You're crazy.

Welcome to the Vial files.

Thank you.

How are you?

I'm good. I'm really good. I feel like I'm just now realizing, oh, shit. This summer was actually broadcasted to the entire United States and more. And when you're in there, you feel like you're just living life in a college frat house with a million of your best friends. So now being outside, it's crazy watching everything back. And it's been insane.

Yeah, I think that's one of the more fascinating things for us. Sierra has been at the cameras right at the camera while I'm having a chat. They're like, Kayler, quit looking at the cameras. Or I'd pick a wedge and I'd be like, Did you catch that? But yeah, no, it's definitely a crazy experience It's just like, I'm from a really small town as well. So all of this is just not... I'm not used to this at all. Outside of Pittsburgh? Yeah. So I live an hour away from Pittsburgh. It's the country of PA.And that's where you were living before you left to film the show.Yeah. So I just graduated with my undergrad and then moved back home with my family. Where did you go to school? And I went to a small school in PA, like 35 minutes away from where I live. Where did you study? Psychology, which He's rising for some people.Why is that?Because I'm a big cryer.No, I love that about you. We were Oh, I don't want to be too myself. I'm scared. Because obviously, while you're in there, you're thinking like, Oh, how are you going to be portrayed to the outside world? But yeah, I'm really happy with how I went about everything. I feel like in the villa, I definitely was myself. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but- I think it's a great thing.Obviously, we know that sometimes being yourself on reality TV is great. It's like we appreciate it, that other people can People online are dicks. Fans, short for fanatic. Even though they might be huge fans of you, it doesn't always feel that way because it's easy to comment something just because most people don't think you're ever going to read anything, shit like that. But what has it been like for you coming out of the villa and immersing yourself into the real world? Have you stayed offline? Are you reading stuff? I think the biggest question most people want to know is, have you watched it all back?I have not.You have not.No. I think just going from the first thing that you said in your question, I feel like as an Islander, and I'm not sure if anyone else can agree with me, but you are drawn to the negative of comments. I had someone comment, I think, on my Twitter and was like, Kayla, don't look at your Twitter thread. What did I do? Ranned a Twitter and looked at my Twitter thread. I feel like I have been having a lot of love as well. Support is absolutely insane. But I feel like I've just also... You know that comes with hate in a sense. It was such a big deal when this did become such a big show. It's such a great thing, but also bad in a way because you also have a lot of negative attention. Okay, yeah. I I haven't watched it back at all.How did you come to that decision?Maybe she just didn't have time. She just got back yesterday.Sure. Is that it? Is it just a lack of time? Yeah.I had a few days in Fiji before I returned, but actually, Peacock, you can't really download Peacock in Fiji. All you see is the edits that people are making and what's circling on TikTok. But one of my biggest comments in my comment section are Kayler, if anyone needs to watch the show, it's you. Go and watch the freaking show. I feel like I'm very nervous to watch the show, and I'd like to do it with someone like Liv or one of my girlfriends.We'll watch it with you. Yeah. Okay.That's a watch party.We got your back. That's a watch party.But yeah, I feel like I'm very nervous to watch it back. What are you most nervous about? What do you think, nick? I'm definitely the most nervous about Casa. I feel like I still have some unanswered questions at convincing myself what I want.What I want isn't often what I need. Yeah.I feel like even during Casa, you keep saying the instincts. I knew deep down that he was going to move that way in Casa.What made you think that?Just like... Fuck, I don't want to shit on Aaron right now. But I just feel like I had a feeling since I know how lovey-dovey he is and how flirty he is, I had that feeling that he was going to be like that in Casa. We had multiple conversations, which I'm sure you guys didn't see prior to Casa. I would be in the bed at night and I'd be like, I think Casa is tomorrow. I have this feeling that Casa is going to be tomorrow. You have nothing to worry about. We're open, but you have nothing to worry about all of this stuff. Then again, part of me was like, Aaron would be the last person to do that. He's my best friend. He would never want to hurt me in that way. But two, I thought that what we had was way better than, I think, what I anticipated because whenever he came back, I feel like, oh, then he had just realized he actually love for me. Unfortunately, it had to be in a way of kissing another girl and all of that stuff. I just feel like we were on two different pages before Costa, and I feel like that wasn't discussed and communicated in the best way between the two of us.I'm sure you guys seen before Costa, he was like, I'm feeling love for you. I think that, yeah, I'm sure we'll get into it, but I feel like my definition of love and his definition of love are two different things.That's going to be fair. What do you think his definition of love is?I see. I don't know. I feel like I don't know because I keep thinking about… I keep going back to Costa, and I'm sorry, but it was just such a huge experience for me on the show. Yeah, don't apologize. But I just feel like if you love someone, you don't want to kiss another girl, and you don't want to flirt with another girl, and you don't want to make another girl breakfast, and you don't want to make up a handshake that we've had together with another girl, and you don't want to ask another girl to shower with you after you beg me for weeks to shower with you. So I just feel like that's not love. And whenever I love someone, I'm very loyal and very committed to them. Since I love Erin, I wasn't going to go in the villa and go make out with Jalen. Even though, because this is after I found out about the video, I saw that he was kissing other girls and stuff. A part of me wanted to be petty and just make out with Jalen. But I also just had to be true to myself, and I couldn't do tit for tat situation.But yeah, I just feel like whenever you love someone, you don't disrespect respect them and you respect their feelings. Unfortunately, he did not during Casa.Do you think you deserve someone who loves you the same way you love them?Yes. I feel like a lot of people were even saying, Kaylee, you need to realize your worth. You need to value yourself. I do think I really deserve the best. But honestly, I just had one other relationship prior to this one. What was that like? It was very bad. I don't really have a good example of what a good love story is like and also what a good relationship is like.Yeah, but I'm going to challenge you there a little bit because you do have good instincts. You're a major in psychology. That doesn't mean necessarily that you're... But even talking to you now, again, you know what you deserve. You know how to talk about very articulately about love and feelings and things like that. I've had a lot of bad relationships before. I give relationship advice all the time, but it's not based off of my track record in terms of decisions I've made. Every time I've been in a relationship that didn't go my way her?I have. Leah and I actually left Fiji together. We went to the airport together, and the first thing I told her was the entire situation and why my friend was saying that and where that came fromwere like, Let's introduce ourselves. Let's make them feel welcome. You just watch your man be all over this girl. But you're like, You know what? No, I want to go to her and I want to make her feel welcome. That's who you are as a person.Thank you. I really appreciate that. I don't want to get lot of things like that. Yeah, it's hard. I'm not used to being in this light at all. Yeah, I feel like this opportunity has shown me so much about... I've learned so much about myself, and I know I'm just going to keep growing and learning because of this, and I think it's only going to make me stronger.I'm so sorry that you've had... It's fucked up, and it never gets easier to read hateful things about yourself, and it's not right. And it's so fucked up that people think it's okay to say that knowing you're going to see it and you're going to read it or people you love are going to see that and going to read it. But I just want you to focus on the people who do know you and care about you and love you. And all of that is such outside noise that none of it actually matters because these people flip so fucking easily. Leah or anyone can say, Oh, my God, well, I don't even like peanut butter.And It would be like, Fuck you. Are you fucking kidding?You don't like fucking peanut butter?We're done.This is how these people work. It's just like, Don't take any of this shit to heart.Your biggest fans will be the quickest to turn on you. Not because they're not fans anymore, because they're disappointed. You know what I'm saying? They're easily triggered.You win them back. Yeah. I've had a lot of my... It feels so weird even saying fans. The people who enjoyed watching me, they're like, I loved you until this moment. Now I can't fucking stand you.I'm like, beautiful. They're just, it's a projection.I just feel like what my mom says, and she's like, Just remember, the people who love you know who you are as a person, and we're not disappointed in you. Stop beating yourself up about it. I think that's what I was most concerned about is leaving here because I am so emotional. Since I wear my heart on my sleeve, I was really worried that I would take all the aftermath stuff really badly and harshly. I'm glad that I am. I'm not beating myself as much as I thought I would talk about everything. That's awesome.Well, I love talking to you. Again, I think you're going to be all right. You're a star. Thank you. We love to do this with our guests like you. We have this thing called texting office hours. Someone's about call in. They're struggling with a relationship. We offer advice as friends. You can put your psychology degree on. We learn through our mistakes. I think you're going to do great. I think you're going to offer great advice. Are you ready to do it?Let's do it. Yes.Like I always say, shavings make a pile. Habits are important, people. That's why I'm excited to talk about Noom. Noom is a psychology-based program that helps you reach your health goals, whatever your health goals are. Maybe you want more energy, maybe you want to gain muscle mass, maybe you want to lose weight. It doesn't matter. There are different ways to get healthy. But the important thing is Noom is helping you meet those health goals, whatever they are. Noom uses psychology. It also takes into account your unique biological factors, which also affect you reaching your health goals. The program helps you understand the science behind your eating choices and why you have cravings. Noom helps you build new habits for a healthier lifestyle. For me, it's all about me maintaining my current health, my current weight. I'm not as active as I used to be. I have a lot more going on with the new baby. So it's really important for me to maintain my current health that I had when I was single and had more time to work out and things like that. And a big part of that is adjusting my diet. Noom allows you to do that while still enjoying the things that you eat.It's not about having a drastic change in your diet. It's about little changes that add up to meeting your wellness goals. Noom's flexible program focuses on the progress instead of perfection, the science behind Noom. Active first-time new users lose on average of 15 pounds in 15 weeks, and 95% of customers say Noom is a good long-term solution. So if you've had a hard time meeting your wellness goals, look to Noom to help change that up. Stay focused on what's important to Youm with Noom's psychology and biology-based approach. Sign up for your new trial today at noom. Com. That's N-O-O-M. Com.And check out Noom's first ever cookbook, The Noom Kitchen, for 100 healthy and delicious recipes to promote better living. Available to buy now wherever books are sold. Based on three and a half year study, I've actively engaged Noom users with minimum starting BMI of 25. Individual results may vary. Visit our website for more information.How's it going?Hi, my name is Popy, and I'm 27 years old.How can we help Popy?I am calling in just because my mom is not excited about my wedding, and I don't know what to do.Why isn't your mom excited about your wedding?I don't know. It's a bit of a long story, but I can try and explain it as best as possible.Okay.My fiancé and I got engaged in April, and we've been planning our wedding. We went on a trip together in May and just been trying to figure out what we want to do for our venue and things like that. But prior to that, two months before, my sister got engaged, and she She's six years younger than me. And it seems like my mom is all wrapped up in her wedding and her planning and everything like that, and I don't seem to be having the same feedback. And yeah, so I'm just trying to figure out the best way to try and navigate . It seems like she's very welcoming to him, but then when he's not there, she often says things like she barely knows him, she doesn't feel close with him at all. Even though she's met his parents multiple times, he has been over a a million times to their house. They always have these big lunches or dinners, and they always want him to come over. And we've been together for almost five years at this point, so I don't understand why she seems like she doesn't know him.Does she not make an effort to ask him questions about his life or anything?She does a little bit, but it all feels very surface level and nothing more deeper than that. It's more like, how's How's your day going? How's your job? Things like that.When's your sister's wedding? When's yours?My sister's wedding is coming up at the end of August. My wedding is on June of next year.Okay. Do you think maybe part of that is just because your sister's wedding is just around the corner, or then maybe mentally your mom's like, I don't have the bandwidth for two. Then do you think maybe she'll immerse herself into yours?I do agree with that. However, I wanted to buy my wedding dress, wanted to get my venue booked, the big chunky stuff just to give some time, and then we can be excited about my sister's wedding, and then I can carry on after that. However, she wouldn't want to come to look at the venue with me. She didn't want to come to... I had a florist appointment. She didn't want to come to that. She did come to my wedding dress shopping. However, right before we went in the store, she asked what my budget was, and I told her that I talked with the bridal store before. They were super accommodating. They said there would be no issues. And she just laughed at me and said there would be no way I would find a dress for that in my budget. And then I started crying right before the bridal appointment, but managed to muster through. And I had a second appointment that she did come with, and I did find the dress that I loved. However, I guess I naively had hoped that she buy the dress, and she didn't. She didn't want to help me with it at all.However, she did for my sister's whole bridal appointment and everything. Bought it, no questions asked. Even during the appointment, had said, What if we up the budget a little bit? And requested the big veil, things like that. So while, yes, I agree that maybe she's a little overwhelmed with my sister's wedding, I just feel like I'm not getting the same experience.When You said you're not doing it the traditional way, but your sister is.What does that mean?My fiance and I are living together. My parents are fairly religious. They're not happy about that. My sister, her and her fiance, are living apart until they get married. They're getting married in a church. I wanted to get married outside, and we found this beautiful outdoor location. they're going to burn hell or some crazy shit. They justify how they treat you out of their own fear of you not doing it wrong. Or maybe it's how you look to their friends, but they don't really want to say that. So it's easier just to blame it on you not following their religious beliefs. But I think it might have to be that direct with your mom. Almost like, Hey, why aren't you... You almost make her answer the question as to why she is going about your wedding very differently than your sister's.I also think it's important to say, I need my mom right now. I need you to be my mom, and this is one of the most important experiences of my life, and I need you to be a part of it. I want you to be a part of it.You can say, I know I don't always make choices that you agree with, but I still, to Nalea's point, I want to feel like you're proud of me as a person. Lead with love. Tell your mom and dad Listen, I know I'm doing things that maybe you don't agree with, but who I am as a person, I owe to all... Whatever you do love about me, whatever I am doing that makes you proud, I owe it to you guys. You almost soften her up by, how could she be mad at you for what you're not doing when you're giving her all the credit for all the things that she does appreciate about you, which I'm sure is still a lot, even though she's not showing it. I wonder if you just say that will almost make her, we'll soften her up a little bit. At At the end of the day, though, if your mom doesn't come around, I think you just have to know in your heart that this is about you and your husband and your fiance. If your mom's going to be disappointed that you live with him before you get married, that's her problem.At the end of the day, you can't let your mom's disappointment and shame affect your wedding because you guys will get through this eventually. When? I don't know. Hopefully before your wedding, but you'll get through it. She's your mom. She loves you, you love her. But what you don't want is to make this even worse by acting as if your mom is going to make or break how much you enjoy your wedding.Yeah. No, that makes total sense. I know I've been trying to work through it already. Even with my therapist, I We've hammered this conversation hundreds of times at this point, and I'm just like, I'm having a hard time coping with it. I guess part of me was already a little fearful that she was doing this. And now that my fears are coming true, when my fiance moved in, My parents had offered to help with the move, but then instead, in the same sentence, they offered to help with the move, but then they booked a trip that they would be gone exactly the week he was moving in. So it was a little bit of a back-handed thing. And I'm just worried that something similar like that might happen leading up to the wedding. Not that they will still probably show up, I would think. But I don't know how to make myself not not care about that on my wedding. I want to be able to be free from that fear and just be excited about it with me and my fiance.I don't think you need to cope with it right now. I think you cope with it after your mom confirms your feelings and says, Yeah, you know what? I don't support you living with him, and I don't want to help you if she were to say those things. That's when I think you decide to cope with it. I think right now you just need to go to her and have this conversation of, I need you to be here for me. I need to be here, here for me like you are for my sister. I want that. I need that. You're my mom. I just don't see a world in which she denies you.Yes, I hope so. I'm going to definitely try that. I'm going to try just trying to be a little more direct and make her answer the question and maybe get some more clarity that way, and maybe that'll clear the air a little bit. I think there's a difference between your parents, skipping out on helping you move in and not coming to your wedding.No one likes to help anyone move.Me and even. Even if it is the boyfriend, they don't necessarily agree with your decision.But I do think maybe just saying, Mom, are you and dad thinking about missing my wedding? Because it almost sounds crazy. I'm assuming your mom would be like, What do you mean? But I'm just like, You didn't do this, you didn't do that. You just really make me feel like you might not. You really make me feel like you're disappointed in me, and that hurts. I want to make you proud and blah, blah, blah. Guilt her. She's got a guilt in you. I think give her a little bit of her own medicine with love, of course.Yes. No, for sure. That makes total sense.All right. Was this helpful at all?Yes. No, it was. I guess I've been trying to come at it from too soft of a perspective, maybe, just because I'm not wanting to have that fight or not wanting to be confrontational. But I guess I can be slightly confrontational. I saw him say to Daniella, I can't even stand up right now. I saw that, yeah. And then I saw him bringing her breakfast in the morning, kissing that was on at movie night.I'm trying to remember all of it because there was a lot, but the handshake was on at movie night. The shower with you was on at movie night. So there was a lot of movies about us. And yeah, it was definitely hard to watch. But I'm glad that I guess I'm glad that I saw it there. I don't know. Yeah, it's just that movie night was tough.I feel like you honestly have probably seen the worst of it.Oh, don't tell me that because I'm going to watch and be like, Oh, shit.In fairness to Aaron, even Cordell, it's like… If I were Aaron's brother trying to have his back, it is Love Island. It is Casa Amor. You guys keep talking about being open and things like that. It is It's not even honestly what went down at Casa Amor. It's how he handled it.I agree.I think it's the biggest concern for people who care about you and just see the potential in the both of you. Yeah, it's him not apologizing for the Leah stuff. It's the shit like that where it's just like, I think everyone's biggest fear is for you to have a relationship with Aaron, it's going to be very much on his terms. I think people hate that for you.Yeah. I feel like just going back to what you said, I feel like he keeps saying, I'm sorry that I did that. I'm like, Don't be sorry for acting the way you wanted to act. You wanted to do that. You felt like you wanted to do that in that moment. I'm not mad at him for not going into a situation and being open, but him being open does not necessarily mean that you allow another girl to give you an erection. Sorry, that's not being open in my book. It's like that is just completely taking a huge shit right on my head.We're the impression that being open is like you're open to having conversations with people. You're open to getting to know them.You need to get to know them. You need to get to know the way they care. Is that getting to know someone? Like, okay, shit. I think I must have missed out on that, Erin. Being flirt Flirtatious is not a personality trait.Yeah. It's not. I've been a flirt my whole life, especially when I was single. Then when I met Nelly, you know what I stopped doing? Stop being a flirt. You can choose to not be a flirt. It's not one of those things where it's just like, oh, well, physical touch is my love language, and I can't help but not flirt. Because I've always been a flirt, now that I'm in a relationship with someone, me being flirtatious with her doesn't mean I'm being flirtatious.It's like, what? I was saying that. I was like, wait, so you're such a flirt. You're love language because he I'm going to say that his love language is physical touch. I'm like, so if we're at a bar someday and a girl comes up to you, are you going to physically want to kiss her?It's also called love language.Or touch her in any way. It's called love language.Thank you. It's not called friend language. It's not called-For everyone language. Stranger language. It's not stranger language.Yeah. Oh, gosh. Wish me love.Kayla, thank you for being so fun to talk with and so honest. I know this is Having me. It's been an up and down experience for you. Not always easy, but you've always been real. You've always been authentic. Even coming here, knowing that you are in a relationship with Aaron, I know it's not easy for you to talk about, especially knowing that even us, we have critiques of the relationship and of Erin, but we think the world of you. Thank you so much. We know you're going to be okay and you're an absolute star, and just keep being you. Thank you. I don't know what's going to happen with you two, but I am confident that you are going to be just fine.Thank you. Yeah. Really scared, but thank you. I appreciate all of your advice because I need it. I do. I need all the advice I can get. But yeah, thank you so much for having me.But not from anyone on social media.Yeah, no. Can't look at the negative comments, but yes.Well, even the positive ones are actually dangerous because if you believe those, you have to believe the negative ones. Yeah, so true. I mean, who knows? Who knows what's going to happen with you two? There's a reunion.I know. I'm like, watch him and I not be together in Then at the reunion, after I watch things back, I'm like, Are we not going to work? Then at the reunion, I'm going to have to see him. Jeez, yeah. You're going to be fine. You're going to be fine. You're going to be fine. You're going to be fine.You're going to be fine. You're much stronger than you Yeah.Thank you.I think we just all want to see you realize it.That's all. Maybe next time I talk with you guys, I'll actually watch the show and I'll have more insight on how I feel about everything. I would definitely watch it before the reunion. Oh, I have to. Yeah, I have to. Now that I have Peacock, I can go on and watch it. But the last thing, I'm just trying to live in the moment and live my life a little bit right now instead of sitting in a hotel room or sitting at home and watching what I just lived in for the last two months. Amen. Totally understandable.Just don't let anyone, including your boyfriend, question your instincts because you got some good ones.Thank you guys. Thank you so much.Well, we thank Kayla for coming on, and thank you guys for listening. If you just tuned in for Kyla, we're here multiple times a week. We got our Asnic episodes every Monday. If you like to text me in office hours, it's a lot of people calling in with relationship problems, whether it's family problems, boyfriend/girlfriend problems, everything under the sun, and we offer advice. It's a lot of fun. Plus, we got Reality Recap every Tuesday and Thursday, and this going deeper on Wednesdays when we have stars like Kayler. Thanks for listening. Tell your friends, subscribe, all that fun stuff. We'll see you tomorrow. Bye.

