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The Medal of Honor is the highest military decoration in the United States. Since it was established in 1861, there have been 3517 people awarded with the medal. I'm Malcolm Glabwell, and our new podcast from Pushkin Industries and iHeartMedia is about those heroes, what they did, what it meant, and what their stories tell us about the nature of courage and sacrifice. Listen to Medal of Honor stories of courage on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Sponsored by LifeLock.

Before we get to this episode, I want to let you know that you can binge the entire season right now, ad free, by becoming a Pushkin plus subscriber. You can hear every episode before they're released to the public. Sign up for Pushkin on the where's dear? Apple podcast show page or visit Pushkin FM. Plus. Now onto the episode. Last time on where's dear.

I could hear her phone ringing upstairs, but she was not anywhere in the house.

Julie and I have spent hours and hours and hours going over every scenario that it could possibly be, and we came down to the same thing. She did not leave of her own accord.

You know, obviously, when you're the last person to see it, you always become the suspect.

Two days after Deer disappeared, Keith Harper, the man who says he was Deer's fiance, drives to New Mexico. And within a week, police in San Juan county obtain a warrant and search a large fenced in storage building belonging to Harper. The cops also search Harper's motorhome on the grounds that it's linked to a missing person or possible homicide. They remove a section of the driver's seat and sees it as evidence. Several weeks later, Harper sues the police to get his rv back. He wins, and nothing else comes of it. As far as I know. Harper eventually returnsso big, it will consume Clinton and Harper's, Clinton versus Harper, battling it out over DEA's estate. The more I've learned about Deer's life, the more I've wondered, how did someone who had a family and friends and a supposed fiance end up with all these people fighting over her estate? How did this glamorous blonde go from living in her mountain paradise in a town called Edelweild to completely disappearing? It's been hard to understand DEA. I've had to craft a picture of her through the people she left behind. Even if I'm not quite sure. I can totally believe what they're telling me. It can be a bit of a mind fuck, to be honest. It feels like I'm looking at DEA through a prisma or a warped pair of glasses that distort everything. But in this episode, I'm going to tell you about how deer ended up on a huge ranch in the mountains, at odds with her family, living with a man who says they were secretly engaged.I'm Lucy. Sheriff, and this is where's dear? Episode two. She built her own prison. It took me a while to track Peggy Kenshlow down, deas younger sister, but I did and eventually met her at her studio apartment in the San Diego suburbs. Right away, Peggy seemed like the key to unlocking who DEa used to be before she got caught up with the idle, wild crowd.She called me Piggy Puff, and I called her. I think my mom told me I couldn't say Lydia, so I called her deah. And that's how she got deah.Peggy told me that she and Dea grew up with their older brother Jim in a nice house with an avocado orchard on a patch of land in La Mesa, a small inland community east of San Diego. Even though DeA was the middle child, she was the one given special treatment.I remember my dad bought us all pintos, the cars, and my brother and I got these, like, stripped down pintos. But Dia got a two toned pinto that had, like, fur, like, carpet in it, and she even had a radio. up there and scraped up its blood and stuff and stuck itpregnant with Clinton. And so Clement Deer, who was four months pregnant, tied the knot in front of 100 guests with a reception at SeaWorld, although not before signing a prenup on Clem's insistence. Dea became this socialite in San Diego, and her siblings saw her less and less, until one day Peggy and her brother Jim told me she just cut them out. The only ties she had left to that life in La Mesa.I think she felt put off by us. We liked simple things, she wanted grand.Things, and she had her own family by that point. Clem, the husband and their two children, Clinton and Chrisara. Clinton says he was incredibly close to his mom.Well, I was a child. We were best friends. We would go shopping all the time. She loved to shop and she'd take me with her and I'd help her pick out clothes and such. And she thought I had a good fashion sense for a male.When Clinton was around 13, Deer left La Jolla and moved to Idlewild, to her Bonita Vista ranch, without Clem, though, he still supported her financially. And over time, cracks began to show in Clinton and Deer's relationship.It just wasn't a day to day interaction, really. And so it was, you know, more sporadic. I'd talk to her every couple weeks or see her, you know, every month or two months or so, that kind of thing.According to her friends, Deer felt the kids didn't make an effort to see her, although Clinton says that wasn't the case. Regardless, Clinton and DEa's relationship did come under strain when Clem's health began deteriorating.I didn't feel like she shared the same degree of concern. At the time. I thought everybody was being callous because I was so sensitive to him dying.Clinton also started to take over Clem's businesses, including the upkeep of deers properties in Eiderwild, and he and deer disagreed over how to manage them. Clinton is a real estate guy. He loves land, he loves property. He prides himself on having good business sense, and he was pushing deer get rid of one of her properties.It wasn't really a point of contention, but the interest rate on it was just horrific and nobody living there. It was a large monthly not to cover.I asked Clinton's sister Chrisara to do an interview too, several times, but I didn't hear back from her or her lawyer, so I can't tell you much more about their relationship. Still, Clinton says their disagreements were never that serious, and it was his mother who started pulling away, not him or his sister. And he doesn't know why.From the outside looking in, she had the perfect life. I mean, the best husband. I mean, my dad was just so gentle and giving, gave her everything she ever wanted. You know, she had multiple properties, horses, all the jewelry that she could ever want. You know, she went antiquing. She traveled the world. I don't know. I can't explain it, but she did have a tendency to kind of create her own misery in a certain way.But if Dea's life was that perfect, why did she leave everything behind and move to this remote mountain ranch? Maybe her life looked perfect on the outside, but she must have had her reasons for leaving La Jolla. DeA seemingly had everything that she'd wanted as a child. She lived in a glamorous seaside town so beautiful that it's known as San Diego's jewel by the sea. But she turned her back on it for the craggy San Jacinto mountains. Clinton says she literally locked herself away from the world.I would call her paranoid because I always told her that. I said, you know, you came out here, and we built this beautiful mansion, and it's full of all of these valuables, but she would have doors that locked from the inside, so you had to have a key to get out of the house. And so I would always kind of say, you know, you have all these guns, and it's kind of like you built yourself a little bit of your own prison, like you're guarding, you know, all these treasures up here in the mountains.When I piece together everyone's different versions of events, I can see a pattern of Dea distancing herself from those closest to her and where her family was moving out of the picture. These other characters, her Edelweil crew, Diana and eventually Harper started moving in. That's after the break.The Medal of Honor is the highest military decoration in the United States, awarded for gallantry and bravery in combat at the risk of life above and beyond the call of duty. Since it was established in 1861, there have been 3517 people awarded with the medal. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, and our new podcast from Pushkin Industries and iHeartMedia is about those heroes, what they did, what it meant, and what their stories tell us about the nature of courage and sacrifice.Without him and the leadership that he exhibited in bringing those votes in and assembling them to begin with and bringing them in saved a hell of a lot of lives, including my own.Listen to Medal of Honor stories of courage on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.In October of 2016, when Dea was 62 years old, something happened that I think shows just how isolated she felt. DEA needed major back surgery because she suffered from lower back pain after falling off a horse years ago. On the day of the procedure, Chrisara went with her mother to Scripps Memorial Hospital in La Jolla. Not only was the surgery intense, Dea struggled during her recovery. The doctor's notes described DEa as crying continuously, lying on her side and sobbing and saying her pain was an 18 out of ten. The doctor recommended seeing a psychologist for depression. I've looked through the thousand plus pages of deers medical records from that surgery, and reading them was pretty heartbreaking. The doctor wrote in his notes, quote, discuss discharge plans and having adequate emotional support for her. She says everybody in her family is too busy. I really feel Fedea here, this woman, who is in her sixties with a family, feels that she is completely, utterly alone in the world. And it's also this precious moment where I feel I can almost hear DEA in her own words. Then there was this other thing that Deer says happened.Oh, wait, I should make that clear. Harper says that Deer says happened. I know it's confusing. Sometime after Deer got out of surgery, Harper says Deer told him this story about Clinton coming to visit her in the hospital.And she talked about how she was Thirsty and she asked if he could get her something to drink. And she said, you know, I was coming out of the drugs that they had given me. And she said, you know, I was a little disoriented for a while, but she said, you know, after I took the drink that he gave me, I slipped into a very deep coma. And I was in that coma for nearly two and a half days before I came out of and nearly died. They thought that they were going to lose me. And she said, I honestly believe that he administered me some form of drug that was intended to take my life.Wow. And did she tell anybody else about that?Oh, she told the doctor there was.Nothing in the medical records about this accusation, but there was this note in her chart. Found her unresponsive to name and stimuli, unable to wake up, called 911, and sent to Ed for further evaluation. I had no luck tracking down dears doctor to find out more. I did ask Diana about the story, though. Was she concerned that Clinton may have tried to poison her while she was in hospital.She was adamant that he did.Wow.That he slipped her something while she was there.Of course, I asked Clinton about this, too. What is your response to these accusations that you tried to poison your mother when she was in hospital?Just totally silly and not even worthy of a thought.Clinton also disagreed with what DEA had told her doctor, that everyone in her family was too busy for her.I think, unfortunately, she could be melodramatic. I don't doubt that the doctor made the assessment that she was depressed or sad, because I do feel that she had some sort of mood disorder. But with the medal. