I want to know what it's like to be funny at 75, 76. I want to know what it's like to do that when I'm 80.

If you surround yourself with funny people. I mean, I'm good friends with Bill Hader, who could be my son. I'm very good friends with John Mulaney, but when we're together, there's no sense of age at all.

Hi. Welcome back to where everybody knows your name. So I would be lying if I said I wasn't a teensy bit nervous for you to hear today's episode. As you've heard me say before, Woody is going to be popping in and out, depending on his work schedule. And today was the first time I was riding solo. I am very excited, though, to introduce our guest, Martin Short. It almost seems silly to give you his credits because everyone truly does know his name. mean, I met Larry when I was a cast member on SNL, and he was a writer, and he write about three scenes of a week, and they'd never select them, so. And then he got in. It became a Seinfeld episode where he got in a big fight with Dick Eversole and quit after the if the audience didn't please him or something, you're idiots. Yeah. And walk off.Walk off.Yeah. How stupid are you? Can I backtrack to you? Meeting Nancy? It was godspell, right?She was, yeah. She had now been running. We opened in June, and there were two understudies. And then in October, she had worked with Victor. She had done this show called Canadian Rock Theater, where they basically did Godspell songs and Jesus Christ supersongs, and they Jesus Superstar, and they toured the states and worked in Vegas and that kind of thing. Anyway, she auditioned and got in as the understudy. So she was now the understudy to Gilda, who I was now living with. And that's when I first met Nancy. And she was so beautiful. She scared us all because she had an antique clothing store. Also because she, I think, smuggled in clothes from buffalo or something. And she would come in long, Joni Mitchell blonde hair with. Wearing kind of a velvet cape, and sign it, oh, no one's sick. And she'd sign in, and all the guys. Hi.Hi, Nancy.And that was it. And then about. So that would be like, 72 and 74. Gilda and I broke up. We always were breaking up. And.And nothing with Nancy? No glimmer in your eye? Nothing?Well, yeah, but I thought she was out of my league, right? And then. And I love Gilda. And then. But we kind of. It seemed like we were kaput. And then the next day, I'm at the pilot restaurant bar, and there was Nancy. And we got talking, and she said, we made let's play tennis tomorrow. And that was it. I remember Gilda phoning him, saying, you're with Nancy. We're supposed to get back together. She said, yeah. You know, it was fast. I thought it was like, I'm 24. I'm a single boy. One day. One day I was single.What was your wooing technique? Do you make them laugh and then, you know, you're in Orlando?I remember we played tennis, and Nancy had just broken up with a boyfriend who was a rocker. And I remember that tennis kind of. Hey, have you ever tried a comedian? Something like that? Not good. Not good. And then I remember the first night we made love, we checked into the. Which is now. Which was then became the Four Seasons hotel in Toronto. Was the Hyatt then. And I was 24, and I looked about 16, and Nancy was 21 and. No, 22. Shoot. We were a year and a half apart, and we checked into the. Basically, the Four Seasons. I was wearing cutoff jeans and a t shirt, and Nancy was wearing cut off jeans and, like, a halter top. And I said, my wife and I would like a room, please. And the guy behind the desk burst out laughing. He just burst out laughing.That's fantastic. And from that moment on, you lived together.Yeah.For 30 years? No.Married 30, lived together six.Right?Yeah.Wow.And never a packed bag. Never. You know, to hell with you. No.Oh, God. What did I read? Nancy asked you something. That was. It was a moment of. You guys were pissed or something.Yeah.But you weren't being communicative.So she said, let me talk to Ed Grimley. Yes. Yeah. And because Ed was always.That was not a bit.Oh, yeah, no, that was always a bit. We would have fights all the time, you know. I remember she'd say, okay, why are you screaming? I said, okay. Yeah, okay, I'm screaming. Yeah, I'm screaming. But let me ask you something. If you're standing at the edge of a cliff and someone pushes you off the cliff as you're going down, you go, oh, but is it. Isn't it the person who pushed you off the cliff? Isn't it their also fault? But sometimes she always knew that Ed would always be on her side. I said, nan, you're wrong in this. She said, I don't want to talk. Let me talk to Ed. Oh, Miss Nancy, how stupid is he? You must say he doesn't understand you. And I would. That would diffuse the argument.But did you also allow that to actually be more truthful? Ed could be more truthful.No, no, it was time to.No, it was a bit.If it was a real, you know, real argument, then it wouldn't. Then it would be discussed. But this is now like a nice, you know, like kind of diffusing Edward. Diffuse. It's like Matlock, you know.No, what does that reference? I mean, I know Matlock, but I'm.Thinking of Will forte. When he would Matlock, who was he? He was always getting the bombs.MacGruber.MacGruber. Thank you very much, Mac.Goober.Edit that out. Make me sound hipper.So then you were the cute couple? Married couple. Until when did you decide to have kids?19. You know, 81.And what were you doing professionally at that point?I was in St. Tv. 82.Right.And it seemed more settled.Right. And your first child?Catherine.Catherine.And then Oliver.Right.And then baby Henry, who are now. They are now. I now have three grandsons.Oh, that's amazing. How old?Theo will be four in January. And then Grayson is two and four months, and Campbell just turned two.It's so amazing. Mary's daughter, Lily, who, you know, has three granddaughters. 