Sox in a Bleach Bon hair.5.

6, 7, 8.Sox.

In a Bleach Bon hair.Sox.

In a Bleach Bon hair.Go..

Mike in a Shitty Podcast. Mike in a Shitty Podcast.Go.Tox.

In a Red Vevel shirt.Tox.

In a Red Vevel shirt. That was good.

What's yours?Slippers.

In a B, B, top.Slippers.

In a B, B, top. I still didn't get that.

You guys should change the intro song to your show to this.

Okay. It won't take much for me to want to change it.

Summer, my Mac Miller song?

Guys, welcome back to Zane Heath on Filter. Jordan is here with us, and he's going to show us his brand new rap song that he made.

A live performance.

He's going to give us a little clip, and then he's going to perform the rest.

Okay.

Jordan, you are giving it Laure Farkwell.

Berries and cream.

It's my favorite look that you have so far.

Thank you.

Yeah, he sounds exactly like Mac Miller and Kodak Black. No way. I'm not joking. Thank you.

I can't wait to hear this.

Before we get into Jordan free styling, Jordan's here today because Matt is out of town for his birthday. Happy birthday, Matt. Happy birthday, Matt.

Happy birthday, Matt.

I love you, Pookey. Get that cancer skin checked again.

Poogie and a skin surgery. Cancer in a little blue top. Cancer in a Stripe Blue.

Cancer in a Stripe Blue shirt.

We can't do it fast enough. It's in here and I can't put it out. Skin cancer in a little Stripe T. Skin cancer in a little Stripe T.

Skinny cancer. Jordan just wants to play a song.

But before we continue, happy birthday to Matt.

Okay, are you practicing?

No, no, no, no. Okay. I'm very nervous. This is my...

This is the least judgmental group.

This is a debut rap. It's called Work in Progress One is what they sent me. Okay.

So this is completely off the top of your head. A hundred % freestyle.

Everything off the... I went into a phone box booth, no air condition for four hours, and just freestyle and wrapped.In this heat?And they put beats on it. I almost had a heat stroke.

Jordan's bringing that heat in there.

I had told my roommate, Savannah, that this is what I wanted for my birthday, I just wanted to finally... I rap with her when I come home, and I wanted to have it recorded once.

That's nice. For a birthday present, she got you a session. Yes.

That's really cool.

That is really... I was like, What is the backstory? That's great. Happy A month ago.

A month ago. Okay. Yesterday was my dog's birthday. Happy birthday, Pauly.

Happy birthday, Pauly.

Thank you. Pauly? Yeah. All right.

Here we go.

