Welcome, welcome. Welcome to armchair expert. Experts on Expert. I'm Buck Rogers, and I'm joined by John Lightyear.

Hi there.

Hi.

Hi, Buck.

Hey, how are you, John? Doing great.

Doing good.

You ever go by Jack? Cause that's a common nickname for Jonathan.

To presidential.

Oh, I guess that makes sense. But I don't know why you would want to be presidential. You already got my job.

I do not want to be president.

Well, not president, but presidential.

Ooh, fine line.

Okay, today we have Allegra castins. She is a licensed therapist. Therapist. And an OCD specialist, a mental health advocate and a writer. And this is great, because, as people may remember, if they heard the fact check, I had apologized for perhaps misrepresenting OCD in general. It was recommended we get an expert, and Allegra is the consequence of that recommendation.

We learned a lot, and it was awesome. Yes.

It was such a good episode. She has a podcast called books looks in psychology.Yes. I didn't want to specialize in OCD treatment at first, I thought that everybody else's thoughts and obsessions were gonna stick in my brain. I didn't want the murder thoughts. I had enough OCD.That makes total sense. I'm not gonna try to get sober in the crack house.Yeah, right?It might look good one day, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.Totally. So, I was worried that I would pick up obsessions or compulsions, and then I realized, this is my passion. This is what I wanna do.Yes. Okay. Sorry. And not to keep making about me, but it was contagious for me. So I would randomly bump into a kid who also had an eye blinking thing, and I was hiding mine, but if they were in full flare up, it would be contagious to me. And then we would kinda of escalate each other in a way that, like, where our heads are going to explode.No, that makes sense. And I know people will say compulsions aren't contagious, but my brain was so sticky that they did feel contagious to me. I remember reading the man who couldn't stop. I don't know if you've read that. No, it's a book about detail. People who say, I really need my spreadsheets to be in this way, they get mad at others often, who don't align with the way that they view things. There might be excessive devotion to work, so much perfectionism that can interfere with the person's ability to get a task done, but they think it's kind of like my way or the highway. This is how things should be done. There's a lot of inflexibility and a lot of rigidity. I think people often also don't talk about OCPD accurately. But when people are saying, I'm so OCD, I think what they're saying is, I'm detail oriented. I like to organize. Well, that is not OCD. OCD is an ego dystonic condition.Well, now I will say this, and this is a time I misuse it. I am so uncomfortable when things that are hanging are not level. And I'll go, oh, this is my OCD. But that's my OCPD. If I was gonna say it.Yeah.Even. Cause it should be level in your head. I don't disagree. You know, like, I don't think I want it level, but it should be crooked. I think I want it level and should be level.Totally. And that might not be distressing to you at that time, where if someone had, let's say, just right, OCD or perfectionism OCD, that would distress them, and they would feel the urge to do that over and over and over again until an internal sense of rightness is achieved. So there is that aspect to OCD, but it's also a very small sliver of how OCD can manifest.And is it fair to say, as well, it's also spectrum. Yeah. So it's like, even as you're describing it, like, yeah, I want it level. It should be level. Also, it's deeply unsettling in a bad luck way. So it's like, just, like, inching towards. Is it a spectrum?I guess that's a really great question. To be diagnosed with OCD, obsessions and compulsions have to take up at least an hour of your day. Or cause clinically significant distress or impairment in functioning. So, yes, technically speaking, now there are more severe levels of OCD. Some people require residential treatment, whereas others can be treated in an outpatient setting once a week. But if you meet criteria for having OCD, there has to be some kind of impairment in functioning or distress.That's a great metric too. An hour a day. Yeah, because right now, not a chance.Yeah.I'm not spending no five minutes of my days as a kid. It was a couple hours a day, you know.There we go.Right? Yeah. Interesting. Monica, I cut you off twice.No, no, no. Well, I've been eating this burrito. I stopped, but I was eating a burrito kind of obsessively. It was all I was eating. And then I thought, something weird's happening where this is becoming obsessive. But it wasn't causing me any stress. But I also wasn't like, this is the way it should be. Everyone should be eating burritos every day. So it was just kind of this, like, neutral obsession, sort of. But then I stopped easily. So maybe that's also.Maybe the word would be just better use habitual. Like, it became really habitual.Yeah, but it was a little.There was some suspicious.I want to dissect your. Right. So was it a safe food for you? There could be so many reasons that people. I'm not saying you have an eating disorder, but people with eating disorders have foods. For instance, apples. For me, I had safe foods that I would eat constantly. So there are a number of reasons that you could be eating one particular food. It could be sensory issues. So I would be curious as to why a burrito for so long. Not that we have to do therapy.We're not leaving here until we figure out why Monica ate that burrito 14 days in a row.Actor's like, please give therapy.It was so weird. Yeah. I mean, it started out as just tasty, and then it became like, well, this is. I really don't know what happened, but I needed to have it every day. And then it became the only thing I was eating every day. And then, honestly, part of it, I was getting so full on it. I think it was like, this is kind of a hack. I just have to eat this very day. And then it started to feel like, I think this is weird for me. This probably is becoming unhealthy. I don't have an eating disorder. I've never struggled with that. But this is feeling a little adjacent. Adjacent in a way that I'm not comfortable with.Right.Because you need more food than a burrito during the day, for sure. And it could be a fixation. I mean, I sometimes will eat chipotle multiple times a week. You know, it doesn't have anything to do with my OCD. It's just a fixation on what tastes good. Yeah, could be that, too. But we often use obsession or I'm so OCD to describe so many things that just aren't.Yeah.Yes, yes, yes. Now. And we're getting along so well, and I like this so much. Truly.Were you worried?No, not at all. I don't think you would have come if you absolutely weren't. Yeah. Yeah. I think that said everything about both of us that we would want to sit down and chat. One part I can't relate to tremendously, but now that I've read a bunch of what you've written, it certainly makes more sense. But if I hear a guy on a podcast saying he's an alcoholic because he drank too much one Saturday night, I don't care. I can't relate to being upset. People are using it wrong, and I'm curious why it's upsetting, and I think it's well founded, and I just would love for you to explain.So if we're going to go with the addiction and the alcoholism example, I think most people know what addiction is, and I think that there's a difference with OCD. If I could have, from day one, known that that was OCD, I would have saved myself a lot of pain and suffering, and I didn't. It took aspects of my life that I will never be able to get back. And the OCD community in particular, gets very activated about that because there just is very little representation. You have such an amazing audience. By doing this episode, you're saving so many lives. So I think people especially want people who have platforms to talk about the condition accurately.Like, maybe in 20 years, we'll be in a spot where everyone knows what.Right?But we don't.Right now, even on instagram, when I post about sexual intrusive thoughts, it's. There's another white woman promoting bestiality. And it's like, that's definitely not what this is. But, you know, people just don't know about it. So then when we keep hearing I'm so OCD, or whatever it might be, it really impacts people's lives, and it prevents them from getting the help they need.Well, what I really got a lot of understanding out of was you writing about the five taboo and very common OCD obsessions, because it started to make a lot of sense, which is if your garden variety knowledge of OCD is checking the locks twice or as you say in media, what's most commonly presented, and certainly, I agree, is someone washing their hands a lot. That's, like, what we like in movies. Well, first of all, it's very visual.Yes.Right.The internal stuff is a little bit harder.So if the common colloquial understanding of OCD is that, then when you're wrestling with these five taboo ocds, any one of them or a combination of them, you think you're uniquely broken. Not that you have this thing. Cause this thing is checking your door locks, which you don't do, so you don't even know. And then I was like, yeah, that makes a ton of sense. That's very, very valid.Right. The locks and the washing and the sanitizing, such a small portion. Not necessarily small in terms of not a lot of people have it. But if we're looking at just writer contamination obsessions, there's also violent obsessions, postpartum obsessions, sexual obsessions. OCD spans so much more than that, but that's all we hear about, as if that's 100% of the condition right now.Okay, I want to go through the five taboos because, yeah, this must be so distressing to be trying to evaluate what you are in spite of all these intrusive thoughts. And I also think just really quick, because I found myself figuring out the difference as I was reading obsessive and compulsive. These are kind of two pieces of something. It's an order.Yes. So obsession is repetitive, unwanted thoughts, images, or urges that are intrusive and often distressing for the person. So it's recurrent. It's not just one thought that pops in. Like, I think I heard you say, well, I have intrusive thoughts from time to time. We all do. People without OCD can let them go. It's like, that was an odd thought, and you move on with your day. For the person with OCD, it sticks, it multiplies, and it replays all day long. That is the obsession. It could be a what if. So what if I'm a pedophile? It could be a sexual phrase. I used to have so many of those. And then that causes a lot of discomfort, whether that's anxiety, panic, guilt, shame. And the person feels compelled to perform the compulsion, the physical or mental act that the person is performing to neutralize the obsession, to prevent that bad thing from happening, to solve the obsession, to alleviate the discomfort. And that just reinforces the obsession and you're stuck in that.Yeah. So that's great. So I guess when I was thinking about it is like the compulsivity is what you're observing, but that might not even be reflective of the obsession.They might not be connected, you're saying.Right, well, just like, yeah. If you were observing someone from the outside and you noticed that they had some of these compulsivities, it's not so intuitive. It's like how they're choosing to regulate and address and fix and nullify. The obsession isn't so direct. It can be, but also it might not be.Right. Some people with sexual obsessions will wash, let's say, their vagina or penis after having an unwanted thought, because they think that that's the thing that neutralizes it. To the outsider, it would be like, why are you washing that during the middle of your work day? 18 times?You didn't even think they were a germaphobe.There we go. So you can't always. Or it could be if I don't tap this wood, then I'm going to snap in my sleep and kill my child. Right. And people wouldn't think that the tapping of the wood has something to do with that. And you also don't always see people's compulsions. Mine are all mental. Nobody would have ever known that I was performing compulsions, because they all happened in the mind.Right.Did you know? So when I said, I have interest, totally. I do. And at this point, I do think they go away. But I did have a period of time after a major family incident where I was having intrusive thoughts, could not stop. And the thought was, what if I kill myself because there was a suicide incident and I thought this was PTSD for a while, but maybe it wasn't because it would just be like, flashes of what if I've done that, but not will I do it. It's just if I looked down and it had happened, sort of, it was. And it was constant and it was debilitating.Absolutely.But I don't think I had any compulsions to neutralize it that I know of.Okay. Were you ruminating? Were you analyzing, boom. Compulsion? Right. So if you're trying to figure the obsession out in your mind, like, would I do that?Congratulations.Thank you.I did it. We all three. And I didn't know when I was struggling that I was doing mental compulsions. I thought it was all obsessions, but I was trying to solve it in my head, trying to get rid of the thought, even if you're trying to suppress it and push it away. Mental compulsion. But it's tough because there are also intrusive thoughts with PTSD. So I see why your brain went there.Maybe it is that. I don't know.And intrusive thoughts with PTSD tend to be more so about the trauma that occurred, and the person might be avoiding things. Cause they don't wanna relive that trauma where OCD is more. This irrational fear that is popping up.Seems like a weird combo. Maybe.I was gonna say, I see both in yours. Not that I'm diagnosing you.No, no, you're allowed to. By the way, we're happy to take any.I mean, your license is your issue, not ours. So feel free to let the diagnoses fly.I feel like I wanna know more.Stay tuned for more. Armchair expert, if you dare. Okay, so another really relevant part of all this, and you said it a second ago, but I think it's worth really drilling into. And maybe we could start. There's five, but pedophile obsession seems the best place to start to illustrate the difference between an OCD or a pedophile OCD person has versus a pedophile. You just dropped it quickly. But there's a great term. Ego dystonic versus ego syntonic. Okay, so give us a picture of what someone struggling with pedophile obsession is going through and how much it doesn't align.There are a couple of moving parts to this. The first is the ego dystonic nature of OCD. And what that means is the obsessions are opposite to the person's values, desires, self concept, what they know about themselves. So they're having all of these unwanted thoughts that don't line up with who they are. Could be, what if I'm a pedophile? It could be, what if I snap and sexually molest a child? What if I molested a kid in the past and I just forgot? So there's kind of different variations of it, and it is the farthest thing from a pedophile. People with POCD commonly avoid kids because they want to make absolutely sure that nothing bad happens to the kid. Or new moms who have this will lock themselves in their bedroom and make their partner take care of the kid because they want their kid to be safe. People with POCD often don't want to see kids because they don't want to have the thoughts. That differs greatly from a pedophile, who does align with the arousal, the desire, the attraction to prepubescent. Children, even if they don't act on it.Well, I was gonna say, even they don't act on it, they're masturbating to it.Often masturbating to it. Or they still know I am attracted to children. And that's not the person with OCD. The person is doubting what they know when they have OCD. It's, what if I'm a pedophile, even though I know that I'm not. And it's wild because it's like, but don't you just know that you're not? But when you have OCD, it is not that simple. I knew I wasn't. But when you're being bombarded with a thousand million intrusive thoughts a day, get, like, naked images of children pop into my mind, and then you feel something because you're having a sexual thought. It's not as simple as, don't you just know that you're not? It's a doubting disorder, and your brain is not firing in the way that someone's brain without OCD is, like, this.Abstract fear based in nothing, based in literally nothing.But then I'm sitting there all day long like, am I a pedophile? Even though I know I'm not. Seems like the biggest waste of your time, but I just couldn't get it out of my mind.Yeah, and you would. Although this could be part of the compulsion. I was gonna say you would never go search for images like a pedophile would. But also, I could see a part of the compulsion. I actually need to look at those to prove to myself I don't like it.I'm so glad that you said that. And there was actually a battle in one of my videos in the comment section the other day, so most people with POCD don't. That is a huge fear of theirs, even so much so that when they're watching porn, if the word teen is in, I'll have clients come in and say, oh, my God, am I a pedophile? Because I watched one that said teen, and it's like, they're over 18. I mean, I would hope I will say that there are definitely some people who have looked at it to prove to themselves that they are nothing, and that is a whole different beast, because then they feel so much shame that they've done it and they're not pedophiles. But you are so deep in it, you are struggling immensely. And you think by looking at this thing, I'm going to finally have the answer. I'm going to know that I'm not. Now, what probably happens is you feel something down there, because when we have sexual thoughts, even if we don't align with them, we tend to feel something.I would even argue like that is the perversive nature of suppression almost. There's something really interesting about suppression and fear that it's all together.Oh, for sure. There are people with OCD who, unfortunately, have looked at that compulsively. That does not mean that they are a pedophile. They don't align with it even if they're having a groinal response. Again, trigger warning, rape. People who have been assaulted, they might orgasm because the body responds. So even feeling something when you have a sexual thought doesn't mean you desire it or align with it.Yeah. Or whatever. Want to experience that in your real life?Oh, God. Yeah. Yeah.So, yeah, we went through some of them, but I wrote down some that I think are interesting. Well, also, could you explain to us the difference between these two very common things? There's the what if, and then there's the command obsession. So there's, like, two different. Thank you for addressing columns of this.I think that some people think that to have an obsession, it has to start with what if. Or to have an intrusive thought, it has to start with what if. Like, what if I'm a pedophile? People also get intrusive thoughts, like, you are a pedophile, or people with harm obsessions might get intrusive thoughts like kill them or rape them, where you feel like it's your brain telling you to do something or that you want to do something that you absolutely don't. It's still an intrusive thought, and it doesn't mean that you're any more likely to act on it. And I think those scare people more, because it's like, if my brain is telling me, you are a pedophile, then I really must be.Yeah, your brain's telling you all the things, right? How do you know what's real and what's not real?Right. So it might not show up as neatly as, what if I'm a pedophile? It might be you are a pedophile or. Or sexual images of children or sexual phrases, or even, like, noises in people's minds. Very graphic. It's not a fun time.Okay. And now, at the risk of perpetuating another stereotype, I can't help but resist the overlap between that and the call of the void, which is something I think people are very familiar with. And I'm wondering how you think about that. So a lot of people experience standing on a skyscraper, and the voice is telling them, jump off the building. Jump off the building. Jump off. Now I get that a ton. I can almost not stand on a tall building because my brain screaming, jump. I wonder if that could help people understand this, because although that's probably not OCD, and if you're only on top of a skyscraper and it's happening, not a disorder, but if you've experienced that, perhaps that's a way you can kind of understand that.I'm so glad you described that, because when you said the call of the void, I had no idea we were talking about.Oh, okay.I was like, oh, my God, this is gonna be the one question I can't answer. Okay.They call that the call of the.Void have new language. That's wonderful. So that is exactly it for people with OCD. And I don't necessarily like that. We describe OCD or obsession sometimes as urges, because I think that implies that a person desires it. When we hear, I have the urge to go to in, n out, or I have the urge to have sex with x, y, and z, we think of that as, you really want to do it. For the person with OCD, it's more of a really strong feeling internally that's paired with a scary thought, and they don't want to do it. When you're standing on a tall building, you might feel this internal pull, but it's not an urge per se, because you're not wanting to jump off the building. For the person with harm OCD who's holding a knife, and they gotta pray every morning.I'm like, oh, we gotta do that meditation, I think. Don't you feel like it's gotten better since you've been meditating?Well, unfortunately, it's just so far away from when I meditated in the day, it's like the end of the day. I'm sorry. I'm obsessed, and I'm not gonna get a perfect night's sleep. All the things that are gonna fall apart. Cause I don't get the good night. And then all of a sudden, it all gets hung on this bladder.Of course.Yeah, all roads lead to my bladder, I guess.So. Moment awareness, the more you strengthen that, for me anyway, helps with some of this where I can be like, whatever I feel. I might have to pee, but I'm not going.I'm gonna come back to the present moment.Yeah.Mindfulness was huge in my own recovery. It helped me so much.Well, earmark that. Cause I want you to walk us through the kind of course of action, but in effort to destigmatize this stuff and let people know that what they're dealing with is common and has a solution. I think we should go through a few more of the taboo. And you point out at the beginning of this piece I read that the stakes seem incredibly high, and they are in that the fear of, I'm gonna go talk to somebody and tell them I'm thinking about killing my baby. You're immediately thinking you're gonna have the police called on you.Yeah. That's why I didn't want