We have some new new tour dates to announce. BloominGTon, Indiana on November 13, the Indiana University Auditorium, Columbus, Ohio November 14 at the Schottenstein Center, Champaign, Illinois up there on November 15 at the State Farm center and Grand Rapids, Michigan on November 16 at the Van Andellen arena. Get your tickets early starting Thursday, September 5 at 10:00 a.m. local time with pre sale code Rat King General on sale starts Friday, September 6 at 10:00 a.m. local time. We also have shows in Bend, Oregon, Spokane, Portland, Oregon, Vancouver in the Canada, Oklahoma City, North Little Rock, Springfield and Kansas City, Missouri, Sioux Falls, South Dakota, La Crosse, Green Bay, Moline, Colorado Springs, Casper, Billings, Missoula, Lafayette and Beaumont, Texas. Get all your tickets@theovon.com t o u r. Make sure to buy through that link so you aren't visiting a secondary site. And thank you so much for all of your love and support. Looking forward to seeing you there. We've got new merch. Check out the new return of the rat tie dye tees in green and purple. We also have the be good to yourself collection, gang gang hoodies and much more. Baby, I'm upstairs@theovonstore.com. today's guest is a musician, artiste, producer, actor.

He's done it all. He has a new album coming out called f 1 trillion. Actually, it's out now. You can go enjoy it. It's him and some of my favorite artists. I saw him perform at the grand Ole Opry last night and it was magnificent. I'm so thankful for the energy that he's given to the world to bring us together. Really. Today's guest is Mister post Malone.

Shine that light on me I'll sit and tell you my story shine on me and I will find a song.

I've been singing.

Little wine, little wine is good. It's good for the heart. Doctors say pregnant ladies can drink it.

Can they really?

Yeah.

But have you seen the babies?

They're pretty fucking awesome.

Whenever they come out, I'll just say.

This, dude, they shred like, I've been fucking drinking before I was born.

Yeah, a lot of them have real pale skin and their gingers, which are good citizens of the society. And they wear North Carolina jersey, so they fucking go hard, bro.

Depends on what wine it is. If you drink like a nice bordeaux, as opposed to like Franzia, which I love. Fucking Franzia. Little bag of wine. Yeah, put in the saddle bag. Put in.

Well, Franzia was always like that wine that every now and then your parents would have a party or something. And then you would, like, go into the kitchen late to get a little snack or a little, like, square of cheese or cracker somebody had left. And you'd go in there, and some lady would come just stumbling out of the Christmas tree, and she'd be like, hey, hey.

And gave it to you, fed you.

No, she'd want. She'd have friends. She'd have it, like, tucked under her arm or at that point, sometimes they'd have it out of the box or naked as they.

Well, you have to have it out of the box, I believe.

Oh, you do?

Yes, sir. It's like a water skin. It makes me feel like a frontiersman. Whenever they have those, like, fucking. What. What shape are those? Like, a kidney shape. Deal. You know, water kidney.

Oh, yeah, brick. Yeah, it is. It has a very. At that point, it gets a, like, a camelback vibe.

It's like a fucking bagpipe.

Yeah.

I'm not surprised if some of those bagpipe players aren't just. Well, you can actually hear a bagpipe.

It's the blow out, and the franz is on the way in.

You think you might bring two bagpipes? One is Franzia.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah. You could get. Put it in a camel bag. It's genius. It makes so much sense.

Yeah.

I had a bag of wine in my bed, under my pillow. All of. For all of school. I don't know if I should say this.

What school was it at school.

That's at school. And my parents never found it.

No way.

Yeah, because it's kind of like. I told him I bought, like, a.

Waterbed pillow, and you could just lean over and just.

It's like sucking on Romulus or mother Rome's teat.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like sucking on Mother Rome's teeth, man.

Nothing like it. There's nothing like it. That's them.

There's nothing I can do. Good. Is everybody in there okay? Yeah. Okay, cool. Thank you so much.

You got, like, a big lightsaber that hit that.

That thing that, like. It's like. You hit it, and, like, somebody's whoop bracelet goes off in the distance or whatever. You know what I'm talking about? It's like that vapor. You hit it, and somebody's whoop bracelet is like, I'm fat, or whatever.

It's a whoop bracelet.

A whoop bracelet is like, bring it up. A whoop bracelet. It's like a bracelet that tells you you're sleeping well. It monitors your heartbeat, and then there's, like, a little plug or something maybe I think allegedly, you can put into your side or something to monitor your sugar, and it'll send the information to it so it can tell if you're dreaming or if you like, if you. If you're. You know, you've never met. Your father can tell you everything.

Dude, don't they have them on apple watches? I think they have the find your dad app on the Apple Watch.

Oh, yeah. Well, yeah. Then they just. Somebody didn't trademark it then, because a lot of people are doing it because sometimes it'll sound the whoop bracelet. It'll say, whoop, there he is. And he'll play that song, you know, for your dad. Yeah, like, if you get close enough to him.

Yeah, exactly. It gets louder when the closer. There he is.

And that's showing my age post. Good to see you.

Thanks for having me.

Yeah, man. Congratulations. I saw you at the Grand Ole Opry last night.

Thank you, sir. Thank you for coming. Thank you.

Was it your first time there?

Yes, sir, that was my first time. And I remember I laid down after I got home last night and I was like, was Theo Vaughn there? Cuz I'm 85% sure I said hi, but I didn't know if I was just dreaming. But lo and behold, you were there.

Yeah. And you said, hey, man, it was nice. Well, I imagine it was such a tough place to be. I mean, there were so many stars in the building. And that was your first time performing there?

Yes, sir. Terrifying. Terrifying.

Yeah, because it's like going to, like, the Mount Everest of performance of live venues.

Yes, sir. Yeah, it's terrifying. It's. Yeah.

And you brought out John Michael Montgomery, Laney Wilson, Brad Paisley came out and played three or four songs with you. You brought out Warren Treaty. Yep. You brought out Warren treaty. And who else?

Those dudes are handsome.

Oh, Vince Gill.

Vince Gill.

So cool.

It's so cool, man. I'm just like. I'm absolutely floored. I can't even begin.

The crowd was so amped, man.

You know, I never know what to expect. But it was. Someone said that there were two tickets sold for, like, 22 grand apiece. What? Which is awesome. That's insane.

Oh, somebody.

Someone is so disappointed. Well, no, they got to see Laney.

And Vince, and somebody else is buying their wife a set of supreme tits or hip replacements.

You could have got two. Two tickets, 44 grand. Think of the boobs. Could've got.

Pull that up. What kind of breasts can you get at 44 grand? And I have a blocker on this computer because I used to have a pornography issue. But it's, um. So I don't know if we. If we can pull that up, see what they allow. How much breast can you get for? Forty four k.

Forty four k? Just like that? Yeah, exactly.

There's gonna be some trash. 44.

44 large. I'm forty four k. Oh.

Chest. 44 large. Bro, that was good. That was really good.

What's 44k size breast?

Yeah, let's see that. And just tell me. Tell me to look away if it gets too crazy.

This is science.

I'm five six and 245 pounds. I've always had a severe back and neck problems because of them in quotations. And they're talking about them. Okay. Ever since. And look, I don't want to use pronouns, but we're talking about us. Theme. Short titties.

Yeah, exactly. That's mine. Yeah.

Ever since I was in high school.

Those are K's.

Oh, wow. Those are double k. What's the biggest size? Ever since I was in high school, I've been medicated. I don't think you need to be. Okay. That's an excuse to use drugs.

That's right. My a cups drive me nuts. I need something. Whoa.

Oh, my God, bro. That ain't the San Andreas fault, dog.

That is amazing. Wow.

What if someone fell in there? Oh, the best. The funnest thing to do be there would be order one of those. Like, you know, you go to a restaurant and they put the little shots of different tequila.

Sure.

And you just put them right in.

Do a whole flight.

Yeah. Yeah. You do a whole fight, which you guys can't see it. Oh, wow. These are.

She's killing it.

Oh, she's killing some.

They're natural. You can tell.

Oh, those are. Yeah, you couldn't do that. I mean, one of them looked like it washed up on the edge of the ocean.

I like this asymmetric look. I think that's the dress.

No, I think obviously all women are beautiful. And this. But this is a lot of breasts. What we're saying here.

What we're saying here, it's not like an analyst. What we're seeing here is a lot of breasts. This is amazing.

Now, this is something else. Now that is a lot of breasts for someone. How would you could even see your kid if you're feeding? You're like, is he done?

Good hugs. Best hugs. That's. That's a wholesome response. Yeah. She gives great hugs. I can't believe I've never googled this before.

Yeah, I didn't know that either. That's forty four k. Double K. Forty four k. That's the breast size you get. So I think we put in 44,000.

Wait, you get that for 44k?

No, that's L M and Ndez. She's in the ends.

Okay.

Okay. So I think we put in 44k as the money, and it took the computer. Took it as a breast size 44.

Sure. I didn't know they went to k's.

Me neither.

And this. She's in the ends.

Yeah.

Lmn.

Yeah, that's. I mean, she's got more k's than Joe Musgrove during a good game, brother. She's a lot. Anyway, nice.

It's been five minutes. Yeah. We went from the Opry to boobs.

But it is nice to look at something. And also, it's not pornography.

Yes, sir. No, it's science. It's strictly science. It's just like, my feet pick stuff. Like, just science.

Have you ever had an. You didn't have an account on there? What, on feet finder? One of those?

No, but I was highly rated.

Oh, really?

I was like. I came in, like, a four. Four eight.

People put you on there?

Yeah.

Wow, you have good feet.

That's what I hear. Yeah. Boy. Well, I don't know about this one. Don't. Wikifeet men. What does it say on Wikifeet men?

Yeah, let's go to.

Actually, it's a top one.

And I'm not gonna say that I know this, but let's go to Wikifeet men.

Yeah, I mean, that. That's the only trusted source. Yeah, go ahead, type. Type me up.

Yeah, that guy was@manfoot.org dot.

Look at this. Look at my rating.

Let me see.

I got a four nine. I'm like, four nine right now. Is that what that says? Dude, I'm coming in.

Are there any pics of the actual hoofs, though?

Yeah, they're in these.

Okay.

Check these out. Look at all the data. Find his data.

Okay. Oh, where's a hoof? Oh, so you really are a barefoot little soldier.

I love it. It's the best. People call it earthen. I just caught.

Postman gives you his dirty sock and draws you a tattoo. Oh, yeah.

Pov. And then you got loke in the background.

Making sure this is okay. Yeah. This is coaching your bodyguards in background.

Like, why am I smelling it?

Yeah.

What goes on at these shows?

That's the kind of behavior you got up that you gotta offer off to people.

Absolutely.

When you do your live shows, do you have a big ensemble, like, what goes on, what goes into your live shows, because everybody kind of has different stuff, you know?

Yes, sir. Yeah. You know, now we, we started doing like a band a couple years ago as opposed to just me, but now we have, now we brought cheese out. Play steel.

Oh, Chandler.

Yeah.

From earnest band. Yeah.

Earn is so sweet. And so is cheese. But earn, you know, he's played with earn forever. Yeah, he was just like, go, go, you know? And, um.

Yeah, it was the other day. They were so excited.

Sweet thing.

Both of them were so excited that he was going to play with you.

I was just like blown away, like, because cheese is. He's 21 years old, you know what I mean?

And he's beautiful to me.

Stud. Absolutely.

I mean, and also, if all the men died or something, he would immediately.

He become number one. Look at that one right there.

He'd be referred to as a woman. Oh, God. I mean, it's like, God, if I didn't love these women so much, what a handsome. I would just run over there and meet that guy. But I love women, so. But, yeah, no, that's amazing, dude. Chandler Walters.

Chandler Walters.

Yeah.

Cheese. Old cheese.

Look at going out with you. And he's got a great energy, man.

He's just the sweetest guy.

He's a songwriter, so I think he just had his first number one recently.

That's cheesy. Yes, he did. With a me.

That was a me.

Why'd I do Mario?

It was with you.

Yeah. And Morgane.

Oh, with, uh, I had some help. Yeah, no, I didn't even know that. Yeah, cuz at breakfast the other day, he said, or Ernest said, yeah, he just got his first number one and I was like, and I don't know if we went into what it was. Dude, that's awesome.

Well, yeah, cuz he wrote and played some steel on it. And he's just a killer. He's, he's like the best dude ever. And I couldn't wish better things on him. Yeah, he's just an absolute stud.