High as hell. I'm feeling well. I'm like, Hey, what should I do?No, Zane, you're going to be like, No, it's stupid.I know, but I will be open to it.I would just like, Embroider with her. Embroider?Entertainment it. But we ended up going back to my house and we were watching a TV show, and I was laying on my bed, and she was sitting on the couch in my room. I said, Why don't you come up on the bed? We got Just not subtle at all.Why don't you come up on the... Just straight to the point.Not even like, Are you comfortable?Do you use protection? I mean, it was crazy because I wasn't expecting what happened, but she got on the bed and then immediately straddled me. She was waiting. Yes.Jordan was waiting 10 years for this moment. He couldn't wait.Jordan writing a fanfic and straddled me.So I flinched because she touched me. Well, I was like, and she touched me. She was like, Is something wrong? I was like, I just thought when you were coming on the bed, you were going to just sit next to me. But no, I just didn't expect that.No, your reaction is very valid. I don't know. I just was. I would have left.Left your own house. Why don't you stay here tonight?No, we thoroughly enjoyed the evening. When I said it, I didn't realize that I meant that. It happened so fast. Well, I'm so used to having everyone hang out on my bed.Comment down below if you've been in Jordan's room in Florida. There are minimum 10 people on the bed at all times.First day went really well, and it was a great reunion, and we planned date number two. Date number two is beach date. Hold on. Pause.She straddled you.Yeah, yeah, yeah.You flared out, and then what?He said it was a great day.We had a great evening.She was like, Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. Then you guys are talking.We had a fantastic evening.Jordan doesn't want to just go straight for it. He wants to have a connection first before he-No, I think he did go straight for it.We did go straight. There was no connection.I can't tell if we know Jordan or not.The connection was simmering for years in elementary school.She was feeling the burn, too. Oh, yeah.I think we were soul bonded for a little bit because I went to the dentist once, and she was getting a procedure done on her while I was there.Invisible.Strength theory.Yeah..All right.Invisible line.Invisible line.You could cut that sexual frustration with a knife.Date.Number two is the beach. And then this is where things The people listening.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.We've been waiting for a bit.We've.Been waiting for a bit.We.Do keep interrupting.I'm.Sorry.go, go, no, no.Let's go. It is the perfect beach day. Everything is going right. I think we went to got the subs. We're right there laying on the beach. Everything, we got perfect parking. I'm going to go put time in my car. I find out when I go to open my car that I left my keys in my car.Not surprising.So then, I'm thinking in my head, I got to call Tripoy, whatever. I'm going to go tell her, I want to hang out at the beach a little longer.Because you didn't want her to know because you were embarrassed.Were you embarrassed? Yes, I didn't want her to to know. I called Tripoy just to get the time estimate. They gave me one hour. Perfect because I was going to put time anyways. I'm like, Hey, I put one more hour. Perfect, whatever. We're laying down. The hour hour runs out, and I ran back to the car just like 30 times after the...What was your excuse to go back?This girl was like, I'm just trying to straddle you on the beach.Yeah, right? She just wants to straddle. They give you like 45 minutes to 6 minutes. At the 45, I ran back to the car, looked around, no one, ran back to the beach. Every single time I was like, I'm going to go get water. I'm going to go do something. I'd come back with something. Just tell her. Person, they called me, and then they said, We're still a little late. We're running behind 45 more minutes. Our hour capped, and I'm like, We should stay a little bit longer.I'm burning. I'm really enjoying.It was really bad because she was white.After a lot of time, now is the perfect time to be like, Oh, please.I became much more physical, just hugging, more cuddly, like we need to buy some time. Now she just got the improv beach massage. She didn't know where in the parking lot. Yes. I am sorry.I could have- Mariah, so far for him. For us, 20 feet.It was the third parking spot.He just couldn't find his car. He was walking forever. It was in the third spot.I don't want to feel like the problem in society, but it was just I put the basket in my car or drive around and give them. If it wasn't target, maybe I wouldn't have done it if it was Ross. More respect for Ross.Oh, I get that.I actually get that. There was a level of target wouldn't care too much. The target CEO would be like, put it in.Jordan, I had one of those situations happen to me, too. That same thing, except it wasn't a car. It was a $400 tent that they-Oh, I remember that. That they forgot to scan. There's no way. I got to my car and I was like, they They missed it. But it's not like I was hiding it. I just generally missed it. And then I decided to just go home.Do you still have that tent? No.Where is it? No, I actually left it in the apartment. That was something that I like... You know we had that in the garage. We had stuff. It just stayed there.I don't think I cleared that thing either.Wait, did your stuff get stolen from it?My bike got stolen from there.We probably didn't want to... It was probably just It had bad vibes there.My truck got stolen because you stole a tent.No, that's not how karma works.Accidental theft is different. It's a little different. There's layers to it.Accidental theft is the biggest form of flattery.I have heard that.Because there's still... That's actually crazy. We internalize guilt. But then in a way... Oh, I do. But in a way, whenever I accidentally steal something, you can confirm it, I will call my mom and she'll decide if it's...She flips a coin.Well, my mom describes it. It's like, Oh, my God, it's a blessing from God. Just go. Just go. I love that. Good thing.And then the police.Remember we just went to the store and we noticed, you know how you could put stuff under the shopping cart, and a lot of people just do that on purpose to take it. They started putting cameras by the ground, and it points right at the bottom of your cart. Oh, very good. I just thought it. I think we were at maybe It might have been Target. It might have been Target.It happened so much, so I'm not surprised. The amount of people that try to do that, that get away with it.My sister was at the store, and she sent me a video in her car. She was picking out a tie for her husband. I'm still not used to that. Her husband. And she gets in the car and she goes to drive, and she went to put her seat belt on, and she had a tie on her shoulder. She accidentally... Because going through the ties, she was saving the ones that she liked, and she ended up finding one that she liked. She paid for it, but she walked out with one draped over her shoulder. That's really funny.Does she have both of them?I'm assuming she returned it. Her anxiety, she would have lost sleep.Was the target basket the time that you went to go get your phone back? Is that when you took it?We told that story, right?Yeah, we did. We did.Where Jordan got... If you want to know story of how Jordan's phone got stolen and the guy basically held him hostage in a target to get it back.That was crazy. I don't know if that was a bonus or a regular.That's actually what we told that on. Before we continue, we want to give a big thank you to our next sponsor of this podcast, Hello Fresh.It's Hello Fresh. Fresh Foods coming your way. Say hello to the best food delivery service today. Let's go.Zane, that was really good. Hello Hello Fresh should use that for the commercial.You know what?They should, Heath. If you guys don't know what Hello Fresh is, Hello Fresh is a food delivery service where you get farm fresh, pre-portion ingredients, and seasonal recipes delivered right to your doorstep. Skip trips to the grocery store and count on Hello Fresh to make home cooking easy, fun, and affordable. That's why it's America's number one meal kit.Ditch the meal planning woes and dive into Hello Fresh's biggest menu yet with over 50 recipes and even more market items to choose from every single week.Guys, make delicious food a priority this summer with quick, convenient recipes delivered your door. Just choose your meals and select the delivery date. Hello Fresh handles all the meal planning, shopping, and most of the prep, so all you have to do is open your box and get cooking.Savor the taste of summer with fresh seasonal produce picked at peak ripeness and delivered straight from the farm to your door in less than a week.For all of you listening that got kids, listen up. Hello Fresh's line of kid-friendly recipes are picky, eater-proof, and perfect for families looking to shake up their dinner recipe rotation while school's out for the summer.My favorite part about Hello Fresh is the fact that I get to try new food that I never thought I'd be able to cook ever in my life. They give you absolutely everything you need in that little box. Nothing is going to waste. You're using everything, and it just feels really rewarding to make something that looks so good, tastes so good, and it comes out exactly like the picture.You guys know that it's good because he's mom still orders Hello Fresh every single month. She keeps it stocked up in there.If you're ready to try it out and sign up today, you're going to unlock free appetizers for life. Get the party started or enjoy a little pre-dinner treat with an advertiser of your choice in every single Hello Fresh box for free.I heard free, and that got my juice is flowing, baby. Go to hellofresh. Com/unfilteredapps for free appetizers for life. One advertiser item per box while subscription is active.That's free AppetizersForLife at hellofresh. Com/unfilteredapps for all those subscriptions.Thank you, Hello Fresh, for sponsoring today's episode. We love you and we love to eat you.Period.Tell the story. Some people have heard it, some people haven't.I'll try to tell it a little different, but I have two phones.Got two phones.One of them was taken from me at Target.Which one? Your personal or your business one?The whole phone.The whole phone?Work phone.Would you say you felt targeted?I felt targeted. I felt targeted, and this happened while I was shopping. I noticed almost immediately after shopping, and I went to Target Security to request for footage. I was denied. I called them.Normally, they don't care.Over and over and over. I had my phone's location, and that person had contacted me in a very jigsaw, saw voice.I.Love the...Play with me.Detail.It was awful.I wish I knew the word that I was trying to say.Description.Yeah, that was it.This is my last episode.Just jigsaw voice and non-threatening but playful and...Give us a taste.Hello? I found your phone at... I found... No, it didn't sound. Okay, wait.Let me try again. Jordan, Jordan, Jordan, call me. Call me.This is just... Call me. Call her.All right, Jordan is going to be...Okay.Hello?Hey. I found... That's good.No, that's exactly what it was. Just roll with it. Hello, there will be blood.No, no, no. Hold on. I'm actually trying to think. It was like, Hey. I... Hey, I... I think I found your... Are you missing a phone? Yeah. I can't talk right now. I really can't talk right now. I'm at work. But yeah, I found your phone. Hold on. I have to go because I'm at work. That's literally what happened. Hung up. I would call three times, text, and I would be like, Hey, I can just come pick this up real quick. Don't bother me. I'm at work. I was getting responses like that.He was playing with him.Yes. I was making me feel bad for asking him.Yeah, why would you bother him at work? Yes.I feel like I did his voice wrong because it was intimidating in a way. But it's okay. But he spoke like he had one on me. Then he was just playing with me like that. We had three conversations, and I knew he wasn't at work because I saw where my where my phone was. It was just at someone's house, and I was like, I could see where my phone is. And then it started getting like-We googled the location, remember?And we looked at the front of the house and we were like, Jordan, do not go alone.Yes. And so once I said I know the location and all that, the tone of the phone calls were just like, Come get your phone back for $100. Come get your... I'll meet you here. It was just an instant demand.I mean, likeIt switched.Switched. Yeah, I'll I'll call me you at this time. Bring the money. Before all of this, I went to the Target. Target did nothing. I called the police. It was a non-emergency, which I understand. I'm sorry, Police Department of Los Angeles. To me, it was an emergency.The thing is, though, in that situation, it's not. You have to think about what does this person have in their house at the same time. You know what I mean? If I was a cop and I heard that, I'd be like, This isn't really an emergency, and you lost your phone, but this person took your phone and is not asking for money. To me, this is enough a good reason for me to go to the house and see what's this kid got going on in the house.Jordan asked the police to escort him. He wanted somebody to sit outside the house so he can go in. He just wanted to be escorted.The police actually called me back because when the 911 calls go, I guess every cop hears. Yeah. A cop called me back and told me, Hey, just heard your call. Go back down to the police station, request for an escort, go to the house. I go to the police station. I'm sorry, son. We cannot help you here. You got to put in your lost item request. We'll get to it in one week. In my head, like that.That.Literally, that pissed me off.Minutes and seconds are killing me. I know it's not an emergency, but in this day and age, losing your phone, the personal information, just in case, if the phone was ever unlocked, it's like I would feel threatened on every single All my accounts, jeopardized. Every single login, jeopardized.Also, we rely on the phone so much. Most people can't get around without their phone GPS or to contact their...It's very important. Honestly, thank God you had a second phone.It is very important.At this time.Yeah, I know.We were at Out of town. Do you remember?Out of town. Yeah. So I was like just... Honestly, I should have called Zane to escort me to Target. To the house? To Target when I went to buy my phone back.So go ahead. So explain, you told him, no, you're going to meet me in a public place.Yeah, I'm at the police station. They deny any help. I call him. I think that at this time, it's like 6:00. Yet the sun is coming down. When the sun goes down and the night comes and you still don't have your phone.He's not like, give us your own time. And the night falls.There's just an anxiety that goes through your head on, Why am I getting my phone back? What is going on?Wasn't there a point where you called and then it was a woman's voice?Yes. Multiple people were talking on the phone every single time I called, and it was horrifying.It's a workplace, so you know you're going to get the secretary.Of course, yeah. Then eventually, we go to the target.You agree to meet back at the location of the crime.It didn't take a little bit for you to... You said, No, come inside because he was trying to get you to go outside.Yes. That's another thing. It was a whole I can't believe you're negotiating with this guy. This is crazy. I know.But what are you going to do? No one's helping you.You cannot... Unless there was a cop there, you can't call the cops. Does that make sense? Yeah. If there was a police officer present, I could accuse him, but I can't call the cops and say, he stole this from me, and he's not giving it back.Got it. You just can't do that.In this world, things do just fall on you, and it sucks. It was something that felt like in the Middle Ages. I was bartering. I've never been on the... I've been on the black market because that is the black market. That's That's what it felt like.You traded them three goats for your phone back.I don't understand how-Hold on.Get to the part where you're actually in target.Okay, so we're in target. I meet him, huge guy, busted in nose. His nose was sideways.Nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with that.Just descriptive.Jordan said he was scary. He was scary. He had scars. Didn't you say he freshly looked like he got hit?He looked like he got hit. Well, yeah. He looked like no eyebrows. It was very interesting. He wasn't mean or anything. When he met me, very nice. Criminals, and this happened when I was robbed, they just put on a persona that they're cool with you. It's very mentally deceiving because you're not cool with me. You stole my phone and you're making me buy it back. If we were cool, you'd say, I found this and I'm giving it to you.How did you find each other? Because you don't know what each other looks like. How did you find each other when he walked in? Did you meet in an aisle?We're on the phone. Oh, you're on the phone? I called.Okay.So you saw him.You saw him shooting your pants. Oh my God.You turned like this and you're moving your lips like, not that.A different conversation.So I got in line.I got in line.This is my favorite part, though, when they're standing in line.They're standing in line, and I'm like...Jordan turns around and goes.I said, Do you want anything? Because I needed to get...You needed to buy something to get cash.He had to buy something to get cash back. So Jordan's looking in the aisles and he turns to the criminal and says, Do you want anything?Look, it was my turn to Jesus moment. Let me be nice to the criminal. Let me do some reverse psychology. There you go. What do you want?What can I get for you? That's what kids who get kidnapped, they snap into that survival mode where they start getting in their head and they start asking them personal questions, and we are friends, and it works.It is an interesting... This happened to me. Not to dwell on the robbery, but when I was robbed, there are armed weapons to your head, and they're asking you questions that are normal.That is so manipulative. That's mentally normal, and it's like, what is going on?So very same situation like that. Did he get anything? You just have to get on this mental double bubble. Yeah.double bubble.Double bubble. And you guys had just talked about double bubble in the podcast before that.What flavor? It was the bubble gum.Bubble gum. It says a lot about him. Bubble gum. The pink one.He's fruity. Guys, if anybody picks a bubble gum, something is not right. It's a red flag.I think you should hit a bubble gum and tell them the story. I think they'll come up with a flavor for you.Survival?The survival of flavor.Well, after I left, I was scared about being chased home, followed home.Oh, yeah, I would be.So I hung out in the CVS for an hour across the street. Smart.How did you do the exchange?In front of the cashier, were you just like...Right.There.you.Passed it to him?He.Just gave it to me, and that was it, and we just left. It felt very unrewarding. It felt for no reason. It felt like someone was just like, I have your laptop. No, I'm not giving it back.Why would I give it back? I also felt like you were let down by people that actually could have helped. Any police or anybody on Target.I can't believe they did nothing.That's crazy. Target wouldn't even... The problem is not that they didn't care, but they didn't say, Let us look. Let us look. Let us check.How were you dressed?I'm sorry, I got West, but a homeless person.I was like, Jordan, I feel like how you were dressed that day probably didn't help you.But to have such evidence and then tell them that the police don't Oh, we don't want to help me. Oh, but we don't want to help you then. Okay. All right. I guess no one's helping me.I want to know, was the exchange this at the same time or was it like, Here's the cash, and then he gave the phone? Was there a trust thing where you were like, were hoping he would give you the phone after paying?Or was it just like-Yeah, I didn't even think about it. I just got the cash.It was just $100.It.Gave a 10. Was it $100? I thought it was 50 or something. It was not $100.Jordan, I would be pissed after all that, just $100. If it was $500, I'd be like, damn, this guy really worked hard for that $500. But $50, $100, I'd be pissed. After how many hours?Which phone is it? You have it? The actual phone? We have it. That's it right there. Can I hold it? Yeah.6 hours, 100 bucks. You get paid more in a normal job than that money. And that was a crime.This is it.Petty crime.I risked my life for that phone. That was a white-collar crime. I would die for it.It was.Hi, Pauley.Happy birthday. You want to talk about my dad?You want to talk about my dad? Well, what's really funny is we were just talking because his birthday party, the soup off. Sorry.No, this is funny. We do that every year. Have we ever talked about how Jordan does a soup off every year?This It was his first soup off for his birthday party. It was the Super Bowl.Super Bowl. The Super Bowl. We feel really bad because Jordan ended up getting last place in the competition. It was a blind taste test, and his got ripped apart. He over cooked his soup by 45 minutes when it was only supposed to be cooked for 30 minutes. Then. Sorry. So when you over cook a soup, it doesn't like-The noodles. The noodles that were in it.Oh, okay. The soup was still like the-Soup was good, I think.It had the consistency of like a flon.The noodles? It was bad. It was Oh, God.But yeah. Anyways, we were just talking about how his birthday fell on Father's Day. Jordan has a very interesting relationship with his father. So we said, Did you call your father for Father's Day? Did you talk to him? And he's like, No, I was waiting for him. He never called me. I was like, Jordan, that's not how it works. You call your father on Father's Day. Your father doesn't call you.But it's his birthday.Exactly.So I was- It's a- It's a heath. It's his birthday. It's a toss-up. No, the dad has to call him first. The birthday is more important than a father's day. It was like a standoff.Agreed.However, he doesn't have a normal relationship with his father. I think we could cut this, but your dad calls you once every five years for your birthday?It's definitely more now.I thought you talked to your dad all the time. That's not your dad, it's your mom.It's my mom.And.Your brother. And my brother. Yeah, he didn't call me on my birthday.It.Was his birthday.I.Was counting down, and I just decided, I'm going to skip Father's Day. I'm going to skip Father's Day.Hey, he skipped your whole life.Then we got to his birthday, and my brother told me, and the entire day was just me like, Do I do it? He didn't do mine. But then I was going to wish him happy birthday and then internally want him to say, Hey, and happy birthday to you. Then if I called If you were on Father's Day, imagine, Happy Father's Day. Thank you so much. Hang on. How's your day going?That would kill me.There was a lot of risk for maybe no reward. I'd rather live that he just didn't maybe have the time to say happy birthday, but to live and then wish him happy Father's Day and then forget your birthday. It was just a double whammy in a day that I was not ready for.I think I'd be more afraid of that, of me calling and not saying happy birthday.See, there was stuff on the line. There was layers. There was layers on it. Just avoid it. Father's birthday, that was my flop. As a son, I did fail.You did what you had to do.Well, I didn't do what I was supposed to do. I was trying to, and there is no bad blood, so I should have called him. I think just like him, and maybe that's why we're each other's biological, that's why we're the same. I think that like him, I saw the clock and I was like, Now, if I text him at midnight, he's going to think I've forgotten just from my movie right now.So put it down. Maybe he locked his phone in his car.I love how that's how you think. It's like texting your girl, right? It's like, Oh, my God. Should I wait? That's so crazy to have that type of relationship with your dad. I can't imagine me and my dad doing that.Should I wait? How old were you when he-When we first interact-No, when he left.Oh, like two.Then you didn't see him again until he stopped in at Gamestop?He would come into my life once every summer, but he stopped for eight years.Oh, wow.Then four years. Oh, wow. Then There were weird gaps, but I would see him. Then throughout middle school through high school, there was an eight-year block where I did not see him.Then he showed up to Jordan's work randomly on accident.Oh, accidentally?Yeah.Accidentally at Gamestop. What is he doing at GameStop. I took a lunch break.Yeah, you're like, I got to go on break.My manager was like, What is… Because you guys experienced it. There's 13 Asian people that go in and touch you and look at your face, and they're like, Oh, my God, you look like this. They're dissecting me.When he walked in, did you recognize him or no? He had to tell you.He recognized me. Okay.That's crazy. Imagine that it's your son you haven't seen, and you're just like, eight years.He said it so casually, right?Casually.Casually.He goes, Luke, I am your father.Jordan Lucas.And he also judged immediately what I was wearing. I had a wolf necklace. It was like, why are you wearing it?For him to say something about your outfit when he has it.I can't even listen to this conversation. That's crazy. That's crazy.But he is very religious, and necklaces are spiritual. So he was looking at it like, what are you wearing?Don't represent it. What are you representing?Interesting. Well, we actually have him here today. Come on in.Mr. Hong.I think something really I don't want to misconstrued anything. I love my whole family, every member of my family, my father, my entire family. But I was going to say something just very interesting, very coincidental. But I think I was... I don't know what age I was, but I remember it very vividly.Do you hear that? Okay. I kept hearing something in the bathroom.I heard something wrestling, but I'm good.I remember Jordan, and it just wasn't clicking because I just see Jordan and his mom like, that's just you guys are so similar. It's just crazy that you don't look or act anything like him, but that was your dad. Then he introduced me to the kids, and I'm like, he said the D and the J, and I'm like, Those are the kids. Everybody was so nice, and It's like, I said, make yourself at home. They did. We were all hanging out. We're sitting around, and I'm looking at Jordan, and I'm just like, this is crazy, right? This is insane.Wow. They came into the house like squatters. I didn't know if they were going to leave. I didn't know if they were going to leave.Oh my God. You should have hit me on my alley. I would have ran over.Then can I say that he owns a nail salon? Oh, yeah. First thing, you know how he judged Jordan on his necklace? The first two seconds of meeting me, he shakes my hand like, nice to meet you. He turns my hand over and my nails, and he's making sure that they look good because he owns a nail salon. So he tells me about all the nail salons, and he goes, You need to do this, this, this.Is it just because he owns a nail salon or that's his passion, nails?Both, probably. Probably, both. He just really knows about nails.Can I say something real quick? Yeah, of course. When I get, at least, if I check my Facebook messages, there is, Hi, I just got my nails done. I think I just to your father. Are you in LA? Are you going to be in LA?Oh, my God. His dad with the clients, he says, I have a son, Jordan, and you would love him. He tries to hook him up with the clients. And he was like...Shout out to my dad. He's a real one.He's trying to make up.He's out there, and I'm not joking. I'm getting girls of different ages. I'm getting 35. He's like, maybe. Maybe. Give him a shot. I'm not out. I'm not out.I'm not out. I'm 26. I love to straddle just like you.Imagine after all this, he's your matchmaker. I wouldn't be surprised.Your personal hedge. I would not be surprised. I mean, he's begging me to go to Vietnam and me a Vietnamese woman.Oh, he wants you to be with the Vietnamese woman?That's his dream for me. Really? Another year might happen because... Pretty desperate.Wow.Yeah..So he came and then he took you to the... The Cemetery. The Cemetery. And then they did a full-blown barbecue around the- Barbecue? They put it- Zane. I've never heard of that.Zane, they were putting up a tent. Tent. Not a camping tent.Like a- A full-blown canopy for a pop-up. They were putting up a tent.What I stole from Target. No. No.No, not a camping tent. You know when you have a party and you have tables and you want to put the pop-up tent? Yeah.Like that. Sorry. That's what I meant.Oh, that was the tent that you were- The grounds people came over and said, Hey, you can't do that.And they're like, No, we're going to do it anyway. They brought out a plethora They had baskets of food. They had baskets of food. This is in the cemetery with other graves around?Not only that, the food was brought on the plane. Right.This is all- They brought baskets of food.Grown food.Yeah. They brought it. And Jordan just sitting there and they're touching his face and they're like, You look just like him.Yeah, they said, I look like my grandfather. And we all went in a 15-person line with incense and all put incense on his grave and prayed.That was my grandfather. But it is cool. I do love that part of the culture where they honor the person that passed. It is.You know what I love, too, is that half the people there were not close to him either. Probably didn't know him just as much as me. This was my father visiting his father.Just the respect in that.Yeah, you just go. It's so interesting. But I mean, to everyone out there with a strange relationship with your father, unstrange it. Just go with it. It's a good benefit. Go with it. Go with it. Yeah, I just go with it.Just turn something negative into a It's very positive.Exactly. There's just no point. There's nothing... It's your future and just make it a good one. Yeah, that is true. I don't internalize anything at all. That's good. It's a good tree. Honestly, if you have someone, he is trying in some way. Yeah. He is sending me a woman.He is sending me a woman?Luckily, I have a woman.Listen, maybe he doesn't want to be your father, but he wants to be your friend.I am very out of tune with Asian ethnic cultures. I don't even know so much, but I know that in 16th century China, he would have been- That was the best thing you could do. Father of the Year. Father of the Destiny.Wait, what?16th century China, my dad's sending me brides just every day.He's just traditional, old school.He's traditional. I like him.He's trying. That's great that he's trying. He was very nice. And your mom is with Henry, who's amazing. Henry is incredible. He was your father's figure growing up.Yeah. And Henry is a good influence on how I treated my stepson when I had one. There you go.Which is amazing. He did a very good job because you're good with kids, you're good with women. Luckily, you have a woman.What a beautiful episode.Thank.You, Jordan.We've learned so much about Jordan.Thank you, guys. Sorry, we make you repeat your stories over and over and over again. No. Every time we introduce someone to Jordan, we're like, Can you tell this story?It's my first time hearing half of those. This was a fun episode for me as a viewer, as a listener.I like revealing some things for myself, so it's nice.We're going to have him come back on in a month because I know he'll have at least five more. Yeah. Five more.Just tonight, he'll have one.Thank you, Jordan, for hopping on an episode.Thank you, guys.Taking Matt's place. Matt, again, happy birthday. Good luck in wherever the fuck you are.Suck it.Thank.You, Matt.Suck it. Happy birthday.Yeah, you suck it.Happy birthday.That's it.All right. We love you guys. Also, make sure to check out our Patreon, patreon. Com/saneandheath. We do a bonus episode every single month. We also keep these cameras rolling. You get an extended cut of the podcast. We do a monthly live Q&A. Bunch of extra goodies. Again, patreon. Com/zaneheath.You can check out these episodes, audio form every Monday on all podcast platforms. We post the video version of these podcasts. If you guys ever want to see what we look like, and this is your first time just on our podcast on Spotify or something, you should watch the video, youtube. Com/zaneheath. We post every Tuesday, the very next day.All right. We love you guys.See you. Unwinders, see you now. Ciao.

