought I really had to study them because I could tell they were different sizes. You really had to study. But I don't know. My eyes were playing tricks on me, I guess. But get this.

But then I was like, But Matt, they're uneven. You're in one of those phases where you're just focused on something a while ago, they were like, Yeah, they're super uneven. It's pretty funny. And I was like, Matt, that's not nice.

No, you were laughing. And then I was, I don't know. I didn't mean it in a negative way or anything. Well, I guess if you couldn't tell which one was bigger and which one was smaller It's not that noticeable. So we are about to travel for a wedding for the first time with our kids. And we've never done a wedding before with our children. I've been to weddings since we've had our children. I actually went to some weddings while you were pregnant Griffin.

Yeah, I haven't been to any weddings for years.

But this will be fun to do one with our children. My cousin is actually getting married, and so we're going to go back to Missouri, be at the wedding, be with my extended family. It'll be so nice to see everybody. And Griffin is the ring bear.

How do you feel about that? Oh, my gosh. My heart is literally a puddle at the thought of Griffin. His little outfit. This will be our proudest moment yet. I'm excited. He has his little suit. It's getting hemmed. I got his little tiny dress socks and shoes, his little leather belt.

You know what I just thought of? I saw this TikTok a couple of months back, and it was somebody who decided to have flower boys instead of a flower girl after their wedding. But no, it wasn't cute. It was funny because it was like, grown men. And they had a Fanny pack with rose petals in it, and they walked down with the most... I don't know. It was like hip hop playing, and they were just going around tossing the flowers. It was funny. See, that's not my vibe.

You had to have seen the TikTok. I think the ceremony can be the serious time, and then you can do all that fun stuff in the reception. I don't know.

It was pretty funny.

I also saw someone made their grandmas be the flower girls.

That's sweet. I love it when people switch it up. When people do something different, I'm all for it.

It's fun just getting as many people involved in the wedding as possible because, I don't know, it makes them feel more a part of it.

Which look, I respect my cousin wanting to do things traditionally having our son be the ring bear because that's cute. We get to see our son be a ring bear.

It's going to be so freaking cute. Do you think he's going to walk down the aisle, actually?

I think maybe if I... I think you'll need to be at the end of the aisle, and I'll be the one with him sending him off, and I think he'll see you and walk to you because he's definitely a mama's boy right now. And so if he's going to want to stay with any one of us, it's going to be you. You're his comfort.

The two girls that he's going to... There's two flower girls, and they're older, so they're for sure going to make it down the aisle. And if he's with them, we just have to get them. I think this is the key. At the rehearsal, in the rehearsal dinner, we get them to mingle, become friends, and then he'll do whatever they say.

Maybe we need to have a cookie waiting for him at the end. Maybe if you hold up the cookie and wave it in the air, he'll know.

I don't want to be distracting from the wedding.

But maybe if he knows, if I'm like, Griffin, mama has a cookie for you. Go get the cookie. Then he'll know to go to you.

Are Are they actually going to give him the ring?

I don't think they actually do the ring.

I think I'm going to advise against that.

I think usually what they do is they give the kids fake rings. That way, they don't lose them. Because that's a lot of money to give a two-year-old.

Yeah, I don't think that Griffin- He won't even be two.

He'll be one.

He's literally going to be one. He's pretty young for this. That's the thing. It's going to be adorable, but it's going to be like, I don't know. I think his odds are 60, 40 of making it down the aisle. He's probably just going to randomly just go, Yay.

I'm doing.

That's cute. That's all fine. And here's the thing, even if he doesn't make it, it's not a big deal because it's just sweet that he's a part of it. But I'm not nervous. I'm more so just nervous about the fact that we're going to be in a hotel. The kids are going to be totally out of their routines. How are they going to get naps? How are we going to find food? We're going to have just started formula. What's that going to be like? Can you microwave formula? How does that... I don't even know. I'm seeing the pediatrician on Friday, so I'm going to ask her all these questions and be prepared. But I'm a I'm a little sketched out about all the logistics of flying back and then driving 2 hours, staying in a hotel, attending various events that go late into the night. Oh, my gosh. I want to be chill, but I'm also like, wow, logistically, this is going to be a little bit challenging.

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I know. My whole Instagram feed is formula breastfeeding babies.

That is so funny how yours becomes that. Mine is not that at all. Mine is all just music because that's what I'm interested in. And so that makes sense that you're getting formula videos and stuff.

Yeah, but I don't really scroll on Instagram anymore, so I need to- You scroll on Facebook reels.

I try not to. My brother does. He sent me a Facebook reel the other day. Oh, no. I thought that was funny.

You're going to have to give him a brief for that.

Yeah.

Yeah. So we're going to ask the pediatrician about formula. I'm sure they know a lot about it, and we'll figure it out, and it'll be fun. It's just a new little thing.

What is so weird is you're not supposed to give your baby whole milk or just milk in general, but they can have yogurt and they can have cottage cheese. So I don't understand the science behind that. I know there's a reason. I believe our health care system and nutritionists and all that, but I don't understand how those things would be so different because it's literally the same thing.

Maybe it's just not as nutritional.

I mean, isn't yogurt just milk that's been processed in a way to turn it into- I know, but they're going to be- Because you used to make Greek yogurt out of milk. You would just get a gallon of milk and you would create Greek yogurt out of the milk?

Don't ask me these questions because I've always wanted the same thing. I don't get it. I don't get it either. I'll just lean on our sister-in-law because she's become an expert at formula recently. She has that little glass bottle that she can just heat it up in the bottle and then she puts the powder and it's going to be...

What are you going to do with all your time that you're going to get back?

I'm probably just going to end up reading because the only time I pump now is at night anyway, so that's a little bit more reading time for me. Other thing is that I'm curious as to see how my body changes when I'm totally done breastfeeding and also not pregnant this time because people say that you hang on to more fat. I'm not a scientist, this could be wrong, but I was told this, that your body might hang on to more fat when you're breastfeeding because you need it to create the milk because milk, there's fat in it. So I'm wondering if it changes the way I look.

