All right, let's get some tour dates that we have. August 30 and 31st. These are new. We'll be back in Las Vegas, Nevada, at Resorts World Las Vegas. That is during LSU and USC weekend. University of Southern California. So if you want to come left during that weekend. Be grateful to have you there. It's going to be a joy. Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, September 25. North Little Rock, September 26. Springfield, Missouri, September 27. Kansas City, Missouri, September 28. Sioux Fall, South Dakota Dakota, October 10. Lacrosse, Wisconsin, October 11. Green Bay, Wisconsin on October 12. And Moline, Illinois, October 13. Grateful for all of those. Get your tickets@theovon.com. tour. And there are other shows, too. You can find them all on the website. Website. And I appreciate you guys support. I can't believe this, that we've gotten to do this. Thank you. We got new merch, guys. We have new colorways for the be good to yourself t shirts. We have blue jean, granite Bay, and banana. Check all that and more@theovonstore.com. the only place we sell merchandise. Boom. Boom. She got them. She got them. Shorty won a thug, baby. That's what they say. That's what they say, baby.

Shorty wanna thug, but douche do Shorty wanna thug, though? Look at ask bad, baby right now that you know. Sure they don't want that thug. You feel me? Sure they don't. How about this show? They don't wanna thug. That's a way better song. Show they want a businessman. Show they want an electrician. That's what show they won't, bruh. Sure, they want hopes and dreams. That's it. You know, some of the songs just aren't really. They're not telling the truth. That's the thing. Cause show they don't want a thug. Sure they don't wanna thug. Sure they wanna three bedroom house with two and a half baths. Where's that song, man? Where is that song? We need real music, baby. What's going on out there? What's going on? You little. You little cinnamon sniffers, baby. Where y'all at, huh? Where y'all at? Little hyped up today. It's humid. It's the heat. This heat got me, man. This heat got me, bro. You take an animal outside, and next thing you know, that thing's grilled. That thing is grilled, bro. You got you a little bee Shawn or whatever. You at the park, and next thing you know, that thing, it's grilled.

You'll have a couple of, uh. I don't want to say it, but c h I n e s e. You'll have them show up and be like, oh, so what's up? What's happening? Appetizer. But, yeah, it's just dangerous out there. Dangerous to hit the dog park. Dangerous for anybody. It's dangerous out there. A lot of heat. I was in Las Vegas this weekend. It was 117 degrees, man. I didn't know they had that much degrees. That's the kind of shit you see on the side of an oven, bro. That's just too much. It's just too much degrees for a regular man or woman. So what's going on, man? I missed you guys. Happy to be here today with you. Oh, I'm in. I'm in the studio. I'm in the OG studio today, so I really feel. Yeah, feel some nostalgia about that. A lot's been going on. A lot's been happening. I hope you guys are doing well. I'm trying to do more solo episodes because I think it's important and I miss it. I want to let you know that I miss it. Yeah. What's happening? You. I haven't spoken to you guys since I went to.

I went to Ireland, brother, in England, and they call it the United Kingdom, but. But it's not. It's. I guess it's kind of united, maybe. I don't know. If you're in Ireland and you're on stage and you yell out, fuck England. They go bonkers, dude. They will start eating the freckles off of each other. They. So I guess it's united, but it's competitive. So that's what they should call it, probably, the competitive kingdom. I think that's very fair. And even certain parts of it feel like in Ireland, they're like, we're the real Ireland. And then if you get over to. Once you get over to England, the people in Manchester, they're like, oh, fuck London. They're posh. And so there was just a lot going on, man. It was just a lot to be associated with. But I want to. I want to say thank you to all the people that came out over there. It's important that I address that. I did, you know, sometimes I feel like I leave a place, and there's not a way to say thank you, you know, I'll go to a show somewhere and I leave, and a lot of times I'll be sitting in the tour bus or the car or something, and I'll just be like, man, I wish.

How do I thank all these people, you know, and I'll share something on my social story or share a thank you, but I'm like, man, I just wish there was a way to, to thank people better sometimes. And Ireland was prey. Ireland was, it was something else, man. Godspeed to those drunken crooners, bro. Those people, they will, oh, they'll drink their buddy, dude, I saw a guy put a straw in his friend and fucking drink him right there. All I, damn. Wow. And he was lukewarm. Mostly men, I want to say that in Ireland, and they're going to disagree and not spawn, but it's mostly men over there. I've never seen so many men in my life. Wonderful men, you know, beautiful, semi beautiful, off beautiful, and not even beautiful men as well. And it's totally white, you know, whitest group. Afraid of the sun, but not of the Guinness. That's, they're not afraid. That's the one thing the Guinness, Bob, the darkest thing in the whole country is the Guinness. They didn't have any. Like, I even saw, I remember seeing one black guy and I was like, oh my God, are you a Guinness?

Like, they just don't have a lot of diversity, you know? In fact, if someone there has a black child, they just name it Guinness. And I'm like, well, that seems, but, um, but yeah, just a marvelous group of people over there, you know. And in Ireland, they're always, they send, there's always the one irish guy. They, none of them, they all stay inside and they're in there drinking and it doesn't matter where there is. It could be a home, an apartment, it could be a pet store. You open the pet store, there's a couple pets, right? And then there's like people just in there drinking. It could be in the open, a hardware store, and there's three wrenches and then eleven guys in there drinking and singing the Pogues songs, you know, it's um, it's a drinker's paradise over there. It really is. And then every now and then, you'll see the one irish guy who they send to check out to see if it's sunny outside, right? And that's, I don't know if he lost a bet or whatever, but there's always that one irish guy that they send out, you know, to check the weather.

And it could be two degrees celsius in Ireland, which is like 60 degrees fahrenheit, and he'll come back in with a sunburn. It's there. Anybody there? You cut a lamp on and four guys get sunburned in Ireland. It's just, all right, oh, shit. We need some aloe vera here for Brennan. So, you know, that's a lot of the culture. Even if I turn the light on on my phone, right. Eleven guys get sunburned immediately. You're like, oh, jesus, turn it off. We're gonna get cancer. There's always. It's always guys. It's like they're all singing. Anything. You open up anything. A pothole on the street, they're in there and they're just drinking beers and singing. It's just the culture. Cause I grew up in New Orleans, you know, and so there, there's a lot of drunk people vomiting and, like, projectile vomiting into people, you know, in the strip clubs and shit. And like. But in Ireland, it's just in them. It's in them. Their bones are 30 proof. It's just built into them. So it's a different kind of thing. They're drunk, but they're the. They're just irish. They're just irish. You know, the crazy one is, if a guy gets so drunk, the freckles on his face start kind of moving around or relocating, or they'll spell out things like, oh, you know, Donnie needs a taxi.

It'll just. The freckles will start to ask for help. That's when a guy is too drunk. And two Irish, you know, they're like, oh, Michael needs a biscuit. You know, it'll just start saying like that, oh, call the cops. You know, so you just have to be. You got to be. You got to look out for that guy. But it's a beautiful country, man. Beautiful people. And I guess this is how I kind of say thanks, you know, just by making sure. I try to reminisce. Um, what else was, oh, the best thing in Ireland, they're always like, all the girls are coming. You'll meet some fellas at a pub or something. They'll be like, the girls, the lady. They'll be here soon. The girls are coming. And you'll wait 20 minutes or 30 minutes, and the girls are never coming. There's got to be eleven women in Ireland. And they are busy. I'll say that. They're busy lasses, but they're never coming. We went out a couple nights and the, the guys we met, they're like, all right, I got mine. And we'd wait and they would just close the bar and send it.