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, and our new podcast from Pushkin Industries and iHeartMedia is about those heroes, what they did, what it meant, and what their stories tell us about the nature of courage and sacrifice.Without him, and the leadership that he exhibited in bringing those boats in and assembling them to begin with and bringing them in saved a hell of a lot of lives, including my own.Listen to Medal of Honor stories of courage on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.Although DEA and Clem were still legally married, they lived their separate lives. And according to Julie Stanford, DEa had an active love life.She liked cowboys, that type. They were mostly pretty boys, you know, and they were useless.Julie is the third slice to the Dear Diana, Julie Pye, this tight knit trio who'd been such good friends before dear disappeared. Julie and dear had known each other for years.Basically, when I needed rescuing, she helped me. When she needed rescuing, I helped her. You know, that kind of thing, that kind of good friendship.Dea confided her love troubles to Julie. She didn't have a lot of luck when it came to finding the right guy.She would date guys that were online. And I told her, I said, dia, you date these guys? I said, don't bring them here. You know, it's like, don't show these people you met online what you have.But that's exactly what DEA did. According to Harper, they met sometime in the spring of 2016 on a dating site called farmers only. Harper told me about the first time they met face to face. He'd flown from Colorado to California. After months of talking to Dea online.She picked me up at the airport. She had Ruby in the back, her dog. And I looked at her and she had hay in her hair. And I said, boy, you are a country girl, aren't you? And she said, why do you ask that? And I said, because you got hay in your hair. And she laughed and said, really? He said, I fed the animals before I come, but I thought I'd brush my hair.Harper says they spent four blissful days together, horseback riding, hiking, and then the adventure was over. Harper flew back home to Colorado, but they kept in touch. And then he decided to come back for another visit. And then another until the end of 2016, a couple of months after Deer's surgery. He says he just moved in for good.You know, the ranch was pretty overwhelmed when I first came in. You could hardly see the cabin, but we started cleaning the place up because, you know, her. Kent was to use it as an Airbnb and get it just needed to work before done.Julie disputes the timeline when Harper moved in, saying it was more like 2018. Regardless, when Julie finally met Harper, she approved. Harper owns land and businesses in Arizona, New Mexico, and Colorado. Hes a soul of the earth kind of guy. Unlike the pretty boys deer usually went for, he gets his hands dirty.Harper knew how to do things, repair things, work around the ranch. And that was something she needed and someone to kind of lean on. She was lonely, and that still, that's void.Harper and DEA had something else in common, too. They both loved money. There was one occasion when Julie and DEa were showing Harper around Julie's place. Back then, Julie lived in a trailer on a beautiful property that used to be a cattle ranch.We were selling our brother place, and we took him down the road and looked, and he just saw dollar signs. He said, well, this place ought to be developed, you know, so, you know, he had that thing about money, money.Money all the time.There's this stretch of time where I don't really know what's going on up there at the ranch. I. Harper says that after he moved in, they just lived their lives traveling around the american west and managing the ranch. But then something happened that caused a domino effect of events. Dea's husband Clem died.She died on December 12, 2018. And she said to me, you know, it's Independence Day. It's the first day that I actually feel free.On that very same day, on DEA's Independence Day, she went back to that trust she created after her surgery, and she revisited the part that left her entire estate to her daughter. I've seen this document. I've seen how over the name Chrisara Abramsh, Dea scribbled four or five lines in black ink. She wrote denied, dated it, 1212 2018, and added her initials, d A. A few pages later next to that line, which said, trusta leaves nothing but her love and affection to her son, Clinton Abrams. DeA added in her own handwriting, and daughter, Chrysara Abrams. So at this point in time, if DEA were to suddenly drop dead, her children would get nothing. All these changes to Deas trust reflect in real time changes she wanted. Unlike wills, trusts impact your life immediately because they dictate how your assets are managed. In that same crazy month, December of 2018, as if enough hadn't happened already, Harper says he proposed to deer up on a hill overlooking the ranch on a rock formation.It was up to the butterfly rock. It's up by the waterfall. We would get married. The and it left cavities everywhere. And once he had asked Clinton if he would help make the repairs, he refused. He said, you know, if you're eating, that's all you need for right now.Harper also told me that in January 2020, the kids cut deer off financially. Clinton says this wasn't the case at all. He says that he sent his mother plenty of money.She was never cut off, not even for a second. I did know about the flood. I don't recall being asked to help. I do recall her discussing it as a potential reason why she couldn't attend Clem's memorial. And I said, you gotta find a way. This is your husband and I'm throwing a nice service. That's about really the extent. You know, they love to try and make it sound as if we were refusing her money or some such.Did she make it to your dad's memorial?She did, yeah.Again, we have these two opposing narratives. Whatever the reality of how much money the kids were sending deer, we do know that she felt it wasn't anywhere near what she deserved. To make things more complicated, there was a change in tax law that affected the amount DEA stood to gain from Clem's estate. So as Clem's legal wife, she was expecting to get around half of his estate, around $5 million. But after the change, she could potentially be left with nothing. Zero. So six months after Clem died, Dea filed a lawsuit against her own children to modify Clem's trust. And invalidate that prenup she'd signed with him all those years ago. DeA felt the prenup was unfair and that she'd been pressured into it. She wanted $6.7 million minimum. DEA and the kids volleyed objections and amendments back and forth through San Diego Superior Court. The kids did not want to comply with their mothers demands. DEA was stressed. She texted Diana about it in April of 2020. I'll tell you everything that's going on with the kids, DEA texted. It's anyone's worst nightmare. And Diana remembers another comment DEA made again about the kids.I had already been aware of the different things that the kids were doing to make her life miserable with the lawsuit. And she turned to me and she said, if anything ever happens to me, Clinton did it.So we're almost back to that June of 2020, back to the day when Deer disappeared. But there's one other thing I've got to tell you about before we can close that loop of time. Remember that Deer had crossed Cresara out of her trust and had very specifically noted that Clinton would get nothing? Well, DEa made one more major move. She changed her trust again. DEA named a new beneficiary, Keith Leslie Harper, and as an alternate trustee, second in command. If something happened to Harper, was Diana federated. This meant that if anything happened to DEA, Harper would assume control of her trust and benefit from her entire estate, all her antiques, bank accounts, jewelry and property, assets worth potentially millions of dollars. Two weeks after Dea made this change to her trust, she disappeared. Coming up on where's Dea?There was a piece of paper that said that she feared for her life.He would constantly call me, constantly text me, is dia dead? Is Dia alive? She says over and over, over and over again to me and others, that if I disappear, it is my son stewing.Where's dear? Is written and hosted by me, Lucy Sheriff. Our producer is Daphne Chen. Editing by Karen Shukurji. Production assistance from Joey Fishground fact checking by Lauren Vespoli. Our executive producer is Jacob Smith. Original score, sound design and mastering by echo shores. Wheres Deer? Is a co production of Pushkin Industries and iHeartmedia. You can listen to all of Wesdeer right now, ad free, by becoming a Pushkin plus subscriber. Find Pushkin on the Apple show page for wheres dear or at Pushkin FM. Plus.The Medal of Honor is the highest military decoration in the United States. Since it was established in 1861, there have been 3517 people awarded with the medal. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, and our new podcast from Bushkin Industries and I heart media is about those heroes, what they did, what it meant, and what their stories tell us about the nature of courage and sacrifice. Listen to Medal of Honor stories of courage on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts sponsored by Lifelock.

so big, it will consume Clinton and Harper's, Clinton versus Harper, battling it out over DEA's estate. The more I've learned about Deer's life, the more I've wondered, how did someone who had a family and friends and a supposed fiance end up with all these people fighting over her estate? How did this glamorous blonde go from living in her mountain paradise in a town called Edelweild to completely disappearing? It's been hard to understand DEA. I've had to craft a picture of her through the people she left behind. Even if I'm not quite sure. I can totally believe what they're telling me. It can be a bit of a mind fuck, to be honest. It feels like I'm looking at DEA through a prisma or a warped pair of glasses that distort everything. But in this episode, I'm going to tell you about how deer ended up on a huge ranch in the mountains, at odds with her family, living with a man who says they were secretly engaged.