I'm like, Hey, what should I do?

No, Zane, you're going to be like, No, it's stupid.

I know, but I will be open to it.

I would just like, Embroider with her. Embroider?

Entertainment it. But we ended up going back to my house and we were watching a TV show, and I was laying on my bed, and she was sitting on the couch in my room. I said, Why don't you come up on the bed? We got Just not subtle at all.

Why don't you come up on the... Just straight to the point.

Not even like, Are you comfortable?

Do you use protection? I mean, it was crazy because I wasn't expecting what happened, but she got on the bed and then immediately straddled me. She was waiting. Yes.

Jordan was waiting 10 years for this moment. He couldn't wait.

Jordan writing a fanfic and straddled me.

So I flinched because she touched me. Well, I was like, and she touched me. She was like, Is something wrong? I was like, I just thought when you were coming on the bed, you were going to just sit next to me. But no, I just didn't expect that.

No, your reaction is very valid. I don't know. I just was. I would have left.

Left your own house. Why don't you stay here tonight?

No, we thoroughly enjoyed the evening. When I said it, I didn't realize that I meant that. It happened so fast. Well, I'm so used to having everyone hang out on my bed.

Comment down below if you've been in Jordan's room in Florida. There are minimum 10 people on the bed at all times.

First day went really well, and it was a great reunion, and we planned date number two. Date number two is beach date. Hold on. Pause.

She straddled you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You flared out, and then what?

He said it was a great day.

We had a great evening.

She was like, Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. Then you guys are talking.

We had a fantastic evening.

Jordan doesn't want to just go straight for it. He wants to have a connection first before he-No, I think he did go straight for it.

We did go straight. There was no connection.

I can't tell if we know Jordan or not.

The connection was simmering for years in elementary school.

She was feeling the burn, too. Oh, yeah.

I think we were soul bonded for a little bit because I went to the dentist once, and she was getting a procedure done on her while I was there.Invisible.

Strength theory.Yeah..

All right.Invisible line.Invisible line.

You could cut that sexual frustration with a knife.Date.

Number two is the beach. And then this is where things The people listening.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.We've been waiting for a bit.We've.

Been waiting for a bit.We.

Do keep interrupting.I'm.