Everybody home. The girls are never coming. We saw what? Oh, we saw the. In Belfast. And it's beautiful. Let me tell you this. These places are beautiful. I joke, but they're beautiful. They're beautiful places, and the people are beautiful. They really are as fascinating to see. Just this culture of just not obsessed with things as much as we are in the States, just more in their moment. I definitely noticed that about the Irish, you know, I mean, the moment is a bar. I will say that the moment is a. The moment is 20 proof. But they're in it. They're definitely in it. And we went to Belfast, and they have a museum. They're like, come see the Titanic. Where did. Where we built the Titanic. And I'm like, dude, I ain't gonna see that, bro. That the Titanic sank, bro. Why are you. Why, like, I don't understand. I guess, um. Like, why, if it sank, are you like, come see it? You know, you fucked. It's fucking shit, lad. It fucking. It drank the ocean, brother. So I don't want to see where you made it. That's not a good shop. That's, like, in Malaysia, if they're like, oh, come see where we made the plane.

You're like, it's fucking missing. So the girls are coming. They're never coming. Do you get it? They're never coming, the girls. But, yeah, you know, I'm joking, obviously. And you know what's funny, though? Irish and english people, you don't have to say you're joking. They fucking love it. That's what I learned. So maybe I'll try to say it less, you know, but, yeah, beautiful people over there. Beautiful people in Ireland. And every bar, though, yeah? Filled with Mendez. You open any door in Ireland, it's men. You open a pothole in there, people are drinking. You. You open a cupboard to get you a plate, and there's six people on the plate drinking. You open an app on your phone in Ireland, and there's three guys in the app drinking. You're like, what the hell is this? It's just the culture, man. You open up somebody. Somebody opened a new restaurant, and we went for the opening. Grand opening. We opened the doors. There's 48 people drinking, no food. We went to Dublin. Dublin. And that's, like, the posh Ireland, you know? That's like. They call it West England. That's what the other parts of Ireland call it.

And the shows there, it was phenomenal. We said one show, you know, it was good. It was really good, actually. And then we went down, to be honest. Look, I'll say when they're bad and there's some bad ones, but this one, it was a good one. It was a good one. Sometimes you get off stage you're like, oh, finally. It was good, you know? And I know I'm hard on myself, too, but it's like, yeah, that's how I feel about it. What else happened? Oh, yeah, we went down to cork, you know, and cork is at the bottom of Ireland, and it's a different type of place down there, you know, and you think, you know, Ireland, you think, oh, cork, you know, they're finally gonna put a cork in the bottle, you know, it'll be kind of sober Ireland or whatever, you know, and they're gonna get down there just living and living just comfortable lives, you know. But, nah, it's just drunk men, drunk cattle, even. They had drunk cattle. I saw two cows that couldn't even pay their tab at a pub, and they butchered them right there. Good, you know, just heartbreaking, you know?

And the barkeep, he's like, pay your tobac. They're like, and he's like, what are you saying? He's like, more beer. And then they fucking butchered him right there. But he don't. The cavs don't. They don't have any hands to even pay their tab. The guy put the little, like, electronic pay your tab thing in the guy, you know, all I got's the bell around her neck, and there's no credit info in ithemenous, so just kind of heartbreaking to witness some of that. But in cork, we performed in a tent, like, in a circus tent. It was outdoors. Blue and yellow. It's blue and yellow, and there's a couple. It just. And I was like, who is going to show up to this circus tent? And some freaking dogs showed up. So that was crazy. That show was kind of tough. Just. Ah, but it was great, man. It's just been, you know, it, um. Yeah. Hope I don't sound like I'm complaining. It's just been, yeah, just like, I don't know. Sometimes it all happens so fast and you wish you could hold on to it, you know? I think that's how I feel. Yeah, sometimes it just all happens so fast and you just want to hold on to it more.

But, yeah, we got to go see a dairy farmer, right? When we got over to Cork, the driver, our driver, his cousin or nephew was working at a dairy farm. So we went out there, and that was pretty cool. We got to see the cows and just, you know, I never known that much about a cow, to be honest with you, bro. Some people look at me and they're like, oh, yeah, this bastard knows about cows. Bro. This, that little cow, baby. You know, this, that little fucking bulldog, bro. That little calf, daddy. That's how they see me, like, oh, this little, this little boy will suck on an udder, you know? This boy is nasty. But the truth is, I don't know much about him. A lot of cows, when I look at them, they're like. They kind of remind me of blind people a little bit. And I don't know why, you know, I guess. And I don't know if I have to know why, you know? But, but, yeah, we got to go see a dairy farm and just see what it was like. And we got to sit at the table, at the farmer's table and just kind of have a meal with him and some tea, and that was awesome.

That was, like, the most, like, settled thing we did on the whole trip over there in the UK. Yeah. And it was just. But, and the girls are coming. The girls are never coming, guys. I don't even know how there's any people in Ireland, because you need women to make people, you know, I don't care how progressive you are. You put two dudes in a room for a long time, dude, you open that door again, there's only going to be two people in there. You need a woman, bro. They're the, they're the strike to the match. The match is dumb. The strike is where you get that magic, baby. And so, yeah, there's like, everybody's like, the girls are coming. They're never coming. They never showed up. We never saw them. We never saw them. Lied, didn't see. It's just, it's a bunch of Connor McGregor fans swearing that the girls are coming, and they. And I don't know where the girls are. I don't know. At the dairy farm was. That's the most females I saw. That was it, you know, and some of them were cute. I'll say it, you know, depending on how cold it gets.

Some of them were cute. Yeah. And the best. But, yeah, the, the wildest thing about Ireland is the, the craziest thing you can do. You can go on stage, you can say, fuck England, and they will go ape shit. They will start eating the freckles off their face. They'll fucking, they'll start licking the sunburn off their buddy. They'll do it all. You know, they really, they love to say that over there. But then we went to England, and. And we couldn't say that anymore on stage because we were in England, and England was great, dude. You know, I think people know I've had some history with the British over the years, you know? You know. Cause we used to be british or whatever. If you look at the Christopher Columbus, the Bible, or whatever, and we left. We're like, we're out, you know, Shorty won a thug, bro. So we left. But then. So I was always like, well, why would. You know, you know, it's not going. You know, you want to stay where you are, you know, you're moving forward, you know. You know, they say you can't go home again. You know, it's like that Miranda Lambert song.

It's just like, you know, you don't want to go back. It's not the same, but it was great, man. It was so great, dude. So I'll say fuck England when I'm in Ireland, but when I get to England, dude, I'm not saying it anymore. I had a great time. We went to Manchester, and one of the best shows, some amazing shows in London. We were playing during the soccer match. What was going on? We had Amir K. On tour with us. Shane Todd was there. If you haven't gotten to check him out, man, he's just such a joy to be around. Jimmy Carr showed up and did a guest set in London, along with Katherine Ryan. And so that was really cool. Just that kindness of them to say, hey, I'd love to come and be on the show. And that meant a lot to me. You know, I felt really, really welcome there. And it was also a time when the soccer was kicking off in. In the UK, so. So people in England were hyped, bro. Hurricane Harry Kane. People kept yelling, Harry Kane at me, and I thought my penis was hanging out.

I'm like, oh, shit, I'll wax it, you know? But, um, I just want to say thank you to everybody that came out over there. It's just such a crazy experience to go to another country, and people come out to the show, you know, and then you're worried that, like, people don't. Like, they don't know what you're talking about or that you have to change your references or whatever. But that's not that, you know, some of that's all in my head. So I think, like, in the first shows of. In Ireland, I was, like, worried, like, there's this exchange rate or whatever. I. But it's not necessarily the case, so, yeah, so that's what it was like over there. I'm trying to think of anything else kind of wonderful that happened. I mean, it was just fast, you know, it was. It just all it just happens at the speed of life. And sometimes it's. It feels quicker than we wish, you know? It feels quicker than we wish. Sometimes I feel like life wants to just, like, minutes are just faster than they used to be. Like, even minutes. They want to get done with it.