1210 and six.Unbelievable.It is unbelievable. It's like I was, I don't know, twelve years ago, whatever. I was 63 or something. I was just starting to get a smidge grumpy about aging. Just, you know, I'm not crazy about this arthritis or whatever was sitting in. And then the first grandchild arrives and it's like, oh, fuck it, I'm in. I don't care anything anymore about my little this and that. I am so want to be around this. It's so magical.Absolutely. It's absolutely and they love you. They love you, these grandkids, because you represent this kind of. You know, I love explaining to my grandkids that, see, Oliver, I'm his dad, and so papa is, you know, their eyes go big, you know.Yeah. And you do get to hand them back. That's a cliche, but it is true. You don't have to be. You're not on the front lines as much as kids are, which gives you that distance to be almost. I found myself almost like an anthropologist, going, oh, my God, look at this. Their brains now are able to do this and do that. And when you're in it as a father, as a parent, it's just too immediate to have any distance. It's one of our great joys. And Mary always, when she tells people how amazing it is to be a grandmother, she can almost see in their eyes if they're not grandparents yet. Well, didn't you enjoy your kids? You're so in love with your grandkids. No, you can love your kids through the roof, but there's something different and wonderful.And then I know couples who are just saying, oh, my, I'm just dying to become grandparents. My kids won't have kids yet.I sometimes say, magic wand, what are you going to be doing? What would you like to be doing five years from now? Do you have. Do you have. You have done so much.I kind of, you know, I've always led an eclectic career. It's very canadian, you know.Meaning what?Well, I mean, in the sense that you just worked. You do. You could do Shakespeare on CBC in the afternoon and then do a cabaret show. What's a nice country like you doing in a state like this at night or Second City?There was no right or wrong career.No, it was just. Do I bring a suit? There was no, you know, is it good for your career? No, I'm in television. No, I'm in film.Right.It was just much good. So it was like university. It's like England, too.Yeah.And so I have continued that, you know, so, you know, I'll go from Broadway to television to film, and it's great because when they don't want you anymore in film, you say, oh, then I'll do television, and then they don't watch in television. Well, then I'll do Broadway. Oh, they watch you in film again. And it. But it makes for a very interesting career. So I, you know, my health is very good. I am. In five years, I would like to think I'm still doing all this. I don't think actors should retire.No.You know, I think that's. I don't know how great retirement is for anyone if they love what they do. If you hate your job, then great retire. But Laura Michaels, for example, is a big believer in not retiring. Phil Hines, who did lighting for. I did a summer series with Maya Rudolph a few years ago. He was in his, like, 93 or something, and he had done SNL from the beginning and he was still lighting our show.That's my dream. I want to find out what it's like to be. I am not stupid comparison, but I am basically an actor, character actor, who's been blessed to be around amazing writers who are very, very funny people. And I can be funny with their amazing, funny words if I am on my game. So to say I want to be funny is talking to you feels like. I want to say, I do understand that.I'm a character actor is what we are.Yeah, we are. But anyway, I want to know what it's like to be funny at 75, 76. I'm about to turn 76, and I'm about to work with Mike Shore, who did the good place.Yeah.And I can't wait to see what that's like. I want the full money. I want to know what it's like to do that when I'm 80.Yeah. I think that if you, you know, age is such an odd last hurrah of ageism is the last hurrah that hasn't been broken yet. But if you surround yourself with funny people. I mean, I'm good friends with Bill Hader, who could be my son. I'm very good friends with John Mulaney, who could be my son. But when we're together, there's no sense of age at all.No, I find myself. I don't compete with my fellow actors. I compete with people in their thirties for some cause. I know it's hopeless, but it will amuse me hugely. So I will always try to fuck with John Krasinski and challenge him to impossible foot races and whatever. Just the joy of being around people younger than you and you do reach a status I don't know if you have, where people are starting to take care of me just a little bit.I haven't reached that point. No one cares less.I can understand why, but it's like I can see people going, oh, okay, all right. Can I help? Let me lift that. Let me lift that. And at first it's like that competitive. Hey, I'm still on the race here, you know.Oh, yeah. Like on an airplane. Yeah. I'll have you. I'll get that for you, Mister Shure.Thank you.Thank you.Yeah, I've eased into it and kind of enjoy it.See, Steve always says. Martin always says that the time he'd contemplate retiring is when his voice becomes all quivery. Then, you know, that's different. But