New tour dates to announce. We've got Montreal,, on August 3, Portland, Maine, on August 8, and Spokane, Washington, on September 12. Tickets for these shows are on sale now. We also have tickets remaining in Belfast, Cork, Ireland, London, Idaho Falls, Salt Lake City, and Las Vegas, Nevada. You can get all tickets through theovan. Com/tou R. Make sure not to buy from secondary sites. New merch. We've got some new Gang Gang hoodies. We've just done crewnecks before. We've got some hoodies now available in Heather gray, Tan, Light Blue, and Duck Camo. Get all that and more at theovanstore. Com. That's the only merch site that is run by us. I know there's some other fictional ones out there. Just watch out for fakes. Thank you guys for your support. Today's guest is that midday meal maiden. She's that belly-filling bad girl between breakfast and dinner. A lunch lady, that's right, out of Cleveland, Ohio. She's been in the game more than 31 years. We're going to learn about all of it, the lunch, the children, the lifestyle. We want to thank all the lunch ladies that reached out and who we spoke with. We are grateful to have one in studio today, Lunch Lady Melissa Anselm.

Shine that light on me. I'll sit and tell you my stories. Shine on me. And I will find a song I'll be singing. I'm on the steps. I'm on the steps. Lunch lady Melissa, how are you? I'm doing great. Yeah. You feel good? Oh, yeah. I flew for the first time today.

Did you really? Yes.

I've never flown in my life. And I said, I never get on a plane. So thank you.

And you changed it all up?

I changed it all up in the last couple of days. I've been feeling I'm going to pee a lot, but that's all.

Really?

Yeah, because I'm nervous.

Oh, nerves, you think?

Yeah, just nerves.

I didn't know if you meant because of the altitude or something.

No, just because I was nervous because I was doing something.

Oh, yeah? Wow. Really? So it's been a while? A while.

I've never flown.

What's the highest you've ever been up then on a building or something on a slide?

Yeah, maybe a slide or a roller coaster or something.

Gosh. I know, right? And was it nerve-wracking?

It wasn't as bad, I guess, as what I thought. But yeah, I had to take a pill, just calm myself down. Oh, Oh, yeah.

I popped a couple of pills just to get through a tough episode of Cops before.

Well, this is true.

You know? Yeah. But thank you for coming in.

No, thank you so much. This was awesome. Thank you for having me.

Yeah, you're very welcome. Everybody has had lunch ladies in their lives. Oh, yeah. I mean, a lot of children, really, it goes from breastfed to bottle fed to being fed by a woman Yeah. Kind of vaguely covered in plastic. It's almost mom's third breast in a way. It's like you're that next liaison to sustenance for a child. True. How did you get into the game? How did you get into it?

I fell into it. I graduated, got pregnant, needed a job, and there I was. Then it You did? Really?

It worked out really good. You did, really? Yeah. Okay, so let's just go back. You graduated from what?

I graduated from high school.

Okay, you graduated from high school. Where are you? What part of the nation are you in?

I'm from Cleveland, Ohio.

Okay, you're from Ohio, and you graduate from high school, and then you get knocked up by a man.

Sure. Then I didn't really want the man that much, so then I moved out.

Oh, you moved out. So you separated. But how did you go from there? How did somebody go from getting knocked up by a guy?

I wanted to- To feed in children.

Yeah. I guess actually easily.

Well, I fell into the job, but when I started to do it, I was like, I really like it. And my son, then he started going to school there. Oh, okay. So he got to stay. When I was off, he was off. So it was so much easier to follow with him. Oh, that's perfect, huh? Oh, it was perfect. Oh, yeah. That was awesome. So we would have the summers off if I wanted to, or whenever on holidays, I didn't have to look for a babysitter.

Oh, that's pretty magical, huh?Yeah. And who got you the job there?

Oh, I just went down to- Overseeing lunch. I went down to the Board of Education, looked around, got some jobs, and then I just slowly moved up because I've been there so long.

Oh, they move you. So there's different...

Is there different- Yeah, there's different positions. You'd start out the really lunch lady, then you move up to the general prep, then the cook, then the manager, things like that.

Okay. You're in Cleveland. You have a child. Now, you start lunch ladying at the school where your child is. Take me through a typical shift of a lunch lady. They get there. Do you walk to school? Do you guys carpool? How does it work?

Well, I didn't have a car for a minute. So when I don't have a car, I would walk or sometimes somebody pick me up. But I have a car now, and we're actually in the We're transitioning there. They tore my school down, so I'm over at a swing site. So it's a little bit further, not too much further, and I drive there and back. But once I get the other one, really, I can walk down there if I had to. Oh, nice. So it's been perfect since I also have anxiety. I don't drive as much.

Driving is hard, huh?

I don't like the other people driving. If they could just stay away from me when I'm on the road, I'd be cool.

Well, yeah. Here's It's my thing. I've met a lot of people, right? Something's wrong with them. So all driving is, is those people are in cars now. Right. So it's not like they've changed suddenly because they're in a vehicle. Something's still wrong with them.

I said just because I'm nervous and don't drive a lot like that, still them guys, you know. Yeah. I live in the Lower Cleveland. So let me just say, some of the drivers aren't even supposed to be in those cars. Oh, yeah? Yeah, because they sold them.

Yeah, I guess.

Well, about 15 years ago, I did wake up one morning and my car got stolen out of my driveway. I was like, Dude, where's my car? It really wasn't there anymore. But they never found it. Oh, yeah? They must, yeah. They probably took parts off it and had a good time with it. But I was violated.

Well, what car was it?

It was an old Cutlass. Oh, yeah? Yeah, they wanted it bad in the... How those doors slam good and stuff. Yeah.

And look, let's say there's definitely brothers love a Cutlass.

I'll go on ahead. Somebody was Loving it.

Yeah. People's love a Cutlass. My dad had a Delta 88, and he also had a Cutlass. Bring that up. Bring up a Cutlass. Let's see the one that got stolen here from Lunch Lady Melissa. Do you know what your The model it was, Melissa?

Oh, goodness. I don't really remember that much.

But just ballpark it like 1940, 1990.

No, like 1990. We're talking like that. That looked like that white one over there. Yeah. Yeah. The doors just shot good and everything, but I didn't protect it.

Should have put the club or something on the wheel.

I got the club on it right now. I'm a beater in the driveway right now. Do you?

Heck, yeah. Yeah. My mom puts it on all the time.

Oh, yeah. I put it on. I don't care. Because now that they took it, I'm like, Oh, is it? Now, if they could get past all those, they could have it.

You've earned it, huh? Yeah, you earned it.

Take it.

Go Okay, so take me through a typical shift at work. You show up at what time do you get over there?

I get there at 7:30. Okay. We turn on all the warmers, oven, all that stuff. Start putting everything out, make hot breakfast. You had a breakfast? Yeah, we do a hot breakfast, and we also do a breakfast cart, so they could choose. If I have a pancake with a sausage in it, they could choose a hot. They're juiced milk, or they can go over to the cart and I have muffins, Blueberry muffins, lemon bread, cereal.

Maybe apple?

Oh, all the time. Fruits and stuff. Yeah. This new guy stepping it up with the fruit now. Oh, yeah. We got a new man in charge of food service. Some of the kids didn't even know what a kiwi and stuff was, but they do now. Oh, wow. Yeah, it was interesting. The other day, I would cut them all up and I'm like, Oh, I got to worry about it. Then I come over and look, and the kid's like, I'm And I'm like, Miss Melissa, I ate the whole kiwi. And I'm like, What? Why'd you eat that fuzz? And I was like, Oh, I didn't know you guys didn't know. So, yeah, it's crazy.

Yeah, I think. The first time you get that kiwi, you don't know how much to have or how much not to have.

Well, I know I wouldn't eat that outside, though.

I don't know that. I think it depends on what you're into. Well, yeah, that's true.

I mean, it's a fuzzy feeling.

Well, some people like a little bit of- You know, yeah. They like a different environment. Right. I get it. Yeah. Okay, so you get in there. You got the warmers on. Do you have a team? Do you guys have a team meeting or something? Well, no.

I'm the manager or whatever. Me and Shayla Cruz, that's my lady that cooks. We come in together and we do most of the work.

And that's breakfast work?

Breakfast, everything.

So breakfast comes. Some of the kids come. How much % of the children come to get breakfast, you think?

Oh, like 460. I'd say we have We feed a day. So we could do about 460 breakfast. So a lot of them eat. Yeah. A lot of them eat, yeah.

Yeah. We would get to school for breakfast if we got there in enough time. Sometimes our bus, if it were like six minutes late.

Well, you know what? Now, though, we have to stay open. If Their busses are late. Yeah, all that stuff. So, yeah, we don't close up. We pretty much... Kids come in sometimes at one in the afternoon. Ms. Blue, can I get breakfast? I mean, they're eating in two minutes. Sure. Here's your breakfast and your lunch.

Yeah, they don't even care. I know.

They don't care. They don't know. As long as they eat.

Yeah, that's how they are. Right. Okay, so you guys got the breakfast done. You shut it down. How do you start to transition to lunch? Is there an opportunity if people want to smoke between lunch and break? What is that? You guys get a little break or anything or do a video game on your phone or something?

Well, I mean, we're really busy, so it all depends on what we're making that day, because if it's something hard, like For breakfast, we have to do all that. If it's just like a pancake, we just heat it up or something, that's real easy. You know what I mean? So you got more time. But if it's something and I'm making sausage, egg, cheese, I have to put it all on one, wrap it. No. We're swinging right in. As the kids are coming through, we're still, Hey, still working.

Breakfast, lunch, whatever, brunch.

That's what I said. When I do the turnover, people are like, Wow. I'm like, You move the goal of her. We're turning over. Breakfast is over.

So really, is there a hard line where it's just like, Breakfast is done?

Well, I say that, but I'm lying because whenever they come in, I'll still fill in breakfast, even if they came in later.

But still, you draw a line in the same way.

Well, there should be a line, yeah, to at least a limit Because I'm about to serve lunch pretty soon. I'll tell them, Come on now. But like I said, we're here to feed them.

And is there a little bit of a game plan before lunch? How do you know what lunch you're all going to serve? Does it come down from a superior- I have a menu. On a win? Yes. It comes like, This is what we're serving today?

I have a menu, and then I order from the menu for the week.

Okay. What do you mean? Like, give a menu.

Well, they say on the menu, Okay, say it's a chicken bowl. I know I'm going to order that. For five days, I order, and I'll order everything for that and everything for the solids we're going to make for that same day.

Oh, so all the items that go into those things, you're saying?

Yes, because we have a couple of different things you choose from. Oh. Just make sure you have enough lunches because, man, when you run out, boy, those kids are ready to get you and don't run out on pizza day. Oh, man. I was messing around once, and I was talking to the kids too much, and I started burning. I'm like, I'm sorry. I'm doing So they didn't like that very well.

Yeah, if you run out on pizza day, I remember.

Oh, man.