They're like, let's get done with it. They're like, I'm just a minute. I'm just going to hurry. It just used to feel like things were a little bit slower. Are you struggling with keeping your website up to date and running your business? Well, now you can binge all the web design and digital marketing you want with modify. Modify. Helps you with unlimited web design and redesigns, unlimited website updates, 24/7 support, and digital advertising. They design my website, and I'm grateful for that. They've done it for the past, maybe three and a half years, man. It's been a good experience with them. You know, they call it the last website you'll ever need, because you start this program with them, and then you just keep moving forward. They take care of the rest. You get a designated designer and support team. Consider updating your existing website or getting a new one. Visit modify.com theo for 50% off the last website you'll ever need. M o d I. Dash y.com theo, what else is going on, dude? Joe Biden, he's. I love this, bro. Joe Biden has decided now that he's running for president. Now, everybody knows that.

Or if you don't, and if you don't know, I don't. My issue with democratic party is taking advantage of a senior citizen. That's my issue. I think that they should have taken Bobby Kennedy on and brought him into the fold. I think that he is a plausible candidate who's willing to talk about real shit. That's how I feel. He's a plausible candidate that's willing to talk about real things and not only just wait for the question to come at him, but to say, this is what I want to do. And when he says it, you believe him. I think people are like, he's bat shit crazy. Yeah, well, everybody's bat shit crazy, dude, okay? Jim Henson put his hand up little bodies and made the Muppets, dude, you don't think that was fucking crazy? Yeah, it was, dude. So I just did. I've never liked that I known that this guy is not doing well, you know, my father was a senior citizen when I was born, so I don't like the taking advantage of somebody who is not mentally well. It's fucked up. It's. I don't care who you are. I don't care what you think.

It's messed up. And they was doing it. They was puppet and old fucking Joey B, son. And so here's the. Here's the hilariousness of it. So he's been experiencing dementia for a while, right? I think that's been pretty obvious. And now they kept telling him so much, like these puppeteers, whoever they are, we don't know who they are, but we know they are. They've been saying, like, you're the president, Joe. You're the guy. You're the president. And now when they're like, you're not, you can't do it, he's like, he built. Now he's the president. It's almost like you convince a puppet that they're real for so long, and suddenly they fucking. They believe it. So it's just gotten crazy, you know? It's like, if we can't control Biden, how can we control AI? You know? We can't even control b a I d e n. Dude, it's a rap, bro. It's a rap. So all this shit, to me is just kind of hilarious. I think we need more parties. We need more possibilities. I think we. I think the CIA and the FBI are corrupt. I believe that we are living in a very corrupt experience with our government.

That's really what I believe. And I don't believe that on the individual. I don't think that the individuals are. I want to say that, you know, but I think that the powers that are pushing them are because I don't believe that on an individual level. Anyway, sorry, that's a lot of politics from me, but I just. I am so excited now. I'm so. Cause imagine you, like, build a character on an. On an NBA two k or something, right? Or seven k or whatever it is now. And then finally you log in one time and you want to use your character or whatever, and your character just fucking looks at the screen and gives you those nate Diaz number ones, baby, the middle fangies. And then he just does his own shit on the game and you just have to watch. So that's what I'm told. I am hyped about this, about Biden, just because it's all. That's what you get. That's what you get for telling a puppet that it's real the whole time. Anyway, so not to get super political, but those are just some of my thoughts. I'm always about the underdog, you know, that a lot of times, I'm about the underdog, and I felt like they were miss.

They were. What they were doing to Joe Biden. Whatever you think about him politically. What they were doing to him, I thought was fucked up, you know, if I sat in a room with a senior citizen and I knew something was not well about him, and I said things to him or made him believe things, to take advantage of him, that's. That's a sick person that would do that, you know, that's. If that happened to my father. I've said this before. Somebody did that to my father, I would fucking take their legs off their body and hide them in their cousin's ass, dude. That's who I am, you know? There's just nothing sicker to me than that. It's like there's people that call old people and try to sell them gold and cheat them out of their money, all that shit. Or the. Those nigerian scammer people. I know that they're just trying to make money in their country, but just taking advantage of senior citizens, just fucking. That shit fucking makes me angry, bro. And I'm sorry to use a lot of profanity today. What else is going on? Sorry if this is all over the place, but, you know, I've never known what this show is, and so this is what it is.

I went to a WNBA game. I'll say it, dude. A lot of guys are afraid to say it, you know? You know, and I will say that I promised my father on his deathbed that I would not go to a WNBA game. That was, like, his one promise or whatever. And. And I probably, you know. And I felt like, of course I won't go. And he goes, oh, your mother. If your mother found out you went to a WNBA game, she'd roll over in her grave. And I said, I remember being like, well, mom's not dead yet. And he's like, she's dead on the inside. That's what he said. Whoa, dad, that's crazy. I mean, maybe, but that's crazy. But, no, I love you, mom. But. But I went to a game, man. I went to a game this past weekend in Las Vegas. I'm a Kate Martin fan. I'm not gonna sit in the closet anymore. I am a Kate Martin fan. I became an Iowa Hawkeye female basketball fan. I did. And a lot. You know, for some people, it's almost like admitting that they're using drugs or whatever. For me, it's not like that.

I became an Iowa Hawkeye's fan. Female hoops I mean, they put up way more points than the Iowa men's football team. So right there, if you even want to see a point scored, you gotta watch them if you're even anywhere near Iowa City, so. But, yes, I went to a Kate Martin game, and I got to see her play, dude. And I was fucking excited, man. I'm not gonna. And I'll say this. This is the best thing. The best thing that I didn't realize is some of the players, as a guy, you're sitting there, you're watching the game, and first of all, it's super relatable. And I'll tell you why. Because a lot of times, you'll see the women driving to the hoop, and they can't dunk, right? They can't dunk. And that's fine, but it's. To me, it's the most relatable thing I've ever seen. I can't dunk. You know, at this point in my life, I can't dunk. So if I'm going to the hoop and I got a layup, it's a. There's nothing more relatable to a white guy than driving to the hoop, and you can't dunk. So at that moment, I was like, holy shit.

This is the most relatable moment of my whole life. I can't really relate to all those bangers that are out there in the NBA, all those Beyonce Carters, baby. Them Vince Carter's. I can't. You know, I can admire it, but I can relate to it. But when you see somebody coasting through the lane or trying to figure it out, catching a bounce pass, and they're going up and. And the only thing they can do is lay up, bruh, as a white, off white, semi nicaraguan guy, I can relate 1000%, dude. So that's one thing that I realized. It was so relatable about the games, man. The second thing that I thought was really fascinating is, as a man, some of the players, you're attracted to them. You know, you're watching the players, and a lot of. A lot of their women, they're women. So if you's a man that likes a woman, a woman, then you're, you know, so it's weird. So it's like, you know, at the men's game, that never happens. I'm just kind of marveling at the athleticism. I'm hoping that none of the players are trying to bang my girl or whatever, just usual shit.

But as at the WNBA game, you're like, damn, shawty. Shawty. Shawty. The show, they want a comic. You know, you just. It's different. So I realized that I thought that was interesting just to have this element of, like, oh, I'm attracted to some of these gals, bruh, and some guys you like. I would never be attracted, bruh. Go to the games, dude. Go to the games, bruh. See if some of these beautiful broads don't hit a three pointer and your butt starts sweating a little. All right. Live your life. Oh, wait a minute. Paper. So, yeah, so. Just been praying about a lot of that kind of stuff, man. But that was. So. Those were some things about the WNBA game that I really loved, and I know it sounds crazy to say that. I'm sorry, dad. I'm sorry, dad. But Asia Wilson broke the franchise record. I didn't know there was a franchise, but it doesn't matter. She broke the franchise record, and this is one of the best things that the WNBA has going forward, as well, I think. This is my opinion. My opinion means nothing. Means nothing. You could feed it to a fucking baby.