Did you know that I've gained weight? No, I did not. So I was about 195, like two months ago. We're throwing out numbers now. Yeah. And now I weigh about 204, so I've gained about 10 pounds. It's partially good and partially bad. Because at first, I was eating a lot, lifting heavy in the gym, so I'm pretty sure most of that was muscle. But now I think I've probably put on more fat than I've been wanting to put on, and I'm getting a little bit of a boiler.

Just a little bit. A boiler? Just a little boiler going on.

You do not have a boiler. Just like a slight dad bod coming out. No, you don't. So I think I need to lay off the crumble cookies, lay off the Abby Howard cookies. That is an issue in our household. I absolutely love your cooking. I love your baking. You're so talented.

It's my love language.

But it is so hard for me when you make 24 fresh baked chocolate chip cookies for me not to eat them all. And I'll admit it, I have a self-control problem whenever I'm around any dessert. It's just like it needs to go into my mouth. I don't know how you can make 24 cookies and be like, Okay, I'll just eat one. How?

I don't feel... I don't understand you, honestly. I'm like, How could I eat that many cookies?

To me, that's making myself dinner and then just taking a bite of the dinner and be like, okay- You know what this is telling me? I'm quelched.

Can I psychoanalyze you? Or whatever.

What?

This is telling me that you have the wrong mindset around dessert.

Really? Okay, what should it be?

I feel like you're viewing dessert as bad. And so then once you've gone, done something bad, you're like, I might as well just keep being bad. Whereas for me, I view dessert as like, oh, I've eaten my food, but I have a little sweet tooth. I'm full, but this is something that would make me feel satisfied. And so then I satisfy the sweet tooth, and then I'm Okay, that was great. I deserved that. And then I'm like, okay, that was great. I deserved that. And then I'm like, anything more would be gluttonous.

And look, I can't just blame other people for my dessert problem. But I will say, I love baking. When we lived in Hawaii, We never had dessert in the house. You didn't really bake very much. So I didn't consume much dessert at all when we lived in Hawaii. My dessert was probably once a week. We'd go and get an acai bowl, which that is made with fruit, but there's There's sugar. There's other stuff in there, too.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure those aren't healthy.

Yeah, I don't know. But basically, I'd only have dessert if we went out and bought dessert. And then I could eat a lot of it. If I wanted to eat a massive shake- Are you telling me you want me to portion control you? I don't know. I guess I need to figure out some way for me to not eat as much dessert as I am now because I think I don't want to develop that habit. I know that eating that much sugar just isn't good for me. And it used to work in the past because we just didn't have as much dessert in our house. But now that I feel like it's always there, I just find myself grabbing cookies every time I pass through the kitchen, and I know I shouldn't do that.

Yeah, well, it's fun for me to bake. It's my Maybe you actually need to leave the house when you bake. Yeah, you were asking me recently, what are your hobbies? I was like, I don't have any. I do, too. I love to bake. I love to read. I like to work out.

Yeah, I would say my top two hobbies are probably making music and working out.

Wait, tell me about this music video that I'm hired to do. By the way, am I getting paid to do this?

We can talk about that off camera.

No, I don't need to be paid.

But no, I have been dreaming of making a music video that tells a full story. And I think it's really cool when a music video isn't just a performance video, where it's not just- This is my acting debut? Actually, yeah. We'll both be acting in it. But essentially, the idea for the music video is the movie Up. I found myself bawling my eyes out when we watched Up six months ago. Yeah, and you never cry. Seeing the passing of time and seeing how beautiful life is and all the changes. And then you see the old man, and then his wife dies, and he's alone in the house by himself. It's so, so sad. And so we're going to do a music video inspired by that movie, by that scene where you get to see the progression of his life. And so I thought, what better way to tell that story of appreciating every moment of life than to do a music video to my song I like right now, which actually is about to hit a million streams on Spotify. By the time this episode is out, it'll probably be at a million streams. So I'm super excited about that.

But I just love that song because it's such a great reminder of why we should just cherish each and every moment. Rather than looking to the past or looking to the future, I actually just soak in the moment of Griffin coming and giving me a hug right before we started recording this episode and just fully being present in that and fully loving it. And so that's what the song is about. And so I think we're actually hiring an old man to play an older version of me in the music video, and then we'll get to play the current versions of ourselves. And I think we'll even have our kids have some cameos in the music video where it's us in the house together. We're going to fly to LA, though, to do this music video because the producer that I'm talking to who's going to run the whole music video shoot, he has contacts of cinematographers and editors and people that have made legit music videos because I'm a storyteller. I'm an editor, but I've never made a full on music video. So he knows what to do.

That's going to be really legit.

Yeah. I'm excited. Are you excited to act?

I just found out about this, but I'm very excited.

I'm I'm excited, too. I suck at acting, so I need to get some pointers from you because you're really good at it. I'll try my best.

No, I'm excited. I got to get in some lessons or something.

No, you don't need lessons.

You're really good. This will be fun. Yeah. I'm just wondering when this is going to happen because we have literally so much to do.

I know. We have a busy month coming up, so we'll just have to sneak it in. Yikes.

Yeah, we have a lot coming up, which I love. I love having plans and being busy, and it's all fun stuff. So it'll be really good.

Also, we have some exciting podcast guests coming up. We've been having so much fun doing these guest episodes and interviewing people like Dr. Mike, Dr. Amen, having Disney stars on our podcast. Who would have thought that would be what we'd be doing? So it's been a lot of fun doing all that.

It's so crazy.

Yeah.

So cool. Yeah, we have some exciting ones coming up. Oh, yeah.

Oh, for sure.

Back on the wedding topic, Yeah. How do you feel about people bringing kids to weddings?

I welcome it with open arms.

Really? Yeah. It's a big controversy because a lot of people say that it is extremely disrespectful to bring children to a wedding. Why?

That's like saying you can't bring your child on a plane.

There's a whole debate because they're like, It's your one day. You don't need kids ruining it.