when you still look and sound like Steve Martin.Yeah.You're going nowhere.How are you in public? How are you walking around the world in public with your fame? Celebrity.Oh, I've gone through all different phases. You know, sometimes people come in, can I have a selfie? I'm sorry, I don't do that. Why? What? Because I don't.Five minutes later, you're still on this.And then I realized, oh, just take the self. Put it. Hi. Thank you. How are you doing? Smile. Thank you.No, takes much longer.Way longer.Yeah.And what's it about, anyway?Yeah.You know.Yeah. So you don't sneak. Well, how do you travel? Just effortlessly wherever you want. Commercial.No, I'm kidding. No, I just kind of keep moving.Yeah.You know, it's interesting. I'll wear, like, a hat and sunglasses and stuff, and then I'll go to this. Say, do you have a New York Times? And my voice gives me a voice.It's the voice.It's the voice.You have an opportunity to have dinner with, hang with, whatever.Who would it be, you know? I mean, I always want to have dinner with Marlon Brando. He's not here. You know.Why? Just to.Oh, because such a. Just to be in that presence of that genius. Be insane. I'm trying to think. I mean, I've been, you know, I had a dinner a couple years ago with the Obamas, and that was, like, on a wish list. That was spectacular.Did you get past the oh, my gosh part and really get to kind of quietly hang?I got to ask him. I remember I asked him at one point, how do you. There's always a fire somewhere in the world. How do you turn that off? How do you do it?What did he say?That's a good question.It is a good question.And it was a struggle at the beginning, but that's kind of like a guy that I'll tell you who I knew for 25 years, and I always pinch myself that I can't believe I'm with him. In his company was Mike Nichols.I read that. Yeah.That was just. Oh, I don't know.To hire you.No, no, I never worked with him. I just knew him socially. And in the eighties, probably the premiere of three amigos or something like that. But he was always so funny to me. And again, I'm that eleven year old listening to Nichols and May on Broadway. Or twelve. And I've said this before, but it's just. It exactly showed how fast he was. One time we were at an art opening and he said, where are you staying? I said, the Essex house. He said, no, but really. And what I loved about Mike is that that would make him laugh. He knew that was funny.Yeah. You just mentioned three amigos.Yeah.Is right up there with one of my favorite funny movies. Where'd you shoot that? In Mexico or.No, no, in Tucson. Tucson, Arizona. And then Simi Valley.Right. It was that perfect combination of outrageously silly, funny, and then the bad guys were brilliant.Brilliant. Well, that was kind of. That was kind of John Landis making it look like the magnificent seven. Well, at the same time. So some of those. And Elmer Bernstein doing the score. Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom, bom, bom. You know, making it like a big classic. The, you know, fifties movie.Yeah.With Cinemascope. But then with Steve's writing. That was written by Steve, Randy Newman and Lorne.Wow.Yeah.Randy Newman as in dialog? Nothing.He came up. I think he came up. Steve would. Might correct me on this. I believe he came up with a singing bush. Randy. Right. And wrote those fabulous songs. Arizona Moon keeps shining, you know.Wow, Marty, I really appreciate sitting down with you.Like delight. I'll do anything. I'll even drive to, you know.Yeah. Why? Why did you come do a podcast? You're not. You don't have anything you're pitching.No, it's just you. It was you.I wish we had gotten to this right away.No, it's true. You know, I adore you, Ted. I have for years.I do and I am. I apologize for all the times I have. You've ignored me, too high on a pedestal and did my bullshit, who am I routine. And I have done that to you.First of all, no one believes. That's what one. You know.I know. And it's false. It is totally false. Totally. My false ego is.There's a big ego. Yeah, it's you and Donald. You're right up there together. Interchangeable.Can we cut that one too? You know, it is such a privilege to be able to sit down and talk with people like this for an hour, an hour and a half. I am so grateful that I got to spend this time with Marty Short. Thank you, Marty, for being here. Be sure to watch only murders in the building. And Woody, I miss you. I will see you soon. If you like this week's show, please tell a friend and subscribe and leave us an Apple podcast rating if you're in the mood. If you're not, please don't. See you right back here next week. Where everybody knows her name.You've been listening to where everybody knows your name with Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson. Sometimes. The show is produced by me, Nick Liao. Executive producers are Adam Sachs, Colin Anderson, Jeff Ross and myself. Sara Fedorovich is our supervising producer. Our senior producer is Matt Apodaka, engineering and mixing by Joanna Samuel with support from Eduardo Perez, research by Alyssa, talent booking by Paula Davis and Gina Bautista. Our theme music is by Woody Harrelson, Anthony Genn, Mary Steenburgen and John Osborne. Special thanks to Willy Navray. We'll have more for you next time. Where everybody knows your name.Consumer cellular offers the same fast, reliable nationwide coverage without the big wireless costs. Freedom calls. Sign up with consumercellular@consumercellular.com Ted 50 and use promo code Ted 50 to save $50. Terms and conditions apply.

