Ted seems to care about things and think about more than himself. And you seem like someone who's just devoted your whole life to self pleasure, just living in the moment. Good times. And I want to. I demand.

I think that sums it up pretty good.

No, that's not true.

Hi. Welcome back to where. Where everybody knows your name. With me, Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson. Sometimes, for this conversation, we are outside, up on the roof of the team Coco office here in LA. It was Woody's idea. Don't ask me why. I think it's because he loves the sound of leaf blowers, if you don't know, Team Coco is the media company founded by today's guest, who also happens to be our podcast boss, Conan O'Brien. He hosts the hit podcast Conan O'Brien needs a friend. But I'm glad to say that Conan is back on tv. He has a new show called Conan O'Brien must go in, which he goes all around the world to visit his biggest fans who have called into his podcast. All four episodes are out now on the Mac's streaming service. Anyway, Conan is a brilliant comedy, mind, and it was such a treat to talk with him. And I'm not just saying this because, well, it's in our contract, which it is. But here's my friend and now yours, Conan O'Brien.

Oh, look who's coming.

We're gonna talk about you. He has five minutes for us.

Five minutes. I got a lot to do.

Okay, we're just reminiscing. It's not your turn yet. About when we worked with you, I came on. Oh, hey, listen, he's here. Why are we pretending? This is. We don't do pretend. Well, Woody. Especially Woody.

Wait, you're actors. That's essentially all you do.

No, no, we do everything real.

We don't pretend.

No, we only tell the truth is that.

And the truth is, Conan O'Brien just sat down next to us.

They did?

So, hi.

When I see you guys sitting together and I see a third chair, I am strongly motivated to sit in that chair. I really am. I adore both of you. This is a huge treat. So thank you for having me. Seriously.

This is why he's so good on his podcast.

He's so good.

Good at pretending to admire people.

Pretending. We're all here pretending, I guess.

No, seriously, I was. Here's what insulted me. We are right now, you are doing your podcast at a studio that I have built with my bare hands. And this is my staff, and I come in today. Everyone's smartly dressed and really excited because two big stars are coming. I come in every day and people are dressed like shit, and suddenly it's like, well, you know, Ted and Woody are coming. And I said, I know, but come on, what about me? They don't care. They're very excited that you're here, by.

The way, you look dressed up, too. You got the grace slacks.

He wants to ask you about your underclothes.

Oh, let's hear it.

Briefs or whatever.

Well, yeah, actually, Woody, that was private between the two of us.

Oh, I didn't realize.

Yeah.

Okay.

I just use an ace bandage. I wrap an ace bandage around my testicles and crotch, and so that's a great visual.

Thank you.

Yeah. And then I can set the tension every day depending on what I want.

To feel or who you're interviewing.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah.

I can cinch it, get it real tight.

What is the. It's the kind of the catholic adjunct to that. They do that kind of.

Yes. Not even the Catholic. It's self flagellating. Right. What it is, it's this idea that we're all. I don't know how you guys were raised. I was raised very catholic. You were raised catholic?

No, watered down catholic.

You're so watered down catholic, there's no way. Right. You're supposed to suffer and feel badly. And my mother used to start every sentence with, I just feel so bad. I just feel so badly that someone else didn't have enough cake, that someone else missed the bus, that someone else. I saw someone on the street today, and I just felt so bad. You're supposed to feel badly all the time. And so I think that was part of the pride goeth before a fall. Yes. If you're miserable in this life, you will be rewarded in heaven, but you need to be miserable all the time.