to seek help. I knew I was having these sexual thoughts about kids, but I wasn't gonna go tell a stranger that and then risk them saying, you're a pedophile. I'm calling the police. And unfortunately, it does happen where doctors and clinicians who don't understand OCD treat someone with suicidal obsessions as if they actually are suicidal, violent obsessions as if they are homicidal. It does happen.Right. So you're saying one feared outcome would be getting the police called on you, but then another one would be a 5150.That's happened for people who have suicidal obsessions, and they're not suicidal, their brain is going kind of like you were talking about, what if I kill myself? Even though they don't want to, my.Heart and compassion goes out to the doctor sitting on the other side of that. They're like, oh, my God, if I don't do so, I mean, that's a very hard call to make decision on the other end. I'd rather be wrong in there alive. I'm sympathetic to.Of course.Yeah.And that's why this is so important, because more doctors need awareness about OCD. And what's ego dystonic versus ego syntonic?Right. So if someone who has suicidal ideations also is thinking, and the world would be better off without me, my family would be better off without me, like, things would be better. Like this is in accord with my principles. Would that symbolize the difference?Yeah. For instance, people with suicidal obsessions, they are hiding their knives. They are throwing away sharp objects. They are people. They're like, hey, um, I just thought of this. Been there, done that. And they're like, no, no. Okay. I gotta tell you the one really quick, though. Cause I was on a USO tour, and this is a little bit mean, but bear with me. Oh, no. And when you're on a USO tour, we were in Afghanistan, and every time you stop somewhere, they ask you to sign stuff. Like, you ended up signing so many tanks and, like, maybe the inside of helicopters. You sign a lot of stuff. Again, I don't have a catchphrase. I don't know what to say.You could say you've been punked.You know, I think I wrote that a couple times, but then it was like, they didn't get punk. They're there fighting. It was challenging. Okay, so what I found out was that Larry the cable guy was going to be there in two weeks on the next us. And once I found that out, everything I signed, I wrote get her done. Dax shepherd. Because I was like, of course he's gonna have to sign this stuff. And that's his catchphrase, and he's gonna be like, what the fuck? He can't write get her done. That's what I was gonna write. And then he had to think of something. Maybe he wrote, you just got punked.Maybe.I'd sure like to know if he did ever come across that signature. Feel like he had to have.Yeah.Because everything I was signing had been signed. You know, there was about 20 other signatures from other people.Why didn't you just sign your name?Well. Cause you gotta write something. You can't.Sometimes I think that's the pitfall. Like, just. Just sign your name. Put a heart. Well, I do that smiley face.Here's the extra problem that compounds all this. My signature, my quote, autograph is illegible. You've seen it. It doesn't mean anything. So I often in those situations when it's like on a USO tour, I sign it, and then. Then I have to write Dax because I'm like, this means nothing. But. And then maybe with a catchphrase or some kind words, I don't know.Sure.But I wrote get her done everywhere I went.Yeah. That is mean.Or funny. Is it funny, though, too?Yeah.When you think of Larry the cable guy reading his catchphrase, like, if I knew Michael Buffer was coming the week after, and I wrote let's get ready to rumble every time, you'd owe him so much money. I wonder how they even. God, what are the rules? Like? I can understand not going on television and saying it at a fight, but can no one in the world say, let's get ready to rumble now?I'm worried we might.No, this is news. We're covering it. We're now a new show.We're allowed to say it on the news.Yeah, you can say anything on the news. You can sing happy birthday.You can.I don't know. What I do know is if you have a documentary, any music you'd have in a movie, you have to get licensing for from the artists or whatever the publisher. But if you're making a documentary and you're walking through the streets of New York and beat it is playing on a loudspeaker. You're allowed to have that in there.Really?It's not called eminent domain, but it's one of those words like that, like, where it's just. It's. It's unavoidable. You didn't put it there. I don't know.Well, this is a doc, so it's fine.Yeah, this is currently a doc.And the news.It's a documentary about the news. Let's get ready to rumble.Stop saying it. I'm worried.And get her done.Oh, my God.Do you want to put any out there?No. I'm going to be karmically well, and I'm just going to say, ding, ding, ding.Those are the reverse back.Reverse back? Yeah. I got one today.Oh, you did?Mm hmm.Oh, what could feel better?Yeah, it's been tough figuring out her order lately, so I was pleased she's.Getting spicy for the summer.Yeah. I feel bad. Cause I did publicly say, I think she hates summer. I'm taking that back.Oh, did you say that on synced?I thought I said it here. Maybe I said it on synced.Maybe you said it on our text chain. You definitely said it on our text chain.Oh, well, I said it again. Oh, man, I'm getting caught that I said things twice.You're never allowed to say anything twice. And if you do, you have to copyright it.But I take it back. But for a while, she was feeling real feisty at the beginning of the summer. And I don't blame her. It's hot. Like, it's hot out. And people get crabby and testy, including me. I've decided that I want to go somewhere for a couple days.You gotta get out of there.I gotta get out because my apartment is so hot, and then outside is so hot. There's nowhere to go. Except my bedroom is kind of. If I keep the door closed and the fan on, it's okay. But then I'm just in my room. Like I'm depressed in there.Well, I don't wanna be critical of your apartment or your apartment building or the management of it. But it is curious that they mounted one air conditioner in your whole apartment. And they put it in the kitchen where no one sits to watch tv and no one sleeps. It's an interesting spot for it.Yeah.Have you considered moving your bed into the kitchen? Think about it.That's a good thought. No, I just gotta go. I gotta leave. I gotta get out of here.Traditionally, this is when I would spend a lot of time at the movie theater. Like when I lived in Santa Monica with no air conditioning. Come September, when I get blazing, I'd see a couple movies a day just to beat the heat.Yeah.Not gonna do it.I'm not in the mood for movies right now.So you haven't found a pool since I last spoke to you, I'm guessing.No, I have not.Really?Yeah, I haven't.And you don't like my idea of checking into a hotel. Stay calm.I might. I might. I looked into going to a hotel. I won't say which one.Okay. Ice cold air conditioning.I assume they have gray air conditioning.Based on the brand of the hotel.I'm not gonna finish that sentence.Okay.But I assume they have great air conditioning. Cause it's a hotel, so. And I've never been to this hotel, so it might be a fun thing to do now. Oh, God.Wait. You wanna talk about it?I wanna talk about something.Yeah, let's talk. Let's talk about it.I think at this point, he needs addressing seconds.Yeah, so go ahead. So, should we sell the full story or.The full story?I think.Okay, full story is. You were joking. You were. You were making a joke.I made a bad joke check involving.One of our advertisers.And yes, to be clear, because people heard it, it's also gone now. So if you try to go back, you can't find it. But it was, to me, it was obviously, obviously a joke, but that wasn't so clear.Right. Well, there was a handful of people in the comments that said something about that. And then, so the advertiser saw that and so we got contacted. So we're like, okay, no problem, we'll take that out. That was a joke, but if doesn't sound like one, we'll take it out. And then, because you knew that those comments that we're now kind of defending and or evaluating whether or not we act, you decided are from when people are asking, but I'm not gonna say. I'm not gonna say that I wanna go to this hotel and where it is and how fun it is. And that sucks because I also know there's a big group that wants to know that and wants to see the outfits or know about them.Yeah.So it's just this bizarre valley. I think that one of the more hurtful ones was about. Well, there was some that I found misogynistic. Those were rough or, like, double standardy. Then there was some, basically, that I betrayed them, and I was like, hmm. I've never not been this, so. I haven't.You've been living at the mall since you were a kid?I've not been like, I'm a huge man of the people. I've never been that. Even when I worked at Soulcycle, I wasn't that. Like, that's not me. And so I haven't betrayed anyone. I've just attained a little more. So I've had a little more access, but I've stayed pretty true to my values, wants, needs, all of that stuff. And, like, that's all I can really do.Well, this hotel with the ice cold air conditioning sounds like a fortune.Shut up. God, you're trying to take me out.Never.Is that Groot?Yeah. Yeah, I'm with Groot. Of course I'm with Groot. I sleep with grass.Because you're his granddad.Yeah. I asked because she tossed him to me, and he landed perfectly in my nook. And I said, oh, he landed in my nook. And then I said, wait, is gruta he or she? She or they? And she said, groot's a groot. He doesn't. They. She goes, groots don't have genders like we do, okay?I mean, Groot is a tree. Really?Oh, by the way, you. We haven't figured out what kind of boy I am. Because you're a cookie boy. Amy Poehler is the bedtime boy, and.You'Re just a boy's boy.No, I'm a lake Boyden boy.Oh, sure, yeah, yeah.Finally figured it out. I'm a lake boy. Boy, do I love a lake. I get in there and just paddle around like a little dog. Like a little lake dog.Yeah. Okay, wait, hold on. I have a little more to say about the other thing, which is. So this hotel. Yeah, I want to go to. I want to go just for a couple days, and I'm going to have to probably go by myself.Okay.It's a very complicated thing to talk about, but.But you just.It's universal. I mean, not universal, but it affects a lot of people on both sides of this. But, like, I want to go with a couple people that I know could go.Right, but you don't have to pay for them.Exactly. And it wouldn't even be responsible to ask them.Yeah, right. You'd have to offer to pay for them to go.Yeah. And it circles back to all the things we've always talked about on here, which is like, what's the point of going to this nice place if you're.Alone, although you're reading all fours? So I feel like if there were ever a moment where you could be alone, felt like you had a reason to go alone.It's also an interesting thought for me because I love going places alone. I travel alone all the time.Yeah. You go to New York.I love it. But for some reason, in this particular circumstance, I don't know why. Maybe it's just my current headspace where I'm like, oh, oh, I want buddies there. Like, I want my friend. I wanna bring friends.Right.But that would mean that I would be paying double for something that's already a lot. And what is this? Like, it's just all confused. I'm confused.Yeah. Yeah. And you know how I did it for years and years and years, which is just. I paid for people to go everywhere, and then some of those people ended up really resenting me for that, which I couldn't really make peace with. I'm like, why? Why are you resentful towards me?Yeah, it's really complicated.Yeah. Then meets the eye.Yeah.Basically, there's some people that I can do that with, and there's no resentment, and there's other people that, they resent me when I do that, which. So it's very confusing.Yeah. But then this is how weird silos happen. And then it's like, then only rich people can travel with rich people. Like, that's awful. Yeah, I don't want that at all. I enjoy the people in my life, and there's varying degrees of financial success within that. I don't want to change any of the people around me. So that's for me to then decide. Like, do I pay? Do I go alone? I don't know.Yeah, I don't have a very clear answer.Yeah, I don't think there is one. And maybe it just depends on the day.Yeah, it totally depends on the day. I really think it's person specific. You know, I have a very successful friend who's much older than me who said to me at one point, they had had a bad experience with some family members they supported, and then those people really mad at them, and they were talking to their therapist. The therapist said, the key is that relationships have to be respected, reciprocal. So if it can't be financial, it's almost on the person who's got the money to figure out how the other person can reciprocate by some other method. Or that's when it starts getting really fucked up. And I thought that was really interesting. I heard that a few years ago, and I think, I feel like I.Observe that there's also resentment that comes up from the other side.Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, I have friends all the time who will be like, yeah, I lent so and so money. They were broke. But then I saw they bought a new car. You know, those little things that happen. And then I'm like, yeah, you can't ever lend anyone money. You just have to give. Give someone money. Literally think, yeah, they might go buy a fucking four wheeler with it. I don't know. Zachary.Yes, a hundred percent. That's really a good lesson. And no string that's attached.Yep. Yeah, basically. Yeah. Yes. I also think the unavoidable thing is, is you do end up having more control than is healthy a relationship. Because basically you're picking, right? Like, if you're gonna invite people to where you want to go, you've just. You have picked.Yeah.And even that's a weird dynamic. I know, because what if you said, like, hey, whoever, do you want to come with me to x? And they go, no, but why don't you take us to Santa Barbara, this other hotel? That would feel a little crazy. But at the same time, if it's a friend trip, maybe that's part of it. I don't fucking know.Like, all of this is not good. I don't know.No, it's not good. It comes back to now how, what I also, I gotta add right now is I think this too. If you chose to see this, you could choose to see this conversation as two rich people talking about like, oh, God, what do they do? This happens on every ladder of the socio economic. Because my bro, I remember my brother was, started making more money than all of us. And he even said to me, this is why people of the same socioeconomic bracket hang out. Because. And I. And I was like, bullshit. I would. I didn't think there's any validity to it, but this whole idea in the book that, you know, basically you're climbing and you're climbing, and then basically you're levitating for a minute, and then from then on, you're falling.Yeah. Yeah. That's the battle I'm in right now.It's tough. I mean, this idea that, like, oh, from this point forward, and I'm just, like, inching towards the end is scary, but it's all perspective. Like, that wasn't my ultimate takeaway. By the end, I think it has a more optimistic ending. I would really recommend it, and I want men to read it.I will. I'll do it. I saw some photos of myself on this trip where I was like, oh, boy, are we losing our hair? Like, really quick? Is that what's going on today? I'm telling you, really? I don't know if it's lighting or whatever. I'm like, whoa, are we. We're much thinner than I thought we were. And I was online today getting a topical finasteride.Oh, nice.Yeah, yeah. Like, panicked. I'm like, jesus Christ, here we go. I'm gonna look just like my dad. Gonna have a big dome. Yeah. No, I was looking at myself in the mirror, like, imagining myself. Cause at the rate, you know, you know, when you panic in my mind, the rate at which it's falling out, probably by August, I'm gonna look like my dad, but I'm gonna fight it. I'm gonna get every topical known to man, and I ordered several of them today.Yeah, yeah, it's.I know. Yeah. It's not gonna get better for me. It's not gonna get better.Well, no, no, no, no. That's not true.No, hold on. My life may get better, but physically, I'm not gonna be getting better.It's how we define better.Yeah, Balder, I guess Balder's better. You get more vitamin D through the sun exposure.Oh, yeah. Okay, real quick. So some facts, not very many. This is for Allegra.Now. I got it. Just always to keep ourselves honest. This was definitely a good thing that came out of the comments. This is one. We got to give the check in the pros for this one.Okay. I loved this episode. I learned so much. I have so much compassion for people who suffer with this.Absolutely. Oh, man.Oh, man.All consuming, it sounds.Yeah. Okay. The difference between a cortado and a cappuccino.Oh, okay. That came up.Yep. It's the amount of milk. So a cortado consists of equal parts espresso and steamed milk, ensuring a balanced flavor. A latte has one to three ratio of coffee to milk, making it a milkier option. Finally, a cappuccino features equal parts of espresso, steamed milk, and frothy milk foam, delivering a thicker and foamier texture compared to the other two.Well, perfect timing. Ding, ding, ding. I don't ever drink cappuccinos. And I've had probably 65 since I got.Oh, I love cappuccino. That's my go to.It's so fucking good because coffee is so bad everywhere. That's not unique to Norway. Like, so few people are into coffee the way Americans are.Right?Black coffee, Americano. Like, if you get an American, you know it's an Americano. It's not. So you gotta go cappuccino when you're overseas. And, man, have I been putting them back.Why don't you try cortado next time, see if you like it.Yeah, I'll see if that rings a bell. Next place I'm ordering one, they'll know it. What we found out, what we found out, at least at the last place is we kept ordering double cappuccinos. Cause Eric and I want two shot. We want an extra shot in there. And they said, that's a flat white. We would never call it a double cappuccino. So now we've been ordering flat whites and boy, boy George. Are those good?Yeah, flat whites are good. Okay. There's a chart about all of them, which is fun. You can buy the chart on etsy.Okay.A breve, which you know about. Oh, brevi latte, average espresso added with steamed half and half to create.Yeah. When I first met Will Arnett, he introduced me to the breve on let's go to prison. And we were blasting those brevies until we realized they're like 9000 calories was a cannonball that had been shot at this church, and they left it in the wall.Okay.So you could go look. It's still lodged in the wall. So we're driving in the car to the next place, and we're in the car for hours, and I don't know where delta just goes, hey, mom, you know how they chose to leave that cannonball in the wall, and over time, it became an artifact? I think the next time you tell me to pick up my clothes, I'm just gonna leave them in hopes that they'll become an artifact.That's cute.That's funny. What a wonderful train of thought that was.Yeah. I love that she's so smart.She is. Lincoln's so adventurous. She's been jumping off everything and scaring me. I looked up. We were playing spades and drinking coffee on this patio of the hotel. And I look up, and I see Lincoln, who certainly doesn't think I can see her. They're on the fifth floor, and she has gone out on the railing of the balcony and has gone around the outside of. Of the post holding it up. Something I definitely did a million times. When I was a kid, and I was just watching this from 100 yards away, and she's on the fifth floor, and I'm like, yeah. Oh.Oh, scary, my child. Yeah, that's your fault.Yeah, it is totally my fault.Okay, now chai means tea in Hindi.I know, I know, I know.Okay, did you.Cause I did. I did. I did.I just.Because we say chai tea, which is redundant. And when we posted the bill Gates thing, people were like, chai is tea. I'm like, I know, but. But people still say chai tea, where I'm posting this, I guess, and chai tastes so specific. It's different than green tea and. And herbamante tea.I just like. Of course we changed it.We had to. We had no choice.We did.Not too many offerings at all. Back when there was only one flavor of tea. You could just say chai.Well, we could have made the other teas. We could have made them green chai, you know?Yeah, that's fair.Yeah.Okay.Okay. We were coming up with other people named Allegra, and you said allegra busses, but it's actually Allegra. Allegro bus.A couple days after I had said that, I was looking at Instagram, and I follow a guy who has an allegro bus, and he had posted a picture of it, and I was like, mm. That was wrong. It's Allegro.Yeah.I'm glad you looked that up. Lest anyone has searched the Internet trying to buy an Allegro bus.Allegro. That's it. There really weren't much facts.Chai is tea.Chai is tea.Quartado is not cappuccino.Mm hmm. Cappuccino has faux milk and steamed milk.Don't drink venti brevi lattes.No. Do it if you want. I'm not telling people what to do.You're not gonna be on a campaign against brevy lattes.Mm mm. I bet a cream top is a.Breve of sorts, but with ice cream batter. That's a birthday drink. Birthday cake drink. Armor. Armor. Well, I hope you go. Listen, don't listen to these haters. I hope you go find yourself an ice cold, air conditioned room and a nice pool to swim around in.Thank.Oh, yeah. One of that episode is when we were talking about Hermes. So that's what threw people over the edge, right?Yeah.Also, ironically, that was a Tuesday that this was happening.Yeah.Based on the Monday episode, Wednesday was an episode of synced, and we, of course, had talked about it also on synced.Oh, okay.So Tuesday night, when all this was happening, I was like, fuck.Like this.There's an episode tomorrow about. With more Hermes chit chatter.Yeah.I was like, I'm gonna pull the episode. Oh, I really almost did. Because I was like, I can't. I can't handle what's about to come.Yeah.And then I thought, no, we have advertisers on that episode that it will fuck over. Like, I'm just gonna have to deal with this. And then I did. But you said the pool. One of the comments was. Cause I was talking about the towels. And she was like, she doesn't even know how to swim.I got real personal.Yeah. Oh, it got so personal. It got so personal. One is she was probably tipsy.Oh, wow.Yeah. Like, mean shit.Mean.Try to be nice. Just gonna leave it there. Try to be nice in this world if you can.Give it a shot. Give it a shot.Try it out.Give it a shot. See how it feels. All right, well, I love you. I can't wait for our next check in. These are so it. Bye.