mean, I met Larry when I was a cast member on SNL, and he was a writer, and he write about three scenes of a week, and they'd never select them, so. And then he got in. It became a Seinfeld episode where he got in a big fight with Dick Eversole and quit after the if the audience didn't please him or something, you're idiots. Yeah. And walk off.Walk off.Yeah. How stupid are you? Can I backtrack to you? Meeting Nancy? It was godspell, right?She was, yeah. She had now been running. We opened in June, and there were two understudies. And then in October, she had worked with Victor. She had done this show called Canadian Rock Theater, where they basically did Godspell songs and Jesus Christ supersongs, and they Jesus Superstar, and they toured the states and worked in Vegas and that kind of thing. Anyway, she auditioned and got in as the understudy. So she was now the understudy to Gilda, who I was now living with. And that's when I first met Nancy. And she was so beautiful. She scared us all because she had an antique clothing store. Also because she, I think, smuggled in clothes from buffalo or something. And she would come in long, Joni Mitchell blonde hair with. Wearing kind of a velvet cape, and sign it, oh, no one's sick. And she'd sign in, and all the guys. Hi.Hi, Nancy.And that was it. And then about. So that would be like, 72 and 74. Gilda and I broke up. We always were breaking up. And.And nothing with Nancy? No glimmer in your eye? Nothing?Well, yeah, but I thought she was out of my league, right? And then. And I love Gilda. And then. But we kind of. It seemed like we were kaput. And then the next day, I'm at the pilot restaurant bar, and there was Nancy. And we got talking, and she said, we made let's play tennis tomorrow. And that was it. I remember Gilda phoning him, saying, you're with Nancy. We're supposed to get back together. She said, yeah. You know, it was fast. I thought it was like, I'm 24. I'm a single boy. One day. One day I was single.What was your wooing technique? Do you make them laugh and then, you know, you're in Orlando?I remember we played tennis, and Nancy had just broken up with a boyfriend who was a rocker. And I remember that tennis kind of. Hey, have you ever tried a comedian? Something like that? Not good. Not good. And then I remember the first night we made love, we checked into the. Which is now. Which was then became the Four Seasons hotel in Toronto. Was the Hyatt then. And I was 24, and I looked about 16, and Nancy was 21 and. No, 22. Shoot. We were a year and a half apart, and we checked into the. Basically, the Four Seasons. I was wearing cutoff jeans and a t shirt, and Nancy was wearing cut off jeans and, like, a halter top. And I said, my wife and I would like a room, please. And the guy behind the desk burst out laughing. He just burst out laughing.That's fantastic. And from that moment on, you lived together.Yeah.For 30 years? No.Married 30, lived together six.Right?Yeah.Wow.And never a packed bag. Never. You know, to hell with you. No.Oh, God. What did I read? Nancy asked you something. That was. It was a moment of. You guys were pissed or something.Yeah.But you weren't being communicative.So she said, let me talk to Ed Grimley. Yes. Yeah. And because Ed was always.That was not a bit.Oh, yeah, no, that was always a bit. We would have fights all the time, you know. I remember she'd say, okay, why are you screaming? I said, okay. Yeah, okay, I'm screaming. Yeah, I'm screaming. But let me ask you something. If you're standing at the edge of a cliff and someone pushes you off the cliff as you're going down, you go, oh, but is it. Isn't it the person who pushed you off the cliff? Isn't it their also fault? But sometimes she always knew that Ed would always be on her side. I said, nan, you're wrong in this. She said, I don't want to talk. Let me talk to Ed. Oh, Miss Nancy, how stupid is he? You must say he doesn't understand you. And I would. That would diffuse the argument.But did you also allow that to actually be more truthful? Ed could be more truthful.No, no, it was time to.No, it was a bit.If it was a real, you know, real argument, then it wouldn't. Then it would be discussed. But this is now like a nice, you know, like kind of diffusing Edward. Diffuse. It's like Matlock, you know.No, what does that reference? I mean, I know Matlock, but I'm.Thinking of Will forte. When he would Matlock, who was he? He was always getting the bombs.MacGruber.MacGruber. Thank you very much, Mac.Goober.Edit that out. Make me sound hipper.So then you were the cute couple? Married couple. Until when did you decide to have kids?19. You know, 81.And what were you doing professionally at that point?I was in St. Tv. 82.Right.And it seemed more settled.Right. And your first child?Catherine.Catherine.And then Oliver.Right.And then baby Henry, who are now. They are now. I now have three grandsons.Oh, that's amazing. How old?Theo will be four in January. And then Grayson is two and four months, and Campbell just turned two.It's so amazing. Mary's daughter, Lily, who, you know, has three granddaughters. 1210 and six.Unbelievable.It is unbelievable. It's like I was, I don't know, twelve years ago, whatever. I was 63 or something. I was just starting to get a smidge grumpy about aging. Just, you know, I'm not crazy about this arthritis or whatever was sitting in. And then the first grandchild arrives and it's like, oh, fuck it, I'm in. I don't care anything anymore about my little this and that. I am so want to be around this. It's so magical.Absolutely. It's absolutely and they love you. They love you, these grandkids, because you represent this kind of. You know, I love explaining to my grandkids that, see, Oliver, I'm his dad, and so papa is, you know, their eyes go big, you know.Yeah. And you do get to hand them back. That's a cliche, but it is true. You don't have to be. You're not on the front lines as much as kids are, which gives you that distance to be almost. I found myself almost like an anthropologist, going, oh, my God, look at this. Their brains now are able to do this and do that. And when you're in it as a father, as a parent, it's just too immediate to have any distance. It's one of our great joys. And Mary always, when she tells people how amazing it is to be a grandmother, she can almost see in their eyes if they're not grandparents yet. Well, didn't you enjoy your kids? You're so in love with your grandkids. No, you can love your kids through the roof, but there's something different and wonderful.And then I know couples who are just saying, oh, my, I'm just dying to become grandparents. My kids won't have kids yet.I sometimes say, magic wand, what are you going to be doing? What would you like to be doing five years from now? Do you have. Do you have. You have done so much.I kind of, you know, I've always led an eclectic career. It's very canadian, you know.Meaning what?Well, I mean, in the sense that you just worked. You do. You could do Shakespeare on CBC in the afternoon and then do a cabaret show. What's a nice country like you doing in a state like this at night or Second City?There was no right or wrong career.No, it was just. Do I bring a suit? There was no, you know, is it good for your career? No, I'm in television. No, I'm in film.Right.It was just much good. So it was like university. It's like England, too.Yeah.And so I have continued that, you know, so, you know, I'll go from Broadway to television to film, and it's great because when they don't want you anymore in film, you say, oh, then I'll do television, and then they don't watch in television. Well, then I'll do Broadway. Oh, they watch you in film again. And it. But it makes for a very interesting career. So I, you know, my health is very good. I am. In five years, I would like to think I'm still doing all this. I don't think actors should retire.No.You know, I think that's. I don't know how great retirement is for anyone