Well, we went through a couple of different types of pizza, I remember. I remember there was this round. Can you bring up the different school pizzas that were served? There was a round pizza that had a great crust on it, I remember. It was really great, and people would see each other and be like, Hey, that crust is great, huh? And people would be like, Yeah. And then we got to this other square pizza, and I was like, This ain't even barely pizza, dude. That one, people didn't really like it as much. The cheese, I think, tasted different to me. But let's look at a couple of these. That's one right there. I've definitely had that one, the one you have the cursor on down right there.

Well, we have the one you got the cursor, and that's our breakfast pizza. Oh, that's right now. We serve that now for breakfast. The breakfast pizza was pretty good. They love some breakfast pizza. Oh, yeah.

Breakfast pizza was good.

We used to have a box pizza years and years ago, and I'm talking like 30 years ago, the kids used to really like. But now we're serving stuffed crust pizza. So the kids are pretty interested. Yeah. Like I said, Pizza Day, I hear a lot of compliments. I look good on Pizza Day. Really? Yeah.

There'll be a lot of flirt and stuff on pizza day. Pizza Day.

Oh, Pizza Day. Everybody wants a piece of pizza.

Yeah, everybody wants a pizza. Oh, yeah. So pizza is the big thing, right? That's the thing everybody loves the most.

That's what they love. Well, yeah, there's a couple different things, but following the menu.

Yeah. So following the menu, you guys, you have your week of menu. It's already set up in advance. So before the previous weekend, you got the whole week lined up the next week. Right.

Because I order right a week I had. Okay. So I have it lined up. But things can happen, so it's subject to change. Really? Oh, yeah. Especially in 2020, when all that shortage, I mean, whatever they gave me was what they were in because it was constant. No, we don't have that no more. No, we're short of this. No, we don't. I'm like, Oh, my gosh, when we feed these kids, I'm about to go to the grocery store. I need a food stamp card.

Yeah, you got to do something.

I was like, Man, these kids need to eat. Yeah. It gets crazy sometimes.

You're getting the lunches out to them. You got a plan. Does the government tell you what the children have to eat, or you could make it whatever?

No, the government tells you what the kids need to have, like how many servings of... You know what I mean? There have to be certain things. Lagumes or whatever? Yeah. You have to have beans on there a certain amount of times. So, yeah, they tell you, but we flip it around on different things. You know what I mean? If I'm short of that, they're getting that. It is what it is. As long as they eat, I'm happy.

Yeah, that's my attitude, too. I can't believe children have a choice where you're at in some of their meals.

Well, this is started this year. Like I said, this guy, we make a chicken salad, chef salad, and they love the PB&J still. You may give them just a cold lunch, and then whatever we're making for hot. So they pick between whichever one they want.

And are there days where there's a What's one of the special... Is there a time of year where something like maybe some bison meat or something or something unique, something rare will come across that you guys give to the kids? No. Is there a time of year when you all get the kids get something really rare? No.

The thing is the kids are so picky and there's so many that can't have this, that. They don't really go into anything odd with that. You know what I mean? Right. No.

So you got to stick to the guns.

Yes. Just right to it. Yeah. There's not a lot of pork on the menu because kids don't… There's so much… How do you say that? Religions and different things that they don't eat this, they don't eat that. So you have to watch. Okay. We're a bilingual school, too. We have so many different backgrounds. Oh, damn. Yeah. Some kids don't even speak English. Really? Yeah. All my ladies that work with me are Spanish. Oh, yeah? Yeah. It's cool, though. I start acting like I'm Pabloing. I'm like, Oh, I got this. I learned a couple of little words, and then I know what they want. I'm like, Oh, I got it. Don't worry. She wants a leche. It's a milk. It excites me.

Oh, yeah. It does feel good whenever somebody's speaking Spanish and you- And you get it. Yeah, you get it. Oh, yeah. That's It's a great feeling, dude.

It's really cool, yeah. So I'm trying to teach them some English because I'm like, You just brought me that. And I didn't ask for that. I asked for ketchup. Would you bring me a spoon for it? So we all just crack a laugh.

Yeah, a lot of people just don't know the difference between condiments, serverware. People don't know. A lot of people get scared. They had an emu the other day that died. It ate a woman's car keys somewhere. Oh my God. Yeah. So people will eat anything, I feel. Can you bring that up? Let me know if you can find that. Is there a lot of lesbianism in the cafeteria culture? I feel like we had a lot of- I'm sorry. That was a good one. Was that crazy? We had a lot of female, not inbreeding or whatever, but inbredding, I guess, basically.

Let's just say there's a little bit of everything. Okay. We're going to say there's a little bit of everything.

We had a lot of women love or whatever they called it back in the day in in the cafeteria. You would see that a lot of people, some of them, their husbands had been mean to them, and then they would fall in love after that. So it's like male-induced lesbianism. Right.

I He did it. Yeah. He did me wrong. I'm never being with a man again. Yeah, I'm not.

But I'll be with this gal. Right.

That looks like what?

I'll be with this gal and make her wear his whole clothes. That's weird.

That's the weird part. You're like, Hey, yeah. We all got a couple of weird things.

A beloved ostrich at the Topeka Zoo and Conservation Center in Kansas has died after swallowing a staff member's keys. God. What?

That's crazy.

And you know they were probably looking for the keys for a while, too. I feel so bad. Where are the keys?

And the ostrich is just- I'd be like, You poor ostrich. Oh, he ate my keys. He's dead.

The ostrich is just over there. You know They're like, Where's my- I know, right? Where's those keys at?

I don't know. All there was just an ostrich standing by me.

Nobody else was above me. And the ostrich is just leaning on a cage door. Different times. Right. We got that right. The zoo announced in a social media post Friday, The five-year-old officer, named Karen, had reached beyond her exhibits fence and grabbed and swalled the employee's keys. Staff consulted with experts around the US to undergo surgical and nonsurgical efforts to minimize the impact of the keys. Unfortunately, these efforts were- You couldn't pass the key then. Successful. Yeah, I guess you couldn't. I guess if you To heimlich an ostrich, it was just you can't get enough power in there to really get them to blast out. God.

That's pretty sad. I'm sorry.

Hey, serve it up.

You got that right. Because I sure serve.

Hey, look, if the kids will eat it, serve it up. That's right. If you'd have told me when I was a child that a cut of ostrich had come through, I think there's some kids would have gone in and tried it. But I guess overall, children don't like trying a lot of new stuff.

No, they're so picky. I mean, back in the day, I think they ate more. Now, it's like, Where's my hand? I'm like, I didn't have that today. Yeah, kids are picky.

And mostly, I Remember, we would always sometimes get them McNuggets, which was pretty good.

They like the nuggets. Yeah.

They still like them, huh?

Oh, they love the chicken. Oh, yeah. Gosh.

And what else would we get that was really good. The pizza I enjoyed. I really did like the pizza until they switched it to that square pizza with no real crust on it, and it just made me just so angry at everybody. What else? That straw in the milk bag they used to have. Do they still have that? It was like a bag of milk.

No, they don't do the bags no more. No. Actually, we don't even do straws no more. Really? Yeah. He took away the straws and stuff for... I guess we're going to say-How do you get the milk out of it into your body? Well, I mean, you know what? I thought there would be more problems, but they take that carton, just open it up and drink it. I haven't had too much of a problem. But when it first started, I did think, wow, there's going to be a lot of it. To my amazement, no.

They just figured it out.

For 31 years, they've been popping a straw in there. They clogged my We were washing the table, put it down the sink, and all those straws go in there. It's a bunch of straws. We pop it out, and all these straws got to pop it out.

It's those yellow straws, right? Yeah. Okay. You guys got the food out to the children. The children start to come in through the line, right? Now, we had BD, LD would come in first. I don't know if they still have it. Behavior disabled, learning disabled would come in first or last for lunch. Do you guys still do that, or everybody's mixed in? Everybody's mixed. Okay. So you get the children start coming in. Where are you at? Are you stationed at a certain point? What offense are you all running?

Well, I should be down there like Mark and stuff. But I'm the fastest one with serving and stuff. So most of the time I'm the server. You're on the line? Yeah. I like to be on the line because I know how fast I could go. Even if I drop stuff, I just keep on going. Oh, yeah. Just keep on going, just your lunch lady, Annie.

Yeah, you know about her?

Yeah, I watched you. Then I was laughing because I had carpal tunnel surgery last year, and I was doing the same thing, and we laughed. We watched that because I kept throwing stuff. I'm like, Keep going. My hand, my finger be getting all stuck and looking all crazy. And the kids are like, What are you doing? I'm like, This.

She would do this in her sleep. In her sleep, she would be doing this.

I bet.

You know what actually happened to her? We had a couple of good lunch ladies. We had this one lady we had named Sarge, actually. And she was, I think, a... She loved ladies, I'll say that. And she had all these pictures of her dogs on her all the time. And she'd always be like, Oh, I got so many dogs. And she would just have all these little buttons and pictures of all these dogs. And then she'd have a bucket. She'd keep all this, some of the extra stuff for her dogs. And she's like, I'm going to feed my puppies today. She love those puppies.

Okay.

You're like, All right.

All right, you can have it. It's fine.

She'd have so many. Sometimes she'd have missing animal.

Like, as long as you feed me, you can have it.

You can feed whatever you want, lady. As long as you feed the fourth grade, you can feed whatever you want. But She would sometimes have a wanted poster, a missing. She would sometimes have a missing poster on her for a dog that had gotten lost or whatever. And she's like, Have you all seen Bitty? Or whatever she would ask us. And then who else did we have? We had Patty, this lady one time, and she would open up the biggest cans of peas, man. I mean, cans. You couldn't even knew that they had a can that big.

Oh, I didn't see. When I first started to open those big cans, too, I was like, Whoa, look at all those peas.

Wow.

I was amazed.

And one of the janitors would always come through and be like, Nice cans, Patty. And he was just a pervert, but still- We all like to joke around every once in a while.

It is what it is.

It is what it is. And she She was pretty good. We had another. Oh, yeah. We had this other lady, Ms. Moncrief. She'd always be like, Make sure to get your spit again. That's what she called it. Your spedigetty. Get your spedigit. Get your spedigit. She would yell at us.

That's funny.

She'd be like, Get your spedigetty. And instead of saying cake, she would say, This is crazy. But she would say, Cack. So she'd be like, And get you a cut of coconut cack over there.

See, I think we all have to be a little nuts to be over there so long around our body. Sure. Most think I am a little off, but it's okay because I've accepted that a long time ago.

Get you a spediget, get your coconut cack. Yeah, she was bananas, dude. But she was sweet. And then we had Annie, and Annie, Ms. Annie lived across the street from us, and she was always like the carrot She'd come over and be like, eat your carrots. And then she got murdered, actually. Oh, gosh. Yeah, by her son. But was a great neighbor before that and great kitchen. Yeah. Great lady. And she had been resuscitated a few times. They kept her on staff. There wasn't a lot left of her. Right. By the last couple of months, she was- Some people I'm crawling out after a while. Some people just keep on serving. As long as this part of them works, it's like the rest of them is on their back.

You know what? My lady has laughed because like I said, last year, we forgot the surgery. I was constantly, and I'm like, Don't worry. I mean, by the time they have to clean up because I threw chicken balls across the room. Everybody was laughing. That's hilarious. I'm like, Hey, you know what? My hands are messed up. It's okay. Because as you go faster, you don't realize. Sometimes you're just like, boom, boom, boom. Things are just starting to move.