at the cameras right at the camera while I'm having a chat. They're like, Kayler, quit looking at the cameras. Or I'd pick a wedge and I'd be like, Did you catch that? But yeah, no, it's definitely a crazy experience It's just like, I'm from a really small town as well. So all of this is just not... I'm not used to this at all. Outside of Pittsburgh? Yeah. So I live an hour away from Pittsburgh. It's the country of PA.

And that's where you were living before you left to film the show.

Yeah. So I just graduated with my undergrad and then moved back home with my family. Where did you go to school? And I went to a small school in PA, like 35 minutes away from where I live. Where did you study? Psychology, which He's rising for some people.

Why is that?

Because I'm a big cryer.

No, I love that about you. We were Oh, I don't want to be too myself. I'm scared. Because obviously, while you're in there, you're thinking like, Oh, how are you going to be portrayed to the outside world? But yeah, I'm really happy with how I went about everything. I feel like in the villa, I definitely was myself. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but- I think it's a great thing.Obviously, we know that sometimes being yourself on reality TV is great. It's like we appreciate it, that other people can People online are dicks. Fans, short for fanatic. Even though they might be huge fans of you, it doesn't always feel that way because it's easy to comment something just because most people don't think you're ever going to read anything, shit like that. But what has it been like for you coming out of the villa and immersing yourself into the real world? Have you stayed offline? Are you reading stuff? I think the biggest question most people want to know is, have you watched it all back?I have not.You have not.No. I think just going from the first thing that you said in your question, I feel like as an Islander, and I'm not sure if anyone else can agree with me, but you are drawn to the negative of comments. I had someone comment, I think, on my Twitter and was like, Kayla, don't look at your Twitter thread. What did I do? Ranned a Twitter and looked at my Twitter thread. I feel like I have been having a lot of love as well. Support is absolutely insane. But I feel like I've just also... You know that comes with hate in a sense. It was such a big deal when this did become such a big show. It's such a great thing, but also bad in a way because you also have a lot of negative attention. Okay, yeah. I I haven't watched it back at all.How did you come to that decision?Maybe she just didn't have time. She just got back yesterday.Sure. Is that it? Is it just a lack of time? Yeah.I had a few days in Fiji before I returned, but actually, Peacock, you can't really download Peacock in Fiji. All you see is the edits that people are making and what's circling on TikTok. But one of my biggest comments in my comment section are Kayler, if anyone needs to watch the show, it's you. Go and watch the freaking show. I feel like I'm very nervous to watch the show, and I'd like to do it with someone like Liv or one of my girlfriends.We'll watch it with you. Yeah. Okay.That's a watch party.We got your back. That's a watch party.But yeah, I feel like I'm very nervous to watch it back. What are you most nervous about? What do you think, nick? I'm definitely the most nervous about Casa. I feel like I still have some unanswered questions at convincing myself what I want.What I want isn't often what I need. Yeah.I feel like even during Casa, you keep saying the instincts. I knew deep down that he was going to move that way in Casa.What made you think that?Just like... Fuck, I don't want to shit on Aaron right now. But I just feel like I had a feeling since I know how lovey-dovey he is and how flirty he is, I had that feeling that he was going to be like that in Casa. We had multiple conversations, which I'm sure you guys didn't see prior to Casa. I would be in the bed at night and I'd be like, I think Casa is tomorrow. I have this feeling that Casa is going to be tomorrow. You have nothing to worry about. We're open, but you have nothing to worry about all of this stuff. Then again, part of me was like, Aaron would be the last person to do that. He's my best friend. He would never want to hurt me in that way. But two, I thought that what we had was way better than, I think, what I anticipated because whenever he came back, I feel like, oh, then he had just realized he actually love for me. Unfortunately, it had to be in a way of kissing another girl and all of that stuff. I just feel like we were on two different pages before Costa, and I feel like that wasn't discussed and communicated in the best way between the two of us.I'm sure you guys seen before Costa, he was like, I'm feeling love for you. I think that, yeah, I'm sure we'll get into it, but I feel like my definition of love and his definition of love are two different things.That's going to be fair. What do you think his definition of love is?I see. I don't know. I feel like I don't know because I keep thinking about… I keep going back to Costa, and I'm sorry, but it was just such a huge experience for me on the show. Yeah, don't apologize. But I just feel like if you love someone, you don't want to kiss another girl, and you don't want to flirt with another girl, and you don't want to make another girl breakfast, and you don't want to make up a handshake that we've had together with another girl, and you don't want to ask another girl to shower with you after you beg me for weeks to shower with you. So I just feel like that's not love. And whenever I love someone, I'm very loyal and very committed to them. Since I love Erin, I wasn't going to go in the villa and go make out with Jalen. Even though, because this is after I found out about the video, I saw that he was kissing other girls and stuff. A part of me wanted to be petty and just make out with Jalen. But I also just had to be true to myself, and I couldn't do tit for tat situation.But yeah, I just feel like whenever you love someone, you don't disrespect respect them and you respect their feelings. Unfortunately, he did not during Casa.Do you think you deserve someone who loves you the same way you love them?Yes. I feel like a lot of people were even saying, Kaylee, you need to realize your worth. You need to value yourself. I do think I really deserve the best. But honestly, I just had one other relationship prior to this one. What was that like? It was very bad. I don't really have a good example of what a good love story is like and also what a good relationship is like.Yeah, but I'm going to challenge you there a little bit because you do have good instincts. You're a major in psychology. That doesn't mean necessarily that you're... But even talking to you now, again, you know what you deserve. You know how to talk about very articulately about love and feelings and things like that. I've had a lot of bad relationships before. I give relationship advice all the time, but it's not based off of my track record in terms of decisions I've made. Every time I've been in a relationship that didn't go my way her?I have. Leah and I actually left Fiji together. We went to the airport together, and the first thing I told her was the entire situation and why my friend was saying that and where that came fromwere like, Let's introduce ourselves. Let's make them feel welcome. You just watch your man be all over this girl. But you're like, You know what? No, I want to go to her and I want to make her feel welcome. That's who you are as a person.Thank you. I really appreciate that. I don't want to get lot of things like that. Yeah, it's hard. I'm not used to being in this light at all. Yeah, I feel like this opportunity has shown me so much about... I've learned so much about myself, and I know I'm just going to keep growing and learning because of this, and I think it's only going to make me stronger.I'm so sorry that you've had... It's fucked up, and it never gets easier to read hateful things about yourself, and it's not right. And it's so fucked up that people think it's okay to say that knowing you're going to see it and you're going to read it or people you love are going to see that and going to read it. But I just want you to focus on the people who do know you and care about you and love you. And all of that is such outside noise that none of it actually matters because these people flip so fucking easily. Leah or anyone can say, Oh, my God, well, I don't even like peanut butter.And It would be like, Fuck you. Are you fucking kidding?You don't like fucking peanut butter?We're done.This is how these people work. It's just like, Don't take any of this shit to heart.Your biggest fans will be the quickest to turn on you. Not because they're not fans anymore, because they're disappointed. You know what I'm saying? They're easily triggered.You win them back. Yeah. I've had a lot of my... It feels so weird even saying fans. The people who enjoyed watching me, they're like, I loved you until this moment. Now I can't fucking stand you.I'm like, beautiful. They're just, it's a projection.I just feel like what my mom says, and she's like, Just remember, the people who love you know who you are as a person, and we're not disappointed in you. Stop beating yourself up about it. I think that's what I was most concerned about is leaving here because I am so emotional. Since I wear my heart on my sleeve, I was really worried that I would take all the aftermath stuff really badly and harshly. I'm glad that I am. I'm not beating myself as much as I thought I would talk about everything. That's awesome.Well, I love talking to you. Again, I think you're going to be all right. You're a star. Thank you. We love to do this with our guests like you. We have this thing called texting office hours. Someone's about call in. They're struggling with a relationship. We offer advice as friends. You can put your psychology degree on. We learn through our mistakes. I think you're going to do great. I think you're going to offer great advice. Are you ready to do it?Let's do it. Yes.Like I always say, shavings make a pile. Habits are important, people. That's why I'm excited to talk about Noom. Noom is a psychology-based program that helps you reach your health goals, whatever your health goals are. Maybe you want more energy, maybe you want to gain muscle mass, maybe you want to lose weight. It doesn't matter. There are different ways to get healthy. But the important thing is Noom is helping you meet those health goals, whatever they are. Noom uses psychology. It also takes into account your unique biological factors, which also affect you reaching your health goals. The program helps you understand the science behind your eating choices and why you have cravings. Noom helps you build new habits for a healthier lifestyle. For me, it's all about me maintaining my current health, my current weight. I'm not as active as I used to be. I have a lot more going on with the new baby. So it's really important for me to maintain my current health that I had when I was single and had more time to work out and things like that. And a big part of that is adjusting my diet. Noom allows you to do that while still enjoying the things that you eat.It's not about having a drastic change in your diet. It's about little changes that add up to meeting your wellness goals. Noom's flexible program focuses on the progress instead of perfection, the science behind Noom. Active first-time new users lose on average of 15 pounds in 15 weeks, and 95% of customers say Noom is a good long-term solution. So if you've had a hard time meeting your wellness goals, look to Noom to help change that up. Stay focused on what's important to Youm with Noom's psychology and biology-based approach. Sign up for your new trial today at noom. Com. That's N-O-O-M. Com.And check out Noom's first ever cookbook, The Noom Kitchen, for 100 healthy and delicious recipes to promote better living. Available to buy now wherever books are sold. Based on three and a half year study, I've actively engaged Noom users with minimum starting BMI of 25. Individual results may vary. Visit our website for more information.How's it going?Hi, my name is Popy, and I'm 27 years old.How can we help Popy?I am calling in just because my mom is not excited about my wedding, and I don't know what to do.Why isn't your mom excited about your wedding?I don't know. It's a bit of a long story, but I can try and explain it as best as possible.Okay.My fiancé and I got engaged in April, and we've been planning our wedding. We went on a trip together in May and just been trying to figure out what we want to do for our venue and things like that. But prior to that, two months before, my sister got engaged, and she She's six years younger than me. And it seems like my mom is all wrapped up in her wedding and her planning and everything like that, and I don't seem to be having the same feedback. And yeah, so I'm just trying to figure out the best way to try and navigate . It seems like she's very welcoming to him, but then when he's not there, she often says things like she barely knows him, she doesn't feel close with him at all. Even though she's met his parents multiple times, he has been over a a million times to their house. They always have these big lunches or dinners, and they always want him to come over. And we've been together for almost five years at this point, so I don't understand why she seems like she doesn't know him.Does she not make an effort to ask him questions about his life or anything?She does a little bit, but it all feels very surface level and nothing more deeper than that. It's more like, how's How's your day going? How's your job? Things like that.When's your sister's wedding? When's yours?My sister's wedding is coming up at the end of August. My wedding is on June of next year.Okay. Do you think maybe part of that is just because your sister's wedding is just around the corner, or then maybe mentally your mom's like, I don't have the bandwidth for two. Then do you think maybe she'll immerse herself into yours?I do agree with that. However, I wanted to buy my wedding dress, wanted to get my venue booked, the big chunky stuff just to give some time, and then we can be excited about my sister's wedding, and then I can carry on after that. However, she wouldn't want to come to look at the venue with me. She didn't want to come to... I had a florist appointment. She didn't want to come to that. She did come to my wedding dress shopping. However, right before we went in the store, she asked what my budget was, and I told her that I talked with the bridal store before. They were super accommodating. They said there would be no issues. And she just laughed at me and said there would be no way I would find a dress for that in my budget. And then I started crying right before the bridal appointment, but managed to muster through. And I had a second appointment that she did come with, and I did find the dress that I loved. However, I guess I naively had hoped that she buy the dress, and she didn't. She didn't want to help me with it at all.However, she did for my sister's whole bridal appointment and everything. Bought it, no questions asked. Even during the appointment, had said, What if we up the budget a little bit? And requested the big veil, things like that. So while, yes, I agree that maybe she's a little overwhelmed with my sister's wedding, I just feel like I'm not getting the same experience.When You said you're not doing it the traditional way, but your sister is.What does that mean?My fiance and I are living together. My parents are fairly religious. They're not happy about that. My sister, her and her fiance, are living apart until they get married. They're getting married in a church. I wanted to get married outside, and we found this beautiful outdoor location. they're going to burn hell or some crazy shit. They justify how they treat you out of their own fear of you not doing it wrong. Or maybe it's how you look to their friends, but they don't really want to say that. So it's easier just to blame it on you not following their religious beliefs. But I think it might have to be that direct with your mom. Almost like, Hey, why aren't you... You almost make her answer the question as to why she is going about your wedding very differently than your sister's.I also think it's important to say, I need my mom right now. I need you to be my mom, and this is one of the most important experiences of my life, and I need you to be a part of it. I want you to be a part of it.You can say, I know I don't always make choices that you agree with, but I still, to Nalea's point, I want to feel like you're proud of me as a person. Lead with love. Tell your mom and dad Listen, I know I'm doing things that maybe you don't agree with, but who I am as a person, I owe to all... Whatever you do love about me, whatever I am doing that makes you proud, I owe it to you guys. You almost soften her up by, how could she be mad at you for what you're not doing when you're giving her all the credit for all the things that she does appreciate about you, which I'm sure is still a lot, even though she's not showing it. I wonder if you just say that will almost make her, we'll soften her up a little bit. At At the end of the day, though, if your mom doesn't come around, I think you just have to know in your heart that this is about you and your husband and your fiance. If your mom's going to be disappointed that you live with him before you get married, that's her problem.At the end of the day, you can't let your mom's disappointment and shame affect your wedding because you guys will get through this eventually. When? I don't know. Hopefully before your wedding, but you'll get through it. She's your mom. She loves you, you love her. But what you don't want is to make this even worse by acting as if your mom is going to make or break how much you enjoy your wedding.Yeah. No, that makes total sense. I know I've been trying to work through it already. Even with my therapist, I We've hammered this conversation hundreds of times at this point, and I'm just like, I'm having a hard time coping with it. I guess part of me was already a little fearful that she was doing this. And now that my fears are coming true, when my fiance moved in, My parents had offered to help with the move, but then instead, in the same sentence, they offered to help with the move, but then they booked a trip that they would be gone exactly the week he was moving in. So it was a little bit of a back-handed thing. And I'm just worried that something similar like that might happen leading up to the wedding. Not that they will still probably show up, I would think. But I don't know how to make myself not not care about that on my wedding. I want to be able to be free from that fear and just be excited about it with me and my fiance.I don't think you need to cope with it right now. I think you cope with it after your mom confirms your feelings and says, Yeah, you know what? I don't support you living with him, and I don't want to help you if she were to say those things. That's when I think you decide to cope with it. I think right now you just need to go to her and have this conversation of, I need you to be here for me. I need to be here, here for me like you are for my sister. I want that. I need that. You're my mom. I just don't see a world in which she denies you.Yes, I hope so. I'm going to definitely try that. I'm going to try just trying to be a little more direct and make her answer the question and maybe get some more clarity that way, and maybe that'll clear the air a little bit. I think there's a difference between your parents, skipping out on helping you move in and not coming to your wedding.No one likes to help anyone move.Me and even. Even if it is the boyfriend, they don't necessarily agree with your decision.But I do think maybe just saying, Mom, are you and dad thinking about missing my wedding? Because it almost sounds crazy. I'm assuming your mom would be like, What do you mean? But I'm just like, You didn't do this, you didn't do that. You just really make me feel like you might not. You really make me feel like you're disappointed in me, and that hurts. I want to make you proud and blah, blah, blah. Guilt her. She's got a guilt in you. I think give her a little bit of her own medicine with love, of course.Yes. No, for sure. That makes total sense.All right. Was this helpful at all?Yes. No, it was. I guess I've been trying to come at it from too soft of a perspective, maybe, just because I'm not wanting to have that fight or not wanting to be confrontational. But I guess I can be slightly confrontational. I saw him say to Daniella, I can't even stand up right now. I saw that, yeah. And then I saw him bringing her breakfast in the morning, kissing that was on at movie night.I'm trying to remember all of it because there was a lot, but the handshake was on at movie night. The shower with you was on at movie night. So there was a lot of movies about us. And yeah, it was definitely hard to watch. But I'm glad that I guess I'm glad that I saw it there. I don't know. Yeah, it's just that movie night was tough.I feel like you honestly have probably seen the worst of it.Oh, don't tell me that because I'm going to watch and be like, Oh, shit.In fairness to Aaron, even Cordell, it's like… If I were Aaron's brother trying to have his back, it is Love Island. It is Casa Amor. You guys keep talking about being open and things like that. It is It's not even honestly what went down at Casa Amor. It's how he handled it.I agree.I think it's the biggest concern for people who care about you and just see the potential in the both of you. Yeah, it's him not apologizing for the Leah stuff. It's the shit like that where it's just like, I think everyone's biggest fear is for you to have a relationship with Aaron, it's going to be very much on his terms. I think people hate that for you.Yeah. I feel like just going back to what you said, I feel like he keeps saying, I'm sorry that I did that. I'm like, Don't be sorry for acting the way you wanted to act. You wanted to do that. You felt like you wanted to do that in that moment. I'm not mad at him for not going into a situation and being open, but him being open does not necessarily mean that you allow another girl to give you an erection. Sorry, that's not being open in my book. It's like that is just completely taking a huge shit right on my head.We're the impression that being open is like you're open to having conversations with people. You're open to getting to know them.You need to get to know them. You need to get to know the way they care. Is that getting to know someone? Like, okay, shit. I think I must have missed out on that, Erin. Being flirt Flirtatious is not a personality trait.Yeah. It's not. I've been a flirt my whole life, especially when I was single. Then when I met Nelly, you know what I stopped doing? Stop being a flirt. You can choose to not be a flirt. It's not one of those things where it's just like, oh, well, physical touch is my love language, and I can't help but not flirt. Because I've always been a flirt, now that I'm in a relationship with someone, me being flirtatious with her doesn't mean I'm being flirtatious.It's like, what? I was saying that. I was like, wait, so you're such a flirt. You're love language because he I'm going to say that his love language is physical touch. I'm like, so if we're at a bar someday and a girl comes up to you, are you going to physically want to kiss her?It's also called love language.Or touch her in any way. It's called love language.Thank you. It's not called friend language. It's not called-For everyone language. Stranger language. It's not stranger language.Yeah. Oh, gosh. Wish me love.Kayla, thank you for being so fun to talk with and so honest. I know this is Having me. It's been an up and down experience for you. Not always easy, but you've always been real. You've always been authentic. Even coming here, knowing that you are in a relationship with Aaron, I know it's not easy for you to talk about, especially knowing that even us, we have critiques of the relationship and of Erin, but we think the world of you. Thank you so much. We know you're going to be okay and you're an absolute star, and just keep being you. Thank you. I don't know what's going to happen with you two, but I am confident that you are going to be just fine.Thank you. Yeah. Really scared, but thank you. I appreciate all of your advice because I need it. I do. I need all the advice I can get. But yeah, thank you so much for having me.But not from anyone on social media.Yeah, no. Can't look at the negative comments, but yes.Well, even the positive ones are actually dangerous because if you believe those, you have to believe the negative ones. Yeah, so true. I mean, who knows? Who knows what's going to happen with you two? There's a reunion.I know. I'm like, watch him and I not be together in Then at the reunion, after I watch things back, I'm like, Are we not going to work? Then at the reunion, I'm going to have to see him. Jeez, yeah. You're going to be fine. You're going to be fine. You're going to be fine. You're going to be fine.You're going to be fine. You're much stronger than you Yeah.Thank you.I think we just all want to see you realize it.That's all. Maybe next time I talk with you guys, I'll actually watch the show and I'll have more insight on how I feel about everything. I would definitely watch it before the reunion. Oh, I have to. Yeah, I have to. Now that I have Peacock, I can go on and watch it. But the last thing, I'm just trying to live in the moment and live my life a little bit right now instead of sitting in a hotel room or sitting at home and watching what I just lived in for the last two months. Amen. Totally understandable.Just don't let anyone, including your boyfriend, question your instincts because you got some good ones.Thank you guys. Thank you so much.Well, we thank Kayla for coming on, and thank you guys for listening. If you just tuned in for Kyla, we're here multiple times a week. We got our Asnic episodes every Monday. If you like to text me in office hours, it's a lot of people calling in with relationship problems, whether it's family problems, boyfriend/girlfriend problems, everything under the sun, and we offer advice. It's a lot of fun. Plus, we got Reality Recap every Tuesday and Thursday, and this going deeper on Wednesdays when we have stars like Kayler. Thanks for listening. Tell your friends, subscribe, all that fun stuff. We'll see you tomorrow. Bye.