if they love what they do. If you hate your job, then great retire. But Laura Michaels, for example, is a big believer in not retiring. Phil Hines, who did lighting for. I did a summer series with Maya Rudolph a few years ago. He was in his, like, 93 or something, and he had done SNL from the beginning and he was still lighting our show.That's my dream. I want to find out what it's like to be. I am not stupid comparison, but I am basically an actor, character actor, who's been blessed to be around amazing writers who are very, very funny people. And I can be funny with their amazing, funny words if I am on my game. So to say I want to be funny is talking to you feels like. I want to say, I do understand that.I'm a character actor is what we are.Yeah, we are. But anyway, I want to know what it's like to be funny at 75, 76. I'm about to turn 76, and I'm about to work with Mike Shore, who did the good place.Yeah.And I can't wait to see what that's like. I want the full money. I want to know what it's like to do that when I'm 80.Yeah. I think that if you, you know, age is such an odd last hurrah of ageism is the last hurrah that hasn't been broken yet. But if you surround yourself with funny people. I mean, I'm good friends with Bill Hader, who could be my son. I'm very good friends with John Mulaney, who could be my son. But when we're together, there's no sense of age at all.No, I find myself. I don't compete with my fellow actors. I compete with people in their thirties for some cause. I know it's hopeless, but it will amuse me hugely. So I will always try to fuck with John Krasinski and challenge him to impossible foot races and whatever. Just the joy of being around people younger than you and you do reach a status I don't know if you have, where people are starting to take care of me just a little bit.I haven't reached that point. No one cares less.I can understand why, but it's like I can see people going, oh, okay, all right. Can I help? Let me lift that. Let me lift that. And at first it's like that competitive. Hey, I'm still on the race here, you know.Oh, yeah. Like on an airplane. Yeah. I'll have you. I'll get that for you, Mister Shure.Thank you.Thank you.Yeah, I've eased into it and kind of enjoy it.See, Steve always says. Martin always says that the time he'd contemplate retiring is when his voice becomes all quivery. Then, you know, that's different. But when you still look and sound like Steve Martin.Yeah.You're going nowhere.How are you in public? How are you walking around the world in public with your fame? Celebrity.Oh, I've gone through all different phases. You know, sometimes people come in, can I have a selfie? I'm sorry, I don't do that. Why? What? Because I don't.Five minutes later, you're still on this.And then I realized, oh, just take the self. Put it. Hi. Thank you. How are you doing? Smile. Thank you.No, takes much longer.Way longer.Yeah.And what's it about, anyway?Yeah.You know.Yeah. So you don't sneak. Well, how do you travel? Just effortlessly wherever you want. Commercial.No, I'm kidding. No, I just kind of keep moving.Yeah.You know, it's interesting. I'll wear, like, a hat and sunglasses and stuff, and then I'll go to this. Say, do you have a New York Times? And my voice gives me a voice.It's the voice.It's the voice.You have an opportunity to have dinner with, hang with, whatever.Who would it be, you know? I mean, I always want to have dinner with Marlon Brando. He's not here. You know.Why? Just to.Oh, because such a. Just to be in that presence of that genius. Be insane. I'm trying to think. I mean, I've been, you know, I had a dinner a couple years ago with the Obamas, and that was, like, on a wish list. That was spectacular.Did you get past the oh, my gosh part and really get to kind of quietly hang?I got to ask him. I remember I asked him at one point, how do you. There's always a fire somewhere in the world. How do you turn that off? How do you do it?What did he say?That's a good question.It is a good question.And it was a struggle at the beginning, but that's kind of like a guy that I'll tell you who I knew for 25 years, and I always pinch myself that I can't believe I'm with him. In his company was Mike Nichols.I read that. Yeah.That was just. Oh, I don't know.To hire you.No, no, I never worked with him. I just knew him socially. And in the eighties, probably the premiere of three amigos or something like that. But he was always so funny to me. And again, I'm that eleven year old listening to Nichols and May on Broadway. Or twelve. And I've said this before, but it's just. It exactly showed how fast he was. One time we were at an art opening and he said, where are you staying? I said, the Essex house. He said, no, but really. And what I loved about Mike is that that would make him laugh. He knew that was funny.Yeah. You just mentioned three amigos.Yeah.Is right up there with one of my favorite funny movies. Where'd you shoot that? In Mexico or.No, no, in Tucson. Tucson, Arizona. And then Simi Valley.Right. It was that perfect combination of outrageously silly, funny, and then the bad guys were brilliant.Brilliant. Well, that was kind of. That was kind of John Landis making it look like the magnificent seven. Well, at the same time. So some of those. And Elmer Bernstein doing the score. Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom, bom, bom. You know, making it like a big classic. The, you know, fifties movie.Yeah.With Cinemascope. But then with Steve's writing. That was written by Steve, Randy Newman and Lorne.Wow.Yeah.Randy Newman as in dialog? Nothing.He came up. I think he came up. Steve would. Might correct me on this. I believe he came up with a singing bush. Randy. Right. And wrote those fabulous songs. Arizona Moon keeps shining, you know.Wow, Marty, I really appreciate sitting down with you.Like delight. I'll do anything. I'll even drive to, you know.Yeah. Why? Why did you come do a podcast? You're not. You don't have anything you're pitching.No, it's just you. It was you.I wish we had gotten to this right away.No, it's true. You know, I adore you, Ted. I have for years.I do and I am. I apologize for all the times I have. You've ignored me, too high on a pedestal and did my bullshit, who am I routine. And I have done that to you.First of all, no one believes. That's what one. You know.I know. And it's false. It is totally false. Totally. My false ego is.There's a big ego. Yeah, it's you and Donald. You're right up there together. Interchangeable.Can we cut that one too? You know, it is such a privilege to be able to sit down and talk with people like this for an hour, an hour and a half. I am so grateful that I got to spend this time with Marty Short. Thank you, Marty, for being here. Be sure to watch only murders in the building. And Woody, I miss you. I will see you soon. If you like this week's show, please tell a friend and subscribe and leave us an Apple podcast rating if you're in the mood. If you're not, please don't. See you right back here next week. Where everybody knows her name.You've been listening to where everybody knows your name with Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson. Sometimes. The show is produced by me, Nick Liao. Executive producers are Adam Sachs, Colin Anderson, Jeff Ross and myself. Sara Fedorovich is our supervising producer. Our senior producer is Matt Apodaka, engineering and mixing by Joanna Samuel with support from Eduardo Perez, research by Alyssa, talent booking by Paula Davis and Gina Bautista. Our theme music is by Woody Harrelson, Anthony Genn, Mary Steenburgen and John Osborne. Special thanks to Willy Navray. We'll have more for you next time. Where everybody knows your name.Consumer cellular offers the same fast, reliable nationwide coverage without the big wireless costs. Freedom calls. Sign up with consumercellular@consumercellular.com Ted 50 and use promo code Ted 50 to save $50. Terms and conditions apply.