Wow. You know, I think there's something to that. I mean, you're joking about it, but it really is. Like, you need to kind I have. And I kind of ran the place while I was in college. And as I was getting out of college, there was this pipeline that was starting where people in LA and New York Saturday Night Live was saying, hey, we got Jim Downey from SNL for SNL. Is there anyone else that could be good at SNL? And Jim, Danny would say, well, you should, maybe George Meyer, maybe, you know. And so there was nothing available at SNL, but my writing partner and I came out here, got a job at a show called not necessarily the news. And it's the same thing. You were saYing, woody, you can't get a job in writing if you're not in the WGA. You can't be in the WGA if you don't have a writing job. And suddenly, and there was this show that said, we'll give you a writing job for a couple of weeks, and if you make the cut, you can stay.And it got us into the WGA, and we got to stay for, like, two years. And the first thing I did on my first day was called the groundlings and say, because I knew I wanted to get on stage and said, I want to do improv. And they said, we're all full up. But there's a class in Midtown, in Hollywood, on La Cienega, and it's at the Coronet Theater, and a woman named Cynthia Sageti teaches it. And you literally just put, like, a $20 bill into a bowl when you come in and you take this improv class. And the first day I'm there, I meet another person who's just out of college, who's really funny, and she. And I click right away, and she says, hi, I'm Lisa Kudrow. And I go, hi, I'm Conan O'Brien. And we become best friends. And I start writing tv by day, doing improv at night, and one thing starts to lead to another. But it's always been fascinating to me that I went to this college specifically because I had kind of said, that's not gonna. Comedy's fun. You don't make your living at it. So that's why I decided to get serious and go to this college, which immediately, the second I get there, foot.Trunn on the wall dumps me into.This track where I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be, writing stuff and getting to perform some. And it was just. It was magical.How did you pay the rent, as it were, during those years?Well, we got a writing job right away, so the rent. The writing would pay the rent. And we were getting, you know, we were getting scale but writers Guild scale, when you're 22 and it's your first job, is fantastic. And also, I had a $380 a month apartment on Cochrane street in Hollywood. It was rent controlled. And I drove a 1973 Plymouth valiant that I had bought from some surfer dudes down in a very sketchy part of Venice beach. And it was a car that, when you turned it off, it's called dieseling.It goes.So if by chance I did get a date, I'd pick her up in this car that looks like a car that they drove on dragnet. Yeah, it's really just an old lady car, but it was kind of in good condition, and I thought, this is cool and kind of a meta way. Right, ladies? No, but they would. If I got a date and they would go somewhere with me, I'd be the suave guy that wanted to run around and get the door for them. The car would diesel, and the girl would be like, is that a beautiful. Just leave it alone. Leave it alone. In those early, early years, I was so hungry to get where I thought I needed to go, and I didn't even know where that was. So it's like a salmon doesn't know it's swimming upstream to spawn. It just knows it has to go against the current in this direction, that's all. Because there's some tiny piece of microscopic zinc in its brain that says, and that's how it felt to me. I was very, very driven. So there was. I didn't sit around a lot thinking about, am I going to have a family?That's the healthiest way to do it, because I feel sorry for people who just want to be famous as opposed to, no, I just have to. And I don't even know why.Well, that's the culture now. Cause I run into a. I'm sure both of you have, but I run into a lot of people over the years that have said, hey, I want to talk to you about how you got to do what you got to do. And I'd say, well, tell me, you know, do you write comedy? Do you like to perform? No. I'd be like, oh, well, do you act? No, they just want to be. And I used to. I used to say back in the eighties and nineties, well, no, you need to learn your craft, and you have to keep working at it. And I've been proven wrong.It's called influences.Yeah, you don't have to. I mean, it's just. But I still think that. I still think we're not wrong. I still think it's not. You want to find the thing that you do that gives you a real feeling of satisfaction and joy, and I don't think taking selfies 10,000 times a day can give you that.Well, hold on, hold on. Does fame irritate you? How do you deal with everyone knows who you are kind of thing?You know, it's funny, I have. I think I'm part irish Boston politician. Cause I'm around people that are. I have. It's not a choice. I just am fortunate that I am very comfortable, and I think it does help to be tall or big, but you're looking down on people, and in every possible way looking down on those peasants. I wasn't even talking about height. I really just. No, I feel when people come up to me and say, hey, Conan, first of all, what's different is we should acknowledge that the two of you have made your careers being these other people. And I've never done that. I've done sketches where I'm someone else, but it's a cartoon. It's not even a. I'm not an actor. I don't even understand that process. So I'm just myself. So when I'm walking somewhere and someone says, hey, Conan, I go, yeah, what's up? And then they say, oh, I didn't expect to see you. And I say, well, I didn't expect to see you either. And they whatever. And then I. What I have. I like to talk to people, and I'm okay with it. And sometimes a little too okay with it, meaning there have had times where people got their selfie and they're ready to move on, and I ask them more questions, and they say, I really have to go.It's like, you know, so I I'm. Oh, I'm very much okay with it. And I like to normalize it.Yeah.And I think the most normal thing to do is ask people about themselves.Yeah.And it doesn't have to be long, but just literally say, like, oh, thanks a lot. And what's your name? Yeah, you know, my name is Bill. Bill, it's a pleasure to meet you. And it's real. It's just real. And. And I like them to know that the person they hear on the podcast or saw over 30 years of clips, that that's me. That is me. It's no big deal.And I do think you have a responsibility to at least match their. I mean, if they're rude and assholes, you can not. But, I mean, if they're genuine people, you need to match their energy, their excitement.Yes.Their appreciation.It's mirror what's being brought to you. And like I say, if it is a very different thing, I think, you know, there's no one's. If someone goes into a restaurant and Jack Nicholson's sitting there, Jack Nicholson has carefully curated this. Jack Nicholson don't come up to me. Yeah. And if they do go up to him and he says, fuck off, he's just made their day, they're like, jack Nicholson just told me to fuck off. Well, I'm not. I hate to break it to anybody. I'm not Jack Nicholson. They don't. They don't. They haven't seen me on, like, a 50 foot screen being an iconic character. They. I've literally been in their bedroom. And some of them say, I watched you all through high school or college or medical school, and you were on midway tonight and nothing was on, and you were on. And then. And then I didn't like you at first, but I got used to you, and blah, blah, I built up a tolerance. And then there's this, like, oh, this is. But this is. This is. There's no way. If I said, hey, fuck you, it would be a betrayal of the whole thing.And it's also not how I feel.I had to go make a speech at Cornell about oceans, which is something I do periodically. And I used to always start my ocean advocacy speeches with. I know it's strange that the guy who played Sam Malone is going to be talking to you about oceans. And I did this. I did this in Cornell. This is about five years ago, and I saw this total blank. You know, I played Sam Malone, and people are looking at me, and I went to. Okay, let me back up. In the latter half of the past century, I was on a show called Cheers. You know, it's what you used to base your identity in a bad way, but nevertheless, you did all of a sudden vanishes because people don't know about. It was wonderfully, in a good way.Humble do is bring up the good place. And then you're like, so, thank God. You need to keep. You know, it's.You have to keep current.You keep resetting what you're known for. So, you know, it's funny how my whole identity for 30 years was that guy on television with the hair that looked like a dessert. And then suddenly, I have young people coming up to me, or even older people that are like, this podcast. I really love this podcast, and I really enjoy it. And then I find that there's some stuff on YouTube, where you have a desk, you think? Okay. Yeah, I don't. Yeah, yeah, that's okay. Whatever. It's all good.Yeah.As long as, you know, it's. They're still imbibing. Whatever. They're still finding some value in what I'm doing, just in a different way.Right. Plus, you never go away. Now, on the Internet, you can see everything anytime you want.My early work in pornography.I've seen it. I have seen it. I was impressed, Woody. What did you think? We were both watching together?What's that?That big bandage he had wrapped around.My nickname was Ace. That was Ace. And people thought then they saw why I was called Ace. They were all disappointed. He has a very average penis wrapped up in an ace bandage. That's why he's called Ace.I prefer to leave it in a roll because it.Then I understand.Okay.I don't think we need to get into it.Segwaying.Yeah.Hey, I do have a segue that has nothing to do with what we just said. Is that a segue still? No. Sure.Anything is whatever we want it to be, man.I think you live this and you demonstrate it throughout this entire conversation, and you demonstrate it when you're on air doing whatever you do. But what is your guiding principle in life? What do you hinge your kind of moral stance in life on?Oh, wow.He went there.He went.But you're leading a purposeful life, and you are. There's a kind of.I was going to say acquire real estate, but now that sounds hollow. Hang on to it and then only let it go when the price is very high. I will say I have parents who are still with us at 94 and 91, and it was paramount to them that we're be good people. And that was something that was sort of drilled into us. And I know that that can sound corny, because I'm not always a good person. Nobody is. But I do think if, when presented with a situation, if I can discern what I think the right thing to do is, this is kind of a good place, you know, episode. But if I can discern what the kind of the thing that is probably the right thing to do is, I will not always, but more often than not, try to do that thing. And that's just not me. That is parents drilling stuff into me at an early age, and so. And people can say, oh, that sounds really noble, but there's a side to it that's not noble, which is, I think, I hate the feeling I get when I've upset someone or hurt their feelings.It really bothers me. And I think I hate that feeling. Or if I feel I sold someone out, I hate that feeling so much that it's pain avoidance. I'm working backwards, you know what I mean? So it's not like I'm a great person. It really is. I'm trying not to have that terrible feeling over the years. I remembered once, I think I made a joke about Aaron's spelling, something I said, something kind of just derogatory about Aaron spelling shows on my monolog. And a couple days later, I got a letter, and it was from Aaron Spelling.Hurt.And he was hurt. And I felt like I'd been kicked in the stomach. And I don't know Aaron spelling, but he basically just said, I really enjoy your show. And I was watching with my family, and that really bummed me out. And I was devastated. I mean, I felt terrible because I don't want to make somebody feel badly.Did you respond?I did. I wrote him a letter and apologized and said the truth, which is I do a volume business. I'm out there every night, and I filled a name into a slot, which is what I do, and you got dinged. And it's. That's not an excuse, but that's what happened and didn't come from a personal place. And I'm really sorry that that happened, and I'm sorry that you saw it because I know. I apologize.That anger.And he called me so ecstatic. And then I got the impression, wait a minute. He's writing angry letters every day. I'm just the first guy. Because he was too happy. He was like, you wrote me back, you grand son of a bitch. You're the best ever. Let's get it to so. But anyway, it's working backwards from. And I noticed it, too, in performance. I hate the feeling of being in front of people and they're not amused so much. It makes me sick to my stomach that if I find out there's an event I'm supposed to do, I prepare a lot and I ask a lot of questions and I try and think of things and I ask people, is this funny? Is that funny? And it's, you could say, well, that's very noble that you're so hardworking. No, no. It is avoidance of a bad, terrible feeling. I don't want that feeling. So I'm going to do these things to minimize my chances that I'll have them right.Hey, this is going to sound like a change of subject, but can we talk about aging and things that are diminishing, actually. Why don't you talk amongst yourselves while I go pee?Oh, I see what he did there. I see what he did.That's well done.That was very well done.Now. And I can. You know, I feel like he's kind of dominated the conversation.I feel. I mean, to be honest with you, Woody, I came here to talk to you. I told you, you destroyed it in triangle sadness. Absolutely destroyed it. And you are. Whenever you show up, one of my favorite movies, as I told you, is old. No country for old men. And I loved you in that movie so much, and I talked specifically about that scene. So I was geeking out with you, and then I find that fucking Ted Danson's part of this whole thing.Yeah.And