in psychology.

Yes. I didn't want to specialize in OCD treatment at first, I thought that everybody else's thoughts and obsessions were gonna stick in my brain. I didn't want the murder thoughts. I had enough OCD.

That makes total sense. I'm not gonna try to get sober in the crack house.

Yeah, right?

It might look good one day, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Totally. So, I was worried that I would pick up obsessions or compulsions, and then I realized, this is my passion. This is what I wanna do.

Yes. Okay. Sorry. And not to keep making about me, but it was contagious for me. So I would randomly bump into a kid who also had an eye blinking thing, and I was hiding mine, but if they were in full flare up, it would be contagious to me. And then we would kinda of escalate each other in a way that, like, where our heads are going to explode.

No, that makes sense. And I know people will say compulsions aren't contagious, but my brain was so sticky that they did feel contagious to me. I remember reading the man who couldn't stop. I don't know if you've read that. No, it's a book about detail. People who say, I really need my spreadsheets to be in this way, they get mad at others often, who don't align with the way that they view things. There might be excessive devotion to work, so much perfectionism that can interfere with the person's ability to get a task done, but they think it's kind of like my way or the highway. This is how things should be done. There's a lot of inflexibility and a lot of rigidity. I think people often also don't talk about OCPD accurately. But when people are saying, I'm so OCD, I think what they're saying is, I'm detail oriented. I like to organize. Well, that is not OCD. OCD is an ego dystonic condition.Well, now I will say this, and this is a time I misuse it. I am so uncomfortable when things that are hanging are not level. And I'll go, oh, this is my OCD. But that's my OCPD. If I was gonna say it.Yeah.Even. Cause it should be level in your head. I don't disagree. You know, like, I don't think I want it level, but it should be crooked. I think I want it level and should be level.Totally. And that might not be distressing to you at that time, where if someone had, let's say, just right, OCD or perfectionism OCD, that would distress them, and they would feel the urge to do that over and over and over again until an internal sense of rightness is achieved. So there is that aspect to OCD, but it's also a very small sliver of how OCD can manifest.And is it fair to say, as well, it's also spectrum. Yeah. So it's like, even as you're describing it, like, yeah, I want it level. It should be level. Also, it's deeply unsettling in a bad luck way. So it's like, just, like, inching towards. Is it a spectrum?I guess that's a really great question. To be diagnosed with OCD, obsessions and compulsions have to take up at least an hour of your day. Or cause clinically significant distress or impairment in functioning. So, yes, technically speaking, now there are more severe levels of OCD. Some people require residential treatment, whereas others can be treated in an outpatient setting once a week. But if you meet criteria for having OCD, there has to be some kind of impairment in functioning or distress.That's a great metric too. An hour a day. Yeah, because right now, not a chance.Yeah.I'm not spending no five minutes of my days as a kid. It was a couple hours a day, you know.There we go.Right? Yeah. Interesting. Monica, I cut you off twice.No, no, no. Well, I've been eating this burrito. I stopped, but I was eating a burrito kind of obsessively. It was all I was eating. And then I thought, something weird's happening where this is becoming obsessive. But it wasn't causing me any stress. But I also wasn't like, this is the way it should be. Everyone should be eating burritos every day. So it was just kind of this, like, neutral obsession, sort of. But then I stopped easily. So maybe that's also.Maybe the word would be just better use habitual. Like, it became really habitual.Yeah, but it was a little.There was some suspicious.I want to dissect your. Right. So was it a safe food for you? There could be so many reasons that people. I'm not saying you have an eating disorder, but people with eating disorders have foods. For instance, apples. For me, I had safe foods that I would eat constantly. So there are a number of reasons that you could be eating one particular food. It could be sensory issues. So I would be curious as to why a burrito for so long. Not that we have to do therapy.We're not leaving here until we figure out why Monica ate that burrito 14 days in a row.Actor's like, please give therapy.It was so weird. Yeah. I mean, it started out as just tasty, and then it became like, well, this is. I really don't know what happened, but I needed to have it every day. And then it became the only thing I was eating every day. And then, honestly, part of it, I was getting so full on it. I think it was like, this is kind of a hack. I just have to eat this very day. And then it started to feel like, I think this is weird for me. This probably is becoming unhealthy. I don't have an eating disorder. I've never struggled with that. But this is feeling a little adjacent. Adjacent in a way that I'm not comfortable with.Right.Because you need more food than a burrito during the day, for sure. And it could be a fixation. I mean, I sometimes will eat chipotle multiple times a week. You know, it doesn't have anything to do with my OCD. It's just a fixation on what tastes good. Yeah, could be that, too. But we often use obsession or I'm so OCD to describe so many things that just aren't.Yeah.Yes, yes, yes. Now. And we're getting along so well, and I like this so much. Truly.Were you worried?No, not at all. I don't think you would have come if you absolutely weren't. Yeah. Yeah. I think that said everything about both of us that we would want to sit down and chat. One part I can't relate to tremendously, but now that I've read a bunch of what you've written, it certainly makes more sense. But if I hear a guy on a podcast saying he's an alcoholic because he drank too much one Saturday night, I don't care. I can't relate to being upset. People are using it wrong, and I'm curious why it's upsetting, and I think it's well founded, and I just would love for you to explain.So if we're going to go with the addiction and the alcoholism example, I think most people know what addiction is, and I think that there's a difference with OCD. If I could have, from day one, known that that was OCD, I would have saved myself a lot of pain and suffering, and I didn't. It took aspects of my life that I will never be able to get back. And the OCD community in particular, gets very activated about that because there just is very little representation. You have such an amazing audience. By doing this episode, you're saving so many lives. So I think people especially want people who have platforms to talk about the condition accurately.Like, maybe in 20 years, we'll be in a spot where everyone knows what.Right?But we don't.Right now, even on instagram, when I post about sexual intrusive thoughts, it's. There's another white woman promoting bestiality. And it's like, that's definitely not what this is. But, you know, people just don't know about it. So then when we keep hearing I'm so OCD, or whatever it might be, it really impacts people's lives, and it prevents them from getting the help they need.Well, what I really got a lot of understanding out of was you writing about the five taboo and very common OCD obsessions, because it started to make a lot of sense, which is if your garden variety knowledge of OCD is checking the locks twice or as you say in media, what's most commonly presented, and certainly, I agree, is someone washing their hands a lot. That's, like, what we like in movies. Well, first of all, it's very visual.Yes.Right.The internal stuff is a little bit harder.So if the common colloquial understanding of OCD is that, then when you're wrestling with these five taboo ocds, any one of them or a combination of them, you think you're uniquely broken. Not that you have this thing. Cause this thing is checking your door locks, which you don't do, so you don't even know. And then I was like, yeah, that makes a ton of sense. That's very, very valid.Right. The locks and the washing and the sanitizing, such a small portion. Not necessarily small in terms of not a lot of people have it. But if we're looking at just writer contamination obsessions, there's also violent obsessions, postpartum obsessions, sexual obsessions. OCD spans so much more than that, but that's all we hear about, as if that's 100% of the condition right now.Okay, I want to go through the five taboos because, yeah, this must be so distressing to be trying to evaluate what you are in spite of all these intrusive thoughts. And I also think just really quick, because I found myself figuring out the difference as I was reading obsessive and compulsive. These are kind of two pieces of something. It's an order.Yes. So obsession is repetitive, unwanted thoughts, images, or urges that are intrusive and often distressing for the person. So it's recurrent. It's not just one thought that pops in. Like, I think I heard you say, well, I have intrusive thoughts from time to time. We all do. People without OCD can let them go. It's like, that was an odd thought, and you move on with your day. For the person with OCD, it sticks, it multiplies, and it replays all day long. That is the obsession. It could be a what if. So what if I'm a pedophile? It could be a sexual phrase. I used to have so many of those. And then that causes a lot of discomfort, whether that's anxiety, panic, guilt, shame. And the person feels compelled to perform the compulsion, the physical or mental act that the person is performing to neutralize the obsession, to prevent that bad thing from happening, to solve the obsession, to alleviate the discomfort. And that just reinforces the obsession and you're stuck in that.Yeah. So that's great. So I guess when I was thinking about it is like the compulsivity is what you're observing, but that might not even be reflective of the obsession.They might not be connected, you're saying.Right, well, just like, yeah. If you were observing someone from the outside and you noticed that they had some of these compulsivities, it's not so intuitive. It's like how they're choosing to regulate and address and fix and nullify. The obsession isn't so direct. It can be, but also it might not be.Right. Some people with sexual obsessions will wash, let's say, their vagina or penis after having an unwanted thought, because they think that that's the thing that neutralizes it. To the outsider, it would be like, why are you washing that during the middle of your work day? 18 times?You didn't even think they were a germaphobe.There we go. So you can't always. Or it could be if I don't tap this wood, then I'm going to snap in my sleep and kill my child. Right. And people wouldn't think that the tapping of the wood has something to do with that. And you also don't always see people's compulsions. Mine are all mental. Nobody would have ever known that I was performing compulsions, because they all happened in the mind.Right.Did you know? So when I said, I have interest, totally. I do. And at this point, I do think they go away. But I did have a period of time after a major family incident where I was having intrusive thoughts, could not stop. And the thought was, what if I kill myself because there was a suicide incident and I thought this was PTSD for a while, but maybe it wasn't because it would just be like, flashes of what if I've done that, but not will I do it. It's just if I looked down and it had happened, sort of, it was. And it was constant and it was debilitating.Absolutely.But I don't think I had any compulsions to neutralize it that I know of.Okay. Were you ruminating? Were you analyzing, boom. Compulsion? Right. So if you're trying to figure the obsession out in your mind, like, would I do that?Congratulations.Thank you.I did it. We all three. And I didn't know when I was struggling that I was doing mental compulsions. I thought it was all obsessions, but I was trying to solve it in my head, trying to get rid of the thought, even if you're trying to suppress it and push it away. Mental compulsion. But it's tough because there are also intrusive thoughts with PTSD. So I see why your brain went there.Maybe it is that. I don't know.And intrusive thoughts with PTSD tend to be more so about the trauma that occurred, and the person might be avoiding things. Cause they don't wanna relive that trauma where OCD is more. This irrational fear that is popping up.Seems like a weird combo. Maybe.I was gonna say, I see both in yours. Not that I'm diagnosing you.No, no, you're allowed to. By the way, we're happy to take any.I mean, your license is your issue, not ours. So feel free to let the diagnoses fly.I feel like I wanna know more.Stay tuned for more. Armchair expert, if you dare. Okay, so another really relevant part of all this, and you said it a second ago, but I think it's worth really drilling into. And maybe we could start. There's five, but pedophile obsession seems the best place to start to illustrate the difference between an OCD or a pedophile OCD person has versus a pedophile. You just dropped it quickly. But there's a great term. Ego dystonic versus ego syntonic. Okay, so give us a picture of what someone struggling with pedophile obsession is going through and how much it doesn't align.There are a couple of moving parts to this. The first is the ego dystonic nature of OCD. And what that means is the obsessions are opposite to the person's values, desires, self concept, what they know about themselves. So they're having all of these unwanted thoughts that don't line up with who they are. Could be, what if I'm a pedophile? It could be, what if I snap and sexually molest a child? What if I molested a kid in the past and I just forgot? So there's kind of different variations of it, and it is the farthest thing from a pedophile. People with POCD commonly avoid kids because they want to make absolutely sure that nothing bad happens to the kid. Or new moms who have this will lock themselves in their bedroom and make their partner take care of the kid because they want their kid to be safe. People with POCD often don't want to see kids because they don't want to have the thoughts. That differs greatly from a pedophile, who does align with the arousal, the desire, the attraction to prepubescent. Children, even if they don't act on it.Well, I was gonna say, even they don't act on it, they're masturbating to it.Often masturbating to it. Or they still know I am attracted to children. And that's not the person with OCD. The person is doubting what they know when they have OCD. It's, what if I'm a pedophile, even though I know that I'm not. And it's wild because it's like, but don't you just know that you're not? But when you have OCD, it is not that simple. I knew I wasn't. But when you're being bombarded with a thousand million intrusive thoughts a day, get, like, naked images of children pop into my mind, and then you feel something because you're having a sexual thought. It's not as simple as, don't you just know that you're not? It's a doubting disorder, and your brain is not firing in the way that someone's brain without OCD is, like, this.Abstract fear based in nothing, based in literally nothing.But then I'm sitting there all day long like, am I a pedophile? Even though I know I'm not. Seems like the biggest waste of your time, but I just couldn't get it out of my mind.Yeah, and you would. Although this could be part of the compulsion. I was gonna say you would never go search for images like a pedophile would. But also, I could see a part of the compulsion. I actually need to look at those to prove to myself I don't like it.I'm so glad that you said that. And there was actually a battle in one of my videos in the comment section the other day, so most people with POCD don't. That is a huge fear of theirs, even so much so that when they're watching porn, if the word teen is in, I'll have clients come in and say, oh, my God, am I a pedophile? Because I watched one that said teen, and it's like, they're over 18. I mean, I would hope I will say that there are definitely some people who have looked at it to prove to themselves that they are nothing, and that is a whole different beast, because then they feel so much shame that they've done it and they're not pedophiles. But you are so deep in it, you are struggling immensely. And you think by looking at this thing, I'm going to finally have the answer. I'm going to know that I'm not. Now, what probably happens is you feel something down there, because when we have sexual thoughts, even if we don't align with them, we tend to feel something.I would even argue like that is the perversive nature of suppression almost. There's something really interesting about suppression and fear that it's all together.Oh, for sure. There are people with OCD who, unfortunately, have looked at that compulsively. That does not mean that they are a pedophile. They don't align with it even if they're having a groinal response. Again, trigger warning, rape. People who have been assaulted, they might orgasm because the body responds. So even feeling something when you have a sexual thought doesn't mean you desire it or align with it.Yeah. Or whatever. Want to experience that in your real life?Oh, God. Yeah. Yeah.So, yeah, we went through some of them, but I wrote down some that I think are interesting. Well, also, could you explain to us the difference between these two very common things? There's the what if, and then there's the command obsession. So there's, like, two different. Thank you for addressing columns of this.I think that some people think that to have an obsession, it has to start with what if. Or to have an intrusive thought, it has to start with what if. Like, what if I'm a pedophile? People also get intrusive thoughts, like, you are a pedophile, or people with harm obsessions might get intrusive thoughts like kill them or rape them, where you feel like it's your brain telling you to do something or that you want to do something that you absolutely don't. It's still an intrusive thought, and it doesn't mean that you're any more likely to act on it. And I think those scare people more, because it's like, if my brain is telling me, you are a pedophile, then I really must be.Yeah, your brain's telling you all the things, right? How do you know what's real and what's not real?Right. So it might not show up as neatly as, what if I'm a pedophile? It might be you are a pedophile or. Or sexual images of children or sexual phrases, or even, like, noises in people's minds. Very graphic. It's not a fun time.Okay. And now, at the risk of perpetuating another stereotype, I can't help but resist the overlap between that and the call of the void, which is something I think people are very familiar with. And I'm wondering how you think about that. So a lot of people experience standing on a skyscraper, and the voice is telling them, jump off the building. Jump off the building. Jump off. Now I get that a ton. I can almost not stand on a tall building because my brain screaming, jump. I wonder if that could help people understand this, because although that's probably not OCD, and if you're only on top of a skyscraper and it's happening, not a disorder, but if you've experienced that, perhaps that's a way you can kind of understand that.I'm so glad you described that, because when you said the call of the void, I had no idea we were talking about.Oh, okay.I was like, oh, my God, this is gonna be the one question I can't answer. Okay.They call that the call of the.Void have new language. That's wonderful. So that is exactly it for people with OCD. And I don't necessarily like that. We describe OCD or obsession sometimes as urges, because I think that implies that a person desires it. When we hear, I have the urge to go to in, n out, or I have the urge to have sex with x, y, and z, we think of that as, you really want to do it. For the person with OCD, it's more of a really strong feeling internally that's paired with a scary thought, and they don't want to do it. When you're standing on a tall building, you might feel this internal pull, but it's not an urge per se, because you're not wanting to jump off the building. For the person with harm OCD who's holding a knife, and they gotta pray every morning.I'm like, oh, we gotta do that meditation, I think. Don't you feel like it's gotten better since you've been meditating?Well, unfortunately, it's just so far away from when I meditated in the day, it's like the end of the day. I'm sorry. I'm obsessed, and I'm not gonna get a perfect night's sleep. All the things that are gonna fall apart. Cause I don't get the good night. And then all of a sudden, it all gets hung on this bladder.Of course.Yeah, all roads lead to my bladder, I guess.So. Moment awareness, the more you strengthen that, for me anyway, helps with some of this where I can be like, whatever I feel. I might have to pee, but I'm not going.I'm gonna come back to the present moment.Yeah.Mindfulness was huge in my own recovery. It helped me so much.Well, earmark that. Cause I want you to walk us through the kind of course of action, but in effort to destigmatize this stuff and let people know that what they're dealing with is common and has a solution. I think we should go through a few more of the taboo. And you point out at the beginning of this piece I read that the stakes seem incredibly high, and they are in that the fear of, I'm gonna go talk to somebody and tell them I'm thinking about killing my baby. You're immediately thinking you're gonna have the police called on you.Yeah. That's why I didn't want to seek help. I knew I was having these sexual thoughts about kids, but I wasn't gonna go tell a stranger that and then risk them saying, you're a pedophile. I'm calling the police. And unfortunately, it does happen where doctors and clinicians who don't understand OCD treat someone with suicidal obsessions as if they actually are suicidal, violent obsessions as if they are homicidal. It does happen.Right. So you're saying one feared outcome would be getting the police