Sorry.go, go, no, no.

Let's go. It is the perfect beach day. Everything is going right. I think we went to got the subs. We're right there laying on the beach. Everything, we got perfect parking. I'm going to go put time in my car. I find out when I go to open my car that I left my keys in my car.Not surprising.So then, I'm thinking in my head, I got to call Tripoy, whatever. I'm going to go tell her, I want to hang out at the beach a little longer.

Because you didn't want her to know because you were embarrassed.

Were you embarrassed? Yes, I didn't want her to to know. I called Tripoy just to get the time estimate. They gave me one hour. Perfect because I was going to put time anyways. I'm like, Hey, I put one more hour. Perfect, whatever. We're laying down. The hour hour runs out, and I ran back to the car just like 30 times after the...

What was your excuse to go back?

This girl was like, I'm just trying to straddle you on the beach.

Yeah, right? She just wants to straddle. They give you like 45 minutes to 6 minutes. At the 45, I ran back to the car, looked around, no one, ran back to the beach. Every single time I was like, I'm going to go get water. I'm going to go do something. I'd come back with something. Just tell her. Person, they called me, and then they said, We're still a little late. We're running behind 45 more minutes. Our hour capped, and I'm like, We should stay a little bit longer.

I'm burning. I'm really enjoying.

It was really bad because she was white.

After a lot of time, now is the perfect time to be like, Oh, please.