Kids are the stars of the show. Kids break dance in the middle of the dance floor, and it's so much fun. It makes the wedding better. You can see the old people on the dance floor who are near the end of their life and you get to see the kids who are at the beginning of their life. And it's just this beautiful picture of what life is.

Matt, you always give me existential crises. Sorry. The end of their life, the beginning of their life. No, people literally will say on their wedding invite, So you cannot But children are absolutely not allowed.

That's actually a thing. Yeah. No way. I mean, I guess people could do an adult-only wedding. I guess that could be a thing. But that's sad. I think it's sweet to have kids at the wedding. We invited the kids that we used to babysit in college to our wedding, and they tore up the dance floor. It was so cute. I know.

Yeah, I have mixed feelings about it. I understand that if you're trying to have a black-tie formal wedding, kids are not going to be able to keep that same formal standard. They might need chicken nuggets, and then they might make a mess. They might be loud. But on the flip side of that, is it about how elegant and classy your wedding can possibly be, or is it about having the people there that mean so much to you? And maybe you're putting them in a really tough position by having... That people are traveling into your wedding, they have kids. They don't want to leave their kids for the whole days that they're gone, but they also don't want to find random childcare in a place that they don't live. You're putting people with kids in a tough position where maybe They might not want to come at all because it's just too difficult to figure out a child care that they trust. So then I'm like, Is it really worth it then at that point to put people in that position? So I don't know. I see both sides.

Yeah. I mean, at the end of the day, it's your wedding. You can decide what you want to So I guess if you want to let people know in advance that it's adults only, I guess that would be okay.

Other rules that have been around weddings, no one can wear white because- See, I get that one. I feel like that's understood. I'm like, Okay, I get that. I personally wouldn't really care. I mean, I was wearing a bald gown. I was going to stand out as a bride, no matter what. It's hard because it's like you're allowed to make your own decisions. It's your wedding, whatever. But I feel like people are getting a little demanding And then we have a conversation. And then we have a conversation. And then we have a conversation. And then we have a conversation. And then we have a conversation.

Should we talk about the house? Do you want to bring this conversation up? We got into a slight argument last time we had this conversation.

Yeah. So this seems like a great place. Let's just publicly argue about it.

Okay. We're going to publicly argue in front of you guys now. So welcome back to the show.

Okay. No, I don't want to argue. I want to find a common ground. You give your part.

No, I was thinking that you should start. Okay, I'll start. You start. Talk to me about why you want to move and sell our house and buy a new one.

I am a mother that is trying to look far into the future for my children and the lives that I want them to have as they grow up. It's a very formative time for them. That's good. I want them to be surrounded by their peers. I want them to be surrounded by opportunities for them to just find what they're passionate about and just get involved. I want to be in an area that I feel very safe. While we want to homeschool our kids when they're young, the fact is that by the time they get to middle school and high school, I see them being involved in public schools, and I want there to be good public schools for them to attend. I don't want to put them in private school. And in general, I want to be in a place that I feel safe to go to the grocery store, even in the evening by myself. I want to be around restaurants for us to go on fun dates and not have to drive super far. So should I continue to add my list reasons why. Oh, I also see my parents living with us long term, which I'm surprised about.

Wait, you're actually- I'm kidding. I was like, Wait, we've actually talked about this a lot off camera and in private. And I want them to have a place where they feel like they can have their own space within the house that we don't need to have our stuff bleed into. And I want to make it comfortable for them in the long term. And that's some of my reasons.

So here's my- I want a big backyard for our kids to roam like wild animals. So here's my thing. If we just had a money tree, I would 1 million... I'd be like, Yeah, let's move tomorrow. Let's sell our house. Let's move tomorrow. If we just had a money tree in the backyard, and it's just like money is not an issue because homes are very expensive, especially in today's economy. Homes are expensive. The real estate in Arizona is not nearly as bad as California, not nearly as bad as Hawaii, where we used to live. But it's still pricey, especially if you want to buy a house that has room for a guest bedroom, an office, our children's bedrooms, your parents to live with us. So we're not talking about just a two bedroom house. We're talking about a five bedroom, honestly, is what we're talking about. And so, yeah, we live in an area where the real estate was more affordable, so we were able to buy a larger house to accommodate our growing family and our large family. But I think my fear is like, I've read a lot of finance books about investments and all that stuff.

And one of the first things you're told is your primary residence is not an investment, which obviously we've had these conversations and stuff. But I guess my fear just comes from this, I just want our family to flourish. And And I want all those things for our kids, but then I worry about doing it too soon in case of there being, I don't know, a money issue or something.

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Back to the episode.

I appreciate you being very diligent about our finances and being wise with our money and just caring about that. I appreciate that. And I feel like when I hear you, I hear that we have a lot of the same goals and visions for the future.

And I appreciate you wanting to do things that are going to set our kids up for success. I appreciate you looking into the school systems that are going to be good for them. I appreciate you knowing where the safest areas are for our kids to grow up in because we want our kids to be safe. I don't want them to be in danger. I would love for them to just go out and play at the park with their friends and us not to have to be there every second because we know that they'll be safe. So I don't know.

I just I appreciate that. There's a lot of young families where I'm like, I want to just be around a lot of young families because that's who we'd be friends with. That's who our kids would be friends with.

I view our job, which is like, this is, I guess, our job. I view social media how I think some athletes should view professional sports. It's like, if you get a two-year contract to play in the NHL or the NFL, a lot of these athletes get chewed up and spit out in a year. And so you can make decent money for a year or two, and then you're out. And if you spend all that money, the money is gone. And so with the social media stuff, I just want to be smart with our investments, with our savings, because Who knows? Everything TikTok could get completely banned. We've been doing so many TikTok deals. What if they just delete TikTok? That's legit a threat. We're recording this episode in advance. Who knows? By the time this episode comes out, maybe TikTok is gone, right?

Advertisers are still going to want to advertise on social media. It's not like we don't have a presence on other ones. They're just going to move their funds to other platforms. I don't know. I mean, I totally appreciate you wanting to be wise with our money. And so I want to find a timeline that is comfortable for both of us. But I'm hoping that you can compromise a little bit more on your timeline.