You could feed it to a bichon. But the fact that the best team in the league right now is in Las Vegas. So you have so many people that are just in Las Vegas that are there, you know, touristing. So if they go see a team, bro, they're gonna see the best team. So I'm not sure if that's by design. You never know. That's the dark arch, is the people in the distance. You don't know what they're doing. But. But, yeah, it was just. There's just so many different little elements that kind of happen at a WNBA game, and some people are gonna chirp me or whatever for having gone, look, you know. You know, I'm an underdog. I've. You know, that's where I'm at, so. But, yeah, it was okay. It was. It was a great. It was a. I had a great time, man. It was fun. It just. And I'll say this. The games are a little shorter, it's a little quicker, and you're attract. You're attracted to some of the ladies on the court. So, you know, they got. It's like, damn. And you. It's just. There's a different thing going on when you are a man at the game, I think.

And that's okay, man. It just is what it is. And so, I had a great time with my family, dude. I had an amazing. Some of my best. The best shows I've had in the past few years were throughout Idaho and Utah. This week. I want to thank everybody that came out. That really meant a lot. Just even being in Las Vegas, you know, just getting to be in Las Vegas, dude, it's like, you go to Las Vegas and the fricking advertisement goes by and it's me, you know, and I sat there with my mom and we rode in together for my brothers. Cause we spent. We spent 4 July with my brother. He lives in Springdale, Utah, and there's nobody, it's 250 people there. And he likes it. He likes the place and he likes being there. And it was just nice, man, I got to go to lunch with my nephew and just be like, you know, what's going on, bro? You know, and talk about his life and stuff. And, yeah, that was cool. It made me feel. It was nice. I'm thankful to God that I got to have that kind of moment just where, you know, we got to go together.

And then I'm able, you know, I'm trusted to take my nephew out to lunch and. And we just had a nice time. We drove around and just talked stuff, you know, because I think maybe sometimes for nephews, some. Some things they can't talk about their dads with. I don't know, but it was just cool, you know? And, yeah, that made me feel like. Like I had some value, you know, like important, like, or just like familial ly, like family importance or whatever they call it. But, yeah, we got to draw. We got, we rode back in with my mom, and she came to my show on Friday night. And if you write that show in Vegas, it was pretty cool, you know, I know my, you know, me figuring out, like, my, like, yeah, I mean, my mother and I had a tough time growing, you know, we've had a tough time over the years, and. But she still stays. She, you know, she listens to every episode of this show, you know, which is kind of wild because she couldn't be there when I was young, you know, but I know she tries her best to show up as an adult, you know, when I'm now, you know, and so it's just, I feel.

I don't know, it just, you know, and some of that's been. It's been hard for me to, like, evolve, like, you know, to forgive my mom and stuff. But, yeah, I'm grateful that, you know, even the people, like, I'm just grateful that my mom has been patient while I'm trying to figure this out and go through it. And it's gotten a lot better, you know? It's gotten a lot better, man. I'm just. I'm really thankful to God for that, you know, into the powers that be in the world, because I didn't know, you know? I don't know. Sometimes I never knew if I would have any other feelings towards my mom other than discomfort, and that's not the case now. I have, like, feelings that pop into my head where that are new and different. So I'm just. Yeah, I'm just thankful that. Yeah, I'm thankful about that. But it was just fun, you know, that she got to come and see me do what I like to do, you know? And so I'm just. Yeah, I'm just grateful for that because every kid just wants to make their mom or dad proud, you know, that's all they want to do.

That's it, you know? I mean, they want to steal their parents car sometimes, too, but outside of that, you know, and they want to frickin hook up with a strain or with, like, some. Somebody from down the street when their parents are out of town or whatever, but outside of that, dude, all they want to do is make their parents proud, you know? So. So that was really special to me. What else is going on? Sorry if I'm rambling. We haven't even gotten into any you guys calls. And really why I feel the only reason I even want to do these episodes is so I can check in with you guys, bro. No cap, dude. Or for real, sorry to say, no cap at my age. And so, you know, I asked in the past, the last solo episode, and I try to. Solo episodes are kind of linked, and so if you're not familiar with this podcast or if you're new to it, solo episodes are kind of linked. And so I asked in the past, who listens to the episode? So I'm just going to rattle off a few of them right here.

Here we go.

Hi, theo. My name is Zeta, and you were wondering what people do for work. I'm telling you what my job is. I grade beef. Yeah. And I'm kind of a bigger girl, if you know what I'm saying. So it's kind of embarrassing because people probably think I'll sneak a snack or something, but my job basically is like, when you go to the grocery store and you, you know, buy a ribeye steak or something, and it says, like, prime ribeye or choice ribeye or select or whatever. That's what I. That's what I grade. It's pretty cool job. I love my job.

I love your job. And I love you, too. Thank you for grading that beef, shorty. Give me a c plus, I be good. That's who I am. No saying give me a 75, baby. I'm good. Long as it look. Long as you don't say my meat contaminated, baby, we good. You feel me? Who else listens to the show?

Hey, Theo, this is Neil in Wisconsin.

Just checking in out here delivering carbon.

Dioxide, also known as CO2, also known as carbonation. Trying to make sure that everybody's sodas are of busy and remain that way. Gang.

Gang. Amen, baby. Keep it fizzy out there, baby. Keep them bubs, bubb and dog. You know what I'm saying? You that champagne, baby. You the champagne in my life, daddy. Let's hear more, dog. Who else listens to the episodes?

I work as a social worker.

Oh, damn.

In some jails here in Nevada. I just want to let you know I listen to the pod. You're always playing in the background while I'm sitting here at the jail after I see everybody and just wanted to give you a call and say thank you. I appreciate what you do. I'm out there talking to people, keeping them going, and you're back here talking to me, keeping me going. Thank you.

Oh, thanks. Yeah, I always wanted to go to jail, and. And I might sometime, I don't know. We'll see how bad my marriage is one day if I get married. But. But thank you, love. I appreciate that. And thank you for keeping them boys going. I know people make mistakes, and they still need to. They still deserve to help, to get help when they need the most help sometimes, baby. Praise God. You feel that on me? Gang, gang. Let's hear another one.

Hey, Theo, this is Danielle from Illinois.

Daniellino, baby. Let's hear it.

I'm a beauty school dropout turned production welder, and I just heard your pod, the merging, where you asked what everybody does for a living. So I figured I'd call in and let you know.

Amen, baby. Thank you for calling. Use a welder, huh? You welding that bead work, huh? I feel you, baby. Why don't you frickin me up a little steak, baby? That's what I would like to see. Somebody that, you know. Steak by welder, and that bitch is just fucking grilled to it. That thing look like a bug it down. Dark mcNugget, baby. Damn, baby. Praise God. Let's hear more.

Hey, Theo. My name's Peyton, and I am a school nurse, and I absolutely love your podcast. It's one of my favorites. I just sit here dying.

Well, thanks, Peyton. I appreciate you. I appreciate you for listening. And God, the school nurse, dude, if you got a school nurse, that was hot, dude. It was like God just praying for cancer or whatever. Onward.

I adored your podcast with Melissa Ansel, the school lunch lady. It was hilarious and so relatable.

Oh yeah, she's on that lunch game, baby. A lot of broads in that, in them meal streets. Hear more.

I just wanted to call in and let you know that I was a nurse and I love you. And I do have a question. How hot is Joe Rogan in person?

Well, he's Joe. Joe is a handsome guy. He has a great smile. That's one thing about Joe. If when he smiles it like you like, it's awesome. He is very fit. I think he's a handsome guy. I'm not a woman. I don't know how you know woman's see handsome, but for a man, that's. I think of him as a, as a handsome guy. For sure. He is. People ask me about Joe Rogan all the time. Literally. I feel like I'm Joe Rogan. I feel like I'm a secretary sometimes for Joe Rogan or like I'm like that whoever the speaker of the house is or something, it's a lady with the curly hair for Biden who. They always ask her questions. I think Joe Rogan is very smart. That's one thing about him. People try to label him, I think, as different things sometimes. He is a smart guy. He has a great memory. You can't really lie to him because he, he remembers. So if you tell him some shit, it's just like, you know, he remembers. And it's also nice that he remembers. It makes him very endearing, you know, because he remembers things about you and about the world and.