I'm Lucy. Sheriff, and this is where's dear? Episode two. She built her own prison. It took me a while to track Peggy Kenshlow down, deas younger sister, but I did and eventually met her at her studio apartment in the San Diego suburbs. Right away, Peggy seemed like the key to unlocking who DEa used to be before she got caught up with the idle, wild crowd.

She called me Piggy Puff, and I called her. I think my mom told me I couldn't say Lydia, so I called her deah. And that's how she got deah.

Peggy told me that she and Dea grew up with their older brother Jim in a nice house with an avocado orchard on a patch of land in La Mesa, a small inland community east of San Diego. Even though DeA was the middle child, she was the one given special treatment.

I remember my dad bought us all pintos, the cars, and my brother and I got these, like, stripped down pintos. But Dia got a two toned pinto that had, like, fur, like, carpet in it, and she even had a radio. up there and scraped up its blood and stuff and stuck itpregnant with Clinton. And so Clement Deer, who was four months pregnant, tied the knot in front of 100 guests with a reception at SeaWorld, although not before signing a prenup on Clem's insistence. Dea became this socialite in San Diego, and her siblings saw her less and less, until one day Peggy and her brother Jim told me she just cut them out. The only ties she had left to that life in La Mesa.I think she felt put off by us. We liked simple things, she wanted grand.Things, and she had her own family by that point. Clem, the husband and their two children, Clinton and Chrisara. Clinton says he was incredibly close to his mom.Well, I was a child. We were best friends. We would go shopping all the time. She loved to shop and she'd take me with her and I'd help her pick out clothes and such. And she thought I had a good fashion sense for a male.When Clinton was around 13, Deer left La Jolla and moved to Idlewild, to her Bonita Vista ranch, without Clem, though, he still supported her financially. And over time, cracks began to show in Clinton and Deer's relationship.It just wasn't a day to day interaction, really. And so it was, you know, more sporadic. I'd talk to her every couple weeks or see her, you know, every month or two months or so, that kind of thing.According to her friends, Deer felt the kids didn't make an effort to see her, although Clinton says that wasn't the case. Regardless, Clinton and DEa's relationship did come under strain when Clem's health began deteriorating.I didn't feel like she shared the same degree of concern. At the time. I thought everybody was being callous because I was so sensitive to him dying.Clinton also started to take over Clem's businesses, including the upkeep of deers properties in Eiderwild, and he and deer disagreed over how to manage them. Clinton is a real estate guy. He loves land, he loves property. He prides himself on having good business sense, and he was pushing deer get rid of one of her properties.It wasn't really a point of contention, but the interest rate on it was just horrific and nobody living there. It was a large monthly not to cover.I asked Clinton's sister Chrisara to do an interview too, several times, but I didn't hear back from her or her lawyer, so I can't tell you much more about their relationship. Still, Clinton says their disagreements were never that serious, and it was his mother who started pulling away, not him or his sister. And he doesn't know why.From the outside looking in, she had the perfect life. I mean, the best husband. I mean, my dad was just so gentle and giving, gave her everything she ever wanted. You know, she had multiple properties, horses, all the jewelry that she could ever want. You know, she went antiquing. She traveled the world. I don't know. I can't explain it, but she did have a tendency to kind of create her own misery in a certain way.But if Dea's life was that perfect, why did she leave everything behind and move to this remote mountain ranch? Maybe her life looked perfect on the outside, but she must have had her reasons for leaving La Jolla. DeA seemingly had everything that she'd wanted as a child. She lived in a glamorous seaside town so beautiful that it's known as San Diego's jewel by the sea. But she turned her back on it for the craggy San Jacinto mountains. Clinton says she literally locked herself away from the world.I would call her paranoid because I always told her that. I said, you know, you came out here, and we built this beautiful mansion, and it's full of all of these valuables, but she would have doors that locked from the inside, so you had to have a key to get out of the house. And so I would always kind of say, you know, you have all these guns, and it's kind of like you built yourself a little bit of your own prison, like you're guarding, you know, all these treasures up here in the mountains.When I piece together everyone's different versions of events, I can see a pattern of Dea distancing herself from those closest to her and where her family was moving out of the picture. These other characters, her Edelweil crew, Diana and eventually Harper started moving in. That's after the break.The Medal of Honor is the highest military decoration in the United States, awarded for gallantry and bravery in combat at the risk of life above and beyond the call of duty. Since it was established in 1861, there have been 3517 people awarded with the medal. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, and our new podcast from Pushkin Industries and iHeartMedia is about those heroes, what they did, what it meant, and what their stories tell us about the nature of courage and sacrifice.Without him and the leadership that he exhibited in bringing those votes in and assembling them to begin with and bringing them in saved a hell of a lot of lives, including my own.Listen to Medal of Honor stories of courage on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.In October of 2016, when Dea was 62 years old, something happened that I think shows just how isolated she felt. DEA needed major back surgery because she suffered from lower back pain after falling off a horse years ago. On the day of the procedure, Chrisara went with her mother to Scripps Memorial Hospital in La Jolla. Not only was the surgery intense, Dea struggled during her recovery. The doctor's notes described DEa as crying continuously, lying on her side and sobbing and saying her pain was an 18 out of ten. The doctor recommended seeing a psychologist for depression. I've looked through the thousand plus pages of deers medical records from that surgery, and reading them was pretty heartbreaking. The doctor wrote in his notes, quote, discuss discharge plans and having adequate emotional support for her. She says everybody in her family is too busy. I really feel Fedea here, this woman, who is in her sixties with a family, feels that she is completely, utterly alone in the world. And it's also this precious moment where I feel I can almost hear DEA in her own words. Then there was this other thing that Deer says happened.Oh, wait, I should make that clear. Harper says that Deer says happened. I know it's confusing. Sometime after Deer got out of surgery, Harper says Deer told him this story about Clinton coming to visit her in the hospital.And she talked about how she was Thirsty and she asked if he could get her something to drink. And she said, you know, I was coming out of the drugs that they had given me. And she said, you know, I was a little disoriented for a while, but she said, you know, after I took the drink that he gave me, I slipped into a very deep coma. And I was in that coma for nearly two and a half days before I came out of and nearly died. They thought that they were going to lose me. And she said, I honestly believe that he administered me some form of drug that was intended to take my life.Wow. And did she tell anybody else about that?Oh, she told the doctor there was.Nothing in the medical records about this accusation, but there was this note in her chart. Found her unresponsive to name and stimuli, unable to wake up, called 911, and sent to Ed for further evaluation. I had no luck tracking down dears doctor to find out more. I did ask Diana about the story, though. Was she concerned that Clinton may have tried to poison her while she was in hospital.She was adamant that he did.Wow.That he slipped her something while she was there.Of course, I asked Clinton about this, too. What is your response to these accusations that you tried to poison your mother when she was in hospital?Just totally silly and not even worthy of a thought.Clinton also disagreed with what DEA had told her doctor, that everyone in her family was too busy for her.I think, unfortunately, she could be melodramatic. I don't doubt that the doctor made the assessment that she was depressed or sad, because I do feel that she had some sort of mood disorder. But with the medal. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, and our new podcast from Pushkin Industries and iHeartMedia is about those heroes, what they did, what it meant, and what their stories tell us about the nature of courage and sacrifice.Without him, and the leadership that he exhibited in bringing those boats in and assembling them to begin with and bringing them in saved a hell of a lot of lives, including my own.Listen to Medal of Honor stories of courage on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.Although DEA and Clem were still legally married, they lived their separate lives. And according to Julie Stanford, DEa had an active love life.She liked cowboys, that type. They were mostly pretty boys, you know, and they were useless.Julie is the third slice to the Dear Diana, Julie Pye, this tight knit trio who'd been such good friends before dear disappeared. Julie and dear had known each other for years.Basically, when I needed rescuing, she helped me. When she needed rescuing, I helped her. You know, that kind of thing, that kind of good friendship.Dea confided her love troubles to Julie. She didn't have a lot of luck when it came to finding the right guy.She would date guys that were online. And I told her, I said, dia, you date these guys? I said, don't bring them here. You know, it's like, don't show these people you met online what you have.But that's exactly what DEA did. According to Harper, they met sometime in the spring of 2016 on a dating site called farmers only. Harper told me about the first time they met face to face. He'd flown from Colorado to California. After months of talking to Dea online.She picked me up at the airport. She had Ruby in the back, her dog. And I looked at her and she had hay in her hair. And I said, boy, you are a country girl, aren't you? And she said, why do you ask that? And I said, because you got hay in your hair. And she laughed and said, really? He said, I fed the animals before I come, but I thought I'd brush my hair.Harper says they spent four blissful days together, horseback riding, hiking, and then the adventure was over. Harper flew back home to Colorado, but they kept in touch. And then he decided to come back for another visit. And then another until the end of 2016, a couple of months after Deer's surgery. He says he just moved in for good.You know, the ranch was pretty overwhelmed when I first came in. You could hardly see the cabin, but we started cleaning the place up because, you know, her. Kent was to use it as an Airbnb and get it just needed to work before done.Julie disputes the timeline when Harper moved in, saying it was more like 2018. Regardless, when Julie finally met Harper, she approved. Harper owns land and businesses in Arizona, New Mexico, and Colorado. Hes a soul of the earth kind of guy. Unlike the pretty boys deer usually went for, he gets his hands dirty.Harper knew how to do things, repair things, work around the ranch. And that was something she needed and someone to kind of lean on. She was lonely, and that still, that's void.Harper and DEA had something else in common, too. They both loved money. There was one occasion when Julie and DEa were showing Harper around Julie's place. Back then, Julie lived in a trailer on a beautiful property that used to be a cattle ranch.We were selling our brother place, and we took him down the road and looked, and he just saw dollar signs. He said, well, this place ought to be developed, you know, so, you know, he had that thing about money, money.Money all the time.There's this stretch of time where I don't really know what's going on up there at the ranch. I. Harper says that after he moved in, they just lived their lives traveling around the american west and managing the ranch. But then something happened that caused a domino effect of events. Dea's husband Clem died.She died on December 12, 2018. And she said to me, you know, it's Independence Day. It's the first day that I actually feel free.On that very same day, on DEA's Independence Day, she went back to that trust she created after her surgery, and she revisited the part that left her entire estate to her daughter. I've seen this document. I've seen how over the name Chrisara Abramsh, Dea scribbled four or five lines in black ink. She wrote denied, dated it, 1212 2018, and added her initials, d A. A few pages later next to that line, which said, trusta leaves nothing but her love and affection to her son, Clinton Abrams. DeA added in her own handwriting, and daughter, Chrysara Abrams. So at this point in time, if DEA were to suddenly drop dead, her children would get nothing. All these changes to Deas trust reflect in real time changes she wanted. Unlike wills, trusts impact your life immediately because they dictate how your assets are managed. In that same crazy month, December of 2018, as if enough hadn't happened already, Harper says he proposed to deer up on a hill overlooking the ranch on a rock formation.It was up to the butterfly rock. It's up by the waterfall. We would get married. The and it left cavities everywhere. And once he had asked Clinton if he would help make the repairs, he refused. He said, you know, if you're eating, that's all you need for right now.Harper also told me that in January 2020, the kids cut deer off financially. Clinton says this wasn't the case at all. He says that he sent his mother plenty of money.She was never cut off, not even for a second. I did know about the flood. I don't recall being asked to help. I do recall her discussing it as a potential reason why she couldn't attend Clem's memorial. And I said, you gotta find a way. This is your husband and I'm throwing a nice service. That's about really the extent. You know, they love to try and make it sound as if we were refusing her money or some such.Did she make it to your dad's memorial?She did, yeah.Again, we have these two opposing narratives. Whatever the reality of how much money the kids were sending deer, we do know that she felt it wasn't anywhere near what she deserved. To make things more complicated, there was a change in tax law that affected the amount DEA stood to gain from Clem's estate. So as Clem's legal wife, she was expecting to get around half of his estate, around $5 million. But after the change, she could potentially be left with nothing. Zero. So six months after Clem died, Dea filed a lawsuit against her own children to modify Clem's trust. And invalidate that prenup she'd signed with him all those years ago. DeA felt the prenup was unfair and that she'd been pressured into it. She wanted $6.7 million minimum. DEA and the kids volleyed objections and amendments back and forth through San Diego Superior Court. The kids did not want to comply with their mothers demands. DEA was stressed. She texted Diana about it in April of 2020. I'll tell you everything that's going on with the kids, DEA texted. It's anyone's worst nightmare. And Diana remembers another comment DEA made again about the kids.I had already been aware of the different things that the kids were doing to make her life miserable with the lawsuit. And she turned to me and she said, if anything ever happens to me, Clinton did it.So we're almost back to that June of 2020, back to the day when Deer disappeared. But there's one other thing I've got to tell you about before we can close that loop of time. Remember that Deer had crossed Cresara out of her trust and had very specifically noted that Clinton would get nothing? Well, DEa made one more major move. She changed her trust again. DEA named a new beneficiary, Keith Leslie Harper, and as an alternate trustee, second in command. If something happened to Harper, was Diana federated. This meant that if anything happened to DEA, Harper would assume control of her trust and benefit from her entire estate, all her antiques, bank accounts, jewelry and property, assets worth potentially millions of dollars. Two weeks after Dea made this change to her trust, she disappeared. Coming up on where's Dea?There was a piece of paper that said that she feared for her life.He would constantly call me, constantly text me, is dia dead? Is Dia alive? She says over and over, over and over again to me and others, that if I disappear, it is my son stewing.Where's dear? Is written and hosted by me, Lucy Sheriff. Our producer is Daphne Chen. Editing by Karen Shukurji. Production assistance from Joey Fishground fact checking by Lauren Vespoli. Our executive producer is Jacob Smith. Original score, sound design and mastering by echo shores. Wheres Deer? Is a co production of Pushkin Industries and iHeartmedia. You can listen to all of Wesdeer right now, ad free, by becoming a Pushkin plus subscriber. Find Pushkin on the Apple show page for wheres dear or at Pushkin FM. Plus.The Medal of Honor is the highest military decoration in the United States. Since it was established in 1861, there have been 3517 people awarded with the medal. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, and our new podcast from Bushkin Industries and I heart media is about those heroes, what they did, what it meant, and what their stories tell us about the nature of courage and sacrifice. Listen to Medal of Honor stories of courage on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts sponsored by Lifelock.