called on you, but then another one would be a 5150.That's happened for people who have suicidal obsessions, and they're not suicidal, their brain is going kind of like you were talking about, what if I kill myself? Even though they don't want to, my.Heart and compassion goes out to the doctor sitting on the other side of that. They're like, oh, my God, if I don't do so, I mean, that's a very hard call to make decision on the other end. I'd rather be wrong in there alive. I'm sympathetic to.Of course.Yeah.And that's why this is so important, because more doctors need awareness about OCD. And what's ego dystonic versus ego syntonic?Right. So if someone who has suicidal ideations also is thinking, and the world would be better off without me, my family would be better off without me, like, things would be better. Like this is in accord with my principles. Would that symbolize the difference?Yeah. For instance, people with suicidal obsessions, they are hiding their knives. They are throwing away sharp objects. They are people. They're like, hey, um, I just thought of this. Been there, done that. And they're like, no, no. Okay. I gotta tell you the one really quick, though. Cause I was on a USO tour, and this is a little bit mean, but bear with me. Oh, no. And when you're on a USO tour, we were in Afghanistan, and every time you stop somewhere, they ask you to sign stuff. Like, you ended up signing so many tanks and, like, maybe the inside of helicopters. You sign a lot of stuff. Again, I don't have a catchphrase. I don't know what to say.You could say you've been punked.You know, I think I wrote that a couple times, but then it was like, they didn't get punk. They're there fighting. It was challenging. Okay, so what I found out was that Larry the cable guy was going to be there in two weeks on the next us. And once I found that out, everything I signed, I wrote get her done. Dax shepherd. Because I was like, of course he's gonna have to sign this stuff. And that's his catchphrase, and he's gonna be like, what the fuck? He can't write get her done. That's what I was gonna write. And then he had to think of something. Maybe he wrote, you just got punked.Maybe.I'd sure like to know if he did ever come across that signature. Feel like he had to have.Yeah.Because everything I was signing had been signed. You know, there was about 20 other signatures from other people.Why didn't you just sign your name?Well. Cause you gotta write something. You can't.Sometimes I think that's the pitfall. Like, just. Just sign your name. Put a heart. Well, I do that smiley face.Here's the extra problem that compounds all this. My signature, my quote, autograph is illegible. You've seen it. It doesn't mean anything. So I often in those situations when it's like on a USO tour, I sign it, and then. Then I have to write Dax because I'm like, this means nothing. But. And then maybe with a catchphrase or some kind words, I don't know.Sure.But I wrote get her done everywhere I went.Yeah. That is mean.Or funny. Is it funny, though, too?Yeah.When you think of Larry the cable guy reading his catchphrase, like, if I knew Michael Buffer was coming the week after, and I wrote let's get ready to rumble every time, you'd owe him so much money. I wonder how they even. God, what are the rules? Like? I can understand not going on television and saying it at a fight, but can no one in the world say, let's get ready to rumble now?I'm worried we might.No, this is news. We're covering it. We're now a new show.We're allowed to say it on the news.Yeah, you can say anything on the news. You can sing happy birthday.You can.I don't know. What I do know is if you have a documentary, any music you'd have in a movie, you have to get licensing for from the artists or whatever the publisher. But if you're making a documentary and you're walking through the streets of New York and beat it is playing on a loudspeaker. You're allowed to have that in there.Really?It's not called eminent domain, but it's one of those words like that, like, where it's just. It's. It's unavoidable. You didn't put it there. I don't know.Well, this is a doc, so it's fine.Yeah, this is currently a doc.And the news.It's a documentary about the news. Let's get ready to rumble.Stop saying it. I'm worried.And get her done.Oh, my God.Do you want to put any out there?No. I'm going to be karmically well, and I'm just going to say, ding, ding, ding.Those are the reverse back.Reverse back? Yeah. I got one today.Oh, you did?Mm hmm.Oh, what could feel better?Yeah, it's been tough figuring out her order lately, so I was pleased she's.Getting spicy for the summer.Yeah. I feel bad. Cause I did publicly say, I think she hates summer. I'm taking that back.Oh, did you say that on synced?I thought I said it here. Maybe I said it on synced.Maybe you said it on our text chain. You definitely said it on our text chain.Oh, well, I said it again. Oh, man, I'm getting caught that I said things twice.You're never allowed to say anything twice. And if you do, you have to copyright it.But I take it back. But for a while, she was feeling real feisty at the beginning of the summer. And I don't blame her. It's hot. Like, it's hot out. And people get crabby and testy, including me. I've decided that I want to go somewhere for a couple days.You gotta get out of there.I gotta get out because my apartment is so hot, and then outside is so hot. There's nowhere to go. Except my bedroom is kind of. If I keep the door closed and the fan on, it's okay. But then I'm just in my room. Like I'm depressed in there.Well, I don't wanna be critical of your apartment or your apartment building or the management of it. But it is curious that they mounted one air conditioner in your whole apartment. And they put it in the kitchen where no one sits to watch tv and no one sleeps. It's an interesting spot for it.Yeah.Have you considered moving your bed into the kitchen? Think about it.That's a good thought. No, I just gotta go. I gotta leave. I gotta get out of here.Traditionally, this is when I would spend a lot of time at the movie theater. Like when I lived in Santa Monica with no air conditioning. Come September, when I get blazing, I'd see a couple movies a day just to beat the heat.Yeah.Not gonna do it.I'm not in the mood for movies right now.So you haven't found a pool since I last spoke to you, I'm guessing.No, I have not.Really?Yeah, I haven't.And you don't like my idea of checking into a hotel. Stay calm.I might. I might. I looked into going to a hotel. I won't say which one.Okay. Ice cold air conditioning.I assume they have gray air conditioning.Based on the brand of the hotel.I'm not gonna finish that sentence.Okay.But I assume they have great air conditioning. Cause it's a hotel, so. And I've never been to this hotel, so it might be a fun thing to do now. Oh, God.Wait. You wanna talk about it?I wanna talk about something.Yeah, let's talk. Let's talk about it.I think at this point, he needs addressing seconds.Yeah, so go ahead. So, should we sell the full story or.The full story?I think.Okay, full story is. You were joking. You were. You were making a joke.I made a bad joke check involving.One of our advertisers.And yes, to be clear, because people heard it, it's also gone now. So if you try to go back, you can't find it. But it was, to me, it was obviously, obviously a joke, but that wasn't so clear.Right. Well, there was a handful of people in the comments that said something about that. And then, so the advertiser saw that and so we got contacted. So we're like, okay, no problem, we'll take that out. That was a joke, but if doesn't sound like one, we'll take it out. And then, because you knew that those comments that we're now kind of defending and or evaluating whether or not we act, you decided are from when people are asking, but I'm not gonna say. I'm not gonna say that I wanna go to this hotel and where it is and how fun it is. And that sucks because I also know there's a big group that wants to know that and wants to see the outfits or know about them.Yeah.So it's just this bizarre valley. I think that one of the more hurtful ones was about. Well, there was some that I found misogynistic. Those were rough or, like, double standardy. Then there was some, basically, that I betrayed them, and I was like, hmm. I've never not been this, so. I haven't.You've been living at the mall since you were a kid?I've not been like, I'm a huge man of the people. I've never been that. Even when I worked at Soulcycle, I wasn't that. Like, that's not me. And so I haven't betrayed anyone. I've just attained a little more. So I've had a little more access, but I've stayed pretty true to my values, wants, needs, all of that stuff. And, like, that's all I can really do.Well, this hotel with the ice cold air conditioning sounds like a fortune.Shut up. God, you're trying to take me out.Never.Is that Groot?Yeah. Yeah, I'm with Groot. Of course I'm with Groot. I sleep with grass.Because you're his granddad.Yeah. I asked because she tossed him to me, and he landed perfectly in my nook. And I said, oh, he landed in my nook. And then I said, wait, is gruta he or she? She or they? And she said, groot's a groot. He doesn't. They. She goes, groots don't have genders like we do, okay?I mean, Groot is a tree. Really?Oh, by the way, you. We haven't figured out what kind of boy I am. Because you're a cookie boy. Amy Poehler is the bedtime boy, and.You'Re just a boy's boy.No, I'm a lake Boyden boy.Oh, sure, yeah, yeah.Finally figured it out. I'm a lake boy. Boy, do I love a lake. I get in there and just paddle around like a little dog. Like a little lake dog.Yeah. Okay, wait, hold on. I have a little more to say about the other thing, which is. So this hotel. Yeah, I want to go to. I want to go just for a couple days, and I'm going to have to probably go by myself.Okay.It's a very complicated thing to talk about, but.But you just.It's universal. I mean, not universal, but it affects a lot of people on both sides of this. But, like, I want to go with a couple people that I know could go.Right, but you don't have to pay for them.Exactly. And it wouldn't even be responsible to ask them.Yeah, right. You'd have to offer to pay for them to go.Yeah. And it circles back to all the things we've always talked about on here, which is like, what's the point of going to this nice place if you're.Alone, although you're reading all fours? So I feel like if there were ever a moment where you could be alone, felt like you had a reason to go alone.It's also an interesting thought for me because I love going places alone. I travel alone all the time.Yeah. You go to New York.I love it. But for some reason, in this particular circumstance, I don't know why. Maybe it's just my current headspace where I'm like, oh, oh, I want buddies there. Like, I want my friend. I wanna bring friends.Right.But that would mean that I would be paying double for something that's already a lot. And what is this? Like, it's just all confused. I'm confused.Yeah. Yeah. And you know how I did it for years and years and years, which is just. I paid for people to go everywhere, and then some of those people ended up really resenting me for that, which I couldn't really make peace with. I'm like, why? Why are you resentful towards me?Yeah, it's really complicated.Yeah. Then meets the eye.Yeah.Basically, there's some people that I can do that with, and there's no resentment, and there's other people that, they resent me when I do that, which. So it's very confusing.Yeah. But then this is how weird silos happen. And then it's like, then only rich people can travel with rich people. Like, that's awful. Yeah, I don't want that at all. I enjoy the people in my life, and there's varying degrees of financial success within that. I don't want to change any of the people around me. So that's for me to then decide. Like, do I pay? Do I go alone? I don't know.Yeah, I don't have a very clear answer.Yeah, I don't think there is one. And maybe it just depends on the day.Yeah, it totally depends on the day. I really think it's person specific. You know, I have a very successful friend who's much older than me who said to me at one point, they had had a bad experience with some family members they supported, and then those people really mad at them, and they were talking to their therapist. The therapist said, the key is that relationships have to be respected, reciprocal. So if it can't be financial, it's almost on the person who's got the money to figure out how the other person can reciprocate by some other method. Or that's when it starts getting really fucked up. And I thought that was really interesting. I heard that a few years ago, and I think, I feel like I.Observe that there's also resentment that comes up from the other side.Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, I have friends all the time who will be like, yeah, I lent so and so money. They were broke. But then I saw they bought a new car. You know, those little things that happen. And then I'm like, yeah, you can't ever lend anyone money. You just have to give. Give someone money. Literally think, yeah, they might go buy a fucking four wheeler with it. I don't know. Zachary.Yes, a hundred percent. That's really a good lesson. And no string that's attached.Yep. Yeah, basically. Yeah. Yes. I also think the unavoidable thing is, is you do end up having more control than is healthy a relationship. Because basically you're picking, right? Like, if you're gonna invite people to where you want to go, you've just. You have picked.Yeah.And even that's a weird dynamic. I know, because what if you said, like, hey, whoever, do you want to come with me to x? And they go, no, but why don't you take us to Santa Barbara, this other hotel? That would feel a little crazy. But at the same time, if it's a friend trip, maybe that's part of it. I don't fucking know.Like, all of this is not good. I don't know.No, it's not good. It comes back to now how, what I also, I gotta add right now is I think this too. If you chose to see this, you could choose to see this conversation as two rich people talking about like, oh, God, what do they do? This happens on every ladder of the socio economic. Because my bro, I remember my brother was, started making more money than all of us. And he even said to me, this is why people of the same socioeconomic bracket hang out. Because. And I. And I was like, bullshit. I would. I didn't think there's any validity to it, but this whole idea in the book that, you know, basically you're climbing and you're climbing, and then basically you're levitating for a minute, and then from then on, you're falling.Yeah. Yeah. That's the battle I'm in right now.It's tough. I mean, this idea that, like, oh, from this point forward, and I'm just, like, inching towards the end is scary, but it's all perspective. Like, that wasn't my ultimate takeaway. By the end, I think it has a more optimistic ending. I would really recommend it, and I want men to read it.I will. I'll do it. I saw some photos of myself on this trip where I was like, oh, boy, are we losing our hair? Like, really quick? Is that what's going on today? I'm telling you, really? I don't know if it's lighting or whatever. I'm like, whoa, are we. We're much thinner than I thought we were. And I was online today getting a topical finasteride.Oh, nice.Yeah, yeah. Like, panicked. I'm like, jesus Christ, here we go. I'm gonna look just like my dad. Gonna have a big dome. Yeah. No, I was looking at myself in the mirror, like, imagining myself. Cause at the rate, you know, you know, when you panic in my mind, the rate at which it's falling out, probably by August, I'm gonna look like my dad, but I'm gonna fight it. I'm gonna get every topical known to man, and I ordered several of them today.Yeah, yeah, it's.I know. Yeah. It's not gonna get better for me. It's not gonna get better.Well, no, no, no, no. That's not true.No, hold on. My life may get better, but physically, I'm not gonna be getting better.It's how we define better.Yeah, Balder, I guess Balder's better. You get more vitamin D through the sun exposure.Oh, yeah. Okay, real quick. So some facts, not very many. This is for Allegra.Now. I got it. Just always to keep ourselves honest. This was definitely a good thing that came out of the comments. This is one. We got to give the check in the pros for this one.Okay. I loved this episode. I learned so much. I have so much compassion for people who suffer with this.Absolutely. Oh, man.Oh, man.All consuming, it sounds.Yeah. Okay. The difference between a cortado and a cappuccino.Oh, okay. That came up.Yep. It's the amount of milk. So a cortado consists of equal parts espresso and steamed milk, ensuring a balanced flavor. A latte has one to three ratio of coffee to milk, making it a milkier option. Finally, a cappuccino features equal parts of espresso, steamed milk, and frothy milk foam, delivering a thicker and foamier texture compared to the other two.Well, perfect timing. Ding, ding, ding. I don't ever drink cappuccinos. And I've had probably 65 since I got.Oh, I love cappuccino. That's my go to.It's so fucking good because coffee is so bad everywhere. That's not unique to Norway. Like, so few people are into coffee the way Americans are.Right?Black coffee, Americano. Like, if you get an American, you know it's an Americano. It's not. So you gotta go cappuccino when you're overseas. And, man, have I been putting them back.Why don't you try cortado next time, see if you like it.Yeah, I'll see if that rings a bell. Next place I'm ordering one, they'll know it. What we found out, what we found out, at least at the last place is we kept ordering double cappuccinos. Cause Eric and I want two shot. We want an extra shot in there. And they said, that's a flat white. We would never call it a double cappuccino. So now we've been ordering flat whites and boy, boy George. Are those good?Yeah, flat whites are good. Okay. There's a chart about all of them, which is fun. You can buy the chart on etsy.Okay.A breve, which you know about. Oh, brevi latte, average espresso added with steamed half and half to create.Yeah. When I first met Will Arnett, he introduced me to the breve on let's go to prison. And we were blasting those brevies until we realized they're like 9000 calories was a cannonball that had been shot at this church, and they left it in the wall.Okay.So you could go look. It's still lodged in the wall. So we're driving in the car to the next place, and we're in the car for hours, and I don't know where delta just goes, hey, mom, you know how they chose to leave that cannonball in the wall, and over time, it became an artifact? I think the next time you tell me to pick up my clothes, I'm just gonna leave them in hopes that they'll become an artifact.That's cute.That's funny. What a wonderful train of thought that was.Yeah. I love that she's so smart.She is. Lincoln's so adventurous. She's been jumping off everything and scaring me. I looked up. We were playing spades and drinking coffee on this patio of the hotel. And I look up, and I see Lincoln, who certainly doesn't think I can see her. They're on the fifth floor, and she has gone out on the railing of the balcony and has gone around the outside of. Of the post holding it up. Something I definitely did a million times. When I was a kid, and I was just watching this from 100 yards away, and she's on the fifth floor, and I'm like, yeah. Oh.Oh, scary, my child. Yeah, that's your fault.Yeah, it is totally my fault.Okay, now chai means tea in Hindi.I know, I know, I know.Okay, did you.Cause I did. I did. I did.I just.Because we say chai tea, which is redundant. And when we posted the bill Gates thing, people were like, chai is tea. I'm like, I know, but. But people still say chai tea, where I'm posting this, I guess, and chai tastes so specific. It's different than green tea and. And herbamante tea.I just like. Of course we changed it.We had to. We had no choice.We did.Not too many offerings at all. Back when there was only one flavor of tea. You could just say chai.Well, we could have made the other teas. We could have made them green chai, you know?Yeah, that's fair.Yeah.Okay.Okay. We were coming up with other people named Allegra, and you said allegra busses, but it's actually Allegra. Allegro bus.A couple days after I had said that, I was looking at Instagram, and I follow a guy who has an allegro bus, and he had posted a picture of it, and I was like, mm. That was wrong. It's Allegro.Yeah.I'm glad you looked that up. Lest anyone has searched the Internet trying to buy an Allegro bus.Allegro. That's it. There really weren't much facts.Chai is tea.Chai is tea.Quartado is not cappuccino.Mm hmm. Cappuccino has faux milk and steamed milk.Don't drink venti brevi lattes.No. Do it if you want. I'm not telling people what to do.You're not gonna be on a campaign against brevy lattes.Mm mm. I bet a cream top is a.Breve of sorts, but with ice cream batter. That's a birthday drink. Birthday cake drink. Armor. Armor. Well, I hope you go. Listen, don't listen to these haters. I hope you go find yourself an ice cold, air conditioned room and a nice pool to swim around in.Thank.Oh, yeah. One of that episode is when we were talking about Hermes. So that's what threw people over the edge, right?Yeah.Also, ironically, that was a Tuesday that this was happening.Yeah.Based on the Monday episode, Wednesday was an episode of synced, and we, of course, had talked about it also on synced.Oh, okay.So Tuesday night, when all this was happening, I was like, fuck.Like this.There's an episode tomorrow about. With more Hermes chit chatter.Yeah.I was like, I'm gonna pull the episode. Oh, I really almost did. Because I was like, I can't. I can't handle what's about to come.Yeah.And then I thought, no, we have advertisers on that episode that it will fuck over. Like, I'm just gonna have to deal with this. And then I did. But you said the pool. One of the comments was. Cause I was talking about the towels. And she was like, she doesn't even know how to swim.I got real personal.Yeah. Oh, it got so personal. It got so personal. One is she was probably tipsy.Oh, wow.Yeah. Like, mean shit.Mean.Try to be nice. Just gonna leave it there. Try to be nice in this world if you can.Give it a shot. Give it a shot.Try it out.Give it a shot. See how it feels. All right, well, I love you. I can't wait for our next check in. These are so it. Bye.