Yeah, he's like a library. That's one thing that I really think about him. It's like if they could make a library person, it's Joe Rogan. You can kind of show up to the desk and ask, hey, do we have a book about this? And he will go into his memory because he's had so many conversations and informative conversations, and he will share what he can remember or what he knows. And that's one thing that I think is very fascinating about him. He's a fascinating man. He really is. And then when you get to go watch him do the UFC, it's just like, he's like commentating. Then he goes in the ring like, it's fun, man. I just feel so lucky that he helped a lot of comics and fighters, UFC people kind of connect in some weird way, so. Yeah, but that's what he's like, I think. Yeah. And I think that's exactly how I think about him. And I know if. Yeah, if I reach out to him about something, he's willing to be helpful. And I also know he's a very busy guy, so I respect his time. But, yeah, what else is going on?

Thank you guys for calling. And let me know who listens. Yeah, hit the hotline. 908 5664-9503 just let me know who listens. I just want to know who's out there. Yeah, what else, man? Let's hit the news really quick. We got some. We have some callers that called in about their first time, somebody touching their genitalia. We're going to get to that shortly. And then a few other callers that called in. What's in the news today? Oh, Biden spotlight support for NATO as he looks to summit help reset stumbling campaign. Oh, I already talked about that. Yeah. That Joe Biden wants to be the president now. They told him he was the. You tell him he's the president for so long, and then he just walks off believing he's the president, baby. Let him cook, son. Let him cook, bro. That's where I'm at. He's our Biden Stein, baby. He's our pres. Nokia babye. You japet owed him, now let him cook. Let him install. I want handicap rails along the Mississippi river. I want free jello for anyone who can whistle. I want free readers digest for all natural born citizens. Let him cook, baby.

Let. I'm just so excited now that they made somebody believe something, and now that dude is like, no, you're not telling me. I'm not the president. I'm running, bro. Things could not get any crazier, man. And so that's got to be. We have to look at it, I think, as the. In the excitement part, you know, is pornography causing a problem in your life? That's a good question. It's a real question. It has in mind. It has. At certain periods in my life, watching porno and everything and watching porno was making me. It was ruining my life. It was ruining my life, man. Made me feel just so much shame. That's what it did. Well, I'm watching. Pornography has become commonplace today, and oftentimes men will use porno to numb the pain of loneliness, boredom, anxiety, and depression. That's why I want to introduce you to my friend Stephen Wolt. Steve is the founder of Valor Recovery. He is a dear friend of mine. He is a dear friend of mine. And Valor Recovery is a program to help men overcome porn abuse and sexual compulsivity. That's right. Their coaches are in long term recovery and they will be your partner, mentor, and spiritual guide to transcend problematic behaviors.

There is zero commitment if you reach out to them. It's just the first step in trying to figure out if you may need some help. If you can get some help to learn more about valor recovery, please visit them at valor recoverycoaching.com or email them at admin coaching.com. the links will be on the YouTube. And again, there's no commitment when you. Commitment when you reach out to them. But I promise you, only something positive will come from you reaching out and figuring out if, what type of help, if any, could benefit you. Thank you. What else, man? Yeah, you know what? Actually, I want to share this, dude. I am. This is true for me. Let me see. I am, as of today, I want to let you know that I am 36 days off of masturbation and I am 42 days off of pornography. And that, for me, is awesome. That is awesome. You know, some people don't worry about that kind of stuff, you know, and that's fine. But for me, a lot of my life, I like, if I felt uncomfortable, like, you know, one day I should do an episode probably maybe, about this kind of stuff.

But, yeah, when I was young, I didn't, you know, I had a lot of trouble relating to women or talking to women. I was very scared of women and dating. I think a lot of it was, you know, I didn't have a connection with my mother. And I've talked about that. I'm not trying to beat that dead horse, but because of that, you know, when you don't have a connection with your mom, that's your first connection with a woman. So I went into the world, and I was just so scared. I just was so scared of any connection, any intimate connection with a female. And so when pornography came along, it was easy. It was like, oh, I can have some form of intimacy, but it's nothing. It's not real. You know, it just. It filled, like, this space that was huge in me. I didn't know how big it was at the time. And so that for a long time, anytime I had a feeling or anything, you know, I would watch pornography or something where I would masturbate or do something like that, because I just didn't know how to handle any of my feelings, especially if it was a feeling about, like, maybe dating or intimacy or whatever.

I don't know. I don't know. A lot of it I'm still learning about. But, um. But, yeah, so to have this break, to have this, like, space and. Yeah, I mean, I've had date, you know, it changed over time. Like, it got better, but it still was always this thing, like, where if I felt uncomfortable then that, you know, I would resort to that because it would make me feel something. It would make me feel some connection, even if it wasn't real. So, yeah, I'm just. I haven't had this kind of a time in my life where I've had that long off of those things. And so I'm just really thankful for that, man, you know? And, yeah, I started working. My buddy, he works at this valor recovery. We do ads for them. Sometimes we do pro bono ads for their company, because I believe in what they do. Anyway, maybe one day I'll do a more episode about that kind of stuff, about being addicted to that sort of thing and that sort of thing. Maybe it would be, you know, something to do. Anyway, let's get to some calls, man. You guys have spent your time calling in.

I want to see a lot of people have called in. You know, the last solo episode, we talked about the first time somebody ever touched your genitalia, which is a very important time in somebody's life, because for most of your life, your genitalia, it's yours. It's yours. 99%. 99.9% of the time, it's yours. It's your junk, it's your little, fucking, dirty little secret. But sometimes you let other people touch it, and you let them get involved with it. And so, that's what I wanted to figure out and see if we could get to some of those calls. Right here, actually.

Yo, Theo. It's Mike from the Quad Cities.

What's up, Mike? Quad cities over there. And I believe that that's molenede. Let me see. Quad Cities, Iowa, it's Moline. Bettendorf. Davenport. Rock island. And Moline. We're coming to Moline as well, man. Let's hear more.

Illinois, Rock island, calling about the statement you made regarding when's the first time someone touched your genitalia.

Oh, yeah, baby. That first junk fucking, too, baby. Because there's nothing. Because your whole life you've had your penis. You don't even know when you're a kid, do you even have a penis? But then you get to, like, twelve you're like, holy shit, dude. I got this wand on me. Or you're a woman. You're like, holy shit, you know, I got this pocket on me. You know, I got this fucking little party oyster on me. What do I do? Let's hear more.

Besides myself, it was. I was on the basketball court at the fitness center. I was playing a five on five, full court, and we was playing with a group of older people. They was probably 14, and they was probably around 40, I don't know. And there was a. There was a female one of them, and she was guarding me, and I cut to the hoop, and she cut to the draws. You know what I'm saying? She. She rubbed her hand across that shaft.

Well, homie, you got molested, buddy. And, you know, I'm not a cop or anything. I. You know, I'm not a detective for sure, dude. I can't even find my sandals that I fucking. I swear to God, they were at my apartment. But, yeah, you got molested, man. I'm sorry to hear about that. Let's hear another one. What do we got here?

Theo, this is Jaden from Indiana. He told us to call in about the first time somebody touched your genitalia. And I have a vivid memory of that, which was, I had this girl over to my house when I was about 16, and, you know, it was the first time I had her up to my room.

Oh, bro, the first time somebody comes to your room, it's so crazy. You're. You don't even know what to. Dude, dude, it's so. The first time a girl comes to your room, you're less, like, what? I've only seen this on the Internet. Sorry, man. I just had to relive that moment. It's such a moment. Onward, brother.

I don't mean that. Not trying to be creepy or nothing.

But we are creepy, brother. We're all creepy, dude.

This is the first time we were alone together, so it's just destined to happen that something was gonna go down. And I remember the very first two minutes of my.

Bro, just tell us what happened, dude, this guy's just drawn. Jesus, bro, tell us what happened. Homeward.