if the audience didn't please him or something, you're idiots. Yeah. And walk off.

Walk off.

Yeah. How stupid are you? Can I backtrack to you? Meeting Nancy? It was godspell, right?

She was, yeah. She had now been running. We opened in June, and there were two understudies. And then in October, she had worked with Victor. She had done this show called Canadian Rock Theater, where they basically did Godspell songs and Jesus Christ supersongs, and they Jesus Superstar, and they toured the states and worked in Vegas and that kind of thing. Anyway, she auditioned and got in as the understudy. So she was now the understudy to Gilda, who I was now living with. And that's when I first met Nancy. And she was so beautiful. She scared us all because she had an antique clothing store. Also because she, I think, smuggled in clothes from buffalo or something. And she would come in long, Joni Mitchell blonde hair with. Wearing kind of a velvet cape, and sign it, oh, no one's sick. And she'd sign in, and all the guys. Hi.

Hi, Nancy.

And that was it. And then about. So that would be like, 72 and 74. Gilda and I broke up. We always were breaking up. And.

And nothing with Nancy? No glimmer in your eye? Nothing?

Well, yeah, but I thought she was out of my league, right? And then. And I love Gilda. And then. But we kind of. It seemed like we were kaput. And then the next day, I'm at the pilot restaurant bar, and there was Nancy. And we got talking, and she said, we made let's play tennis tomorrow. And that was it. I remember Gilda phoning him, saying, you're with Nancy. We're supposed to get back together. She said, yeah. You know, it was fast. I thought it was like, I'm 24. I'm a single boy. One day. One day I was single.

What was your wooing technique? Do you make them laugh and then, you know, you're in Orlando?

I remember we played tennis, and Nancy had just broken up with a boyfriend who was a rocker. And I remember that tennis kind of. Hey, have you ever tried a comedian? Something like that? Not good. Not good. And then I remember the first night we made love, we checked into the. Which is now. Which was then became the Four Seasons hotel in Toronto. Was the Hyatt then. And I was 24, and I looked about 16, and Nancy was 21 and. No, 22. Shoot. We were a year and a half apart, and we checked into the. Basically, the Four Seasons. I was wearing cutoff jeans and a t shirt, and Nancy was wearing cut off jeans and, like, a halter top. And I said, my wife and I would like a room, please. And the guy behind the desk burst out laughing. He just burst out laughing.

That's fantastic. And from that moment on, you lived together.

Yeah.

For 30 years? No.

Married 30, lived together six.

Right?

Yeah.

Wow.

And never a packed bag. Never. You know, to hell with you. No.

Oh, God. What did I read? Nancy asked you something. That was. It was a moment of. You guys were pissed or something.

Yeah.

But you weren't being communicative.

So she said, let me talk to Ed Grimley. Yes. Yeah. And because Ed was always.

That was not a bit.

Oh, yeah, no, that was always a bit. We would have fights all the time, you know. I remember she'd say, okay, why are you screaming? I said, okay. Yeah, okay, I'm screaming. Yeah, I'm screaming. But let me ask you something. If you're standing at the edge of a cliff and someone pushes you off the cliff as you're going down, you go, oh, but is it. Isn't it the person who pushed you off the cliff? Isn't it their also fault? But sometimes she always knew that Ed would always be on her side. I said, nan, you're wrong in this. She said, I don't want to talk. Let me talk to Ed. Oh, Miss Nancy, how stupid is he? You must say he doesn't understand you. And I would. That would diffuse the argument.