I think what scared me a little bit is at dinner. Was it last night? Yeah. That you said that you were eyeing moving in March- The fall. In the fall, which we're in May right now. The fall starts in September. So that's literally four months, which to me, I'm like, Oh, frick. That is not that far away because I'm down to move at some point. I just know we just bought this house. I don't want to do anything dumb. And I'm not saying at all that moving or buying a house right now is dumb. I just know if you look at how much closing costs are on a house, it's ridiculous. The fees and expenses that you pay out to realtors and all these different, the title company and all these people, it's insane. The fees get really high. And so you're Basically just throwing money away.

I'm throwing my time away right now, driving so far to go place with our kids every single day. And that's valuable, too. I literally am constantly driving in the car with them, which is just like, I will continue to do it because I know that it's important for them to get out of the house and be around other kids and find good activities. Our kids go crazy inside the house. They have to have an outing every single day. And so I'll continue to do it, but I'm just really excited for a day where I can drive 10 minutes and be somewhere and not 40 minutes. And I know that there's places closer to us, but there's just not a lot. And I think that anyone in this neighborhood would tell you the same thing. So there's that. And I think that we both understand each other, and that's what's important. I just know that I am so quick to compromise. And this is something that's really important to me, actually. So I'm like, I hope that we can find a middle ground sooner than two years.

Yeah. I think from my perspective, since you found the neighborhood and the house that we live in, it initially came as a shock to me when you were like, now I want to move because- Well, Matt, like I've explained to you, when we moved here, we were moving from out of state.

We were about to have a baby. I had an urge to be settled and get things done because I wanted to have a place to bring our baby home, too. And we were in a studio apartment downtown. I was like, That pushes our timeline. And Also, I think this neighborhood was perfect for us at that point. This was perfect for us. But since then, we've had two babies, invited my parents into our house, and so many other career changes have also happened. So So I think that while it was great for that period of time, and it's like, while two years doesn't seem... It's been over two years, while it doesn't seem like a long time to live in the house, big life circumstances considered, it's really not as crazy as it sounds.

I just thought of a really good analogy to describe her situation. Is it okay if I tell it to you? Okay. Because you make more money than me, Abby, it's almost as if, let's pretend you had some distant relative that passed and they were loaded, and then they gave their money to their descendants, and then who ended up getting a solid chunk of money. I feel like that's the situation that we fell into with the social media. So it's like, Could we go and buy a house right now? Yes. But would that be the best use of that money for our family. You know what I'm saying?

It's like that. I would argue, yes.

And then me over here, the financial planner, finance major, almost major, I dropped out of college before I could finish my degree. But I'm like, Hey, let's put that money and invest it so that it can grow, compound interest and do all that good stuff over time. And you're in your mommy era. So I feel like you're just like, I want to spend my money how I want.

Yeah. I'm like, If I'm going to spend it at any point in my life, I want to do it when my kids are young, since we have an opportunity to.

But then the finance guy in me is the earlier that you invest your money, the more time it has to grow. And it's like the snowball effect where the money-Time in the market beats time in the market. That's right. Did I teach you that? Tell me so many things. That's so good, babe. But yeah, it's like the snowball effect where it just compounds and compounds and compounds. And I'm pretty sure it's like your money is just working for you in the market. And that's why- We do both.

We get the house and we invest.

But what if we can't do both?

I don't think we need to do that because I'm not going to get the most expensive house we can possibly get.

And that scares me, too, because I feel like as you get older, your taste...

It's not about... It's really It's not about the way... I want the house to look nice, of course, but it's really not about that. It's more about the function of the house.

Which for me, when you said that you wanted to move in the fall, that scared the prick out of me, to be honest, because let's say we move in 2-3 years. So Griffin is three or four, okay? And then Augie would be two or three. They're not going to remember this house. If we move in 2-3 years, they're not going to remember this place. I moved when I was four. I barely remember. Like, the first house, barely. I remember that my uncle Bob broke his toe in our basement playing soccer with us kids. And that's pretty much it. That's really it. My parents apparently had a waterbed. Don't remember it. Don't remember the waterbed. I don't remember practically anything from that house. And we moved when I was four and a half. So my point is, if it's for the kids, they're not going to even remember. If we move before Griffin's four or around when he's four, the house he'll know in his head, if we always stay at that house, we'll be the next house we go into, basically.

No, I understand that. The events he can be a part of, the playgrounds you can play in, all that stuff does. It's part of the new house deal.

But I totally get you. I want our kids to be in with that group of children that they're going to potentially go to high school with or middle school with. And obviously, we'll homeschool at some point.

And that's the other thing. I want a space in our house where they can homeschool. We don't really have that right now because I think to be successful in homeschooling, you need a designated area that that's just for that so they can focus, if at all possible, because otherwise, if it's in their play room, they're going to want to play. If it's down in the kitchen, it'd be one thing if we weren't working from home like we are.

Well, okay, we did just get an office space, which is exciting. So what if we get rid of my home office and we turn that into the homeschool room? Would that be an option? Or we could turn that into the plate. That's our guest bedroom. Okay. Could we turn... We already Where is on moving at some point? Maybe we could turn this room because eventually we're going to have a new podcast space. So maybe this could be the homeschool room for the kids.

No, this is my parents' space.

Or maybe... Okay, I'm striking out.

Matt, we already agreed before filming this that we wouldn't be moving before the kids are really in school. So why are you going back and trying to make this house something that will work for that?

I don't know. Sorry. Do you have anything else you want to say about the house stuff or should we move on?

No, I think I said my piece. Okay. I feel like we have not reached resolution.

We definitely have not reached resolution. How do we- But I thought we had.

I was like, in the next couple of years- But then you said the fall yesterday. And I was like, whoa. But do you understand that within the next couple of years means the fall would be a part of that?

Oh, see, I thought when you said the next couple of years, it was like, Okay, two years from now, we're going to move.

You said when would be the minimum last night? And I said the fall, and you were pitching a fit. And I said the maximum would be two years from now.

Well, because you went and looked at houses.