Oh, I don't want to be too myself. I'm scared. Because obviously, while you're in there, you're thinking like, Oh, how are you going to be portrayed to the outside world? But yeah, I'm really happy with how I went about everything. I feel like in the villa, I definitely was myself. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but- I think it's a great thing.

Obviously, we know that sometimes being yourself on reality TV is great. It's like we appreciate it, that other people can People online are dicks. Fans, short for fanatic. Even though they might be huge fans of you, it doesn't always feel that way because it's easy to comment something just because most people don't think you're ever going to read anything, shit like that. But what has it been like for you coming out of the villa and immersing yourself into the real world? Have you stayed offline? Are you reading stuff? I think the biggest question most people want to know is, have you watched it all back?

I have not.

You have not.

No. I think just going from the first thing that you said in your question, I feel like as an Islander, and I'm not sure if anyone else can agree with me, but you are drawn to the negative of comments. I had someone comment, I think, on my Twitter and was like, Kayla, don't look at your Twitter thread. What did I do? Ranned a Twitter and looked at my Twitter thread. I feel like I have been having a lot of love as well. Support is absolutely insane. But I feel like I've just also... You know that comes with hate in a sense. It was such a big deal when this did become such a big show. It's such a great thing, but also bad in a way because you also have a lot of negative attention. Okay, yeah. I I haven't watched it back at all.

How did you come to that decision?

Maybe she just didn't have time. She just got back yesterday.

Sure. Is that it? Is it just a lack of time? Yeah.

I had a few days in Fiji before I returned, but actually, Peacock, you can't really download Peacock in Fiji. All you see is the edits that people are making and what's circling on TikTok. But one of my biggest comments in my comment section are Kayler, if anyone needs to watch the show, it's you. Go and watch the freaking show. I feel like I'm very nervous to watch the show, and I'd like to do it with someone like Liv or one of my girlfriends.

We'll watch it with you. Yeah. Okay.

That's a watch party.

We got your back. That's a watch party.

But yeah, I feel like I'm very nervous to watch it back. What are you most nervous about? What do you think, nick? I'm definitely the most nervous about Casa. I feel like I still have some unanswered questions at convincing myself what I want.What I want isn't often what I need. Yeah.I feel like even during Casa, you keep saying the instincts. I knew deep down that he was going to move that way in Casa.What made you think that?Just like... Fuck, I don't want to shit on Aaron right now. But I just feel like I had a feeling since I know how lovey-dovey he is and how flirty he is, I had that feeling that he was going to be like that in Casa. We had multiple conversations, which I'm sure you guys didn't see prior to Casa. I would be in the bed at night and I'd be like, I think Casa is tomorrow. I have this feeling that Casa is going to be tomorrow. You have nothing to worry about. We're open, but you have nothing to worry about all of this stuff. Then again, part of me was like, Aaron would be the last person to do that. He's my best friend. He would never want to hurt me in that way. But two, I thought that what we had was way better than, I think, what I anticipated because whenever he came back, I feel like, oh, then he had just realized he actually love for me. Unfortunately, it had to be in a way of kissing another girl and all of that stuff. I just feel like we were on two different pages before Costa, and I feel like that wasn't discussed and communicated in the best way between the two of us.I'm sure you guys seen before Costa, he was like, I'm feeling love for you. I think that, yeah, I'm sure we'll get into it, but I feel like my definition of love and his definition of love are two different things.That's going to be fair. What do you think his definition of love is?I see. I don't know. I feel like I don't know because I keep thinking about… I keep going back to Costa, and I'm sorry, but it was just such a huge experience for me on the show. Yeah, don't apologize. But I just feel like if you love someone, you don't want to kiss another girl, and you don't want to flirt with another girl, and you don't want to make another girl breakfast, and you don't want to make up a handshake that we've had together with another girl, and you don't want to ask another girl to shower with you after you beg me for weeks to shower with you. So I just feel like that's not love. And whenever I love someone, I'm very loyal and very committed to them. Since I love Erin, I wasn't going to go in the villa and go make out with Jalen. Even though, because this is after I found out about the video, I saw that he was kissing other girls and stuff. A part of me wanted to be petty and just make out with Jalen. But I also just had to be true to myself, and I couldn't do tit for tat situation.But yeah, I just feel like whenever you love someone, you don't disrespect respect them and you respect their feelings. Unfortunately, he did not during Casa.Do you think you deserve someone who loves you the same way you love them?Yes. I feel like a lot of people were even saying, Kaylee, you need to realize your worth. You need to value yourself. I do think I really deserve the best. But honestly, I just had one other relationship prior to this one. What was that like? It was very bad. I don't really have a good example of what a good love story is like and also what a good relationship is like.Yeah, but I'm going to challenge you there a little bit because you do have good instincts. You're a major in psychology. That doesn't mean necessarily that you're... But even talking to you now, again, you know what you deserve. You know how to talk about very articulately about love and feelings and things like that. I've had a lot of bad relationships before. I give relationship advice all the time, but it's not based off of my track record in terms of decisions I've made. Every time I've been in a relationship that didn't go my way her?I have. Leah and I actually left Fiji together. We went to the airport together, and the first thing I told her was the entire situation and why my friend was saying that and where that came fromwere like, Let's introduce ourselves. Let's make them feel welcome. You just watch your man be all over this girl. But you're like, You know what? No, I want to go to her and I want to make her feel welcome. That's who you are as a person.Thank you. I really appreciate that. I don't want to get lot of things like that. Yeah, it's hard. I'm not used to being in this light at all. Yeah, I feel like this opportunity has shown me so much about... I've learned so much about myself, and I know I'm just going to keep growing and learning because of this, and I think it's only going to make me stronger.I'm so sorry that you've had... It's fucked up, and it never gets easier to read hateful things about yourself, and it's not right. And it's so fucked up that people think it's okay to say that knowing you're going to see it and you're going to read it or people you love are going to see that and going to read it. But I just want you to focus on the people who do know you and care about you and love you. And all of that is such outside noise that none of it actually matters because these people flip so fucking easily. Leah or anyone can say, Oh, my God, well, I don't even like peanut butter.And It would be like, Fuck you. Are you fucking kidding?You don't like fucking peanut butter?We're done.This is how these people work. It's just like, Don't take any of this shit to heart.Your biggest fans will be the quickest to turn on you. Not because they're not fans anymore, because they're disappointed. You know what I'm saying? They're easily triggered.You win them back. Yeah. I've had a lot of my... It feels so weird even saying fans. The people who enjoyed watching me, they're like, I loved you until this moment. Now I can't fucking stand you.I'm like, beautiful. They're just, it's a projection.I just feel like what my mom says, and she's like, Just remember, the people who love you know who you are as a person, and we're not disappointed in you. Stop beating yourself up about it. I think that's what I was most concerned about is leaving here because I am so emotional. Since I wear my heart on my sleeve, I was really worried that I would take all the aftermath stuff really badly and harshly. I'm glad that I am. I'm not beating myself as much as I thought I would talk about everything. That's awesome.Well, I love talking to you. Again, I think you're going to be all right. You're a star. Thank you. We love to do this with our guests like you. We have this thing called texting office hours. Someone's about call in. They're struggling with a relationship. We offer advice as friends. You can put your psychology degree on. We learn through our mistakes. I think you're going to do great. I think you're going to offer great advice. Are you ready to do it?Let's do it. Yes.Like I always say, shavings make a pile. Habits are important, people. That's why I'm excited to talk about Noom. Noom is a psychology-based program that helps you reach your health goals, whatever your health goals are. Maybe you want more energy, maybe you want to gain muscle mass, maybe you want to lose weight. It doesn't matter. There are different ways to get healthy. But the important thing is Noom is helping you meet those health goals, whatever they are. Noom uses psychology. It also takes into account your unique biological factors, which also affect you reaching your health goals. The program helps you understand the science behind your eating choices and why you have cravings. Noom helps you build new habits for a healthier lifestyle. For me, it's all about me maintaining my current health, my current weight. I'm not as active as I used to be. I have a lot more going on with the new baby. So it's really important for me to maintain my current health that I had when I was single and had more time to work out and things like that. And a big part of that is adjusting my diet. Noom allows you to do that while still enjoying the things that you eat.It's not about having a drastic change in your diet. It's about little changes that add up to meeting your wellness goals. Noom's flexible program focuses on the progress instead of perfection, the science behind Noom. Active first-time new users lose on average of 15 pounds in 15 weeks, and 95% of customers say Noom is a good long-term solution. So if you've had a hard time meeting your wellness goals, look to Noom to help change that up. Stay focused on what's important to Youm with Noom's psychology and biology-based approach. Sign up for your new trial today at noom. Com. That's N-O-O-M. Com.And check out Noom's first ever cookbook, The Noom Kitchen, for 100 healthy and delicious recipes to promote better living. Available to buy now wherever books are sold. Based on three and a half year study, I've actively engaged Noom users with minimum starting BMI of 25. Individual results may vary. Visit our website for more information.How's it going?Hi, my name is Popy, and I'm 27 years old.How can we help Popy?I am calling in just because my mom is not excited about my wedding, and I don't know what to do.Why isn't your mom excited about your wedding?I don't know. It's a bit of a long story, but I can try and explain it as best as possible.Okay.My fiancé and I got engaged in April, and we've been planning our wedding. We went on a trip together in May and just been trying to figure out what we want to do for our venue and things like that. But prior to that, two months before, my sister got engaged, and she She's six years younger than me. And it seems like my mom is all wrapped up in her wedding and her planning and everything like that, and I don't seem to be having the same feedback. And yeah, so I'm just trying to figure out the best way to try and navigate . It seems like she's very welcoming to him, but then when he's not there, she often says things like she barely knows him, she doesn't feel close with him at all. Even though she's met his parents multiple times, he has been over a a million times to their house. They always have these big lunches or dinners, and they always want him to come over. And we've been together for almost five years at this point, so I don't understand why she seems like she doesn't know him.Does she not make an effort to ask him questions about his life or anything?She does a little bit, but it all feels very surface level and nothing more deeper than that. It's more like, how's How's your day going? How's your job? Things like that.When's your sister's wedding? When's yours?My sister's wedding is coming up at the end of August. My wedding is on June of next year.Okay. Do you think maybe part of that is just because your sister's wedding is just around the corner, or then maybe mentally your mom's like, I don't have the bandwidth for two. Then do you think maybe she'll immerse herself into yours?I do agree with that. However, I wanted to buy my wedding dress, wanted to get my venue booked, the big chunky stuff just to give some time, and then we can be excited about my sister's wedding, and then I can carry on after that. However, she wouldn't want to come to look at the venue with me. She didn't want to come to... I had a florist appointment. She didn't want to come to that. She did come to my wedding dress shopping. However, right before we went in the store, she asked what my budget was, and I told her that I talked with the bridal store before. They were super accommodating. They said there would be no issues. And she just laughed at me and said there would be no way I would find a dress for that in my budget. And then I started crying right before the bridal appointment, but managed to muster through. And I had a second appointment that she did come with, and I did find the dress that I loved. However, I guess I naively had hoped that she buy the dress, and she didn't. She didn't want to help me with it at all.However, she did for my sister's whole bridal appointment and everything. Bought it, no questions asked. Even during the appointment, had said, What if we up the budget a little bit? And requested the big veil, things like that. So while, yes, I agree that maybe she's a little overwhelmed with my sister's wedding, I just feel like I'm not getting the same experience.When You said you're not doing it the traditional way, but your sister is.What does that mean?My fiance and I are living together. My parents are fairly religious. They're not happy about that. My sister, her and her fiance, are living apart until they get married. They're getting married in a church. I wanted to get married outside, and we found this beautiful outdoor location. they're going to burn hell or some crazy shit. They justify how they treat you out of their own fear of you not doing it wrong. Or maybe it's how you look to their friends, but they don't really want to say that. So it's easier just to blame it on you not following their religious beliefs. But I think it might have to be that direct with your mom. Almost like, Hey, why aren't you... You almost make her answer the question as to why she is going about your wedding very differently than your sister's.I also think it's important to say, I need my mom right now. I need you to be my mom, and this is one of the most important experiences of my life, and I need you to be a part of it. I want you to be a part of it.You can say, I know I don't always make choices that you agree with, but I still, to Nalea's point, I want to feel like you're proud of me as a person. Lead with love. Tell your mom and dad Listen, I know I'm doing things that maybe you don't agree with, but who I am as a person, I owe to all... Whatever you do love about me, whatever I am doing that makes you proud, I owe it to you guys. You almost soften her up by, how could she be mad at you for what you're not doing when you're giving her all the credit for all the things that she does appreciate about you, which I'm sure is still a lot, even though she's not showing it. I wonder if you just say that will almost make her, we'll soften her up a little bit. At At the end of the day, though, if your mom doesn't come around, I think you just have to know in your heart that this is about you and your husband and your fiance. If your mom's going to be disappointed that you live with him before you get married, that's her problem.At the end of the day, you can't let your mom's disappointment and shame affect your wedding because you guys will get through this eventually. When? I don't know. Hopefully before your wedding, but you'll get through it. She's your mom. She loves you, you love her. But what you don't want is to make this even worse by acting as if your mom is going to make or break how much you enjoy your wedding.Yeah. No, that makes total sense. I know I've been trying to work through it already. Even with my therapist, I We've hammered this conversation hundreds of times at this point, and I'm just like, I'm having a hard time coping with it. I guess part of me was already a little fearful that she was doing this. And now that my fears are coming true, when my fiance moved in, My parents had offered to help with the move, but then instead, in the same sentence, they offered to help with the move, but then they booked a trip that they would be gone exactly the week he was moving in. So it was a little bit of a back-handed thing. And I'm just worried that something similar like that might happen leading up to the wedding. Not that they will still probably show up, I would think. But I don't know how to make myself not not care about that on my wedding. I want to be able to be free from that fear and just be excited about it with me and my fiance.I don't think you need to cope with it right now. I think you cope with it after your mom confirms your feelings and says, Yeah, you know what? I don't support you living with him, and I don't want to help you if she were to say those things. That's when I think you decide to cope with it. I think right now you just need to go to her and have this conversation of, I need you to be here for me. I need to be here, here for me like you are for my sister. I want that. I need that. You're my mom. I just don't see a world in which she denies you.Yes, I hope so. I'm going to definitely try that. I'm going to try just trying to be a little more direct and make her answer the question and maybe get some more clarity that way, and maybe that'll clear the air a little bit. I think there's a difference between your parents, skipping out on helping you move in and not coming to your wedding.No one likes to help anyone move.Me and even. Even if it is the boyfriend, they don't necessarily agree with your decision.But I do think maybe just saying, Mom, are you and dad thinking about missing my wedding? Because it almost sounds crazy. I'm assuming your mom would be like, What do you mean? But I'm just like, You didn't do this, you didn't do that. You just really make me feel like you might not. You really make me feel like you're disappointed in me, and that hurts. I want to make you proud and blah, blah, blah. Guilt her. She's got a guilt in you. I think give her a little bit of her own medicine with love, of course.Yes. No, for sure. That makes total sense.All right. Was this helpful at all?Yes. No, it was. I guess I've been trying to come at it from too soft of a perspective, maybe, just because I'm not wanting to have that fight or not wanting to be confrontational. But I guess I can be slightly confrontational. I saw him say to Daniella, I can't even stand up right now. I saw that, yeah. And then I saw him bringing her breakfast in the morning, kissing that was on at movie night.I'm trying to remember all of it because there was a lot, but the handshake was on at movie night. The shower with you was on at movie night. So there was a lot of movies about us. And yeah, it was definitely hard to watch. But I'm glad that I guess I'm glad that I saw it there. I don't know. Yeah, it's just that movie night was tough.I feel like you honestly have probably seen the worst of it.Oh, don't tell me that because I'm going to watch and be like, Oh, shit.In fairness to Aaron, even Cordell, it's like… If I were Aaron's brother trying to have his back, it is Love Island. It is Casa Amor. You guys keep talking about being open and things like that. It is It's not even honestly what went down at Casa Amor. It's how he handled it.I agree.I think it's the biggest concern for people who care about you and just see the potential in the both of you. Yeah, it's him not apologizing for the Leah stuff. It's the shit like that where it's just like, I think everyone's biggest fear is for you to have a relationship with Aaron, it's going to be very much on his terms. I think people hate that for you.Yeah. I feel like just going back to what you said, I feel like he keeps saying, I'm sorry that I did that. I'm like, Don't be sorry for acting the way you wanted to act. You wanted to do that. You felt like you wanted to do that in that moment. I'm not mad at him for not going into a situation and being open, but him being open does not necessarily mean that you allow another girl to give you an erection. Sorry, that's not being open in my book. It's like that is just completely taking a huge shit right on my head.We're the impression that being open is like you're open to having conversations with people. You're open to getting to know them.You need to get to know them. You need to get to know the way they care. Is that getting to know someone? Like, okay, shit. I think I must have missed out on that, Erin. Being flirt Flirtatious is not a personality trait.Yeah. It's not. I've been a flirt my whole life, especially when I was single. Then when I met Nelly, you know what I stopped doing? Stop being a flirt. You can choose to not be a flirt. It's not one of those things where it's just like, oh, well, physical touch is my love language, and I can't help but not flirt. Because I've always been a flirt, now that I'm in a relationship with someone, me being flirtatious with her doesn't mean I'm being flirtatious.It's like, what? I was saying that. I was like, wait, so you're such a flirt. You're love language because he I'm going to say that his love language is physical touch. I'm like, so if we're at a bar someday and a girl comes up to you, are you going to physically want to kiss her?It's also called love language.Or touch her in any way. It's called love language.Thank you. It's not called friend language. It's not called-For everyone language. Stranger language. It's not stranger language.Yeah. Oh, gosh. Wish me love.Kayla, thank you for being so fun to talk with and so honest. I know this is Having me. It's been an up and down experience for you. Not always easy, but you've always been real. You've always been authentic. Even coming here, knowing that you are in a relationship with Aaron, I know it's not easy for you to talk about, especially knowing that even us, we have critiques of the relationship and of Erin, but we think the world of you. Thank you so much. We know you're going to be okay and you're an absolute star, and just keep being you. Thank you. I don't know what's going to happen with you two, but I am confident that you are going to be just fine.Thank you. Yeah. Really scared, but thank you. I appreciate all of your advice because I need it. I do. I need all the advice I can get. But yeah, thank you so much for having me.But not from anyone on social media.Yeah, no. Can't look at the negative comments, but yes.Well, even the positive ones are actually dangerous because if you believe those, you have to believe the negative ones. Yeah, so true. I mean, who knows? Who knows what's going to happen with you two? There's a reunion.I know. I'm like, watch him and I not be together in Then at the reunion, after I watch things back, I'm like, Are we not going to work? Then at the reunion, I'm going to have to see him. Jeez, yeah. You're going to be fine. You're going to be fine. You're going to be fine. You're going to be fine.You're going to be fine. You're much stronger than you Yeah.Thank you.I think we just all want to see you realize it.That's all. Maybe next time I talk with you guys, I'll actually watch the show and I'll have more insight on how I feel about everything. I would definitely watch it before the reunion. Oh, I have to. Yeah, I have to. Now that I have Peacock, I can go on and watch it. But the last thing, I'm just trying to live in the moment and live my life a little bit right now instead of sitting in a hotel room or sitting at home and watching what I just lived in for the last two months. Amen. Totally understandable.Just don't let anyone, including your boyfriend, question your instincts because you got some good ones.Thank you guys. Thank you so much.Well, we thank Kayla for coming on, and thank you guys for listening. If you just tuned in for Kyla, we're here multiple times a week. We got our Asnic episodes every Monday. If you like to text me in office hours, it's a lot of people calling in with relationship problems, whether it's family problems, boyfriend/girlfriend problems, everything under the sun, and we offer advice. It's a lot of fun. Plus, we got Reality Recap every Tuesday and Thursday, and this going deeper on Wednesdays when we have stars like Kayler. Thanks for listening. Tell your friends, subscribe, all that fun stuff. We'll see you tomorrow. Bye.