I'm sure it happens to all the guests.I really see it.He goes on and on about. When I was speaking, Cornell, about the ocean, I. Who signs up for that lecture?That's a real self aggrandizing. You know, I care about the environment. Okay, great.Sure. Yeah, I get it. There's the ocean. To take care of the ocean. I do. You know, if the ocean doesn't like all that plastic we throw in it, it should expel it to the tides. There's an order to things. So, I don't know. I was looking forward to him urinating, and I could see him.Yeah, yeah.I.Very uncomfortable for the last 20 minutes, because I think he's not just urinating. Being honest with you right now, I think a lot's happening.Yeah. Because of that whole earlier discussion.Yeah. But I'm just happy to have. Now, finally, it's two guys who can wear a similar vintage.Two. Well, real men.Real men. Oh, here he is. No, here he comes. But you know what? He's back. And you know what? The oceans are sacred. And if we don't care for them.Oh, wait a minute.I mean, they are. If you think about it, without the oceans, it's all. All just one continent. But with oceans, suddenly we have continents because they divide up the space of the land.That way we can, you know, war with each other and all the fun.Yeah.This is fascinating conversation. I'm sorry I missed it.No, no, no. It's. I don't think it would interest you. We were discussing our passion for the ocean while you were urinating. But now, Woody, I mean, do you care about. Do you care about the world at all? Because I'm curious. I'm going to drill down on Woody here for a second. Ted seems to care about things and think about more than himself. You seem like someone who's just devoted your whole life to self pleasure, just living in the moment. Good times. And I want to. I demand.I think that sums it up pretty good.No, that's not true. I know we shouldn't be doing it, but let me pick your brain about podcasts. Woody and I being new at this. Do you sit there and think, wait, Mike, I don't want my kids to hear me be this way or tell this story. Do you or my mom and my dad, do you censor yourself?Not really. I don't. And I'll tell you, and this is going to sound like a joke, but it's not. My children have no interest in listening to my podcast, and I take that as a healthy sign. So they will never hear this because they care about themselves and their lives. And they. I am a figure, you know, like a sitcom dad is always a figure of ridicule. I am a sitcom dad. When I go home, they're not interested. I'll say something, and there's a lot of eye rolling and. Yeah, dad, that's what it's called. A gif. No, it's gif. You know, whatever. I'm the idiot. There's a laugh track. And my parents don't. They don't consume podcasts at their age, and so you can say what you want. Yeah.I mean, unless it's about spelling. But you don't want to insult him.No, I feel badly about that. He made some good shows and then some other shows, you know, but whatever. He was a good man. And who am I to say things?What do you do when you have a guest that's like pulling teeth? Because this has been a real challenge today for me and will, to be.Honest, I know this is the most.Taxing challenge I am withholding.Oh, my God.What do you do with people, though, seriously?I just start. It's so funny because we would. I learned this from years and years of doing the late night show, but we would. It hasn't really happened on the podcast because on the podcast, you don't make as many. You know, the real challenge was do a late night show, and I did. Ended up doing, like, whatever it is, 4000 hours of broadcasting, three guests a night, or sometimes not even music, sometimes three talk guests a night. And you do the math and you realize there were so many times I was out there with the 7th lead on a WB show that you've never heard of that lasted three months, named Saz Bickleregh. And I'm like, here he is. And he's 19. He's had no life experience, and he plays Chiz. So here you all know us. He's Chiz on. You better not Saz Beckler. And he would come out and he's just, you know, six weeks ago was working at whatever, polishing trays at Chipotle, and now he's sitting there and, yeah, sometimes lightning strikes. And this kid has an amazing thing say. But there's a lot of times where they've got absolutely nothing to say.And so I would just start talking. And fortunately, a sidekick, Andy Richter, is really funny. And Andy would be sitting on the other side, and I'd be like, you know, Saz, it's funny because it says, you worked at Chipotle. Now, I was in Chipotle once, and I have to say. And then Andy would go, like, oh, don't get me started on Chipotle. And we would go. And Saz would be laughing, and then the whole thing would be over. And I'd say, saz, fantastic, you know, oh, no, you better not check it out on the WB. And everyone would applaud. And then my producer afterwards would say, you know, you were worried about him. I thought Sazh did pretty well. And I'd say, saz didn't say a fucking thing. He didn't say a fucking thing. Look at the fucking tape. It's me and Andy talking about Chipotle and big laughs and Saz just giggling along. But sure enough, people would be like, you know, I saw Saz. He's a raconteur. He's a real Richard Burton. So I would do a lot of talking that's kind of on cheers.I used to think in the beginning, oh, you need to have the funny line. And then I realized, no, you don't need to be the one delivering the funny line. You need to stand next to the person who's doing the funny line, and.You'Ll come across great.And it's what I learned watching the greats. I learned watching Jack Benny and Johnny Carson, who learned it from Jack Benny. And Jack Benny learned it from someone whose name will never know because they existed, you know, before it could be recorded.Pre podcast.Yeah, pre podcast. But I swear to God, some of my best moments that people really love, I'm reacting by doing very little. So someone next to me is telling, being very inappropriate, and the camera's on them, and they're going on and on, and it's a woman going on and on, and it's about this very sexual, sexy thing. And there's just a cut to me looking slightly constipated, and that gets a huge reaction. I didn't say anything. They just know. Yeah, they're uptight, Catholic. They know my part at a certain point, and they know that. So, yes, it's the person who I think it was. Someone once noticed in a script that Jack Benny, who was the biggest star in radio in the thirties and forties, and then a tv of fifties, I mean, massive star, someone went through his script and said, Jack, you don't have any of the laughs on tonight's show, episode. They went through and they looked at it and they said, jack, you don't have one laugh. And he went, my name's on the show. If the show is funny, who cares? And I always had that feeling that I love it when people would come on and Norm MacDonald and any of these iconic people would come on and destroy, you know, my job is to get out of the way.Get the fuck out of the way. I'm here tomorrow night. Get out of the way. And only step in if I can be of help.What is your, oh, I can really unplug. Where do you go with your family? You don't have to tell me the location, but do you get to go take your family and totally unplug everything you do?Yeah, I love to go. I mean, to be honest with you, as I said, like, if I'm, you know, I'm not Michael Jackson or Taylor Swift, I'm one of those people who, people see me and they recognize me and they say hello and more time, very often say something nice to me and will want a selfie, and I'm more than happy to do it. And then I'm at Rei looking at the, you know, the canoe like anyone else and deciding whether or not I should buy it. I didn't. I didn't. I don't need a canoe. But it was a wasted trip. But I should have decided that before I went to Rei. But I really like, one of my favorite things to do is skiing. I love skiing because I just love being outside, and so I love to go skiing. And also, as you know, when you're skiing, like, you're just. No one cares. When you're skiing, no one cares. Do you know what I mean? They're like, oh, Conan's in line with.Us, and you got goggles. And maybe that's Conan, maybe it's not.No, my goggles say, I am Conan. I had the maze right across the. Yeah, I get very. If I'm not recognized, I get very ornery. So all my clothing makes it very clear. I'll tell you one thing I don't tell anybody, which is I do have a motorcycle, which I've had for years, and I just ride it, like, on back roads away from people. And I love that. And I have. I'm super try to be very safe about it, but I just stay away from. You know, I like to get outside Los Angeles and drive places where there aren't a lot of.You don't ride it in the city?No, I don't drive in the city. It's weird. I ride a bike in the city. Like a bicycle? Yeah, but I. But I don't. I'm. I don't know. I don't. I don't. I just feel like I'm. You know, it's too. I don't know. I've just not. I've decided I like back roads. I like. I like taking it way out.Did you drive up to Ojai?I have, yeah.Did you ever go to my friend guy Webster's the other side. And it's very freeing to do that. And there's a kind of anonymity and also a kind of feeling like, well, if I have a credit cardinal, I could keep going. I could keep going. And it's that sort of Jack Kerouac. I could keep going, and I could find a motel somewhere. I love that. I did a big drive, not on a motorcycle, but in a truck. I did a big drive two weeks ago, and I went up the five, and I pulled into a truck stop, and I stayed at an inn that's right there on the truck stop. And I asked them, is there any place I could get a bite to eat? And they said, yeah, there's a restaurant right in there. So I went in, and I sat at the bar, because I'm alone. And all these guys came over and sat next to me, and they all work in agriculture. And they were all like, you know, at first they were asking me, why are you here?Yeah, yeah.And I said, this is my hangout spot. Which it wasn't, but I said, I love it here. I love this truck stop. But I hung out.What made you say, okay, I'm gonna.I had a deskroom, but I wanted to get, I had a destination up in San Francisco, but I wanted to stop halfway. I didn't want to do the whole drive. And so I just kind of halfway said, hey, there's a truck stop. And I pulled in, and because I saw that there was a, what looked like, uh, it looked like a spanish mission, but it had been built to look like a spanish mission in 1962. That's what it looked like. And, um, I don't know, hung out, ended up talking to all these people and then really got into this conversation about water usage and, like, what they're worried about, which is, why does la get all the water? We want the water.Yeah.And I was listening to them and we had a really great conversation. And then I said, guys, I gotta go. And they're like, you got to speak for us, Conan. Speak for us. And I said, I'm not a, I'm a comedian. No one's going to care what I say about water usage in the Central Valley. But.And besides, you think ag takes too much water? You can say it.Well, yeah, I wish you were there, you know, I wish you were there with me. Yeah, no, but I am. Here's what I am. You remember, I become whatever I am. So if I'm with a group of people saying, you know, we got to save water, I'm like, you bet we do. I mean, we got to keep the water HERe in the sort of.You bet we do, fellas, this is my two cent. I think your guiding principle is to be kind. I think you're one of the kindest people I've ever met.Oh, Jesus.And it comes ACROss even when you're, you know, doing comedy and all over the place.You are.You really are kind, gentleman, and I.Think that's really a nice thing to say.That's true.Now I feel like I have to live up to that, and I won't. Like, I always think that's a Thing you put on people and then they're like, I mean, there's gonna be a photograph of me slapping a nun tomorrow.It is a conversation, andrew. I'm sorry.Well, I'm thrilled. I have to say. Everyone here in the building, and I say this with great annoyance, gets all excited. Ted and Woody are coming. And then I open up the refrigerator here at my company, and there's three shelves of the refrigerator that say, for Ted and WOODY, special yogurts, weird fruits. I've never heard of a book in the refrigerator about oceans. It has to be kept 44 degrees. But no, you guys, it is not a task to sit down with you guys and shoot the shit. It's a real joy. It's really fun.Good.And I'm just. I'm happy you guys know who I am. Seriously. That's the place I'm coming from.We know who our boss is, that's for sure.Yeah, that's right. Sit up straight, hippie.It really has.And no more. No more flip. No more flip flop.What is with these chairs? But anyway.I can't.It just.Naturally, you are the most relaxed looking human being I've ever seen in my life.Many thanks to Conan for making our day. And don't forget to watch his new show, Conan O'Brien must go. All four episodes are out now on the Mac streaming service. That's it for this episode. Thank you, Woody. And special thanks to our friends at Team Coco. If you enjoy this episode, please send it to someone you love. Subscribe to our feed and leave us a five star Apple podcast rating if you're feeling extra nice. We'll have more for you next week. Where everybody knows your name.You've been listening to where everybody knows your name with Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson sometimes. The show is produced by me, Nick Liao. Executive producers are Adam Sachs, Colin Anderson, Jeff Ross and myself. Sara Fedorovich is our supervising producer. Our senior producer is Matt Apodaca. Engineering and mixing by Joanna Samuel with support from Eduardo Perez. Research by Alyssa Grahl. Talent booking by Paula Davis and Gina Bautista. Our theme music is by Woody Harrelson, Anthony Genn, Mary Steen Urgent and John Osborne. Special thanks to Willie Navarre. We'll have more for you. See you next time. Where everybody knows your name.Consumer cellular offers the same fast, reliable nationwide coverage without the big wireless cost freedom calls. Sign up with consumer cellular@consumercellular.com Ted 50 and use promo code Ted 50 to save $50. Terms and conditions apply.