But did you also allow that to actually be more truthful? Ed could be more truthful.

No, no, it was time to.

No, it was a bit.

If it was a real, you know, real argument, then it wouldn't. Then it would be discussed. But this is now like a nice, you know, like kind of diffusing Edward. Diffuse. It's like Matlock, you know.

No, what does that reference? I mean, I know Matlock, but I'm.

Thinking of Will forte. When he would Matlock, who was he? He was always getting the bombs.

MacGruber.

MacGruber. Thank you very much, Mac.

Goober.

Edit that out. Make me sound hipper.

So then you were the cute couple? Married couple. Until when did you decide to have kids?

19. You know, 81.

And what were you doing professionally at that point?

I was in St. Tv. 82.

Right.

And it seemed more settled.

Right. And your first child?

Catherine.

Catherine.

And then Oliver.

Right.

And then baby Henry, who are now. They are now. I now have three grandsons.

Oh, that's amazing. How old?

Theo will be four in January. And then Grayson is two and four months, and Campbell just turned two.

It's so amazing. Mary's daughter, Lily, who, you know, has three granddaughters. 1210 and six.

Unbelievable.

It is unbelievable. It's like I was, I don't know, twelve years ago, whatever. I was 63 or something. I was just starting to get a smidge grumpy about aging. Just, you know, I'm not crazy about this arthritis or whatever was sitting in. And then the first grandchild arrives and it's like, oh, fuck it, I'm in. I don't care anything anymore about my little this and that. I am so want to be around this. It's so magical.

Absolutely. It's absolutely and they love you. They love you, these grandkids, because you represent this kind of. You know, I love explaining to my grandkids that, see, Oliver, I'm his dad, and so papa is, you know, their eyes go big, you know.

Yeah. And you do get to hand them back. That's a cliche, but it is true. You don't have to be. You're not on the front lines as much as kids are, which gives you that distance to be almost. I found myself almost like an anthropologist, going, oh, my God, look at this. Their brains now are able to do this and do that. And when you're in it as a father, as a parent, it's just too immediate to have any distance. It's one of our great joys. And Mary always, when she tells people how amazing it is to be a grandmother, she can almost see in their eyes if they're not grandparents yet. Well, didn't you enjoy your kids? You're so in love with your grandkids. No, you can love your kids through the roof, but there's something different and wonderful.

And then I know couples who are just saying, oh, my, I'm just dying to become grandparents. My kids won't have kids yet.

I sometimes say, magic wand, what are you going to be doing? What would you like to be doing five years from now? Do you have. Do you have. You have done so much.

I kind of, you know, I've always led an eclectic career. It's very canadian, you know.

Meaning what?

Well, I mean, in the sense that you just worked. You do. You could do Shakespeare on CBC in the afternoon and then do a cabaret show. What's a nice country like you doing in a state like this at night or Second City?

There was no right or wrong career.

No, it was just. Do I bring a suit? There was no, you know, is it good for your career? No, I'm in television. No, I'm in film.

Right.

It was just much good. So it was like university. It's like England, too.

Yeah.

And so I have continued that, you know, so, you know, I'll go from Broadway to television to film, and it's great because when they don't want you anymore in film, you say, oh, then I'll do television, and then they don't watch in television. Well, then I'll do Broadway. Oh, they watch you in film again. And it. But it makes for a very interesting career. So I, you know, my health is very good. I am. In five years, I would like to think I'm still doing all this. I don't think actors should retire.

No.

You know, I think that's. I don't know how great retirement is for anyone if they love what they do. If you hate your job, then great retire. But Laura Michaels, for example, is a big believer in not retiring. Phil Hines, who did lighting for. I did a summer series with Maya Rudolph a few years ago. He was in his, like, 93 or something, and he had done SNL from the beginning and he was still lighting our show.

That's my dream. I want to find out what it's like to be. I am not stupid comparison, but I am basically an actor, character actor, who's been blessed to be around amazing writers who are very, very funny people. And I can be funny with their amazing, funny words if I am on my game. So to say I want to be funny is talking to you feels like. I want to say, I do understand that.

I'm a character actor is what we are.

Yeah, we are. But anyway, I want to know what it's like to be funny at 75, 76. I'm about to turn 76, and I'm about to work with Mike Shore, who did the good place.

Yeah.

And I can't wait to see what that's like. I want the full money. I want to know what it's like to do that when I'm 80.

Yeah. I think that if you, you know, age is such an odd last hurrah of ageism is the last hurrah that hasn't been broken yet. But if you surround yourself with funny people. I mean, I'm good friends with Bill Hader, who could be my son. I'm very good friends with John Mulaney, who could be my son. But when we're together, there's no sense of age at all.

No, I find myself. I don't compete with my fellow actors. I compete with people in their thirties for some cause. I know it's hopeless, but it will amuse me hugely. So I will always try to fuck with John Krasinski and challenge him to impossible foot races and whatever. Just the joy of being around people younger than you and you do reach a status I don't know if you have, where people are starting to take care of me just a little bit.

I haven't reached that point. No one cares less.

I can understand why, but it's like I can see people going, oh, okay, all right. Can I help? Let me lift that. Let me lift that. And at first it's like that competitive. Hey, I'm still on the race here, you know.