Yeah, it's almost like you're one of those blackjack dealers.

Yeah, I do. I feel like it. I'm like, What do you want? What do you want, kid? Yeah, what? He wants a bun. No, no bun for him.

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It depends who you are. I'm going to say it like that. A lot of... How do I say it? I think the younger new generation stuff, they're a little bit more slow and late. It is like... But I get them pumped. We're like, Let's go. You're like, Hot diggity dog. And we got little ones that come through the line and I go, What do you say? And she's like, If you touch it, you take it. I'm like, You got it, girl. So no, we boost them and get them laughing. I like to wear... I play around with them, put different wigs on. Oh, yeah. I like to switch it up, and I don't wear a lot of makeup most times. So I put makeup on, and all of them be like, Whoa. Just make it different. I mean, we like to try to do something different just so the kids are like, Wow. It's a lot of fun to play with them, especially the little ones, because they're fun.

They are? Yeah. What age are still kids really enjoyable at?

I'm going to say the little ones up to, I don't know, about 10 before they start getting a little mouthy, and then they want to do their own thing. Then there are some of them are too cool for me. They've been in school for ever, and now they're too cool for me. They hug me every day when they were little. Now they're like, I'm a moose, moose, moose. They're like, Okay. But I live in the neighborhood, so I see them all.Oh.

So you see a lot of them?I.

See a lot of them, yeah.

Do a lot of the children, when they come through, so they're pretty excited, and then you only have one person on you all's line, or how many people's on you all's line?

Well, I do it either by myself or somebody will help me sometimes if it's something really a big meal.

Because most of the kids, some of the items, they pick off the line themselves. They don't have to actually be handed.

The fruit, the vegetable stuff we do on the other side, and they can pick all that up theirself. I do like the main hot food for them.

Those are items like what? Spedigeti.

What else? We have pasta and meatballs. We have a chicken bowl where they have the mashed potatoes, the chicken, corn. Okay. Like a chicken pop pie? Yeah. We have a Polish girl now. It's like a turkey sausage thing. You put the sweet potato fries and some slaw and some barbecue sauce on that sucker. It's good. I like it that day.

That sounds great.

I'm saying I've been eating the food all these years, but I think they're getting better. They're getting a lot better because when I first started, we just heated up microwave dinners. I'll tell you. Really? Oh, yeah. We heated them up in the thing. You couldn't cook food that was open. So it looked like you cook five fries. I have a cup of fries, they're all stuck in the bottom. The quality, like I said, and then you make a hamburger with a bun already on it and heat it up in a plastic. What is it? So now we're doing like, we'll do the burger and we cook it and really cook it. And the fries go in the oven, and they get crispy. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. Like I said, I've seen a big change.

Really? And how long has that change period been over, you think?

Well, it's been about, I'm going to say about eight years of them slowly changing it, but this year has been the top because the kids get cantaloupe, watermelon, whatever. I cut it up.

I'm like going to Hawaii or something.

Oh, man, the big kids, I have to slow them down. I'm like, Man, that's too many portions. Because they'll take the whole thing. But yeah, they probably didn't get all that good food. And now we get tangerines instead of oranges, which is really cool because you get You have these little cuties. You can peel those in a second. So I don't even have to cut up those oranges.

I know. Those cuties, it's almost like having a little date on those.

Oh, man, they are. But I have to stop. The kids like them so much. They're in their pockets. They got to remember, How many cuties you got?

Yeah, they don't care. Okay, so you got the line. You all got it going pretty good. What types of ages are coming through your line or have come through your line over the years? Because how many years have you been in the game, basically? Thirty-one. Thirty-one years?

Yeah, I'm finishing my 31.

Yeah. Wow. You're like Glover Tashara. He's a famous UFC fighter. You were like... All right. Yeah. He's beloved and been in it for a while. That's him right there. But he is a very sweet man who has stood the test of time in his industry.

Awesome.

Okay, so what kids are coming through the lawn there? And what's some of the interaction like with them?

Well, the preschool, and it's like, Come here, baby.

They come first? Yes. Okay, so the littlest kids come first.

The littlest kids come first. Oh, wow. Yeah, we get the little ones, and then we move on up. And at the last period is sixth, seventh, eighth. Those are the big ones. So we start out with these babies, and they're all cute little babies. Then we go to these big, huge kids, which I don't know what they're feeding them anymore because they're-They're getting big? Yeah. I got some big boys. Ms. Melissa, hook me up. I'm like, Okay. But, yeah, we start out. But the little ones, they come anywhere from four years old, and I think to about 14. Okay. Unless they failed a bunch of times, and then they might be a little older.

Oh, yeah.

I mean, you see that guy. We had a guy, yeah. We just had to see that mustache. How many times he been here?

Yeah. He finally comes through. When you just hand him a... What's it? A thing you fill out to work? When you want to work when you want to work somewhere. Application? Yeah, you just hand him a work application. Oh, yeah, right.

You might as well. You're going to be 18 in a minute.

That happens a lot. I bet. What are some of the kiddos that have come through? Some of the little Buccerutis that have come through there? Any unique, anybody bringing anything with, any stories they bring with them, or what's going on with the kiddos?

Well, I mean, there are so many kids. I see them everywhere now. The lady that's at the pharmacy, she's a pharmacist. She was one of my kids. I go to restaurants. We go on a canoe ride, and I started laughing. I wasn't nowhere near Cleveland, and they're like, Ms. Melissa. And everywhere I go, I run into stuff. I mean, that's a lot of years, and they're grown. So they'll look at me and I'm giving them my money, and they're like, Are you Ms. Melissa? I'm like, Yeah. I was like, You were one of my kids. Oh, that's cool. But it's cool. Yeah. Yeah.

There's a connection. Well, especially because you're feeding the children. There's always a connection with somebody that's feeding you.

I'm nice to the kids, too. Yeah. And I'm funny.

They like being around you?

They like seeing you? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

And does some of the kids ever bring anything with them? Do they ever... What do...

Well, we had some come through the line, and one had a snake in his book bag. Really? And the little girl brought her cat in the book bag. Yeah, you never know what they're going to bring.

Really?

They brought a cat? But we have security that checks their bag. So I bet they've seen some more stuff. What? Yeah. Like, Is that cat meowing? I mean, that book bag meowing over there. Is that the new style? Did she press a button? And then when she comes through the line to ask me for cat food, I was like, What? I don't serve that.

But what did they ask you to do? Just put something in their bag for the cat? How did you know?

No, they heard them and stuff, and them guys, Like I said, they have to come through the detector. Oh, they have a metal detector? Oh, yeah.

We got metal detector. Oh, so you're in the trenches over there.

Oh, I'm in the lower, lower West Side. Wow. Oh, yeah.

You all are in there. Wow. Oh, yeah. Okay, so you have some children will bring a cat or even a snake through. And do you think it's just because they don't want to be alone from their pet?

Or they just- Yeah, probably just want to see their pets and stuff like that. Their parents probably didn't even know they snuck them out half the time. You know what I mean? If they could, sometimes the kids would let a dog in if they could, so it could run around.

You know who you're laughing to? People ever tell you that your laugh reminds me of... Do they have the lady from the Adam Sandler thing, if you can find it? A little bit. Yours is way more charming.

I made them extra sloppy for you. Listen, her.

I know how to- Her laugh is- Oh, that's too funny.

I never thought of that. Why do you scare her? I do sound like her.

Just her laugh, though. You're way prettier than her. Oh, that's funny. She's pretty. I have to. But is it tough to see some of the kids grow and leave sometimes? Are there some kids you're like, Man, that kid's going to... We really wish they could stay?

I wonder what happened to some of them that you really liked that you don't see that much no more. And some you see, and well, they're not really doing as well because they're in the neighborhood. But I see so much bad, good. And then I love it when they come back and they're I just got in college or I'm doing this or I'm about to go to nursing school. Then I'm very excited because we're where we're at. My son, he couldn't wait to get out of Cleveland. He got married and just moved away.

He was gone?

He was gone as soon as he left. Then I had to get a dog named Mo because he was named Joe. I lost him.

He left. Oh, you got to get a dog that rimes with your son's name. Right.

I replace them with my dog, Mo.

That's fair. Yeah. Where did you... Is there a lot of dating? Do a lot of janitors come by the lunch area trying to holler and trying to... Because that's what I felt like when I was a kid, sometimes you would see some of the janitors over there trying to just spend a little bit extra time or something like that.

Mine's real cool.

You only got one janitor?

Yeah, I mean, because, well, they say they're custodians. They don't like to be called a janitor.

Oh, yeah. Sorry. Custodian. Anyway. Yeah, I respect both of them. The last one was a lady, and me and her was real good friends, and she owned a Lakehouse, and I used to go with her all the time down there to New York.

So that was awesome. And my other one, he just left. Yeah, I hang out with all the people that are retired, too, that just left. I've worked with them for so long. It's like we know each other. We grew up in family.

Was it sad to see your son graduate, get out of this? When he left your school?

Yeah. Because I got to keep a very close eye on him. Then he thought he was going to get away with something, but I told him, I'll transfer. I'll follow you, boy. And he's like, No, mom, no. So he did better. But then when I would go to parent conference and I would start talking, the teachers would look like, No wonder that's where he gets it. Listen, I'm all hyper talking to him. I'm like, How's my kid doing? They're like, Well, he's great, I guess. But I'm like, You...

I guess he's got to be- Like, Are we going to put you in detention?

That's what I'm saying. Hey, when I first started working at school, I thought, Man, did I get called to the office? I thought I was going to detention. Really? And I was really working there.

And they would call you down there? Yeah. Just to tone it down?

Yeah. She jokes all the time and says that I'm going to have to go outside if I laugh too hard. Because during testing, you're supposed to be quiet. So Sometimes she's just like, I heard you miss me. I'm like, sorry. But they are like, so it's cool. Sometimes you hear a outburst, I'll be just like, and it's all the way upstairs calling, and I don't realize. It goes around the school. But they know it's me.

Yeah, that's it, huh? It's like a bird almost that you hear. Do you see at certain holidays, what's that like at school? Around Valentine's or some kids seem lonely or anything. Does that ever happen?

A little bit, but they give those little hearts out, and they give candy, and the bigger kids will give them flour. It's just, yeah, they make a big... And we have dances and stuff.

And the dances are in the cafeteria sometimes?

Yeah, most of the cafeteria is where we have all our dances and everything. And I'm right there, so I like to dance with the kids. Really? Oh, yeah. I go and enjoy them. Yeah. Oh, wow.

You should work for Nickelodeon. Oh, man.

We've had a lot of fun. Yeah.

They let you guys dance with the children at the dances?

Sure. Oh, that's cool. Yeah.

I remember one One time, we had a guy named Mr. John, and his wife, I think, was a teacher. I don't know if she was a teacher. She just was the smartest person in our area, and she would hang out at the school. But I got to dance with her one time at a dance.

That's pretty cool. I remember. My principals were great with a lot of things that she does, and we have a mother-son dance and things like that. I had some buddies a long time ago, and they didn't have a mom, so I went to the dance, danced with them.Oh, that's sweet.And everything. Yeah, they were my buddies because we do a buddy breakfast thing.Oh, you all do?I picked him as my buddy.