detail. People who say, I really need my spreadsheets to be in this way, they get mad at others often, who don't align with the way that they view things. There might be excessive devotion to work, so much perfectionism that can interfere with the person's ability to get a task done, but they think it's kind of like my way or the highway. This is how things should be done. There's a lot of inflexibility and a lot of rigidity. I think people often also don't talk about OCPD accurately. But when people are saying, I'm so OCD, I think what they're saying is, I'm detail oriented. I like to organize. Well, that is not OCD. OCD is an ego dystonic condition.

Well, now I will say this, and this is a time I misuse it. I am so uncomfortable when things that are hanging are not level. And I'll go, oh, this is my OCD. But that's my OCPD. If I was gonna say it.

Yeah.

Even. Cause it should be level in your head. I don't disagree. You know, like, I don't think I want it level, but it should be crooked. I think I want it level and should be level.

Totally. And that might not be distressing to you at that time, where if someone had, let's say, just right, OCD or perfectionism OCD, that would distress them, and they would feel the urge to do that over and over and over again until an internal sense of rightness is achieved. So there is that aspect to OCD, but it's also a very small sliver of how OCD can manifest.

And is it fair to say, as well, it's also spectrum. Yeah. So it's like, even as you're describing it, like, yeah, I want it level. It should be level. Also, it's deeply unsettling in a bad luck way. So it's like, just, like, inching towards. Is it a spectrum?

I guess that's a really great question. To be diagnosed with OCD, obsessions and compulsions have to take up at least an hour of your day. Or cause clinically significant distress or impairment in functioning. So, yes, technically speaking, now there are more severe levels of OCD. Some people require residential treatment, whereas others can be treated in an outpatient setting once a week. But if you meet criteria for having OCD, there has to be some kind of impairment in functioning or distress.

That's a great metric too. An hour a day. Yeah, because right now, not a chance.

Yeah.

I'm not spending no five minutes of my days as a kid. It was a couple hours a day, you know.

There we go.

Right? Yeah. Interesting. Monica, I cut you off twice.

No, no, no. Well, I've been eating this burrito. I stopped, but I was eating a burrito kind of obsessively. It was all I was eating. And then I thought, something weird's happening where this is becoming obsessive. But it wasn't causing me any stress. But I also wasn't like, this is the way it should be. Everyone should be eating burritos every day. So it was just kind of this, like, neutral obsession, sort of. But then I stopped easily. So maybe that's also.

Maybe the word would be just better use habitual. Like, it became really habitual.

Yeah, but it was a little.

There was some suspicious.

I want to dissect your. Right. So was it a safe food for you? There could be so many reasons that people. I'm not saying you have an eating disorder, but people with eating disorders have foods. For instance, apples. For me, I had safe foods that I would eat constantly. So there are a number of reasons that you could be eating one particular food. It could be sensory issues. So I would be curious as to why a burrito for so long. Not that we have to do therapy.

We're not leaving here until we figure out why Monica ate that burrito 14 days in a row.

Actor's like, please give therapy.

It was so weird. Yeah. I mean, it started out as just tasty, and then it became like, well, this is. I really don't know what happened, but I needed to have it every day. And then it became the only thing I was eating every day. And then, honestly, part of it, I was getting so full on it. I think it was like, this is kind of a hack. I just have to eat this very day. And then it started to feel like, I think this is weird for me. This probably is becoming unhealthy. I don't have an eating disorder. I've never struggled with that. But this is feeling a little adjacent. Adjacent in a way that I'm not comfortable with.

Right.

Because you need more food than a burrito during the day, for sure. And it could be a fixation. I mean, I sometimes will eat chipotle multiple times a week. You know, it doesn't have anything to do with my OCD. It's just a fixation on what tastes good. Yeah, could be that, too. But we often use obsession or I'm so OCD to describe so many things that just aren't.

Yeah.

Yes, yes, yes. Now. And we're getting along so well, and I like this so much. Truly.

Were you worried?

No, not at all. I don't think you would have come if you absolutely weren't. Yeah. Yeah. I think that said everything about both of us that we would want to sit down and chat. One part I can't relate to tremendously, but now that I've read a bunch of what you've written, it certainly makes more sense. But if I hear a guy on a podcast saying he's an alcoholic because he drank too much one Saturday night, I don't care. I can't relate to being upset. People are using it wrong, and I'm curious why it's upsetting, and I think it's well founded, and I just would love for you to explain.

So if we're going to go with the addiction and the alcoholism example, I think most people know what addiction is, and I think that there's a difference with OCD. If I could have, from day one, known that that was OCD, I would have saved myself a lot of pain and suffering, and I didn't. It took aspects of my life that I will never be able to get back. And the OCD community in particular, gets very activated about that because there just is very little representation. You have such an amazing audience. By doing this episode, you're saving so many lives. So I think people especially want people who have platforms to talk about the condition accurately.

Like, maybe in 20 years, we'll be in a spot where everyone knows what.

Right?

But we don't.

Right now, even on instagram, when I post about sexual intrusive thoughts, it's. There's another white woman promoting bestiality. And it's like, that's definitely not what this is. But, you know, people just don't know about it. So then when we keep hearing I'm so OCD, or whatever it might be, it really impacts people's lives, and it prevents them from getting the help they need.

Well, what I really got a lot of understanding out of was you writing about the five taboo and very common OCD obsessions, because it started to make a lot of sense, which is if your garden variety knowledge of OCD is checking the locks twice or as you say in media, what's most commonly presented, and certainly, I agree, is someone washing their hands a lot. That's, like, what we like in movies. Well, first of all, it's very visual.

Yes.

Right.

The internal stuff is a little bit harder.

So if the common colloquial understanding of OCD is that, then when you're wrestling with these five taboo ocds, any one of them or a combination of them, you think you're uniquely broken. Not that you have this thing. Cause this thing is checking your door locks, which you don't do, so you don't even know. And then I was like, yeah, that makes a ton of sense. That's very, very valid.

Right. The locks and the washing and the sanitizing, such a small portion. Not necessarily small in terms of not a lot of people have it. But if we're looking at just writer contamination obsessions, there's also violent obsessions, postpartum obsessions, sexual obsessions. OCD spans so much more than that, but that's all we hear about, as if that's 100% of the condition right now.

Okay, I want to go through the five taboos because, yeah, this must be so distressing to be trying to evaluate what you are in spite of all these intrusive thoughts. And I also think just really quick, because I found myself figuring out the difference as I was reading obsessive and compulsive. These are kind of two pieces of something. It's an order.

Yes. So obsession is repetitive, unwanted thoughts, images, or urges that are intrusive and often distressing for the person. So it's recurrent. It's not just one thought that pops in. Like, I think I heard you say, well, I have intrusive thoughts from time to time. We all do. People without OCD can let them go. It's like, that was an odd thought, and you move on with your day. For the person with OCD, it sticks, it multiplies, and it replays all day long. That is the obsession. It could be a what if. So what if I'm a pedophile? It could be a sexual phrase. I used to have so many of those. And then that causes a lot of discomfort, whether that's anxiety, panic, guilt, shame. And the person feels compelled to perform the compulsion, the physical or mental act that the person is performing to neutralize the obsession, to prevent that bad thing from happening, to solve the obsession, to alleviate the discomfort. And that just reinforces the obsession and you're stuck in that.

Yeah. So that's great. So I guess when I was thinking about it is like the compulsivity is what you're observing, but that might not even be reflective of the obsession.

They might not be connected, you're saying.

Right, well, just like, yeah. If you were observing someone from the outside and you noticed that they had some of these compulsivities, it's not so intuitive. It's like how they're choosing to regulate and address and fix and nullify. The obsession isn't so direct. It can be, but also it might not be.

Right. Some people with sexual obsessions will wash, let's say, their vagina or penis after having an unwanted thought, because they think that that's the thing that neutralizes it. To the outsider, it would be like, why are you washing that during the middle of your work day? 18 times?

You didn't even think they were a germaphobe.

There we go. So you can't always. Or it could be if I don't tap this wood, then I'm going to snap in my sleep and kill my child. Right. And people wouldn't think that the tapping of the wood has something to do with that. And you also don't always see people's compulsions. Mine are all mental. Nobody would have ever known that I was performing compulsions, because they all happened in the mind.

Right.

Did you know? So when I said, I have interest, totally. I do. And at this point, I do think they go away. But I did have a period of time after a major family incident where I was having intrusive thoughts, could not stop. And the thought was, what if I kill myself because there was a suicide incident and I thought this was PTSD for a while, but maybe it wasn't because it would just be like, flashes of what if I've done that, but not will I do it. It's just if I looked down and it had happened, sort of, it was. And it was constant and it was debilitating.

Absolutely.

But I don't think I had any compulsions to neutralize it that I know of.

Okay. Were you ruminating? Were you analyzing, boom. Compulsion? Right. So if you're trying to figure the obsession out in your mind, like, would I do that?

Congratulations.

Thank you.

I did it. We all three. And I didn't know when I was struggling that I was doing mental compulsions. I thought it was all obsessions, but I was trying to solve it in my head, trying to get rid of the thought, even if you're trying to suppress it and push it away. Mental compulsion. But it's tough because there are also intrusive thoughts with PTSD. So I see why your brain went there.

Maybe it is that. I don't know.

And intrusive thoughts with PTSD tend to be more so about the trauma that occurred, and the person might be avoiding things. Cause they don't wanna relive that trauma where OCD is more. This irrational fear that is popping up.

Seems like a weird combo. Maybe.

I was gonna say, I see both in yours. Not that I'm diagnosing you.

No, no, you're allowed to. By the way, we're happy to take any.

I mean, your license is your issue, not ours. So feel free to let the diagnoses fly.

I feel like I wanna know more.

Stay tuned for more. Armchair expert, if you dare. Okay, so another really relevant part of all this, and you said it a second ago, but I think it's worth really drilling into. And maybe we could start. There's five, but pedophile obsession seems the best place to start to illustrate the difference between an OCD or a pedophile OCD person has versus a pedophile. You just dropped it quickly. But there's a great term. Ego dystonic versus ego syntonic. Okay, so give us a picture of what someone struggling with pedophile obsession is going through and how much it doesn't align.

There are a couple of moving parts to this. The first is the ego dystonic nature of OCD. And what that means is the obsessions are opposite to the person's values, desires, self concept, what they know about themselves. So they're having all of these unwanted thoughts that don't line up with who they are. Could be, what if I'm a pedophile? It could be, what if I snap and sexually molest a child? What if I molested a kid in the past and I just forgot? So there's kind of different variations of it, and it is the farthest thing from a pedophile. People with POCD commonly avoid kids because they want to make absolutely sure that nothing bad happens to the kid. Or new moms who have this will lock themselves in their bedroom and make their partner take care of the kid because they want their kid to be safe. People with POCD often don't want to see kids because they don't want to have the thoughts. That differs greatly from a pedophile, who does align with the arousal, the desire, the attraction to prepubescent. Children, even if they don't act on it.

Well, I was gonna say, even they don't act on it, they're masturbating to it.

Often masturbating to it. Or they still know I am attracted to children. And that's not the person with OCD. The person is doubting what they know when they have OCD. It's, what if I'm a pedophile, even though I know that I'm not. And it's wild because it's like, but don't you just know that you're not? But when you have OCD, it is not that simple. I knew I wasn't. But when you're being bombarded with a thousand million intrusive thoughts a day, get, like, naked images of children pop into my mind, and then you feel something because you're having a sexual thought. It's not as simple as, don't you just know that you're not? It's a doubting disorder, and your brain is not firing in the way that someone's brain without OCD is, like, this.

Abstract fear based in nothing, based in literally nothing.

But then I'm sitting there all day long like, am I a pedophile? Even though I know I'm not. Seems like the biggest waste of your time, but I just couldn't get it out of my mind.

Yeah, and you would. Although this could be part of the compulsion. I was gonna say you would never go search for images like a pedophile would. But also, I could see a part of the compulsion. I actually need to look at those to prove to myself I don't like it.

I'm so glad that you said that. And there was actually a battle in one of my videos in the comment section the other day, so most people with POCD don't. That is a huge fear of theirs, even so much so that when they're watching porn, if the word teen is in, I'll have clients come in and say, oh, my God, am I a pedophile? Because I watched one that said teen, and it's like, they're over 18. I mean, I would hope I will say that there are definitely some people who have looked at it to prove to themselves that they are nothing, and that is a whole different beast, because then they feel so much shame that they've done it and they're not pedophiles. But you are so deep in it, you are struggling immensely. And you think by looking at this thing, I'm going to finally have the answer. I'm going to know that I'm not. Now, what probably happens is you feel something down there, because when we have sexual thoughts, even if we don't align with them, we tend to feel something.

I would even argue like that is the perversive nature of suppression almost. There's something really interesting about suppression and fear that it's all together.