at convincing myself what I want.

What I want isn't often what I need. Yeah.

I feel like even during Casa, you keep saying the instincts. I knew deep down that he was going to move that way in Casa.

What made you think that?

Just like... Fuck, I don't want to shit on Aaron right now. But I just feel like I had a feeling since I know how lovey-dovey he is and how flirty he is, I had that feeling that he was going to be like that in Casa. We had multiple conversations, which I'm sure you guys didn't see prior to Casa. I would be in the bed at night and I'd be like, I think Casa is tomorrow. I have this feeling that Casa is going to be tomorrow. You have nothing to worry about. We're open, but you have nothing to worry about all of this stuff. Then again, part of me was like, Aaron would be the last person to do that. He's my best friend. He would never want to hurt me in that way. But two, I thought that what we had was way better than, I think, what I anticipated because whenever he came back, I feel like, oh, then he had just realized he actually love for me. Unfortunately, it had to be in a way of kissing another girl and all of that stuff. I just feel like we were on two different pages before Costa, and I feel like that wasn't discussed and communicated in the best way between the two of us.

I'm sure you guys seen before Costa, he was like, I'm feeling love for you. I think that, yeah, I'm sure we'll get into it, but I feel like my definition of love and his definition of love are two different things.

That's going to be fair. What do you think his definition of love is?

I see. I don't know. I feel like I don't know because I keep thinking about… I keep going back to Costa, and I'm sorry, but it was just such a huge experience for me on the show. Yeah, don't apologize. But I just feel like if you love someone, you don't want to kiss another girl, and you don't want to flirt with another girl, and you don't want to make another girl breakfast, and you don't want to make up a handshake that we've had together with another girl, and you don't want to ask another girl to shower with you after you beg me for weeks to shower with you. So I just feel like that's not love. And whenever I love someone, I'm very loyal and very committed to them. Since I love Erin, I wasn't going to go in the villa and go make out with Jalen. Even though, because this is after I found out about the video, I saw that he was kissing other girls and stuff. A part of me wanted to be petty and just make out with Jalen. But I also just had to be true to myself, and I couldn't do tit for tat situation.

But yeah, I just feel like whenever you love someone, you don't disrespect respect them and you respect their feelings. Unfortunately, he did not during Casa.

Do you think you deserve someone who loves you the same way you love them?

Yes. I feel like a lot of people were even saying, Kaylee, you need to realize your worth. You need to value yourself. I do think I really deserve the best. But honestly, I just had one other relationship prior to this one. What was that like? It was very bad. I don't really have a good example of what a good love story is like and also what a good relationship is like.

Yeah, but I'm going to challenge you there a little bit because you do have good instincts. You're a major in psychology. That doesn't mean necessarily that you're... But even talking to you now, again, you know what you deserve. You know how to talk about very articulately about love and feelings and things like that. I've had a lot of bad relationships before. I give relationship advice all the time, but it's not based off of my track record in terms of decisions I've made. Every time I've been in a relationship that didn't go my way her?I have. Leah and I actually left Fiji together. We went to the airport together, and the first thing I told her was the entire situation and why my friend was saying that and where that came fromwere like, Let's introduce ourselves. Let's make them feel welcome. You just watch your man be all over this girl. But you're like, You know what? No, I want to go to her and I want to make her feel welcome. That's who you are as a person.Thank you. I really appreciate that. I don't want to get lot of things like that. Yeah, it's hard. I'm not used to being in this light at all. Yeah, I feel like this opportunity has shown me so much about... I've learned so much about myself, and I know I'm just going to keep growing and learning because of this, and I think it's only going to make me stronger.I'm so sorry that you've had... It's fucked up, and it never gets easier to read hateful things about yourself, and it's not right. And it's so fucked up that people think it's okay to say that knowing you're going to see it and you're going to read it or people you love are going to see that and going to read it. But I just want you to focus on the people who do know you and care about you and love you. And all of that is such outside noise that none of it actually matters because these people flip so fucking easily. Leah or anyone can say, Oh, my God, well, I don't even like peanut butter.And It would be like, Fuck you. Are you fucking kidding?You don't like fucking peanut butter?We're done.This is how these people work. It's just like, Don't take any of this shit to heart.Your biggest fans will be the quickest to turn on you. Not because they're not fans anymore, because they're disappointed. You know what I'm saying? They're easily triggered.You win them back. Yeah. I've had a lot of my... It feels so weird even saying fans. The people who enjoyed watching me, they're like, I loved you until this moment. Now I can't fucking stand you.I'm like, beautiful. They're just, it's a projection.I just feel like what my mom says, and she's like, Just remember, the people who love you know who you are as a person, and we're not disappointed in you. Stop beating yourself up about it. I think that's what I was most concerned about is leaving here because I am so emotional. Since I wear my heart on my sleeve, I was really worried that I would take all the aftermath stuff really badly and harshly. I'm glad that I am. I'm not beating myself as much as I thought I would talk about everything. That's awesome.Well, I love talking to you. Again, I think you're going to be all right. You're a star. Thank you. We love to do this with our guests like you. We have this thing called texting office hours. Someone's about call in. They're struggling with a relationship. We offer advice as friends. You can put your psychology degree on. We learn through our mistakes. I think you're going to do great. I think you're going to offer great advice. Are you ready to do it?Let's do it. Yes.Like I always say, shavings make a pile. Habits are important, people. That's why I'm excited to talk about Noom. Noom is a psychology-based program that helps you reach your health goals, whatever your health goals are. Maybe you want more energy, maybe you want to gain muscle mass, maybe you want to lose weight. It doesn't matter. There are different ways to get healthy. But the important thing is Noom is helping you meet those health goals, whatever they are. Noom uses psychology. It also takes into account your unique biological factors, which also affect you reaching your health goals. The program helps you understand the science behind your eating choices and why you have cravings. Noom helps you build new habits for a healthier lifestyle. For me, it's all about me maintaining my current health, my current weight. I'm not as active as I used to be. I have a lot more going on with the new baby. So it's really important for me to maintain my current health that I had when I was single and had more time to work out and things like that. And a big part of that is adjusting my diet. Noom allows you to do that while still enjoying the things that you eat.It's not about having a drastic change in your diet. It's about little changes that add up to meeting your wellness goals. Noom's flexible program focuses on the progress instead of perfection, the science behind Noom. Active first-time new users lose on average of 15 pounds in 15 weeks, and 95% of customers say Noom is a good long-term solution. So if you've had a hard time meeting your wellness goals, look to Noom to help change that up. Stay focused on what's important to Youm with Noom's psychology and biology-based approach. Sign up for your new trial today at noom. Com. That's N-O-O-M. Com.And check out Noom's first ever cookbook, The Noom Kitchen, for 100 healthy and delicious recipes to promote better living. Available to buy now wherever books are sold. Based on three and a half year study, I've actively engaged Noom users with minimum starting BMI of 25. Individual results may vary. Visit our website for more information.How's it going?Hi, my name is Popy, and I'm 27 years old.How can we help Popy?I am calling in just because my mom is not excited about my wedding, and I don't know what to do.Why isn't your mom excited about your wedding?I don't know. It's a bit of a long story, but I can try and explain it as best as possible.Okay.My fiancé and I got engaged in April, and we've been planning our wedding. We went on a trip together in May and just been trying to figure out what we want to do for our venue and things like that. But prior to that, two months before, my sister got engaged, and she She's six years younger than me. And it seems like my mom is all wrapped up in her wedding and her planning and everything like that, and I don't seem to be having the same feedback. And yeah, so I'm just trying to figure out the best way to try and navigate . It seems like she's very welcoming to him, but then when he's not there, she often says things like she barely knows him, she doesn't feel close with him at all. Even though she's met his parents multiple times, he has been over a a million times to their house. They always have these big lunches or dinners, and they always want him to come over. And we've been together for almost five years at this point, so I don't understand why she seems like she doesn't know him.Does she not make an effort to ask him questions about his life or anything?She does a little bit, but it all feels very surface level and nothing more deeper than that. It's more like, how's How's your day going? How's your job? Things like that.When's your sister's wedding? When's yours?My sister's wedding is coming up at the end of August. My wedding is on June of next year.Okay. Do you think maybe part of that is just because your sister's wedding is just around the corner, or then maybe mentally your mom's like, I don't have the bandwidth for two. Then do you think maybe she'll immerse herself into yours?I do agree with that. However, I wanted to buy my wedding dress, wanted to get my venue booked, the big chunky stuff just to give some time, and then we can be excited about my sister's wedding, and then I can carry on after that. However, she wouldn't want to come to look at the venue with me. She didn't want to come to... I had a florist appointment. She didn't want to come to that. She did come to my wedding dress shopping. However, right before we went in the store, she asked what my budget was, and I told her that I talked with the bridal store before. They were super accommodating. They said there would be no issues. And she just laughed at me and said there would be no way I would find a dress for that in my budget. And then I started crying right before the bridal appointment, but managed to muster through. And I had a second appointment that she did come with, and I did find the dress that I loved. However, I guess I naively had hoped that she buy the dress, and she didn't. She didn't want to help me with it at all.However, she did for my sister's whole bridal appointment and everything. Bought it, no questions asked. Even during the appointment, had said, What if we up the budget a little bit? And requested the big veil, things like that. So while, yes, I agree that maybe she's a little overwhelmed with my sister's wedding, I just feel like I'm not getting the same experience.When You said you're not doing it the traditional way, but your sister is.What does that mean?My fiance and I are living together. My parents are fairly religious. They're not happy about that. My sister, her and her fiance, are living apart until they get married. They're getting married in a church. I wanted to get married outside, and we found this beautiful outdoor location. they're going to burn hell or some crazy shit. They justify how they treat you out of their own fear of you not doing it wrong. Or maybe it's how you look to their friends, but they don't really want to say that. So it's easier just to blame it on you not following their religious beliefs. But I think it might have to be that direct with your mom. Almost like, Hey, why aren't you... You almost make her answer the question as to why she is going about your wedding very differently than your sister's.I also think it's important to say, I need my mom right now. I need you to be my mom, and this is one of the most important experiences of my life, and I need you to be a part of it. I want you to be a part of it.You can say, I know I don't always make choices that you agree with, but I still, to Nalea's point, I want to feel like you're proud of me as a person. Lead with love. Tell your mom and dad Listen, I know I'm doing things that maybe you don't agree with, but who I am as a person, I owe to all... Whatever you do love about me, whatever I am doing that makes you proud, I owe it to you guys. You almost soften her up by, how could she be mad at you for what you're not doing when you're giving her all the credit for all the things that she does appreciate about you, which I'm sure is still a lot, even though she's not showing it. I wonder if you just say that will almost make her, we'll soften her up a little bit. At At the end of the day, though, if your mom doesn't come around, I think you just have to know in your heart that this is about you and your husband and your fiance. If your mom's going to be disappointed that you live with him before you get married, that's her problem.At the end of the day, you can't let your mom's disappointment and shame affect your wedding because you guys will get through this eventually. When? I don't know. Hopefully before your wedding, but you'll get through it. She's your mom. She loves you, you love her. But what you don't want is to make this even worse by acting as if your mom is going to make or break how much you enjoy your wedding.Yeah. No, that makes total sense. I know I've been trying to work through it already. Even with my therapist, I We've hammered this conversation hundreds of times at this point, and I'm just like, I'm having a hard time coping with it. I guess part of me was already a little fearful that she was doing this. And now that my fears are coming true, when my fiance moved in, My parents had offered to help with the move, but then instead, in the same sentence, they offered to help with the move, but then they booked a trip that they would be gone exactly the week he was moving in. So it was a little bit of a back-handed thing. And I'm just worried that something similar like that might happen leading up to the wedding. Not that they will still probably show up, I would think. But I don't know how to make myself not not care about that on my wedding. I want to be able to be free from that fear and just be excited about it with me and my fiance.I don't think you need to cope with it right now. I think you cope with it after your mom confirms your feelings and says, Yeah, you know what? I don't support you living with him, and I don't want to help you if she were to say those things. That's when I think you decide to cope with it. I think right now you just need to go to her and have this conversation of, I need you to be here for me. I need to be here, here for me like you are for my sister. I want that. I need that. You're my mom. I just don't see a world in which she denies you.Yes, I hope so. I'm going to definitely try that. I'm going to try just trying to be a little more direct and make her answer the question and maybe get some more clarity that way, and maybe that'll clear the air a little bit. I think there's a difference between your parents, skipping out on helping you move in and not coming to your wedding.No one likes to help anyone move.Me and even. Even if it is the boyfriend, they don't necessarily agree with your decision.But I do think maybe just saying, Mom, are you and dad thinking about missing my wedding? Because it almost sounds crazy. I'm assuming your mom would be like, What do you mean? But I'm just like, You didn't do this, you didn't do that. You just really make me feel like you might not. You really make me feel like you're disappointed in me, and that hurts. I want to make you proud and blah, blah, blah. Guilt her. She's got a guilt in you. I think give her a little bit of her own medicine with love, of course.Yes. No, for sure. That makes total sense.All right. Was this helpful at all?Yes. No, it was. I guess I've been trying to come at it from too soft of a perspective, maybe, just because I'm not wanting to have that fight or not wanting to be confrontational. But I guess I can be slightly confrontational. I saw him say to Daniella, I can't even stand up right now. I saw that, yeah. And then I saw him bringing her breakfast in the morning, kissing that was on at movie night.I'm trying to remember all of it because there was a lot, but the handshake was on at movie night. The shower with you was on at movie night. So there was a lot of movies about us. And yeah, it was definitely hard to watch. But I'm glad that I guess I'm glad that I saw it there. I don't know. Yeah, it's just that movie night was tough.I feel like you honestly have probably seen the worst of it.Oh, don't tell me that because I'm going to watch and be like, Oh, shit.In fairness to Aaron, even Cordell, it's like… If I were Aaron's brother trying to have his back, it is Love Island. It is Casa Amor. You guys keep talking about being open and things like that. It is It's not even honestly what went down at Casa Amor. It's how he handled it.I agree.I think it's the biggest concern for people who care about you and just see the potential in the both of you. Yeah, it's him not apologizing for the Leah stuff. It's the shit like that where it's just like, I think everyone's biggest fear is for you to have a relationship with Aaron, it's going to be very much on his terms. I think people hate that for you.Yeah. I feel like just going back to what you said, I feel like he keeps saying, I'm sorry that I did that. I'm like, Don't be sorry for acting the way you wanted to act. You wanted to do that. You felt like you wanted to do that in that moment. I'm not mad at him for not going into a situation and being open, but him being open does not necessarily mean that you allow another girl to give you an erection. Sorry, that's not being open in my book. It's like that is just completely taking a huge shit right on my head.We're the impression that being open is like you're open to having conversations with people. You're open to getting to know them.You need to get to know them. You need to get to know the way they care. Is that getting to know someone? Like, okay, shit. I think I must have missed out on that, Erin. Being flirt Flirtatious is not a personality trait.Yeah. It's not. I've been a flirt my whole life, especially when I was single. Then when I met Nelly, you know what I stopped doing? Stop being a flirt. You can choose to not be a flirt. It's not one of those things where it's just like, oh, well, physical touch is my love language, and I can't help but not flirt. Because I've always been a flirt, now that I'm in a relationship with someone, me being flirtatious with her doesn't mean I'm being flirtatious.It's like, what? I was saying that. I was like, wait, so you're such a flirt. You're love language because he I'm going to say that his love language is physical touch. I'm like, so if we're at a bar someday and a girl comes up to you, are you going to physically want to kiss her?It's also called love language.Or touch her in any way. It's called love language.Thank you. It's not called friend language. It's not called-For everyone language. Stranger language. It's not stranger language.Yeah. Oh, gosh. Wish me love.Kayla, thank you for being so fun to talk with and so honest. I know this is Having me. It's been an up and down experience for you. Not always easy, but you've always been real. You've always been authentic. Even coming here, knowing that you are in a relationship with Aaron, I know it's not easy for you to talk about, especially knowing that even us, we have critiques of the relationship and of Erin, but we think the world of you. Thank you so much. We know you're going to be okay and you're an absolute star, and just keep being you. Thank you. I don't know what's going to happen with you two, but I am confident that you are going to be just fine.Thank you. Yeah. Really scared, but thank you. I appreciate all of your advice because I need it. I do. I need all the advice I can get. But yeah, thank you so much for having me.But not from anyone on social media.Yeah, no. Can't look at the negative comments, but yes.Well, even the positive ones are actually dangerous because if you believe those, you have to believe the negative ones. Yeah, so true. I mean, who knows? Who knows what's going to happen with you two? There's a reunion.I know. I'm like, watch him and I not be together in Then at the reunion, after I watch things back, I'm like, Are we not going to work? Then at the reunion, I'm going to have to see him. Jeez, yeah. You're going to be fine. You're going to be fine. You're going to be fine. You're going to be fine.You're going to be fine. You're much stronger than you Yeah.Thank you.I think we just all want to see you realize it.That's all. Maybe next time I talk with you guys, I'll actually watch the show and I'll have more insight on how I feel about everything. I would definitely watch it before the reunion. Oh, I have to. Yeah, I have to. Now that I have Peacock, I can go on and watch it. But the last thing, I'm just trying to live in the moment and live my life a little bit right now instead of sitting in a hotel room or sitting at home and watching what I just lived in for the last two months. Amen. Totally understandable.Just don't let anyone, including your boyfriend, question your instincts because you got some good ones.Thank you guys. Thank you so much.Well, we thank Kayla for coming on, and thank you guys for listening. If you just tuned in for Kyla, we're here multiple times a week. We got our Asnic episodes every Monday. If you like to text me in office hours, it's a lot of people calling in with relationship problems, whether it's family problems, boyfriend/girlfriend problems, everything under the sun, and we offer advice. It's a lot of fun. Plus, we got Reality Recap every Tuesday and Thursday, and this going deeper on Wednesdays when we have stars like Kayler. Thanks for listening. Tell your friends, subscribe, all that fun stuff. We'll see you tomorrow. Bye.