Just I think that we're in a position where it's like, we're not going to move unless we find the perfect house because we have very specific criteria. And so it's like, I need to be on the lookout, know what's out there, know what price it's going for, know what neighborhoods I want to be in. So of course, I'm going to start looking.

Yeah. I just know that you are a very fast decision maker. And so if you found a house next week- And aren't you thankful for that?

Because I decided to marry you very quickly.

And I suck at making quick decisions. So I am thankful for But one area where it is a little freaky is buying a house. Oh, my gosh.

Abby, this was the only house- I've been only thinking about this for a long time.

Here's the thing. We went to go look at engagement rings. Very first engagement ring you saw. Boom.

Are you going to hold that against me? Also, why are we doing a whole podcast with a pair of your socks sitting next to us?

Oh, I forgot that my socks were right there. I've been without my socks this whole entire episode. I should put on my socks.

Did you do that on purpose?

No. Why would I do that on purpose?

Because that's something you do. So people would comment about your feet.

That sounds so weird. And no, I would not do that. You are so weird. If I was trying to do a funny joke, maybe.

I don't know. This conversation about houses is boring me now.

Is it freaking you out? Maybe we should save- No, it's not freaking me out. We could save it for therapy. We could talk about it with our therapist. We did.

And then in therapy, we were on the same page. But then as soon as I looked at houses, you were like, No, this is not what we're talking about. And I'm like, No, that's actually not true. You're gaslighting me. Let's ask Karen.

Her name's Karen?

Yes, it's Karen. Okay. Let's go ask Karen. I was going to say her last name, but I don't think that's probably wrong.

Let's go ask Karen. I feel so great talking with Karen.

I know. Karen thought that we graduated from marriage counseling. I know. And then, look, we'll come back to her with another whammy. We had another fight about the house.

Well, it's funny. I think with marriage counseling, is you just bring up all your beef in the counseling session because then it's a safe place to talk about it all.

Yeah, that's true.

Which I love.

Well, then it doesn't get ugly because you're like, there's a counselor here.

And Karen's just there to keep the peace. And she's like, Abby, how do you feel? Matt, how do you feel? You know? Yeah. Yeah.

So maybe we'll just have to take this back to counseling to revisit it.

Okay.

Just unpack it like, Matt, what scares you about selling the house? Yes, I know you're talking about finances, but really, I think it's more of a control thing.

It's not a control thing. I'm just kidding. I think for me, I'm just still a little... Most people don't buy a house and then two years later, move. Most people.

The fact that you say this is so agitating because you don't do anything like most people, Matt Howard.

I am very different.

You're right. You're always like, I'm going to be an artist. And then I'm like, I just want to live in this specific city.

And that is totally valid. It's my dream. I know that's important to you, and we're going to make that happen.

Yeah, but the timing of making that happen is what I'm like. Because you'll tell me things forever and ever.

But again, like where- The squey wheel gets the grease. But where we're at, right? This was the very first house that we looked at and we bought it.

Oh, my gosh. And it's been great. I love this house.

And the house that we went and toured back in December, which we got into a really big fight about, you wanted to put in an offer on it.

I still wish that that house was the one we could... That's just a specific one that's just not going to come up again. I still really feel sad about that. So it's not like I'm like, Oh, yeah, I was trying to act too fast.

Where's Karen when you need her? Karen?

No, I'm not mad at you.

Maybe Karen could be our safe word. If a fight is getting into a spot where it's no longer a healthy conversation, we could just be like, Karen.

Is that like, yes, I'm really good at knowing how I feel and why I feel that way. I'm not. But you're the most stubborn person in the world. Abby, You are more stubborn. And you say that about me, and that's literally not true. Ask so many people that are close with us, Matt Howard.

You are more stubborn than me. Oh, my. You don't think you are?

Not in the slightest, Matt. I literally am like this, bend, bend over backwards. What needs to happen, I'll do it. Which I love that about me. I like that I can be accommodating. But sometimes I'm like, okay, if he doesn't realize I'm accommodating to him, I'm going to get a little bit more resentful.

And look, marriage is all about give and take, and it's never going to be 50/50, right? But if it was my decision, we would have never left Hawaii. I became a surfaholic. I love surfing. I felt at peace with the sea turtles. It was spiritual out there in the water, okay? Surfing, watching the rainbows. I don't even want to talk about it. It makes me so sad I'm not there. But I knew how important it was for you to be closer to your family, and so we moved here. And so I think as long as we're always keeping the conversation going about your needs and my needs and finding common ground, and it's never going to be 50/50. There's going to be times where You make a decision that I, quite honestly, don't like and vice versa. But there has to be give and take in marriage, and you're not always going to get things exactly the way that you want them. And transparently, I don't know if it was It's up to me if we would ever leave our current neighborhood in our current house because I love the area that we're in. But I know that it's important for you to be in an area that has better schools and has more kid activities Because you don't leave the house.

I do. You would think this differently. I go out in nature with the kids, which is my special thing with them, is I take the kids on hikes and I take them on bike rides, and we get to ride around the neighborhood and go play at the playground in our neighborhood. And that's all the stuff that I do when I'm with the kids and you're cooking dinner and stuff like that. And so we have different wants and desires, and that's okay. And I'm so thankful to Karen for helping with conflict resolution. Thank you to ZocDoc for sponsoring this portion of today's episode, because without them, I probably never would have gotten diagnosed for ADHD.

You definitely wouldn't have.

Because I never made the appointment. You had to make the appointment for me.

I actually, with your permission, contacted someone to reach out to you regarding your health via ZocDoc because it was super easy.

Abby has a theory that people with ADHD go undiagnosed because they don't actually schedule their appointment for themselves.

People are saying it's overdiagnosed. I'm like, I think it's underdiagnosed. I think the people that are really suffering from ADHD can't get themselves corralled enough to go to a doctor.

And ZocDoc made it so easy because all I had to do was download an app on my phone, do a video call with a doctor, and they just asked me questions. And that was it. It was so easy. I didn't have to drive somewhere, wait in a waiting room. It saved me a ton of time, and the appointment took 20 minutes.

Zoctoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare highly rated in-network doctors near you and instantly book appointments with them online. Zoctoc makes it super easy because it's all online and they show you a whole list of in-network doctors that you can use and be seen, sometimes even the same day. And you can do it virtually, which is great because I had to drive over 30 minutes today.

Why the fric were you not using ZocToc today?

Because I already had a doctor.

You got to get what's the time, girl. Because ZocToc is free, people. It is literally F-R-E-E free. The typical wait time to see a doctor on ZocDoc is between 24 to 72 hours. That's it. You can even score same day appointments. I use ZocDoc, and you should too. So go to zocdoc. Com/unplanned and download the ZocDoc app for free. Then Find and book a top rated doctor today. That's zocdoc, Z-O-C-D-O-C. Com/unplanned. Zocdoc. Com/unplanned. Now back to the episode. What if Karen watches our podcast?

I think that would be a violation.

Really?

Yes.

Actually? Yes. Does she need to ask us if she wants to watch her podcast? I think she would need to ask. I don't know what the rules are with that.

I think she would need to ask. I'm clueless. And I would say, I mean, sure, why not? Everyone else in the world is able to watch it if they want to. Yeah. I don't even want to get into this anymore. I'm already getting freaking irritated with you.

Really? No. I'm sorry. I love you. It's okay. I think you look really pretty with your hair up.

Thank you. I love you, too.

I will say, how do you chip nails every time you get in your- Why did you get this? Because you were talking about how you chipped your nails yesterday, and I'm like, I don't understand how you chipped your nails so much. Did you go to a different nail salon and they didn't do you guys a good of a job?

I try to stretch them as long as I can. It's expensive.

So how often do most women get their nails done?

Probably Two to- Probably two.

Probably two?

Two to three weeks. Somewhere around two weeks.

Okay. Yeah. And that's pretty common. But you get yours done what? Three weeks. Oh, every three?

And I do my toenails every six.

Wait, why are your toenails and your Fingernail is not the same color.

Because I got these done three weeks ago and those done six weeks ago. I'm due.

What's your favorite nail color right now? I don't know. What's your favorite? You know what my favorite is. That's not even a question. French Tip.

French Tip. That's not a color.

But it's just the style that I like.

I honestly like this orangey red color. It's in right now.

I will say the Chrome is cool. When you started doing Chrome, I was like, okay, I can vibe with that.

That's the funniest thing about you, Matt, is that no one else's husband really cares about their wife's nails as much as you do, which I love that you have a preference on that. I will say that I love that you're honest with me, and I love that you notice those things and have a preference, but it is funny.

What do you think about my hair growing out? Do you like it more? I went to the barber a month ago. I need to go to the barber again.

Yeah, I think it's looking good. I want you to grow it out.

I need to get it touched up before the wedding.

Yeah, well, so does Griffin.

I'm liking it a lot more. I'm realizing that really short hair, not really my thing.

Really? Yeah. I thought you were loving it.

I mean, I don't know. I look at the photos of me from right when I I did it and I'm like, eeh.

Oh, really?

Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. I love you. And I think that you look really handsome so many different ways. You can pull off a lot of different things. That is really nice. I do prefer your hair a little more grown out. I like it really short on the sides, but long on the top. I think that's what I'm realizing. And I think you need to use some texture spray because you have texture in Hawaii, but not here because it's so dry.

That's true. The dryness here is not the best for my hair.

You need a sea salt spray.

Yes, I should do that. And then going to the barber is clutch. I went to the barber for the very first time a month ago, and it did wonders for my hair.

So we've decided as a family that we are not celebrating Father's Day this year.

It is so sad. I'm so disappointed.

Not celebrating it on Father's Day.

In September.

Wait, what date is Father's Day this year?

Father's Day, it's always in June, and it's always around- Last year was June 18th, which is Matt's birthday.

So he had Father's Day and his birthday on the same day. So sad. And I will say I am disappointed in myself, but I did combine the holidays.

You did combine the two of them. It's okay, though. I mean, you were pregnant. You were uncomfortable. You were close.

We just got back from our baby moon that day. We flew in from Mexico that day. Well, we I was like, we celebrated it on the baby moon.

We skipped it, because we did the- I got you a cake from DQ. I guess we had just gotten home.

And you had our family over and grilled.

I think I grilled. Well, I grilled, but I know a lot of dads grill on their birthday. So it's whatever. But yeah, we had Father's Day- And I grew your child. You did grow my child.

All day, every day.

But Father's Day, my birthday, were the same exact day. Yeah, and I- And it was a bummer because it was like, those are two days that I- I failed.

I'm going to be honest with you, I failed you. I'm so sorry.

Hey, but you know what? It's all right. There's a lot going on. But this year, Father's Day is on the 16th of June.

Which is still only two days before your birthday. So we- Exactly. Talked about it, and we think it's best if Matt celebrates Father's Day in September.

Yeah. So we're boycotting- September 18th. We're boycotting Father's Day for the month of June and celebrating it three months after my birthday.

Yeah, we're going to make a big hoopla about it.

Because nothing goes on in September. I guess September is the month of pumpkin spice, where everyone's like, Let's go get pumpkin spice lattes. So now we're going to add in Father's Day. Yeah.

September needed new holidays anyway. Yeah.

Maybe we could... And September happens to be the month that you wanted to go buy a new house.

We'll celebrate by buying Daddy a new house. I'm never going to call you Daddy again. That's so weird.

I think that's hot. I mean, feel free to if you want. You're kidding. What?

You're one of those?

I don't know. I mean, I liked it. I call you Hot Mama.

I know, but Mama feels budgy. I'm always than mommy. I think. I'm always like, Dada sounds better than daddy.

I don't call you mommy. I feel like that would be weird to call you mommy. That reminds me of poppy.

But even daddy's just worse, though.

Daddy? Yeah. I don't know. I mean, it could be... If people are into that stuff, It could be fun, depending on the setting.

Save it for private settings.

Yeah, for private settings.

Not on this public podcast.

Yeah, of course.

Of course. So yeah, Father's Day is for us on September 18th. Don't even say Happy Father's Day to Matt this year on the 16th.