I have. And I kind of ran the place while I was in college. And as I was getting out of college, there was this pipeline that was starting where people in LA and New York Saturday Night Live was saying, hey, we got Jim Downey from SNL for SNL. Is there anyone else that could be good at SNL? And Jim, Danny would say, well, you should, maybe George Meyer, maybe, you know. And so there was nothing available at SNL, but my writing partner and I came out here, got a job at a show called not necessarily the news. And it's the same thing. You were saYing, woody, you can't get a job in writing if you're not in the WGA. You can't be in the WGA if you don't have a writing job. And suddenly, and there was this show that said, we'll give you a writing job for a couple of weeks, and if you make the cut, you can stay.

And it got us into the WGA, and we got to stay for, like, two years. And the first thing I did on my first day was called the groundlings and say, because I knew I wanted to get on stage and said, I want to do improv. And they said, we're all full up. But there's a class in Midtown, in Hollywood, on La Cienega, and it's at the Coronet Theater, and a woman named Cynthia Sageti teaches it. And you literally just put, like, a $20 bill into a bowl when you come in and you take this improv class. And the first day I'm there, I meet another person who's just out of college, who's really funny, and she. And I click right away, and she says, hi, I'm Lisa Kudrow. And I go, hi, I'm Conan O'Brien. And we become best friends. And I start writing tv by day, doing improv at night, and one thing starts to lead to another. But it's always been fascinating to me that I went to this college specifically because I had kind of said, that's not gonna. Comedy's fun. You don't make your living at it. So that's why I decided to get serious and go to this college, which immediately, the second I get there, foot.