Yeah.oh, just students?Yeah.

You get close to if you see somebody and they'll say, You want to be my buddy? And then you're like their friend they could talk to if they're having a hard day where they hug you every day. So it's pretty cool. Oh, it's important. Yeah. And then a couple of times a year, we eat with them, talk about, give them a present.

That's cool. Really cool.

Yeah.

But what are some other moments like? Have you had some unique interactions?

Oh, yeah. Like Halloween, I like to dress up and different stuff. And then I run through the crowd. And the little kids this year, I was this blow up, and it blew up big, too. It was cool. So I run out and everything. But then they kept trying to squeeze me and I'm like, I'm going to pop. So I'm trying to get them away, but I can't because it keeps blowing up. So we do funny stuff like that. And I A couple of times I would tutor with the kids, help the little ones with math or something. Whatever she asked, we tried to do. I think we're like a mixture. When they're away from When they're home, we could be their mom, their grandma, whatever. They're crying. You want to go over and make sure they're all right, see what they want. You have kids that will chase you and hug you every day. Sometimes you got to run. I run. Sometimes I have to shut the door. I'm like, Here she comes. And everybody laughs because she's so beautiful and sweet, but she drives us crazy. She won't be alone. Yeah.

Someone get a little bit of... They get just...

Really click.

Yeah. They hug you too much. Yeah. They'll hug you, they'll lick you even.

Oh, Yeah, you're right about that.

I've seen a child just start licking. You're just like, What is going on with this child? But my friend told me that if you look at anything, anything, You know what it would feel like on your tongue because as a kid, you licked everything and checked everything out.

Probably. I'm sorry. Yeah.

At first, I thought that was crazy. But then if I look at anything-You're probably thinking, If I lick that? He said, Because when you're a kid, you just put everything in your mouth. You don't even think about it. And you Develop this memory from it.

There's nothing I wouldn't try. That's why I said kids don't try anything nowadays. There's nothing. Hey, is that a chocolate grover? Let's eat that. Let's try it.

Is there anything you guys will make BTS? Be honest with me. Is there some BTS That's the food that you guys will make at the lunch area that's just for you guys. You ever brew something up just for the gang, but it's not for the students? I won't tell anybody.

No, we eat the lunches there. But no, I can't wait. They're all Spanish, so I want them to bring me some rice of beans and stuff. So I want their food. So they bring me food all the time. And then I'm like, All right, this is how you get to your boss. Now, this is good. I just had some yesterday. Oh, yeah? Yeah.

They got a lot of good food, man.

But yeah, I love it. So the ladies come in and they make me food. I'm like, That's the way. Oh, that's beautiful.

And now, when does the day shut down? So after lunch, what happens? How do you guys shut it down? The last person leaves, and then what?

After the last kid gets fed, we make sure everybody's fed. And then it's time them ladies clean up, count everything because I got to count everything, all the milk, everything. It gets counted for the day. Oh, really? Yeah, I do paperwork and everything has a count. Then it's got to go on the computer and go down to them of how many kids we fed, just switching it back around, moving the coolers back for breakfast for the next day. Everything goes back to... It's like you flip a switch. You know what I mean? We go for breakfast, lunch, lunch, breakfast. Like a transformer. I always said that. I said, See how we just did that? I said, It was like transformers. I'm like, We just transformed the kitchen. Now, bam. And people come out and they'll be like, Dang, Melissa, you just had breakfast. Now, it's like lunch. Because I'll be like,. And I'm like, We can't play.

Somebody's got to do it.

We don't have time. Somebody's got to do it. Somebody's got to do it. And I'm one of those people that are always ready to go. Yeah, I run around like a chicken with my head cut off because I'm a little nutty, but it's okay. The more I move, I just like to keep going. That's important. And it is. And I'm getting old, so I have to.

You got to keep busy.

Heck, yeah.

And what's it like Do you have time for dating? You guys have to get up pretty early. What's the love life like of someone in the lunch industry?

Oh, I've been married 30 years. Oh, you have?

Oh, you got married to not the pregnant, not the- No, not the baby dad.

I got married to somebody else. Oh, nice.

Where'd you meet your husband at?

In the yard.

Really? Not like a prison thing, huh?

No judgment.

Half my family's been incarcerated. Well, yeah.

I mean, he just got out. Hey, babe, you look good.

Welcome back. Welcome back. He didn't do it.

Well, make me a breakdown.

You I guess you guys get... Oh, I guess he probably is not allowed over to the school then.

No, no. This was so long ago. He's good now. Okay. We won't talk about that.

We'll keep that out. That's nice then. So you got to love. You have You have love in your life. You have one child. That's your only child?

Oh, yeah. I was one and done. Yeah? Oh, yeah.

What made you not want more?

Well, I guess- That was the whole experience. I mean, what the heck? Women just keep popping them out. Are they crazy? It's unreal. All that stuff we had to do. I told that doctor or whoever I told him, This was all too much for me. Then he came out with a collar. And I'm like, What the heck? I watch kids for years, and they never acted like that. Then I have my own. I'm like, Everybody kept saying, You're going to have another one? I'm like, No. Yeah. So when he was 10, I got my tubes tied. I said, No, I'm making sure. I'm done.

Oh, yeah. That was it.

Shut down the lunch line. That was it. Shut that all down. The lunch line was over. I got 600 kids a day. I don't even need it.

Every now and then, you got to open it up for breakfast every now.

Yeah, but see, I don't have to have it. I have to make it easy now.

Wow. Let me get into the financial of it. Do children pay for school lunch a little bit?

A long time ago, when I started, I'm going to say- We had X and Y I remember.20 years ago, they did.

We had X and Y tickets. X was full paid, and Y was free lunch.

You got it. Or partial paid. Yeah, they had the full, partial, and free.

Oh, they had full... Dude, I remember. So I would get to school, God, dude, it was the most... This was one of the skit. This was one of the tougher things, I think. When you were a kid, you would get there and see if you can bring up the school on tickets. Keep looking for them. Mine looked a little bit different. Oh, my goodness.

Those lunch hearts.

No, keep looking to see if you find some other ones. Oh, yeah. No, right there, the red and blue, the whole mix of all of them, the game tickets. Those are the ones we had. Right there? Yeah. And so you get up to the lady, right? There'd be the lunch lady because they didn't allow men to do it. Because I don't believe men should do it.

We got a couple of men in the system now. Really?

We'll talk about that some other time. Times have changed. But we would get in there and you had to go up to her and you had to tell her if you were... If you paid, you had to just buy the ticket from her. And if you were free, you had to tell her you were free. Mom. And it always felt so embarrassing because I'd always be another kid right behind you or in front of you. She'd always say it like, I'm free. And if the bus got there early, you could get breakfast. That was the thing. If the bus Right. Based on how Ms. Hazel was doing, and bless her hard or whatever, she's alive or not, hopefully she's alive, but she might not be. But she was awesome. But sometimes she would lollygag, sometimes she would stop or drive slow and smoke. And so we would get there a few minutes late and we would miss breakfast. And then you were just beside yourself because you had to get all the way to 11:40.

Right. And you would just keep going to the water fountain and just drinking that much.

Water as much water as you could. And I remember even one of my teachers was like, Go get you some of that breakfast water out there. Breakfast water? That's what they used to say. Ms. Smith would always say that. But anyway, yeah. And then at lunch, I don't know if we got our tickets in advance for the week or if you had to go and do the same thing at lunch. But you would always try to sneakily say, Yeah, free lunch, or whatever. I'll take a Y one, or just something like that. Or I would try to pretend like I was given a money. It was like I was a magician just because I didn't want other kids to see. Because kids get so embarrassed.

No, they do. Yeah.

But then once you got the ticket, yeah, and you were free to the line, usually you would get a tray or a little carton, a little plastic little carton. And then you would go to the milk or beverage area first, get that. Then And you would go into the room where the actual kitchen was, and you would have the line there. You would get your line items come out, and then that was it. You was free to go sit down and eat. It was awesome. Yeah, that was the best thing ever, dude. What is the funnest thing to serve to the kids? Is there something you really enjoy?

I like to serve the pizza because it's one piece. Because I could throw the pizza. But when I got like, mashed potatoes, corn, chicken, a raw, I'm sorry. Now I'm like... It's too much, huh? Everybody's picky, so they don't want gravy. Some want gravy. Now they're allowed to pick what they want. We used to give them all of it.

Oh, At least, yeah, that's crazy. You get to pick what you want. We would have to get whatever. Sometimes they give you a bunch of junk. You're like, something that wouldn't even... I don't even think some of it was food or whatever, and you just have to take it back to your table.

Oh, yeah. I've seen so much waste. Back in the day, we'd have a bean burrito. All these kids would just... You know what I mean? Just throw it away. Just throw it away. You just cooked all those just a bit bee in the garbage. You're like, damn.

The apple, I feel like, would always get thrown away.

Sometimes, yeah.

Yeah, you would be like, I don't know if I'm eating this. That would always be a tough one.

I've ordered less apples now. Yeah? Yeah, because the other ones are more popular that we have now that they're trying different watermelon. That's gone. I'm watermelon, man. I have We'll be cutting 10 water. We'll be cutting those watermelon.

What type of cutter are you using back there? Do you guys have a sanction knife that you have to use or something? Or a sword?

We have a couple of knives. Yeah, like that. We got a couple of knives we use for those, which we just started to share. Sometimes it was It's hard. Oh, yeah. Especially with my hands hurting all the time. I was like, man, these water rolls, it's crazy. But then we got this one that you put the orange or the apple thing in, and you could go...

Oh, really? It's fancy?

And it comes out. I like that one. Yeah, I could do that all day. Yeah. Yeah, that's nothing.

Yeah, I guess if you get that fancy one, it's really nice. I'm trying to think of what we had. Oh, they would do baked potatoes. Do you all still do those sometimes?

No, we haven't done a baked potato for a long time, but I remember a long time ago, we did have a baked potato. They seemed like it.

Yeah, it was nice because they had sour cream with it. Oh, yeah. And get you a little bit of bacon bit or whatever. Because they didn't let you use bacon bits in our community if you was a child, first of all. Oh, yeah.

That was an adult thing.

So then to get to school, when you pull up and you got access to bacon bits.

You're like, Yeah. Let's ride. Hey, they're excited now. We give crootons.

Oh, is that a big thing for the kids now?

Yeah, we never gave croutons with a salad. We're poor over there. We give croutons. We're cool.

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Before and after. We give them a switch. We got 20 minutes of 20 minutes. Some of them are outside, then they'll come on in, then those ones will go outside. So we're just keep going like that.

Tell me about, take me down some of the tough moments. Has there ever been a food recall or something that happened where there was just a food people got sick from that day? Was there ever just a flu that went around?

Oh, that is so funny you said that. Years ago, and it was quite a while, I don't know, maybe 18 years ago, we did have this problem. There was flu going around and everything. A couple of kids came in the lunch room and they threw up. Well, that started the other kids looking at them doing it. Next thing I know, they call, they got busses, they got everybody pooling my food, doing it. I'm like, tripping. I'm like, What? They're like, It's her friend. She's buying us, guys.