Oh, for sure. There are people with OCD who, unfortunately, have looked at that compulsively. That does not mean that they are a pedophile. They don't align with it even if they're having a groinal response. Again, trigger warning, rape. People who have been assaulted, they might orgasm because the body responds. So even feeling something when you have a sexual thought doesn't mean you desire it or align with it.

Yeah. Or whatever. Want to experience that in your real life?

Oh, God. Yeah. Yeah.

So, yeah, we went through some of them, but I wrote down some that I think are interesting. Well, also, could you explain to us the difference between these two very common things? There's the what if, and then there's the command obsession. So there's, like, two different. Thank you for addressing columns of this.

I think that some people think that to have an obsession, it has to start with what if. Or to have an intrusive thought, it has to start with what if. Like, what if I'm a pedophile? People also get intrusive thoughts, like, you are a pedophile, or people with harm obsessions might get intrusive thoughts like kill them or rape them, where you feel like it's your brain telling you to do something or that you want to do something that you absolutely don't. It's still an intrusive thought, and it doesn't mean that you're any more likely to act on it. And I think those scare people more, because it's like, if my brain is telling me, you are a pedophile, then I really must be.

Yeah, your brain's telling you all the things, right? How do you know what's real and what's not real?

Right. So it might not show up as neatly as, what if I'm a pedophile? It might be you are a pedophile or. Or sexual images of children or sexual phrases, or even, like, noises in people's minds. Very graphic. It's not a fun time.

Okay. And now, at the risk of perpetuating another stereotype, I can't help but resist the overlap between that and the call of the void, which is something I think people are very familiar with. And I'm wondering how you think about that. So a lot of people experience standing on a skyscraper, and the voice is telling them, jump off the building. Jump off the building. Jump off. Now I get that a ton. I can almost not stand on a tall building because my brain screaming, jump. I wonder if that could help people understand this, because although that's probably not OCD, and if you're only on top of a skyscraper and it's happening, not a disorder, but if you've experienced that, perhaps that's a way you can kind of understand that.

I'm so glad you described that, because when you said the call of the void, I had no idea we were talking about.

Oh, okay.

I was like, oh, my God, this is gonna be the one question I can't answer. Okay.

They call that the call of the.

Void have new language. That's wonderful. So that is exactly it for people with OCD. And I don't necessarily like that. We describe OCD or obsession sometimes as urges, because I think that implies that a person desires it. When we hear, I have the urge to go to in, n out, or I have the urge to have sex with x, y, and z, we think of that as, you really want to do it. For the person with OCD, it's more of a really strong feeling internally that's paired with a scary thought, and they don't want to do it. When you're standing on a tall building, you might feel this internal pull, but it's not an urge per se, because you're not wanting to jump off the building. For the person with harm OCD who's holding a knife, and they gotta pray every morning.I'm like, oh, we gotta do that meditation, I think. Don't you feel like it's gotten better since you've been meditating?Well, unfortunately, it's just so far away from when I meditated in the day, it's like the end of the day. I'm sorry. I'm obsessed, and I'm not gonna get a perfect night's sleep. All the things that are gonna fall apart. Cause I don't get the good night. And then all of a sudden, it all gets hung on this bladder.Of course.Yeah, all roads lead to my bladder, I guess.So. Moment awareness, the more you strengthen that, for me anyway, helps with some of this where I can be like, whatever I feel. I might have to pee, but I'm not going.I'm gonna come back to the present moment.Yeah.Mindfulness was huge in my own recovery. It helped me so much.Well, earmark that. Cause I want you to walk us through the kind of course of action, but in effort to destigmatize this stuff and let people know that what they're dealing with is common and has a solution. I think we should go through a few more of the taboo. And you point out at the beginning of this piece I read that the stakes seem incredibly high, and they are in that the fear of, I'm gonna go talk to somebody and tell them I'm thinking about killing my baby. You're immediately thinking you're gonna have the police called on you.Yeah. That's why I didn't want to seek help. I knew I was having these sexual thoughts about kids, but I wasn't gonna go tell a stranger that and then risk them saying, you're a pedophile. I'm calling the police. And unfortunately, it does happen where doctors and clinicians who don't understand OCD treat someone with suicidal obsessions as if they actually are suicidal, violent obsessions as if they are homicidal. It does happen.Right. So you're saying one feared outcome would be getting the police called on you, but then another one would be a 5150.That's happened for people who have suicidal obsessions, and they're not suicidal, their brain is going kind of like you were talking about, what if I kill myself? Even though they don't want to, my.Heart and compassion goes out to the doctor sitting on the other side of that. They're like, oh, my God, if I don't do so, I mean, that's a very hard call to make decision on the other end. I'd rather be wrong in there alive. I'm sympathetic to.Of course.Yeah.And that's why this is so important, because more doctors need awareness about OCD. And what's ego dystonic versus ego syntonic?Right. So if someone who has suicidal ideations also is thinking, and the world would be better off without me, my family would be better off without me, like, things would be better. Like this is in accord with my principles. Would that symbolize the difference?Yeah. For instance, people with suicidal obsessions, they are hiding their knives. They are throwing away sharp objects. They are people. They're like, hey, um, I just thought of this. Been there, done that. And they're like, no, no. Okay. I gotta tell you the one really quick, though. Cause I was on a USO tour, and this is a little bit mean, but bear with me. Oh, no. And when you're on a USO tour, we were in Afghanistan, and every time you stop somewhere, they ask you to sign stuff. Like, you ended up signing so many tanks and, like, maybe the inside of helicopters. You sign a lot of stuff. Again, I don't have a catchphrase. I don't know what to say.You could say you've been punked.You know, I think I wrote that a couple times, but then it was like, they didn't get punk. They're there fighting. It was challenging. Okay, so what I found out was that Larry the cable guy was going to be there in two weeks on the next us. And once I found that out, everything I signed, I wrote get her done. Dax shepherd. Because I was like, of course he's gonna have to sign this stuff. And that's his catchphrase, and he's gonna be like, what the fuck? He can't write get her done. That's what I was gonna write. And then he had to think of something. Maybe he wrote, you just got punked.Maybe.I'd sure like to know if he did ever come across that signature. Feel like he had to have.Yeah.Because everything I was signing had been signed. You know, there was about 20 other signatures from other people.Why didn't you just sign your name?Well. Cause you gotta write something. You can't.Sometimes I think that's the pitfall. Like, just. Just sign your name. Put a heart. Well, I do that smiley face.Here's the extra problem that compounds all this. My signature, my quote, autograph is illegible. You've seen it. It doesn't mean anything. So I often in those situations when it's like on a USO tour, I sign it, and then. Then I have to write Dax because I'm like, this means nothing. But. And then maybe with a catchphrase or some kind words, I don't know.Sure.But I wrote get her done everywhere I went.Yeah. That is mean.Or funny. Is it funny, though, too?Yeah.When you think of Larry the cable guy reading his catchphrase, like, if I knew Michael Buffer was coming the week after, and I wrote let's get ready to rumble every time, you'd owe him so much money. I wonder how they even. God, what are the rules? Like? I can understand not going on television and saying it at a fight, but can no one in the world say, let's get ready to rumble now?I'm worried we might.No, this is news. We're covering it. We're now a new show.We're allowed to say it on the news.Yeah, you can say anything on the news. You can sing happy birthday.You can.I don't know. What I do know is if you have a documentary, any music you'd have in a movie, you have to get licensing for from the artists or whatever the publisher. But if you're making a documentary and you're walking through the streets of New York and beat it is playing on a loudspeaker. You're allowed to have that in there.Really?It's not called eminent domain, but it's one of those words like that, like, where it's just. It's. It's unavoidable. You didn't put it there. I don't know.Well, this is a doc, so it's fine.Yeah, this is currently a doc.And the news.It's a documentary about the news. Let's get ready to rumble.Stop saying it. I'm worried.And get her done.Oh, my God.Do you want to put any out there?No. I'm going to be karmically well, and I'm just going to say, ding, ding, ding.Those are the reverse back.Reverse back? Yeah. I got one today.Oh, you did?Mm hmm.Oh, what could feel better?Yeah, it's been tough figuring out her order lately, so I was pleased she's.Getting spicy for the summer.Yeah. I feel bad. Cause I did publicly say, I think she hates summer. I'm taking that back.Oh, did you say that on synced?I thought I said it here. Maybe I said it on synced.Maybe you said it on our text chain. You definitely said it on our text chain.Oh, well, I said it again. Oh, man, I'm getting caught that I said things twice.You're never allowed to say anything twice. And if you do, you have to copyright it.But I take it back. But for a while, she was feeling real feisty at the beginning of the summer. And I don't blame her. It's hot. Like, it's hot out. And people get crabby and testy, including me. I've decided that I want to go somewhere for a couple days.You gotta get out of there.I gotta get out because my apartment is so hot, and then outside is so hot. There's nowhere to go. Except my bedroom is kind of. If I keep the door closed and the fan on, it's okay. But then I'm just in my room. Like I'm depressed in there.Well, I don't wanna be critical of your apartment or your apartment building or the management of it. But it is curious that they mounted one air conditioner in your whole apartment. And they put it in the kitchen where no one sits to watch tv and no one sleeps. It's an interesting spot for it.Yeah.Have you considered moving your bed into the kitchen? Think about it.That's a good thought. No, I just gotta go. I gotta leave. I gotta get out of here.Traditionally, this is when I would spend a lot of time at the movie theater. Like when I lived in Santa Monica with no air conditioning. Come September, when I get blazing, I'd see a couple movies a day just to beat the heat.Yeah.Not gonna do it.I'm not in the mood for movies right now.So you haven't found a pool since I last spoke to you, I'm guessing.No, I have not.Really?Yeah, I haven't.And you don't like my idea of checking into a hotel. Stay calm.I might. I might. I looked into going to a hotel. I won't say which one.Okay. Ice cold air conditioning.I assume they have gray air conditioning.Based on the brand of the hotel.I'm not gonna finish that sentence.Okay.But I assume they have great air conditioning. Cause it's a hotel, so. And I've never been to this hotel, so it might be a fun thing to do now. Oh, God.Wait. You wanna talk about it?I wanna talk about something.Yeah, let's talk. Let's talk about it.I think at this point, he needs addressing seconds.Yeah, so go ahead. So, should we sell the full story or.The full story?I think.Okay, full story is. You were joking. You were. You were making a joke.I made a bad joke check involving.One of our advertisers.And yes, to be clear, because people heard it, it's also gone now. So if you try to go back, you can't find it. But it was, to me, it was obviously, obviously a joke, but that wasn't so clear.Right. Well, there was a handful of people in the comments that said something about that. And then, so the advertiser saw that and so we got contacted. So we're like, okay, no problem, we'll take that out. That was a joke, but if doesn't sound like one, we'll take it out. And then, because you knew that those comments that we're now kind of defending and or evaluating whether or not we act, you decided are from when people are asking, but I'm not gonna say. I'm not gonna say that I wanna go to this hotel and where it is and how fun it is. And that sucks because I also know there's a big group that wants to know that and wants to see the outfits or know about them.Yeah.So it's just this bizarre valley. I think that one of the more hurtful ones was about. Well, there was some that I found misogynistic. Those were rough or, like, double standardy. Then there was some, basically, that I betrayed them, and I was like, hmm. I've never not been this, so. I haven't.You've been living at the mall since you were a kid?I've not been like, I'm a huge man of the people. I've never been that. Even when I worked at Soulcycle, I wasn't that. Like, that's not me. And so I haven't betrayed anyone. I've just attained a little more. So I've had a little more access, but I've stayed pretty true to my values, wants, needs, all of that stuff. And, like, that's all I can really do.Well, this hotel with the ice cold air conditioning sounds like a fortune.Shut up. God, you're trying to take me out.Never.Is that Groot?Yeah. Yeah, I'm with Groot. Of course I'm with Groot. I sleep with grass.Because you're his granddad.Yeah. I asked because she tossed him to me, and he landed perfectly in my nook. And I said, oh, he landed in my nook. And then I said, wait, is gruta he or she? She or they? And she said, groot's a groot. He doesn't. They. She goes, groots don't have genders like we do, okay?I mean, Groot is a tree. Really?Oh, by the way, you. We haven't figured out what kind of boy I am. Because you're a cookie boy. Amy Poehler is the bedtime boy, and.You'Re just a boy's boy.No, I'm a lake Boyden boy.Oh, sure, yeah, yeah.Finally figured it out. I'm a lake boy. Boy, do I love a lake. I get in there and just paddle around like a little dog. Like a little lake dog.Yeah. Okay, wait, hold on. I have a little more to say about the other thing, which is. So this hotel. Yeah, I want to go to. I want to go just for a couple days, and I'm going to have to probably go by myself.Okay.It's a very complicated thing to talk about, but.But you just.It's universal. I mean, not universal, but it affects a lot of people on both sides of this. But, like, I want to go with a couple people that I know could go.Right, but you don't have to pay for them.Exactly. And it wouldn't even be responsible to ask them.Yeah, right. You'd have to offer to pay for them to go.Yeah. And it circles back to all the things we've always talked about on here, which is like, what's the point of going to this nice place if you're.Alone, although you're reading all fours? So I feel like if there were ever a moment where you could be alone, felt like you had a reason to go alone.It's also an interesting thought for me because I love going places alone. I travel alone all the time.Yeah. You go to New York.I love it. But for some reason, in this particular circumstance, I don't know why. Maybe it's just my current headspace where I'm like, oh, oh, I want buddies there. Like, I want my friend. I wanna bring friends.Right.But that would mean that I would be paying double for something that's already a lot. And what is this? Like, it's just all confused. I'm confused.Yeah. Yeah. And you know how I did it for years and years and years, which is just. I paid for people to go everywhere, and then some of those people ended up really resenting me for that, which I couldn't really make peace with. I'm like, why? Why are you resentful towards me?Yeah, it's really complicated.Yeah. Then meets the eye.Yeah.Basically, there's some people that I can do that with, and there's no resentment, and there's other people that, they resent me when I do that, which. So it's very confusing.Yeah. But then this is how weird silos happen. And then it's like, then only rich people can travel with rich people. Like, that's awful. Yeah, I don't want that at all. I enjoy the people in my life, and there's varying degrees of financial success within that. I don't want to change any of the people around me. So that's for me to then decide. Like, do I pay? Do I go alone? I don't know.Yeah, I don't have a very clear answer.Yeah, I don't think there is one. And maybe it just depends on the day.Yeah, it totally depends on the day. I really think it's person specific. You know, I have a very successful friend who's much older than me who said to me at one point, they had had a bad experience with some family members they supported, and then those people really mad at them, and they were talking to their therapist. The therapist said, the key is that relationships have to be respected, reciprocal. So if it can't be financial, it's almost on the person who's got the money to figure out how the other person can reciprocate by some other method. Or that's when it starts getting really fucked up. And I thought that was really interesting. I heard that a few years ago, and I think, I feel like I.Observe that there's also resentment that comes up from the other side.Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, I have friends all the time who will be like, yeah, I lent so and so money. They were broke. But then I saw they bought a new car. You know, those little things that happen. And then I'm like, yeah, you can't ever lend anyone money. You just have to give. Give someone money. Literally think, yeah, they might go buy a fucking four wheeler with it. I don't know. Zachary.Yes, a hundred percent. That's really a good lesson. And no string that's attached.Yep. Yeah, basically. Yeah. Yes. I also think the unavoidable thing is, is you do end up having more control than is healthy a relationship. Because basically you're picking, right? Like, if you're gonna invite people to where you want to go, you've just. You have picked.Yeah.And even that's a weird dynamic. I know, because what if you said, like, hey, whoever, do you want to come with me to x? And they go, no, but why don't you take us to Santa Barbara, this other hotel? That would feel a little crazy. But at the same time, if it's a friend trip, maybe that's part of it. I don't fucking know.Like, all of this is not good. I don't know.No, it's not good. It comes back to now how, what I also, I gotta add right now is I think this too. If you chose to see this, you could choose to see this conversation as two rich people talking about like, oh, God, what do they do? This happens on every ladder of the socio economic. Because my bro, I remember my brother was, started making more money than all of us. And he even said to me, this is why people of the same socioeconomic bracket hang out. Because. And I. And I was like, bullshit. I would. I didn't think there's any validity to it, but this whole idea in the book that, you know, basically you're climbing and you're climbing, and then basically you're levitating for a minute, and then from then on, you're falling.Yeah. Yeah. That's the battle I'm in right now.It's tough. I mean, this idea that, like, oh, from this point forward, and I'm just, like, inching towards the end is scary, but it's all perspective. Like, that wasn't my ultimate takeaway. By the end, I think it has a more optimistic ending. I would really recommend it, and I want men to read it.I will. I'll do it. I saw some photos of myself on this trip where I was like, oh, boy, are we losing our hair? Like, really quick? Is that what's going on today? I'm telling you, really? I don't know if it's lighting or whatever. I'm like, whoa, are we. We're much thinner than I thought we were. And I was online today getting a topical finasteride.Oh, nice.Yeah, yeah. Like, panicked. I'm like, jesus Christ, here we go. I'm gonna look just like my dad. Gonna have a big dome. Yeah. No, I was looking at myself in the mirror, like, imagining myself. Cause at the rate, you know, you know, when you panic in my mind, the rate at which it's falling out, probably by August, I'm gonna look like my dad, but I'm gonna fight it. I'm gonna get every topical known to man, and I ordered several of them today.Yeah, yeah, it's.I know. Yeah. It's not gonna get better for me. It's not gonna get better.Well, no, no, no, no. That's not true.No, hold on. My life may get better, but physically, I'm not gonna be getting better.It's how we define better.Yeah, Balder, I guess Balder's better. You get more vitamin D through the sun exposure.Oh, yeah. Okay, real quick. So some facts, not very many. This is for Allegra.Now. I got it. Just always to keep ourselves honest. This was definitely a good thing that came out of the comments. This is one. We got to give the check in the pros for this one.Okay. I loved this episode. I learned so much. I have so much compassion for people who suffer with this.Absolutely. Oh, man.Oh, man.All consuming, it sounds.Yeah. Okay. The difference between a cortado and a cappuccino.Oh, okay. That came up.Yep. It's the amount of milk. So a cortado consists of equal parts espresso and steamed milk, ensuring a balanced flavor. A latte has one to three ratio of coffee to milk, making it a milkier option. Finally, a cappuccino features equal parts of espresso, steamed milk, and frothy milk foam, delivering a thicker and foamier texture compared to the other two.Well, perfect timing. Ding, ding, ding. I don't ever drink cappuccinos. And I've had probably 65 since I got.Oh, I love cappuccino. That's my go to.It's so fucking good because coffee is so bad everywhere. That's not unique to Norway. Like, so few people are into coffee the way Americans are.Right?Black coffee, Americano. Like, if you get an American, you know it's an Americano. It's not. So you gotta go cappuccino when you're overseas. And, man, have I been putting them back.Why don't you try cortado next time, see if you like it.Yeah, I'll see if that rings a bell. Next place I'm ordering one, they'll know it. What we found out, what we found out, at least at the last place is we kept ordering double cappuccinos. Cause Eric and I want two shot. We want an extra shot in there. And they said, that's a flat white. We would never call it a double cappuccino. So now we've been ordering flat whites and boy, boy George. Are those good?Yeah, flat whites are good. Okay. There's a chart about all of them, which is fun. You can buy the chart on etsy.Okay.A breve, which you know about. Oh, brevi latte, average espresso added with steamed half and half to create.Yeah. When I first met Will Arnett, he introduced me to the breve on let's go to prison. And we were blasting those brevies until we realized they're like 9000 calories was a cannonball that had been shot at this church, and they left it in the wall.Okay.So you could go look. It's still lodged in the wall. So we're driving in the car to the next place, and we're in the car for hours, and I don't know where delta just goes, hey, mom, you know how they chose to leave that cannonball in the wall, and over time, it became an artifact? I think the next time you tell me to pick up my clothes, I'm just gonna leave them in hopes that they'll become an artifact.That's cute.That's funny. What a wonderful train of thought that was.Yeah. I love that she's so smart.She is. Lincoln's so adventurous. She's been jumping off everything and scaring me. I looked up. We were playing spades and drinking coffee on this patio of the hotel. And I look up, and I see Lincoln, who certainly doesn't think I can see her. They're on the fifth floor, and she has gone out on the railing of the balcony and has gone around the outside of. Of the post holding it up. Something I definitely did a million times. When I was a kid, and I was just watching this from 100 yards away, and she's on the fifth floor, and I'm like, yeah. Oh.Oh, scary, my child. Yeah, that's your fault.Yeah, it is totally my fault.Okay, now chai means tea in Hindi.I know, I know, I know.Okay, did you.Cause I did. I did. I did.I just.Because we say chai tea, which is redundant. And when we posted the bill Gates thing, people were like, chai is tea. I'm like, I know, but. But people still say chai tea, where I'm posting this, I guess, and chai tastes so specific. It's different than green tea and. And herbamante tea.I just like. Of course we changed it.We had to. We had no choice.We did.Not too many offerings at all. Back when there was only one flavor of tea. You could just say chai.Well, we could have made the other teas. We could have made them green chai, you know?Yeah, that's fair.Yeah.Okay.Okay. We were coming up with other people named Allegra, and you said allegra busses, but it's actually Allegra. Allegro bus.A couple days after I had said that, I was looking at Instagram, and I follow a guy who has an allegro bus, and he had posted a picture of it, and I was like, mm. That was wrong. It's Allegro.Yeah.I'm glad you looked that up. Lest anyone has searched the Internet trying to buy an Allegro bus.Allegro. That's it. There really weren't much facts.Chai is tea.Chai is tea.Quartado is not cappuccino.Mm hmm. Cappuccino has faux milk and steamed milk.Don't drink venti brevi lattes.No. Do it if you want. I'm not telling people what to do.You're not gonna be on a campaign against brevy lattes.Mm mm. I bet a cream top is a.Breve of sorts, but with ice cream batter. That's a birthday drink. Birthday cake drink. Armor. Armor. Well, I hope you go. Listen, don't listen to these haters. I hope you go find yourself an ice cold, air conditioned room and a nice pool to swim around in.Thank.Oh, yeah. One of that episode is when we were talking about Hermes. So that's what threw people over the edge, right?Yeah.Also, ironically, that was a Tuesday that this was happening.Yeah.Based on the Monday episode, Wednesday was an episode of synced, and we, of course, had talked about it also on synced.Oh, okay.So Tuesday night, when all this was happening, I was like, fuck.Like this.There's an episode tomorrow about. With more Hermes chit chatter.Yeah.I was like, I'm gonna pull the episode. Oh, I really almost did. Because I was like, I can't. I can't handle what's about to come.Yeah.And then I thought, no, we have advertisers on that episode that it will fuck over. Like, I'm just gonna have to deal with this. And then I did. But you said the pool. One of the comments was. Cause I was talking about the towels. And she was like, she doesn't even know how to swim.I got real personal.Yeah. Oh, it got so personal. It got so personal. One is she was probably tipsy.Oh, wow.Yeah. Like, mean shit.Mean.Try to be nice. Just gonna leave it there. Try to be nice in this world if you can.Give it a shot. Give it a shot.Try it out.Give it a shot. See how it feels. All right, well, I love you. I can't wait for our next check in. These are so it. Bye.