Trunn on the wall dumps me into.

This track where I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be, writing stuff and getting to perform some. And it was just. It was magical.

How did you pay the rent, as it were, during those years?

Well, we got a writing job right away, so the rent. The writing would pay the rent. And we were getting, you know, we were getting scale but writers Guild scale, when you're 22 and it's your first job, is fantastic. And also, I had a $380 a month apartment on Cochrane street in Hollywood. It was rent controlled. And I drove a 1973 Plymouth valiant that I had bought from some surfer dudes down in a very sketchy part of Venice beach. And it was a car that, when you turned it off, it's called dieseling.

It goes.

So if by chance I did get a date, I'd pick her up in this car that looks like a car that they drove on dragnet. Yeah, it's really just an old lady car, but it was kind of in good condition, and I thought, this is cool and kind of a meta way. Right, ladies? No, but they would. If I got a date and they would go somewhere with me, I'd be the suave guy that wanted to run around and get the door for them. The car would diesel, and the girl would be like, is that a beautiful. Just leave it alone. Leave it alone. In those early, early years, I was so hungry to get where I thought I needed to go, and I didn't even know where that was. So it's like a salmon doesn't know it's swimming upstream to spawn. It just knows it has to go against the current in this direction, that's all. Because there's some tiny piece of microscopic zinc in its brain that says, and that's how it felt to me. I was very, very driven. So there was. I didn't sit around a lot thinking about, am I going to have a family?

That's the healthiest way to do it, because I feel sorry for people who just want to be famous as opposed to, no, I just have to. And I don't even know why.

Well, that's the culture now. Cause I run into a. I'm sure both of you have, but I run into a lot of people over the years that have said, hey, I want to talk to you about how you got to do what you got to do. And I'd say, well, tell me, you know, do you write comedy? Do you like to perform? No. I'd be like, oh, well, do you act? No, they just want to be. And I used to. I used to say back in the eighties and nineties, well, no, you need to learn your craft, and you have to keep working at it. And I've been proven wrong.

It's called influences.

Yeah, you don't have to. I mean, it's just. But I still think that. I still think we're not wrong. I still think it's not. You want to find the thing that you do that gives you a real feeling of satisfaction and joy, and I don't think taking selfies 10,000 times a day can give you that.

Well, hold on, hold on. Does fame irritate you? How do you deal with everyone knows who you are kind of thing?

You know, it's funny, I have. I think I'm part irish Boston politician. Cause I'm around people that are. I have. It's not a choice. I just am fortunate that I am very comfortable, and I think it does help to be tall or big, but you're looking down on people, and in every possible way looking down on those peasants. I wasn't even talking about height. I really just. No, I feel when people come up to me and say, hey, Conan, first of all, what's different is we should acknowledge that the two of you have made your careers being these other people. And I've never done that. I've done sketches where I'm someone else, but it's a cartoon. It's not even a. I'm not an actor. I don't even understand that process. So I'm just myself. So when I'm walking somewhere and someone says, hey, Conan, I go, yeah, what's up? And then they say, oh, I didn't expect to see you. And I say, well, I didn't expect to see you either. And they whatever. And then I. What I have. I like to talk to people, and I'm okay with it. And sometimes a little too okay with it, meaning there have had times where people got their selfie and they're ready to move on, and I ask them more questions, and they say, I really have to go.

It's like, you know, so I I'm. Oh, I'm very much okay with it. And I like to normalize it.

Yeah.

And I think the most normal thing to do is ask people about themselves.

Yeah.

And it doesn't have to be long, but just literally say, like, oh, thanks a lot. And what's your name? Yeah, you know, my name is Bill. Bill, it's a pleasure to meet you. And it's real. It's just real. And. And I like them to know that the person they hear on the podcast or saw over 30 years of clips, that that's me. That is me. It's no big deal.

And I do think you have a responsibility to at least match their. I mean, if they're rude and assholes, you can not. But, I mean, if they're genuine people, you need to match their energy, their excitement.

Yes.

Their appreciation.

It's mirror what's being brought to you. And like I say, if it is a very different thing, I think, you know, there's no one's. If someone goes into a restaurant and Jack Nicholson's sitting there, Jack Nicholson has carefully curated this. Jack Nicholson don't come up to me. Yeah. And if they do go up to him and he says, fuck off, he's just made their day, they're like, jack Nicholson just told me to fuck off. Well, I'm not. I hate to break it to anybody. I'm not Jack Nicholson. They don't. They don't. They haven't seen me on, like, a 50 foot screen being an iconic character. They. I've literally been in their bedroom. And some of them say, I watched you all through high school or college or medical school, and you were on midway tonight and nothing was on, and you were on. And then. And then I didn't like you at first, but I got used to you, and blah, blah, I built up a tolerance. And then there's this, like, oh, this is. But this is. This is. There's no way. If I said, hey, fuck you, it would be a betrayal of the whole thing.

And it's also not how I feel.

I had to go make a speech at Cornell about oceans, which is something I do periodically. And I used to always start my ocean advocacy speeches with. I know it's strange that the guy who played Sam Malone is going to be talking to you about oceans. And I did this. I did this in Cornell. This is about five years ago, and I saw this total blank. You know, I played Sam Malone, and people are looking at me, and I went to. Okay, let me back up. In the latter half of the past century, I was on a show called Cheers. You know, it's what you used to base your identity in a bad way, but nevertheless, you did all of a sudden vanishes because people don't know about. It was wonderfully, in a good way.

Humble do is bring up the good place. And then you're like, so, thank God. You need to keep. You know, it's.

You have to keep current.

You keep resetting what you're known for. So, you know, it's funny how my whole identity for 30 years was that guy on television with the hair that looked like a dessert. And then suddenly, I have young people coming up to me, or even older people that are like, this podcast. I really love this podcast, and I really enjoy it. And then I find that there's some stuff on YouTube, where you have a desk, you think? Okay. Yeah, I don't. Yeah, yeah, that's okay. Whatever. It's all good.

Yeah.

As long as, you know, it's. They're still imbibing. Whatever. They're still finding some value in what I'm doing, just in a different way.