her?

I have. Leah and I actually left Fiji together. We went to the airport together, and the first thing I told her was the entire situation and why my friend was saying that and where that came fromwere like, Let's introduce ourselves. Let's make them feel welcome. You just watch your man be all over this girl. But you're like, You know what? No, I want to go to her and I want to make her feel welcome. That's who you are as a person.Thank you. I really appreciate that. I don't want to get lot of things like that. Yeah, it's hard. I'm not used to being in this light at all. Yeah, I feel like this opportunity has shown me so much about... I've learned so much about myself, and I know I'm just going to keep growing and learning because of this, and I think it's only going to make me stronger.I'm so sorry that you've had... It's fucked up, and it never gets easier to read hateful things about yourself, and it's not right. And it's so fucked up that people think it's okay to say that knowing you're going to see it and you're going to read it or people you love are going to see that and going to read it. But I just want you to focus on the people who do know you and care about you and love you. And all of that is such outside noise that none of it actually matters because these people flip so fucking easily. Leah or anyone can say, Oh, my God, well, I don't even like peanut butter.And It would be like, Fuck you. Are you fucking kidding?You don't like fucking peanut butter?We're done.This is how these people work. It's just like, Don't take any of this shit to heart.Your biggest fans will be the quickest to turn on you. Not because they're not fans anymore, because they're disappointed. You know what I'm saying? They're easily triggered.You win them back. Yeah. I've had a lot of my... It feels so weird even saying fans. The people who enjoyed watching me, they're like, I loved you until this moment. Now I can't fucking stand you.I'm like, beautiful. They're just, it's a projection.I just feel like what my mom says, and she's like, Just remember, the people who love you know who you are as a person, and we're not disappointed in you. Stop beating yourself up about it. I think that's what I was most concerned about is leaving here because I am so emotional. Since I wear my heart on my sleeve, I was really worried that I would take all the aftermath stuff really badly and harshly. I'm glad that I am. I'm not beating myself as much as I thought I would talk about everything. That's awesome.Well, I love talking to you. Again, I think you're going to be all right. You're a star. Thank you. We love to do this with our guests like you. We have this thing called texting office hours. Someone's about call in. They're struggling with a relationship. We offer advice as friends. You can put your psychology degree on. We learn through our mistakes. I think you're going to do great. I think you're going to offer great advice. Are you ready to do it?Let's do it. Yes.Like I always say, shavings make a pile. Habits are important, people. That's why I'm excited to talk about Noom. Noom is a psychology-based program that helps you reach your health goals, whatever your health goals are. Maybe you want more energy, maybe you want to gain muscle mass, maybe you want to lose weight. It doesn't matter. There are different ways to get healthy. But the important thing is Noom is helping you meet those health goals, whatever they are. Noom uses psychology. It also takes into account your unique biological factors, which also affect you reaching your health goals. The program helps you understand the science behind your eating choices and why you have cravings. Noom helps you build new habits for a healthier lifestyle. For me, it's all about me maintaining my current health, my current weight. I'm not as active as I used to be. I have a lot more going on with the new baby. So it's really important for me to maintain my current health that I had when I was single and had more time to work out and things like that. And a big part of that is adjusting my diet. Noom allows you to do that while still enjoying the things that you eat.It's not about having a drastic change in your diet. It's about little changes that add up to meeting your wellness goals. Noom's flexible program focuses on the progress instead of perfection, the science behind Noom. Active first-time new users lose on average of 15 pounds in 15 weeks, and 95% of customers say Noom is a good long-term solution. So if you've had a hard time meeting your wellness goals, look to Noom to help change that up. Stay focused on what's important to Youm with Noom's psychology and biology-based approach. Sign up for your new trial today at noom. Com. That's N-O-O-M. Com.And check out Noom's first ever cookbook, The Noom Kitchen, for 100 healthy and delicious recipes to promote better living. Available to buy now wherever books are sold. Based on three and a half year study, I've actively engaged Noom users with minimum starting BMI of 25. Individual results may vary. Visit our website for more information.How's it going?Hi, my name is Popy, and I'm 27 years old.How can we help Popy?I am calling in just because my mom is not excited about my wedding, and I don't know what to do.Why isn't your mom excited about your wedding?I don't know. It's a bit of a long story, but I can try and explain it as best as possible.Okay.My fiancé and I got engaged in April, and we've been planning our wedding. We went on a trip together in May and just been trying to figure out what we want to do for our venue and things like that. But prior to that, two months before, my sister got engaged, and she She's six years younger than me. And it seems like my mom is all wrapped up in her wedding and her planning and everything like that, and I don't seem to be having the same feedback. And yeah, so I'm just trying to figure out the best way to try and navigate . It seems like she's very welcoming to him, but then when he's not there, she often says things like she barely knows him, she doesn't feel close with him at all. Even though she's met his parents multiple times, he has been over a a million times to their house. They always have these big lunches or dinners, and they always want him to come over. And we've been together for almost five years at this point, so I don't understand why she seems like she doesn't know him.Does she not make an effort to ask him questions about his life or anything?She does a little bit, but it all feels very surface level and nothing more deeper than that. It's more like, how's How's your day going? How's your job? Things like that.When's your sister's wedding? When's yours?My sister's wedding is coming up at the end of August. My wedding is on June of next year.Okay. Do you think maybe part of that is just because your sister's wedding is just around the corner, or then maybe mentally your mom's like, I don't have the bandwidth for two. Then do you think maybe she'll immerse herself into yours?I do agree with that. However, I wanted to buy my wedding dress, wanted to get my venue booked, the big chunky stuff just to give some time, and then we can be excited about my sister's wedding, and then I can carry on after that. However, she wouldn't want to come to look at the venue with me. She didn't want to come to... I had a florist appointment. She didn't want to come to that. She did come to my wedding dress shopping. However, right before we went in the store, she asked what my budget was, and I told her that I talked with the bridal store before. They were super accommodating. They said there would be no issues. And she just laughed at me and said there would be no way I would find a dress for that in my budget. And then I started crying right before the bridal appointment, but managed to muster through. And I had a second appointment that she did come with, and I did find the dress that I loved. However, I guess I naively had hoped that she buy the dress, and she didn't. She didn't want to help me with it at all.However, she did for my sister's whole bridal appointment and everything. Bought it, no questions asked. Even during the appointment, had said, What if we up the budget a little bit? And requested the big veil, things like that. So while, yes, I agree that maybe she's a little overwhelmed with my sister's wedding, I just feel like I'm not getting the same experience.When You said you're not doing it the traditional way, but your sister is.What does that mean?My fiance and I are living together. My parents are fairly religious. They're not happy about that. My sister, her and her fiance, are living apart until they get married. They're getting married in a church. I wanted to get married outside, and we found this beautiful outdoor location. they're going to burn hell or some crazy shit. They justify how they treat you out of their own fear of you not doing it wrong. Or maybe it's how you look to their friends, but they don't really want to say that. So it's easier just to blame it on you not following their religious beliefs. But I think it might have to be that direct with your mom. Almost like, Hey, why aren't you... You almost make her answer the question as to why she is going about your wedding very differently than your sister's.I also think it's important to say, I need my mom right now. I need you to be my mom, and this is one of the most important experiences of my life, and I need you to be a part of it. I want you to be a part of it.You can say, I know I don't always make choices that you agree with, but I still, to Nalea's point, I want to feel like you're proud of me as a person. Lead with love. Tell your mom and dad Listen, I know I'm doing things that maybe you don't agree with, but who I am as a person, I owe to all... Whatever you do love about me, whatever I am doing that makes you proud, I owe it to you guys. You almost soften her up by, how could she be mad at you for what you're not doing when you're giving her all the credit for all the things that she does appreciate about you, which I'm sure is still a lot, even though she's not showing it. I wonder if you just say that will almost make her, we'll soften her up a little bit. At At the end of the day, though, if your mom doesn't come around, I think you just have to know in your heart that this is about you and your husband and your fiance. If your mom's going to be disappointed that you live with him before you get married, that's her problem.At the end of the day, you can't let your mom's disappointment and shame affect your wedding because you guys will get through this eventually. When? I don't know. Hopefully before your wedding, but you'll get through it. She's your mom. She loves you, you love her. But what you don't want is to make this even worse by acting as if your mom is going to make or break how much you enjoy your wedding.Yeah. No, that makes total sense. I know I've been trying to work through it already. Even with my therapist, I We've hammered this conversation hundreds of times at this point, and I'm just like, I'm having a hard time coping with it. I guess part of me was already a little fearful that she was doing this. And now that my fears are coming true, when my fiance moved in, My parents had offered to help with the move, but then instead, in the same sentence, they offered to help with the move, but then they booked a trip that they would be gone exactly the week he was moving in. So it was a little bit of a back-handed thing. And I'm just worried that something similar like that might happen leading up to the wedding. Not that they will still probably show up, I would think. But I don't know how to make myself not not care about that on my wedding. I want to be able to be free from that fear and just be excited about it with me and my fiance.I don't think you need to cope with it right now. I think you cope with it after your mom confirms your feelings and says, Yeah, you know what? I don't support you living with him, and I don't want to help you if she were to say those things. That's when I think you decide to cope with it. I think right now you just need to go to her and have this conversation of, I need you to be here for me. I need to be here, here for me like you are for my sister. I want that. I need that. You're my mom. I just don't see a world in which she denies you.Yes, I hope so. I'm going to definitely try that. I'm going to try just trying to be a little more direct and make her answer the question and maybe get some more clarity that way, and maybe that'll clear the air a little bit. I think there's a difference between your parents, skipping out on helping you move in and not coming to your wedding.No one likes to help anyone move.Me and even. Even if it is the boyfriend, they don't necessarily agree with your decision.But I do think maybe just saying, Mom, are you and dad thinking about missing my wedding? Because it almost sounds crazy. I'm assuming your mom would be like, What do you mean? But I'm just like, You didn't do this, you didn't do that. You just really make me feel like you might not. You really make me feel like you're disappointed in me, and that hurts. I want to make you proud and blah, blah, blah. Guilt her. She's got a guilt in you. I think give her a little bit of her own medicine with love, of course.Yes. No, for sure. That makes total sense.All right. Was this helpful at all?Yes. No, it was. I guess I've been trying to come at it from too soft of a perspective, maybe, just because I'm not wanting to have that fight or not wanting to be confrontational. But I guess I can be slightly confrontational. I saw him say to Daniella, I can't even stand up right now. I saw that, yeah. And then I saw him bringing her breakfast in the morning, kissing that was on at movie night.I'm trying to remember all of it because there was a lot, but the handshake was on at movie night. The shower with you was on at movie night. So there was a lot of movies about us. And yeah, it was definitely hard to watch. But I'm glad that I guess I'm glad that I saw it there. I don't know. Yeah, it's just that movie night was tough.I feel like you honestly have probably seen the worst of it.Oh, don't tell me that because I'm going to watch and be like, Oh, shit.In fairness to Aaron, even Cordell, it's like… If I were Aaron's brother trying to have his back, it is Love Island. It is Casa Amor. You guys keep talking about being open and things like that. It is It's not even honestly what went down at Casa Amor. It's how he handled it.I agree.I think it's the biggest concern for people who care about you and just see the potential in the both of you. Yeah, it's him not apologizing for the Leah stuff. It's the shit like that where it's just like, I think everyone's biggest fear is for you to have a relationship with Aaron, it's going to be very much on his terms. I think people hate that for you.Yeah. I feel like just going back to what you said, I feel like he keeps saying, I'm sorry that I did that. I'm like, Don't be sorry for acting the way you wanted to act. You wanted to do that. You felt like you wanted to do that in that moment. I'm not mad at him for not going into a situation and being open, but him being open does not necessarily mean that you allow another girl to give you an erection. Sorry, that's not being open in my book. It's like that is just completely taking a huge shit right on my head.We're the impression that being open is like you're open to having conversations with people. You're open to getting to know them.You need to get to know them. You need to get to know the way they care. Is that getting to know someone? Like, okay, shit. I think I must have missed out on that, Erin. Being flirt Flirtatious is not a personality trait.Yeah. It's not. I've been a flirt my whole life, especially when I was single. Then when I met Nelly, you know what I stopped doing? Stop being a flirt. You can choose to not be a flirt. It's not one of those things where it's just like, oh, well, physical touch is my love language, and I can't help but not flirt. Because I've always been a flirt, now that I'm in a relationship with someone, me being flirtatious with her doesn't mean I'm being flirtatious.It's like, what? I was saying that. I was like, wait, so you're such a flirt. You're love language because he I'm going to say that his love language is physical touch. I'm like, so if we're at a bar someday and a girl comes up to you, are you going to physically want to kiss her?It's also called love language.Or touch her in any way. It's called love language.Thank you. It's not called friend language. It's not called-For everyone language. Stranger language. It's not stranger language.Yeah. Oh, gosh. Wish me love.Kayla, thank you for being so fun to talk with and so honest. I know this is Having me. It's been an up and down experience for you. Not always easy, but you've always been real. You've always been authentic. Even coming here, knowing that you are in a relationship with Aaron, I know it's not easy for you to talk about, especially knowing that even us, we have critiques of the relationship and of Erin, but we think the world of you. Thank you so much. We know you're going to be okay and you're an absolute star, and just keep being you. Thank you. I don't know what's going to happen with you two, but I am confident that you are going to be just fine.Thank you. Yeah. Really scared, but thank you. I appreciate all of your advice because I need it. I do. I need all the advice I can get. But yeah, thank you so much for having me.But not from anyone on social media.Yeah, no. Can't look at the negative comments, but yes.Well, even the positive ones are actually dangerous because if you believe those, you have to believe the negative ones. Yeah, so true. I mean, who knows? Who knows what's going to happen with you two? There's a reunion.I know. I'm like, watch him and I not be together in Then at the reunion, after I watch things back, I'm like, Are we not going to work? Then at the reunion, I'm going to have to see him. Jeez, yeah. You're going to be fine. You're going to be fine. You're going to be fine. You're going to be fine.You're going to be fine. You're much stronger than you Yeah.Thank you.I think we just all want to see you realize it.That's all. Maybe next time I talk with you guys, I'll actually watch the show and I'll have more insight on how I feel about everything. I would definitely watch it before the reunion. Oh, I have to. Yeah, I have to. Now that I have Peacock, I can go on and watch it. But the last thing, I'm just trying to live in the moment and live my life a little bit right now instead of sitting in a hotel room or sitting at home and watching what I just lived in for the last two months. Amen. Totally understandable.Just don't let anyone, including your boyfriend, question your instincts because you got some good ones.Thank you guys. Thank you so much.Well, we thank Kayla for coming on, and thank you guys for listening. If you just tuned in for Kyla, we're here multiple times a week. We got our Asnic episodes every Monday. If you like to text me in office hours, it's a lot of people calling in with relationship problems, whether it's family problems, boyfriend/girlfriend problems, everything under the sun, and we offer advice. It's a lot of fun. Plus, we got Reality Recap every Tuesday and Thursday, and this going deeper on Wednesdays when we have stars like Kayler. Thanks for listening. Tell your friends, subscribe, all that fun stuff. We'll see you tomorrow. Bye.

were like, Let's introduce ourselves. Let's make them feel welcome. You just watch your man be all over this girl. But you're like, You know what? No, I want to go to her and I want to make her feel welcome. That's who you are as a person.