And did you lose a member? How does it even work that you bring another member in?

Yes, sir. Yeah, so we had a band and they were more rockin. You know what I mean? We had an awesome strength. We had awesome members all around, but we had said that, you know, we want, like, you know, fiddle playing and like, guys on the b three and all that stuff. And that was, it was tough. And, you know, it's awesome now. Like, we're still gonna jam with that band whenever we do. Like, I want to do a whole nother Nirvana deal. Like, do another Nirvana livestream and shit and do a bunch of cool shit.

You mean, like, play nirvana?

Yeah, like the one we did in Covid, where we did all the Nirvana covers. It was so much fun.

Didn't see it.

So I want to bring. It's. People said it was good. I can't speak, I think, you know, you watch shit back and you're like, oh, I could have done way better. But people said it was good. You know, Dave said it was great. Courtney and Crist, and it was awesome. It was a lot of fun. If you're drunk or if you're just hanging out one of these nights, anyone out there, you know, give it a watch if you.

Yeah. Wow. That's incredible. Yeah. So I guess if you. With, um. If you want to get more country at a country tuned artists.

Yes, sir. Yeah, the steel. You know, steel. And, like, there's a different way.

Mandolin. Do any of that in it.

Uh, so Lily, she plays the fiddle. She kind of does, like, these plucky things, which is kind of mandolin esque, but no mando. I love the mando. Like, watch, like, band coming here and doing, like, band days where the. All the session guys come in and just kill it. We got Craig playing the bass. He played bass on the whole album. He came out on tour. He's coming out on tour. Nice. So that'll be awesome.

That's so great, bro. Yeah. Last night was amazing, man. I almost felt bad. You had to almost, because there's so many stars in the building, and you have to kind of. Oh.

Craig Young. Yes, sir.

Oh, it's beautiful. Bass player of the year.

Bass player of the year.

Bass player of the year. He was nominated for an ACM last year for bass player of the year. That's amazing.

Killer.

There's so many great musicians here in Nashville, you don't even realize it. You know, you're walking on the street, and you're just like. Somebody's incredible. Damn.

Anywhere you go, there is so much talent here in every crack and crevice, and it's insane. I can't, like, walking down the street.

Oh, and you'll fall. You'll hurt, you'll fall over. You'll sprain your ankle or something, and somebody will pull out a violin and write a song about you dying right there.

And you're like, it's never happened to.

Me, but I'm just saying, it's so musical here. Anything happens, you kiss your girlfriend on the cheek. Some guy pops up and he's like, that's a song.

That's a song. That's the deal. It's like you fucking. You just go to losers. Yeah. And someone will say, that's why I want to hire not a writer. And I think this is a way we could really.

Let's hear about this.

Just get an old guy. Hire an old guy. You don't got to pay him as a songwriter. He just knows all the one liners.

And, like, he records what's going on.

Everything. He says, no, you just ask him a question. He'll say something. And you're like, oh, that's a song.

Oh, I see.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Someone wise, like a Gandalf figure.

Yeah, like, that wouldn't sit piss. Like, old guys always say something that wouldn't sit piss.

Is that a thing I've heard?

I mean, old people always say something, you know, like, that dog wouldn't sip pissed. Like, what is that? What?

Yeah, but that's a song. That's when we just go get a little hammered at losers and just talk. And that's how songs come about. You know? Someone will say something so dumb, but the melody was sick. And you're like, let's run with that. Like, just change that word change from sit piss to shit piss. And then all of a sudden it's a hit. You know what I mean?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

I know how hits work, brother. That's amazing, man. Yeah. And Laney Wilson. Yeah, I think that was the strange thing. It was like all these artists got up there and it was so fast. It was like John Michael Montgomery, Laney Wilson, Brad Paisley, Vince Gill. And then you played. I had some help by myself. And then. Oh, your last song, you played us Sunflower by yourself, too. Yeah, but, yeah, dude, it was great. There was all types of people in the audience. I was special.

It was so. I like. It's electrifying. It's so crazy standing in that circle. Like, it's just. I'm so honored. I got only. I'm blown away. I can't even believe it that they let me in. I can't believe they let me in the building.

Yeah.

You know?

Oh, definitely, dude. I mean, yeah, because you got a unique look, you know? I mean. Oh, yeah, yeah. Look like a Christmas ornament that jelly roll would have, you know.

Did I tell you? I didn't tell you.

And that's. I say that in the most loving way.

Absolutely. I love it. I love it. I was driving to the stadium and some dude was like, jelly roll. I had the window open. I was like, what? Have you met jelly? Oh, yeah, he's the best in the fucking.

Oh, he's the sweetest.

He's the best.

And he has so many feelings in him, dude, my favorite is when jelly roll wins an award. He gets up there and he's like, I want to say to everybody right now, there's somebody out there who's got no arms and no legs, living under a bridge. And I want to tell you, in two short months, you can be winning a seat and everybody's just balling.

He'd be a great wwe.

Oh, he just. Oh, he would. Oh, he just did wwe.

No, he did not.

Yes, he did. Pull it up.

Oh, my God.

Jelly roll on him, brother. He put the double E Claire on somebody. That was his finishing move, I think the double E Claire, or I think it was like the dirty double E Claire. Put something on somebody. He put the fucking crispy bear claw on somebody, I think.

Yeah, finally he's got Randy Orton.

Just pull up a video, if you can, of jelly roll in the WWE.

Oh, my God.

Wrestling defeat.

Dirty dom in the judgment day.

Oh, he'll put him in the dirty aquarium.

Randy Orton, as a kid, I never got, but now I'm older and I'm like, he's so cool, man.

Oh, he's just ADHd if it made a living. There's Jelly right there.

What? Yeah.

Look at the crowd going crazy, boy.

Damn good, that would. That's a good push.

Jelly put it on him. Boy, he'll put him in that crispy wheelchair. Jelly poor.

Oh, he's got a nice mullet to that guy.

Uh oh. Jelly rolling Orton. All right, moving forward.

I like that because it gets good. He get in the ring?

Yeah. Oh, that's the Narcan yam, I think. Jelly roll fucking. Oh, I thought he hit the guy. There was no part with the heat.

That's the double e clear.

Go to the. Oh, that's jelly and MGK right there.

Look at that. He's got the steel chair. No shit.

There he is. It's a lot of standing around waiting once you look at this. Oh, there's a Miz.

No. Oh.

Oh. Jelly hit him with the never floss freaking.

That was a. That's a fantasy of mine with a dirty.

Really?

Jelly roll.

That's a fantasy to hit by a chair. By jelly roll.

Yes.

Look at this. This is where he puts him right here.

No way.

He put him in the fucking crispy, yo. He put him in that glue close blender homie. Fucking crisp that, baby.

You got a lot of finisher names. What's your finisher called?

He hit, he put him in that fucking carb walrus, baby. Jelly don't play, dude. Where's jelly from, dude? Ben.

Oh, shit. Yo, that's fire Antioch, baby. Yep.

He hit him with that fucking Antioch injection right there. That antioch insulin, baby annihilator.

That's fire.

That's awesome.

What's your finisher?

My finisher probably be the, uh, I would hold somebody down and cry directly into the rods, to be honest.

That's pretty good.

It would be very primordial. I think it would be very, like, maybe there would be ancient poets that would enjoy it. Everybody else would be like, boo, let's go. Or I'll just cry in the mouth till they drown.

That would be, that's fire. That's hard. That's hard.

What about you, man? What do you think?

I don't know. Well, yours is fucking awesome.

I don't mind. I don't know if it was awesome, bro.

Well, I've always had a concept for a wrestler that doesn't touch anybody. He's just telepathic. So I think my move would be like, grab somebody by the neck from across the ring. Yeah. And then a string pulls them up. Exactly. Exactly. See, but there's no wrestler that does that, I don't think. I think that exactly. Well, they put me in the game.

In the WWE game?

Yes, sir.

No way.

Do you have a code? I think I'm like $5. I don't know how much I am. I'm worth about $5.

No, dude, I heard that. Um, look at this stud, dude. Burton Ernie's $11, dude, so that seems a little, you can bern Ernie. Shania Twain is $7.

So where you get it? I'm just saying Shania train would be a killer.

That's true.

Yeah.

Now they, oh, that's you right there. Can we see it again?

Yeah, dude, they put me up in the deal. Look at that. Look at him. He's handsome.

Oh, he's very handsome, dude.

Yeah, they, it was fun. They made me buff my overall. 69.

That's your overall?

Yes, sir. All my stats are maxed out, but my overall still says 69.

Fair. Fair.

Yeah, it's pretty cool.

I love that. Were you a ladies man when you were young or not?

Absolutely not.

Really?

No, absolutely not.

Do you remember, like, the first time you felt like a girl was, like, interested in you?

No. Yeah. I was already at, like, a million bucks, and I was like, oh, no shit. This is how this works.

Did you really feel that?

Nah. Yeah, man. I remember, like, I got stood up at homecoming. Like, there's all my crushes. Like, you know, it never worked out for me, really. But I think that worked out for me in the long run.

Right.

You know, because you could be a kid trying to get some cooch. But I was in my room playing the gatoch.

Like, I'll show. Yes.

I'll get you one of these days.

I'll show you.

And then the money came, and it was awesome.

Yeah. You know, that is funny. It is kind of funny. Some of that is how it works. It's like, yeah, if you don't feel some ambiance from women, or if you don't feel, like, seen maybe in the world or something, then you. You're like, well, I have to make myself be seen more, you know?

Sure.

So you create more, and that comes.

I guess, like, it's kind of a weird way of, like, oh, I want to express myself more because I become more introverted learning how to do that. You know what I mean?

Like, so tell me a little bit more. I'm hearing you, but tell me more.

So, like, I wanted to make music, right? But the only way to make music is, like, to do it. And so I just sat in my room with audacity and played the guitar and wrote songs. And it's like, I want people to hear my music. But the way I do that is learn as much as I can by myself in my room, and then present. Exactly. You know what I mean? It's an interesting thing, like taking the time to learn a skill or become an outlier, I guess. Well, you probably got 10,000 hours behind it, but, you know, it's an interesting thing.

Yeah. I think that's something that part of people don't, maybe. I don't know if they don't realize it, but I. Yeah, there's a lot that goes into being good at something.

Yes, sir.

You know?

Or you could just be naturally talented.

Right?

Which. Fuck those dudes.

Yeah.

You know?

Oh, dude. If I saw six of those dudes, dude, I'd fucking beat their.

Beat them all.

I'd beat all six of them. That's what I.

What if they're naturally talented at fighting?

Oh, God, I can be a.

Even worse. Even worse.

I call the cops, dude. And the cops would never come, but still I would have called them. You know what I'm saying? But I'll never say, hey, I'm gonna call the cops. Cause that would end up on TikTok, right?

Theo von calls cops on six naturally gifted fighters.

So I would just be like, hey, hold on, let me check in with a friend of mine. I think they're not feeling well today. So I would pretend, Loki. I'd be like, help, cops, cops, cops.

All right, I'm ready to go.

Cause you can text 911.

Can you 100%. Can you send them feedbacks? I hate going back to this.

I hate doing.

I hate going back to it. But it's just where the gut. This is where my mind goes.

Oh, dude, you can text him. Dude, you can text 911. I was a. I was at the Dustin Poirier Max Holloway fight, and I remember texting 911. I'd never done it before.

I was like, gonna get beat up.

Oh. I said, dear God, two men are beating the shit out of each other in Atlanta.

That's a waste of resources, the ovar.

And they wrote back, I'm not even joking. What's good?

No, they did not. I swear to. No, they did not.

It said, what's good? Atl police.

Yeah, no, they did not.

Yeah, and it also. And they had a music. They put a musical gif with it and it was Andre 3000 singing something. Sorry, Miss Jackson. I think like, dear God, dude, that's not true. That's a lie. The text isn't.

They did not say what's good.

They did. Okay, that mark, what's good, slime. Okay, so they didn't say. I don't remember what they said, but they did accept the text and. But, yeah, you can text 911.

All right. I know what I'm doing tonight.

It's important to know, man.

I didn't know that. You just text 911. Yeah, that's it.

Yeah, you could text him like, hey, I need some help or something. And then I guess they probably, hopefully would have the location. I don't know if that helps or not.