Really? Like you were witch? Like the Salem witchcraft.

I had parents saying, Don't eat that. And I'm like, Oh, my God. Yes. And then what was that? One guy, he was trying to come from the... And I was running with my hoodie on because I was like, I'm not going to... The news? Yes. No. Yeah, I swear. I was tripping. What did you do? That's what it is. And they wrote this article. And then, I don't know, a couple of weeks later, when they realized it, they wrote this little thing like it wasn't the food. They were sick. But they made me look. They didn't care. And then at downtown would be like, And Melissa, tell them about that. When the kids got off. And I'm like, What? Who's got a green break in the stop?

Like you were Hester print or something.

I'm so glad that those kids are probably long gone out of it by now because that stuck with me for a little while.

Yeah, a little PTSD from that.

I'd be walking down the street, and all of a sudden, they'll be like, There she is. I'm like, Oh, my God. I did the pizza. Oh, my God. I start tripping.

We had the bad macaroni.

They did, yes.

Do you remember the bad macaroni of 2001?

Yeah.

Where were you? Where were you when people ate bad macaroni? I'm like, I ate it, and I'm okay. You're like, I survived. You should have made T-shirts. It said, I survived the macaroni of 2001. I know.

That would have been a good one. That would have been.

People forget that there's a marketing possibility even within famine and disease and edible diseases. People forget that all the time. Yeah, because we would have... People would get We'd have bad milk come through or bad cattle would come through town.

Sometimes there- And you get spoiled milk.

Yes. And you had no idea why. It could have been that the truck was parked overnight next to something that was heating it up. You just never know. Too much time in the sun on the way there.

Something. There was something.

And everybody would just be having bad milk.

The kids will let me know if they trust me. They'll let me know if they have something. Yeah. I mean, a couple of times we got milk and there was like the cards, they didn't fill it up. They kept saying, Why is all these kids want another milk? Until I figured out it wasn't really getting there. I'm like, Oh, shit. I'm telling them no. Damn. Now I got to get out of this milk.

But look, that's how it is out in some of the... That's how it is.

You can't- You just never know what's going to happen.

That's life, too. You always don't know the milk that you're going to get. That's true. Any food fights? Kids always say, We're going to do a food fight. It never happens. That's what I feel like. There's always the rumor of a food fight. Today, we're going to... And then never ends up going down.

At my school, not as much. But I did sub at a school that's closed now a long time ago. And the kids said, Food fight. I went with mashed potatoes in my hair. I had stuff hanging off me. So they decided they really was going to do it. And they did it. And they did it. Yeah, praise God. And I'm like, All right, man. I wasn't too upset with it. It was cool.

Well, that was the big thing. I don't know if kids care about that anymore.

No, I don't. I mean, they might throw peelings. I mean, they might throw those little things, but they're not getting up having the big making food.

Yeah, they're not like it's a big organized thing because there's always this thing like kids are going to organize it.

We're going to do it, and then it comes down to it.

It never happened. I think it was more of... Wasn't there a movie that there was a food fight in? Can you look that up?

Yes, there is. I can.

What was that movie that had a food fight in it? It was a '90s movie. The Great Race, Matilda. Oh, Hook. Hook had a great food fight in it at the Bangerang scene. That was very big. Oh, Animal House.

That was it.

I think Animal House had a huge one. That, I think... It's so funny. A lot of times you take on the right back to a popular movie or TV show, and that's where it started. Do you remember your lunch ladies from being a...

Not very many. I don't think they were very nice then. Really? And one thing that I always said after I got in there was that I'm not going to be like that because we get a rep. Really? Yeah, because some people they act like that mean little lunch lady. You can only have one ketchup. I always thought I'm going to be the cool one. Then I am. Then I think it works out because I don't remember too many really good ones.

Yeah, I remember a couple of times They had... I mean, also for a lot of young men, you think that lunch lady is pretty cute because it's the first woman you get to talk to that's not a teacher or your mom. It's the first person that you're like, Well, who is this person? And they smile at you or whatever. You ever have a student try to get your number?

No, they might flirt a little bit, trying to get some extra chicken balls or something. All right. But they're trying to- But I'm like, Yeah, all right, get it going, boy.

They're trying to pull up on them yams, huh?

Yeah, they think so. I'm old enough to be your great grandma.

You better roll. Yeah, you got to shut them down early.

You got to.

What about fights? Any fights they have at school? Are you guys allowed to get involved in that? What's that like at school if that happens?

Well, there's fights, but you're supposed to get security. I mean, I don't wait. Sometimes I will try. But now with big kids, no way. Those guys are huge. They'll swing me across the floor somewhere. I'm like, No. So I'll just go over and try to find one. Security, go on. And then they'll try. But other people in there are teachers and stuff. I won't get involved. You won't get involved. Not the big kids. No.

Is there a good relationship with teachers and lunch women, or lunch women and now men, because men are attacking the industry? But is there a lot of good... Or are they arch nemesis of each other? What's the energy between lunch people and teachers? I never thought about that.

At different schools, it'd be different. But for me, I've got along with most of them and stuff like that. I have a good relationship with them because everybody wants some milk every once in a while. It's not mine. I guess it depends on who it is.

That's a powerful statement, Everybody wants some milk.

Because they do. I always think when they walk in, and if they're acting mean to me, I'll be thinking, You want to milk for me one day? Yeah. See if I give it to you. You'll need me.

You'll pull up on this. Yeah, you'll pull up on this utter.

Yeah, that's right. You want me to order those bag lunches for you, don't you? It's true, huh?

Yeah. Oh, for field trips.

That's what I said. So some... Yeah, If you'll have a couple, but not very many, but if they act a little too, it's fine because they got to come to me for something.

You got to come through.

Yeah, that's true. I might be the little one down there. You're like the government. That's right. You still got to pay your taxes.

Food is government. It really is. It is. And a lot of cultures it is. It really is government. Yeah. Well, yeah. It's like if you're even in a village, when somebody comes back with the food, that person is the government that day. They have the food. They determine how everything is going to go.

I always tell my ladies, I'm like, Man, sometimes I walk through the hall and I think they're looking at me like a chicken leg or something.

Who are you talking about? Some of the janitors or whatever?

The kids, the staff. It depends what they smell. They have loaded nacho day. It's like everybody's looking Melissa's got nachos. And I just could see everybody, Hi, Melissa. Like, oh. Yeah. They know. They know. Yeah. They know it would be nice, too.

People know where their bread is buttered.

That's what it is. Just like me, I know I need the custodian, so you got to be nice, and I need toilet paper and stuff. You learn who you have to be good with.

When little Ricky puke.

That's right.

You know you're going to need to call.

Oh, you know it.

What's a field trip day like? So how does that break down?

Well, the field trips and stuff, they order bag lunches.

What goes into the bag lunch?

When I make it, it's like a sandwich, a PB&J sandwich on Crustable. Yeah, they love those. I get strawberry and grape, and I like them, too.

If I'm running around with this-Y'all will make those yourselves?

No, they come. You order from Uncrustables? No, we order those. Yeah. Wow, that's nice. Yeah, those things are pretty good. But then I'll make a bag with those and some goldfish crackers, a string cheese, applesauce, and some carrots. Bam, there's our lunch. Bam. They're out.

We got, I remember, meat sandwich with mustard. Yeah. Sometimes you got extra mustard somehow for no reason.

I know.

You're like, first of all, I'm a child.

I don't eat mustard the first time. I'm a child. And now I got a lot of mustard.

Mustard is for Polish adults. Let's be honest. So there's no reason I should have to eat it. And then you gave me more mustard. So that would be scary. You'd always see that one kid that would end up being an alcoholic, and he'd be over there just eating the mustard.

Oh, you know what? We got him with the hot sauce.

You all got hot sauce?

Oh, yeah. Now we give hot sauce, and the kids love hot sauce. But I catch the little ones over there with the packs. Is he eating it? Yeah, I'm like, What is it? It's a lot. Or they're keeping it in the pack. I'm going to take this home to my dad for some hot sauce.

I'm like, Okay. For Christmas or whatever?

That's crazy. Hey, they got no sauce.

Oh, But so you pack those, you send them out on the field trip? When? Do you pack those the night before? You pack them then the morning of the field trip?

I get everything ready except for the sandwich. Then in the morning, I just throw the milk in a cooler. How many you have it first going? Then put the sandwich in there and it falls through the day so they could eat it by lunchtime. Because you don't want to leave those out too long because one thing is nasty is the next day. It gets hard or the jelly starts to go seeping through. So that very first day when it first just thaws. It's the best.

You guys will put the... You mean for the lunchable you mean? For the crust?

Yeah, I use those for the bag lunches.

For the bag lunches, right. The PB&Js. Do they get a meat option in there or no meat option?

They used to, but I haven't had one in a while. Okay. Yeah.

What's some of the best things about the job?

Time goes really fast because I'm always busy. I don't feel like it's a job job, even though I'm getting paid because Because I'm having fun, I try to make my work fun, and I make the ladies dance. I'll tell them, Okay, we're getting too serious. Stop. Put some music on. Start to get the groove for a minute. We all start laughing, doing dishes, just joking. I told them, I want this to feel comfortable. I want us not to feel like... Just because we're working doesn't mean you can't have it fun. In my kitchen, it's about having fun. Do your job and let's have fun while we're doing it. Then I like to crazy around the principal or anybody because they all know me, and they're like, There's Melissa. I do some crazy stuff. I don't know how to swim, and I went on a... She took me on a trip with her, and her son was like, I said, Oh, He always wanted to jump in the deep water. Oh, yeah. Here he goes. He gives me his mama's life jacket. I put that sucker on last summer, and I was diving off diving board with the little kids.

I was so excited.

First time ever. Yeah.

I was like, Yeah. The kids was waiting The older people were like, I don't really know what she's doing. Make a wish. I was like, right?

Wow. You just got right out in there in the water?

Yeah, just got right in, dove right off the diving board in it. But once I know that, I would say- Yeah, you're safe. Yeah.

Had you ever tried swimming before?

I'm not that great at it.

Yeah, it sounds like you're not good at it, but had you ever tried before? Because I was bad at swimming for a while.

I could backfloat, but I- What is backfloating?

I've never heard of that.

You'd be like, That's how I'm going to do it to save my life.

I think that's called waiting for rescue, I think.

Well, I could wait for rescue for a while, but I can't do this too long. I don't know how you guys are staying in there, just standing there. I don't get it.

Well, that's magic.

If I see somebody doing that- I know, I just don't get it.

I'll call the cops, dude.

Right? Some things are just, yeah, beyond me.

A long time ago, they used to think that gay people would sink in the water and straight people would float back in the witchcraft days. Isn't that crazy? Bring that up. Look at that, sinking gays or whatever.

Sinking.

Or, yes, sinking gays and witchcraft, if you put that in there, too. There was a lot of that. Yeah? Yeah. People, well, they had a thing. If you sinked or float, it would determine something. And they would then sometimes- Well, shit, I sink.

So what's that mean? What are you trying to say?

I'm not I'm not saying anything, man.

Maybe I took a wrong turn in life.