Thank you. I really appreciate that. I don't want to get lot of things like that. Yeah, it's hard. I'm not used to being in this light at all. Yeah, I feel like this opportunity has shown me so much about... I've learned so much about myself, and I know I'm just going to keep growing and learning because of this, and I think it's only going to make me stronger.I'm so sorry that you've had... It's fucked up, and it never gets easier to read hateful things about yourself, and it's not right. And it's so fucked up that people think it's okay to say that knowing you're going to see it and you're going to read it or people you love are going to see that and going to read it. But I just want you to focus on the people who do know you and care about you and love you. And all of that is such outside noise that none of it actually matters because these people flip so fucking easily. Leah or anyone can say, Oh, my God, well, I don't even like peanut butter.And It would be like, Fuck you. Are you fucking kidding?You don't like fucking peanut butter?We're done.This is how these people work. It's just like, Don't take any of this shit to heart.Your biggest fans will be the quickest to turn on you. Not because they're not fans anymore, because they're disappointed. You know what I'm saying? They're easily triggered.You win them back. Yeah. I've had a lot of my... It feels so weird even saying fans. The people who enjoyed watching me, they're like, I loved you until this moment. Now I can't fucking stand you.I'm like, beautiful. They're just, it's a projection.I just feel like what my mom says, and she's like, Just remember, the people who love you know who you are as a person, and we're not disappointed in you. Stop beating yourself up about it. I think that's what I was most concerned about is leaving here because I am so emotional. Since I wear my heart on my sleeve, I was really worried that I would take all the aftermath stuff really badly and harshly. I'm glad that I am. I'm not beating myself as much as I thought I would talk about everything. That's awesome.Well, I love talking to you. Again, I think you're going to be all right. You're a star. Thank you. We love to do this with our guests like you. We have this thing called texting office hours. Someone's about call in. They're struggling with a relationship. We offer advice as friends. You can put your psychology degree on. We learn through our mistakes. I think you're going to do great. I think you're going to offer great advice. Are you ready to do it?Let's do it. Yes.Like I always say, shavings make a pile. Habits are important, people. That's why I'm excited to talk about Noom. Noom is a psychology-based program that helps you reach your health goals, whatever your health goals are. Maybe you want more energy, maybe you want to gain muscle mass, maybe you want to lose weight. It doesn't matter. There are different ways to get healthy. But the important thing is Noom is helping you meet those health goals, whatever they are. Noom uses psychology. It also takes into account your unique biological factors, which also affect you reaching your health goals. The program helps you understand the science behind your eating choices and why you have cravings. Noom helps you build new habits for a healthier lifestyle. For me, it's all about me maintaining my current health, my current weight. I'm not as active as I used to be. I have a lot more going on with the new baby. So it's really important for me to maintain my current health that I had when I was single and had more time to work out and things like that. And a big part of that is adjusting my diet. Noom allows you to do that while still enjoying the things that you eat.It's not about having a drastic change in your diet. It's about little changes that add up to meeting your wellness goals. Noom's flexible program focuses on the progress instead of perfection, the science behind Noom. Active first-time new users lose on average of 15 pounds in 15 weeks, and 95% of customers say Noom is a good long-term solution. So if you've had a hard time meeting your wellness goals, look to Noom to help change that up. Stay focused on what's important to Youm with Noom's psychology and biology-based approach. Sign up for your new trial today at noom. Com. That's N-O-O-M. Com.And check out Noom's first ever cookbook, The Noom Kitchen, for 100 healthy and delicious recipes to promote better living. Available to buy now wherever books are sold. Based on three and a half year study, I've actively engaged Noom users with minimum starting BMI of 25. Individual results may vary. Visit our website for more information.How's it going?Hi, my name is Popy, and I'm 27 years old.How can we help Popy?I am calling in just because my mom is not excited about my wedding, and I don't know what to do.Why isn't your mom excited about your wedding?I don't know. It's a bit of a long story, but I can try and explain it as best as possible.Okay.My fiancé and I got engaged in April, and we've been planning our wedding. We went on a trip together in May and just been trying to figure out what we want to do for our venue and things like that. But prior to that, two months before, my sister got engaged, and she She's six years younger than me. And it seems like my mom is all wrapped up in her wedding and her planning and everything like that, and I don't seem to be having the same feedback. And yeah, so I'm just trying to figure out the best way to try and navigate . It seems like she's very welcoming to him, but then when he's not there, she often says things like she barely knows him, she doesn't feel close with him at all. Even though she's met his parents multiple times, he has been over a a million times to their house. They always have these big lunches or dinners, and they always want him to come over. And we've been together for almost five years at this point, so I don't understand why she seems like she doesn't know him.Does she not make an effort to ask him questions about his life or anything?She does a little bit, but it all feels very surface level and nothing more deeper than that. It's more like, how's How's your day going? How's your job? Things like that.When's your sister's wedding? When's yours?My sister's wedding is coming up at the end of August. My wedding is on June of next year.Okay. Do you think maybe part of that is just because your sister's wedding is just around the corner, or then maybe mentally your mom's like, I don't have the bandwidth for two. Then do you think maybe she'll immerse herself into yours?I do agree with that. However, I wanted to buy my wedding dress, wanted to get my venue booked, the big chunky stuff just to give some time, and then we can be excited about my sister's wedding, and then I can carry on after that. However, she wouldn't want to come to look at the venue with me. She didn't want to come to... I had a florist appointment. She didn't want to come to that. She did come to my wedding dress shopping. However, right before we went in the store, she asked what my budget was, and I told her that I talked with the bridal store before. They were super accommodating. They said there would be no issues. And she just laughed at me and said there would be no way I would find a dress for that in my budget. And then I started crying right before the bridal appointment, but managed to muster through. And I had a second appointment that she did come with, and I did find the dress that I loved. However, I guess I naively had hoped that she buy the dress, and she didn't. She didn't want to help me with it at all.However, she did for my sister's whole bridal appointment and everything. Bought it, no questions asked. Even during the appointment, had said, What if we up the budget a little bit? And requested the big veil, things like that. So while, yes, I agree that maybe she's a little overwhelmed with my sister's wedding, I just feel like I'm not getting the same experience.When You said you're not doing it the traditional way, but your sister is.What does that mean?My fiance and I are living together. My parents are fairly religious. They're not happy about that. My sister, her and her fiance, are living apart until they get married. They're getting married in a church. I wanted to get married outside, and we found this beautiful outdoor location. they're going to burn hell or some crazy shit. They justify how they treat you out of their own fear of you not doing it wrong. Or maybe it's how you look to their friends, but they don't really want to say that. So it's easier just to blame it on you not following their religious beliefs. But I think it might have to be that direct with your mom. Almost like, Hey, why aren't you... You almost make her answer the question as to why she is going about your wedding very differently than your sister's.I also think it's important to say, I need my mom right now. I need you to be my mom, and this is one of the most important experiences of my life, and I need you to be a part of it. I want you to be a part of it.You can say, I know I don't always make choices that you agree with, but I still, to Nalea's point, I want to feel like you're proud of me as a person. Lead with love. Tell your mom and dad Listen, I know I'm doing things that maybe you don't agree with, but who I am as a person, I owe to all... Whatever you do love about me, whatever I am doing that makes you proud, I owe it to you guys. You almost soften her up by, how could she be mad at you for what you're not doing when you're giving her all the credit for all the things that she does appreciate about you, which I'm sure is still a lot, even though she's not showing it. I wonder if you just say that will almost make her, we'll soften her up a little bit. At At the end of the day, though, if your mom doesn't come around, I think you just have to know in your heart that this is about you and your husband and your fiance. If your mom's going to be disappointed that you live with him before you get married, that's her problem.At the end of the day, you can't let your mom's disappointment and shame affect your wedding because you guys will get through this eventually. When? I don't know. Hopefully before your wedding, but you'll get through it. She's your mom. She loves you, you love her. But what you don't want is to make this even worse by acting as if your mom is going to make or break how much you enjoy your wedding.Yeah. No, that makes total sense. I know I've been trying to work through it already. Even with my therapist, I We've hammered this conversation hundreds of times at this point, and I'm just like, I'm having a hard time coping with it. I guess part of me was already a little fearful that she was doing this. And now that my fears are coming true, when my fiance moved in, My parents had offered to help with the move, but then instead, in the same sentence, they offered to help with the move, but then they booked a trip that they would be gone exactly the week he was moving in. So it was a little bit of a back-handed thing. And I'm just worried that something similar like that might happen leading up to the wedding. Not that they will still probably show up, I would think. But I don't know how to make myself not not care about that on my wedding. I want to be able to be free from that fear and just be excited about it with me and my fiance.I don't think you need to cope with it right now. I think you cope with it after your mom confirms your feelings and says, Yeah, you know what? I don't support you living with him, and I don't want to help you if she were to say those things. That's when I think you decide to cope with it. I think right now you just need to go to her and have this conversation of, I need you to be here for me. I need to be here, here for me like you are for my sister. I want that. I need that. You're my mom. I just don't see a world in which she denies you.Yes, I hope so. I'm going to definitely try that. I'm going to try just trying to be a little more direct and make her answer the question and maybe get some more clarity that way, and maybe that'll clear the air a little bit. I think there's a difference between your parents, skipping out on helping you move in and not coming to your wedding.No one likes to help anyone move.Me and even. Even if it is the boyfriend, they don't necessarily agree with your decision.But I do think maybe just saying, Mom, are you and dad thinking about missing my wedding? Because it almost sounds crazy. I'm assuming your mom would be like, What do you mean? But I'm just like, You didn't do this, you didn't do that. You just really make me feel like you might not. You really make me feel like you're disappointed in me, and that hurts. I want to make you proud and blah, blah, blah. Guilt her. She's got a guilt in you. I think give her a little bit of her own medicine with love, of course.Yes. No, for sure. That makes total sense.All right. Was this helpful at all?Yes. No, it was. I guess I've been trying to come at it from too soft of a perspective, maybe, just because I'm not wanting to have that fight or not wanting to be confrontational. But I guess I can be slightly confrontational. I saw him say to Daniella, I can't even stand up right now. I saw that, yeah. And then I saw him bringing her breakfast in the morning, kissing that was on at movie night.I'm trying to remember all of it because there was a lot, but the handshake was on at movie night. The shower with you was on at movie night. So there was a lot of movies about us. And yeah, it was definitely hard to watch. But I'm glad that I guess I'm glad that I saw it there. I don't know. Yeah, it's just that movie night was tough.I feel like you honestly have probably seen the worst of it.Oh, don't tell me that because I'm going to watch and be like, Oh, shit.In fairness to Aaron, even Cordell, it's like… If I were Aaron's brother trying to have his back, it is Love Island. It is Casa Amor. You guys keep talking about being open and things like that. It is It's not even honestly what went down at Casa Amor. It's how he handled it.I agree.I think it's the biggest concern for people who care about you and just see the potential in the both of you. Yeah, it's him not apologizing for the Leah stuff. It's the shit like that where it's just like, I think everyone's biggest fear is for you to have a relationship with Aaron, it's going to be very much on his terms. I think people hate that for you.Yeah. I feel like just going back to what you said, I feel like he keeps saying, I'm sorry that I did that. I'm like, Don't be sorry for acting the way you wanted to act. You wanted to do that. You felt like you wanted to do that in that moment. I'm not mad at him for not going into a situation and being open, but him being open does not necessarily mean that you allow another girl to give you an erection. Sorry, that's not being open in my book. It's like that is just completely taking a huge shit right on my head.We're the impression that being open is like you're open to having conversations with people. You're open to getting to know them.You need to get to know them. You need to get to know the way they care. Is that getting to know someone? Like, okay, shit. I think I must have missed out on that, Erin. Being flirt Flirtatious is not a personality trait.Yeah. It's not. I've been a flirt my whole life, especially when I was single. Then when I met Nelly, you know what I stopped doing? Stop being a flirt. You can choose to not be a flirt. It's not one of those things where it's just like, oh, well, physical touch is my love language, and I can't help but not flirt. Because I've always been a flirt, now that I'm in a relationship with someone, me being flirtatious with her doesn't mean I'm being flirtatious.It's like, what? I was saying that. I was like, wait, so you're such a flirt. You're love language because he I'm going to say that his love language is physical touch. I'm like, so if we're at a bar someday and a girl comes up to you, are you going to physically want to kiss her?It's also called love language.Or touch her in any way. It's called love language.Thank you. It's not called friend language. It's not called-For everyone language. Stranger language. It's not stranger language.Yeah. Oh, gosh. Wish me love.Kayla, thank you for being so fun to talk with and so honest. I know this is Having me. It's been an up and down experience for you. Not always easy, but you've always been real. You've always been authentic. Even coming here, knowing that you are in a relationship with Aaron, I know it's not easy for you to talk about, especially knowing that even us, we have critiques of the relationship and of Erin, but we think the world of you. Thank you so much. We know you're going to be okay and you're an absolute star, and just keep being you. Thank you. I don't know what's going to happen with you two, but I am confident that you are going to be just fine.Thank you. Yeah. Really scared, but thank you. I appreciate all of your advice because I need it. I do. I need all the advice I can get. But yeah, thank you so much for having me.But not from anyone on social media.Yeah, no. Can't look at the negative comments, but yes.Well, even the positive ones are actually dangerous because if you believe those, you have to believe the negative ones. Yeah, so true. I mean, who knows? Who knows what's going to happen with you two? There's a reunion.I know. I'm like, watch him and I not be together in Then at the reunion, after I watch things back, I'm like, Are we not going to work? Then at the reunion, I'm going to have to see him. Jeez, yeah. You're going to be fine. You're going to be fine. You're going to be fine. You're going to be fine.You're going to be fine. You're much stronger than you Yeah.Thank you.I think we just all want to see you realize it.That's all. Maybe next time I talk with you guys, I'll actually watch the show and I'll have more insight on how I feel about everything. I would definitely watch it before the reunion. Oh, I have to. Yeah, I have to. Now that I have Peacock, I can go on and watch it. But the last thing, I'm just trying to live in the moment and live my life a little bit right now instead of sitting in a hotel room or sitting at home and watching what I just lived in for the last two months. Amen. Totally understandable.Just don't let anyone, including your boyfriend, question your instincts because you got some good ones.Thank you guys. Thank you so much.Well, we thank Kayla for coming on, and thank you guys for listening. If you just tuned in for Kyla, we're here multiple times a week. We got our Asnic episodes every Monday. If you like to text me in office hours, it's a lot of people calling in with relationship problems, whether it's family problems, boyfriend/girlfriend problems, everything under the sun, and we offer advice. It's a lot of fun. Plus, we got Reality Recap every Tuesday and Thursday, and this going deeper on Wednesdays when we have stars like Kayler. Thanks for listening. Tell your friends, subscribe, all that fun stuff. We'll see you tomorrow. Bye.

lot of things like that. Yeah, it's hard. I'm not used to being in this light at all. Yeah, I feel like this opportunity has shown me so much about... I've learned so much about myself, and I know I'm just going to keep growing and learning because of this, and I think it's only going to make me stronger.

I'm so sorry that you've had... It's fucked up, and it never gets easier to read hateful things about yourself, and it's not right. And it's so fucked up that people think it's okay to say that knowing you're going to see it and you're going to read it or people you love are going to see that and going to read it. But I just want you to focus on the people who do know you and care about you and love you. And all of that is such outside noise that none of it actually matters because these people flip so fucking easily. Leah or anyone can say, Oh, my God, well, I don't even like peanut butter.

And It would be like, Fuck you. Are you fucking kidding?

You don't like fucking peanut butter?

We're done.

This is how these people work. It's just like, Don't take any of this shit to heart.

Your biggest fans will be the quickest to turn on you. Not because they're not fans anymore, because they're disappointed. You know what I'm saying? They're easily triggered.

You win them back. Yeah. I've had a lot of my... It feels so weird even saying fans. The people who enjoyed watching me, they're like, I loved you until this moment. Now I can't fucking stand you.

I'm like, beautiful. They're just, it's a projection.

I just feel like what my mom says, and she's like, Just remember, the people who love you know who you are as a person, and we're not disappointed in you. Stop beating yourself up about it. I think that's what I was most concerned about is leaving here because I am so emotional. Since I wear my heart on my sleeve, I was really worried that I would take all the aftermath stuff really badly and harshly. I'm glad that I am. I'm not beating myself as much as I thought I would talk about everything. That's awesome.