I became much more physical, just hugging, more cuddly, like we need to buy some time. Now she just got the improv beach massage. She didn't know where in the parking lot. Yes. I am sorry.I could have- Mariah, so far for him. For us, 20 feet.It was the third parking spot.He just couldn't find his car. He was walking forever. It was in the third spot.I don't want to feel like the problem in society, but it was just I put the basket in my car or drive around and give them. If it wasn't target, maybe I wouldn't have done it if it was Ross. More respect for Ross.Oh, I get that.I actually get that. There was a level of target wouldn't care too much. The target CEO would be like, put it in.Jordan, I had one of those situations happen to me, too. That same thing, except it wasn't a car. It was a $400 tent that they-Oh, I remember that. That they forgot to scan. There's no way. I got to my car and I was like, they They missed it. But it's not like I was hiding it. I just generally missed it. And then I decided to just go home.Do you still have that tent? No.Where is it? No, I actually left it in the apartment. That was something that I like... You know we had that in the garage. We had stuff. It just stayed there.I don't think I cleared that thing either.Wait, did your stuff get stolen from it?My bike got stolen from there.We probably didn't want to... It was probably just It had bad vibes there.My truck got stolen because you stole a tent.No, that's not how karma works.Accidental theft is different. It's a little different. There's layers to it.Accidental theft is the biggest form of flattery.I have heard that.Because there's still... That's actually crazy. We internalize guilt. But then in a way... Oh, I do. But in a way, whenever I accidentally steal something, you can confirm it, I will call my mom and she'll decide if it's...She flips a coin.Well, my mom describes it. It's like, Oh, my God, it's a blessing from God. Just go. Just go. I love that. Good thing.And then the police.Remember we just went to the store and we noticed, you know how you could put stuff under the shopping cart, and a lot of people just do that on purpose to take it. They started putting cameras by the ground, and it points right at the bottom of your cart. Oh, very good. I just thought it. I think we were at maybe It might have been Target. It might have been Target.It happened so much, so I'm not surprised. The amount of people that try to do that, that get away with it.My sister was at the store, and she sent me a video in her car. She was picking out a tie for her husband. I'm still not used to that. Her husband. And she gets in the car and she goes to drive, and she went to put her seat belt on, and she had a tie on her shoulder. She accidentally... Because going through the ties, she was saving the ones that she liked, and she ended up finding one that she liked. She paid for it, but she walked out with one draped over her shoulder. That's really funny.Does she have both of them?I'm assuming she returned it. Her anxiety, she would have lost sleep.Was the target basket the time that you went to go get your phone back? Is that when you took it?We told that story, right?Yeah, we did. We did.Where Jordan got... If you want to know story of how Jordan's phone got stolen and the guy basically held him hostage in a target to get it back.That was crazy. I don't know if that was a bonus or a regular.That's actually what we told that on. Before we continue, we want to give a big thank you to our next sponsor of this podcast, Hello Fresh.It's Hello Fresh. Fresh Foods coming your way. Say hello to the best food delivery service today. Let's go.Zane, that was really good. Hello Hello Fresh should use that for the commercial.You know what?They should, Heath. If you guys don't know what Hello Fresh is, Hello Fresh is a food delivery service where you get farm fresh, pre-portion ingredients, and seasonal recipes delivered right to your doorstep. Skip trips to the grocery store and count on Hello Fresh to make home cooking easy, fun, and affordable. That's why it's America's number one meal kit.Ditch the meal planning woes and dive into Hello Fresh's biggest menu yet with over 50 recipes and even more market items to choose from every single week.Guys, make delicious food a priority this summer with quick, convenient recipes delivered your door. Just choose your meals and select the delivery date. Hello Fresh handles all the meal planning, shopping, and most of the prep, so all you have to do is open your box and get cooking.Savor the taste of summer with fresh seasonal produce picked at peak ripeness and delivered straight from the farm to your door in less than a week.For all of you listening that got kids, listen up. Hello Fresh's line of kid-friendly recipes are picky, eater-proof, and perfect for families looking to shake up their dinner recipe rotation while school's out for the summer.My favorite part about Hello Fresh is the fact that I get to try new food that I never thought I'd be able to cook ever in my life. They give you absolutely everything you need in that little box. Nothing is going to waste. You're using everything, and it just feels really rewarding to make something that looks so good, tastes so good, and it comes out exactly like the picture.You guys know that it's good because he's mom still orders Hello Fresh every single month. She keeps it stocked up in there.If you're ready to try it out and sign up today, you're going to unlock free appetizers for life. Get the party started or enjoy a little pre-dinner treat with an advertiser of your choice in every single Hello Fresh box for free.I heard free, and that got my juice is flowing, baby. Go to hellofresh. Com/unfilteredapps for free appetizers for life. One advertiser item per box while subscription is active.That's free AppetizersForLife at hellofresh. Com/unfilteredapps for all those subscriptions.Thank you, Hello Fresh, for sponsoring today's episode. We love you and we love to eat you.Period.Tell the story. Some people have heard it, some people haven't.I'll try to tell it a little different, but I have two phones.Got two phones.One of them was taken from me at Target.Which one? Your personal or your business one?The whole phone.The whole phone?Work phone.Would you say you felt targeted?I felt targeted. I felt targeted, and this happened while I was shopping. I noticed almost immediately after shopping, and I went to Target Security to request for footage. I was denied. I called them.Normally, they don't care.Over and over and over. I had my phone's location, and that person had contacted me in a very jigsaw, saw voice.I.Love the...Play with me.Detail.It was awful.I wish I knew the word that I was trying to say.Description.Yeah, that was it.This is my last episode.Just jigsaw voice and non-threatening but playful and...Give us a taste.Hello? I found your phone at... I found... No, it didn't sound. Okay, wait.Let me try again. Jordan, Jordan, Jordan, call me. Call me.This is just... Call me. Call her.All right, Jordan is going to be...Okay.Hello?Hey. I found... That's good.No, that's exactly what it was. Just roll with it. Hello, there will be blood.No, no, no. Hold on. I'm actually trying to think. It was like, Hey. I... Hey, I... I think I found your... Are you missing a phone? Yeah. I can't talk right now. I really can't talk right now. I'm at work. But yeah, I found your phone. Hold on. I have to go because I'm at work. That's literally what happened. Hung up. I would call three times, text, and I would be like, Hey, I can just come pick this up real quick. Don't bother me. I'm at work. I was getting responses like that.He was playing with him.Yes. I was making me feel bad for asking him.Yeah, why would you bother him at work? Yes.I feel like I did his voice wrong because it was intimidating in a way. But it's okay. But he spoke like he had one on me. Then he was just playing with me like that. We had three conversations, and I knew he wasn't at work because I saw where my where my phone was. It was just at someone's house, and I was like, I could see where my phone is. And then it started getting like-We googled the location, remember?And we looked at the front of the house and we were like, Jordan, do not go alone.Yes. And so once I said I know the location and all that, the tone of the phone calls were just like, Come get your phone back for $100. Come get your... I'll meet you here. It was just an instant demand.I mean, likeIt switched.Switched. Yeah, I'll I'll call me you at this time. Bring the money. Before all of this, I went to the Target. Target did nothing. I called the police. It was a non-emergency, which I understand. I'm sorry, Police Department of Los Angeles. To me, it was an emergency.The thing is, though, in that situation, it's not. You have to think about what does this person have in their house at the same time. You know what I mean? If I was a cop and I heard that, I'd be like, This isn't really an emergency, and you lost your phone, but this person took your phone and is not asking for money. To me, this is enough a good reason for me to go to the house and see what's this kid got going on in the house.Jordan asked the police to escort him. He wanted somebody to sit outside the house so he can go in. He just wanted to be escorted.The police actually called me back because when the 911 calls go, I guess every cop hears. Yeah. A cop called me back and told me, Hey, just heard your call. Go back down to the police station, request for an escort, go to the house. I go to the police station. I'm sorry, son. We cannot help you here. You got to put in your lost item request. We'll get to it in one week. In my head, like that.That.Literally, that pissed me off.Minutes and seconds are killing me. I know it's not an emergency, but in this day and age, losing your phone, the personal information, just in case, if the phone was ever unlocked, it's like I would feel threatened on every single All my accounts, jeopardized. Every single login, jeopardized.Also, we rely on the phone so much. Most people can't get around without their phone GPS or to contact their...It's very important. Honestly, thank God you had a second phone.It is very important.At this time.Yeah, I know.We were at Out of town. Do you remember?Out of town. Yeah. So I was like just... Honestly, I should have called Zane to escort me to Target. To the house? To Target when I went to buy my phone back.So go ahead. So explain, you told him, no, you're going to meet me in a public place.Yeah, I'm at the police station. They deny any help. I call him. I think that at this time, it's like 6:00. Yet the sun is coming down. When the sun goes down and the night comes and you still don't have your phone.He's not like, give us your own time. And the night falls.There's just an anxiety that goes through your head on, Why am I getting my phone back? What is going on?Wasn't there a point where you called and then it was a woman's voice?Yes. Multiple people were talking on the phone every single time I called, and it was horrifying.It's a workplace, so you know you're going to get the secretary.Of course, yeah. Then eventually, we go to the target.You agree to meet back at the location of the crime.It didn't take a little bit for you to... You said, No, come inside because he was trying to get you to go outside.Yes. That's another thing. It was a whole I can't believe you're negotiating with this guy. This is crazy. I know.But what are you going to do? No one's helping you.You cannot... Unless there was a cop there, you can't call the cops. Does that make sense? Yeah. If there was a police officer present, I could accuse him, but I can't call the cops and say, he stole this from me, and he's not giving it back.Got it. You just can't do that.In this world, things do just fall on you, and it sucks. It was something that felt like in the Middle Ages. I was bartering. I've never been on the... I've been on the black market because that is the black market. That's That's what it felt like.You traded them three goats for your phone back.I don't understand how-Hold on.Get to the part where you're actually in target.Okay, so we're in target. I meet him, huge guy, busted in nose. His nose was sideways.Nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with that.Just descriptive.Jordan said he was scary. He was scary. He had scars. Didn't you say he freshly looked like he got hit?He looked like he got hit. Well, yeah. He looked like no eyebrows. It was very interesting. He wasn't mean or anything. When he met me, very nice. Criminals, and this happened when I was robbed, they just put on a persona that they're cool with you. It's very mentally deceiving because you're not cool with me. You stole my phone and you're making me buy it back. If we were cool, you'd say, I found this and I'm giving it to you.How did you find each other? Because you don't know what each other looks like. How did you find each other when he walked in? Did you meet in an aisle?We're on the phone. Oh, you're on the phone? I called.Okay.So you saw him.You saw him shooting your pants. Oh my God.You turned like this and you're moving your lips like, not that.A different conversation.So I got in line.I got in line.This is my favorite part, though, when they're standing in line.They're standing in line, and I'm like...Jordan turns around and goes.I said, Do you want anything? Because I needed to get...You needed to buy something to get cash.He had to buy something to get cash back. So Jordan's looking in the aisles and he turns to the criminal and says, Do you want anything?Look, it was my turn to Jesus moment. Let me be nice to the criminal. Let me do some reverse psychology. There you go. What do you want?What can I get for you? That's what kids who get kidnapped, they snap into that survival mode where they start getting in their head and they start asking them personal questions, and we are friends, and it works.It is an interesting... This happened to me. Not to dwell on the robbery, but when I was robbed, there are armed weapons to your head, and they're asking you questions that are normal.That is so manipulative. That's mentally normal, and it's like, what is going on?So very same situation like that. Did he get anything? You just have to get on this mental double bubble. Yeah.double bubble.Double bubble. And you guys had just talked about double bubble in the podcast before that.What flavor? It was the bubble gum.Bubble gum. It says a lot about him. Bubble gum. The pink one.He's fruity. Guys, if anybody picks a bubble gum, something is not right. It's a red flag.I think you should hit a bubble gum and tell them the story. I think they'll come up with a flavor for you.Survival?The survival of flavor.Well, after I left, I was scared about being chased home, followed home.Oh, yeah, I would be.So I hung out in the CVS for an hour across the street. Smart.How did you do the exchange?In front of the cashier, were you just like...Right.There.you.Passed it to him?He.Just gave it to me, and that was it, and we just left. It felt very unrewarding. It felt for no reason. It felt like someone was just like, I have your laptop. No, I'm not giving it back.Why would I give it back? I also felt like you were let down by people that actually could have helped. Any police or anybody on Target.I can't believe they did nothing.That's crazy. Target wouldn't even... The problem is not that they didn't care, but they didn't say, Let us look. Let us look. Let us check.How were you dressed?I'm sorry, I got West, but a homeless person.I was like, Jordan, I feel like how you were dressed that day probably didn't help you.But to have such evidence and then tell them that the police don't Oh, we don't want to help me. Oh, but we don't want to help you then. Okay. All right. I guess no one's helping me.I want to know, was the exchange this at the same time or was it like, Here's the cash, and then he gave the phone? Was there a trust thing where you were like, were hoping he would give you the phone after paying?Or was it just like-Yeah, I didn't even think about it. I just got the cash.It was just $100.It.Gave a 10. Was it $100? I thought it was 50 or something. It was not $100.Jordan, I would be pissed after all that, just $100. If it was $500, I'd be like, damn, this guy really worked hard for that $500. But $50, $100, I'd be pissed. After how many hours?Which phone is it? You have it? The actual phone? We have it. That's it right there. Can I hold it? Yeah.6 hours, 100 bucks. You get paid more in a normal job than that money. And that was a crime.This is it.Petty crime.I risked my life for that phone. That was a white-collar crime. I would die for it.It was.Hi, Pauley.Happy birthday. You want to talk about my dad?You want to talk about my dad? Well, what's really funny is we were just talking because his birthday party, the soup off. Sorry.No, this is funny. We do that every year. Have we ever talked about how Jordan does a soup off every year?This It was his first soup off for his birthday party. It was the Super Bowl.Super Bowl. The Super Bowl. We feel really bad because Jordan ended up getting last place in the competition. It was a blind taste test, and his got ripped apart. He over cooked his soup by 45 minutes when it was only supposed to be cooked for 30 minutes. Then. Sorry. So when you over cook a soup, it doesn't like-The noodles. The noodles that were in it.Oh, okay. The soup was still like the-Soup was good, I think.It had the consistency of like a flon.The noodles? It was bad. It was Oh, God.But yeah. Anyways, we were just talking about how his birthday fell on Father's Day. Jordan has a very interesting relationship with his father. So we said, Did you call your father for Father's Day? Did you talk to him? And he's like, No, I was waiting for him. He never called me. I was like, Jordan, that's not how it works. You call your father on Father's Day. Your father doesn't call you.But it's his birthday.Exactly.So I was- It's a- It's a heath. It's his birthday. It's a toss-up. No, the dad has to call him first. The birthday is more important than a father's day. It was like a standoff.Agreed.However, he doesn't have a normal relationship with his father. I think we could cut this, but your dad calls you once every five years for your birthday?It's definitely more now.I thought you talked to your dad all the time. That's not your dad, it's your mom.It's my mom.And.Your brother. And my brother. Yeah, he didn't call me on my birthday.It.Was his birthday.I.Was counting down, and I just decided, I'm going to skip Father's Day. I'm going to skip Father's Day.Hey, he skipped your whole life.Then we got to his birthday, and my brother told me, and the entire day was just me like, Do I do it? He didn't do mine. But then I was going to wish him happy birthday and then internally want him to say, Hey, and happy birthday to you. Then if I called If you were on Father's Day, imagine, Happy Father's Day. Thank you so much. Hang on. How's your day going?That would kill me.There was a lot of risk for maybe no reward. I'd rather live that he just didn't maybe have the time to say happy birthday, but to live and then wish him happy Father's Day and then forget your birthday. It was just a double whammy in a day that I was not ready for.I think I'd be more afraid of that, of me calling and not saying happy birthday.See, there was stuff on the line. There was layers. There was layers on it. Just avoid it. Father's birthday, that was my flop. As a son, I did fail.You did what you had to do.Well, I didn't do what I was supposed to do. I was trying to, and there is no bad blood, so I should have called him. I think just like him, and maybe that's why we're each other's biological, that's why we're the same. I think that like him, I saw the clock and I was like, Now, if I text him at midnight, he's going to think I've forgotten just from my movie right now.So put it down. Maybe he locked his phone in his car.I love how that's how you think. It's like texting your girl, right? It's like, Oh, my God. Should I wait? That's so crazy to have that type of relationship with your dad. I can't imagine me and my dad doing that.Should I wait? How old were you when he-When we first interact-No, when he left.Oh, like two.Then you didn't see him again until he stopped in at Gamestop?He would come into my life once every summer, but he stopped for eight years.Oh, wow.Then four years. Oh, wow. Then There were weird gaps, but I would see him. Then throughout middle school through high school, there was an eight-year block where I did not see him.Then he showed up to Jordan's work randomly on accident.Oh, accidentally?Yeah.Accidentally at Gamestop. What is he doing at GameStop. I took a lunch break.Yeah, you're like, I got to go on break.My manager was like, What is… Because you guys experienced it. There's 13 Asian people that go in and touch you and look at your face, and they're like, Oh, my God, you look like this. They're dissecting me.When he walked in, did you recognize him or no? He had to tell you.He recognized me. Okay.That's crazy. Imagine that it's your son you haven't seen, and you're just like, eight years.He said it so casually, right?Casually.Casually.He goes, Luke, I am your father.Jordan Lucas.And he also judged immediately what I was wearing. I had a wolf necklace. It was like, why are you wearing it?For him to say something about your outfit when he has it.I can't even listen to this conversation. That's crazy. That's crazy.But he is very religious, and necklaces are spiritual. So he was looking at it like, what are you wearing?Don't represent it. What are you representing?Interesting. Well, we actually have him here today. Come on in.Mr. Hong.I think something really I don't want to misconstrued anything. I love my whole family, every member of my family, my father, my entire family. But I was going to say something just very interesting, very coincidental. But I think I was... I don't know what age I was, but I remember it very vividly.Do you hear that? Okay. I kept hearing something in the bathroom.I heard something wrestling, but I'm good.I remember Jordan, and it just wasn't clicking because I just see Jordan and his mom like, that's just you guys are so similar. It's just crazy that you don't look or act anything like him, but that was your dad. Then he introduced me to the kids, and I'm like, he said the D and the J, and I'm like, Those are the kids. Everybody was so nice, and It's like, I said, make yourself at home. They did. We were all hanging out. We're sitting around, and I'm looking at Jordan, and I'm just like, this is crazy, right? This is insane.Wow. They came into the house like squatters. I didn't know if they were going to leave. I didn't know if they were going to leave.Oh my God. You should have hit me on my alley. I would have ran over.Then can I say that he owns a nail salon? Oh, yeah. First thing, you know how he judged Jordan on his necklace? The first two seconds of meeting me, he shakes my hand like, nice to meet you. He turns my hand over and my nails, and he's making sure that they look good because he owns a nail salon. So he tells me about all the nail salons, and he goes, You need to do this, this, this.Is it just because he owns a nail salon or that's his passion, nails?Both, probably. Probably, both. He just really knows about nails.Can I say something real quick? Yeah, of course. When I get, at least, if I check my Facebook messages, there is, Hi, I just got my nails done. I think I just to your father. Are you in LA? Are you going to be in LA?Oh, my God. His dad with the clients, he says, I have a son, Jordan, and you would love him. He tries to hook him up with the clients. And he was like...Shout out to my dad. He's a real one.He's trying to make up.He's out there, and I'm not joking. I'm getting girls of different ages. I'm getting 35. He's like, maybe. Maybe. Give him a shot. I'm not out. I'm not out.I'm not out. I'm 26. I love to straddle just like you.Imagine after all this, he's your matchmaker. I wouldn't be surprised.Your personal hedge. I would not be surprised. I mean, he's begging me to go to Vietnam and me a Vietnamese woman.Oh, he wants you to be with the Vietnamese woman?That's his dream for me. Really? Another year might happen because... Pretty desperate.Wow.Yeah..So he came and then he took you to the... The Cemetery. The Cemetery. And then they did a full-blown barbecue around the- Barbecue? They put it- Zane. I've never heard of that.Zane, they were putting up a tent. Tent. Not a camping tent.Like a- A full-blown canopy for a pop-up. They were putting up a tent.What I stole from Target. No. No.No, not a camping tent. You know when you have a party and you have tables and you want to put the pop-up tent? Yeah.Like that. Sorry. That's what I meant.Oh, that was the tent that you were- The grounds people came over and said, Hey, you can't do that.And they're like, No, we're going to do it anyway. They brought out a plethora They had baskets of food. They had baskets of food. This is in the cemetery with other graves around?Not only that, the food was brought on the plane. Right.This is all- They brought baskets of food.Grown food.Yeah. They brought it. And Jordan just sitting there and they're touching his face and they're like, You look just like him.Yeah, they said, I look like my grandfather. And we all went in a 15-person line with incense and all put incense on his grave and prayed.That was my grandfather. But it is cool. I do love that part of the culture where they honor the person that passed. It is.You know what I love, too, is that half the people there were not close to him either. Probably didn't know him just as much as me. This was my father visiting his father.Just the respect in that.Yeah, you just go. It's so interesting. But I mean, to everyone out there with a strange relationship with your father, unstrange it. Just go with it. It's a good benefit. Go with it. Go with it. Yeah, I just go with it.Just turn something negative into a It's very positive.Exactly. There's just no point. There's nothing... It's your future and just make it a good one. Yeah, that is true. I don't internalize anything at all. That's good. It's a good tree. Honestly, if you have someone, he is trying in some way. Yeah. He is sending me a woman.He is sending me a woman?Luckily, I have a woman.Listen, maybe he doesn't want to be your father, but he wants to be your friend.I am very out of tune with Asian ethnic cultures. I don't even know so much, but I know that in 16th century China, he would have been- That was the best thing you could do. Father of the Year. Father of the Destiny.Wait, what?16th century China, my dad's sending me brides just every day.He's just traditional, old school.He's traditional. I like him.He's trying. That's great that he's trying. He was very nice. And your mom is with Henry, who's amazing. Henry is incredible. He was your father's figure growing up.Yeah. And Henry is a good influence on how I treated my stepson when I had one. There you go.Which is amazing. He did a very good job because you're good with kids, you're good with women. Luckily, you have a woman.What a beautiful episode.Thank.You, Jordan.We've learned so much about Jordan.Thank you, guys. Sorry, we make you repeat your stories over and over and over again. No. Every time we introduce someone to Jordan, we're like, Can you tell this story?It's my first time hearing half of those. This was a fun episode for me as a viewer, as a listener.I like revealing some things for myself, so it's nice.We're going to have him come back on in a month because I know he'll have at least five more. Yeah. Five more.Just tonight, he'll have one.Thank you, Jordan, for hopping on an episode.Thank you, guys.Taking Matt's place. Matt, again, happy birthday. Good luck in wherever the fuck you are.Suck it.Thank.You, Matt.Suck it. Happy birthday.Yeah, you suck it.Happy birthday.That's it.All right. We love you guys. Also, make sure to check out our Patreon, patreon. Com/saneandheath. We do a bonus episode every single month. We also keep these cameras rolling. You get an extended cut of the podcast. We do a monthly live Q&A. Bunch of extra goodies. Again, patreon. Com/zaneheath.You can check out these episodes, audio form every Monday on all podcast platforms. We post the video version of these podcasts. If you guys ever want to see what we look like, and this is your first time just on our podcast on Spotify or something, you should watch the video, youtube. Com/zaneheath. We post every Tuesday, the very next day.All right. We love you guys.See you. Unwinders, see you now. Ciao.