Don't even think about it.

Don't even think about it. It will not be accepted. It's like Christmas with the cranks.

Oh, yeah. It's like we're not... You pass out your cards to everybody.

No, Frosty.

Yeah. No Father's Day. People wish me a Happy Father's Day.

No, we will not be accepting that.

I'm not celebrating that this year. Actually, I'll be celebrating it in September. So just delaying it by three months. Yeah.

Well, you're going to be 26, Matt.

That is freaking me out. That is scary. 26. Doesn't that age seem so old?

No.

That seems so old.

No, because you're supposed to peak in your 30s and 40s. So we're still got a long way.

No, but when I see that someone is in their 30s, I'm like, oh, they're old. They're like a They're a real adult. And then I'll be like, oh, my gosh.

If that person is 31- Here's what we need to stop doing. Here's what we need to stop doing. Bewing aging as a bad thing. Bewing aging as a gift match. True. You've gotten to experience so many years, so many things in your life. And And you've gained wisdom through those experiences. And you've had failures, but you've also had triumphs and joys. You've laughed. You've played and gone on adventures. It's like this, we need to just rework the way we view it.

You know what it is, Abby? What? Everything since COVID has been a whirlwind. It's been a blur for me. I agree. The past four years, because of the shutdowns and staying in and everything that happened with COVID, I just don't feel like time has been the same since then. And so in some ways, I still feel like I'm 21. And then I'm like, What? I'm 25? I'm about to turn 26? I am so close to being 26. You know what this tells me?

What? You need to take more time to reflect.

That's true. I think that's good. You look really... The way you just said that was really cute. Thank you. Yeah. You looked like you were in a movie, and your eyes, they're so pretty.

I'm just thinking that you... It seems as if you have not processed life events which makes sense because it's been a lot. I for myself also think that it's been a lot. But sometimes if I just sit down with a journal and slow the thoughts in my head to the pace of what I can write, it really helps me absorb how how I'm feeling and how I'm in the moment. And then it slows me down. And it also makes me just reflect on the passing of time because then I can go back and look, oh, wow, this is what I wrote at this point. This is what I wrote at this point. And it just makes everything feel more like completely lead then. Once it's been documented, it's like, I've lived that. I've processed that. I can return to that if I choose to. I don't know. I think you need to.

Do you still journal?

Yeah, not as frequently as I once did because I don't have as much time.

I need to start journaling. I really like that idea. Because you read me journals that you wrote from four years ago, five years ago, and it was crazy. It was crazy just to see how much has changed, and it made me appreciate the past, but then also appreciate the present. So maybe that's something that I need to take up is journaling.

Maybe that'll help me- Just set yourself a small goal. Say, twice a week, I want to write one page.

Yeah.

And you'd be amazed how... I feel like it's going to be really good for you.

I think part of it, too, is we lived in I, now we live in Arizona. We haven't lived somewhere in a long time where there's seasons. And so the passing of time- That's true. The passing of time was so apparent back then because- That messes you up. Yeah, the weather would change.

We're like, oh- Well, we also had school. Exactly. And that really was like, okay, now it's summertime.

But now when you're an adult- Now it's the fall semester. Yeah. Yeah. It's not like you have your summer off, right? Like, as an adult- Time just flies. You have responsibilities. And then it feels like it speeds up. It feels like you're falling and it's just getting faster and faster as time goes on.

Actually, that's not how gravity works. What? Everything falls at the same speed.

No, there's wind resistance, honey.

What do you mean?

Like, for instance, you fall-So you're telling me it slows down? Yeah. So if someone deploys a parachute, they're going to fall slower than someone without a parachute, right? Now, they're not falling at the same speed.

The more I get away from school, the more I'm like, I don't think if you were to put a pen and paper test in front of me, I would pass it. I start to feel like, I don't know about that.

Even No, okay. Seriously, a skill that you have is you're really good with people. Really? And I think that is invaluable. You cannot teach that skill that you have with people. You can walk into a room and you're so good at speaking to others and making them smile and laugh. You're gasping up. And you can jump into a circle of women that you've never met before and be full of yourself and connect with each and every one of them. And that is something that you cannot teach.

Matt, that is literally so nice. That is so nice. Thank you. Seriously. I don't feel deserving of that, but thank you.

Well, it's just a fact. I've seen it happen.

Stop, stop, stop. I don't know what to say.

You're awesome.

No, I love you, Matt. I love you, too. I think you're very talented and you're very smart. And I'm really thankful that I have you to be financially wise.

Everyone in the comments is going to be like, Matt, you're being controlled.

No, they're not. They're going to be like, Abby, please be responsible for your money. You have children to think about. And to you, I say, I will buy my children everything. Just kidding. I do feel- This reminds me...

Sorry to interrupt. What were you going to say? No, go for it. What were you going to say? This reminds me of when I was a kid, my mom had a U. R. Special plate, and every night at dinner, someone else would get the U. R. Special plate. We'd all go around and say nice things about them.

Do you want me to say something nice about you?

We just did. You said something nice about me. Did you not know that you just did that?

I didn't even know that. Yeah, you just did. Oh, the what? That's a financially-wise thing. Well, I think so many things- You said that I was wise. I just gave you a pep talk when I was in the bathtub.

You know that's my love language, right? Words of affirmation. Yes, I do know that.

It means a lot to me. I need to work on that.

I like it. And your love language is mainly acts of service. I think so. Which every time I do a random act of service, I remember how much that means to you. I brought Abby. I went and surprised Abby with her a special Starbucks order the other day, and she was just so thrilled that I thought of her-I think that is my love language. And took... Yeah, I woke up with kids, took them to Starbucks and grabbed Abby a coffee, and you just loved that. And I knew that you'd like it, but I just forget about how little things like that mean a lot.