Well, I guess it makes sense, right? Because if you're like, in a situation where it's almost like a blink twice if you need help type deal, you'd be like, oh, I'm gonna. Cuz you remember there was a story about a lady saying, like, she was getting abuse in her home and she was like, he was like, order a pizza or whatever. And she like, texted 911 or called it and was like, disguised the call for distress as like, ordering a pizza or something.

Like, I need. Hey, I need a medium pepperoni. I need four strong pepperonis.

Four? Yeah, I've made that call before.

Put a gun and a bayonet on each one, please.

Of the pepperoni.

If those pies have gone through boot camp, that would be great.

I carry glocks. I'd like to know. This is Glock and Spiel's pizza. Is this true? Is this. Did I make this up or no? Yeah, see, that's the story.

Let's see it. Let's see it, Benny boy. First glance quickly.

This story be a call for help. Luckily for an Ohio woman, her 911 dispatcher was listening very carefully.

Michaela Marshall has the story.

You called 911 to order a pizza?

Yeah, apartment.

This is the wrong number to call for a pizza.

No, no, no, no, you're not.

I'm getting you now.

In his 14 years of service. Wow.

This is a stud. What a stud for picking it up. I'm surprised he stayed on that long. Right? I'd like to order a pizza. Well, you know, probably get banged on, right. You know he's a stud.

Yep. I need a large pizza.

Two large beats. It's so good. It's like fucking so slick. Yeah, it's killer. But it makes sense to text 911. It does make sense now that I think about it.

And it's good for people to know, man. I think a lot of people probably don't know that. And so, yeah, I think this is a neat. This is a neat way for people to know you, dude.

It's God's word. Good job. Fuck, dude.

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I think so, yeah. I go where they tell me. Right.

International as well, probably afterwards.

Yes, sir.

Yeah.

Yeah. Tour is, is a lot of fun. It's just, you know, I got my two year old now, and I. It's hard being away from home for months. But I love playing music and seeing people sing these songs. It's so cool, man. You never know if that's like, their one thing of the year, you know? And that's why, like, I've only missed a handful of shows, and that kind of drives me nuts when artists miss shows, you know? And I know there's reasons oftentimes, but it's like, this could be their one thing of the year, and I just want to go and kick ass for people who they willing to spend their hard earned fucking money to come and see this piece of shit.

Yeah.

So I'm like, I want to bust my ass for everyone. So I'm so I'm pumped, man. I'm ready to go.

And who's going to be on the tour with you? Do you know? Will it change? What is that like?

That's a great question. Openers. Right now, we're figuring it out. You're figuring this way it goes, it's.

Is it. What's the process?

Just finding who's right, you know? And I'm terrible. I'm much. I'm a procrastinator, so, like, I wait till the last minute to do things, which was the definition of procrastinator. I didn't need to say that last part.

Some people didn't know. Some people like, damn, he's a procrastinator. What? What does that mean? He's been to.

Well, I didn't know you could do that.

Some people think, like, what do you think? Oh, he's a procrastinator. He dates men. Like, what does it mean? Yeah, no, I'm glad you sounded it out.

Yeah, I had to. Absolutely. Yeah. But every school project, it was the night before, dude. Yeah, yeah. So this is. It's like a school project kind of for me and I. And there's so many great options, and that's why I just want, you know, I. That's my excuse. There's so many great options is I just want to make a right, you know?

Yeah. And will you. Yeah. Will you change them up? Do you think you can alternate some of them?

Yeah, that's what we were kind of thinking of, is having, like, a great idea either, like, local act start, which I love. I love doing that. And then, you know, either, like, taking in, like, quadrants or quarters, you know, and have, you know, different artists who are available come out and open up. And I think that's fun, you know? And that kind of encourages people if they want to, if they love that person to come to a show, even if they don't like me, and maybe then they will, you know what I mean? It's just like, you know, I just want people to have a great time, you know, and just come out and have fun.

So it feels like that, man, I felt like that last night. Like, a lot of your energy is very, like, gratuitous. You're, like, just thanking people for coming and, you know, you feel a lot of, like, indebted almost, in a way.

Absolutely. I. There is so many no joy.

It's not like I'm not getting it.

Yes, sir.

But you can feel like, oh, this guy, he really. He feels that we're here.

Yes.

And that we've come to see him.

Yeah. That's like, for me, it's. I know there's so many, much more talented people. Like, fuck those naturally talented people that are just so awesome at everything, you know? Justin Bieber, I'm talking about.

Yeah, I'll name him right now. Justin Bieber. John Mayer.

Sure.

Ric Flair.

Okay.

Okay. Lil Debbie. Okay.

Yeah, absolutely. Yep.

That cake bitch. People call her on Reddit, and I didn't say it. And who else? Probably. Oh.

Count of three. Jesus Christ.

Oh, damn, dude. Close.

Same. Fuck.

Paddington Bear and. Well, okay, so Pattington's help.

I love all of you, by the way. I'm just fucking around.

Patting is a fictional character. Jesus isn't. We'll put him in there.

So Jesus Biebs is very much real, though.

Yeah, Biebs is.

And Rick Blair. I love both of. The. Both of you so much. But, yeah, you know, it's like people could be anywhere in the world. And it is true.

Oh, yeah.

And it is true. And they spent their time hanging with me, and that means the fucking world to me. You know what I mean?

Oh, that's what feels the toughest. Sometimes when you have a show that's kind of. You feel like maybe didn't. And sometimes it's the acoustics or sometimes it's the way that the venue shape. It's like you don't even know. That's the toughest thing sometimes.

Yeah.

You know, like, the Vin, like, you're playing in a hockey rink, you're like, well, this is not even built for this.

Right?

We're trying to make it this. We're all doing our best. And maybe you just feel like, what if they don't know that, you know? I don't know.

And that. Rehearsals, too. I didn't realize how steep it was. It's so steep going up. Like we're at, like, at the opry.

Oh.

It's just like, there's people all the way up here. And at rehearsals, I didn't even see that because that, like, wasn't lit.

My God.

But maybe it was lit and I just wasn't paying attention. Yeah, maybe you were, but I came in and out. Yeah, absolutely. Well, absolutely. That's a given. But I walked out and I was like, oh, shit. There's a lot of folks here. This is crazy.

I think it seats 5000 people.

It's so cool. It's so cool.

It was magical, man. We sat next to. There was a japanese family and I'm paraphrasing because they may or may not have been japanese, but they were near Japan or semi near.

Okay.

And they were in. They were enjoying. It was unbelievable.

Cool.

Wow. I'm at the Grand Ole Opry and I'm with a japanese family enjoying post Malone. It was awesome.

It's pretty cool. You can't write it. Yeah.

Yeah. What's your kiddo like? I don't know if I.

She's a stud.

Oh, it's a baby. It's a girl. Oh, sweet.

She's a stud. She was there last night. She was. You saw her. She's about six'four.

Oh, dang.

You just massive. She might've dunked on you. That's her thing. She loves dunking.

Really?

She's like. She's probably 2ft tall.

Oh, yeah.

She's so cool, man. Like, it changes everything. It's so bitchin.

Were you there when she was born?

I pulled her out of the coochie.

No, you did.

They let me bring my katana in.

What kind of shoes did you wear?

Close toed, obviously. Close toed.

I think that's what gotten one.

Yeah. You have to. Well, it's like science class because you're figuring this shit out. It's like whenever you had an Erlenmeyer flask or whatever, you're like, I don't fucking know. Like, what the hell's going on? Close toed shoes. No flammable clothing and hair tied back.

You know, anybody that wears open toed shoes to their child's birth is obviously, first of all, a Jimmy Buffett fan.

Well, fuck yeah. Well, that's the one exception. I think Jimmy Buffett could wear thongs to the child's birth, I think.

Well, what are you supposed to wear?

I don't know what you're supposed to wear. It makes sense to wear, like, a suit, right? It makes sense to dress up. Yeah, like, exactly.

Yeah. Living on umbilical fluid.

I like fucking. It makes sense. Also, it'd be cool to prank the out of your kid. Doesn't know anything. And just wear full camo, balaclava, everything just full, real tree or fucking multicam, anything. And she can't see you. Oh, and he just pull out. She thinks she's floating.

Yeah.

And everyone else does, too.

And then years later, there's a game show. It's a big reveal.

Exactly. Or, yeah. You wear camo your whole life.

Oh, yes. And then it's like, who is my father?

Whoop, there it is. There he is. My dad.

Or she picks Willie from Duck Dynasty. And you're like, cool.

Yeah, cool. Well, fuck, I wish Willie from. No, I don't. I love my dad so much, but I. If I had two dads, it would be Willie and my dad.

And Willie Robertson is so funny.

What a stud, man, bro.

He's one of the funniest guys.

Yeah. Inside.

Uncle Si. Love that savage.

I love that man. I forgot about that show.

A lot of people.

That show was huge.

Huge. So crazy.

Good for them.

We're doing duck calls. People were umdhe. Yeah. What's it like? I don't have any children yet. I want to have some children, I think. But I just got to get a wife and stuff, and I just been working so much. Was it hard to make the choice to have a child?

No. I've been horny for a long time. Yeah. I've always wanted to be a dad. And for a long time, I always told myself, like, when I was, like, younger and going through shit, like, you know, coming up, when I was like, you know, 2021, 22 and all that, I was like, oh, I need a kid. But that was to, like, for a selfish reason. It was to fill something that I felt like I was missing. But at one point, I was like, I want to create a fucking awesome life and create life. And whenever I realized that it wasn't for selfish reason, then I was like, let's fucking do it. And then I made a baby with my jizz. And it's fucking awesome. It's cool.

Is it?

It's so cool. Like, oh, I was saying I pulled her right out. Right out.

No way. You did.

By the head. I did. I got gloved up.

And they let you do it? There's not somebody there, is there a lifeguard or something?

Well, I don't know. My doctor was such a baller.

He was.

I don't know if it's. It's gotta be.

Would you meet him on the app or whatever?

Yeah. Well, she was. What app?

It sounds like my doctor was such.

A ball baller, like on Wikifeet, actually. So she had a 4.8 and I was like, this is good enough.

Oh, my bad, man.

But you couldn't see it because the shoe rule, the close toed. You can't wear open toed shoes. But she was like, sorry, joking too much at one time. She looked at me and she goes, scrub up. And I'm like, what? And fucking I did. And then I grabbed her head and I pulled her out.

And how. And so I'm trying to equate the, like, how hard did it feel like it to pull tough or was easy?

You got to pull hard, scary hard. Because babies are really floppy, you know. Floppy and malleable. Yeah, pure gold. One of the most malleable metals.

You can make gold out of anything I've heard.

Is that true?

I don't know. I heard that on a Joe Rogan podcast.

Is that what he said?

No, I remember you and him talking about that actually. It's so crazy that in my head.

What did I say?

I don't remember what happened. I just remember. Yeah, you guys were joking around about it.

Makes sense.

Yeah, it was perfect.

Well, I did make gold out of anything. If you call jizz anything, am I right?

And if you call your daughter gold.

That'S what I call. That's her name. Yeah. And she's like, scrub up. And pulled her out. Pulled hard. Cuz you scared, you don't want to break them.

And it's like, that's the thing. And where do you pull? Do you pull from under the arms? Do you.

Right on the head at first?

No, like one of those crazy cardinal practice. You see those guys?

Oh my God.

You seen that?

Like a fucking mortal kombat fatality. I'm like, no way you pay to get fatality by this fucking dude. And fucking encino fucking.

Have you seen brother neck magic?

I don't think I'd like to play it. Can you pull up some brother neck magic?

Some brother neck magic if you can. Real quick. There you go. Let's see. That might be it.

Crazy chiropractic adjustment. It sounds like. It sounds like a fucking mixtape from a crazy chiropractic neck pain. And check. This is fire, dude.

How there isn't um. Slide on this.

When. When does he pull her spine out? Like with his skull attached?

This lady's never gonna be able to read again.

Fuck. She's dead. I saw that do the one where.

They put the wake boarding rope up to the neck or whatever. That's a crazy one, dude. And I think they do that down in Orlando during the wakeboarding championships or whatever. Yeah. Deep y strap adjustment, bro. You've been involved in this. If your kid ends up doing this, that's going to be full circle, bro. Yeah. Get to the big pull at the end where they look at that. Yeah. Where the lady tells all her secrets right after. Sorry.