Who knows, Melissa?

I know, right?

So what's the social life like when you're outside of work? What do you like to do for fun, personally? What keeps you busy? Obviously, you really find a lot of joy in your work, and that's awesome. It's important to notice that.

Well, they noticed I was Employee of the Year at School, too. Oh, yeah? In 2009. No. Yeah. The mayor's brother gave He gave me an award.

I was like, Oh, Jolly. His brother? What's his brother doing? I don't know.

He was there. Anyway, but they gave me a party and a gift card and all this. I was like, Oh, Richie. Give me $100 to a steak house. I was like, Yeah, I'm going to get the biggest steak. I felt cool, but I was a little excited.

How did you know you won? Was there a finalist or what happened?

Yeah, it was Employee of the Month, all of us, the 12. Then they They said, We're going to pick one. I was waiting. I was like this waiting to eat. I was looking at the food like, Man, that looks good.Oh.

You were all at the banquet?Hurry up.

Yeah. So I was thinking, hurry up.

And did you dress up for it?

Yeah, I dressed up a little bit, but I looked a little crazy. I always change. I did the smile. It's like you could see my whole tonsils in my mouth because I smile too big because I laugh a lot. They put that picture big downtown. So now you walk in and you see me. Everybody's like, Is that a little stuff? I'm Yes, that's me. So that's the picture they picked. I guess you see every two of them call my tonsils. I'm like, Yeah, there's me.

Yeah, that's awesome.

Yeah. But it was cool. It was really cool, though. Just for being funny and trying to Because everybody's so serious sometimes. Oh, yeah. And then the big boss come out, everybody's so scared. And we're all there to do the same thing. I just make them laugh and tell them, Let's just be fun.

Yeah. I have a lot of fond memories of going into the lunch room? Sometimes you would get this somewhere and you would get a fork that was all banged up.

Oh, yeah.

What happened?

I don't know, but I've seen some. They look like all of them are mushed to the paper towel thing or something.

Or you'll see just the fingers of the fork will be like, one of them will be way out like that. And you're just like, what happened?

What happened? Like, sorry, you can't have another fork. You're going to have to eat with your finger today, bro. We're on a crisis. Budget cuts.

You're like, What happened? That's what I'm saying. What would you change about school launches?

One of the biggest things I think I would change because, like I said, they're It's been better, but everybody eats the same portions. I would give the bigger kids more portions.

Okay.

I think instead of that one chicken leg that everybody's getting besides the other stuff that they could get on the side, I'd give them two. I just think that the bigger kids. We got some big boys, big girls, and they got to be hungry. That's just not enough, I don't think. But we do have a salad bar. They can fill up with that, but they want the meat.

They want the real deal.

Yeah. They want a McNugget. That's what I'm saying. They want more of those. So when I hook them up, they'll be like, Ms. Mille is like, I'll give them a couple more nuggets. They're like, Oh, you're my girl. I'm like, I know. I got you.

That feels good.

It does feel good. It feels good when I see kids that I go places to a wedding or something, and I see all these kids are at the wedding because I had family, friends. I've had all the nieces and nephews. I've had everybody go through school. So they'll be like, I remember when you gave me the other... She was cool. That's right.

It feels good to just I'm not going to put a Mcnugget up a child.

Oh, it does. You want some more fries? Here you go.

Fucking put a McNugget in a child. They'll be talking about me.

They'll be like, Man, look at me up with this plate.

I got some nephew children on damn McNugget, them bastards up. Oh, yeah. God, it feels good. It does. It makes you rest easier.

Well, it does. It really does. I know. That's why I said, some of the kids, they're hungry, or they'll tell me that they have an aid.

Do you all play any music in there?

Spanish music, yeah. In our kitchen, we play some because like I said, all my ladies are Spanish.

A lot of Latino coworkers. Oh, yeah. Employees. Employees.

They were amazing what they could do with a broom. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. They scrubbed that place with a broom.

Really?

Oh, yeah. They're wonderful cleaners.

Very true. I have a lot of My grandmother was a house cleaner, and my mom was, too. Then a lot of my friends' parents, growing up, were in house cleaning and stuff. Some of my Latino friends, their parents still clean houses.

I tried it for a minute. Did you?

Yeah. So you tried a different business?

Oh, yeah. In the summertime, if I didn't work down at school, I did other jobs. Oh, really? Oh, yeah.

What are some of the summer jobs? Nobody ever thinks about that. What do freaking lunch ladies do during the summer?

The year before, because I got surgery last summer, so I was down with my stupid carpal tunnel, my trigger finger stuck like this.

Why did you have to get surgery? Be honest, it's just too much scooping? Oh, Yeah.

They said, Repetitious movements. Now my back, things because you do them so long, sometimes it'll be burn.

Yeah. How much scoops can one wrist do overall?

Man, I don't know. I just keep them I'm rolling. Really? Like I said, some people are like, Man, look at her. But I'll be sweating. But I'm getting older now, though, so. You might have tore that. But don't ask me to do nothing with my hands when I get home because...

Hey, look.

Am I a certain?

No wonder your guy went to prison. You got to do what you got to do.

That's what I'm saying. I know. I'm sorry. I just got there.

I've served all I'm serving, honey. That's it. No more seconds. No more firsts.

But no, I just try to go fast because I've watched people and they'll be like, We got 600 kids. I'm like, Dude, you got to move. Keep rolling. But people say it's not fast.

What is a kid that comes in that's heartbroken? You ever notice a kid that's having a tough time? Have you ever had a moment? Oh, I run right over.

Oh, gosh. Yeah.

What is some of that? Over time, do you be able to pinpoint some of the commonalities of what some of those moments are like?

A lot of it is like another kid don't like them. They're getting paced on or they want to be friends with this child and they don't want to be friends with them.

Isn't that so big to kids?

Yeah. I'm like, Look, but then to them, it's so big. I always tell them, if they don't want it, it's okay. Don't worry about it. They'll be liking you tomorrow. You know what I mean? This and that. Just try to make them feel better and they get over it. Then you see them talking to their best friend tomorrow.

They just need help getting through that moment.

They just I need to get through. And it is. So whenever we do see one down, I immediately want to go over to that one and see why. Especially since we got a lot of kids that are smiling like me and bubbly when I see them. So if they're not bubbly, just like they do the same thing to me. If I come to work and I'm not filling it that day, there's just something wrong, they could fill it. Oh, they'll lift you up. Oh, they come in and they're like, Ms. Melissa, you're all right? Because they know that I'm not laughing. Don't hear that big loud laugh everywhere. Then there's something wrong with Melissa that day. That's Yeah, I didn't heard her laugh too much.

Yeah, that's interesting. We're the keys to each other's locks. That's what my buddy always says.Oh, yeah, they do.

He always says that. Oh, yeah, they do. They can pick up on it.

What are some of the other summer jobs you've had? God, I can't believe I never knew that, that those beautiful women were wandering off into our town and doing other employment.

I was a secretary, which sitting down isn't my strong word.

That's not your thing, huh?

No, I was like, Man, let me clean I'm in this place. I don't want to be a secretary anymore. I'll clean your place. Okay, girl, you got to get up. Yeah, I can't just sit. It's crazy. That's too much for me. I've worked at Dave's grocery store, cashier, and I like that.

I was a cashier for a bit.

I liked it. All these people coming through, and some like, What's up?

It is pretty fun. Cashier was fun. Stocking was fun. I didn't love getting the carts a lot of times.

I didn't like to get the carts and putting the stuff back.

Sometimes they were wet, and you were like, What? It hadn't even been raining. Why is this car away?

Yeah, you wonder what you're touching.

Yeah, just people are gross.

I'm doing takebacks, and I think they're peeling, they're opening. I'm like, Oh.

It would be very hectic, a lot of, yeah.

You never know what they're doing.

Oh, yeah. It just felt insane. It was like a lot of Eustassian fluid or something. I don't even know. But yeah, a lot of times it's very confusing.

Then I cleaned some houses, and that one was fun, unless her house was really dirty. Yeah, some people have houses. These were some Richy people, and I'm like, Yeah. One time, this This old lady made me a sandwich. Let me go in her pool. That was really cool. Uh-uh. Yeah, they were nice.

Why? Was it your birthday or something?

No. She just must have liked me because we started talking. Sometimes I'll just make a friend. I get invited to a party. Yeah? Heck, yeah.

Real easy? Oh, yeah.

Wow. Yeah. I get around somebody else and their friend is like, Hey, you want to come? I'm like, Yeah, all right. I could be sitting at home doing nothing, having nothing. Then bam, I'm at a party eating shrimp and drinking the limo. I'm like, This is insane. You never know what's going to happen. Your day can change.

Yeah, your day can change. That's a great point. Yeah, rich, fancy. Yeah, fancy people love shrimp, I feel like.

Yeah, they do. It's a big thing. And they like me. So I like it.

Where's your son at now?

Is he- My son, he's a cable man in Masslyn. And he told me to tell you because he's a big fan. All them guys watch you. Oh, praise me.

Telling myself, What's up?

What's his name? Joe.

Joe, that's what's What's up? Joe Ansel?

Joe Rocker.

Joe Rocker. Yeah. Wow. It sounds like he should be in prison. It's that name.

Joe Rocker, right? Yeah.

And I don't mean that. Don't go to prison, Joe.

No.

We want you out here. But hey, if you go away, bro.

I'll send you commissary, son.

Free Joey.

I got your mother. Free Joey. That's a good one. Free Willy.

Free Joey, dude.

Yeah. And he's married. I got a great Teacher, daughter-in-law.Oh, she's a teacher?Oh, yeah. No way. At your school? Great teacher after I've been around, no. She's in Masslin. I'm in Cleveland. Wow. Yeah, she's from the better part, and I'm from the ghetto. So we share our stories. Yeah, we watch her little kids like it, and then you go to mine. It's two different, very-Different universes.Different universes. And I've been to both of them, so it's really funny to see.Oh, you have?Oh, yeah. I went to places because I got grandkids.

Oh, so you've worked at other schools in your own?

No, I've subbed, but I've went to other schools with her.Oh.

I see what it's like.On.

Her side, yeah. To see what it was like.

Lunch Ladies will sub at another school?

Back in the day, they did, but there was a point when I just stopped because I have a home plate and I didn't have to do it no more. That was for the other people. They still send subs and stuff around, but I quit subbing.

At a certain point, do you get a pension? Do Lunch Ladies get a pension?Oh, yeah.Yeah?

Yeah, I get CERS. It's like a retirement plan, so S-E-R-S.

How long does that take to build up? I don't know anything about it.

I've got 31, but my age, so when I'm 57, I now have 35 years, and I can retire with the full benefits and cheaper insurance, all that. But my age is still there. You know what I mean? I'm not going to be 65, so I couldn't get-Medicaid or whatever?medicated and all that. There's a little... Because I started too early. But hopefully, as long as I'm healthy and running, I want to keep running. You can keep working? Oh, yeah. I don't want to sit at home. What am I going to do at home? Be bomboms and get fat. Yeah.

You just said there's nothing to do.

There's nothing to do. No, my brain won't quit talking. It's like, I got to go. It's much better to talk to people than myself all the time. You know what I'm saying?