in the parking lot. Yes. I am sorry.

I could have- Mariah, so far for him. For us, 20 feet.

It was the third parking spot.

He just couldn't find his car. He was walking forever. It was in the third spot.

I don't want to feel like the problem in society, but it was just I put the basket in my car or drive around and give them. If it wasn't target, maybe I wouldn't have done it if it was Ross. More respect for Ross.

Oh, I get that.

I actually get that. There was a level of target wouldn't care too much. The target CEO would be like, put it in.

Jordan, I had one of those situations happen to me, too. That same thing, except it wasn't a car. It was a $400 tent that they-Oh, I remember that. That they forgot to scan. There's no way. I got to my car and I was like, they They missed it. But it's not like I was hiding it. I just generally missed it. And then I decided to just go home.

Do you still have that tent? No.

Where is it? No, I actually left it in the apartment. That was something that I like... You know we had that in the garage. We had stuff. It just stayed there.

I don't think I cleared that thing either.

Wait, did your stuff get stolen from it?

My bike got stolen from there.

We probably didn't want to... It was probably just It had bad vibes there.

My truck got stolen because you stole a tent.

No, that's not how karma works.

Accidental theft is different. It's a little different. There's layers to it.

Accidental theft is the biggest form of flattery.

I have heard that.

Because there's still... That's actually crazy. We internalize guilt. But then in a way... Oh, I do. But in a way, whenever I accidentally steal something, you can confirm it, I will call my mom and she'll decide if it's...

She flips a coin.

Well, my mom describes it. It's like, Oh, my God, it's a blessing from God. Just go. Just go. I love that. Good thing.

And then the police.

Remember we just went to the store and we noticed, you know how you could put stuff under the shopping cart, and a lot of people just do that on purpose to take it. They started putting cameras by the ground, and it points right at the bottom of your cart. Oh, very good. I just thought it. I think we were at maybe It might have been Target. It might have been Target.

It happened so much, so I'm not surprised. The amount of people that try to do that, that get away with it.

My sister was at the store, and she sent me a video in her car. She was picking out a tie for her husband. I'm still not used to that. Her husband. And she gets in the car and she goes to drive, and she went to put her seat belt on, and she had a tie on her shoulder. She accidentally... Because going through the ties, she was saving the ones that she liked, and she ended up finding one that she liked. She paid for it, but she walked out with one draped over her shoulder. That's really funny.

Does she have both of them?

I'm assuming she returned it. Her anxiety, she would have lost sleep.

Was the target basket the time that you went to go get your phone back? Is that when you took it?

We told that story, right?

Yeah, we did. We did.

Where Jordan got... If you want to know story of how Jordan's phone got stolen and the guy basically held him hostage in a target to get it back.

That was crazy. I don't know if that was a bonus or a regular.

That's actually what we told that on. Before we continue, we want to give a big thank you to our next sponsor of this podcast, Hello Fresh.

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Zane, that was really good. Hello Hello Fresh should use that for the commercial.

You know what?

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Period.

Tell the story. Some people have heard it, some people haven't.

I'll try to tell it a little different, but I have two phones.

Got two phones.

One of them was taken from me at Target.

Which one? Your personal or your business one?

The whole phone.

The whole phone?

Work phone.

Would you say you felt targeted?

I felt targeted. I felt targeted, and this happened while I was shopping. I noticed almost immediately after shopping, and I went to Target Security to request for footage. I was denied. I called them.

Normally, they don't care.

Over and over and over. I had my phone's location, and that person had contacted me in a very jigsaw, saw voice.I.

Love the...Play with me.

Detail.

It was awful.

I wish I knew the word that I was trying to say.

Description.

Yeah, that was it.

This is my last episode.

Just jigsaw voice and non-threatening but playful and...

Give us a taste.

Hello? I found your phone at... I found... No, it didn't sound. Okay, wait.

Let me try again. Jordan, Jordan, Jordan, call me. Call me.

This is just... Call me. Call her.

All right, Jordan is going to be...

Okay.

Hello?

Hey. I found... That's good.

No, that's exactly what it was. Just roll with it. Hello, there will be blood.

No, no, no. Hold on. I'm actually trying to think. It was like, Hey. I... Hey, I... I think I found your... Are you missing a phone? Yeah. I can't talk right now. I really can't talk right now. I'm at work. But yeah, I found your phone. Hold on. I have to go because I'm at work. That's literally what happened. Hung up. I would call three times, text, and I would be like, Hey, I can just come pick this up real quick. Don't bother me. I'm at work. I was getting responses like that.He was playing with him.Yes. I was making me feel bad for asking him.

Yeah, why would you bother him at work? Yes.

I feel like I did his voice wrong because it was intimidating in a way. But it's okay. But he spoke like he had one on me. Then he was just playing with me like that. We had three conversations, and I knew he wasn't at work because I saw where my where my phone was. It was just at someone's house, and I was like, I could see where my phone is. And then it started getting like-We googled the location, remember?

And we looked at the front of the house and we were like, Jordan, do not go alone.

Yes. And so once I said I know the location and all that, the tone of the phone calls were just like, Come get your phone back for $100. Come get your... I'll meet you here. It was just an instant demand.I mean, likeIt switched.Switched. Yeah, I'll I'll call me you at this time. Bring the money. Before all of this, I went to the Target. Target did nothing. I called the police. It was a non-emergency, which I understand. I'm sorry, Police Department of Los Angeles. To me, it was an emergency.

The thing is, though, in that situation, it's not. You have to think about what does this person have in their house at the same time. You know what I mean? If I was a cop and I heard that, I'd be like, This isn't really an emergency, and you lost your phone, but this person took your phone and is not asking for money. To me, this is enough a good reason for me to go to the house and see what's this kid got going on in the house.

Jordan asked the police to escort him. He wanted somebody to sit outside the house so he can go in. He just wanted to be escorted.

The police actually called me back because when the 911 calls go, I guess every cop hears. Yeah. A cop called me back and told me, Hey, just heard your call. Go back down to the police station, request for an escort, go to the house. I go to the police station. I'm sorry, son. We cannot help you here. You got to put in your lost item request. We'll get to it in one week. In my head, like that.That.

Literally, that pissed me off.

Minutes and seconds are killing me. I know it's not an emergency, but in this day and age, losing your phone, the personal information, just in case, if the phone was ever unlocked, it's like I would feel threatened on every single All my accounts, jeopardized. Every single login, jeopardized.

Also, we rely on the phone so much. Most people can't get around without their phone GPS or to contact their...

It's very important. Honestly, thank God you had a second phone.It is very important.At this time.

Yeah, I know.

We were at Out of town. Do you remember?

Out of town. Yeah. So I was like just... Honestly, I should have called Zane to escort me to Target. To the house? To Target when I went to buy my phone back.

So go ahead. So explain, you told him, no, you're going to meet me in a public place.