gotta pray every morning.

I'm like, oh, we gotta do that meditation, I think. Don't you feel like it's gotten better since you've been meditating?

Well, unfortunately, it's just so far away from when I meditated in the day, it's like the end of the day. I'm sorry. I'm obsessed, and I'm not gonna get a perfect night's sleep. All the things that are gonna fall apart. Cause I don't get the good night. And then all of a sudden, it all gets hung on this bladder.

Of course.

Yeah, all roads lead to my bladder, I guess.

So. Moment awareness, the more you strengthen that, for me anyway, helps with some of this where I can be like, whatever I feel. I might have to pee, but I'm not going.

I'm gonna come back to the present moment.

Yeah.

Mindfulness was huge in my own recovery. It helped me so much.

Well, earmark that. Cause I want you to walk us through the kind of course of action, but in effort to destigmatize this stuff and let people know that what they're dealing with is common and has a solution. I think we should go through a few more of the taboo. And you point out at the beginning of this piece I read that the stakes seem incredibly high, and they are in that the fear of, I'm gonna go talk to somebody and tell them I'm thinking about killing my baby. You're immediately thinking you're gonna have the police called on you.

Yeah. That's why I didn't want to seek help. I knew I was having these sexual thoughts about kids, but I wasn't gonna go tell a stranger that and then risk them saying, you're a pedophile. I'm calling the police. And unfortunately, it does happen where doctors and clinicians who don't understand OCD treat someone with suicidal obsessions as if they actually are suicidal, violent obsessions as if they are homicidal. It does happen.

Right. So you're saying one feared outcome would be getting the police called on you, but then another one would be a 5150.

That's happened for people who have suicidal obsessions, and they're not suicidal, their brain is going kind of like you were talking about, what if I kill myself? Even though they don't want to, my.

Heart and compassion goes out to the doctor sitting on the other side of that. They're like, oh, my God, if I don't do so, I mean, that's a very hard call to make decision on the other end. I'd rather be wrong in there alive. I'm sympathetic to.

Of course.

Yeah.

And that's why this is so important, because more doctors need awareness about OCD. And what's ego dystonic versus ego syntonic?

Right. So if someone who has suicidal ideations also is thinking, and the world would be better off without me, my family would be better off without me, like, things would be better. Like this is in accord with my principles. Would that symbolize the difference?

Yeah. For instance, people with suicidal obsessions, they are hiding their knives. They are throwing away sharp objects. They are people. They're like, hey, um, I just thought of this. Been there, done that. And they're like, no, no. Okay. I gotta tell you the one really quick, though. Cause I was on a USO tour, and this is a little bit mean, but bear with me. Oh, no. And when you're on a USO tour, we were in Afghanistan, and every time you stop somewhere, they ask you to sign stuff. Like, you ended up signing so many tanks and, like, maybe the inside of helicopters. You sign a lot of stuff. Again, I don't have a catchphrase. I don't know what to say.You could say you've been punked.You know, I think I wrote that a couple times, but then it was like, they didn't get punk. They're there fighting. It was challenging. Okay, so what I found out was that Larry the cable guy was going to be there in two weeks on the next us. And once I found that out, everything I signed, I wrote get her done. Dax shepherd. Because I was like, of course he's gonna have to sign this stuff. And that's his catchphrase, and he's gonna be like, what the fuck? He can't write get her done. That's what I was gonna write. And then he had to think of something. Maybe he wrote, you just got punked.Maybe.I'd sure like to know if he did ever come across that signature. Feel like he had to have.Yeah.Because everything I was signing had been signed. You know, there was about 20 other signatures from other people.Why didn't you just sign your name?Well. Cause you gotta write something. You can't.Sometimes I think that's the pitfall. Like, just. Just sign your name. Put a heart. Well, I do that smiley face.Here's the extra problem that compounds all this. My signature, my quote, autograph is illegible. You've seen it. It doesn't mean anything. So I often in those situations when it's like on a USO tour, I sign it, and then. Then I have to write Dax because I'm like, this means nothing. But. And then maybe with a catchphrase or some kind words, I don't know.Sure.But I wrote get her done everywhere I went.Yeah. That is mean.Or funny. Is it funny, though, too?Yeah.When you think of Larry the cable guy reading his catchphrase, like, if I knew Michael Buffer was coming the week after, and I wrote let's get ready to rumble every time, you'd owe him so much money. I wonder how they even. God, what are the rules? Like? I can understand not going on television and saying it at a fight, but can no one in the world say, let's get ready to rumble now?I'm worried we might.No, this is news. We're covering it. We're now a new show.We're allowed to say it on the news.Yeah, you can say anything on the news. You can sing happy birthday.You can.I don't know. What I do know is if you have a documentary, any music you'd have in a movie, you have to get licensing for from the artists or whatever the publisher. But if you're making a documentary and you're walking through the streets of New York and beat it is playing on a loudspeaker. You're allowed to have that in there.Really?It's not called eminent domain, but it's one of those words like that, like, where it's just. It's. It's unavoidable. You didn't put it there. I don't know.Well, this is a doc, so it's fine.Yeah, this is currently a doc.And the news.It's a documentary about the news. Let's get ready to rumble.Stop saying it. I'm worried.And get her done.Oh, my God.Do you want to put any out there?No. I'm going to be karmically well, and I'm just going to say, ding, ding, ding.Those are the reverse back.Reverse back? Yeah. I got one today.Oh, you did?Mm hmm.Oh, what could feel better?Yeah, it's been tough figuring out her order lately, so I was pleased she's.Getting spicy for the summer.Yeah. I feel bad. Cause I did publicly say, I think she hates summer. I'm taking that back.Oh, did you say that on synced?I thought I said it here. Maybe I said it on synced.Maybe you said it on our text chain. You definitely said it on our text chain.Oh, well, I said it again. Oh, man, I'm getting caught that I said things twice.You're never allowed to say anything twice. And if you do, you have to copyright it.But I take it back. But for a while, she was feeling real feisty at the beginning of the summer. And I don't blame her. It's hot. Like, it's hot out. And people get crabby and testy, including me. I've decided that I want to go somewhere for a couple days.You gotta get out of there.I gotta get out because my apartment is so hot, and then outside is so hot. There's nowhere to go. Except my bedroom is kind of. If I keep the door closed and the fan on, it's okay. But then I'm just in my room. Like I'm depressed in there.Well, I don't wanna be critical of your apartment or your apartment building or the management of it. But it is curious that they mounted one air conditioner in your whole apartment. And they put it in the kitchen where no one sits to watch tv and no one sleeps. It's an interesting spot for it.Yeah.Have you considered moving your bed into the kitchen? Think about it.That's a good thought. No, I just gotta go. I gotta leave. I gotta get out of here.Traditionally, this is when I would spend a lot of time at the movie theater. Like when I lived in Santa Monica with no air conditioning. Come September, when I get blazing, I'd see a couple movies a day just to beat the heat.Yeah.Not gonna do it.I'm not in the mood for movies right now.So you haven't found a pool since I last spoke to you, I'm guessing.No, I have not.Really?Yeah, I haven't.And you don't like my idea of checking into a hotel. Stay calm.I might. I might. I looked into going to a hotel. I won't say which one.Okay. Ice cold air conditioning.I assume they have gray air conditioning.Based on the brand of the hotel.I'm not gonna finish that sentence.Okay.But I assume they have great air conditioning. Cause it's a hotel, so. And I've never been to this hotel, so it might be a fun thing to do now. Oh, God.Wait. You wanna talk about it?I wanna talk about something.Yeah, let's talk. Let's talk about it.I think at this point, he needs addressing seconds.Yeah, so go ahead. So, should we sell the full story or.The full story?I think.Okay, full story is. You were joking. You were. You were making a joke.I made a bad joke check involving.One of our advertisers.And yes, to be clear, because people heard it, it's also gone now. So if you try to go back, you can't find it. But it was, to me, it was obviously, obviously a joke, but that wasn't so clear.Right. Well, there was a handful of people in the comments that said something about that. And then, so the advertiser saw that and so we got contacted. So we're like, okay, no problem, we'll take that out. That was a joke, but if doesn't sound like one, we'll take it out. And then, because you knew that those comments that we're now kind of defending and or evaluating whether or not we act, you decided are from when people are asking, but I'm not gonna say. I'm not gonna say that I wanna go to this hotel and where it is and how fun it is. And that sucks because I also know there's a big group that wants to know that and wants to see the outfits or know about them.Yeah.So it's just this bizarre valley. I think that one of the more hurtful ones was about. Well, there was some that I found misogynistic. Those were rough or, like, double standardy. Then there was some, basically, that I betrayed them, and I was like, hmm. I've never not been this, so. I haven't.You've been living at the mall since you were a kid?I've not been like, I'm a huge man of the people. I've never been that. Even when I worked at Soulcycle, I wasn't that. Like, that's not me. And so I haven't betrayed anyone. I've just attained a little more. So I've had a little more access, but I've stayed pretty true to my values, wants, needs, all of that stuff. And, like, that's all I can really do.Well, this hotel with the ice cold air conditioning sounds like a fortune.Shut up. God, you're trying to take me out.Never.Is that Groot?Yeah. Yeah, I'm with Groot. Of course I'm with Groot. I sleep with grass.Because you're his granddad.Yeah. I asked because she tossed him to me, and he landed perfectly in my nook. And I said, oh, he landed in my nook. And then I said, wait, is gruta he or she? She or they? And she said, groot's a groot. He doesn't. They. She goes, groots don't have genders like we do, okay?I mean, Groot is a tree. Really?Oh, by the way, you. We haven't figured out what kind of boy I am. Because you're a cookie boy. Amy Poehler is the bedtime boy, and.You'Re just a boy's boy.No, I'm a lake Boyden boy.Oh, sure, yeah, yeah.Finally figured it out. I'm a lake boy. Boy, do I love a lake. I get in there and just paddle around like a little dog. Like a little lake dog.Yeah. Okay, wait, hold on. I have a little more to say about the other thing, which is. So this hotel. Yeah, I want to go to. I want to go just for a couple days, and I'm going to have to probably go by myself.Okay.It's a very complicated thing to talk about, but.But you just.It's universal. I mean, not universal, but it affects a lot of people on both sides of this. But, like, I want to go with a couple people that I know could go.Right, but you don't have to pay for them.Exactly. And it wouldn't even be responsible to ask them.Yeah, right. You'd have to offer to pay for them to go.Yeah. And it circles back to all the things we've always talked about on here, which is like, what's the point of going to this nice place if you're.Alone, although you're reading all fours? So I feel like if there were ever a moment where you could be alone, felt like you had a reason to go alone.It's also an interesting thought for me because I love going places alone. I travel alone all the time.Yeah. You go to New York.I love it. But for some reason, in this particular circumstance, I don't know why. Maybe it's just my current headspace where I'm like, oh, oh, I want buddies there. Like, I want my friend. I wanna bring friends.Right.But that would mean that I would be paying double for something that's already a lot. And what is this? Like, it's just all confused. I'm confused.Yeah. Yeah. And you know how I did it for years and years and years, which is just. I paid for people to go everywhere, and then some of those people ended up really resenting me for that, which I couldn't really make peace with. I'm like, why? Why are you resentful towards me?Yeah, it's really complicated.Yeah. Then meets the eye.Yeah.Basically, there's some people that I can do that with, and there's no resentment, and there's other people that, they resent me when I do that, which. So it's very confusing.Yeah. But then this is how weird silos happen. And then it's like, then only rich people can travel with rich people. Like, that's awful. Yeah, I don't want that at all. I enjoy the people in my life, and there's varying degrees of financial success within that. I don't want to change any of the people around me. So that's for me to then decide. Like, do I pay? Do I go alone? I don't know.Yeah, I don't have a very clear answer.Yeah, I don't think there is one. And maybe it just depends on the day.Yeah, it totally depends on the day. I really think it's person specific. You know, I have a very successful friend who's much older than me who said to me at one point, they had had a bad experience with some family members they supported, and then those people really mad at them, and they were talking to their therapist. The therapist said, the key is that relationships have to be respected, reciprocal. So if it can't be financial, it's almost on the person who's got the money to figure out how the other person can reciprocate by some other method. Or that's when it starts getting really fucked up. And I thought that was really interesting. I heard that a few years ago, and I think, I feel like I.Observe that there's also resentment that comes up from the other side.Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, I have friends all the time who will be like, yeah, I lent so and so money. They were broke. But then I saw they bought a new car. You know, those little things that happen. And then I'm like, yeah, you can't ever lend anyone money. You just have to give. Give someone money. Literally think, yeah, they might go buy a fucking four wheeler with it. I don't know. Zachary.Yes, a hundred percent. That's really a good lesson. And no string that's attached.Yep. Yeah, basically. Yeah. Yes. I also think the unavoidable thing is, is you do end up having more control than is healthy a relationship. Because basically you're picking, right? Like, if you're gonna invite people to where you want to go, you've just. You have picked.Yeah.And even that's a weird dynamic. I know, because what if you said, like, hey, whoever, do you want to come with me to x? And they go, no, but why don't you take us to Santa Barbara, this other hotel? That would feel a little crazy. But at the same time, if it's a friend trip, maybe that's part of it. I don't fucking know.Like, all of this is not good. I don't know.No, it's not good. It comes back to now how, what I also, I gotta add right now is I think this too. If you chose to see this, you could choose to see this conversation as two rich people talking about like, oh, God, what do they do? This happens on every ladder of the socio economic. Because my bro, I remember my brother was, started making more money than all of us. And he even said to me, this is why people of the same socioeconomic bracket hang out. Because. And I. And I was like, bullshit. I would. I didn't think there's any validity to it, but this whole idea in the book that, you know, basically you're climbing and you're climbing, and then basically you're levitating for a minute, and then from then on, you're falling.Yeah. Yeah. That's the battle I'm in right now.It's tough. I mean, this idea that, like, oh, from this point forward, and I'm just, like, inching towards the end is scary, but it's all perspective. Like, that wasn't my ultimate takeaway. By the end, I think it has a more optimistic ending. I would really recommend it, and I want men to read it.I will. I'll do it. I saw some photos of myself on this trip where I was like, oh, boy, are we losing our hair? Like, really quick? Is that what's going on today? I'm telling you, really? I don't know if it's lighting or whatever. I'm like, whoa, are we. We're much thinner than I thought we were. And I was online today getting a topical finasteride.Oh, nice.Yeah, yeah. Like, panicked. I'm like, jesus Christ, here we go. I'm gonna look just like my dad. Gonna have a big dome. Yeah. No, I was looking at myself in the mirror, like, imagining myself. Cause at the rate, you know, you know, when you panic in my mind, the rate at which it's falling out, probably by August, I'm gonna look like my dad, but I'm gonna fight it. I'm gonna get every topical known to man, and I ordered several of them today.Yeah, yeah, it's.I know. Yeah. It's not gonna get better for me. It's not gonna get better.Well, no, no, no, no. That's not true.No, hold on. My life may get better, but physically, I'm not gonna be getting better.It's how we define better.Yeah, Balder, I guess Balder's better. You get more vitamin D through the sun exposure.Oh, yeah. Okay, real quick. So some facts, not very many. This is for Allegra.Now. I got it. Just always to keep ourselves honest. This was definitely a good thing that came out of the comments. This is one. We got to give the check in the pros for this one.Okay. I loved this episode. I learned so much. I have so much compassion for people who suffer with this.Absolutely. Oh, man.Oh, man.All consuming, it sounds.Yeah. Okay. The difference between a cortado and a cappuccino.Oh, okay. That came up.Yep. It's the amount of milk. So a cortado consists of equal parts espresso and steamed milk, ensuring a balanced flavor. A latte has one to three ratio of coffee to milk, making it a milkier option. Finally, a cappuccino features equal parts of espresso, steamed milk, and frothy milk foam, delivering a thicker and foamier texture compared to the other two.Well, perfect timing. Ding, ding, ding. I don't ever drink cappuccinos. And I've had probably 65 since I got.Oh, I love cappuccino. That's my go to.It's so fucking good because coffee is so bad everywhere. That's not unique to Norway. Like, so few people are into coffee the way Americans are.Right?Black coffee, Americano. Like, if you get an American, you know it's an Americano. It's not. So you gotta go cappuccino when you're overseas. And, man, have I been putting them back.Why don't you try cortado next time, see if you like it.Yeah, I'll see if that rings a bell. Next place I'm ordering one, they'll know it. What we found out, what we found out, at least at the last place is we kept ordering double cappuccinos. Cause Eric and I want two shot. We want an extra shot in there. And they said, that's a flat white. We would never call it a double cappuccino. So now we've been ordering flat whites and boy, boy George. Are those good?Yeah, flat whites are good. Okay. There's a chart about all of them, which is fun. You can buy the chart on etsy.Okay.A breve, which you know about. Oh, brevi latte, average espresso added with steamed half and half to create.Yeah. When I first met Will Arnett, he introduced me to the breve on let's go to prison. And we were blasting those brevies until we realized they're like 9000 calories was a cannonball that had been shot at this church, and they left it in the wall.Okay.So you could go look. It's still lodged in the wall. So we're driving in the car to the next place, and we're in the car for hours, and I don't know where delta just goes, hey, mom, you know how they chose to leave that cannonball in the wall, and over time, it became an artifact? I think the next time you tell me to pick up my clothes, I'm just gonna leave them in hopes that they'll become an artifact.That's cute.That's funny. What a wonderful train of thought that was.Yeah. I love that she's so smart.She is. Lincoln's so adventurous. She's been jumping off everything and scaring me. I looked up. We were playing spades and drinking coffee on this patio of the hotel. And I look up, and I see Lincoln, who certainly doesn't think I can see her. They're on the fifth floor, and she has gone out on the railing of the balcony and has gone around the outside of. Of the post holding it up. Something I definitely did a million times. When I was a kid, and I was just watching this from 100 yards away, and she's on the fifth floor, and I'm like, yeah. Oh.Oh, scary, my child. Yeah, that's your fault.Yeah, it is totally my fault.Okay, now chai means tea in Hindi.I know, I know, I know.Okay, did you.Cause I did. I did. I did.I just.Because we say chai tea, which is redundant. And when we posted the bill Gates thing, people were like, chai is tea. I'm like, I know, but. But people still say chai tea, where I'm posting this, I guess, and chai tastes so specific. It's different than green tea and. And herbamante tea.I just like. Of course we changed it.We had to. We had no choice.We did.Not too many offerings at all. Back when there was only one flavor of tea. You could just say chai.Well, we could have made the other teas. We could have made them green chai, you know?Yeah, that's fair.Yeah.Okay.Okay. We were coming up with other people named Allegra, and you said allegra busses, but it's actually Allegra. Allegro bus.A couple days after I had said that, I was looking at Instagram, and I follow a guy who has an allegro bus, and he had posted a picture of it, and I was like, mm. That was wrong. It's Allegro.Yeah.I'm glad you looked that up. Lest anyone has searched the Internet trying to buy an Allegro bus.Allegro. That's it. There really weren't much facts.Chai is tea.Chai is tea.Quartado is not cappuccino.Mm hmm. Cappuccino has faux milk and steamed milk.Don't drink venti brevi lattes.No. Do it if you want. I'm not telling people what to do.You're not gonna be on a campaign against brevy lattes.Mm mm. I bet a cream top is a.Breve of sorts, but with ice cream batter. That's a birthday drink. Birthday cake drink. Armor. Armor. Well, I hope you go. Listen, don't listen to these haters. I hope you go find yourself an ice cold, air conditioned room and a nice pool to swim around in.Thank.Oh, yeah. One of that episode is when we were talking about Hermes. So that's what threw people over the edge, right?Yeah.Also, ironically, that was a Tuesday that this was happening.Yeah.Based on the Monday episode, Wednesday was an episode of synced, and we, of course, had talked about it also on synced.Oh, okay.So Tuesday night, when all this was happening, I was like, fuck.Like this.There's an episode tomorrow about. With more Hermes chit chatter.Yeah.I was like, I'm gonna pull the episode. Oh, I really almost did. Because I was like, I can't. I can't handle what's about to come.Yeah.And then I thought, no, we have advertisers on that episode that it will fuck over. Like, I'm just gonna have to deal with this. And then I did. But you said the pool. One of the comments was. Cause I was talking about the towels. And she was like, she doesn't even know how to swim.I got real personal.Yeah. Oh, it got so personal. It got so personal. One is she was probably tipsy.Oh, wow.Yeah. Like, mean shit.Mean.Try to be nice. Just gonna leave it there. Try to be nice in this world if you can.Give it a shot. Give it a shot.Try it out.Give it a shot. See how it feels. All right, well, I love you. I can't wait for our next check in. These are so it. Bye.