Lay your head back down. You have, like, cowboy chiropractors just rope you and fucking. And then you're like, all right, you're good. Go home. This is insane. Okay. Obviously.

So you didn't use this. Use the hands, huh?

Use my bare hands with gloves. Nitrile gloves. I think they were five, 5 mm. Okay. Okay. So we'll do our 30, no buckles.

Yeah, there you go. Get up to there.

Yeah. That most replades. Oh, my God.

Oh, there you fuck, dude. The lot more pops.

What? Why?

So when you get around, what do you guys do then? Who gets. Is your arm and is the mom awake during this?

Yes, sir, she is. She's full awake.

She's not on her phone or anything, is she?

Dude, she's on Clash of clans. Like, get this shit out of.

Sorry, man. One thing your daughter's gonna watch. It was an asshole. I need to know, have you ever found any subscriptions that you were still paying for and you didn't realize it? I had, um. I got involved with the online chili thing, and they would send you chili every month, and I moved out of that place and forgot, and they was still just sending chili to that. To the old address. Thankfully, I located that old subscription and was able to shut it down. Rocket money is how I did it. Rocket money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so that you can grow your savings with Rocket money. I can see all my subscriptions in one place, and if I see something I don't want, Rocket money can help me cancel it with a few taps, that easy. Rocket money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year. When using all of the app's features. Stop wasting money on things you don't use, like unwanted chili. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com. theo.

That's rocketmoney.com, theo. Rocketmoney.com. theo. Today's episode is brought to you by Betterhelp. If you've had trouble in your life, maybe you're having trouble associating with your family. You're having trouble associating with yourself, if you're having trouble meeting someone or if you're having trouble, things have changed. They were good. Now they're rough. Better help can help. That's true. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give better help a try. It's entirely online. It's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist, and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional cost. And I recommend that a lot of times I would have a therapist on Betterhelp or just in a therapy I found locally, and. And I'd be afraid to switch therapist. I was just afraid. I didn't want to let them down. It's not about letting them down. It's about building you up. Never skip a therapy day with Betterhelp. Visit betterhelp.com the o today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help betterhelp. And we thank betterhelp for supporting and sponsoring this podcast. Yeah, man, I. I know.

I've been to a chiropractor, and I always tell them, don't touch me. Right when I get there, that's the.

First thing you say. So you do not have consent to touch me. That's the thing. And then it's kind of like the WWE guy, the telekinetic.

Oh, yeah, that'd be your thing. You don't have consent. Well, I'll show you.

Well, you don't have to touch them. Yeah, you can just fucking like. That's kind of a thing.

Yeah.

I'm surprised no one's done it yet.

It'll happen soon, man.

Well, it's like Reiki. What do they call that stuff? Reiki.

Yeah, that energy healing. Like, if you go to Maui, people offer that.

Everybody tried it.

Have you tried, like, I'll do Reiki. I'll sell you dope. There's like.

There's just the dude by the beach. He's like, I'll sell you a bracelet, weed, and do some Reiki on you right now.

You're like. He's like, for $40, fuck the package.

Pretty large.

Yeah, 40 large, homie. You're like, I mean, for 44,000, think.

Of all the Reiki.

Yeah, it'd be a lot of Reiki. Dude, you're single with Morgan. Already went. It's. It's to the moon. When you sang that last night.

It'S a lot of words.

People loved it. How long did it take to shoot the video? Where did you guys shoot that athlete.

We shot that in a day near stagecoach. So we were doing stagecoach the. The day after, I think, and Morgan had some time and we had time and we just got together and I think the last time that flag was used was like a Joe Biden's inauguration.

No way.

That's what they were saying. The flag was huge. I never seen anything like it.

It was dope. Some of those shots, you can see the flag of the day.

Very cool.

Morgan's so funny, dude.

He's amazing.

Who wrote the song? Did you guys write it together or did you guys.

Yeah, we wrote it together. We cut another song, too. I think I did it. I think I remember doing a verse. It was one of those long nights, but it was a. That song's awesome, too.

Is it out yet or.

No, no, sir.

Okay.

I don't know if he's gonna do anything with it, but the song, I remember it being awesome also. I was having a lot of fun.

Yeah.

But, yeah, we were just all together and cheese was there and learn, and it was just killer. I love writing songs.

Yeah.

With my buddies, and that's like, you go and you look at the writers on each of these songs on the record is because it's not like there's a lot of motherfuckers on every song and because, like, I've never been here. I don't know, like, before, naturally. Before months ago? Yes, sir. Yeah, before, like six, seven months ago. Like, I've never worked here. And I didn't know it was like a nine to five kind of deal. But we would go to the studio at like, 07:00 p.m. and stay till like four in the morning, and we will all just hang out and have some beers and smoke and laugh. And that's, I think, like, like I said earlier, you know, that's just how songs get made. You're like, oh, that's a song. Let's build around it. And then someone comes in with the next line and you're like, oh, that's fucking killing. And you just keep going and it snowballs into a song.

You know, I knew during the pandemic, I remember telling people, like, hey, Morgan is the next Elvis Presley. Like, do you guys realize, like, he had a trainer and one of his trainers is now also works security with him?

Yes, sir.

And so we would go train with the guy and he and I would go out on, I think it was like, 17th or 18th street in Nashville and be doing, like, reps out there and, like, walking up hills with the weights and stuff and it was like, now he could never do that.

Oh, yeah.

But then we'd be out there just doing our reps and stuff like that. It was me, him, sometimes earn and.

Bring out a whole bunch.

Huh. But he came out rather love you. Yeah, sparingly. But he came out and I. Yeah, and I was like, I, dude. I was like. I was. I remember telling my friends, like, he's the next Elvis Presley. Do you think he's the bet that he'll be go down as like the greatest country artist of all time?

I have a little bias. I love Hank Sr. He. Hank Sr. For me, will always be my favorite. Hank and Johnny. And he's definitely the most massive. It's just unprecedented. You know what I mean? Like, and I. He has such a great heart, you know, he gets in a little trouble. He's got such a great heart, man. And I love that dude to death. And I don't think that he won't be, you know, the biggest artist of all time, maybe, you know what I mean? Like, it's the biggest trajectory. It's fucking insane. It really is insane.

Yeah. I mean, every one of his. So many of the songs. The craziest thing about Morgan, I'll be around Morgan and I'll just start singing one of his songs because it's stuck in my head. It makes you feel like a weirdo. But then you're like, oh, I can't sing that song. And you'll sing another one.

What you gotta do is change the lyrics and then tell him you wrote it and then he'll. He might use it and then.

Oh, I see what you're saying.

Yeah. And then you get songwriting credits, you know what I mean? Look at that shit, man.

Morgan Walla matches Adele and Elvis with another week at number one. And what does that mean when they say they matched? Article here in Forbes. Morgan Wallen leads the Billboard 200 charts this week with his blockbuster release one thing at a time. As the country star earns another turn at number one, his set joins an exclusive club and helps a singer match. An impressive feat that's only been managed by a handful of the biggest names in music.

It's insane. It's insane. No, it's bigger. It's bigger than fucking life. Like in Australia. Even in Australia and UK, everything. It's insane.

Yeah, I think he has his trial for that. Throwing that thing off the building or whatever.

What's that? What thing?

Yeah, we're not.

I hear there's a sign now.

Oh, that says about the chair that.

Yeah, it's like, don't even try. You're not Morgan or something. That's what I heard.

Really?

Yeah, that's what I heard.

That the sign says, don't throw anything off this building.

You're not Morgan. Verbatim is what I heard. I haven't seen it. I haven't been into Eric's bar.

I'm trying to think what I would throw off a building. Dude, you know, oh, dude, you know what? I'll throw off a building. I would throw a replica of the building off the building. So that's fire. Because if somebody's like, hey, I just got hit by that building. And then the officer would be like, what are you talking about? But yeah, that's got hit by a really small building of that building. And the officer would be like, you're going to jail. You're on drugs.

To the other officer.

Yeah, like I say, there's a random stranger walking on the street. And I throw like a replica of like a, I mean like a state capitol. I'm up there at the top, 200 stories up. I throw that bitch off, okay? And it's a replica of the building that I'm, okay. It hits somebody like, oh shit, dude, drop my fucking five guys. And they tell the police, hey, somebody just threw that building at me.

Now there's a couple things that you can't get in trouble for throwing off of a building. What if it's a brick building? Bricks?

Yeah.

Cuz you'd be like, oh, this fought going down. It's fine. It's like. Or it's just age, you know? And also bird shit. You can throw as much birds off of a building as you want. Because who's to prove, who's gonna prove it? That you did it? Who's gonna prove that you did it?

Oh, you saying I'm a bird?

Oh, you said I'm throwing bird shit on people down there. Prove it. What about the birds? Exactly.

Yeah.

What's another thing you could throw off the roof of building?

Oh, a little meteor.

Yeah, a little meteor rock. A piece of gibbous meteorite.

Yeah, whatever, man. Free Morgan. Dude, nobody got hit. Maybe free Morgan. That's all I'm saying. Dude. Dude, did you ever get to meet like Elvis Presley or anything like that?

What? Yep.

Did you really?

No, I was born 1995.

Oh, and when was Elvis?

That's a good question. Yeah.

Have you been to Graceland?

It's amazing. I jumped in the pool.

What? Why those you let me. Nuh uh. Was it after hours or something?

Was for, I think a new year's thing, and he died. 77. You're way off the. Ovon.

My bad, my bad.

What's crazy? Yeah, but, like, we did that deal. I played devil in disguise, and they let me jump in the pool.

Wow.

It was amazing. It was. I love Elvis Presley. Yeah, it was so cool.

Yeah, his Christmas stuff, man. Dude, the craziest thing about Graceland, I didn't know he's buried there.

I didn't know that either.

So we're going on the tour, and, like, this is a lamp and stuff, this rail. But she used to hug his wife and kiss his mama.

You had a cool tour guide, this guy.

He's a perverten. He said, kiss his mama 40 times in a row. He'd be like, kiss his. Like.

What was his name?

Huh?

What was his name?

I think his name was. It was like, kind of like this. It was like a redneck, sort of native american. I think his name was, like, featherbed or something. And he was like. And he was like, what? He. And people. And there's some old women that are like. And like, why is that guy's lips all wet?

What's up with this dude? Right?

And there's no manager there. You're just stuck with whoever the tour guide is, dude.

You know, he wasn't even a guy. He's just a guy. He just came.

Oh, feather bed. But then we get out the back and, like, you guys want to go smoke, you can go out there. So there's people out there, and I'm vaping, and his grave is right. I'm like, wait, he's buried here?

I did not know that.

Yeah, it blew my mind.

Yeah, it's a beautiful, beautiful place. And it's, like, crazy, like you that they say, I didn't get to go up in the room. It was late, but they say nothing's been touched in the room, in his bedroom. And, like, his slippers are still there and everything. Like that. Crazy. The museum part of it, like, where you can go in and see, like, the books he was reading and everything like that. Like, the JFK assassination book that he was reading. Like, that's the last book he was reading. Like, crazy. Yeah, it's pretty cool.

So he's kind of a conspiracy guy. Yeah. You think?

Maybe. Maybe that's the conspiracy itself. Maybe there is no conspiracy. He did like to kiss his mama.

Like, hey, we understand there's, like, a.

Tour group of four people. Like, what's up with this dude? He like, I like featherbed. He sounds cool.

Um, what was your mom like, dude, is your mom a cool lady? Because you have a step mom, right?

Yes, sir.

And do you have a real mom too?

Yes, sir.

Yeah. Cuz some people, I don't know if some people are adopted on. If you had a real mom?

Yes, sir. Yeah. Um, my mom's name's Nicole.

Oh, that's a nice name.

It's a lovely name. It's my mom's name. Stepmom's name is Jody.

Oh, it's a nice name too.

Thank you.

It's my stepmom's my mom's name. Gina.

It's a beautiful name. You know a name I like? Emmy Lou. I think that's a pretty name. No.

Yeah.

You don't like it?

No, I did if you liked it. First I was like. But then I was like, yeah, Emilu. I like it.

What name do you like for your daughter?

I feather bed Moira.

Moira's a beautiful name. That's a magic the gathering name.

Is it really?

You play magic together?

No, no, no. We play. What do we play? Sometimes gin rummy or whatever. But we never done anything. We've never gotten crazy. That one time my uncle was on weed or whatever we played. If that was about as magic. The gathering is we got. So it's more just g. Yeah.