Right. Plus, you never go away. Now, on the Internet, you can see everything anytime you want.

My early work in pornography.

I've seen it. I have seen it. I was impressed, Woody. What did you think? We were both watching together?

What's that?

That big bandage he had wrapped around.

My nickname was Ace. That was Ace. And people thought then they saw why I was called Ace. They were all disappointed. He has a very average penis wrapped up in an ace bandage. That's why he's called Ace.

I prefer to leave it in a roll because it.

Then I understand.

Okay.

I don't think we need to get into it.

Segwaying.

Yeah.

Hey, I do have a segue that has nothing to do with what we just said. Is that a segue still? No. Sure.

Anything is whatever we want it to be, man.

I think you live this and you demonstrate it throughout this entire conversation, and you demonstrate it when you're on air doing whatever you do. But what is your guiding principle in life? What do you hinge your kind of moral stance in life on?

Oh, wow.

He went there.

He went.

But you're leading a purposeful life, and you are. There's a kind of.

I was going to say acquire real estate, but now that sounds hollow. Hang on to it and then only let it go when the price is very high. I will say I have parents who are still with us at 94 and 91, and it was paramount to them that we're be good people. And that was something that was sort of drilled into us. And I know that that can sound corny, because I'm not always a good person. Nobody is. But I do think if, when presented with a situation, if I can discern what I think the right thing to do is, this is kind of a good place, you know, episode. But if I can discern what the kind of the thing that is probably the right thing to do is, I will not always, but more often than not, try to do that thing. And that's just not me. That is parents drilling stuff into me at an early age, and so. And people can say, oh, that sounds really noble, but there's a side to it that's not noble, which is, I think, I hate the feeling I get when I've upset someone or hurt their feelings.

It really bothers me. And I think I hate that feeling. Or if I feel I sold someone out, I hate that feeling so much that it's pain avoidance. I'm working backwards, you know what I mean? So it's not like I'm a great person. It really is. I'm trying not to have that terrible feeling over the years. I remembered once, I think I made a joke about Aaron's spelling, something I said, something kind of just derogatory about Aaron spelling shows on my monolog. And a couple days later, I got a letter, and it was from Aaron Spelling.

Hurt.

And he was hurt. And I felt like I'd been kicked in the stomach. And I don't know Aaron spelling, but he basically just said, I really enjoy your show. And I was watching with my family, and that really bummed me out. And I was devastated. I mean, I felt terrible because I don't want to make somebody feel badly.

Did you respond?

I did. I wrote him a letter and apologized and said the truth, which is I do a volume business. I'm out there every night, and I filled a name into a slot, which is what I do, and you got dinged. And it's. That's not an excuse, but that's what happened and didn't come from a personal place. And I'm really sorry that that happened, and I'm sorry that you saw it because I know. I apologize.

That anger.

And he called me so ecstatic. And then I got the impression, wait a minute. He's writing angry letters every day. I'm just the first guy. Because he was too happy. He was like, you wrote me back, you grand son of a bitch. You're the best ever. Let's get it to so. But anyway, it's working backwards from. And I noticed it, too, in performance. I hate the feeling of being in front of people and they're not amused so much. It makes me sick to my stomach that if I find out there's an event I'm supposed to do, I prepare a lot and I ask a lot of questions and I try and think of things and I ask people, is this funny? Is that funny? And it's, you could say, well, that's very noble that you're so hardworking. No, no. It is avoidance of a bad, terrible feeling. I don't want that feeling. So I'm going to do these things to minimize my chances that I'll have them right.

Hey, this is going to sound like a change of subject, but can we talk about aging and things that are diminishing, actually. Why don't you talk amongst yourselves while I go pee?

Oh, I see what he did there. I see what he did.

That's well done.

That was very well done.

Now. And I can. You know, I feel like he's kind of dominated the conversation.

I feel. I mean, to be honest with you, Woody, I came here to talk to you. I told you, you destroyed it in triangle sadness. Absolutely destroyed it. And you are. Whenever you show up, one of my favorite movies, as I told you, is old. No country for old men. And I loved you in that movie so much, and I talked specifically about that scene. So I was geeking out with you, and then I find that fucking Ted Danson's part of this whole thing.

Yeah.

And I'm sure it happens to all the guests.

I really see it.

He goes on and on about. When I was speaking, Cornell, about the ocean, I. Who signs up for that lecture?

That's a real self aggrandizing. You know, I care about the environment. Okay, great.

Sure. Yeah, I get it. There's the ocean. To take care of the ocean. I do. You know, if the ocean doesn't like all that plastic we throw in it, it should expel it to the tides. There's an order to things. So, I don't know. I was looking forward to him urinating, and I could see him.

Yeah, yeah.

I.

Very uncomfortable for the last 20 minutes, because I think he's not just urinating. Being honest with you right now, I think a lot's happening.

Yeah. Because of that whole earlier discussion.

Yeah. But I'm just happy to have. Now, finally, it's two guys who can wear a similar vintage.

Two. Well, real men.

Real men. Oh, here he is. No, here he comes. But you know what? He's back. And you know what? The oceans are sacred. And if we don't care for them.

Oh, wait a minute.

I mean, they are. If you think about it, without the oceans, it's all. All just one continent. But with oceans, suddenly we have continents because they divide up the space of the land.

That way we can, you know, war with each other and all the fun.

Yeah.

This is fascinating conversation. I'm sorry I missed it.

No, no, no. It's. I don't think it would interest you. We were discussing our passion for the ocean while you were urinating. But now, Woody, I mean, do you care about. Do you care about the world at all? Because I'm curious. I'm going to drill down on Woody here for a second. Ted seems to care about things and think about more than himself. You seem like someone who's just devoted your whole life to self pleasure, just living in the moment. Good times. And I want to. I demand.

I think that sums it up pretty good.

No, that's not true. I know we shouldn't be doing it, but let me pick your brain about podcasts. Woody and I being new at this. Do you sit there and think, wait, Mike, I don't want my kids to hear me be this way or tell this story. Do you or my mom and my dad, do you censor yourself?

Not really. I don't. And I'll tell you, and this is going to sound like a joke, but it's not. My children have no interest in listening to my podcast, and I take that as a healthy sign. So they will never hear this because they care about themselves and their lives. And they. I am a figure, you know, like a sitcom dad is always a figure of ridicule. I am a sitcom dad. When I go home, they're not interested. I'll say something, and there's a lot of eye rolling and. Yeah, dad, that's what it's called. A gif. No, it's gif. You know, whatever. I'm the idiot. There's a laugh track. And my parents don't. They don't consume podcasts at their age, and so you can say what you want. Yeah.

I mean, unless it's about spelling. But you don't want to insult him.

No, I feel badly about that. He made some good shows and then some other shows, you know, but whatever. He was a good man. And who am I to say things?

What do you do when you have a guest that's like pulling teeth? Because this has been a real challenge today for me and will, to be.

Honest, I know this is the most.

Taxing challenge I am withholding.

Oh, my God.

What do you do with people, though, seriously?

