This podcast is marked Explicit intentionally because some of the topics may be difficult for some listeners. We've provided resources and more information in the show notes. This podcast is a true story. Some names and details have been changed to conceal identities of those who wish to remain anonymous.

I believe everyone should have the opportunity to tell their own story. It's the worst way to meet an incredible group of women. You probably think this story is about you. I'm Brittany Ard. This story is theirs. Once I started connecting with these women, it was very clear that we had a lot of notes to compare and receipts to exchange as we tried to understand who it was that we had been with. I created a private Facebook group that was just the women that I had connected with. We shared stories and compared notes. I met with some of the women who felt open to talking in person. Some of the women have chosen not to. All of them, including myself, have been scared to have this conversation publicly. The biggest fear for most of women was that he'll know who it is that's talking. Nobody wants him to reach out to them. At this point, I've had this conversation 14 times. It never gets easier.

I didn't not a big New Year's Eve person. I just don't care that much. I'm not in my 20s anymore, so I can't party and pay the $20 cover to go somewhere that's free 364 days of the year. He kept being wishy-washy in the beginning of like, I think I'm going to make it. I think I'm going to make it. I'm like, If you don't think you're going to make it, just let me know, because like I told you, this is something really important to me. It means a lot didn't know at the time. And now looking back, I'm like, Oh, I can pinpoint exactly when he was dating someone new or exactly when he was at another girl's house. All these things looking back, you're like, Hmm. It's incredible in a very sad way, but it's incredible that he's able to do that and read people almost instantly.There are many different stories about his wife. What did he tell you about her?He told me that he was in Atlanta in the military, and she had gotten in a car crash and died in Hawaii. And his son was in Hawaii alone, basically. Grandparents were there, I think, but his son was basically alone. So he had to get honorably discharged from the military and move back to Hawaii to take care of his son until he graduated.When I think it can't get any crazier.I worked with people living with specific illness, and it's what I've done for about 15 years now. His son's mother, so his ex-wife, also had that illness, and so she had committed suicide because of her diagnosis. And so he felt really near and dear to his heart because he had a direct relation. And he said something about he felt guilty, like that he didn't do enough to help her, and that's one of the reasons she might commit suicide. And so he wanted to work with that population as well.It gets crazier.He told me that he was a Marine in the Middle East, and then he received a phone call that his ex-wife and his son were found in a car, that his ex-wife had overdosed, and his son was in the car with her. They rushed them both to the hospital, and she was in a coma for another 2-3 months. Then when she passed away, he left the military permanently and moved in with family in Hawaii.And crazier.I have found out that she is still alive and well and not living with that illness.And crazier.I'm so glad his wife was resurrected. I mean, that's just good for the kid.And also, I believe not his ex-wife. I haven't been able to find any confirmation that they ever got divorced. And so I think that they're still married.Even now, I struggle thinking that that's the same human being who has done all these horrible things. I got out just in time, it would seem, because I really, I promised myself at the first red flag, I would run for it. I knew when I saw that red flag, I had to break it off with him, and I did not want to. I didn't want to. But I was having this internal argument with myself, and he even said, I think you're going to regret this. And I agreed with him. I said, I probably will. But if I just said that I don't think I'm in a good