Yeah. Just. No, not as much Ramy. Yeah, a lot of gin.

Yeah. My ex girlfriend Megan, me and her family used to play some sort of rummy.

You like the name Megan?

I do like the name Megan, actually.

It's a little aggressive.

Yeah. But I think sometimes women might need aggression, you know?

Sure.

So I think, yeah. I like Moira. Megan.

I like more. You like m stuff.

Emilie's good, though. I like.

That's m essentially.

Amy Lou seems to sound like she's gonna be the rogue agent of those three.

She sounds like a hard ass. I thought about that last night. I also like the name Llewellyn. Sounds like an elf name.

Like an elf? Like a.

From Lord of the Rings.

Okay.

Right?

Yeah.

You could imagine, like, Aragon going to meet with Llewellyn. Well, that's like no country for old man.

Maybe it loves truck stop. I think I can.

When Aragon goes to the loves Aragon at the map company is fucking. He's got to pick up some fucking sick shades. He just goes. He's got to get a t shirt just as fucking. Fucking.

He's got a teaser that says, get your motor running on it.

Yeah, he's got big peterbilt fucking goes. Fucks up some orcs. Dude, killer. I love that we were talking about moms. I don't know how that happened.

I was just curious. I didn't know if, like. Yeah, I was just. I guess I was just wondering, where do you get your influence to be? Like, I think when I was a kid, I always wanted my mom to see me, you know? And so it made me, like, wanna. I think even at the time, if I wasn't, like, I remember my mom sometimes. Like, if we had misbehaved, we'd have to go downstairs and perform for my mom so we could get out of punishment, right? And I think a lot of kids have had to do that. It wasn't like a set thing, but it was like, we try to be like, all right, we gotta do something for mom. Mom's smart. She's hardworking. Let's don't waste our time. Let's make a 122nd play. You know what I'm saying? It's like shark tank shakespeare meets reservoir dogs. We're gonna go in there and my two little sisters, like, what's happening? And I'm like, shut up. Memorize your lines and get the fuck in there, dude. And put the bra on, dude. And they're like, we're children. And I'm like, huh? Who's putting matter, dude? The rules are the rules.

And so we would go in there and we would try to make the play, and I would try to be the director and one of the actors, and it was just a nightmare, whatever. But sometimes my mom would have so much fun out of it that she would be like, okay, I'll let you watch tv for half an hour, or.

You wouldn't get in trouble. Yeah.

Like, right? We'd be able. Or sometimes she would say, you guys are the fucking. She's like, this is why don't go see shows in this area, and you guys need to go to bed, you know? But that was fair because we were already in trouble.

What was your biggest hit? You think?

We did this sort of like. It was kind of like boy meets world. Kind of like a paw patrol mashup, right?

Okay.

And it was. Some people would say, it's nothing. Whatever. We thought so much of it. We thought so much of it. And one of the animals got fleas. We had a small dalmatian that got fleas played by my sister, and she dies immediately. Right. In the first 40 seconds. And then the last 120 seconds is there's a mourning and a small wedding.

Okay? It's small. Like a small family and friends, not like nothing big, right.

It to go from death to fucking. Yeah.

Life. Well, essentially, you know, like the creation of life.

Yes. And so stuff like that. Yeah. So I think there was some things my mom appreciated about it, but, yeah, I was just wondering, like, what was your, like, did you get, like, where do you get your idea that you wanted to be seen in the world, you know? And maybe that's. Maybe that never happened to you. Maybe you're just having fun, and you're like, I'm having fun.

Well, whenever she let me out of. We had a little, like, two by two kind of room and had all these locks on it, so whenever she slid me a piece of cheese with a post it note that said, come on out, I want to hang out, I was, like, so pumped. You can't believe. You can believe how pumped I was.

I can imagine, dude. Oh, and that fucking craft, a raw.

Craft single with the post it on the front says, come out of, and I was so pumped. No. You know, I don't know. She's always loved me so much. All my parents have, and I'm so, you know, lucky to have such supportive parents. And, you know, it's awesome, too. They got me into music. Like my mom and my grandma. My grandma would be flipping out, you know, seeing me play the fucking opry. And my dad, he was a wedding dj, and he loved metal and hip hop and all that, and it's just everything together gave me the appreciation of just music in general. Like, you know, I I'm a believer that, like, you know, it doesn't. Everything doesn't need to be super pigeonholed. There's fucking beauty and love in every piece of music, and that's why you listen to fucking everything. And that's the best part about it, you know? It's just, you know, oh, I feel like fucking this today. I feel like this today. You know? And it's the best, you know, I.

Think that's the best thing about being your own dj, is you get to, like, you know, I want to play this. I want to play this, and I'm gonna play this. You know, that's what I feel like you are in a lot of ways. In some ways. I don't mean that in any weird way, but I feel like you're. You're not America's DJ, but you're like, that's cool.

That's cool.

Say that you're America's DJ. I mean, you're born the 4 July.

That's true. That's true.

How? I mean, what else are we asking.

For what's going on. I'm.

But it's like, I think people find so much joy through you, you know? Does that feel like a lot of pressure? Cuz everybody loves you, you know?

Not necessarily true.

That's true. You're right. Maybe. That's a weird question, man. I'm sorry to say it's kind of weird.

What's that? No, not at all that, dude.

But people. I don't know. I think people relate to you for some reason. And I don't even know if it's always because of music.

Yeah, it's just, dude, I think people.

Relate to somebody trying to be themselves.

Yes, sir.

And find themselves through a medium.

Yes, sir.

Whether it be music or art or dance or affection.

Yeah.

I don't know. I guess some of it is judgment. I don't mean it that way. I think it's more me trying to explore you because I think that. Yes, it's an interesting thing.

Well, no, it's just like I'm. I think people appreciate and can relate to being yourself and that's like, that's what everyone wants to do.

It's hard for us.

It is hard. It's terrible now, you know, it's like there's so many societal pressures. I don't know. And then with the. With the pickup of social media and how it just moves at a hundred miles a minute. We talked about this a little bit earlier, but it's just a hundred miles a minute and you can't, like, you don't have time to, even if you. This is who you are, you're gonna. I feel the pressure to go with the next thing. You know what I mean? It's like, that's why I feel bad. Like, there's some of these kids that are just, you know, super immersed in social media and. Because it's a crazy fucking place.

Yeah.

And I'm having this, like, debate with myself. It's like, oh, like, when do I let my daughter have accounts and shit? And even less like a. Like a smartphone, you know what I mean? I'm happy with her running around with one of those, like, what are they called? Like ladybug phones or whatever that has like your mom's number, your dad's number, all this shit.

Yeah, I think it's a t mobile.

Sidekick or whatever the alias to or whatever.

Or, dude, what if your daughter had like one of those CB radios, like, you actually gave her one in her crib or whatever, or, you know, or whatever crib she has at two and a half years old if she's still in there and that's fine. And I say, hey, keep Mendel seven. But what if she had in there, she's just sitting in her cream. She's like, break her breaker.

Well, we take certification very seriously. So once she could pass the cert class, then we can get her the cv. Hey, I don't want her fucking wild rogue on the airwaves.

We don't need that. Hey, this is full diaper to Grace world. You remember that song is full diaper to Grace World. Come back, Grace.

Come pick me up. What are you doing? You remember that song about. It was about, like, teddy Bear and it was about this kid and his dad, like, had passed or something and he got ahold of his CB radio and was just like, hey, I want to be a truck driver one day. I love everything. Like. And then they all come and like, take him for a ride in their truck and stuff like that. It's a really sweet thing.

It was a song.

Yes, sir. I would be tempted to call the police or report him at least, because I know for a fact he's not certified.

So.

It'S a very sweet song, but I don't want to do that. But I have to, you understand?

Hey, rules are rules, dude.

Oh, dude, you're so fucked. You're going to be getting a big fine.

It's the most I've laughed in a long time. Rules are rules, dude. Dude, what do you think? If you met an alien, right? What do you. What song would you play for them? Right? This is a big question. So say aliens come, okay? We send you to meet them and they're like, they send me, huh?

Me?

Dude, it's out of you. The rock and a. Probably a diversity higher. Okay. Because some people don't consider the rock diverse anymore. So, yeah, yeah. It's out of you, a little bit of this.

Show me what you got, right, so.

And what song do you play for the aliens? Right? Because, dude, it's got to be a banger. Because if the first one isn't a banger, it's gonna be a rap, dude.

Shit, when them pigs try to spit it, you drop it like it's all. That's fire. No, that's fire. I think it'd probably be fireball. Pit bull, get them. Like, ready, go. Mister thrill five. No problem. Ready to fucking go. Like, hey. All right, let's go.

How does that song go?

Fireball.

I was at a dinner a couple months ago and Pitbull plays, right? And we're standing there in the audience, and I think it's me. And, like, you can't play Pitbull at dinner. Well, that's the rule. That's what I thought. And Pitbull's on, and we're like, how do we know this is a real pit bull like this? There could be 30 pit bulls playing around America, right?

He went to perform. There was a. It was Pitbull.

Pitbull, they said was playing. But then we looked at the guy, were like, this could be any Uber driver.

You never get close up shots of Pitbull.

That's.

And he's always got big glasses.

Yes, he was. It was like, dude, there could be seven pit bulls playing right now.

Just like, birds aren't real, maybe fucking pit bull ain't real.

Ain't real, maybe.

Is this the. See, bro?

First of all, this is in. Pull up that picture right there in the middle. Right above. Right there. This is anything. And that's fine, dude. But, yeah.

Oh, no, I don't see these kind of. Is that people on the right, maybe. Look at that. That's. Is that a mug shot? Go back to this one. Is that a mug shot? Because if that's a mug shot, that's the hardest. Hardest mug shot of all time. That's not Pitbull. That's Jeff Bezos, of course.

Let's see right there. It could have been anybody. It could be pit bull. It could be Wameron.

How about Jeff Bezos getting down? Look at the heart glasses. Where is he? Here? What festival is, bro?

He's delivering packages. You feel me saying that guy did. My friend told me that he can bust big loads. Dude, I made that up.

My buddy told me he's bus fat nuts.

My buddy told me he got big buzz.

That's just. You're on the Elvis tour and featherbed comes and hear about Jeff Bezos. He's busting fat nuts.

Hey, uh, they call him Jeff Buzzos. I've been kissing your mother.

And this is where Elvis used to kiss his mom.

Overnight delivery.

Can't decide what's going on.

What is this show about? Jesus Christ.

You were saying? I'm so sorry. You saying no, I was saying. Exactly. Let's get back. So, anyways, you got a step mom. I like this Jeff Bezos, though. I'll say.

Well, I'll say this. The guy's incredible. He's obviously incredible businessman.

Well, I like this version.

Okay.

Whatever he's up to, he's an amazing. I can't even believe Amazon is gonna like. It's gonna probably be very dystopian. It's gonna be scary, I think.

What does dystopian mean?

Like, kind of like Orwellian.

Okay. So, like, I. Foreign. Mystical? Spacey.

Exactly. I think that that's verbatim the definition. I just think, like, it's, like, very thought police. There you go.

Okay, here we go. Dystopian. Relating to or denoting an imagined state of society where there is great suffering or injustice. The dystopian future of a society bereft of reason. And then the noun is a person who imagines or foresees a state or society where there's great suffering or injustice.

So it's like, I think with all the drones like you now, we were just in San Francisco, and our driver got cut off by a self driving car. No. And you can't even cuss him out.

And how do you go home to your wife after that?

Exactly. It's just like, you seen the Tim Robinson show?

He's so funny, isn't he?

He's so funny. But there's the one where he goes to a magic show with his wife, and the magician brings him up on stage and just, like, makes fun of his suit or whatever, and they go home, and his wife's, like, laying there. He embarrassed you. And she, like, they get divorced, all this shit. Because the magician on stage made fun of his suit and just, like, made jokes. But, yeah, cut off by a self driving car. 100%. And it gets to this point to where it's, like, all humanity is loss now. Even with social media, it's like. It's very thought police, Ian. We police each other.

Yeah. Yeah.