Yeah, I'm at the police station. They deny any help. I call him. I think that at this time, it's like 6:00. Yet the sun is coming down. When the sun goes down and the night comes and you still don't have your phone.

He's not like, give us your own time. And the night falls.

There's just an anxiety that goes through your head on, Why am I getting my phone back? What is going on?

Wasn't there a point where you called and then it was a woman's voice?

Yes. Multiple people were talking on the phone every single time I called, and it was horrifying.

It's a workplace, so you know you're going to get the secretary.

Of course, yeah. Then eventually, we go to the target.

You agree to meet back at the location of the crime.

It didn't take a little bit for you to... You said, No, come inside because he was trying to get you to go outside.

Yes. That's another thing. It was a whole I can't believe you're negotiating with this guy. This is crazy. I know.

But what are you going to do? No one's helping you.

You cannot... Unless there was a cop there, you can't call the cops. Does that make sense? Yeah. If there was a police officer present, I could accuse him, but I can't call the cops and say, he stole this from me, and he's not giving it back.

Got it. You just can't do that.

In this world, things do just fall on you, and it sucks. It was something that felt like in the Middle Ages. I was bartering. I've never been on the... I've been on the black market because that is the black market. That's That's what it felt like.

You traded them three goats for your phone back.

I don't understand how-Hold on.

Get to the part where you're actually in target.

Okay, so we're in target. I meet him, huge guy, busted in nose. His nose was sideways.

Nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with that.

Just descriptive.

Jordan said he was scary. He was scary. He had scars. Didn't you say he freshly looked like he got hit?

He looked like he got hit. Well, yeah. He looked like no eyebrows. It was very interesting. He wasn't mean or anything. When he met me, very nice. Criminals, and this happened when I was robbed, they just put on a persona that they're cool with you. It's very mentally deceiving because you're not cool with me. You stole my phone and you're making me buy it back. If we were cool, you'd say, I found this and I'm giving it to you.

How did you find each other? Because you don't know what each other looks like. How did you find each other when he walked in? Did you meet in an aisle?

We're on the phone. Oh, you're on the phone? I called.

Okay.

So you saw him.

You saw him shooting your pants. Oh my God.

You turned like this and you're moving your lips like, not that.

A different conversation.

So I got in line.

I got in line.

This is my favorite part, though, when they're standing in line.

They're standing in line, and I'm like...

Jordan turns around and goes.

I said, Do you want anything? Because I needed to get...

You needed to buy something to get cash.

He had to buy something to get cash back. So Jordan's looking in the aisles and he turns to the criminal and says, Do you want anything?

Look, it was my turn to Jesus moment. Let me be nice to the criminal. Let me do some reverse psychology. There you go. What do you want?

What can I get for you? That's what kids who get kidnapped, they snap into that survival mode where they start getting in their head and they start asking them personal questions, and we are friends, and it works.

It is an interesting... This happened to me. Not to dwell on the robbery, but when I was robbed, there are armed weapons to your head, and they're asking you questions that are normal.

That is so manipulative. That's mentally normal, and it's like, what is going on?

So very same situation like that. Did he get anything? You just have to get on this mental double bubble. Yeah.double bubble.Double bubble. And you guys had just talked about double bubble in the podcast before that.

What flavor? It was the bubble gum.

Bubble gum. It says a lot about him. Bubble gum. The pink one.

He's fruity. Guys, if anybody picks a bubble gum, something is not right. It's a red flag.

I think you should hit a bubble gum and tell them the story. I think they'll come up with a flavor for you.Survival?The survival of flavor.

Well, after I left, I was scared about being chased home, followed home.Oh, yeah, I would be.So I hung out in the CVS for an hour across the street. Smart.

How did you do the exchange?

In front of the cashier, were you just like...Right.

There.you.

Passed it to him?He.

Just gave it to me, and that was it, and we just left. It felt very unrewarding. It felt for no reason. It felt like someone was just like, I have your laptop. No, I'm not giving it back.

Why would I give it back? I also felt like you were let down by people that actually could have helped. Any police or anybody on Target.

I can't believe they did nothing.

That's crazy. Target wouldn't even... The problem is not that they didn't care, but they didn't say, Let us look. Let us look. Let us check.How were you dressed?I'm sorry, I got West, but a homeless person.

I was like, Jordan, I feel like how you were dressed that day probably didn't help you.

But to have such evidence and then tell them that the police don't Oh, we don't want to help me. Oh, but we don't want to help you then. Okay. All right. I guess no one's helping me.

I want to know, was the exchange this at the same time or was it like, Here's the cash, and then he gave the phone? Was there a trust thing where you were like, were hoping he would give you the phone after paying?

Or was it just like-Yeah, I didn't even think about it. I just got the cash.

It was just $100.It.

Gave a 10. Was it $100? I thought it was 50 or something. It was not $100.

Jordan, I would be pissed after all that, just $100. If it was $500, I'd be like, damn, this guy really worked hard for that $500. But $50, $100, I'd be pissed. After how many hours?

Which phone is it? You have it? The actual phone? We have it. That's it right there. Can I hold it? Yeah.

6 hours, 100 bucks. You get paid more in a normal job than that money. And that was a crime.

This is it.

Petty crime.

I risked my life for that phone. That was a white-collar crime. I would die for it.

It was.

Hi, Pauley.

Happy birthday. You want to talk about my dad?

You want to talk about my dad? Well, what's really funny is we were just talking because his birthday party, the soup off. Sorry.

No, this is funny. We do that every year. Have we ever talked about how Jordan does a soup off every year?

This It was his first soup off for his birthday party. It was the Super Bowl.Super Bowl. The Super Bowl. We feel really bad because Jordan ended up getting last place in the competition. It was a blind taste test, and his got ripped apart. He over cooked his soup by 45 minutes when it was only supposed to be cooked for 30 minutes. Then. Sorry. So when you over cook a soup, it doesn't like-The noodles. The noodles that were in it.

Oh, okay. The soup was still like the-Soup was good, I think.

It had the consistency of like a flon.

The noodles? It was bad. It was Oh, God.

But yeah. Anyways, we were just talking about how his birthday fell on Father's Day. Jordan has a very interesting relationship with his father. So we said, Did you call your father for Father's Day? Did you talk to him? And he's like, No, I was waiting for him. He never called me. I was like, Jordan, that's not how it works. You call your father on Father's Day. Your father doesn't call you.

But it's his birthday.

Exactly.

So I was- It's a- It's a heath. It's his birthday. It's a toss-up. No, the dad has to call him first. The birthday is more important than a father's day. It was like a standoff.

Agreed.

However, he doesn't have a normal relationship with his father. I think we could cut this, but your dad calls you once every five years for your birthday?

It's definitely more now.

I thought you talked to your dad all the time. That's not your dad, it's your mom.It's my mom.And.

Your brother. And my brother. Yeah, he didn't call me on my birthday.It.

Was his birthday.I.

Was counting down, and I just decided, I'm going to skip Father's Day. I'm going to skip Father's Day.

Hey, he skipped your whole life.

Then we got to his birthday, and my brother told me, and the entire day was just me like, Do I do it? He didn't do mine. But then I was going to wish him happy birthday and then internally want him to say, Hey, and happy birthday to you. Then if I called If you were on Father's Day, imagine, Happy Father's Day. Thank you so much. Hang on. How's your day going?

That would kill me.

There was a lot of risk for maybe no reward. I'd rather live that he just didn't maybe have the time to say happy birthday, but to live and then wish him happy Father's Day and then forget your birthday. It was just a double whammy in a day that I was not ready for.

I think I'd be more afraid of that, of me calling and not saying happy birthday.

See, there was stuff on the line. There was layers. There was layers on it. Just avoid it. Father's birthday, that was my flop. As a son, I did fail.

You did what you had to do.

Well, I didn't do what I was supposed to do. I was trying to, and there is no bad blood, so I should have called him. I think just like him, and maybe that's why we're each other's biological, that's why we're the same. I think that like him, I saw the clock and I was like, Now, if I text him at midnight, he's going to think I've forgotten just from my movie right now.

So put it down. Maybe he locked his phone in his car.

I love how that's how you think. It's like texting your girl, right? It's like, Oh, my God. Should I wait? That's so crazy to have that type of relationship with your dad. I can't imagine me and my dad doing that.

Should I wait? How old were you when he-When we first interact-No, when he left.

Oh, like two.

Then you didn't see him again until he stopped in at Gamestop?

He would come into my life once every summer, but he stopped for eight years.Oh, wow.Then four years. Oh, wow. Then There were weird gaps, but I would see him. Then throughout middle school through high school, there was an eight-year block where I did not see him.

Then he showed up to Jordan's work randomly on accident.Oh, accidentally?Yeah.

Accidentally at Gamestop. What is he doing at GameStop. I took a lunch break.

Yeah, you're like, I got to go on break.

My manager was like, What is… Because you guys experienced it. There's 13 Asian people that go in and touch you and look at your face, and they're like, Oh, my God, you look like this. They're dissecting me.

When he walked in, did you recognize him or no? He had to tell you.

He recognized me. Okay.

That's crazy. Imagine that it's your son you haven't seen, and you're just like, eight years.

He said it so casually, right?

Casually.

Casually.

He goes, Luke, I am your father.

Jordan Lucas.

And he also judged immediately what I was wearing. I had a wolf necklace. It was like, why are you wearing it?

For him to say something about your outfit when he has it.

I can't even listen to this conversation. That's crazy. That's crazy.

But he is very religious, and necklaces are spiritual. So he was looking at it like, what are you wearing?

Don't represent it. What are you representing?

Interesting. Well, we actually have him here today. Come on in.

Mr. Hong.

I think something really I don't want to misconstrued anything. I love my whole family, every member of my family, my father, my entire family. But I was going to say something just very interesting, very coincidental. But I think I was... I don't know what age I was, but I remember it very vividly.

Do you hear that? Okay. I kept hearing something in the bathroom.

I heard something wrestling, but I'm good.