up there and scraped up its blood and stuff and stuck itpregnant with Clinton. And so Clement Deer, who was four months pregnant, tied the knot in front of 100 guests with a reception at SeaWorld, although not before signing a prenup on Clem's insistence. Dea became this socialite in San Diego, and her siblings saw her less and less, until one day Peggy and her brother Jim told me she just cut them out. The only ties she had left to that life in La Mesa.I think she felt put off by us. We liked simple things, she wanted grand.Things, and she had her own family by that point. Clem, the husband and their two children, Clinton and Chrisara. Clinton says he was incredibly close to his mom.Well, I was a child. We were best friends. We would go shopping all the time. She loved to shop and she'd take me with her and I'd help her pick out clothes and such. And she thought I had a good fashion sense for a male.When Clinton was around 13, Deer left La Jolla and moved to Idlewild, to her Bonita Vista ranch, without Clem, though, he still supported her financially. And over time, cracks began to show in Clinton and Deer's relationship.It just wasn't a day to day interaction, really. And so it was, you know, more sporadic. I'd talk to her every couple weeks or see her, you know, every month or two months or so, that kind of thing.According to her friends, Deer felt the kids didn't make an effort to see her, although Clinton says that wasn't the case. Regardless, Clinton and DEa's relationship did come under strain when Clem's health began deteriorating.I didn't feel like she shared the same degree of concern. At the time. I thought everybody was being callous because I was so sensitive to him dying.Clinton also started to take over Clem's businesses, including the upkeep of deers properties in Eiderwild, and he and deer disagreed over how to manage them. Clinton is a real estate guy. He loves land, he loves property. He prides himself on having good business sense, and he was pushing deer get rid of one of her properties.It wasn't really a point of contention, but the interest rate on it was just horrific and nobody living there. It was a large monthly not to cover.I asked Clinton's sister Chrisara to do an interview too, several times, but I didn't hear back from her or her lawyer, so I can't tell you much more about their relationship. Still, Clinton says their disagreements were never that serious, and it was his mother who started pulling away, not him or his sister. And he doesn't know why.From the outside looking in, she had the perfect life. I mean, the best husband. I mean, my dad was just so gentle and giving, gave her everything she ever wanted. You know, she had multiple properties, horses, all the jewelry that she could ever want. You know, she went antiquing. She traveled the world. I don't know. I can't explain it, but she did have a tendency to kind of create her own misery in a certain way.But if Dea's life was that perfect, why did she leave everything behind and move to this remote mountain ranch? Maybe her life looked perfect on the outside, but she must have had her reasons for leaving La Jolla. DeA seemingly had everything that she'd wanted as a child. She lived in a glamorous seaside town so beautiful that it's known as San Diego's jewel by the sea. But she turned her back on it for the craggy San Jacinto mountains. Clinton says she literally locked herself away from the world.I would call her paranoid because I always told her that. I said, you know, you came out here, and we built this beautiful mansion, and it's full of all of these valuables, but she would have doors that locked from the inside, so you had to have a key to get out of the house. And so I would always kind of say, you know, you have all these guns, and it's kind of like you built yourself a little bit of your own prison, like you're guarding, you know, all these treasures up here in the mountains.When I piece together everyone's different versions of events, I can see a pattern of Dea distancing herself from those closest to her and where her family was moving out of the picture. These other characters, her Edelweil crew, Diana and eventually Harper started moving in. That's after the break.The Medal of Honor is the highest military decoration in the United States, awarded for gallantry and bravery in combat at the risk of life above and beyond the call of duty. Since it was established in 1861, there have been 3517 people awarded with the medal. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, and our new podcast from Pushkin Industries and iHeartMedia is about those heroes, what they did, what it meant, and what their stories tell us about the nature of courage and sacrifice.Without him and the leadership that he exhibited in bringing those votes in and assembling them to begin with and bringing them in saved a hell of a lot of lives, including my own.Listen to Medal of Honor stories of courage on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.In October of 2016, when Dea was 62 years old, something happened that I think shows just how isolated she felt. DEA needed major back surgery because she suffered from lower back pain after falling off a horse years ago. On the day of the procedure, Chrisara went with her mother to Scripps Memorial Hospital in La Jolla. Not only was the surgery intense, Dea struggled during her recovery. The doctor's notes described DEa as crying continuously, lying on her side and sobbing and saying her pain was an 18 out of ten. The doctor recommended seeing a psychologist for depression. I've looked through the thousand plus pages of deers medical records from that surgery, and reading them was pretty heartbreaking. The doctor wrote in his notes, quote, discuss discharge plans and having adequate emotional support for her. She says everybody in her family is too busy. I really feel Fedea here, this woman, who is in her sixties with a family, feels that she is completely, utterly alone in the world. And it's also this precious moment where I feel I can almost hear DEA in her own words. Then there was this other thing that Deer says happened.Oh, wait, I should make that clear. Harper says that Deer says happened. I know it's confusing. Sometime after Deer got out of surgery, Harper says Deer told him this story about Clinton coming to visit her in the hospital.And she talked about how she was Thirsty and she asked if he could get her something to drink. And she said, you know, I was coming out of the drugs that they had given me. And she said, you know, I was a little disoriented for a while, but she said, you know, after I took the drink that he gave me, I slipped into a very deep coma. And I was in that coma for nearly two and a half days before I came out of and nearly died. They thought that they were going to lose me. And she said, I honestly believe that he administered me some form of drug that was intended to take my life.Wow. And did she tell anybody else about that?Oh, she told the doctor there was.Nothing in the medical records about this accusation, but there was this note in her chart. Found her unresponsive to name and stimuli, unable to wake up, called 911, and sent to Ed for further evaluation. I had no luck tracking down dears doctor to find out more. I did ask Diana about the story, though. Was she concerned that Clinton may have tried to poison her while she was in hospital.She was adamant that he did.Wow.That he slipped her something while she was there.Of course, I asked Clinton about this, too. What is your response to these accusations that you tried to poison your mother when she was in hospital?Just totally silly and not even worthy of a thought.Clinton also disagreed with what DEA had told her doctor, that everyone in her family was too busy for her.I think, unfortunately, she could be melodramatic. I don't doubt that the doctor made the assessment that she was depressed or sad, because I do feel that she had some sort of mood disorder. But with the medal. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, and our new podcast from Pushkin Industries and iHeartMedia is about those heroes, what they did, what it meant, and what their stories tell us about the nature of courage and sacrifice.Without him, and the leadership that he exhibited in bringing those boats in and assembling them to begin with and bringing them in saved a hell of a lot of lives, including my own.Listen to Medal of Honor stories of courage on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.Although DEA and Clem were still legally married, they lived their separate lives. And according to Julie Stanford, DEa had an active love life.She liked cowboys, that type. They were mostly pretty boys, you know, and they were useless.Julie is the third slice to the Dear Diana, Julie Pye, this tight knit trio who'd been such good friends before dear disappeared. Julie and dear had known each other for years.Basically, when I needed rescuing, she helped me. When she needed rescuing, I helped her. You know, that kind of thing, that kind of good friendship.Dea confided her love troubles to Julie. She didn't have a lot of luck when it came to finding the right guy.She would date guys that were online. And I told her, I said, dia, you date these guys? I said, don't bring them here. You know, it's like, don't show these people you met online what you have.But that's exactly what DEA did. According to Harper, they met sometime in the spring of 2016 on a dating site called farmers only. Harper told me about the first time they met face to face. He'd flown from Colorado to California. After months of talking to Dea online.She picked me up at the airport. She had Ruby in the back, her dog. And I looked at her and she had hay in her hair. And I said, boy, you are a country girl, aren't you? And she said, why do you ask that? And I said, because you got hay in your hair. And she laughed and said, really? He said, I fed the animals before I come, but I thought I'd brush my hair.Harper says they spent four blissful days together, horseback riding, hiking, and then the adventure was over. Harper flew back home to Colorado, but they kept in touch. And then he decided to come back for another visit. And then another until the end of 2016, a couple of months after Deer's surgery. He says he just moved in for good.You know, the ranch was pretty overwhelmed when I first came in. You could hardly see the cabin, but we started cleaning the place up because, you know, her. Kent was to use it as an Airbnb and get it just needed to work before done.Julie disputes the timeline when Harper moved in, saying it was more like 2018. Regardless, when Julie finally met Harper, she approved. Harper owns land and businesses in Arizona, New Mexico, and Colorado. Hes a soul of the earth kind of guy. Unlike the pretty boys deer usually went for, he gets his hands dirty.Harper knew how to do things, repair things, work around the ranch. And that was something she needed and someone to kind of lean on. She was lonely, and that still, that's void.Harper and DEA had something else in common, too. They both loved money. There was one occasion when Julie and DEa were showing Harper around Julie's place. Back then, Julie lived in a trailer on a beautiful property that used to be a cattle ranch.We were selling our brother place, and we took him down the road and looked, and he just saw dollar signs. He said, well, this place ought to be developed, you know, so, you know, he had that thing about money, money.Money all the time.There's this stretch of time where I don't really know what's going on up there at the ranch. I. Harper says that after he moved in, they just lived their lives traveling around the american west and managing the ranch. But then something happened that caused a domino effect of events. Dea's husband Clem died.She died on December 12, 2018. And she said to me, you know, it's Independence Day. It's the first day that I actually feel free.On that very same day, on DEA's Independence Day, she went back to that trust she created after her surgery, and she revisited the part that left her entire estate to her daughter. I've seen this document. I've seen how over the name Chrisara Abramsh, Dea scribbled four or five lines in black ink. She wrote denied, dated it, 1212 2018, and added her initials, d A. A few pages later next to that line, which said, trusta leaves nothing but her love and affection to her son, Clinton Abrams. DeA added in her own handwriting, and daughter, Chrysara Abrams. So at this point in time, if DEA were to suddenly drop dead, her children would get nothing. All these changes to Deas trust reflect in real time changes she wanted. Unlike wills, trusts impact your life immediately because they dictate how your assets are managed. In that same crazy month, December of 2018, as if enough hadn't happened already, Harper says he proposed to deer up on a hill overlooking the ranch on a rock formation.It was up to the butterfly rock. It's up by the waterfall. We would get married. The and it left cavities everywhere. And once he had asked Clinton if he would help make the repairs, he refused. He said, you know, if you're eating, that's all you need for right now.Harper also told me that in January 2020, the kids cut deer off financially. Clinton says this wasn't the case at all. He says that he sent his mother plenty of money.She was never cut off, not even for a second. I did know about the flood. I don't recall being asked to help. I do recall her discussing it as a potential reason why she couldn't attend Clem's memorial. And I said, you gotta find a way. This is your husband and I'm throwing a nice service. That's about really the extent. You know, they love to try and make it sound as if we were refusing her money or some such.Did she make it to your dad's memorial?She did, yeah.Again, we have these two opposing narratives. Whatever the reality of how much money the kids were sending deer, we do know that she felt it wasn't anywhere near what she deserved. To make things more complicated, there was a change in tax law that affected the amount DEA stood to gain from Clem's estate. So as Clem's legal wife, she was expecting to get around half of his estate, around $5 million. But after the change, she could potentially be left with nothing. Zero. So six months after Clem died, Dea filed a lawsuit against her own children to modify Clem's trust. And invalidate that prenup she'd signed with him all those years ago. DeA felt the prenup was unfair and that she'd been pressured into it. She wanted $6.7 million minimum. DEA and the kids volleyed objections and amendments back and forth through San Diego Superior Court. The kids did not want to comply with their mothers demands. DEA was stressed. She texted Diana about it in April of 2020. I'll tell you everything that's going on with the kids, DEA texted. It's anyone's worst nightmare. And Diana remembers another comment DEA made again about the kids.I had already been aware of the different things that the kids were doing to make her life miserable with the lawsuit. And she turned to me and she said, if anything ever happens to me, Clinton did it.So we're almost back to that June of 2020, back to the day when Deer disappeared. But there's one other thing I've got to tell you about before we can close that loop of time. Remember that Deer had crossed Cresara out of her trust and had very specifically noted that Clinton would get nothing? Well, DEa made one more major move. She changed her trust again. DEA named a new beneficiary, Keith Leslie Harper, and as an alternate trustee, second in command. If something happened to Harper, was Diana federated. This meant that if anything happened to DEA, Harper would assume control of her trust and benefit from her entire estate, all her antiques, bank accounts, jewelry and property, assets worth potentially millions of dollars. Two weeks after Dea made this change to her trust, she disappeared. Coming up on where's Dea?There was a piece of paper that said that she feared for her life.He would constantly call me, constantly text me, is dia dead? Is Dia alive? She says over and over, over and over again to me and others, that if I disappear, it is my son stewing.Where's dear? Is written and hosted by me, Lucy Sheriff. Our producer is Daphne Chen. Editing by Karen Shukurji. Production assistance from Joey Fishground fact checking by Lauren Vespoli. Our executive producer is Jacob Smith. Original score, sound design and mastering by echo shores. Wheres Deer? Is a co production of Pushkin Industries and iHeartmedia. You can listen to all of Wesdeer right now, ad free, by becoming a Pushkin plus subscriber. Find Pushkin on the Apple show page for wheres dear or at Pushkin FM. Plus.The Medal of Honor is the highest military decoration in the United States. Since it was established in 1861, there have been 3517 people awarded with the medal. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, and our new podcast from Bushkin Industries and I heart media is about those heroes, what they did, what it meant, and what their stories tell us about the nature of courage and sacrifice. Listen to Medal of Honor stories of courage on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts sponsored by Lifelock.