Even then into the voluntarily. Voluntarily is what we do. And you. And then now everything is heard and seen and everything. So it's just like, I can't tell you how many times I've been on my phone and thought about something, and then the next time I google something, it comes up. I didn't even say it out loud. It's just there. Like, I was thinking, like, oh, maybe. How sick would it be to, like, jack off on a jet ski in my head? Totally. And I get on Google and buy the jet, like, wikifeet and then get this jet ski. You know what I mean? It's, like, fucking crazy. And, like, how does that even work? Does it just know you so well that it knows what you're gonna think at this moment? It's just going crazy. And it's the biggest company in the world.

Amazon.

Yeah.

Mom delivers for them.

Does she experience any of that stuff.

I mean, she said no, she's nothing. Yeah. She hadn't met anyone.

It's just like the roombas and shit, you know what I mean? They scan your whole house.

Yeah.

And it is convenient, but convenience, not always the best way. Sorry to cut you off. Sorry.

No, dude, I'm cutting you off. And it's like, I'm sorry to cut you off, but it's okay. Thank you.

Fucker.

I'll go. But it's like. Yeah, it's. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know what we turn into more and more as things get, you know? Bernie Sanders was just on, and he was talking about. And I loved it, too. I gotta say that.

Yes, sir.

I loved. I was a Bernie fan. I'll say it.

You know, he seems awesome.

Yeah. And I don't know all. I don't know every one of his policies, but I was a fan of him.

He seems like a great guy to crack a beer with or just hang out with.

And he comes in and he's like. And he's got his bag with him. And every Zipper on the bag is open. And so immediately I was like, that's me. That's my guy. Every guy working so hard. Keep going. Every zipper is open. There's visine in one and, like, a couple masks in the other. He pulls a manila folder out. He looks through. He's like. He splits that down. Looks at the cookies we got for him. Not interested. I think he wanted ginger snaps.

We didn't get it. It's an old time retreat.

I agree. We thought currant treats are bad.

Yes, sir.

And he goes, I'm ready. And so we start talking, man, and. And it was just great, you know? He wanted healthcare for everybody. And the things he wants. It's like normal stuff. It's like you just want people to feel safe and normal. But, yeah, I just loved his authenticity. I don't know where this was going. Jesus, I'm an idiot.

It's okay, Theo Vaughan. You're fine to me.

Thanks, man.

I can't believe this is a show. Isn't that wild? Isn't that wild?

Dude, we tape above my garage. There are people with lots in different cities or whatever. We tape above my garage raw.

You said top ten in the whole world. I just say you need to just start saying more wild shit. You jump to number one. Yeah. Just say the most. Say the most wild thing you can into that camera right now.

I'll go to jail, dude. Trust me. And just for you sitting in it, you'll go to jail.

Fuck. And I'll say, theo, that's bad.

Yeah. He like to kiss his mother goodbye, I'll tell you that. We've gotten wild enough, dude. So the country tour, will there be anything different than your last tours? No, it'll just be tour. New music.

Tour music. Yes, sir. Lots of fire. I've been. I went and saw George Strait and Chris Stapleton in Utah. It was. That was awesome.

So great, man.

It's amazing.

My brother lives right outside of Mount Zion park.

It's amazing. Well, he's got an awesome spot there. Yeah, we're like 30 minutes outside of Salt Lake and it's lovely.

The state is just stunning.

It's killer.

And there's a sense of freedom. There's a sense of, like, I want to do what I want to do.

That's exactly why I went there. I lived in LA for, like, five years and I was like, I can't do it. Like, I can't do it anymore. It's beautiful. But the people there, and that's not even LA people. It's, you know, like, people who move there, and it's just always. I felt, like, this oppressive energy. It's always like, there's always something to do. There's always something someone wants from you. And I went and did a show, and I met beautiful people in LA.

Oh.

And I've also met a lot of fucking dickheads, but I did a show in Utah and I was like, this place fucking rocks. And so a week later, we got.

The house and that was it.

And it was the best. Best decision I've made. You know?

I, um. Yeah, some of my best shows that I've had recently were through Idaho and Utah.

Idaho probably gets down, bro.

Dude, I didn't know if they like, g uns over there.

Oh, you didn't know?

I didn't know.

There's nothing else to do.

I was like, who likes guns? Seven people just shot.

Single action colt, if I can. Single action army.

Yeah, cool. Noted.

Yeah, man.

Yeah, so that was pretty cool.

Be funny. Funny, man.

Oh, you tighten up.

Your posture is fucking. Yeah.

And so that was pretty amazing, man. It's going there and it's such beautiful country out there. And I think a lot more people are like, what are we doing in these cities? What am I chasing?

Yeah.

I want to be alive. I want to feel like something important. Did you feel like as you got more famous, that part of you, like, changed or disappeared or. Because when did you start to get popular at or let's just say popular because fame is a weird word.

Yeah.

You know what? Things happen to you. Did you notice anything? Did some of it feel bad?

Yeah, man. I mean, I. Migos had a song called I'd rather be rich than famous. Makes a lot of sense. It's just especially whenever it's. You're coming, like the whole music world so young, it's super easy to just be a fuck up kid, you know what I mean? And not know what the fuck is going on. And it was hard. And that's. Since then, I've moved to Utah. I got rid of my social media. I keep way more to myself. I don't really go out anymore. I just like. And, you know, for a long time I was very sad. And I find myself now getting back into what is fun to me and what I love doing. Been a lot of riding, a lot of time in the fucking woods. I just got a. A really awesome piece of property where I can just sit and fish and be to myself. And I wondered for the longest time why I was so sad. And it was just because I wasn't able to do what I like to do in my current circumstance. And I think it's important for anyone who's doing anything to be able to get out and take some time for yourself.

And for the longest time, I didn't do that. You know, it was just head down and go, go, go. But now, taking this time to really just do what I like to do. And I have a daughter. I guess she's cool. She's fine.

So that helped.

Yeah.

You really mean that, what you're saying?

Yeah, absolutely, man. And I think it's important for everyone.

I struggle, like, I just keep feeling like I need to do more to prove, like, I don't know what I'm trying to prove things to sometimes.

Yes, sir.

It's like there's this constant, like, I've had it since I think I was a kid.

Yes, sir.

Like, I'm not enough. And I just. I don't know if it's. I'm not enough. That's not the feeling. The feeling is like, I need to keep. I need. What else can I do? What's the next? I just. I have, like, I have to do more. But it's like, what am I trying to appease? Am I trying to. That's the thing I struggle with sometimes, you know? And I think in the end, later on, I've realized, I think as an adult, it's just this endless feeling of like, oh, I'm not enough. I have to constantly prove myself to you. Like, and if I proved myself to you yesterday, that's not enough.

That's not enough.

I have to prove myself again to you today. And I think it's just this. I don't know how that magnet started that keeps pulling that energy out of me, you know?

You. I think people have the natural inclination to want to be great, you know? And it's like, even with music, with me, I can only speak on my behalf. I can't speak on your world at all. But whenever I make a record, I'm already writing new songs. Like, I'm like, I've already done these songs. I want to see what I can do next. I want to see what I can make next. You know what I mean? It's always like, you want to create, and we get caught up in this kind of deal where it's just like. It's just like I said, everything is so fucking fast.

Yeah, now it is.

And like you said, I proved myself to you yesterday. Why do I got to prove myself to you today? And it's. Nothing is certain, and we just want to be great. I think humans inherently want to be great and be accepted. And let me ask you this. What do you like to do? What do you like to do when you're not working?

You know, honestly, I like to go fishing, man.

Yeah.

I like to talk to my brother. I like to think about my friends. I like to pray for my friends and people.

Maybe you go be a minister. Like a volunteer minister. I was thinking about signing up for the fire department.

Okay, I agree you're still getting people out of fires, but pulling people out of Hades and pulling people out of a fucking somebody. Fucking somebody. Set off a space heater in a Hampton inn. It's a little bit different. Okay. But I feel you understand what I do. 100%, brother. Praise God, baby. Yeah. One day, I think I would like to end up in that or in some form of, like, is there anything from my life that I can share that will help somebody not feel some of the tough parts that I felt?

And yes, sir.

Yeah, that's it.

Your heart is bigger than your hat, dude. And I can tell that from the first moment I met you. I think we met at losers the first time.

Oh, yeah.

We were just hanging out back with earned. Yep.

And earn is the glue of this city.

Oh, my God.

Can we go ahead and say, knows everybody?

It's amazing.

He knows everybody.

Any sweetheart.

So funny.

Yeah.

And he's so talented.

Yes, sir.

And I hope he feels how much people love him.

Yes, sir.

Because they do.

Absolutely. And I love that motherfucker, too. More than life, brother. Yeah. I love you.

Do I have never. He's the funniest person.

He's a whip, dude. He's a whip. It's insane. He's just. He's so fast. He's fast. I can't even believe it. Like, it's kind of like hanging with John Mayer. Like, whenever you meet John Mayer, it's like everything you say, he has a one liner in response, and it's the coolest thing you've ever heard anyone say. Earns very much like that. I've like, he's just. He's going, going, going, going.

Oh, John's magnificent, dude. So I went. I met John Merritt probably 17 years ago, right? And then seven years later, I saw him at the comedy store. And my. When I met him, I was working as a tour manager for an artist named Josh Kelly, who also came out of Georgia. But anyway, he and I met John one night, and seven years later, I was at the comedy store and I saw John, and I said, hey, man, I met you. And he goes, I met you at an apartment in New York City seven years ago. And he. He fucking knew.

It's insane.

I was like, oh, you're a wizard.

Yeah, he is. He is a wizard.

It was crazy, man. And so we. Yeah, we went. Saw him recently at the Grateful Dead and co. And how was that show, dude? It was so special, man. It was so special. My brother's a huge grateful Dead fan, and I love my brother so much, I can't. I don't even have the words for how much I love my brother.

Yes, sir.

And. And in between the shows, his assistant came out and said, hey, john wants to say hey to you guys. I'm. So we're walking back, and my brother's a huge grateful Dead fan. Like, he's, like, bought, like, jerry's, like, replica DNA off Reddit and shit. He's had some tough moments, but he's a great guy. And so. And my brother's, like, looking at all the dress rooms like, shit. You don't do. Like, you know, you're walking back. You don't fucking. You know, I was, like, looking at, like, the. You know, he's looking at, like, the coffee tray and this. What's going. You know, he sees Bob. Weird stress. Let me introduce him himself to a security guard. You know, it's sweet. You know, it's cool.

It's amazing.

Yeah, it was awesome. And then we got to go in and talk to John, and I literally just sat there while they talked about Grateful Dead.

Yeah.

And that moment right there was the highlight of my life.

Yeah. And I can tell you love your brother, dude, like, so much. Just basic. You sit there because to be a hundred percent candid with you, I could not name one Grateful Dead song.

Yeah.

And for you to sit there and talk about the Grateful Dead. Oh, I love it.

That's amazing so much, because I just knew. And they're both. And my brother is very articulate and extremely smart, especially when it comes to, like, child development and stuff, and so. And I knew that, in a weird way, his intellect and John's would be cool, and it was just nice. But it was nice of John to welcome us. Anyway. It was a great show. I'm kind of bragging there, but. But that was, like, a cool moment, you know? And the other day, I was texting my brother, and he's like, yeah. He's like, hey, you know, John? I like. It was cool that John just let us have a regular conversation.

Yeah.

And I was like, yeah. It was really.

He's a stud, man. Much like earn. That's. I get the same kind of deal.

Oh, you do?

Yeah, I get the same kind of deal. I think so.

Yeah.

Smart, man.

Earn is so good. I mean, he. Yeah, it's crazy. I I. He makes me laugh. I'm like, how do I laugh? I got to talk to him.

Yeah, he's. He's. He's a killer. Yeah, he's a killer. And, you know.

Did he work on a new. Is he on one of your new songs?

He. Yeah, we did a song together. He wrote a bunch on the record, and he's just like, dude, he's on top of it. I can't even believe it. I'm honored to work with that young man, and he's just a great heart. It was him and Chuck, through them, I met everyone here, and it's a. It's a great spot right here, man. I just can't believe it.

Yeah. What's the time in Nashville been like? So it's been, what, five or six months you've been here?

Yes, sir. Yeah, five or six months. Or maybe a little more, I think.

Did you buy a house here?

No, sir. I want one. It's just so damn expensive.

It's pricey.

It is. It is. For a fancy house. Whatever. You know, if you get a new spot, I'll move in with you. I'll move in in the garage.

Yeah, come on in.

I'm pretty low.

I need some help.

