You know how there's this truth where nobody has the exact same microwave? You go over to someone's house, it's always a different microwave, and it's just... Oh my God. It's never the same.

That is really weird. You've seen somebody with your microwave before?

I don't think we're paying attention to that, really.

No, because when you use somebody's microwave, you're like, Oh, where's your buttons? You never know how to use someone else's microwave.

Oh, I got it.

Also, I've taken a shower at people's houses, too. You never know how the fuck someone's shower works.

Hot? Is it cold?

Which fucking knob do I turn?