Very firsthand job. You know, my cousin walks into my door, and my door was a blanket tacked up to the door frame, you know, just covering the doorway there, bro.

Get a frickin door, dude. You're trying to get a hand job behind a blanket, dude, like you're some kind of magician. Get a door, whitey. Fuck, dude. I hate that kind. I'm sorry to be upset with. You sound like you seem like a great guy, but I. When people get a door, man, you have a whole room, and you don't have a fucking door. Let's hear more.

And this guy just bust through my blanket door. What?

It's a bl. It's not a door. Don't say it's a door.

Tree, fort, whatever you want to call it of a door. And, uh, he's like, oh, my God. Don't ever let me see you doing that again. Like, dude, this is my room, and here you coming through my fucking blanket door like an animal. And, uh, it was just something else, brother.

Well, you put up a damn doggy door, dude. You can't be shocked if somebody runs in through a damn doggy door, homie. Get well, homie. Praise God, brother. Let's hear more, dude.

Hey, Theo. My name is Mandy. On your most recent episode, you asked people to call in about the first time that they. That someone ever touched their genital area.

Show they want at the. Yes, ma'am, I did. Thank you for calling in about that. Onward.

And my now husband, we've been dating since we were both 15, so when he was over at my house, my parents, they were out in our hot tub, and it was just us in the living room, and we were watching the movie water boy.

Whoa, whoa. If somebody touches your fricking junk to water Boyd. Let's hear more.

And we started, like, making out and kissing, and I was wearing these, like, dark jeans, and he started. He, like, put his hand down there and started, like, you know, rubbing the.

Area, but, oh, my God, he's a pervert, obviously.

You know, we're 15. We don't know what we're doing. He's, like, kind of, you know, being a little aggressive with it, a little hard. Well, my mom came in from inside, and so we, like, panicked and, like, jumped up, and then we looked at his hand, and his hand was dyed blue. Like, his fingers were dyed blue from rubbing my jeans so hard. And then it's kind of awkward because we were only 15, so we couldn't drive home. So then my mom had to drive him home, so I was a little awkward. But after that, you know, that was the first time. So after that, we got kind of into it and ended up riding his bike through a blizzard for a few miles to come do it.

Wow. You rode a bike through a blizzard to come? Dude, that's crazy. That's the kind of shit that I'm like, what? But, you know, we've all done things to ejaculator to. I don't know what women do, but to are, you know, to pretend we're ejaculating. Wow. Rid of, bike through a blizzard to come. That's unbelievable. Well, but yeah. Oh, I can relate. The jeans, the pant rubbing. Dude, I remember. Oh, this is horrible. One of the first time I got. So this girl, like, there was these two girls in school when I was in like 7th or 8th grade, and they were like, they had like drank alcohol and smoked cigarettes, and they were like, they knew about the world, you know, like, they probably like played with their, you know, vaginas or whatever. And so my buddy and I went over there and I'm like, dude, we can't go over there, dude. These girls are like real girls. Like, we can't handle that. Look, we're fucking idiots, dude. You know, we're eating lifesavers and stuff. We can't. What are we going to do? We go over and this one girl, I rubbed on her.

I just remember rubbing on her pants hard. And she had had. She was dealing with a menstrual cycle she was dealing with a menstrual cycle that had come in or whatever. And I just remember just, just, I mean, rubbing on her like a damn genie lamp. I mean, just wishing, just wishing. And at a certain point you could see that it was like a. Dude, this ain't the time to be using this lamp. So it's just, I don't know, feel bad about some things, but. But, yeah, riding. Driving through a. A blizzard to ejaculate is insane. Let's hear more.

But again. So, yeah. And now we're married.

Oh, you're married now. Well, that's beautiful, man. God loves and God lives. That's beautiful. Wow. Oh, man, that's good. Thank you so much for telling us that. Let's hear another call that came in. And this is about the first time somebody ever touched your crops. Because there's, there's, you know, there's some times in your life you remember. There's times in life you don't. First time you went to burger King. Who gives an f, dude? My mom used to work there. Actually just found out that this weekend. Thanks, mom, for waiting your whole life to tell me stuff about you. Let's hear another call.

Hey, theo. Man, the first time that I got my genitals touched was I was about 13. I just hit puberty. And it was my 60 or 70 year old doctor. It seemed like after I hit puberty, he would always ask my mom to go out in the hallway so we can do the whatever, and he fill me up and tell me to do different coughs and stuff like that. So it was definitely my doctor.

It sounds like he got molested, buddy. And I'm not trying to accuse anybody. I don't know the guy, but if you stand in there and the guy is like, I'm going to hold your penis while you cough the star Spangled banner or whatever, then you were getting molested, dude. You know. You know, if the guy's like, I'm going to hold your penis while you cough the lyric, or, you know, while you cough the beat to forgot about Dre, then you got molested, you know, and it's nothing personal, and I feel sorry about it. I don't know how else to say it, but, yeah, but, yeah, man. You just got to take care of yourself, dude. And I hope you're doing better now. And I really do hope that, man. I really do. And I love you, man. Let's hear what else is going on. Let's hear another call.

Hey, Theo, this is Yavanna from Texas.

Hey, Yvonna from Texas. Thank you for calling.

I have a very interesting story for you. So, I'm black, right?

Okay. And that's fine. I know some. I know a lot of black folks. Onward.

And I was chatting it up with this white guy, right? That's like 40 ish minutes away from me. And so he called me on Snapchat, right? Like, we're on a call, and then he says that if I was a slave, he would buy me. And the worst part about that story is that it turned me on a little bit. So I don't know. What are your thoughts on that?

I mean, you know, I think, well, different things turn different people on. You know, there was a time in my life where I would put chocolate on women's back, you know, and call them chocolate backs or whatever, and that shit wouldn't, you know, make me. Would, you know, turn me on and make me want to just fucking. Just really just rattle inside of them. Inside of those women. And there's, you know, I think if he said if you were. I mean, this is crazy to be saying if he's. If he said if you were a slave, I would buy you, but then what would he do? Would he set you free? I think that would be my question. Because if not, this guy is a sex trafficker, you know? So that's where I'm at. I would find out the next chapter of this book, you know, how many years a slave? You know? That's what I would find out, because that's some. That's some wild shit. But then I. You know, I think there's some people that don't care. You know, a lot of it's. Some of that stuff. It just. It's so far in the past, some people are able to just look past it, and they think that it's.

It can be okay. It can be a Halloween costume or whatever. We had a Halloween costume one time, and it was a mixed couple that showed up to our door, and they were, like, in, like, a slave and, like, slave owner role or whatever, and the. And the woman had the guy on a leash or whatever. So, you know, some people. It might be like a party thing. I don't know what kind of parties there are out there. Like, if there's, like, any, like, Harriet tubba palooza or whatever. I don't know the kind of stuff that's happening. I. I don't know. I'm attracted to black women. I think some of them are taller than me, but some of them aren't. But, um. I don't know. I don't know anything. But I hope you guys are still in love or whatever, if you want to be, and I hope that you got. This isn't funny. I hope you got emancipated if he was willing to do that, because it sounds like you guys are into some weird shit. Um, what else do we have going on? Here we go. We got a call right here.

Hey, theo. I needed some help, man. I figured you was the guy to call about it, so I got an uncle who's handicapped, and he's in a wheelchair, and I had to carry him in.

Well, hopefully he's in a damn wheelchair. Hopefully y'all ain't just dragging him around, you know? Let's hear more.

To carry him in to the house, because he can't. He can't walk or anything, and I touched his wiener a little bit, and I was just. I'm trying to. I'm trying to wrap my head around the fact, you know, you know, that we make contact and just trying to. I'm just trying to figure out if I was. If I was.