Yeah, exactly. I can't swing the Nashville deal, but I'm looking. I'm looking for spots. I'd like a spot out here because every time we come out here, we stay at the hotel or Airbnb. And the folks at the hotel are so sweet and they take such great care of me, but I just need a little more room. So we started Airbnb in a little bit because we have the baby out and all that stuff. And then I said, we'll get a spot. So we started looking and, like, stuff that I'm looking at, I'm like, jesus Christ. It's. It is wild. Yeah, it is wild. We looked at the same house.

I remember we did.

Yeah.

You looked at it, too, huh?

I looked at it on the Internet.

Oh, you looked? You didn't go?

Vi didn't go. I didn't go in person.

I went three times.

Yeah. I didn't go.

It's so. It's so hard for him to get something that's fancy.

You deserve it.

Thanks, man.

Well, all you need to do is start doing like those. You do the youth pastor stuff, but you do it like this big stadium deal. Like the guy. What's the guy's name? Who's the. I don't want to be in an airplane with a bunch of demons. So I bought me a private jet. You know who I'm talking about? Yeah. That dude's awesome.

But no judgment here. Let's bring this fella up.

Benny, I'm not a devout believer in Kennedy Copeland.

I'll say that. Okay. And he knows who we're talking about.

Kenneth Copeland. That's what it is. I don't want to be. God gave me an airplane.

Why? You don't want to fly commercial? Why have you said that you won't fly commercial? You said that it's like getting into a tube with a new look.

Evil.

Why do you.

He's got, like, the classic villain, Chuck.

Schumer, not the people.

The main reason is because of the need. If I flew commercial, I'd have to stop 65% of what I'm doing. That's really to me.

Isn't it true that you want to fly commercial so that you can fly in luxury? How much money did you pay for Tyler Perry's Gulfstream jet, for example?

Well, for example. That's really none of your business, but.

The business of your donors.

Listen, good question. I pay big slapback right there. You kind of caught me off guard here.

To catch your breath and. And have a conversation.

We don't want to.

We don't want to catch you off guard.

Really?

You ran under a shed.

Hey, you listening to me? My wife thinks inside Edition is. Oh, yeah. Yes. Maybe rolling, too. Again, getting back to the comments that.

You don't like to fly for the.

Lord because you don't want to get.

Into it with a bunch of demons. Do you really believe that human beings are demons?

No, I do not. And don't you ever say I did. It hurts. It hurts. We wrestle not with flesh and blood, but principalities and power.

Can you explain what you meant by that, by that term, then? Just.

It's wild.

And what state is he from?

He's not from Utah.

If he's from Utah. Louisiana. We're. Oh, he's from Newark, Texas.

Oh, fuck.

And that's who you grew up?

Yeah. Okay.

You grew up in Texas?

Yeah, I mean, I guess he's fine. I guess now he's from Lubbock. No shit. That's crazy.

That's why, neighbor.

That's wild.

Did you. Oh, yeah. What were some of your. What were some of the music you grew up listening to in Texas, man?

Fuck.

Or. What was the music that kind of first influenced you? Like, for me, I had a lot. I mean, John Michael Montgomery, to see you play with him the other night.

So cool, bro.

We loved listening to him. We loved listening to Clint Black. We loved listening to Garth Brooks. We loved listening to Lil Wayne. We loved listening to the hot boys, the hot buzz.

Yeah, buddy.

Those are some of the musicians of, like, no doubt. Like, shit like that, you know? Jewel.

Everything. Yeah, everything. That's like. Like, I remember my dad had this, the big ass ipod that was like a hundred or 360 gigs. You remember the big blocks. And I would steal it. I was like, hey, can I use your ipod tonight? And it was everything. It was like Megadeth. Fucking the blueprint. Fucking the Garth Brooks, my mom, fucking lane daily.

Yeah, yeah.

Fucking killer, dude. What is that one?

I think it's the same song.

I like that.

Sorry. I think that could be also from the Muppets. Okay, my bad.

But, yeah, almost unrecognizable. No, it's just everything, man. Like, and I grew up in it. Like, young thug, for me is my favorite lyricist and melody maker. Like, of all fucking time. Like, I remember when he, like, the first song I heard, washington, that it was him and Pee wee Longway. It's a song called loaded. And I was like, what the fuck? These melodies? Like, insane. Like, he goes to such crazy fucking places that free young thug by the way it goes. He goes to such crazy fucking places where you. The natural mind, like, my melody mind doesn't go. He, like, I would go down one place and he would go like two octaves up and I was like, what the fuck, dude, this is mind so fun to listen to. Like, so fucking cool. And, like, a lot of it, like, growing up was in my early teens and everything was thug and like Rocky and George Strait, fucking Hank Sr. Alan Megadeth, Metallica, fucking anthrax, just fucking everything.

Oh, yeah.

And even a little dubstep. I don't listen to dubstep now, but I did, like a little flux pavilion. Just a pepper. But dude, there's so much fucking cool shit going on at any. And that's the problem too. Like, I remember, like, soundcloud just first started and I was maybe one of the first artists to really, like, blow up strictly on Soundcloud.

Really? I didn't even know that Soundcloud.

I think it was like 2013 Soundcloud was going and I think 20. I can't. Dude, I can't remember anything. I have such a dory brain. But, yeah, and it's so hard now. I feel like for new artists to. Because of the volume of music that's getting put out of, which is a fucking amazing thing. Oh, 2007, I was way off.

But that's when it started.

It was really popping. Right?

Things just start. That means they open their doors.

Yes, sir. Probably took five years to get going, type in. When did Soundcloud really start popping?

20.

Like, it's 2017. Look at that. Chance the rapper, post Malone, odd future.

You're on that list.

Yes. Yeah, I'm on the list.

There you go.

In that. Cool.

Yeah, super cool, man.

But, yeah, it's hard now, like, to get discovered especially. Well, it might be. It's either easier or real hard because you can do something that really just tricks the algorithm and saying, like, people get, like, viral, you know, super viral moments, but songs don't have to be viral to be awesome and we miss out. I feel like on so many, like, artists that never, you know, so many talented people that never get the algorithm going for them, but they're fucking killer. And that's like, the hard part is the volume of stuff. And I, like, I'm a big advocate. Like, the first recording software I got, I think making music should be as cheap as it possibly can. And you can get your ideas out. Like, I use a free recording software. I had a $200 guitar. I had a $100 mic, and I would sit in my room and fucking make these songs. I love that concept. But it's hard now because it's. It, like I said, it's so fast, and songs are viral for a couple days, and then, like, you. You don't hear much after that. You know what I mean? And that's like.

Or a train comes through and takes.

But that's what people. But people are like, let's make something that goes viral. I just, like, I want people to fucking express themselves the way that it is. And if you work super fucking hard and you go like, I'm the luckiest dude in the world. I went viral. Like, that white Iverson went viral, and that was because of Fatman key, and he's fucking amazing. Amazing.

But you also feel like you were sharing yourself honestly.

Yes, sir. Absolutely. And that's like. And I think there's so many artists out there that I want to do something in the future where, like, audacity, that free recording program.

Oh, yeah.

Most amazing thing of all, it's free. It's free.

That's the only editor I know to use amazing. It's bonk in the middle of that. I'll be up on that.

It's amazing, and it's free. And it has been free.

Thank you, audacity. I didn't do.

Fuck, yeah.

Thank you, audacity.

Isn't that fucking really was cool?

Yeah, I didn't think about that. I never even thought to thank them because, yeah, I'd be up in the middle of the night, a podcast episode, something be wrong, like, we got to fix it. Boom. I'll use audacity. You know? Yeah, I think, you know, I think express trying to be real to yourself. What makes you fucking feel? What makes you hurt or what makes you want, what makes you angry or what makes you, you know, what makes you uncertainty, you know? Like, if you can find a feeling and. And attach your art to it, I think that. That I just. I don't believe that we can't see authenticity.

Yes, sir.

When we see it.

Yes, sir.

I don't believe that. I know there's hooks, and you can get hook. You know, you can get hooked on the hooks, you know? But I feel like authenticity, you can never lose by just trying.

You know, you're not making it just to make it. You're making it because you love it. It.

Right. Well, Bernie. That's one thing Bernie Sanders said. I said, well, what would you say to a young politician who wants to be you know, someone young who wants to affect culture the same way you did in the seventies when you decided to become a politician. He said, me? No, not you.

Oh, that's what explains Elvis question.

You're talking about. You're talking about Ghost Malone dude. But no, no, no. He said, I said, bernie, what if you had to say to something to a young person who was the same as you in 1970 or 1968, who wanted to affect change? Right. He really wanted to have a. You know, who believed that I'm a human that can have an effect on the world, right. He said, do it because of what your purpose is, not because you want to get elected. Like, you don't have to get elected anymore to serve your purpose.

Yes, sir.

Right. You can serve your purpose because of social media and because of the Internet these days. Just be as much as if you.

Got elect if you were.

Right.

Yes, sir.

So. And I. That was pretty interesting to me. It was like, yeah, find the new road. You know, like, just, like, even with Soundcloud, it's like, fun. Like, yeah, if you couldn't get a deal, if there wasn't a deal, sorry. Handing you a deal, that's like, find.

The new road, find the soundcloud, go independent. And it's such a cool thing to see, like, independent artists and fucking them doing all the shit by themselves. Like, yeah, printing the records, putting it up on dsps, you know, all this stuff. It's so cool. That's. That's why, like, I think I was saying, too, I want to give, like, down the road whenever, you know, there's more time. And I'm not so selfish and self focused. Well, and I got my family, too, so I'm working hard for that.

But it's okay. I feel you, man. It's like, yeah, you get going on your own dream, and your own dream takes off, and then. And it's like, how quick do you feel? Like I need to start to turn around and figure out help.

And when. Yeah, and when can you help others? And that's like, the most important thing for me is either you do it with music, help people, you know, through hard times, or help them get through a tough week or whatever, but I want to make it bigger and help, you know, artists really get a fucking spot and showcase talent because there's so much that does get, you know, like, it's cool. I'm excited, you know, and I'm about 30 years old. I'm 20, I'm 29. But tomorrow or not tomorrow, but next year, I'll be 30. And I'm like, I don't have it in me anymore. You know, I'm figuring it out. I'm like. I'm like, my back hurts, you know, whenever your knees click, whenever you stand up.

Did. I went to an audition one time and, like, all right, do the part. And I started reading, and I, like, pointed, and you could hear, as a.

Quiet room, your elbow go, hear my.

Helmet click so much. It was like somebody loaded a shotgun, and you saw chiropractor. There was one cute girl in the room. She, like, immediately got her phone out. It was like, you could just.

That was not that bad.

It was bad. Everybody gave, even I. You could see in my eyes one of my. I was like, I'm going home. We'll just let the other one work. You know, I cocked in earlier than he did. You could see fucking my. You could just see things change, you know? But it is wild. Yeah, but it is also wild. And also, you want to get to a place in your life when it comes to, like, giving back, where you know what you want to give back to, like, that's the craziest thing. It's like, I've been in discussions, like, about a year and a half with an attorney about starting a foundation, and, like, well, what do you want your foundation to be? You can't just make a foundation, and it's blind. You, like, the government, you have to make it very specific. And so there's all these certain things, and so. So you have to figure that out. And you don't want to just be blind. You want to do something you care about, because otherwise, then you're supporting something you don't even really care about. Your passion is not going to be in it.

Can I. Ten one? Yeah, all right, let me. Ten one.

You got a pee? You can kill the balcony.

That's not true.

Yeah, it is. Dude. Dude, I'm putting this elmer foot hat on, dude.

Brandless.

That's bad. Hold on. I look like a referee at a freaking. That's horrible, too.

That's not horrible. Why are you too hard on yourself?

Dude, I'm so hard on myself.

Why? Why?

Don't know why. I think, man. It's a great question. Let me think about it real quick, and let me seriously think about it. Why am I so hard on myself? I think there's a constant feeling of, like, I think, you know, I think it comes from when I was a kid. I have to be enough for you to see me. So how do I make myself enough or. Okay, where you'll see me, you know?

I see you, and you're a stud and I love you. You're a killer.

Thanks.

And there's so many people out there that think the same. The hat did suck, though. Yeah. You're amazing.

Thanks, dude. Yeah, no, I don't know why. It's just so crazy that it shouldn't get built into me, man. Thank you, dude. That's sweet.

Come on.