pregnant with Clinton. And so Clement Deer, who was four months pregnant, tied the knot in front of 100 guests with a reception at SeaWorld, although not before signing a prenup on Clem's insistence. Dea became this socialite in San Diego, and her siblings saw her less and less, until one day Peggy and her brother Jim told me she just cut them out. The only ties she had left to that life in La Mesa.

I think she felt put off by us. We liked simple things, she wanted grand.

Things, and she had her own family by that point. Clem, the husband and their two children, Clinton and Chrisara. Clinton says he was incredibly close to his mom.

Well, I was a child. We were best friends. We would go shopping all the time. She loved to shop and she'd take me with her and I'd help her pick out clothes and such. And she thought I had a good fashion sense for a male.

When Clinton was around 13, Deer left La Jolla and moved to Idlewild, to her Bonita Vista ranch, without Clem, though, he still supported her financially. And over time, cracks began to show in Clinton and Deer's relationship.

It just wasn't a day to day interaction, really. And so it was, you know, more sporadic. I'd talk to her every couple weeks or see her, you know, every month or two months or so, that kind of thing.

According to her friends, Deer felt the kids didn't make an effort to see her, although Clinton says that wasn't the case. Regardless, Clinton and DEa's relationship did come under strain when Clem's health began deteriorating.

I didn't feel like she shared the same degree of concern. At the time. I thought everybody was being callous because I was so sensitive to him dying.

Clinton also started to take over Clem's businesses, including the upkeep of deers properties in Eiderwild, and he and deer disagreed over how to manage them. Clinton is a real estate guy. He loves land, he loves property. He prides himself on having good business sense, and he was pushing deer get rid of one of her properties.

It wasn't really a point of contention, but the interest rate on it was just horrific and nobody living there. It was a large monthly not to cover.

I asked Clinton's sister Chrisara to do an interview too, several times, but I didn't hear back from her or her lawyer, so I can't tell you much more about their relationship. Still, Clinton says their disagreements were never that serious, and it was his mother who started pulling away, not him or his sister. And he doesn't know why.

From the outside looking in, she had the perfect life. I mean, the best husband. I mean, my dad was just so gentle and giving, gave her everything she ever wanted. You know, she had multiple properties, horses, all the jewelry that she could ever want. You know, she went antiquing. She traveled the world. I don't know. I can't explain it, but she did have a tendency to kind of create her own misery in a certain way.

But if Dea's life was that perfect, why did she leave everything behind and move to this remote mountain ranch? Maybe her life looked perfect on the outside, but she must have had her reasons for leaving La Jolla. DeA seemingly had everything that she'd wanted as a child. She lived in a glamorous seaside town so beautiful that it's known as San Diego's jewel by the sea. But she turned her back on it for the craggy San Jacinto mountains. Clinton says she literally locked herself away from the world.

I would call her paranoid because I always told her that. I said, you know, you came out here, and we built this beautiful mansion, and it's full of all of these valuables, but she would have doors that locked from the inside, so you had to have a key to get out of the house. And so I would always kind of say, you know, you have all these guns, and it's kind of like you built yourself a little bit of your own prison, like you're guarding, you know, all these treasures up here in the mountains.

When I piece together everyone's different versions of events, I can see a pattern of Dea distancing herself from those closest to her and where her family was moving out of the picture. These other characters, her Edelweil crew, Diana and eventually Harper started moving in. That's after the break.

The Medal of Honor is the highest military decoration in the United States, awarded for gallantry and bravery in combat at the risk of life above and beyond the call of duty. Since it was established in 1861, there have been 3517 people awarded with the medal. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, and our new podcast from Pushkin Industries and iHeartMedia is about those heroes, what they did, what it meant, and what their stories tell us about the nature of courage and sacrifice.

Without him and the leadership that he exhibited in bringing those votes in and assembling them to begin with and bringing them in saved a hell of a lot of lives, including my own.

Listen to Medal of Honor stories of courage on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

In October of 2016, when Dea was 62 years old, something happened that I think shows just how isolated she felt. DEA needed major back surgery because she suffered from lower back pain after falling off a horse years ago. On the day of the procedure, Chrisara went with her mother to Scripps Memorial Hospital in La Jolla. Not only was the surgery intense, Dea struggled during her recovery. The doctor's notes described DEa as crying continuously, lying on her side and sobbing and saying her pain was an 18 out of ten. The doctor recommended seeing a psychologist for depression. I've looked through the thousand plus pages of deers medical records from that surgery, and reading them was pretty heartbreaking. The doctor wrote in his notes, quote, discuss discharge plans and having adequate emotional support for her. She says everybody in her family is too busy. I really feel Fedea here, this woman, who is in her sixties with a family, feels that she is completely, utterly alone in the world. And it's also this precious moment where I feel I can almost hear DEA in her own words. Then there was this other thing that Deer says happened.

Oh, wait, I should make that clear. Harper says that Deer says happened. I know it's confusing. Sometime after Deer got out of surgery, Harper says Deer told him this story about Clinton coming to visit her in the hospital.

And she talked about how she was Thirsty and she asked if he could get her something to drink. And she said, you know, I was coming out of the drugs that they had given me. And she said, you know, I was a little disoriented for a while, but she said, you know, after I took the drink that he gave me, I slipped into a very deep coma. And I was in that coma for nearly two and a half days before I came out of and nearly died. They thought that they were going to lose me. And she said, I honestly believe that he administered me some form of drug that was intended to take my life.

Wow. And did she tell anybody else about that?

Oh, she told the doctor there was.

Nothing in the medical records about this accusation, but there was this note in her chart. Found her unresponsive to name and stimuli, unable to wake up, called 911, and sent to Ed for further evaluation. I had no luck tracking down dears doctor to find out more. I did ask Diana about the story, though. Was she concerned that Clinton may have tried to poison her while she was in hospital.

She was adamant that he did.

Wow.

That he slipped her something while she was there.

Of course, I asked Clinton about this, too. What is your response to these accusations that you tried to poison your mother when she was in hospital?

Just totally silly and not even worthy of a thought.

Clinton also disagreed with what DEA had told her doctor, that everyone in her family was too busy for her.