I remember Jordan, and it just wasn't clicking because I just see Jordan and his mom like, that's just you guys are so similar. It's just crazy that you don't look or act anything like him, but that was your dad. Then he introduced me to the kids, and I'm like, he said the D and the J, and I'm like, Those are the kids. Everybody was so nice, and It's like, I said, make yourself at home. They did. We were all hanging out. We're sitting around, and I'm looking at Jordan, and I'm just like, this is crazy, right? This is insane.Wow. They came into the house like squatters. I didn't know if they were going to leave. I didn't know if they were going to leave.Oh my God. You should have hit me on my alley. I would have ran over.Then can I say that he owns a nail salon? Oh, yeah. First thing, you know how he judged Jordan on his necklace? The first two seconds of meeting me, he shakes my hand like, nice to meet you. He turns my hand over and my nails, and he's making sure that they look good because he owns a nail salon. So he tells me about all the nail salons, and he goes, You need to do this, this, this.Is it just because he owns a nail salon or that's his passion, nails?Both, probably. Probably, both. He just really knows about nails.Can I say something real quick? Yeah, of course. When I get, at least, if I check my Facebook messages, there is, Hi, I just got my nails done. I think I just to your father. Are you in LA? Are you going to be in LA?Oh, my God. His dad with the clients, he says, I have a son, Jordan, and you would love him. He tries to hook him up with the clients. And he was like...Shout out to my dad. He's a real one.He's trying to make up.He's out there, and I'm not joking. I'm getting girls of different ages. I'm getting 35. He's like, maybe. Maybe. Give him a shot. I'm not out. I'm not out.I'm not out. I'm 26. I love to straddle just like you.Imagine after all this, he's your matchmaker. I wouldn't be surprised.Your personal hedge. I would not be surprised. I mean, he's begging me to go to Vietnam and me a Vietnamese woman.Oh, he wants you to be with the Vietnamese woman?That's his dream for me. Really? Another year might happen because... Pretty desperate.Wow.Yeah..So he came and then he took you to the... The Cemetery. The Cemetery. And then they did a full-blown barbecue around the- Barbecue? They put it- Zane. I've never heard of that.Zane, they were putting up a tent. Tent. Not a camping tent.Like a- A full-blown canopy for a pop-up. They were putting up a tent.What I stole from Target. No. No.No, not a camping tent. You know when you have a party and you have tables and you want to put the pop-up tent? Yeah.Like that. Sorry. That's what I meant.Oh, that was the tent that you were- The grounds people came over and said, Hey, you can't do that.And they're like, No, we're going to do it anyway. They brought out a plethora They had baskets of food. They had baskets of food. This is in the cemetery with other graves around?Not only that, the food was brought on the plane. Right.This is all- They brought baskets of food.Grown food.Yeah. They brought it. And Jordan just sitting there and they're touching his face and they're like, You look just like him.Yeah, they said, I look like my grandfather. And we all went in a 15-person line with incense and all put incense on his grave and prayed.That was my grandfather. But it is cool. I do love that part of the culture where they honor the person that passed. It is.You know what I love, too, is that half the people there were not close to him either. Probably didn't know him just as much as me. This was my father visiting his father.Just the respect in that.Yeah, you just go. It's so interesting. But I mean, to everyone out there with a strange relationship with your father, unstrange it. Just go with it. It's a good benefit. Go with it. Go with it. Yeah, I just go with it.Just turn something negative into a It's very positive.Exactly. There's just no point. There's nothing... It's your future and just make it a good one. Yeah, that is true. I don't internalize anything at all. That's good. It's a good tree. Honestly, if you have someone, he is trying in some way. Yeah. He is sending me a woman.He is sending me a woman?Luckily, I have a woman.Listen, maybe he doesn't want to be your father, but he wants to be your friend.I am very out of tune with Asian ethnic cultures. I don't even know so much, but I know that in 16th century China, he would have been- That was the best thing you could do. Father of the Year. Father of the Destiny.Wait, what?16th century China, my dad's sending me brides just every day.He's just traditional, old school.He's traditional. I like him.He's trying. That's great that he's trying. He was very nice. And your mom is with Henry, who's amazing. Henry is incredible. He was your father's figure growing up.Yeah. And Henry is a good influence on how I treated my stepson when I had one. There you go.Which is amazing. He did a very good job because you're good with kids, you're good with women. Luckily, you have a woman.What a beautiful episode.Thank.You, Jordan.We've learned so much about Jordan.Thank you, guys. Sorry, we make you repeat your stories over and over and over again. No. Every time we introduce someone to Jordan, we're like, Can you tell this story?It's my first time hearing half of those. This was a fun episode for me as a viewer, as a listener.I like revealing some things for myself, so it's nice.We're going to have him come back on in a month because I know he'll have at least five more. Yeah. Five more.Just tonight, he'll have one.Thank you, Jordan, for hopping on an episode.Thank you, guys.Taking Matt's place. Matt, again, happy birthday. Good luck in wherever the fuck you are.Suck it.Thank.You, Matt.Suck it. Happy birthday.Yeah, you suck it.Happy birthday.That's it.All right. We love you guys. Also, make sure to check out our Patreon, patreon. Com/saneandheath. We do a bonus episode every single month. We also keep these cameras rolling. You get an extended cut of the podcast. We do a monthly live Q&A. Bunch of extra goodies. Again, patreon. Com/zaneheath.You can check out these episodes, audio form every Monday on all podcast platforms. We post the video version of these podcasts. If you guys ever want to see what we look like, and this is your first time just on our podcast on Spotify or something, you should watch the video, youtube. Com/zaneheath. We post every Tuesday, the very next day.All right. We love you guys.See you. Unwinders, see you now. Ciao.

Jordan, and it just wasn't clicking because I just see Jordan and his mom like, that's just you guys are so similar. It's just crazy that you don't look or act anything like him, but that was your dad. Then he introduced me to the kids, and I'm like, he said the D and the J, and I'm like, Those are the kids. Everybody was so nice, and It's like, I said, make yourself at home. They did. We were all hanging out. We're sitting around, and I'm looking at Jordan, and I'm just like, this is crazy, right? This is insane.

Wow. They came into the house like squatters. I didn't know if they were going to leave. I didn't know if they were going to leave.

Oh my God. You should have hit me on my alley. I would have ran over.

Then can I say that he owns a nail salon? Oh, yeah. First thing, you know how he judged Jordan on his necklace? The first two seconds of meeting me, he shakes my hand like, nice to meet you. He turns my hand over and my nails, and he's making sure that they look good because he owns a nail salon. So he tells me about all the nail salons, and he goes, You need to do this, this, this.

Is it just because he owns a nail salon or that's his passion, nails?

Both, probably. Probably, both. He just really knows about nails.

Can I say something real quick? Yeah, of course. When I get, at least, if I check my Facebook messages, there is, Hi, I just got my nails done. I think I just to your father. Are you in LA? Are you going to be in LA?

Oh, my God. His dad with the clients, he says, I have a son, Jordan, and you would love him. He tries to hook him up with the clients. And he was like...

Shout out to my dad. He's a real one.

He's trying to make up.

He's out there, and I'm not joking. I'm getting girls of different ages. I'm getting 35. He's like, maybe. Maybe. Give him a shot. I'm not out. I'm not out.

I'm not out. I'm 26. I love to straddle just like you.

Imagine after all this, he's your matchmaker. I wouldn't be surprised.

Your personal hedge. I would not be surprised. I mean, he's begging me to go to Vietnam and me a Vietnamese woman.Oh, he wants you to be with the Vietnamese woman?That's his dream for me. Really? Another year might happen because... Pretty desperate.Wow.Yeah..

So he came and then he took you to the... The Cemetery. The Cemetery. And then they did a full-blown barbecue around the- Barbecue? They put it- Zane. I've never heard of that.

Zane, they were putting up a tent. Tent. Not a camping tent.

Like a- A full-blown canopy for a pop-up. They were putting up a tent.

What I stole from Target. No. No.

No, not a camping tent. You know when you have a party and you have tables and you want to put the pop-up tent? Yeah.

Like that. Sorry. That's what I meant.

Oh, that was the tent that you were- The grounds people came over and said, Hey, you can't do that.

And they're like, No, we're going to do it anyway. They brought out a plethora They had baskets of food. They had baskets of food. This is in the cemetery with other graves around?

Not only that, the food was brought on the plane. Right.

This is all- They brought baskets of food.

Grown food.

Yeah. They brought it. And Jordan just sitting there and they're touching his face and they're like, You look just like him.

Yeah, they said, I look like my grandfather. And we all went in a 15-person line with incense and all put incense on his grave and prayed.

That was my grandfather. But it is cool. I do love that part of the culture where they honor the person that passed. It is.

You know what I love, too, is that half the people there were not close to him either. Probably didn't know him just as much as me. This was my father visiting his father.

Just the respect in that.

Yeah, you just go. It's so interesting. But I mean, to everyone out there with a strange relationship with your father, unstrange it. Just go with it. It's a good benefit. Go with it. Go with it. Yeah, I just go with it.

Just turn something negative into a It's very positive.

Exactly. There's just no point. There's nothing... It's your future and just make it a good one. Yeah, that is true. I don't internalize anything at all. That's good. It's a good tree. Honestly, if you have someone, he is trying in some way. Yeah. He is sending me a woman.

He is sending me a woman?

Luckily, I have a woman.

Listen, maybe he doesn't want to be your father, but he wants to be your friend.

I am very out of tune with Asian ethnic cultures. I don't even know so much, but I know that in 16th century China, he would have been- That was the best thing you could do. Father of the Year. Father of the Destiny.

Wait, what?

16th century China, my dad's sending me brides just every day.

He's just traditional, old school.

He's traditional. I like him.

He's trying. That's great that he's trying. He was very nice. And your mom is with Henry, who's amazing. Henry is incredible. He was your father's figure growing up.

Yeah. And Henry is a good influence on how I treated my stepson when I had one. There you go.

Which is amazing. He did a very good job because you're good with kids, you're good with women. Luckily, you have a woman.

What a beautiful episode.Thank.

You, Jordan.

We've learned so much about Jordan.

Thank you, guys. Sorry, we make you repeat your stories over and over and over again. No. Every time we introduce someone to Jordan, we're like, Can you tell this story?

It's my first time hearing half of those. This was a fun episode for me as a viewer, as a listener.

I like revealing some things for myself, so it's nice.

We're going to have him come back on in a month because I know he'll have at least five more. Yeah. Five more.

Just tonight, he'll have one.

Thank you, Jordan, for hopping on an episode.Thank you, guys.Taking Matt's place. Matt, again, happy birthday. Good luck in wherever the fuck you are.Suck it.Thank.

You, Matt.Suck it. Happy birthday.

Yeah, you suck it.

Happy birthday.

That's it.

All right. We love you guys. Also, make sure to check out our Patreon, patreon. Com/saneandheath. We do a bonus episode every single month. We also keep these cameras rolling. You get an extended cut of the podcast. We do a monthly live Q&A. Bunch of extra goodies. Again, patreon. Com/zaneheath.

You can check out these episodes, audio form every Monday on all podcast platforms. We post the video version of these podcasts. If you guys ever want to see what we look like, and this is your first time just on our podcast on Spotify or something, you should watch the video, youtube. Com/zaneheath. We post every Tuesday, the very next day.

All right. We love you guys.

See you. Unwinders, see you now. Ciao.