Yeah. You know what my new favorite thing is in the morning, having time to myself to read and be alone in the morning. That I love so much before I start my day. Because something I realized recently, I am with people every second of every day, except for when I'm sleeping, which I sleep next to you. So I'm not even alone then. And I think that I I really love that, and I thrive off of that. But I've reached the point where my tank is empty. My social tank is actually... It's not even empty. Here's the thing, because I still get energy from being around people. But I think I got to a point where I was like, I need to be alone to decompress. And I don't really have a chance to do that. Or if I do, I'm feeling guilty the whole time or feeling stressed. I think that's just the existence of a mom, especially a mom that also has to work sometimes.

You're really good, mom. Thank you.

I love my kids. And that's the other thing. I don't compare myself to other moms. Do you understand that? That's good. Because I'm like, that's great. If they're doing something with their kids that is working great, that's great for them. I'm not looking at that and being like, oh, man, I really should be doing that. I feel so bad that I am just lazy and not thoughtful in that way. I don't think that at all. I literally feel, I I don't know. I just feel, Why would we do that?

That makes me sad.

I hate when people compare themselves to other people. What?

I hate when people yell at their kids in public.

Yeah. I do try to have grace for those people because it's like, maybe we caught them at a bad time. Maybe they're at their actual wits in. That's true. That told their kids what to do over and over. But even then, it's like, we got to work against that. Because I think as soon as you yell or appear out of control, you lose all respect and trust with your children.

You see those parents at Disney World, and they'll be screaming at their child. Or when we went to Universal for your birthday, and we saw that mom yelling at her daughter.

That makes me so upset because it's like, don't go and do fun kid things if you're going to be a buzz kill the entire time. Be fun.

And then your kid's not going to want to be around you when they get older. Be nice. Kids don't forget that stuff. Oh, for sure. Parents have their moments, right? So if you mess up, every parent makes mistakes. Exactly. But if you constantly yell at your child and constantly lose your cool on your child, maybe they're not going to want to keep a relationship with you once they're older. And that's really sad.

Or they'll look back on those. It's like, Man, Disney was supposed to be fun, but I don't know, something about it. It felt stressful for me. And it's like, if your parents are out of control and so upset the whole time, then it's probably hard to enjoy yourself. And I don't know. And here's the thing. You're not going to be a perfect parent. You're going to mess up. But I think it's important is if you lose your cool and you yell at your kid, you take a breath, say, Mom needs a minute, and then model that for your kids when you need to collect yourself. I haven't gotten to that point yet because our kids are so little, but I know that's going to come. I'm not going to be naive in that way. And then afterwards say, Hey, Mom yelled, and she shouldn't have done that. It's not okay to yell at other people. It's not okay to take out your anger like that. And it's like, Can you forgive me? I think that saying you're sorry to your kids and asking their forgiveness is probably one of the most powerful things you can do as a parent, because you're humbling yourself to be an example.

And I don't know. I think that's really powerful.

Yeah.

I think it's cool. And just don't be not fun. If you're going to go do fun things, actually be fun and enjoy it with your kids.

I think it's cool, too, when parents apologize if they mess up.

Because- I just said that.

I am so sorry. Did I just completely zone out right there? I think I totally did.

I could tell in your eyes that it wasn't tracking. No, that's the zipper here.

Okay, that's theipper- I could tell in your eyes that you weren't tracking.

But Matt, what a wonderful thought. Yes, that's a great idea. I'm so sorry.

I zoned out for a second.

It's okay. Yeah. I just think, don't yell at your kids if you're going to go do a fun a kid thing. Have a kid day. Let your kids freaking go crazy. I don't know. Maybe that's bad advice. My kid goes crazy. He goes really crazy. But I love that about kids. I love that they have so much energy, and they just go into a space, and they see tape on a wall, and they want to stick it to themselves.

When you're touring a house, and then all the tape that was on the house for repairs for the maintenance guy, your kid rips it off.

That's pretty funny.

It is funny, but now they're not going to know what to repair.

They shouldn't let us come in in the first place. My God. They're hilarious. Griffin's a tornado. He's going to do whatever he's going to do. He's going to take his own track.

You're freaking hilarious.

Yeah, watch. We're going to eat our words. We're going to go to Disney with our five and six year olds, and we're going to be like, Oh, this is why parents yell at their kids. I hope not. I sure hope not. I sure hope that we can still have this same mindset, even as they get older and they are pushing our boundaries, that we can just be like, You know what? This is supposed to be a fun day.

Maybe Karen can come with us to Disney. Maybe we can just fly Karen out to Disney World to make sure that we don't yell at our children while we're at the parks. Maybe that's what people need. Maybe Disney should hire some family counselors that can show up and just keep the peace with the parents that are losing their cool. Have you seen that TikTok? The dad's like, Shut up and go to bed. Because his kids, they woke up at 5:00 AM at Disney World world. I don't know. It's just like, Parents lose their cool at Disney World for whatever reason.

Well, it makes sense. Because they're spending their- The kids are over stimulated, hot, had too much sugar, and exhausted, and so are the kids. And so then it's just a dumpster fire.

But then the parents took their one vacation week off to go to Disney, and they're just trying to actually get some shut-eye. And then their kid wakes up at 5:00 AM when he'd go to the parks.

That's so cute, though. Think about how excited they are. Yeah. Just get an extra coffee. Come on. Buckle up.

That's cute.

My parents were always so fun at Disney, so that's why I'm like, just be fun.

We're Disney adults, right?

Okay, so what? A little bit.

We love Disney. We go every year. I don't think it's a bad thing. I think it's because we're people that are unashamedly willing to embrace- The magic.

Childlike magic.

Yeah, I love that.

So I don't know if anyone has something negative to say about it, mind your business.

Thank you guys for listening to this week's episode of the Unplanned Podcast. If you haven't already followed out us on social media, you can find us on Instagram, we're on TikTok, we're on YouTube, Facebook. I think we're even on Twitter. I'm pretty sure we freaking- Yeah, we need some of our own people to be viewing our clips because sometimes they just go out to the masses, and we just need our own people to be seeing those because when it goes out to the masses, they just reach a dark section of the web. Yeah, the dark web.

The dark, where they actually have ended up on the dark web.

But hey, we so appreciate you guys being here, and as always.

Love you guys.

Love you.