Y'all. Y'all didn't make contact? You touched his wiener, dude. That's what you just said. You touched his wiener. If I go to a zoo or something and somebody's watch standing there looking at the pandas or whatever, eating popcorn, and I touch the guy's wiener, it don't have anything to do with him. That. That guy, he's enjoying animals and eating carbs or whatever. I'm the. We. I'm touching the guys. If you carry somebody in. Let's hear more. This is confusing.

Uncle who's. Who's handicapped and he's in a wheelchair. And I had to carry him in to the house. Cause he can't. He can't walk or anything. And I touched his wiener a little bit. And I was just. I'm trying to. I'm trying to wrap my head around the fact, you know, you know, that we make contact.

Yeah, look, now I understand a little better. So you was carrying him and he touched his wiener a little. Now I'll say that if you carry him back out and touch his wiener. And he keeps saying, hey, carry me in, carry me out. Carry me in, carry me out, carry me in, carry me out. And then you gotta change his changes pants or whatever, then that's. That shit seems illegal to me, dude. Then you guys are gay? I think so, yeah. I think if it's. But if once a day you carry him from here to there, whatever. And touches weiner a little bit or just mile, you know, keep him fired up or whatever about the next day or whatever, I think that's fine. But if you're carting them all over until he ejects or whatever, and then you. To me, you are a. Oh, you're a bad guy. And that's what I'll tell you, brother. And I'm not judging you because I don't know you. But you've been touching that guy's wiener and he's handicapped. And that's the scariest thing about touching handicapped guys wiener is they can't stop you. So if you want, you could do unlimited touches on it.

And that's where the devil lives, brother. What else do we have going on here? Here we go. We got a call right here. I like this, man. I can already tell by the tagline.

Hey, man, this is Cody from Alabama. I just calling to say hey and tell you that I appreciate you. I listen to you every day when I'm at work.

Thanks Cody, man. I appreciate you too, brother. I appreciate you calling as well. And just take some time to share some of your life with us, man. Onward.

I work for a machine shop, but I took some advice that you gave when you had Dave Ramsey on. You had suggested ways of, you know, making extra money. So I went and bought a pressure washer. And just as expensive as things are now, I got a family. I've got three kids and, you know, they're not cheap. So I just needed an extra way to make some money. So I took your advice and, man, I'm cleaning up. Like, I'm getting, you know, one or two jobs a weekend now. So I just wanted to call in and say thanks for the advice, and I appreciate, you know, everything you do.

Hey, man, thank you so much, dude. I'm going to. I'm a reach out. I'm going to hire you for a job, dude. I got your number. I know you called in here from the hotline. I'm hire you for a job somewhere. I'm sure I got a friend down there who could use some pressure washing. So I'm going to put another job on your calendar over there, my boy. Yeah, I appreciate. Look, man, thanks for trying it out. I think it's something. It's like, you know, it's that next step of how do I become my own boss? How do I work for me, you know, how am I in control of what I do? And the pressure wall is just the most simple little thing, but people don't want to go out and deal with it, you know? I remember when I first moved to Los Angeles, I put up flyers. I said, I'll come. I'll clean your refrigerator. Clean your refrigerator. People don't want to clean their refrigerators. You know what I'm saying? You think about it. You clean your whole house. That bitch is fucking weird in there. And there's some weird things on the wall.

There's some damn mustard here. Something sweated on the fucking glass or plastic in there, you know? I remember doing that, man, putting up flyers. I get called, people come clean my refrigerator. Some lady, I went over to her house and she kept showing me her damn. Her damn produce drawer. You feel me? She was showing that right over there off a damn Barrington brother out in Los Angeles. But amen, brother. Thank you for trying. I'm going to hit you up. I'm going to email myself right now so I don't forget. I'm going to hit you up and hire you for a gig over there. But I appreciate that, man. And congrats for you. Just. It's a little things where you start to take control of your own life or just trying to, like, okay, well, how do I be a boss on myself? You start to learn about yourself. Some of it's kind of fascinating, I think, too, to be brave enough to do that. Let's take another call that hit here.

Just calling again from Michigan. Just wanted to let you know, I passed over the month mark yesterday, and I'm over a month sober now.

Let's go. My dog, man. That's so cool, dude. Wow. Wow, man. Thank you for sharing that with me, bro. Hell, yeah. That's the best thing about the program, dude, is when somebody gets a month or gets a year, and you just, you know, that you, like, you've been there so you can feel that excitement so much, you know, just that feeling that something new is possible. That feeling that something new is possible. That's the feeling, man. That was the feeling I would get when I was stuck in, like, addiction or stuck in, like, mourning over, like, a relationship or something. And you finally get that day, that one day where you feel like something new is possible, man. Thank you for sharing, man. Sorry to, you know, I'm almost kind of stealing your joy here, but. Yeah, it just makes me feel so good, man, you know? Because to be a month away from the pain you were in, that's what makes me feel like, you know, it's just so important, man. It's like to be a month away from that pain you were in, you know? And I'm not trying to read your life or anything.

I don't know, you might have been fine, but just so many times you see guys and you can feel that just like, that hope in them that, like, I'm a month away from the pain that I was in. And I think maybe I just even think about it for me. But it's something that a lot of us can relate to in program, dog. And I'm so proud of you, bro. Freaking Latians, boy. I will eat some Mars, dog. You feel me? Better be a woman. What's up?

And it's actually quite great. Everything's kind of shaping up. I've found God.

Yeah, boy. The Lord will show up, boy, when you put it together. I will say this about the Lord. Once you do your shit, he kind of come around, brain, I'm saying. So he sometimes when you ain't doing your part, he, you know, the lord kind of wait you for you to start a little for he show up. I ain't judging him, but that's what the lord kind of do, bro.

I got a whole new meaning in my life, man, and I'm doing it for me, man. I just wanted to let you know that you're an absolute inspiration to me and I many others, and keep doing what you're doing.

Oh, I'm just a retarded guy. No offense. If anybody's retarded, man, I just am just a human being. And you are, too, man. And we're just trying to be, you know. You know? And I know it's weird to connect with fucking radio or whatever, but I think we're so, like. I don't know. We're starved for connection, I think. I don't know. Maybe I am. Who knows? But I'm just proud of you, man. I really am. And I can hear in your voice, bro, that you're proud of you. And I think that's what I think really makes me feel something, you know? Just hearing somebody be proud of themselves just at a cellular level, to hear somebody, man, I'm proud of my. You know, you don't even have to say the words, but we can feel it, so that's great, man. Amen, brother. God bless that. What else do we have? Let's hear one more about the first time somebody touched your genitalia. Let's hear it, because it's such a crazy time.

Hey, Theo. My name is Holden. I'm. I live in New Brunswick, Canada.

Holden. Thank you for calling, brother.

Talking about my first time someone touched my genitalia. This is back in high school. I was at a party. You know, we drinking, and this is the first time I'm kind of drinking, too. So I obviously don't know the consequences, what that does to your genitalia.

Oh, you don't know the consequences, what drinking does to your genitalia. Understood. Onward.

See, this pretty girl and I strike up a conversation, and one thing leads to another, and we're in the bathroom, but my little Peter decides not to work, and I'm embarrassed. I'm like, this never happens.

Oh, yeah. Every now and then, your penis will file for unemployment. Onward.

It never happened. Never before. She's like, oh, it's okay. It's okay. We get out. Everything's fine, go to school the next day, my new nickname, baby Dick. And that situation kind of sucked. But we're past it now.

Yeah, we're past it. But you just told everybody about it. Um. But, yeah. That's tough, dude. The. I remember when I was a kid, if a girl even tried to touch my wiener, I would just say, my wiener's super long. I just kept. I would repeat that over and over again, almost, to try to trick him. Like, my wiener's super long. My wiener's super long. My wiener's super long. My wiener's super long. And they would touch it. I think they're, like, one girl, I remember her pulling it. Like, is there more of it. It just doesn't seem. It doesn't seem like there's that much more of it. And so I think, yeah, there's a little bit of reverse psychology there when it comes to somebody touching your wiener, you know? But it is what it is, man. But thank you for sharing that with us, dude. And just. Yeah, there's. It just. It's such a time in your life. All right, let's get finished. This episode, I want to say thank you to everybody that came out in Idaho and Utah, everybody that came out in England and Ireland, everybody that's come out everywhere. I think one of the disappointing parts about not doing a lot of solo episodes is not being able to thank everybody for the different shows and different weekends.