Well, I love talking to you. Again, I think you're going to be all right. You're a star. Thank you. We love to do this with our guests like you. We have this thing called texting office hours. Someone's about call in. They're struggling with a relationship. We offer advice as friends. You can put your psychology degree on. We learn through our mistakes. I think you're going to do great. I think you're going to offer great advice. Are you ready to do it?

Let's do it. Yes.

Like I always say, shavings make a pile. Habits are important, people. That's why I'm excited to talk about Noom. Noom is a psychology-based program that helps you reach your health goals, whatever your health goals are. Maybe you want more energy, maybe you want to gain muscle mass, maybe you want to lose weight. It doesn't matter. There are different ways to get healthy. But the important thing is Noom is helping you meet those health goals, whatever they are. Noom uses psychology. It also takes into account your unique biological factors, which also affect you reaching your health goals. The program helps you understand the science behind your eating choices and why you have cravings. Noom helps you build new habits for a healthier lifestyle. For me, it's all about me maintaining my current health, my current weight. I'm not as active as I used to be. I have a lot more going on with the new baby. So it's really important for me to maintain my current health that I had when I was single and had more time to work out and things like that. And a big part of that is adjusting my diet. Noom allows you to do that while still enjoying the things that you eat.

It's not about having a drastic change in your diet. It's about little changes that add up to meeting your wellness goals. Noom's flexible program focuses on the progress instead of perfection, the science behind Noom. Active first-time new users lose on average of 15 pounds in 15 weeks, and 95% of customers say Noom is a good long-term solution. So if you've had a hard time meeting your wellness goals, look to Noom to help change that up. Stay focused on what's important to Youm with Noom's psychology and biology-based approach. Sign up for your new trial today at noom. Com. That's N-O-O-M. Com.

And check out Noom's first ever cookbook, The Noom Kitchen, for 100 healthy and delicious recipes to promote better living. Available to buy now wherever books are sold. Based on three and a half year study, I've actively engaged Noom users with minimum starting BMI of 25. Individual results may vary. Visit our website for more information.

How's it going?

Hi, my name is Popy, and I'm 27 years old.

How can we help Popy?

I am calling in just because my mom is not excited about my wedding, and I don't know what to do.

Why isn't your mom excited about your wedding?

I don't know. It's a bit of a long story, but I can try and explain it as best as possible.

Okay.

My fiancé and I got engaged in April, and we've been planning our wedding. We went on a trip together in May and just been trying to figure out what we want to do for our venue and things like that. But prior to that, two months before, my sister got engaged, and she She's six years younger than me. And it seems like my mom is all wrapped up in her wedding and her planning and everything like that, and I don't seem to be having the same feedback. And yeah, so I'm just trying to figure out the best way to try and navigate . It seems like she's very welcoming to him, but then when he's not there, she often says things like she barely knows him, she doesn't feel close with him at all. Even though she's met his parents multiple times, he has been over a a million times to their house. They always have these big lunches or dinners, and they always want him to come over. And we've been together for almost five years at this point, so I don't understand why she seems like she doesn't know him.Does she not make an effort to ask him questions about his life or anything?She does a little bit, but it all feels very surface level and nothing more deeper than that. It's more like, how's How's your day going? How's your job? Things like that.When's your sister's wedding? When's yours?My sister's wedding is coming up at the end of August. My wedding is on June of next year.Okay. Do you think maybe part of that is just because your sister's wedding is just around the corner, or then maybe mentally your mom's like, I don't have the bandwidth for two. Then do you think maybe she'll immerse herself into yours?I do agree with that. However, I wanted to buy my wedding dress, wanted to get my venue booked, the big chunky stuff just to give some time, and then we can be excited about my sister's wedding, and then I can carry on after that. However, she wouldn't want to come to look at the venue with me. She didn't want to come to... I had a florist appointment. She didn't want to come to that. She did come to my wedding dress shopping. However, right before we went in the store, she asked what my budget was, and I told her that I talked with the bridal store before. They were super accommodating. They said there would be no issues. And she just laughed at me and said there would be no way I would find a dress for that in my budget. And then I started crying right before the bridal appointment, but managed to muster through. And I had a second appointment that she did come with, and I did find the dress that I loved. However, I guess I naively had hoped that she buy the dress, and she didn't. She didn't want to help me with it at all.However, she did for my sister's whole bridal appointment and everything. Bought it, no questions asked. Even during the appointment, had said, What if we up the budget a little bit? And requested the big veil, things like that. So while, yes, I agree that maybe she's a little overwhelmed with my sister's wedding, I just feel like I'm not getting the same experience.When You said you're not doing it the traditional way, but your sister is.What does that mean?My fiance and I are living together. My parents are fairly religious. They're not happy about that. My sister, her and her fiance, are living apart until they get married. They're getting married in a church. I wanted to get married outside, and we found this beautiful outdoor location. they're going to burn hell or some crazy shit. They justify how they treat you out of their own fear of you not doing it wrong. Or maybe it's how you look to their friends, but they don't really want to say that. So it's easier just to blame it on you not following their religious beliefs. But I think it might have to be that direct with your mom. Almost like, Hey, why aren't you... You almost make her answer the question as to why she is going about your wedding very differently than your sister's.I also think it's important to say, I need my mom right now. I need you to be my mom, and this is one of the most important experiences of my life, and I need you to be a part of it. I want you to be a part of it.You can say, I know I don't always make choices that you agree with, but I still, to Nalea's point, I want to feel like you're proud of me as a person. Lead with love. Tell your mom and dad Listen, I know I'm doing things that maybe you don't agree with, but who I am as a person, I owe to all... Whatever you do love about me, whatever I am doing that makes you proud, I owe it to you guys. You almost soften her up by, how could she be mad at you for what you're not doing when you're giving her all the credit for all the things that she does appreciate about you, which I'm sure is still a lot, even though she's not showing it. I wonder if you just say that will almost make her, we'll soften her up a little bit. At At the end of the day, though, if your mom doesn't come around, I think you just have to know in your heart that this is about you and your husband and your fiance. If your mom's going to be disappointed that you live with him before you get married, that's her problem.At the end of the day, you can't let your mom's disappointment and shame affect your wedding because you guys will get through this eventually. When? I don't know. Hopefully before your wedding, but you'll get through it. She's your mom. She loves you, you love her. But what you don't want is to make this even worse by acting as if your mom is going to make or break how much you enjoy your wedding.Yeah. No, that makes total sense. I know I've been trying to work through it already. Even with my therapist, I We've hammered this conversation hundreds of times at this point, and I'm just like, I'm having a hard time coping with it. I guess part of me was already a little fearful that she was doing this. And now that my fears are coming true, when my fiance moved in, My parents had offered to help with the move, but then instead, in the same sentence, they offered to help with the move, but then they booked a trip that they would be gone exactly the week he was moving in. So it was a little bit of a back-handed thing. And I'm just worried that something similar like that might happen leading up to the wedding. Not that they will still probably show up, I would think. But I don't know how to make myself not not care about that on my wedding. I want to be able to be free from that fear and just be excited about it with me and my fiance.I don't think you need to cope with it right now. I think you cope with it after your mom confirms your feelings and says, Yeah, you know what? I don't support you living with him, and I don't want to help you if she were to say those things. That's when I think you decide to cope with it. I think right now you just need to go to her and have this conversation of, I need you to be here for me. I need to be here, here for me like you are for my sister. I want that. I need that. You're my mom. I just don't see a world in which she denies you.Yes, I hope so. I'm going to definitely try that. I'm going to try just trying to be a little more direct and make her answer the question and maybe get some more clarity that way, and maybe that'll clear the air a little bit. I think there's a difference between your parents, skipping out on helping you move in and not coming to your wedding.No one likes to help anyone move.Me and even. Even if it is the boyfriend, they don't necessarily agree with your decision.But I do think maybe just saying, Mom, are you and dad thinking about missing my wedding? Because it almost sounds crazy. I'm assuming your mom would be like, What do you mean? But I'm just like, You didn't do this, you didn't do that. You just really make me feel like you might not. You really make me feel like you're disappointed in me, and that hurts. I want to make you proud and blah, blah, blah. Guilt her. She's got a guilt in you. I think give her a little bit of her own medicine with love, of course.Yes. No, for sure. That makes total sense.All right. Was this helpful at all?Yes. No, it was. I guess I've been trying to come at it from too soft of a perspective, maybe, just because I'm not wanting to have that fight or not wanting to be confrontational. But I guess I can be slightly confrontational. I saw him say to Daniella, I can't even stand up right now. I saw that, yeah. And then I saw him bringing her breakfast in the morning, kissing that was on at movie night.I'm trying to remember all of it because there was a lot, but the handshake was on at movie night. The shower with you was on at movie night. So there was a lot of movies about us. And yeah, it was definitely hard to watch. But I'm glad that I guess I'm glad that I saw it there. I don't know. Yeah, it's just that movie night was tough.I feel like you honestly have probably seen the worst of it.Oh, don't tell me that because I'm going to watch and be like, Oh, shit.In fairness to Aaron, even Cordell, it's like… If I were Aaron's brother trying to have his back, it is Love Island. It is Casa Amor. You guys keep talking about being open and things like that. It is It's not even honestly what went down at Casa Amor. It's how he handled it.I agree.I think it's the biggest concern for people who care about you and just see the potential in the both of you. Yeah, it's him not apologizing for the Leah stuff. It's the shit like that where it's just like, I think everyone's biggest fear is for you to have a relationship with Aaron, it's going to be very much on his terms. I think people hate that for you.Yeah. I feel like just going back to what you said, I feel like he keeps saying, I'm sorry that I did that. I'm like, Don't be sorry for acting the way you wanted to act. You wanted to do that. You felt like you wanted to do that in that moment. I'm not mad at him for not going into a situation and being open, but him being open does not necessarily mean that you allow another girl to give you an erection. Sorry, that's not being open in my book. It's like that is just completely taking a huge shit right on my head.We're the impression that being open is like you're open to having conversations with people. You're open to getting to know them.You need to get to know them. You need to get to know the way they care. Is that getting to know someone? Like, okay, shit. I think I must have missed out on that, Erin. Being flirt Flirtatious is not a personality trait.Yeah. It's not. I've been a flirt my whole life, especially when I was single. Then when I met Nelly, you know what I stopped doing? Stop being a flirt. You can choose to not be a flirt. It's not one of those things where it's just like, oh, well, physical touch is my love language, and I can't help but not flirt. Because I've always been a flirt, now that I'm in a relationship with someone, me being flirtatious with her doesn't mean I'm being flirtatious.It's like, what? I was saying that. I was like, wait, so you're such a flirt. You're love language because he I'm going to say that his love language is physical touch. I'm like, so if we're at a bar someday and a girl comes up to you, are you going to physically want to kiss her?It's also called love language.Or touch her in any way. It's called love language.Thank you. It's not called friend language. It's not called-For everyone language. Stranger language. It's not stranger language.Yeah. Oh, gosh. Wish me love.Kayla, thank you for being so fun to talk with and so honest. I know this is Having me. It's been an up and down experience for you. Not always easy, but you've always been real. You've always been authentic. Even coming here, knowing that you are in a relationship with Aaron, I know it's not easy for you to talk about, especially knowing that even us, we have critiques of the relationship and of Erin, but we think the world of you. Thank you so much. We know you're going to be okay and you're an absolute star, and just keep being you. Thank you. I don't know what's going to happen with you two, but I am confident that you are going to be just fine.Thank you. Yeah. Really scared, but thank you. I appreciate all of your advice because I need it. I do. I need all the advice I can get. But yeah, thank you so much for having me.But not from anyone on social media.Yeah, no. Can't look at the negative comments, but yes.Well, even the positive ones are actually dangerous because if you believe those, you have to believe the negative ones. Yeah, so true. I mean, who knows? Who knows what's going to happen with you two? There's a reunion.I know. I'm like, watch him and I not be together in Then at the reunion, after I watch things back, I'm like, Are we not going to work? Then at the reunion, I'm going to have to see him. Jeez, yeah. You're going to be fine. You're going to be fine. You're going to be fine. You're going to be fine.You're going to be fine. You're much stronger than you Yeah.Thank you.I think we just all want to see you realize it.That's all. Maybe next time I talk with you guys, I'll actually watch the show and I'll have more insight on how I feel about everything. I would definitely watch it before the reunion. Oh, I have to. Yeah, I have to. Now that I have Peacock, I can go on and watch it. But the last thing, I'm just trying to live in the moment and live my life a little bit right now instead of sitting in a hotel room or sitting at home and watching what I just lived in for the last two months. Amen. Totally understandable.Just don't let anyone, including your boyfriend, question your instincts because you got some good ones.Thank you guys. Thank you so much.Well, we thank Kayla for coming on, and thank you guys for listening. If you just tuned in for Kyla, we're here multiple times a week. We got our Asnic episodes every Monday. If you like to text me in office hours, it's a lot of people calling in with relationship problems, whether it's family problems, boyfriend/girlfriend problems, everything under the sun, and we offer advice. It's a lot of fun. Plus, we got Reality Recap every Tuesday and Thursday, and this going deeper on Wednesdays when we have stars like Kayler. Thanks for listening. Tell your friends, subscribe, all that fun stuff. We'll see you tomorrow. Bye.

. It seems like she's very welcoming to him, but then when he's not there, she often says things like she barely knows him, she doesn't feel close with him at all. Even though she's met his parents multiple times, he has been over a a million times to their house. They always have these big lunches or dinners, and they always want him to come over. And we've been together for almost five years at this point, so I don't understand why she seems like she doesn't know him.

Does she not make an effort to ask him questions about his life or anything?

She does a little bit, but it all feels very surface level and nothing more deeper than that. It's more like, how's How's your day going? How's your job? Things like that.

When's your sister's wedding? When's yours?

My sister's wedding is coming up at the end of August. My wedding is on June of next year.

Okay. Do you think maybe part of that is just because your sister's wedding is just around the corner, or then maybe mentally your mom's like, I don't have the bandwidth for two. Then do you think maybe she'll immerse herself into yours?

I do agree with that. However, I wanted to buy my wedding dress, wanted to get my venue booked, the big chunky stuff just to give some time, and then we can be excited about my sister's wedding, and then I can carry on after that. However, she wouldn't want to come to look at the venue with me. She didn't want to come to... I had a florist appointment. She didn't want to come to that. She did come to my wedding dress shopping. However, right before we went in the store, she asked what my budget was, and I told her that I talked with the bridal store before. They were super accommodating. They said there would be no issues. And she just laughed at me and said there would be no way I would find a dress for that in my budget. And then I started crying right before the bridal appointment, but managed to muster through. And I had a second appointment that she did come with, and I did find the dress that I loved. However, I guess I naively had hoped that she buy the dress, and she didn't. She didn't want to help me with it at all.

However, she did for my sister's whole bridal appointment and everything. Bought it, no questions asked. Even during the appointment, had said, What if we up the budget a little bit? And requested the big veil, things like that. So while, yes, I agree that maybe she's a little overwhelmed with my sister's wedding, I just feel like I'm not getting the same experience.

When You said you're not doing it the traditional way, but your sister is.

What does that mean?