Oh, yeah. Like on an airplane. Yeah. I'll have you. I'll get that for you, Mister Shure.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yeah, I've eased into it and kind of enjoy it.

See, Steve always says. Martin always says that the time he'd contemplate retiring is when his voice becomes all quivery. Then, you know, that's different. But when you still look and sound like Steve Martin.

Yeah.

You're going nowhere.

How are you in public? How are you walking around the world in public with your fame? Celebrity.

Oh, I've gone through all different phases. You know, sometimes people come in, can I have a selfie? I'm sorry, I don't do that. Why? What? Because I don't.

Five minutes later, you're still on this.

And then I realized, oh, just take the self. Put it. Hi. Thank you. How are you doing? Smile. Thank you.

No, takes much longer.

Way longer.

Yeah.

And what's it about, anyway?

Yeah.

You know.

Yeah. So you don't sneak. Well, how do you travel? Just effortlessly wherever you want. Commercial.

No, I'm kidding. No, I just kind of keep moving.

Yeah.

You know, it's interesting. I'll wear, like, a hat and sunglasses and stuff, and then I'll go to this. Say, do you have a New York Times? And my voice gives me a voice.

It's the voice.

It's the voice.

You have an opportunity to have dinner with, hang with, whatever.

Who would it be, you know? I mean, I always want to have dinner with Marlon Brando. He's not here. You know.

Why? Just to.

Oh, because such a. Just to be in that presence of that genius. Be insane. I'm trying to think. I mean, I've been, you know, I had a dinner a couple years ago with the Obamas, and that was, like, on a wish list. That was spectacular.

Did you get past the oh, my gosh part and really get to kind of quietly hang?

I got to ask him. I remember I asked him at one point, how do you. There's always a fire somewhere in the world. How do you turn that off? How do you do it?

What did he say?

That's a good question.

It is a good question.

And it was a struggle at the beginning, but that's kind of like a guy that I'll tell you who I knew for 25 years, and I always pinch myself that I can't believe I'm with him. In his company was Mike Nichols.

I read that. Yeah.

That was just. Oh, I don't know.

To hire you.

No, no, I never worked with him. I just knew him socially. And in the eighties, probably the premiere of three amigos or something like that. But he was always so funny to me. And again, I'm that eleven year old listening to Nichols and May on Broadway. Or twelve. And I've said this before, but it's just. It exactly showed how fast he was. One time we were at an art opening and he said, where are you staying? I said, the Essex house. He said, no, but really. And what I loved about Mike is that that would make him laugh. He knew that was funny.

Yeah. You just mentioned three amigos.

Yeah.

Is right up there with one of my favorite funny movies. Where'd you shoot that? In Mexico or.

No, no, in Tucson. Tucson, Arizona. And then Simi Valley.

Right. It was that perfect combination of outrageously silly, funny, and then the bad guys were brilliant.

Brilliant. Well, that was kind of. That was kind of John Landis making it look like the magnificent seven. Well, at the same time. So some of those. And Elmer Bernstein doing the score. Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom, bom, bom. You know, making it like a big classic. The, you know, fifties movie.

Yeah.

With Cinemascope. But then with Steve's writing. That was written by Steve, Randy Newman and Lorne.

Wow.

Yeah.

Randy Newman as in dialog? Nothing.

He came up. I think he came up. Steve would. Might correct me on this. I believe he came up with a singing bush. Randy. Right. And wrote those fabulous songs. Arizona Moon keeps shining, you know.

Wow, Marty, I really appreciate sitting down with you.

Like delight. I'll do anything. I'll even drive to, you know.

Yeah. Why? Why did you come do a podcast? You're not. You don't have anything you're pitching.

No, it's just you. It was you.

I wish we had gotten to this right away.

No, it's true. You know, I adore you, Ted. I have for years.

I do and I am. I apologize for all the times I have. You've ignored me, too high on a pedestal and did my bullshit, who am I routine. And I have done that to you.

First of all, no one believes. That's what one. You know.

I know. And it's false. It is totally false. Totally. My false ego is.

There's a big ego. Yeah, it's you and Donald. You're right up there together. Interchangeable.

Can we cut that one too? You know, it is such a privilege to be able to sit down and talk with people like this for an hour, an hour and a half. I am so grateful that I got to spend this time with Marty Short. Thank you, Marty, for being here. Be sure to watch only murders in the building. And Woody, I miss you. I will see you soon. If you like this week's show, please tell a friend and subscribe and leave us an Apple podcast rating if you're in the mood. If you're not, please don't. See you right back here next week. Where everybody knows her name.

You've been listening to where everybody knows your name with Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson. Sometimes. The show is produced by me, Nick Liao. Executive producers are Adam Sachs, Colin Anderson, Jeff Ross and myself. Sara Fedorovich is our supervising producer. Our senior producer is Matt Apodaka, engineering and mixing by Joanna Samuel with support from Eduardo Perez, research by Alyssa, talent booking by Paula Davis and Gina Bautista. Our theme music is by Woody Harrelson, Anthony Genn, Mary Steenburgen and John Osborne. Special thanks to Willy Navray. We'll have more for you next time. Where everybody knows your name.

Consumer cellular offers the same fast, reliable nationwide coverage without the big wireless costs. Freedom calls. Sign up with consumercellular@consumercellular.com Ted 50 and use promo code Ted 50 to save $50. Terms and conditions apply.