place, and I wanted to believe him. But why? So that's my question. Why? It sounds like so much work. So much work. I'm exhausted thinking about all the lies that he tells.It's the worst way to meet an incredible group of women. But the validation is amazing, I think, for all of us to realize that we weren't the crazy ones. After the first six months, I had met enough women and learned enough. It was very apparent that Kanan was a monster. I stopped paying attention to that story, but I was still contacted by women over the following year. It's also really hard when a woman connects with me and she doesn't know the whole story because going through that initial experience with a woman is heartbreaking. The hardest one was Donna. She contacted me almost a year after I had broken up with Canan, and Canan had broken up with her around the same time as me, but he just told her that he loved her, but he needed to focus on other things, and she didn't know until a year later that everything was fake. So she grieved a two-and-a-a-half year relationship on an entirely different pretense than what was actually happening. My producer has reached out to Kanan several times to get comment from him with no response. If Kanan was willing to talk, I'd want to know if he understands the long term effects of his behavior, if he even has a second thought about it.I mean, some of these women aren't ready to put themselves out there again.Sadly, my picker is broken, and that's just typically what I choose. So I've chosen not to date. I won't go near the apps anymore because I know that I'm just wired to choose the guy who will try to ruin me.So I'm the same way. I've tried to change my wording around it because I used to say that my picker was broken, and I choose all of these things. And it's less of that and more of a we attract those types of people because we are such bright lights and so empathetic towards people. And I think for me, anyways, I give a lot of myself in relationships. And when there's somebody that is returning that and you finally feel seen, and you finally feel like somebody is just complementary and all of those things.I probably dated one other person after him for a a little tiny bit, and he started pulling some weird stuff, too. I think now I'm very quick to just be like, I'm out. It's not worth it to me. I'm fine at home with my cats and being an aunt. If that's all I ever am for my lifetime, then that's what it is. But especially in this day and age, in this dating atmosphere, it just feels impossible. If I don't see your social media, swipe right on you, do a deep dive on you, you don't meet people anymore. So it's like rock and hard place. The meme that's like, I never leave my house, but I figure the perfect man will break in and find me. That's how I feel at this point. It's going to be some maintenance man who needs to come fix my garbage disposal, and we fall madly in love. The joys of dating. Even my pessimism didn't keep me out of it. No one's safe. Nobody's safe.Kanan's lies and manipulation didn't just affect the people that he dated. I met with a woman, Sarah, who was his work wife, whose life and career will be forever changed.It was really wonderful. Like I said, we developed a really close friendship. He told me I was the only person he trusted at work. Once I started bringing up concerns about that stuff to him, he churned on me really quick. I never want to have a coworker ever again because I don't trust people that I work with now.You probably think the Stories About You is a production of LargeMedia. That's L-A-R-J Media. Our executive producer is Brittany Ard. Our showrunner is Sid Gladue. Creative direction by Tina Noel. Our associate producer Associate producer is Kareen Kiltau. Sound engineering by Chris Young and Sean Simmons. Graphic design by Najela Sharma. Opening theme by Youth Star and Miscellaneous. If you want to know more about Brit, follow her on social media. You can find her at britny. Ard on all platforms. If you like what we're doing, don't forget to hit that follow button wherever you're listening to this podcast right now. And also, give us a rate or review on Apple podcast or Spotify.