My fiance and I are living together. My parents are fairly religious. They're not happy about that. My sister, her and her fiance, are living apart until they get married. They're getting married in a church. I wanted to get married outside, and we found this beautiful outdoor location. they're going to burn hell or some crazy shit. They justify how they treat you out of their own fear of you not doing it wrong. Or maybe it's how you look to their friends, but they don't really want to say that. So it's easier just to blame it on you not following their religious beliefs. But I think it might have to be that direct with your mom. Almost like, Hey, why aren't you... You almost make her answer the question as to why she is going about your wedding very differently than your sister's.I also think it's important to say, I need my mom right now. I need you to be my mom, and this is one of the most important experiences of my life, and I need you to be a part of it. I want you to be a part of it.You can say, I know I don't always make choices that you agree with, but I still, to Nalea's point, I want to feel like you're proud of me as a person. Lead with love. Tell your mom and dad Listen, I know I'm doing things that maybe you don't agree with, but who I am as a person, I owe to all... Whatever you do love about me, whatever I am doing that makes you proud, I owe it to you guys. You almost soften her up by, how could she be mad at you for what you're not doing when you're giving her all the credit for all the things that she does appreciate about you, which I'm sure is still a lot, even though she's not showing it. I wonder if you just say that will almost make her, we'll soften her up a little bit. At At the end of the day, though, if your mom doesn't come around, I think you just have to know in your heart that this is about you and your husband and your fiance. If your mom's going to be disappointed that you live with him before you get married, that's her problem.At the end of the day, you can't let your mom's disappointment and shame affect your wedding because you guys will get through this eventually. When? I don't know. Hopefully before your wedding, but you'll get through it. She's your mom. She loves you, you love her. But what you don't want is to make this even worse by acting as if your mom is going to make or break how much you enjoy your wedding.Yeah. No, that makes total sense. I know I've been trying to work through it already. Even with my therapist, I We've hammered this conversation hundreds of times at this point, and I'm just like, I'm having a hard time coping with it. I guess part of me was already a little fearful that she was doing this. And now that my fears are coming true, when my fiance moved in, My parents had offered to help with the move, but then instead, in the same sentence, they offered to help with the move, but then they booked a trip that they would be gone exactly the week he was moving in. So it was a little bit of a back-handed thing. And I'm just worried that something similar like that might happen leading up to the wedding. Not that they will still probably show up, I would think. But I don't know how to make myself not not care about that on my wedding. I want to be able to be free from that fear and just be excited about it with me and my fiance.I don't think you need to cope with it right now. I think you cope with it after your mom confirms your feelings and says, Yeah, you know what? I don't support you living with him, and I don't want to help you if she were to say those things. That's when I think you decide to cope with it. I think right now you just need to go to her and have this conversation of, I need you to be here for me. I need to be here, here for me like you are for my sister. I want that. I need that. You're my mom. I just don't see a world in which she denies you.Yes, I hope so. I'm going to definitely try that. I'm going to try just trying to be a little more direct and make her answer the question and maybe get some more clarity that way, and maybe that'll clear the air a little bit. I think there's a difference between your parents, skipping out on helping you move in and not coming to your wedding.No one likes to help anyone move.Me and even. Even if it is the boyfriend, they don't necessarily agree with your decision.But I do think maybe just saying, Mom, are you and dad thinking about missing my wedding? Because it almost sounds crazy. I'm assuming your mom would be like, What do you mean? But I'm just like, You didn't do this, you didn't do that. You just really make me feel like you might not. You really make me feel like you're disappointed in me, and that hurts. I want to make you proud and blah, blah, blah. Guilt her. She's got a guilt in you. I think give her a little bit of her own medicine with love, of course.Yes. No, for sure. That makes total sense.All right. Was this helpful at all?Yes. No, it was. I guess I've been trying to come at it from too soft of a perspective, maybe, just because I'm not wanting to have that fight or not wanting to be confrontational. But I guess I can be slightly confrontational. I saw him say to Daniella, I can't even stand up right now. I saw that, yeah. And then I saw him bringing her breakfast in the morning, kissing that was on at movie night.I'm trying to remember all of it because there was a lot, but the handshake was on at movie night. The shower with you was on at movie night. So there was a lot of movies about us. And yeah, it was definitely hard to watch. But I'm glad that I guess I'm glad that I saw it there. I don't know. Yeah, it's just that movie night was tough.I feel like you honestly have probably seen the worst of it.Oh, don't tell me that because I'm going to watch and be like, Oh, shit.In fairness to Aaron, even Cordell, it's like… If I were Aaron's brother trying to have his back, it is Love Island. It is Casa Amor. You guys keep talking about being open and things like that. It is It's not even honestly what went down at Casa Amor. It's how he handled it.I agree.I think it's the biggest concern for people who care about you and just see the potential in the both of you. Yeah, it's him not apologizing for the Leah stuff. It's the shit like that where it's just like, I think everyone's biggest fear is for you to have a relationship with Aaron, it's going to be very much on his terms. I think people hate that for you.Yeah. I feel like just going back to what you said, I feel like he keeps saying, I'm sorry that I did that. I'm like, Don't be sorry for acting the way you wanted to act. You wanted to do that. You felt like you wanted to do that in that moment. I'm not mad at him for not going into a situation and being open, but him being open does not necessarily mean that you allow another girl to give you an erection. Sorry, that's not being open in my book. It's like that is just completely taking a huge shit right on my head.We're the impression that being open is like you're open to having conversations with people. You're open to getting to know them.You need to get to know them. You need to get to know the way they care. Is that getting to know someone? Like, okay, shit. I think I must have missed out on that, Erin. Being flirt Flirtatious is not a personality trait.Yeah. It's not. I've been a flirt my whole life, especially when I was single. Then when I met Nelly, you know what I stopped doing? Stop being a flirt. You can choose to not be a flirt. It's not one of those things where it's just like, oh, well, physical touch is my love language, and I can't help but not flirt. Because I've always been a flirt, now that I'm in a relationship with someone, me being flirtatious with her doesn't mean I'm being flirtatious.It's like, what? I was saying that. I was like, wait, so you're such a flirt. You're love language because he I'm going to say that his love language is physical touch. I'm like, so if we're at a bar someday and a girl comes up to you, are you going to physically want to kiss her?It's also called love language.Or touch her in any way. It's called love language.Thank you. It's not called friend language. It's not called-For everyone language. Stranger language. It's not stranger language.Yeah. Oh, gosh. Wish me love.Kayla, thank you for being so fun to talk with and so honest. I know this is Having me. It's been an up and down experience for you. Not always easy, but you've always been real. You've always been authentic. Even coming here, knowing that you are in a relationship with Aaron, I know it's not easy for you to talk about, especially knowing that even us, we have critiques of the relationship and of Erin, but we think the world of you. Thank you so much. We know you're going to be okay and you're an absolute star, and just keep being you. Thank you. I don't know what's going to happen with you two, but I am confident that you are going to be just fine.Thank you. Yeah. Really scared, but thank you. I appreciate all of your advice because I need it. I do. I need all the advice I can get. But yeah, thank you so much for having me.But not from anyone on social media.Yeah, no. Can't look at the negative comments, but yes.Well, even the positive ones are actually dangerous because if you believe those, you have to believe the negative ones. Yeah, so true. I mean, who knows? Who knows what's going to happen with you two? There's a reunion.I know. I'm like, watch him and I not be together in Then at the reunion, after I watch things back, I'm like, Are we not going to work? Then at the reunion, I'm going to have to see him. Jeez, yeah. You're going to be fine. You're going to be fine. You're going to be fine. You're going to be fine.You're going to be fine. You're much stronger than you Yeah.Thank you.I think we just all want to see you realize it.That's all. Maybe next time I talk with you guys, I'll actually watch the show and I'll have more insight on how I feel about everything. I would definitely watch it before the reunion. Oh, I have to. Yeah, I have to. Now that I have Peacock, I can go on and watch it. But the last thing, I'm just trying to live in the moment and live my life a little bit right now instead of sitting in a hotel room or sitting at home and watching what I just lived in for the last two months. Amen. Totally understandable.Just don't let anyone, including your boyfriend, question your instincts because you got some good ones.Thank you guys. Thank you so much.Well, we thank Kayla for coming on, and thank you guys for listening. If you just tuned in for Kyla, we're here multiple times a week. We got our Asnic episodes every Monday. If you like to text me in office hours, it's a lot of people calling in with relationship problems, whether it's family problems, boyfriend/girlfriend problems, everything under the sun, and we offer advice. It's a lot of fun. Plus, we got Reality Recap every Tuesday and Thursday, and this going deeper on Wednesdays when we have stars like Kayler. Thanks for listening. Tell your friends, subscribe, all that fun stuff. We'll see you tomorrow. Bye.

they're going to burn hell or some crazy shit. They justify how they treat you out of their own fear of you not doing it wrong. Or maybe it's how you look to their friends, but they don't really want to say that. So it's easier just to blame it on you not following their religious beliefs. But I think it might have to be that direct with your mom. Almost like, Hey, why aren't you... You almost make her answer the question as to why she is going about your wedding very differently than your sister's.

I also think it's important to say, I need my mom right now. I need you to be my mom, and this is one of the most important experiences of my life, and I need you to be a part of it. I want you to be a part of it.

You can say, I know I don't always make choices that you agree with, but I still, to Nalea's point, I want to feel like you're proud of me as a person. Lead with love. Tell your mom and dad Listen, I know I'm doing things that maybe you don't agree with, but who I am as a person, I owe to all... Whatever you do love about me, whatever I am doing that makes you proud, I owe it to you guys. You almost soften her up by, how could she be mad at you for what you're not doing when you're giving her all the credit for all the things that she does appreciate about you, which I'm sure is still a lot, even though she's not showing it. I wonder if you just say that will almost make her, we'll soften her up a little bit. At At the end of the day, though, if your mom doesn't come around, I think you just have to know in your heart that this is about you and your husband and your fiance. If your mom's going to be disappointed that you live with him before you get married, that's her problem.

At the end of the day, you can't let your mom's disappointment and shame affect your wedding because you guys will get through this eventually. When? I don't know. Hopefully before your wedding, but you'll get through it. She's your mom. She loves you, you love her. But what you don't want is to make this even worse by acting as if your mom is going to make or break how much you enjoy your wedding.

Yeah. No, that makes total sense. I know I've been trying to work through it already. Even with my therapist, I We've hammered this conversation hundreds of times at this point, and I'm just like, I'm having a hard time coping with it. I guess part of me was already a little fearful that she was doing this. And now that my fears are coming true, when my fiance moved in, My parents had offered to help with the move, but then instead, in the same sentence, they offered to help with the move, but then they booked a trip that they would be gone exactly the week he was moving in. So it was a little bit of a back-handed thing. And I'm just worried that something similar like that might happen leading up to the wedding. Not that they will still probably show up, I would think. But I don't know how to make myself not not care about that on my wedding. I want to be able to be free from that fear and just be excited about it with me and my fiance.

I don't think you need to cope with it right now. I think you cope with it after your mom confirms your feelings and says, Yeah, you know what? I don't support you living with him, and I don't want to help you if she were to say those things. That's when I think you decide to cope with it. I think right now you just need to go to her and have this conversation of, I need you to be here for me. I need to be here, here for me like you are for my sister. I want that. I need that. You're my mom. I just don't see a world in which she denies you.

Yes, I hope so. I'm going to definitely try that. I'm going to try just trying to be a little more direct and make her answer the question and maybe get some more clarity that way, and maybe that'll clear the air a little bit. I think there's a difference between your parents, skipping out on helping you move in and not coming to your wedding.

No one likes to help anyone move.

Me and even. Even if it is the boyfriend, they don't necessarily agree with your decision.

But I do think maybe just saying, Mom, are you and dad thinking about missing my wedding? Because it almost sounds crazy. I'm assuming your mom would be like, What do you mean? But I'm just like, You didn't do this, you didn't do that. You just really make me feel like you might not. You really make me feel like you're disappointed in me, and that hurts. I want to make you proud and blah, blah, blah. Guilt her. She's got a guilt in you. I think give her a little bit of her own medicine with love, of course.

Yes. No, for sure. That makes total sense.

All right. Was this helpful at all?

Yes. No, it was. I guess I've been trying to come at it from too soft of a perspective, maybe, just because I'm not wanting to have that fight or not wanting to be confrontational. But I guess I can be slightly confrontational. I saw him say to Daniella, I can't even stand up right now. I saw that, yeah. And then I saw him bringing her breakfast in the morning, kissing that was on at movie night.I'm trying to remember all of it because there was a lot, but the handshake was on at movie night. The shower with you was on at movie night. So there was a lot of movies about us. And yeah, it was definitely hard to watch. But I'm glad that I guess I'm glad that I saw it there. I don't know. Yeah, it's just that movie night was tough.I feel like you honestly have probably seen the worst of it.Oh, don't tell me that because I'm going to watch and be like, Oh, shit.In fairness to Aaron, even Cordell, it's like… If I were Aaron's brother trying to have his back, it is Love Island. It is Casa Amor. You guys keep talking about being open and things like that. It is It's not even honestly what went down at Casa Amor. It's how he handled it.I agree.I think it's the biggest concern for people who care about you and just see the potential in the both of you. Yeah, it's him not apologizing for the Leah stuff. It's the shit like that where it's just like, I think everyone's biggest fear is for you to have a relationship with Aaron, it's going to be very much on his terms. I think people hate that for you.Yeah. I feel like just going back to what you said, I feel like he keeps saying, I'm sorry that I did that. I'm like, Don't be sorry for acting the way you wanted to act. You wanted to do that. You felt like you wanted to do that in that moment. I'm not mad at him for not going into a situation and being open, but him being open does not necessarily mean that you allow another girl to give you an erection. Sorry, that's not being open in my book. It's like that is just completely taking a huge shit right on my head.We're the impression that being open is like you're open to having conversations with people. You're open to getting to know them.You need to get to know them. You need to get to know the way they care. Is that getting to know someone? Like, okay, shit. I think I must have missed out on that, Erin. Being flirt Flirtatious is not a personality trait.Yeah. It's not. I've been a flirt my whole life, especially when I was single. Then when I met Nelly, you know what I stopped doing? Stop being a flirt. You can choose to not be a flirt. It's not one of those things where it's just like, oh, well, physical touch is my love language, and I can't help but not flirt. Because I've always been a flirt, now that I'm in a relationship with someone, me being flirtatious with her doesn't mean I'm being flirtatious.It's like, what? I was saying that. I was like, wait, so you're such a flirt. You're love language because he I'm going to say that his love language is physical touch. I'm like, so if we're at a bar someday and a girl comes up to you, are you going to physically want to kiss her?It's also called love language.Or touch her in any way. It's called love language.Thank you. It's not called friend language. It's not called-For everyone language. Stranger language. It's not stranger language.Yeah. Oh, gosh. Wish me love.Kayla, thank you for being so fun to talk with and so honest. I know this is Having me. It's been an up and down experience for you. Not always easy, but you've always been real. You've always been authentic. Even coming here, knowing that you are in a relationship with Aaron, I know it's not easy for you to talk about, especially knowing that even us, we have critiques of the relationship and of Erin, but we think the world of you. Thank you so much. We know you're going to be okay and you're an absolute star, and just keep being you. Thank you. I don't know what's going to happen with you two, but I am confident that you are going to be just fine.Thank you. Yeah. Really scared, but thank you. I appreciate all of your advice because I need it. I do. I need all the advice I can get. But yeah, thank you so much for having me.But not from anyone on social media.Yeah, no. Can't look at the negative comments, but yes.Well, even the positive ones are actually dangerous because if you believe those, you have to believe the negative ones. Yeah, so true. I mean, who knows? Who knows what's going to happen with you two? There's a reunion.I know. I'm like, watch him and I not be together in Then at the reunion, after I watch things back, I'm like, Are we not going to work? Then at the reunion, I'm going to have to see him. Jeez, yeah. You're going to be fine. You're going to be fine. You're going to be fine. You're going to be fine.You're going to be fine. You're much stronger than you Yeah.Thank you.I think we just all want to see you realize it.That's all. Maybe next time I talk with you guys, I'll actually watch the show and I'll have more insight on how I feel about everything. I would definitely watch it before the reunion. Oh, I have to. Yeah, I have to. Now that I have Peacock, I can go on and watch it. But the last thing, I'm just trying to live in the moment and live my life a little bit right now instead of sitting in a hotel room or sitting at home and watching what I just lived in for the last two months. Amen. Totally understandable.Just don't let anyone, including your boyfriend, question your instincts because you got some good ones.Thank you guys. Thank you so much.Well, we thank Kayla for coming on, and thank you guys for listening. If you just tuned in for Kyla, we're here multiple times a week. We got our Asnic episodes every Monday. If you like to text me in office hours, it's a lot of people calling in with relationship problems, whether it's family problems, boyfriend/girlfriend problems, everything under the sun, and we offer advice. It's a lot of fun. Plus, we got Reality Recap every Tuesday and Thursday, and this going deeper on Wednesdays when we have stars like Kayler. Thanks for listening. Tell your friends, subscribe, all that fun stuff. We'll see you tomorrow. Bye.

. I saw him say to Daniella, I can't even stand up right now. I saw that, yeah. And then I saw him bringing her breakfast in the morning, kissing that was on at movie night.

I'm trying to remember all of it because there was a lot, but the handshake was on at movie night. The shower with you was on at movie night. So there was a lot of movies about us. And yeah, it was definitely hard to watch. But I'm glad that I guess I'm glad that I saw it there. I don't know. Yeah, it's just that movie night was tough.

I feel like you honestly have probably seen the worst of it.

Oh, don't tell me that because I'm going to watch and be like, Oh, shit.

In fairness to Aaron, even Cordell, it's like… If I were Aaron's brother trying to have his back, it is Love Island. It is Casa Amor. You guys keep talking about being open and things like that. It is It's not even honestly what went down at Casa Amor. It's how he handled it.

I agree.

I think it's the biggest concern for people who care about you and just see the potential in the both of you. Yeah, it's him not apologizing for the Leah stuff. It's the shit like that where it's just like, I think everyone's biggest fear is for you to have a relationship with Aaron, it's going to be very much on his terms. I think people hate that for you.

Yeah. I feel like just going back to what you said, I feel like he keeps saying, I'm sorry that I did that. I'm like, Don't be sorry for acting the way you wanted to act. You wanted to do that. You felt like you wanted to do that in that moment. I'm not mad at him for not going into a situation and being open, but him being open does not necessarily mean that you allow another girl to give you an erection. Sorry, that's not being open in my book. It's like that is just completely taking a huge shit right on my head.

We're the impression that being open is like you're open to having conversations with people. You're open to getting to know them.

You need to get to know them. You need to get to know the way they care. Is that getting to know someone? Like, okay, shit. I think I must have missed out on that, Erin. Being flirt Flirtatious is not a personality trait.

Yeah. It's not. I've been a flirt my whole life, especially when I was single. Then when I met Nelly, you know what I stopped doing? Stop being a flirt. You can choose to not be a flirt. It's not one of those things where it's just like, oh, well, physical touch is my love language, and I can't help but not flirt. Because I've always been a flirt, now that I'm in a relationship with someone, me being flirtatious with her doesn't mean I'm being flirtatious.

It's like, what? I was saying that. I was like, wait, so you're such a flirt. You're love language because he I'm going to say that his love language is physical touch. I'm like, so if we're at a bar someday and a girl comes up to you, are you going to physically want to kiss her?

It's also called love language.

Or touch her in any way. It's called love language.

Thank you. It's not called friend language. It's not called-For everyone language. Stranger language. It's not stranger language.

Yeah. Oh, gosh. Wish me love.

Kayla, thank you for being so fun to talk with and so honest. I know this is Having me. It's been an up and down experience for you. Not always easy, but you've always been real. You've always been authentic. Even coming here, knowing that you are in a relationship with Aaron, I know it's not easy for you to talk about, especially knowing that even us, we have critiques of the relationship and of Erin, but we think the world of you. Thank you so much. We know you're going to be okay and you're an absolute star, and just keep being you. Thank you. I don't know what's going to happen with you two, but I am confident that you are going to be just fine.

Thank you. Yeah. Really scared, but thank you. I appreciate all of your advice because I need it. I do. I need all the advice I can get. But yeah, thank you so much for having me.

But not from anyone on social media.

Yeah, no. Can't look at the negative comments, but yes.

Well, even the positive ones are actually dangerous because if you believe those, you have to believe the negative ones. Yeah, so true. I mean, who knows? Who knows what's going to happen with you two? There's a reunion.

I know. I'm like, watch him and I not be together in Then at the reunion, after I watch things back, I'm like, Are we not going to work? Then at the reunion, I'm going to have to see him. Jeez, yeah. You're going to be fine. You're going to be fine. You're going to be fine. You're going to be fine.

You're going to be fine. You're much stronger than you Yeah.

Thank you.

I think we just all want to see you realize it.

That's all. Maybe next time I talk with you guys, I'll actually watch the show and I'll have more insight on how I feel about everything. I would definitely watch it before the reunion. Oh, I have to. Yeah, I have to. Now that I have Peacock, I can go on and watch it. But the last thing, I'm just trying to live in the moment and live my life a little bit right now instead of sitting in a hotel room or sitting at home and watching what I just lived in for the last two months. Amen. Totally understandable.

Just don't let anyone, including your boyfriend, question your instincts because you got some good ones.

Thank you guys. Thank you so much.

Well, we thank Kayla for coming on, and thank you guys for listening. If you just tuned in for Kyla, we're here multiple times a week. We got our Asnic episodes every Monday. If you like to text me in office hours, it's a lot of people calling in with relationship problems, whether it's family problems, boyfriend/girlfriend problems, everything under the sun, and we offer advice. It's a lot of fun. Plus, we got Reality Recap every Tuesday and Thursday, and this going deeper on Wednesdays when we have stars like Kayler. Thanks for listening. Tell your friends, subscribe, all that fun stuff. We'll see you tomorrow. Bye.