I think, unfortunately, she could be melodramatic. I don't doubt that the doctor made the assessment that she was depressed or sad, because I do feel that she had some sort of mood disorder. But with the medal. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, and our new podcast from Pushkin Industries and iHeartMedia is about those heroes, what they did, what it meant, and what their stories tell us about the nature of courage and sacrifice.Without him, and the leadership that he exhibited in bringing those boats in and assembling them to begin with and bringing them in saved a hell of a lot of lives, including my own.Listen to Medal of Honor stories of courage on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.Although DEA and Clem were still legally married, they lived their separate lives. And according to Julie Stanford, DEa had an active love life.She liked cowboys, that type. They were mostly pretty boys, you know, and they were useless.Julie is the third slice to the Dear Diana, Julie Pye, this tight knit trio who'd been such good friends before dear disappeared. Julie and dear had known each other for years.Basically, when I needed rescuing, she helped me. When she needed rescuing, I helped her. You know, that kind of thing, that kind of good friendship.Dea confided her love troubles to Julie. She didn't have a lot of luck when it came to finding the right guy.She would date guys that were online. And I told her, I said, dia, you date these guys? I said, don't bring them here. You know, it's like, don't show these people you met online what you have.But that's exactly what DEA did. According to Harper, they met sometime in the spring of 2016 on a dating site called farmers only. Harper told me about the first time they met face to face. He'd flown from Colorado to California. After months of talking to Dea online.She picked me up at the airport. She had Ruby in the back, her dog. And I looked at her and she had hay in her hair. And I said, boy, you are a country girl, aren't you? And she said, why do you ask that? And I said, because you got hay in your hair. And she laughed and said, really? He said, I fed the animals before I come, but I thought I'd brush my hair.Harper says they spent four blissful days together, horseback riding, hiking, and then the adventure was over. Harper flew back home to Colorado, but they kept in touch. And then he decided to come back for another visit. And then another until the end of 2016, a couple of months after Deer's surgery. He says he just moved in for good.You know, the ranch was pretty overwhelmed when I first came in. You could hardly see the cabin, but we started cleaning the place up because, you know, her. Kent was to use it as an Airbnb and get it just needed to work before done.Julie disputes the timeline when Harper moved in, saying it was more like 2018. Regardless, when Julie finally met Harper, she approved. Harper owns land and businesses in Arizona, New Mexico, and Colorado. Hes a soul of the earth kind of guy. Unlike the pretty boys deer usually went for, he gets his hands dirty.Harper knew how to do things, repair things, work around the ranch. And that was something she needed and someone to kind of lean on. She was lonely, and that still, that's void.Harper and DEA had something else in common, too. They both loved money. There was one occasion when Julie and DEa were showing Harper around Julie's place. Back then, Julie lived in a trailer on a beautiful property that used to be a cattle ranch.We were selling our brother place, and we took him down the road and looked, and he just saw dollar signs. He said, well, this place ought to be developed, you know, so, you know, he had that thing about money, money.Money all the time.There's this stretch of time where I don't really know what's going on up there at the ranch. I. Harper says that after he moved in, they just lived their lives traveling around the american west and managing the ranch. But then something happened that caused a domino effect of events. Dea's husband Clem died.She died on December 12, 2018. And she said to me, you know, it's Independence Day. It's the first day that I actually feel free.On that very same day, on DEA's Independence Day, she went back to that trust she created after her surgery, and she revisited the part that left her entire estate to her daughter. I've seen this document. I've seen how over the name Chrisara Abramsh, Dea scribbled four or five lines in black ink. She wrote denied, dated it, 1212 2018, and added her initials, d A. A few pages later next to that line, which said, trusta leaves nothing but her love and affection to her son, Clinton Abrams. DeA added in her own handwriting, and daughter, Chrysara Abrams. So at this point in time, if DEA were to suddenly drop dead, her children would get nothing. All these changes to Deas trust reflect in real time changes she wanted. Unlike wills, trusts impact your life immediately because they dictate how your assets are managed. In that same crazy month, December of 2018, as if enough hadn't happened already, Harper says he proposed to deer up on a hill overlooking the ranch on a rock formation.It was up to the butterfly rock. It's up by the waterfall. We would get married. The and it left cavities everywhere. And once he had asked Clinton if he would help make the repairs, he refused. He said, you know, if you're eating, that's all you need for right now.Harper also told me that in January 2020, the kids cut deer off financially. Clinton says this wasn't the case at all. He says that he sent his mother plenty of money.She was never cut off, not even for a second. I did know about the flood. I don't recall being asked to help. I do recall her discussing it as a potential reason why she couldn't attend Clem's memorial. And I said, you gotta find a way. This is your husband and I'm throwing a nice service. That's about really the extent. You know, they love to try and make it sound as if we were refusing her money or some such.Did she make it to your dad's memorial?She did, yeah.Again, we have these two opposing narratives. Whatever the reality of how much money the kids were sending deer, we do know that she felt it wasn't anywhere near what she deserved. To make things more complicated, there was a change in tax law that affected the amount DEA stood to gain from Clem's estate. So as Clem's legal wife, she was expecting to get around half of his estate, around $5 million. But after the change, she could potentially be left with nothing. Zero. So six months after Clem died, Dea filed a lawsuit against her own children to modify Clem's trust. And invalidate that prenup she'd signed with him all those years ago. DeA felt the prenup was unfair and that she'd been pressured into it. She wanted $6.7 million minimum. DEA and the kids volleyed objections and amendments back and forth through San Diego Superior Court. The kids did not want to comply with their mothers demands. DEA was stressed. She texted Diana about it in April of 2020. I'll tell you everything that's going on with the kids, DEA texted. It's anyone's worst nightmare. And Diana remembers another comment DEA made again about the kids.I had already been aware of the different things that the kids were doing to make her life miserable with the lawsuit. And she turned to me and she said, if anything ever happens to me, Clinton did it.So we're almost back to that June of 2020, back to the day when Deer disappeared. But there's one other thing I've got to tell you about before we can close that loop of time. Remember that Deer had crossed Cresara out of her trust and had very specifically noted that Clinton would get nothing? Well, DEa made one more major move. She changed her trust again. DEA named a new beneficiary, Keith Leslie Harper, and as an alternate trustee, second in command. If something happened to Harper, was Diana federated. This meant that if anything happened to DEA, Harper would assume control of her trust and benefit from her entire estate, all her antiques, bank accounts, jewelry and property, assets worth potentially millions of dollars. Two weeks after Dea made this change to her trust, she disappeared. Coming up on where's Dea?There was a piece of paper that said that she feared for her life.He would constantly call me, constantly text me, is dia dead? Is Dia alive? She says over and over, over and over again to me and others, that if I disappear, it is my son stewing.Where's dear? Is written and hosted by me, Lucy Sheriff. Our producer is Daphne Chen. Editing by Karen Shukurji. Production assistance from Joey Fishground fact checking by Lauren Vespoli. Our executive producer is Jacob Smith. Original score, sound design and mastering by echo shores. Wheres Deer? Is a co production of Pushkin Industries and iHeartmedia. You can listen to all of Wesdeer right now, ad free, by becoming a Pushkin plus subscriber. Find Pushkin on the Apple show page for wheres dear or at Pushkin FM. Plus.The Medal of Honor is the highest military decoration in the United States. Since it was established in 1861, there have been 3517 people awarded with the medal. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, and our new podcast from Bushkin Industries and I heart media is about those heroes, what they did, what it meant, and what their stories tell us about the nature of courage and sacrifice. Listen to Medal of Honor stories of courage on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts sponsored by Lifelock.

with the medal. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, and our new podcast from Pushkin Industries and iHeartMedia is about those heroes, what they did, what it meant, and what their stories tell us about the nature of courage and sacrifice.

Without him, and the leadership that he exhibited in bringing those boats in and assembling them to begin with and bringing them in saved a hell of a lot of lives, including my own.

Listen to Medal of Honor stories of courage on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Although DEA and Clem were still legally married, they lived their separate lives. And according to Julie Stanford, DEa had an active love life.

She liked cowboys, that type. They were mostly pretty boys, you know, and they were useless.

Julie is the third slice to the Dear Diana, Julie Pye, this tight knit trio who'd been such good friends before dear disappeared. Julie and dear had known each other for years.

Basically, when I needed rescuing, she helped me. When she needed rescuing, I helped her. You know, that kind of thing, that kind of good friendship.

Dea confided her love troubles to Julie. She didn't have a lot of luck when it came to finding the right guy.

She would date guys that were online. And I told her, I said, dia, you date these guys? I said, don't bring them here. You know, it's like, don't show these people you met online what you have.

But that's exactly what DEA did. According to Harper, they met sometime in the spring of 2016 on a dating site called farmers only. Harper told me about the first time they met face to face. He'd flown from Colorado to California. After months of talking to Dea online.

She picked me up at the airport. She had Ruby in the back, her dog. And I looked at her and she had hay in her hair. And I said, boy, you are a country girl, aren't you? And she said, why do you ask that? And I said, because you got hay in your hair. And she laughed and said, really? He said, I fed the animals before I come, but I thought I'd brush my hair.

Harper says they spent four blissful days together, horseback riding, hiking, and then the adventure was over. Harper flew back home to Colorado, but they kept in touch. And then he decided to come back for another visit. And then another until the end of 2016, a couple of months after Deer's surgery. He says he just moved in for good.

You know, the ranch was pretty overwhelmed when I first came in. You could hardly see the cabin, but we started cleaning the place up because, you know, her. Kent was to use it as an Airbnb and get it just needed to work before done.