not a big New Year's Eve person. I just don't care that much. I'm not in my 20s anymore, so I can't party and pay the $20 cover to go somewhere that's free 364 days of the year. He kept being wishy-washy in the beginning of like, I think I'm going to make it. I think I'm going to make it. I'm like, If you don't think you're going to make it, just let me know, because like I told you, this is something really important to me. It means a lot didn't know at the time. And now looking back, I'm like, Oh, I can pinpoint exactly when he was dating someone new or exactly when he was at another girl's house. All these things looking back, you're like, Hmm. It's incredible in a very sad way, but it's incredible that he's able to do that and read people almost instantly.There are many different stories about his wife. What did he tell you about her?He told me that he was in Atlanta in the military, and she had gotten in a car crash and died in Hawaii. And his son was in Hawaii alone, basically. Grandparents were there, I think, but his son was basically alone. So he had to get honorably discharged from the military and move back to Hawaii to take care of his son until he graduated.When I think it can't get any crazier.I worked with people living with specific illness, and it's what I've done for about 15 years now. His son's mother, so his ex-wife, also had that illness, and so she had committed suicide because of her diagnosis. And so he felt really near and dear to his heart because he had a direct relation. And he said something about he felt guilty, like that he didn't do enough to help her, and that's one of the reasons she might commit suicide. And so he wanted to work with that population as well.It gets crazier.He told me that he was a Marine in the Middle East, and then he received a phone call that his ex-wife and his son were found in a car, that his ex-wife had overdosed, and his son was in the car with her. They rushed them both to the hospital, and she was in a coma for another 2-3 months. Then when she passed away, he left the military permanently and moved in with family in Hawaii.And crazier.I have found out that she is still alive and well and not living with that illness.And crazier.I'm so glad his wife was resurrected. I mean, that's just good for the kid.And also, I believe not his ex-wife. I haven't been able to find any confirmation that they ever got divorced. And so I think that they're still married.Even now, I struggle thinking that that's the same human being who has done all these horrible things. I got out just in time, it would seem, because I really, I promised myself at the first red flag, I would run for it. I knew when I saw that red flag, I had to break it off with him, and I did not want to. I didn't want to. But I was having this internal argument with myself, and he even said, I think you're going to regret this. And I agreed with him. I said, I probably will. But if I just said that I don't think I'm in a good place, and I wanted to believe him. But why? So that's my question. Why? It sounds like so much work. So much work. I'm exhausted thinking about all the lies that he tells.It's the worst way to meet an incredible group of women. But the validation is amazing, I think, for all of us to realize that we weren't the crazy ones. After the first six months, I had met enough women and learned enough. It was very apparent that Kanan was a monster. I stopped paying attention to that story, but I was still contacted by women over the following year. It's also really hard when a woman connects with me and she doesn't know the whole story because going through that initial experience with a woman is heartbreaking. The hardest one was Donna. She contacted me almost a year after I had broken up with Canan, and Canan had broken up with her around the same time as me, but he just told her that he loved her, but he needed to focus on other things, and she didn't know until a year later that everything was fake. So she grieved a two-and-a-a-half year relationship on an entirely different pretense than what was actually happening. My producer has reached out to Kanan several times to get comment from him with no response. If Kanan was willing to talk, I'd want to know if he understands the long term effects of his behavior, if he even has a second thought about it.I mean, some of these women aren't ready to put themselves out there again.Sadly, my picker is broken, and that's just typically what I choose. So I've chosen not to date. I won't go near the apps anymore because I know that I'm just wired to choose the guy who will try to ruin me.So I'm the same way. I've tried to change my wording around it because I used to say that my picker was broken, and I choose all of these things. And it's less of that and more of a we attract those types of people because we are such bright lights and so empathetic towards people. And I think for me, anyways, I give a lot of myself in relationships. And when there's somebody that is returning that and you finally feel seen, and you finally feel like somebody is just complementary and all of those things.I probably dated one other person after him for a a little tiny bit, and he started pulling some weird stuff, too. I think now I'm very quick to just be like, I'm out. It's not worth it to me. I'm fine at home with my cats and being an aunt. If that's all I ever am for my lifetime, then that's what it is. But especially in this day and age, in this dating atmosphere, it just feels impossible. If I don't see your social media, swipe right on you, do a deep dive on you, you don't meet people anymore. So it's like rock and hard place. The meme that's like, I never leave my house, but I figure the perfect man will break in and find me. That's how I feel at this point. It's going to be some maintenance man who needs to come fix my garbage disposal, and we fall madly in love. The joys of dating. Even my pessimism didn't keep me out of it. No one's safe. Nobody's safe.Kanan's lies and manipulation didn't just affect the people that he dated. I met with a woman, Sarah, who was his work wife, whose life and career will be forever changed.It was really wonderful. Like I said, we developed a really close friendship. He told me I was the only person he trusted at work. Once I started bringing up concerns about that stuff to him, he churned on me really quick. I never want to have a coworker ever again because I don't trust people that I work with now.You probably think the Stories About You is a production of LargeMedia. That's L-A-R-J Media. Our executive producer is Brittany Ard. Our showrunner is Sid Gladue. Creative direction by Tina Noel. Our associate producer Associate producer is Kareen Kiltau. Sound engineering by Chris Young and Sean Simmons. Graphic design by Najela Sharma. Opening theme by Youth Star and Miscellaneous. If you want to know more about Brit, follow her on social media. You can find her at britny. Ard on all platforms. If you like what we're doing, don't forget to hit that follow button wherever you're listening to this podcast right now. And also, give us a rate or review on Apple podcast or Spotify.