I just start. It's so funny because we would. I learned this from years and years of doing the late night show, but we would. It hasn't really happened on the podcast because on the podcast, you don't make as many. You know, the real challenge was do a late night show, and I did. Ended up doing, like, whatever it is, 4000 hours of broadcasting, three guests a night, or sometimes not even music, sometimes three talk guests a night. And you do the math and you realize there were so many times I was out there with the 7th lead on a WB show that you've never heard of that lasted three months, named Saz Bickleregh. And I'm like, here he is. And he's 19. He's had no life experience, and he plays Chiz. So here you all know us. He's Chiz on. You better not Saz Beckler. And he would come out and he's just, you know, six weeks ago was working at whatever, polishing trays at Chipotle, and now he's sitting there and, yeah, sometimes lightning strikes. And this kid has an amazing thing say. But there's a lot of times where they've got absolutely nothing to say.

And so I would just start talking. And fortunately, a sidekick, Andy Richter, is really funny. And Andy would be sitting on the other side, and I'd be like, you know, Saz, it's funny because it says, you worked at Chipotle. Now, I was in Chipotle once, and I have to say. And then Andy would go, like, oh, don't get me started on Chipotle. And we would go. And Saz would be laughing, and then the whole thing would be over. And I'd say, saz, fantastic, you know, oh, no, you better not check it out on the WB. And everyone would applaud. And then my producer afterwards would say, you know, you were worried about him. I thought Sazh did pretty well. And I'd say, saz didn't say a fucking thing. He didn't say a fucking thing. Look at the fucking tape. It's me and Andy talking about Chipotle and big laughs and Saz just giggling along. But sure enough, people would be like, you know, I saw Saz. He's a raconteur. He's a real Richard Burton. So I would do a lot of talking that's kind of on cheers.

I used to think in the beginning, oh, you need to have the funny line. And then I realized, no, you don't need to be the one delivering the funny line. You need to stand next to the person who's doing the funny line, and.

You'Ll come across great.

And it's what I learned watching the greats. I learned watching Jack Benny and Johnny Carson, who learned it from Jack Benny. And Jack Benny learned it from someone whose name will never know because they existed, you know, before it could be recorded.

Pre podcast.

Yeah, pre podcast. But I swear to God, some of my best moments that people really love, I'm reacting by doing very little. So someone next to me is telling, being very inappropriate, and the camera's on them, and they're going on and on, and it's a woman going on and on, and it's about this very sexual, sexy thing. And there's just a cut to me looking slightly constipated, and that gets a huge reaction. I didn't say anything. They just know. Yeah, they're uptight, Catholic. They know my part at a certain point, and they know that. So, yes, it's the person who I think it was. Someone once noticed in a script that Jack Benny, who was the biggest star in radio in the thirties and forties, and then a tv of fifties, I mean, massive star, someone went through his script and said, Jack, you don't have any of the laughs on tonight's show, episode. They went through and they looked at it and they said, jack, you don't have one laugh. And he went, my name's on the show. If the show is funny, who cares? And I always had that feeling that I love it when people would come on and Norm MacDonald and any of these iconic people would come on and destroy, you know, my job is to get out of the way.

Get the fuck out of the way. I'm here tomorrow night. Get out of the way. And only step in if I can be of help.

What is your, oh, I can really unplug. Where do you go with your family? You don't have to tell me the location, but do you get to go take your family and totally unplug everything you do?

Yeah, I love to go. I mean, to be honest with you, as I said, like, if I'm, you know, I'm not Michael Jackson or Taylor Swift, I'm one of those people who, people see me and they recognize me and they say hello and more time, very often say something nice to me and will want a selfie, and I'm more than happy to do it. And then I'm at Rei looking at the, you know, the canoe like anyone else and deciding whether or not I should buy it. I didn't. I didn't. I don't need a canoe. But it was a wasted trip. But I should have decided that before I went to Rei. But I really like, one of my favorite things to do is skiing. I love skiing because I just love being outside, and so I love to go skiing. And also, as you know, when you're skiing, like, you're just. No one cares. When you're skiing, no one cares. Do you know what I mean? They're like, oh, Conan's in line with.

Us, and you got goggles. And maybe that's Conan, maybe it's not.

No, my goggles say, I am Conan. I had the maze right across the. Yeah, I get very. If I'm not recognized, I get very ornery. So all my clothing makes it very clear. I'll tell you one thing I don't tell anybody, which is I do have a motorcycle, which I've had for years, and I just ride it, like, on back roads away from people. And I love that. And I have. I'm super try to be very safe about it, but I just stay away from. You know, I like to get outside Los Angeles and drive places where there aren't a lot of.

You don't ride it in the city?

No, I don't drive in the city. It's weird. I ride a bike in the city. Like a bicycle? Yeah, but I. But I don't. I'm. I don't know. I don't. I don't. I just feel like I'm. You know, it's too. I don't know. I've just not. I've decided I like back roads. I like. I like taking it way out.

Did you drive up to Ojai?

I have, yeah.