Did you ever try to go into your own business at any point, or do you like working with a group?

No, I like the group. I've never really tried. Yeah.

I just didn't know if that was something that different people think about or not, or sometimes do or don't think about.

Well, if I could have thought of something, but I didn't know what else I would be good at. I'm sure I could have probably did something else, but Yeah, I'm thinking. I'm smart, and I like to other jobs, but this is where I've been.

I think it makes me more happy, too, to be around so many people. That's what I was thinking, because doing your own thinking definitely be the other side of the track. You can isolate a Right. Any parents ever confront the lunch staff about anything? Does that ever happen?

Yeah. A couple of times through the years. I don't think a lot of principals stuff wouldn't let them, but I've had fathers or something ask me something.

Like angry about a soup or angry about a porridge or something?

My kid said that he didn't like that, knew it was something. It's like, what the fuck.

You all are serving bad lamb or something.

Right. I'm like, But not too many. With me, I even talk to a lot of the parents because I've seen the kids so long. I try to be friendly with all of them, explain if they ask me something, but I don't try to get into too much rift-raft because I live in New York.

Right. You want to keep things busy. That's right.

When you're seeing me up at the grocery store with some parents like, Hey, there she is.

Gosh, you're like the Dawn Corleona. Right.

I didn't even know.

I notice in nature, a lot of animals will fatten for winter or whatever. Does that happen with children, too, do you think?

Yeah, I think so. I do. I think that they eat and they get more in them for it. In the summertime, they're wanting to run around so much out there. I see that they eat less. I see their lunch, the garbage is heavier. Oh, really? In the summer than it is in the winter. I made a comment once, and I'm like, Wow, I noticed that. Because they want to run outside, I think.

You're thinking in the summer, they're throwing more stuff away, whereas in the winter, they're eating it.

Yeah, I do because sitting there and there's nothing else to do. They're not going outside. But when they're raring to go and it's beautiful out, you, you'd be like, Oh, forget it. I don't want to finish this.

Yeah, 100%.

I mean, not me. I'm going to eat it real fast and then go. But you know.

That's a good point. Some kids are like, Oh, it's too much fun out there.

When you can feel your body wanting to go play like hide and go seek or something, we have to eat.

It's the worst for a kid. It's like, God, I don't want to be eating right now. I could be having fun.

Yeah, you know it.

What are the kids? Do they interact when they're at the table together and stuff? What do the kids do? Or they just eat their lunch?

No, they talk, argue. They interact with each other and stuff through the whole lunch period and stuff like that. I can't really, I'm dumb for a minute.

I've been dumb for so long here. Take a minute. All right. Do you ever see milk come out of a kid's nose? People always say that. I saw that a couple of times.

Oh, yeah. The other day, it was just funny, just the other day, they're coming through the lunch line and they were playing outside too hard and the little boy just throwing up right in my lunch. Oh, yeah. I'm like, Okay, I'm going to look up and everybody's like, Melissa, I can't look. I'm like, Well, come on, guys. Let's hurry up. Let's get them out of here. I'm telling the little ones, Quit looking. They're like...

Oh, yeah.

But yeah, when stuff starts coming out of their nose because they're laughing. They probably think of other things that they're going to do. You got to tell them, Don't take that food because it's going to get warm, and then you'll get sick.

Yeah. Kids, I think they're... And they're just so energetic at the time. They'll vomit for no reason a lot of times. Somebody just pats them on the back, and it just exploded. I know.

That's what I was saying. I said, man, is he have the same one still thrown on? He better quit playing. I would like to him to eat first before he goes outside.

And then let's put a diaper in his mouth. Yeah, that's what you have, right?

Are kids allowed to bring phones in school these days? Yes. No way. Yeah. They're supposed to not use this and that.

So some of them have phones out during the day?

I see kids with phones.

No way. I cannot even imagine that.

Yeah, I never had a phone back then. Yeah.

It was such a better vibe, I feel like.

Yeah, me too. I think there's too much on the phones.

What would you change about the lunches that we serve to kids? Anything, or do you feel pretty good about them?

Right now, I'm I'm feeling a little bit better about them, like I said this year, because he's bringing out more different things that I think the kids would like. We do a General Soul's and Rice.

They'll do a General Soul's chicken?

Yeah. It's good. I love it. I'd be messing it up on General Soul's Day. Yeah? Yeah. There are certain days that I get excited because I'm like, Oh, I'm going to eat that. No.

And will you all save a little bit of the better side of things for yourselves?

I might have a little bit more sauce on mine. Hey, I made it. I think that's fair. I think that's fair. I do really believe that this year, I think, is one of the best with it. It's coming with lunches and stuff for the variety of different things that we have. So he's moving up. Like I said, I'm interested to see more of what he does, the new guy that's-The new food guy?

Yeah. Because he's the order, he's the boss?

He's the boss of changing all that. I've worked for about four different ones so far. Each one brings something different to the table. But right now, I'm liking what he's bringing. You know what I mean?

What was one of the craziest things you guys ever served over the years?

The hot dog that used to be in the beans, and it would turn colors. I had parents and aunts and people, all to this day, so they asked me about those green hot dogs with beans. Really? Yeah, but I liked it. But it did it. It would turn some color because it was stuck in the beans. Yeah.

Well, that's nature.

I know. That's what I said. I was like, It's probably preservatives or something in it. I don't know.

Oh, some of that's just natural preservatives.

We had this egg roll that was rolling. There's been a couple of items that I would have been like, No. I eat everything. I'm like, Mikey, and there's something I wouldn't eat.

They had an egg roll, too, for a while? Yeah.

The kids didn't really care for that egg roll.

So bizarre. I remember the bread they used to have. So the bread was always made in one big pan, It was like a whole pan full of rolls. And ours always had this dust on them. And people would be like, That's flouring. I'd be like, It doesn't seem like flour. It just seems like dust.

Oh, that's super. Yeah. So we were wrapping our rolls, and some of them will come like that with a whole bunch And I said, What is it? They're like, Just flour. And I'm like, That's a lot of flour on there. And the kids will see it, and I'm like, They're not going to believe it's flour. I said, It looks gross. I don't want to stir that one. It's just flour. We didn't believe. Exactly. That's terrible.

I'm trying to think of the ones. We had a couple of these different ones. That one... Can you look up Dusty School Lunch Rolls? Is that what he's looking up, Dusty School Lunch Rolls?

Dusty School Lunch Rolls.

Lunch Rolls. Yeah, maybe Soft Red Rolls.

But I've had the kids tell me, Let's look, what's on this? And I'm like, It's flour because that's what they tell me to them. It's flour.

I mean, it is flour. It doesn't seem like flour. It seems like science dust or something.

Yeah, maybe easy dust.

I don't know what- Yeah, it could be some powder, something. Sometimes I thought it would be a powder butter or something they might be putting on, but I could never figure it out. And they were never They never got the rolls really that good, I didn't feel like.

Yeah, we get different rolls and bread. We order from different departments at different times. We had Swables once. We had this. So the bread is not too bad, but you I always find some that comes in, like you just said, with a whole pile of dust. I'd be like, what is it? A hamburger bun? It's covered.

Yeah, that's what it was too.

I would be like, look, all this white.

It was the hamburger bun a lot of times.

I think when they make them, they must just throw that They had a flower at them after they pack them. It was crazy. But it does look funny because people don't want to eat that. Kids do make those comments. They notice anything on the food, anything. If it looks just a little strange or something, they're going to make a comment on it. But I It's great to be one of those. It's just flower because everybody says it.

It's not.

I know, but I'm like, I don't know. But is it? Is it?

Do you guys ever serve Slopy Joes ever?

We did. We haven't this year or whatever, but there was years We did. Some of the kids liked it. We had a teacher there years ago, and he did a little skit with me on the Slappy Joes.Oh, yeah?

About Adam Sandler?Yeah. I wore the white. When I first started, they gave me that white dress and all that, and you had to look-Oh, you had to dress a certain way? Yeah. But thank goodness, that didn't last long for me. Pull up that outfit, brother. We switched. Yeah, go on with that. White dress. I'm young now minding, I'm like, What does it look I'm going to have these loafer shoes?

You had to wear the white shoes?

Yes.

I remember those.

They were like K-Swisses or something sneakers. Exactly. Right there. That's what they gave me. One of those white-white. Wow. We did a little skit or whatever. It's around there somewhere on YouTube, somewhere. Who knows where it's at. But I put a mole on and all that. We did a little thing with that.

Do you do Slopy Joes? Yeah.

It was fun.

But they never serve them anymore, huh?

No, they haven't served Slopy Joes for a long time, and the kids seem to like it.

It was the only place you could get it at was school. That's what I'm saying. It was such a bizarre thing. You were like, I don't even know what it is.

It's like a- It's a match of meat.

What really It's not a hamburger.

Are you sure? Is that a sauce? We name them different things, but we just change a little.

Well, you could always tell. Is there stuff that if there's leftovers from the first day, then you'll use it in different recipes throughout the week? Yeah. Because you don't want to waste stuff.

No, all hot food has got to be thrown. Oh, really? Yeah. This is why if you're the manager, you have to know not to overcook too much because they want to go in there. Spaghetti. Right? But They like pasta and meatballs. Oh, those meatballs, boy.

They're hard to deal with?

Yeah, for my hands. They seem to want to just throw. Then I start singing to the kids, I dropped my poor meatball and hit me rolling.

Oh, from that song, remember?

Yeah.

What was it? That was a book, wasn't it?

I dropped my poor meatball. When somebody sneezed and rolled off the table, not to the floor. Then my more meatball was out the door.

I remember that.

We like to tease them On top of spaghetti, that was it. Yeah, it is.

Spaghetti.

Spaghetti.

This coconut cake.

And they love the mac and cheese.

Never mind. They love the mac and cheese? Yeah.

They love the mac and cheese.

God, who doesn't, though?

Right. I was just going to say who don't like cheese? Anything you got to put cheese on is good. Yeah.

That's really the thing that everybody loves. How big is you all school these days? You're at this side school now.

Yeah, I'm at the side school, but we're doing 600. But when we go back to this new one that they're building down the road for me, it's going to be huge. Then they're going to take and knock down the school down the road and put two schools to one. I should have over a thousand by then. But hopefully, I get more help. The short staff ain't what you want to hear all the time.

It's true. You've already had carpal tunnel.

That's what I said. I'll just keep going. I'll figure it out.

You're like the Aaron Rodgers of the Lunch Ladies. Yeah, I know, right?

That's good. I like it.

You really We are. But we need you back out there. What happened during the time off with the surgery?

Well, I did the summer. I didn't take off because I don't like to really miss work. I didn't take off. I just went and had the surgery right after we got out of school. But then it wasn't really healing as good. I think I messed it up a little bit as I went back earlier.

Did you?

Yeah, but it's hard not to use your hands. It's hard. I mean, if I try, if you put a hand, it's too hard. So this one, I just got a shot.

Roosters do it or chickens do it. Right?

Yeah, if I could be like a chicken.

I don't want to say they're dumb.

I don't know a lot of them, but- Some of them are. I mean, what are you just doing?

A lot of them are B-U-N-B.