didn't know at the time. And now looking back, I'm like, Oh, I can pinpoint exactly when he was dating someone new or exactly when he was at another girl's house. All these things looking back, you're like, Hmm. It's incredible in a very sad way, but it's incredible that he's able to do that and read people almost instantly.

There are many different stories about his wife. What did he tell you about her?

He told me that he was in Atlanta in the military, and she had gotten in a car crash and died in Hawaii. And his son was in Hawaii alone, basically. Grandparents were there, I think, but his son was basically alone. So he had to get honorably discharged from the military and move back to Hawaii to take care of his son until he graduated.

When I think it can't get any crazier.

I worked with people living with specific illness, and it's what I've done for about 15 years now. His son's mother, so his ex-wife, also had that illness, and so she had committed suicide because of her diagnosis. And so he felt really near and dear to his heart because he had a direct relation. And he said something about he felt guilty, like that he didn't do enough to help her, and that's one of the reasons she might commit suicide. And so he wanted to work with that population as well.

It gets crazier.

He told me that he was a Marine in the Middle East, and then he received a phone call that his ex-wife and his son were found in a car, that his ex-wife had overdosed, and his son was in the car with her. They rushed them both to the hospital, and she was in a coma for another 2-3 months. Then when she passed away, he left the military permanently and moved in with family in Hawaii.

And crazier.

I have found out that she is still alive and well and not living with that illness.

And crazier.

I'm so glad his wife was resurrected. I mean, that's just good for the kid.

And also, I believe not his ex-wife. I haven't been able to find any confirmation that they ever got divorced. And so I think that they're still married.

Even now, I struggle thinking that that's the same human being who has done all these horrible things. I got out just in time, it would seem, because I really, I promised myself at the first red flag, I would run for it. I knew when I saw that red flag, I had to break it off with him, and I did not want to. I didn't want to. But I was having this internal argument with myself, and he even said, I think you're going to regret this. And I agreed with him. I said, I probably will. But if I just said that I don't think I'm in a good place, and I wanted to believe him. But why? So that's my question. Why? It sounds like so much work. So much work. I'm exhausted thinking about all the lies that he tells.

It's the worst way to meet an incredible group of women. But the validation is amazing, I think, for all of us to realize that we weren't the crazy ones. After the first six months, I had met enough women and learned enough. It was very apparent that Kanan was a monster. I stopped paying attention to that story, but I was still contacted by women over the following year. It's also really hard when a woman connects with me and she doesn't know the whole story because going through that initial experience with a woman is heartbreaking. The hardest one was Donna. She contacted me almost a year after I had broken up with Canan, and Canan had broken up with her around the same time as me, but he just told her that he loved her, but he needed to focus on other things, and she didn't know until a year later that everything was fake. So she grieved a two-and-a-a-half year relationship on an entirely different pretense than what was actually happening. My producer has reached out to Kanan several times to get comment from him with no response. If Kanan was willing to talk, I'd want to know if he understands the long term effects of his behavior, if he even has a second thought about it.

I mean, some of these women aren't ready to put themselves out there again.

Sadly, my picker is broken, and that's just typically what I choose. So I've chosen not to date. I won't go near the apps anymore because I know that I'm just wired to choose the guy who will try to ruin me.

So I'm the same way. I've tried to change my wording around it because I used to say that my picker was broken, and I choose all of these things. And it's less of that and more of a we attract those types of people because we are such bright lights and so empathetic towards people. And I think for me, anyways, I give a lot of myself in relationships. And when there's somebody that is returning that and you finally feel seen, and you finally feel like somebody is just complementary and all of those things.

I probably dated one other person after him for a a little tiny bit, and he started pulling some weird stuff, too. I think now I'm very quick to just be like, I'm out. It's not worth it to me. I'm fine at home with my cats and being an aunt. If that's all I ever am for my lifetime, then that's what it is. But especially in this day and age, in this dating atmosphere, it just feels impossible. If I don't see your social media, swipe right on you, do a deep dive on you, you don't meet people anymore. So it's like rock and hard place. The meme that's like, I never leave my house, but I figure the perfect man will break in and find me. That's how I feel at this point. It's going to be some maintenance man who needs to come fix my garbage disposal, and we fall madly in love. The joys of dating. Even my pessimism didn't keep me out of it. No one's safe. Nobody's safe.

Kanan's lies and manipulation didn't just affect the people that he dated. I met with a woman, Sarah, who was his work wife, whose life and career will be forever changed.

It was really wonderful. Like I said, we developed a really close friendship. He told me I was the only person he trusted at work. Once I started bringing up concerns about that stuff to him, he churned on me really quick. I never want to have a coworker ever again because I don't trust people that I work with now.

You probably think the Stories About You is a production of LargeMedia. That's L-A-R-J Media. Our executive producer is Brittany Ard. Our showrunner is Sid Gladue. Creative direction by Tina Noel. Our associate producer Associate producer is Kareen Kiltau. Sound engineering by Chris Young and Sean Simmons. Graphic design by Najela Sharma. Opening theme by Youth Star and Miscellaneous. If you want to know more about Brit, follow her on social media. You can find her at britny. Ard on all platforms. If you like what we're doing, don't forget to hit that follow button wherever you're listening to this podcast right now. And also, give us a rate or review on Apple podcast or Spotify.