No, just sweetie you to say, man. Yeah, it's like, I hate that. I hate that I'm always having to like, you know, after a while it gets, you know, taking my. Do I look okay? Do I seem okay? Do I. Like, I just want to fuck it. I'm just tired of the fight, you know? And the fight is just against me. That's. It's like the same thing you're saying. It's like. So I'm not getting in. I'm not getting into self pity mode here. I'm just looking at it, you know? Sir, I want people to know that some, you know, sometimes we can get into self pity. I got to be careful there.

Yes.

You know, I don't want to get in self pity, but it's like. Yeah, why is that? You know? But even thinking about it, like this is kind of helpful, you know? So thanks, man.

No, thank you, theo. And, dude, this shit that you do and how many lives you brighten every day just by being your fucking self and doing this show and it helps so many people. It's fucking bitchin to put it mildly. Yeah, it's bitchin dude. You're such a bitchin dude. You're such a bitchin dude.

He's almost a little femme. Okay.

No, yeah.

I found high film.

Yeah, it's.

I film. Thanks, dude.

You.

Thanks, bro.

Thank you, man.

Yeah, I wish I could think, you know, I think it was just so hard when I was a kid. It was so hard to feel highly myself, you know? It was like. I just, like. I don't know, I felt like I just wasn't worth a lot, you know?

Theo Vaughn.

No shade.

Quit it, brother.

Sorry.

No, captain. Quit it. You son of a bitch.

Thanks, bro. I'm not trying to be weird.

No, you're not being cute. Take the hat off.

Look, I kissed your.

Kisses, mama.

No, I don't know. I. Yeah. Just. I don't know. Sometimes that old shit fucking comes up, you know?

No, absolutely.

And I want to respect it because that's the old kids feelings. But also. Yeah, I want to let that kid know the same things. You say that like, you know, I'm a deserving person and that I'm a good person and that it's okay.

You are. Like.

Yeah.

That'S why I asked earlier. Like, I get the idea. I can. You know, we've met times before, but today I feel like, take some time to do fucking theo shit, dude. Take that. You deserve it more than. More than you know, I think. And that's, like, a really fucking cool thing. You are such a good person, and I'm just honored to know you. And you fucking kick ass.

You too, man.

You kick ass, dude. Thanks for talking to me about that stuff. I know it's not always easy to talk about, and I'm. I didn't mean to put. Push it on you.

No, I didn't. I don't feel like you did, man. You know, it's something a lot of, like. Like, the listeners of this show think about a lot. You know, it's like, we talk about that stuff a lot. You know, it's like. Yeah. How we feel, our relationship to ourselves, that kind of shit.

You know, it's important. It is important. And it gets overlooked.

Yeah. Gets. I mean, I can't believe it's not a class in school, like, hey, how do you feel about yourself? Like, fuck, dude. I'd have wrote 70 essays on that.

Yeah, it's easy. Oh, that's a f. Yeah. Fucked, right? Yeah. Right. This is. You don't know, motherfucker.

Yeah, it's crazy. There's not a world of. A little bit more. A world of emotional intelligence.

Yes, sir.

Like, when we grow up.

Yes, sir.

Because it would help people so much.

Absolutely.

But thanks, bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and, yeah. Like, I feel. Yeah, most of the time, I feel great, you know? And, dude, the past few years have just been so good. It's, like, going through, like, so much therapy, and I've done ayahuasca treatments and I've done. I've been in twelve step recovery. Like, yes, sir. 95% of the last ten years. And so, you know, all of that whole universe has been great, and you're.

Fucking killing it, dude.

Yeah. Look, dude, you're here today.

I made it. You got me, dude. You got me and Bernie.

Dude. Yeah. Could I ask for two more sweethearts? If I had a Valentine's when I was a kid, I would have picked a woman. But instead I got you and Bernie. And I'll take it, bro.

Well, double Valentine's very progressive.

Yeah.

Polyamorous Valentine, bro. Fucking good band name.

It doesn't have polyamorous Valentine.

Yeah, that's cool, dude.

Do you ever. Have you seen all the Halloween costumes of. You ever seen you do the cool.

A cool story about Halloween? I don't know if I've told this before.

Yeah, tell it, mandy.

We were in on Bourbon street in the big easy.

Oh, yeah. New Orleans, man. I'm from Covington, Louisiana.

So close, and I love it there, by the way. It's, like, the dopest place, but we.

Went on a great place to go missing.

Oh, it's the best. We went on Halloween, and people thought I was a costume and didn't get stopped once. They were like, sick costume, dude. I'm like, dinks, man. It didn't get stopped once. These. I know, I love this. Like, dude, it's so cool to see. I don't know why babies dress up as me so much. I don't know why my music is so big to the three and under demographic.

Is that true?

It is. Look at all these babies.

Pull up post Malone babies. Oh, my God. That one has a cigarette. Bring up post Malone babies, dude costume.

I'm trying, dude. Well, see, look. Baby. Baby costume. Hey, theo, hold on.

Zoom in.

It's coming around. Hold on.

Bring this up, dude. This kid looks like somebody Gypsy Rose would date or. What's that lady's name? Gypsy.

Gypsy Rose.

It's her name. Gypsy Rose.

Who's that?

That looks like somebody Gypsy Rose is probably gonna leave prison for. Gypsy's blanchard. Beautiful lady. What she do from Louisiana? Well, who knows what she did? But she is okay with meeting men outside of prison. Pull back. Go to the damn. Go to the babies.

The baby would look normal. I'm not prosthetic feet.

No joke. I'm not gonna joke. And this is no shade. This looks like Travis Tritt. Son, bring up Tristan Trit. Oh, God. He's gonna kill me for this, dude. Tristan, I love you and your sister and your father. Bring up Tristan Trit. Okay, but hold on. No, put it together for me right now. You don't see it? Oh, you are an artiste, and you don't see it. I mean, kissing your mother. You don't see it, white boy? It is what it is of Tristan Tritt, beautiful young man. Travis Tritt's son, talented musician. We need long hair. Just do your best real quick and put it together. We'll put it together, then we'll come back to it, dude. Um.

What is that one right there? Wait, go back to that real quick, sir. Yeah, click on that. Go down. What is that third image? What is that? What does that say, why do you draw on your eye? The concept gives me nightmares. Congratulations. What does that mean?

I don't know. It looks very Vincent van.

That's actually on her face.

That's, like her eye right there.

No, it is nothing. Wait, that's Photoshop. That's her eyelash and that's her eyebrow. That's photoshop, y'all. It's a drawing. It's makeup. That's cool.

That's cool.

Interesting placement, dude.

I couldn't even figure that out. It's dark magic.

I thought it was. Yeah, I thought it was it. That's cool, dude.

That's. Yeah, that's what I'm driving to the city.

That you stepping out. Who's on the other eye?

Dark magic.

Huh? Who's on the other eye?

Probably, uh, Dennis Rodman.

Cool.

The other. Hold on. The other post Malone.

Oh, it comes out of the beard. Yeah, it's your beard. All right, I get it. I understand that.

What are the different malones? I've seen. I've seen Coast Malone. Have you ever seen that one?

No, sir. Is it like a shore?

It's like. Yeah. Mal. Uh, CDC. Coast Malone.

Let's not avoid the Theo Vaughn baby Halloween costumes. That's good. That's apocalyptic almost.

Good hit the one with the mountains right there on the fourth one. That's very.

I don't see why not. It's very similar. Well, you just got to get enough land, then you could carve it yourself.

Oh, Dermot Kennedy's coming on, dude. He'd love to do it. Dude, he's an irish slot. Yeah, we had coast Malone. Who else do we have? We had, um, ghost Malone's classic.

Yeah, toast Malone. This one's good.

Toast Malone is good.

I love it. I like the fourth one.

Yeah, pull out the fourth one. Right?

Yeah, that's my favorite.

That is. Enjoying the roast Malone.

It's cursed.

That's just a white guy at a chevron. Okay, bring up, uh. What else do we have? Roast Malone. Bring up roast.

Roast Malone's good.

Roast Malone is good.

Imagine selling. It's like the Jesus on a cracker or whatever. That go for some money. That most terrifying. You don't want to cut into your.

Christmas ham and fucking most Malone is good.

What's that?

It's just a picture of jelly roll. Sorry. And that's an old joke. And if I go to hell for that, that's on me. And that's a. That's. It's a cheap joke. Jelly roll. And I will say that what a low blow.

You, Cox.

That is a low blow. But I'll say that it's a low blow to a high guy. And I believe that I can apologize to him.

He's the best, dude.

That's the most that. Those are the most malones I've ever seen.

That's the most.

That's the most Malone's. Is there something, when you think about your career, you've had a story career.

Sure.

You know, and thank you for it, man. You know? Thank you for just taking us, like, you know, you feel like a concierge that takes us through different universes, and I appreciate that, man.

That's the kind thing to say.

Yeah. Well, it's important because a lot of artists say it's like their wheelhouse is. It's not limited, but it's like, it's not as multifaceted, you know?

Yes, sir.

And I appreciate that because people are multifaceted. Absolutely. There's a lot to people and. Yeah. It's just good to see that. It's good to see you share, like, vibrant sides, thoughtful sides, introspective sides, like, angry sides, vibe. Besides, it's just cool to see you share the different sides, man. You know? I think that's the new wave of what a lot of people want to see about. Of artists.

Yes.

Because it's not that you love the music as much anymore. For me, anyway. Maybe I'm speaking for myself. Sure. You like the artist, you know?

Sure. And I think that that says a lot for me. It's the perfect marriage of those two, you know? Like, I can't tell you how many times, like, I've seen someone, I'm like that dude. Well, this is bad example. Christoph Waltz. Right? One of the greatest actors of all time.

Christopher Walken.

Christoph Waltz.

Sorry.

German. Yeah. Pull him up. You'll know him if you see him.

I believe in him.

Crustyf Krusty vault, crazy paper airplane throw. I like the Google searches.

People don't need to finish school to work here.

Christoph Waltz.

Oh, Christopher Waltz. Yeah, beautiful guy.

You know him? He was in Django. He was an inglorious bastards.

Beautiful guy.

But even if he wasn't one of the best actors of all time, he seems so fucking cool. He seems like a great dude. He's got a great smile and a nice german accent, kind of up here. And I like. He's just so trill. I haven't said trill, and I don't throw that term around loosely.

No one said it in a decade.

Seems super trill. And boss zom.

Oh. Breaking up a bottle of troll is like breaking him a fine wine, you know? Yeah.

Hold on.

Post it has opened up.

2010 trill.

Somebody called Bieber, dude. We're having a night.

Um, being who you are and being kind to people and just doing your best to be kind to people is the kind of vibe I get from him and the vibe I get from you. You could be shit, but you're gonna win, because you are a kind, kind person. So that's.

Thanks, man.

I guess that's what I'm saying. I don't know how Christoph Waltz got brought in, but. I love you, Christoph waltz.

Amen.

And I love.

What's that?

I love you, theo.

Oh, thanks, bro. I appreciate it. Love you, too, man.

I thought I was gonna get the me, too on that one. I love. I love gig.

I've enjoyed. I've enjoyed listening your music over the years. I've enjoyed seeing you being like. You know, I feel like when I see you sometimes you're a reflection of the better parts of myself and others. And so I see you, and it reminds me of a smile about where I'm at, and I think that's a nice thing. And there's a lot of people that do that, but you are one of the people in the limelight that do that. And, yeah, I've loved listening to the songs I've heard in your new album so far, the ones with Morgan, Luke Combs, laney, Blake Shelton.

Yes, sir.

And I think it's only four listening so far, but I'm looking forward to listening to. To more of them. It's out now.

Fuck, yeah.

Yeah. There's a bonus track out now.

Is there?

That's what I heard. If there isn't, we'll take that out. But post Malone, thank you so much, man. Thanks for spending time with me, and. And thank you for spending time with humanity. I think it's important that we have people like you in the world.

Well, thank you for having me on, and I'm so honored to be here, and everyone has been so kind to me, and you're the shit, and thank you.

Thanks so much, bro. I love you, bro.

I love you, too. And I love you, too. And just keep being yourself, keep being awesome, and don't be a dick. I love you. Have a great night.

Be good to yourselves, baby. Gang.

Cornerstone. Oh, but when I reach that ground.

I'll share this peace of mind I found I can feel it in my.

Bones but it's gonna take.