Julie disputes the timeline when Harper moved in, saying it was more like 2018. Regardless, when Julie finally met Harper, she approved. Harper owns land and businesses in Arizona, New Mexico, and Colorado. Hes a soul of the earth kind of guy. Unlike the pretty boys deer usually went for, he gets his hands dirty.

Harper knew how to do things, repair things, work around the ranch. And that was something she needed and someone to kind of lean on. She was lonely, and that still, that's void.

Harper and DEA had something else in common, too. They both loved money. There was one occasion when Julie and DEa were showing Harper around Julie's place. Back then, Julie lived in a trailer on a beautiful property that used to be a cattle ranch.

We were selling our brother place, and we took him down the road and looked, and he just saw dollar signs. He said, well, this place ought to be developed, you know, so, you know, he had that thing about money, money.

Money all the time.

There's this stretch of time where I don't really know what's going on up there at the ranch. I. Harper says that after he moved in, they just lived their lives traveling around the american west and managing the ranch. But then something happened that caused a domino effect of events. Dea's husband Clem died.

She died on December 12, 2018. And she said to me, you know, it's Independence Day. It's the first day that I actually feel free.

On that very same day, on DEA's Independence Day, she went back to that trust she created after her surgery, and she revisited the part that left her entire estate to her daughter. I've seen this document. I've seen how over the name Chrisara Abramsh, Dea scribbled four or five lines in black ink. She wrote denied, dated it, 1212 2018, and added her initials, d A. A few pages later next to that line, which said, trusta leaves nothing but her love and affection to her son, Clinton Abrams. DeA added in her own handwriting, and daughter, Chrysara Abrams. So at this point in time, if DEA were to suddenly drop dead, her children would get nothing. All these changes to Deas trust reflect in real time changes she wanted. Unlike wills, trusts impact your life immediately because they dictate how your assets are managed. In that same crazy month, December of 2018, as if enough hadn't happened already, Harper says he proposed to deer up on a hill overlooking the ranch on a rock formation.

It was up to the butterfly rock. It's up by the waterfall. We would get married. The and it left cavities everywhere. And once he had asked Clinton if he would help make the repairs, he refused. He said, you know, if you're eating, that's all you need for right now.Harper also told me that in January 2020, the kids cut deer off financially. Clinton says this wasn't the case at all. He says that he sent his mother plenty of money.She was never cut off, not even for a second. I did know about the flood. I don't recall being asked to help. I do recall her discussing it as a potential reason why she couldn't attend Clem's memorial. And I said, you gotta find a way. This is your husband and I'm throwing a nice service. That's about really the extent. You know, they love to try and make it sound as if we were refusing her money or some such.Did she make it to your dad's memorial?She did, yeah.Again, we have these two opposing narratives. Whatever the reality of how much money the kids were sending deer, we do know that she felt it wasn't anywhere near what she deserved. To make things more complicated, there was a change in tax law that affected the amount DEA stood to gain from Clem's estate. So as Clem's legal wife, she was expecting to get around half of his estate, around $5 million. But after the change, she could potentially be left with nothing. Zero. So six months after Clem died, Dea filed a lawsuit against her own children to modify Clem's trust. And invalidate that prenup she'd signed with him all those years ago. DeA felt the prenup was unfair and that she'd been pressured into it. She wanted $6.7 million minimum. DEA and the kids volleyed objections and amendments back and forth through San Diego Superior Court. The kids did not want to comply with their mothers demands. DEA was stressed. She texted Diana about it in April of 2020. I'll tell you everything that's going on with the kids, DEA texted. It's anyone's worst nightmare. And Diana remembers another comment DEA made again about the kids.I had already been aware of the different things that the kids were doing to make her life miserable with the lawsuit. And she turned to me and she said, if anything ever happens to me, Clinton did it.So we're almost back to that June of 2020, back to the day when Deer disappeared. But there's one other thing I've got to tell you about before we can close that loop of time. Remember that Deer had crossed Cresara out of her trust and had very specifically noted that Clinton would get nothing? Well, DEa made one more major move. She changed her trust again. DEA named a new beneficiary, Keith Leslie Harper, and as an alternate trustee, second in command. If something happened to Harper, was Diana federated. This meant that if anything happened to DEA, Harper would assume control of her trust and benefit from her entire estate, all her antiques, bank accounts, jewelry and property, assets worth potentially millions of dollars. Two weeks after Dea made this change to her trust, she disappeared. Coming up on where's Dea?There was a piece of paper that said that she feared for her life.He would constantly call me, constantly text me, is dia dead? Is Dia alive? She says over and over, over and over again to me and others, that if I disappear, it is my son stewing.Where's dear? Is written and hosted by me, Lucy Sheriff. Our producer is Daphne Chen. Editing by Karen Shukurji. Production assistance from Joey Fishground fact checking by Lauren Vespoli. Our executive producer is Jacob Smith. Original score, sound design and mastering by echo shores. Wheres Deer? Is a co production of Pushkin Industries and iHeartmedia. You can listen to all of Wesdeer right now, ad free, by becoming a Pushkin plus subscriber. Find Pushkin on the Apple show page for wheres dear or at Pushkin FM. Plus.The Medal of Honor is the highest military decoration in the United States. Since it was established in 1861, there have been 3517 people awarded with the medal. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, and our new podcast from Bushkin Industries and I heart media is about those heroes, what they did, what it meant, and what their stories tell us about the nature of courage and sacrifice. Listen to Medal of Honor stories of courage on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts sponsored by Lifelock.

and it left cavities everywhere. And once he had asked Clinton if he would help make the repairs, he refused. He said, you know, if you're eating, that's all you need for right now.

Harper also told me that in January 2020, the kids cut deer off financially. Clinton says this wasn't the case at all. He says that he sent his mother plenty of money.

She was never cut off, not even for a second. I did know about the flood. I don't recall being asked to help. I do recall her discussing it as a potential reason why she couldn't attend Clem's memorial. And I said, you gotta find a way. This is your husband and I'm throwing a nice service. That's about really the extent. You know, they love to try and make it sound as if we were refusing her money or some such.

Did she make it to your dad's memorial?

She did, yeah.

Again, we have these two opposing narratives. Whatever the reality of how much money the kids were sending deer, we do know that she felt it wasn't anywhere near what she deserved. To make things more complicated, there was a change in tax law that affected the amount DEA stood to gain from Clem's estate. So as Clem's legal wife, she was expecting to get around half of his estate, around $5 million. But after the change, she could potentially be left with nothing. Zero. So six months after Clem died, Dea filed a lawsuit against her own children to modify Clem's trust. And invalidate that prenup she'd signed with him all those years ago. DeA felt the prenup was unfair and that she'd been pressured into it. She wanted $6.7 million minimum. DEA and the kids volleyed objections and amendments back and forth through San Diego Superior Court. The kids did not want to comply with their mothers demands. DEA was stressed. She texted Diana about it in April of 2020. I'll tell you everything that's going on with the kids, DEA texted. It's anyone's worst nightmare. And Diana remembers another comment DEA made again about the kids.

I had already been aware of the different things that the kids were doing to make her life miserable with the lawsuit. And she turned to me and she said, if anything ever happens to me, Clinton did it.

So we're almost back to that June of 2020, back to the day when Deer disappeared. But there's one other thing I've got to tell you about before we can close that loop of time. Remember that Deer had crossed Cresara out of her trust and had very specifically noted that Clinton would get nothing? Well, DEa made one more major move. She changed her trust again. DEA named a new beneficiary, Keith Leslie Harper, and as an alternate trustee, second in command. If something happened to Harper, was Diana federated. This meant that if anything happened to DEA, Harper would assume control of her trust and benefit from her entire estate, all her antiques, bank accounts, jewelry and property, assets worth potentially millions of dollars. Two weeks after Dea made this change to her trust, she disappeared. Coming up on where's Dea?

There was a piece of paper that said that she feared for her life.

He would constantly call me, constantly text me, is dia dead? Is Dia alive? She says over and over, over and over again to me and others, that if I disappear, it is my son stewing.

Where's dear? Is written and hosted by me, Lucy Sheriff. Our producer is Daphne Chen. Editing by Karen Shukurji. Production assistance from Joey Fishground fact checking by Lauren Vespoli. Our executive producer is Jacob Smith. Original score, sound design and mastering by echo shores. Wheres Deer? Is a co production of Pushkin Industries and iHeartmedia. You can listen to all of Wesdeer right now, ad free, by becoming a Pushkin plus subscriber. Find Pushkin on the Apple show page for wheres dear or at Pushkin FM. Plus.

The Medal of Honor is the highest military decoration in the United States. Since it was established in 1861, there have been 3517 people awarded with the medal. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, and our new podcast from Bushkin Industries and I heart media is about those heroes, what they did, what it meant, and what their stories tell us about the nature of courage and sacrifice. Listen to Medal of Honor stories of courage on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts sponsored by Lifelock.