And, man, I even did a show in New Orleans, and I don't even know when I was on stage, if I thanked the people that were from my hometown for coming, you know, some of it's nothing purposeful. You just get. You're just going. I mean, you just. Sometimes you just don't know what's going on. You're just trying to keep your head above your shoulders, you know? But I just want to say thank you guys for bearing with me, and I'm trying to focus. The second half of this year, I want to start some type of a foundation or something and start to create ways to give back to people or groups or something. I don't know what it is yet, and I know we've talked about it for a while, but I just feel it on my heart all the time, you know? And I know we all feel that. I have so many people that reach out, and I just want to help people. I just want to, you know? And so, yeah, I don't know how to start putting that together, what it is. And some of it, I think I'm just gonna pray about, you know, and see what God shares with me.

But, yeah, just thank you guys for just giving me just a lot, just something to do, you know? Thank you for being a part of my life and let me be a part of yours. I mean that.

Hi, Theo is David fro land from Indiana.

What's up, David? Nice to hear you call brother young fella here, obviously, it sounds like, or a man with a very young vocal box homeward.

My whole family is a big fan of you. They listen to you all the time.

I am.

Personally, I think you're one of the funniest guys on the planet and keep doing what you do, man. God bless, and don't ever let anyone bring you down. Okay.

Bye bye. See you. I love you, gang.

Man.

I appreciate that. You know, it's kind of funny. It's almost like. It's like a kid, like me calling from the past or something, you know? I wonder if that. I mean, I believe that's a real person, and obviously it's not me calling from the past, but I think it's interesting how voices come in to your life, or. And it could just as well be you calling from the past. Imagine if little you could call from the past and say, hey, man, we love you, and don't let anything bring you down, man. How cool would that be? And maybe sometimes, even as humans, as adults, we can sit there and we can take that call. You know, if I were to just sit there and kind of lay by myself in my bed or something may sound crazy to some people, and that's fine. Or sit by myself in my car and just almost visualize, you know, that it's a young me calling. Let me play it again for myself here.

David Froilan from Indiana.

Okay, let's not. Let's not play his name, because that makes it not me, but let's play the rest of it.

My whole family is a big fan of you. They listen to you all the time.

I am.

Personally, I think you're one of the funniest guys on the planet. And just keep doing what you do, man. God bless, and don't ever let anyone bring you down. Okay.

Just a little thought. It's just kind of funny, you know? If I could sit there and think, if a young me called Manda, what would he say to the future, you know? What would he really say? I don't know. All right, let's take one more call that came in, man.

Hey, Theo, this is your fan and supporter, Tommy Gill from Roanoke, Virginia.

Tommy boy. What's going on? Cat daddy?

I just want to tell you, bro, you came back here this past October and killed it. Mandy, I had a really good time at your show, man. I had a blast, dude. And I rocked that rat king t shirt everywhere I go, and people always ask me about it, and I tell them, look you up, man.

Thank you, dude. I appreciate that, man. My brother has a rat king t shirt that he wears sometimes, and it's like. It makes my day when he wears it, you know? You know, I know he wears it cause he's proud of me, but it just. I don't know. There's just something about it makes me feel good. Anyway, that feels. Seemed a little bit weird but thank you, dude, for. For sharing. Thanks for coming out to Roanoke. Did. I felt like that was a tough show, kind of, to be honest with you. But I appreciate you coming out. Onward.

I just want to show you support, man. I just hit a alcoholics anonymous.

I got a month shift today.

It's not the first time, but I did do that today, so I'm feeling pretty good about it, man. And I just wanted to share with another person in recovery and someone who understands because it's a little lonely out here, bud.

Yeah. Tell me why. That's awesome, dude. I know we had another call a minute ago about it, but that's awesome, man. There's just something about it, bro. There's something about it. And thank you so much for calling and sharing that with me, man. I'm sorry it took me a while to get to this call, but. Yeah, man, there's just something about it. 30 days off of anything, bro. 30 days off looking at your hands. See if you could do that. People can't do 30 days off of anything, so to do 30 days off of something, man, it's just so powerful, and it's because it's you saying, hey, I want to have a say in how I behave, you know? And there's no judgment against people that don't do it. It's just because some people don't need to do it. They're fine. They're bathing fine. But fucking guys like us, tommy, are. The girls will be here soon. You know what I'm saying, brother? That girls are never coming. Tommy. Oh, man. Dude, I'm so happy for you. I really am. Just like, it makes me. It feels like my heart just comes to the top of my fucking body and smiles or something, you know?

Onward.

Yeah, man. I hope you're doing well, man. You know, we all got problems, but I think our problems are a little more manageable when we're not drinking and we're not trying to suppress our feelings, and we can clearly think about it.

Listen to that. You hear that? You hear what that is right there, guys? That's a young man who has a little bit of clarity, and he's able to see his. His life a little bit more, as when you're, like, viewing something. Like looking out of a window, as opposed to viewing it where you are looking out of a drain. And I'm not judging. I don't know what your life was like before telling me, but I just think it's, like, for all of us, you're not looking from the complete bottom up anymore. You're looking out of a window or, you know, a third story window, just something. Get a little bit of a view, and you can realize that everything's okay, that you have a chance, man. I love you, bro. I appreciate you making that call. Just filling us in, dude, because. Yeah, it's moments like this, man, that make other people think that they can keep going. And me, too, you know, it makes us all think that we can keep going, you know? Cause I believe that God picked us to live out here on this, in this life, and I think that that means something, and I don't know what it means yet, and that's okay.

But there are moments when I connect with other people. Like in little moments that I almost feel like I find the meaning of what it means to be alive, you know? It feels like I get a little closer to it every time I make an important connection with somebody or have a moment with somebody. Not trying to glorify myself or anything, but just every time there's a moment where I see two people connect, it could be somebody waiting at the airport, you know, sometimes you get to some airports and you see somebody waiting for their loved one to get home from military. Sometimes they've been in service. And you'll see somebody waiting there with flowers, or you'll see a guy waiting for flowers for a girl that he cares about. You don't see it that much anymore, but when you see it, there's, like, a moment like that, you know? Or if somebody's walking with their kid and the kid looks at you, you know, and you smile or wave at the. You know. And you're not a pedo or something. You're a regular guy just happy to wave at a child. You're like, oh, that mean it.

Just. There's little glories like that, little moments like that in life that make you feel like, okay, maybe I'm on the right path here. Anyway, sorry to get in all kinds of shit today, but what do you. What do you expect, dude? I'm a fucking WNBA game goer. I'll admit it, dad. Um, but, yeah, I'm just. Thank you. Thank you guys for being a part of my life. We're gonna go out on this show the way that we come into it, baby, because we didn't do it right there on the way in, but we're gonna go out right on the way. Yeah, baby girl, let me slurp that titty. Sorry the devil said that, but he used me to do it. I love you guys, man. Be good to yourselves. You know how it is, baby. Bishop Gundog the way we do, son. I'm just setting on your face front porch wondering how could I be so far from my home? Gang, gang, baby. And my mind is somewhere else but when I find it, I'll patch up where it's been blown now I'm just floating on the breeze and I feel I'm falling like these leaves I must be cornerstone when I reach that mind I'll share this piece of mine I found I can feel it in my bones love you guys, man.

For me to set that parking break let my cell phone wild shine that light on me I sit and tell you my story. You guys be good to yourselves, baby. Praise God, man. I love y'all and I'll see you guys soon. And thank you for being a part of my life, as always. The hotline 985-664-9503 Baby. Gang, gang almost.