Did you ever go to my friend guy Webster's the other side. And it's very freeing to do that. And there's a kind of anonymity and also a kind of feeling like, well, if I have a credit cardinal, I could keep going. I could keep going. And it's that sort of Jack Kerouac. I could keep going, and I could find a motel somewhere. I love that. I did a big drive, not on a motorcycle, but in a truck. I did a big drive two weeks ago, and I went up the five, and I pulled into a truck stop, and I stayed at an inn that's right there on the truck stop. And I asked them, is there any place I could get a bite to eat? And they said, yeah, there's a restaurant right in there. So I went in, and I sat at the bar, because I'm alone. And all these guys came over and sat next to me, and they all work in agriculture. And they were all like, you know, at first they were asking me, why are you here?Yeah, yeah.And I said, this is my hangout spot. Which it wasn't, but I said, I love it here. I love this truck stop. But I hung out.What made you say, okay, I'm gonna.I had a deskroom, but I wanted to get, I had a destination up in San Francisco, but I wanted to stop halfway. I didn't want to do the whole drive. And so I just kind of halfway said, hey, there's a truck stop. And I pulled in, and because I saw that there was a, what looked like, uh, it looked like a spanish mission, but it had been built to look like a spanish mission in 1962. That's what it looked like. And, um, I don't know, hung out, ended up talking to all these people and then really got into this conversation about water usage and, like, what they're worried about, which is, why does la get all the water? We want the water.Yeah.And I was listening to them and we had a really great conversation. And then I said, guys, I gotta go. And they're like, you got to speak for us, Conan. Speak for us. And I said, I'm not a, I'm a comedian. No one's going to care what I say about water usage in the Central Valley. But.And besides, you think ag takes too much water? You can say it.Well, yeah, I wish you were there, you know, I wish you were there with me. Yeah, no, but I am. Here's what I am. You remember, I become whatever I am. So if I'm with a group of people saying, you know, we got to save water, I'm like, you bet we do. I mean, we got to keep the water HERe in the sort of.You bet we do, fellas, this is my two cent. I think your guiding principle is to be kind. I think you're one of the kindest people I've ever met.Oh, Jesus.And it comes ACROss even when you're, you know, doing comedy and all over the place.You are.You really are kind, gentleman, and I.Think that's really a nice thing to say.That's true.Now I feel like I have to live up to that, and I won't. Like, I always think that's a Thing you put on people and then they're like, I mean, there's gonna be a photograph of me slapping a nun tomorrow.It is a conversation, andrew. I'm sorry.Well, I'm thrilled. I have to say. Everyone here in the building, and I say this with great annoyance, gets all excited. Ted and Woody are coming. And then I open up the refrigerator here at my company, and there's three shelves of the refrigerator that say, for Ted and WOODY, special yogurts, weird fruits. I've never heard of a book in the refrigerator about oceans. It has to be kept 44 degrees. But no, you guys, it is not a task to sit down with you guys and shoot the shit. It's a real joy. It's really fun.Good.And I'm just. I'm happy you guys know who I am. Seriously. That's the place I'm coming from.We know who our boss is, that's for sure.Yeah, that's right. Sit up straight, hippie.It really has.And no more. No more flip. No more flip flop.What is with these chairs? But anyway.I can't.It just.Naturally, you are the most relaxed looking human being I've ever seen in my life.Many thanks to Conan for making our day. And don't forget to watch his new show, Conan O'Brien must go. All four episodes are out now on the Mac streaming service. That's it for this episode. Thank you, Woody. And special thanks to our friends at Team Coco. If you enjoy this episode, please send it to someone you love. Subscribe to our feed and leave us a five star Apple podcast rating if you're feeling extra nice. We'll have more for you next week. Where everybody knows your name.You've been listening to where everybody knows your name with Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson sometimes. The show is produced by me, Nick Liao. Executive producers are Adam Sachs, Colin Anderson, Jeff Ross and myself. Sara Fedorovich is our supervising producer. Our senior producer is Matt Apodaca. Engineering and mixing by Joanna Samuel with support from Eduardo Perez. Research by Alyssa Grahl. Talent booking by Paula Davis and Gina Bautista. Our theme music is by Woody Harrelson, Anthony Genn, Mary Steen Urgent and John Osborne. Special thanks to Willie Navarre. We'll have more for you. See you next time. Where everybody knows your name.Consumer cellular offers the same fast, reliable nationwide coverage without the big wireless cost freedom calls. Sign up with consumer cellular@consumercellular.com Ted 50 and use promo code Ted 50 to save $50. Terms and conditions apply.

the other side. And it's very freeing to do that. And there's a kind of anonymity and also a kind of feeling like, well, if I have a credit cardinal, I could keep going. I could keep going. And it's that sort of Jack Kerouac. I could keep going, and I could find a motel somewhere. I love that. I did a big drive, not on a motorcycle, but in a truck. I did a big drive two weeks ago, and I went up the five, and I pulled into a truck stop, and I stayed at an inn that's right there on the truck stop. And I asked them, is there any place I could get a bite to eat? And they said, yeah, there's a restaurant right in there. So I went in, and I sat at the bar, because I'm alone. And all these guys came over and sat next to me, and they all work in agriculture. And they were all like, you know, at first they were asking me, why are you here?

Yeah, yeah.

And I said, this is my hangout spot. Which it wasn't, but I said, I love it here. I love this truck stop. But I hung out.

What made you say, okay, I'm gonna.

I had a deskroom, but I wanted to get, I had a destination up in San Francisco, but I wanted to stop halfway. I didn't want to do the whole drive. And so I just kind of halfway said, hey, there's a truck stop. And I pulled in, and because I saw that there was a, what looked like, uh, it looked like a spanish mission, but it had been built to look like a spanish mission in 1962. That's what it looked like. And, um, I don't know, hung out, ended up talking to all these people and then really got into this conversation about water usage and, like, what they're worried about, which is, why does la get all the water? We want the water.

Yeah.

And I was listening to them and we had a really great conversation. And then I said, guys, I gotta go. And they're like, you got to speak for us, Conan. Speak for us. And I said, I'm not a, I'm a comedian. No one's going to care what I say about water usage in the Central Valley. But.

And besides, you think ag takes too much water? You can say it.

Well, yeah, I wish you were there, you know, I wish you were there with me. Yeah, no, but I am. Here's what I am. You remember, I become whatever I am. So if I'm with a group of people saying, you know, we got to save water, I'm like, you bet we do. I mean, we got to keep the water HERe in the sort of.

You bet we do, fellas, this is my two cent. I think your guiding principle is to be kind. I think you're one of the kindest people I've ever met.

Oh, Jesus.

And it comes ACROss even when you're, you know, doing comedy and all over the place.

You are.

You really are kind, gentleman, and I.

Think that's really a nice thing to say.

That's true.

Now I feel like I have to live up to that, and I won't. Like, I always think that's a Thing you put on people and then they're like, I mean, there's gonna be a photograph of me slapping a nun tomorrow.

It is a conversation, andrew. I'm sorry.

Well, I'm thrilled. I have to say. Everyone here in the building, and I say this with great annoyance, gets all excited. Ted and Woody are coming. And then I open up the refrigerator here at my company, and there's three shelves of the refrigerator that say, for Ted and WOODY, special yogurts, weird fruits. I've never heard of a book in the refrigerator about oceans. It has to be kept 44 degrees. But no, you guys, it is not a task to sit down with you guys and shoot the shit. It's a real joy. It's really fun.

Good.

And I'm just. I'm happy you guys know who I am. Seriously. That's the place I'm coming from.

We know who our boss is, that's for sure.

Yeah, that's right. Sit up straight, hippie.

It really has.

And no more. No more flip. No more flip flop.

What is with these chairs? But anyway.

I can't.

It just.

Naturally, you are the most relaxed looking human being I've ever seen in my life.

Many thanks to Conan for making our day. And don't forget to watch his new show, Conan O'Brien must go. All four episodes are out now on the Mac streaming service. That's it for this episode. Thank you, Woody. And special thanks to our friends at Team Coco. If you enjoy this episode, please send it to someone you love. Subscribe to our feed and leave us a five star Apple podcast rating if you're feeling extra nice. We'll have more for you next week. Where everybody knows your name.

You've been listening to where everybody knows your name with Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson sometimes. The show is produced by me, Nick Liao. Executive producers are Adam Sachs, Colin Anderson, Jeff Ross and myself. Sara Fedorovich is our supervising producer. Our senior producer is Matt Apodaca. Engineering and mixing by Joanna Samuel with support from Eduardo Perez. Research by Alyssa Grahl. Talent booking by Paula Davis and Gina Bautista. Our theme music is by Woody Harrelson, Anthony Genn, Mary Steen Urgent and John Osborne. Special thanks to Willie Navarre. We'll have more for you. See you next time. Where everybody knows your name.

Consumer cellular offers the same fast, reliable nationwide coverage without the big wireless cost freedom calls. Sign up with consumer cellular@consumercellular.com Ted 50 and use promo code Ted 50 to save $50. Terms and conditions apply.