What are you just doing?

I don't want them to hear me say it.

I know, right? When my Jay's after you. We see chickens all the time, and I watch them cross the street and then come back. Yeah. Yeah. People got chickens everywhere.

Really? By you? Yeah. I wonder Why?

I don't know. For the eggs, I think. I sell the eggs. Maybe they're going to get a golden egg.

Yeah, my sister has some chickens in her home, I think. Or she did anyway. Some of them might have gotten out. What Was there anything in the news? Let me think of something I was going to ask you about.

I'm still looking for floating gay witches.

Yeah, were you looking at gay... Floating gay witches. You know what? Yes. Did you... Anything on that sinking gay witchcraft? I found not the gay part, but the witch part you're spot on about.

He said not the gay part.

Bring it up. The ordeal usually involved the tying of a suspect's wrist to their ankles and then throwing the individual into a body of water with ropes attached. Contrary to popular belief, if the suspect sank, they were presumed innocent and hauled up. It was not common for them to perish unless they did so accidentally. Should they float, however, this was taken as confirmation of their alliance with the devil. So you had to sink. So if you didn't know how to sink, the premise of this ordeal was that it provoked direct intervention from God in determining the guilt or innocence of the accused, and the result was therefore seen as a revelation of God's judgment.

You had to put something in your Make sure you're sinking.

You better eat a heavy lunch.

You know something. Well, I'm not a swim, so I'm sinking.

You better eat a heavy lunch. Right. Anything else we need to know about the trade, about the lunch trade, about the industry, anything You said there was men infiltrating the business.

Is that- There's a couple of men, yeah, that's working in the kitchens now.

And is that new?

I think they've been there for a minute. I've only worked with one.

And are these bisexual men, or is it all types of men, you think?

All types. Yeah. Yeah, all types.

Everybody loves lunch, baby. Oh, they do. Yeah, I love it. I love it. I don't care if I love the men or women. I would still make lunch for myself and others.

Well, Yeah, me too. I don't care who it is.

Yeah, same here. You got to eat. Everybody's got to eat.

That's what I tell them. You got to eat. That's what's for it.

That's how I feel. I don't care where you look. I'm just trying to think of anything else we want to learn about the industry. We've learned that the kids come in. We've learned that sometimes you have to step over and give them a hug if they're having a tough time. We learned sometimes they bring cats and snakes through just because that's what's going on. The food plant. What about... I know, didn't they have... Michelle Obama had a program a few years back.

Yeah, we got quite a few things dropped off and stuff, and she gave a lot of stuff out to parents.

It was called Get Right. What was that program called? It was The Healthy Hunger Free Kids Act. Change Nutrition Standards for the National School Lunch program by requiring that schools serve more fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and fat-free and/or low-fat milk more frequently, and less starchy vegetables or foods high in sodium, sodium, and trans fat. Did that take effect? Did you actually see that happen in the school system? Because a lot of things that politicians and- Yes, they really did that.

They came out and gave boxes of the whole entire meals to parents and stuff and told them how to do it with the spices, everything. Oh, wow. Also, they give them a bag of fruit each week to take home. They have a lot of free fruit and vegetable program. Then once a month, we have a free produce and everything outside. Parents, everybody comes and gets it.

Oh, wow. There's a lot of stuff from your school that's available for the community? A lot. That you guys don't use at school?

Yeah. Nothing to do with you? Exactly. Wow. Yeah. It's amazing. Like I said, there's always trucks dropping off. They put stuff in the kids' book bags for them to take them for a meal for the weekend. Yeah.

Your mom ever come over to the school and get a meal from you?

Well, I had a stepmom. Oh, you did?

She passed. Oh, she passed away?

Yeah, but I didn't I make her food anyway. You didn't? No. Or her much, but it's cool. We'll talk about that.

Hey, look, it's tough. Stepmoms are hard to read.

It's tough. I have a real mom, but she's never came to school. She hasn't? No.

She should come get a meal. She's still alive? Yeah. Oh, yeah? Where does she live in Illinois?

No, wrong corner for me.

Oh, she does? Yeah. You guys aren't super close?

We see each other.

She just didn't come to the school?

Yeah.

I'm trying to think, don't they have Parents Day or something at the school where parents come?

Parents, yeah. They come in, they see stuff, but my principal and stuff feeds them. They don't eat our school's food. So I have other food brought in for them, and they'll eat.

Can a kid Can you have an older brother or a family member come and have lunch with them at school one day or no?

Oh, yeah.

Sure. So it happens a lot.

Oh, yeah. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, that's fun. Yeah, and you got a lot of siblings. You'll have five related in the-In the school system.in the school, yeah. So there's nothing for that.

Do you guys ever do pep rallies and stuff like that ever?

What's that energy? Well, they'll just start, Yeah, because they could have high energy because we get And then when I hear them, I get rowdy. So then I go running through the thing and make them clap. And then the teacher like, There's Melissa again. So most of them know that I'm going to do it. Oh, yeah. Or when they have dance, they're like, Here she comes. Watch. Because you get an antsy. I'm like, I'm hearing it. Am I supposed to just stand here and work when I got to go over there?

Yeah. I'm trying to think, do you still feel like you're in school a little bit? Is there Yeah.

I'm like, 15. I still feel like I've never got out of school life. That's pretty cool. It is, yeah. Then it's funny because I talk to people and I'm like, Yeah, I got to go to school. But really, I'm going to work. But they probably are thinking, Man, she's the longest in school. I've never seen somebody in school so long. Because I never say work. I just say I'm going to school.

You're like, God, you think that she'd graduate?

They're probably thinking, Dang, she's still in school.

Do you think some kids probably mostly eat at school and don't eat at home in your area? Yes.

Really? A lot of them. Yeah, we have children you wouldn't know that are homeless from everywhere, and they go to school. No way. Oh, yeah.

Is there homeless in your area? Yes.

A lot.

Wow. That's crazy, huh?

Yeah, definitely. It's got different over the neighborhood, too. Yeah. And lower and lower, yeah.

I think you're seeing a lot of homeless. With Homelessness on the Rise, the Supreme Court weighs, ban on Sleeping Outdoors.

Oh, yeah.

What is that idea? I love how they rephrase it to being sleeping outdoors. Pull this up a little bit more. The Supreme Court wrestle with major questions about the growing issue of homelessness on Monday as it considered whether cities can punish people for sleeping outside when shelter space is lacking. It's the most significant case before the high court in decades on the issue and comes as record numbers of people are without a permanent place to live in the United States. It's the States. What? The case started in the rural Oregon town of Grant's Pass, which began fining people 295 bucks.

Now, they can't even pay for it. They're homeless. They don't even have nowhere to go.

For sleeping outside as the cost of housing escalated and tents sprung up in the city's public parks. That's unbelievable because you're like, Where are people supposed to go?

They make a lot of spots over there, like tent city and stuff. There's places that you see a lot of But I wonder if they would also have to.

Is that considered sleeping outside? I don't know.

I couldn't see how you're going to give them a fine.

If you have a tent, I feel like you're... Because if people don't have a place to go and they make a tent, then they're trying to...

Trying to make a home? Yeah. I mean, right? A hundred %. Somebody's making a house, right?

Well, yeah. And some rent is so expensive. What do you expect someone to do? Oh, yeah. Especially if people get caught up in a drug pretty easily.

Well, there's a lot of that going now.

Well, especially when we advertise drugs on television in this country, like it's a new toy. Every single one. So you can't be shocked when people end up on drugs. And then now they're stuck outside, and Yeah, we don't have a place for them. Gosh, that's unbelievable. Yeah, imagine getting a ticket.

Yeah, I'd be laughing at them. What do you want me to do with this? I use it for a wipe because I don't even have a home. I don't even have a job. Where are you going to get 2.95.

For me? I was like, Hey, give me a whole roll of tickets. Could you give me some more tickets? Give me the soft ones, too. What are they going to do?

Put me in jail for a minute. Then I have a home and I can go to the bathroom and get a meal. I mean, if that's going to be... Gosh. Right? How rude.

Unbelievable. Or they'll probably make them start... They'll make schools start feeding the people, maybe. Did you ever try a homeless feeding program at your school? Yes. Really?

Yes. As As a matter of fact, in 2020, when all of them was at home, I was out there with N95 mask, and my custodian made me this drive-through door because it was cool stuff.

Your custodian made it for you?

Yeah, it was really cool when I came in. I was like, Shh, shh. But anybody come at the door and we would give them food. I gave a lot of food away around those couple of months.

Students and homeless people?

Students, homeless people. Wow. Yeah. Anybody? Anybody and everybody. Yeah. You saw some crazy stuff. Did you? Oh, I mean, you know. But hey, at least it was free food. You wasn't hungry because there was lots of places to get free food from.

Yeah, people got to eat. Yeah. I feel like if I put my glasses on, we look a little bit the same. You're a lot cuter, though. A little bit. I'm half Polish, are you? Yeah. Yeah?

Yeah. Holup.

Holup? Holup, holup.

Holup.

We done boys. I know, right? What are some things you've ever heard kids say that have been funny? Anything funny that comes out of your head over the years? Is there anything interesting? Because you're right there on the eavesdropping. I know.

It's just so hard to think of things at the time. I mean, I eavesdrop all the time. Don't get me wrong. Amen. Because I hear stuff I'm not supposed to hear. I just tried not to even... I'm thinking, They did what? And they're only, What?

Oh, kids making out or whatever.

Different things that they talk through the line. Being too fast. I'm like, Oh, man, I don't even want to hear all that now. They're fast. So I try to act like I'm not listening. But some will talk sometimes long time ago, maybe about their parents, or you get a little bit more scoop than you should know.

Things going on.

And things going on. Yeah, you probably shouldn't know.

Yeah. People smoking this.

Yeah. Well, their clothes smell like when they come in. So you knew their mom did it.

Anything on those sunken gaze, man? Bring it. You got an image on it, at least? Absolutely nothing. Just show me the first image. It comes up if you do it sunken gaze or witchcraft. There we go. There we go. Oh, my gosh. Hey, look. Oh, boy. And just go to Google, too, and let me see what they have for it if you'd put it in there. Okay, sinking gay men and put backslash witchcraft. I'm serious, man. This was a big thing when I was growing up. And go to Images, see what we get right there. What? Bring that picture up. Oh, so we get a picture of the Navy. Yeah, see, this is Well, I don't think that that's what- Right? I don't think that's what we're talking about. Melissa, Anselm, I want to thank you so much for your service, literally, for being a smile that people can see when they cross through the middle of their day. You're like the meridian in the ocean where the time zone changes when you cross it. I think that that's special. I know that that's important for a lot of kids, just to have somebody in the middle of the day to offer them a big smile.

That goes a long way, I think, just in the universe. Yeah, thank you for coming and spending time with us and helping us-Thank you, man.remenace a little bit-Thank you.about what it was like to go to lunch and have a lovely lady stand there and help us out, help us get through it. Thank you so much.

Thank you. Yeah.

Thank you so much for coming.

Thank you for having me. Now, I'm just floating on the breeze, and I feel I'm falling like these leaves.

I must be cornerstone.

Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind I found. I can feel it in my bones. But it's going to take.