people. They're like, hey, um, I just thought of this. Been there, done that. And they're like, no, no. Okay. I gotta tell you the one really quick, though. Cause I was on a USO tour, and this is a little bit mean, but bear with me. Oh, no. And when you're on a USO tour, we were in Afghanistan, and every time you stop somewhere, they ask you to sign stuff. Like, you ended up signing so many tanks and, like, maybe the inside of helicopters. You sign a lot of stuff. Again, I don't have a catchphrase. I don't know what to say.

You could say you've been punked.

You know, I think I wrote that a couple times, but then it was like, they didn't get punk. They're there fighting. It was challenging. Okay, so what I found out was that Larry the cable guy was going to be there in two weeks on the next us. And once I found that out, everything I signed, I wrote get her done. Dax shepherd. Because I was like, of course he's gonna have to sign this stuff. And that's his catchphrase, and he's gonna be like, what the fuck? He can't write get her done. That's what I was gonna write. And then he had to think of something. Maybe he wrote, you just got punked.

Maybe.

I'd sure like to know if he did ever come across that signature. Feel like he had to have.

Yeah.

Because everything I was signing had been signed. You know, there was about 20 other signatures from other people.

Why didn't you just sign your name?

Well. Cause you gotta write something. You can't.

Sometimes I think that's the pitfall. Like, just. Just sign your name. Put a heart. Well, I do that smiley face.

Here's the extra problem that compounds all this. My signature, my quote, autograph is illegible. You've seen it. It doesn't mean anything. So I often in those situations when it's like on a USO tour, I sign it, and then. Then I have to write Dax because I'm like, this means nothing. But. And then maybe with a catchphrase or some kind words, I don't know.

Sure.

But I wrote get her done everywhere I went.

Yeah. That is mean.

Or funny. Is it funny, though, too?

Yeah.

When you think of Larry the cable guy reading his catchphrase, like, if I knew Michael Buffer was coming the week after, and I wrote let's get ready to rumble every time, you'd owe him so much money. I wonder how they even. God, what are the rules? Like? I can understand not going on television and saying it at a fight, but can no one in the world say, let's get ready to rumble now?

I'm worried we might.

No, this is news. We're covering it. We're now a new show.

We're allowed to say it on the news.

Yeah, you can say anything on the news. You can sing happy birthday.

You can.

I don't know. What I do know is if you have a documentary, any music you'd have in a movie, you have to get licensing for from the artists or whatever the publisher. But if you're making a documentary and you're walking through the streets of New York and beat it is playing on a loudspeaker. You're allowed to have that in there.

Really?

It's not called eminent domain, but it's one of those words like that, like, where it's just. It's. It's unavoidable. You didn't put it there. I don't know.

Well, this is a doc, so it's fine.

Yeah, this is currently a doc.

And the news.

It's a documentary about the news. Let's get ready to rumble.

Stop saying it. I'm worried.

And get her done.

Oh, my God.

Do you want to put any out there?

No. I'm going to be karmically well, and I'm just going to say, ding, ding, ding.

Those are the reverse back.

Reverse back? Yeah. I got one today.

Oh, you did?

Mm hmm.

Oh, what could feel better?

Yeah, it's been tough figuring out her order lately, so I was pleased she's.

Getting spicy for the summer.

Yeah. I feel bad. Cause I did publicly say, I think she hates summer. I'm taking that back.

Oh, did you say that on synced?

I thought I said it here. Maybe I said it on synced.

Maybe you said it on our text chain. You definitely said it on our text chain.

Oh, well, I said it again. Oh, man, I'm getting caught that I said things twice.

You're never allowed to say anything twice. And if you do, you have to copyright it.

But I take it back. But for a while, she was feeling real feisty at the beginning of the summer. And I don't blame her. It's hot. Like, it's hot out. And people get crabby and testy, including me. I've decided that I want to go somewhere for a couple days.

You gotta get out of there.

I gotta get out because my apartment is so hot, and then outside is so hot. There's nowhere to go. Except my bedroom is kind of. If I keep the door closed and the fan on, it's okay. But then I'm just in my room. Like I'm depressed in there.

Well, I don't wanna be critical of your apartment or your apartment building or the management of it. But it is curious that they mounted one air conditioner in your whole apartment. And they put it in the kitchen where no one sits to watch tv and no one sleeps. It's an interesting spot for it.

Yeah.

Have you considered moving your bed into the kitchen? Think about it.

That's a good thought. No, I just gotta go. I gotta leave. I gotta get out of here.

Traditionally, this is when I would spend a lot of time at the movie theater. Like when I lived in Santa Monica with no air conditioning. Come September, when I get blazing, I'd see a couple movies a day just to beat the heat.

Yeah.

Not gonna do it.

I'm not in the mood for movies right now.

So you haven't found a pool since I last spoke to you, I'm guessing.

No, I have not.

Really?

Yeah, I haven't.

And you don't like my idea of checking into a hotel. Stay calm.

I might. I might. I looked into going to a hotel. I won't say which one.

Okay. Ice cold air conditioning.

I assume they have gray air conditioning.

Based on the brand of the hotel.

I'm not gonna finish that sentence.

Okay.

But I assume they have great air conditioning. Cause it's a hotel, so. And I've never been to this hotel, so it might be a fun thing to do now. Oh, God.

Wait. You wanna talk about it?

I wanna talk about something.

Yeah, let's talk. Let's talk about it.

I think at this point, he needs addressing seconds.

Yeah, so go ahead. So, should we sell the full story or.

The full story?

I think.

Okay, full story is. You were joking. You were. You were making a joke.

I made a bad joke check involving.

One of our advertisers.

And yes, to be clear, because people heard it, it's also gone now. So if you try to go back, you can't find it. But it was, to me, it was obviously, obviously a joke, but that wasn't so clear.

Right. Well, there was a handful of people in the comments that said something about that. And then, so the advertiser saw that and so we got contacted. So we're like, okay, no problem, we'll take that out. That was a joke, but if doesn't sound like one, we'll take it out. And then, because you knew that those comments that we're now kind of defending and or evaluating whether or not we act, you decided are from when people are asking, but I'm not gonna say. I'm not gonna say that I wanna go to this hotel and where it is and how fun it is. And that sucks because I also know there's a big group that wants to know that and wants to see the outfits or know about them.Yeah.So it's just this bizarre valley. I think that one of the more hurtful ones was about. Well, there was some that I found misogynistic. Those were rough or, like, double standardy. Then there was some, basically, that I betrayed them, and I was like, hmm. I've never not been this, so. I haven't.You've been living at the mall since you were a kid?I've not been like, I'm a huge man of the people. I've never been that. Even when I worked at Soulcycle, I wasn't that. Like, that's not me. And so I haven't betrayed anyone. I've just attained a little more. So I've had a little more access, but I've stayed pretty true to my values, wants, needs, all of that stuff. And, like, that's all I can really do.Well, this hotel with the ice cold air conditioning sounds like a fortune.Shut up. God, you're trying to take me out.Never.Is that Groot?Yeah. Yeah, I'm with Groot. Of course I'm with Groot. I sleep with grass.Because you're his granddad.Yeah. I asked because she tossed him to me, and he landed perfectly in my nook. And I said, oh, he landed in my nook. And then I said, wait, is gruta he or she? She or they? And she said, groot's a groot. He doesn't. They. She goes, groots don't have genders like we do, okay?I mean, Groot is a tree. Really?Oh, by the way, you. We haven't figured out what kind of boy I am. Because you're a cookie boy. Amy Poehler is the bedtime boy, and.You'Re just a boy's boy.No, I'm a lake Boyden boy.Oh, sure, yeah, yeah.Finally figured it out. I'm a lake boy. Boy, do I love a lake. I get in there and just paddle around like a little dog. Like a little lake dog.Yeah. Okay, wait, hold on. I have a little more to say about the other thing, which is. So this hotel. Yeah, I want to go to. I want to go just for a couple days, and I'm going to have to probably go by myself.Okay.It's a very complicated thing to talk about, but.But you just.It's universal. I mean, not universal, but it affects a lot of people on both sides of this. But, like, I want to go with a couple people that I know could go.Right, but you don't have to pay for them.Exactly. And it wouldn't even be responsible to ask them.Yeah, right. You'd have to offer to pay for them to go.Yeah. And it circles back to all the things we've always talked about on here, which is like, what's the point of going to this nice place if you're.Alone, although you're reading all fours? So I feel like if there were ever a moment where you could be alone, felt like you had a reason to go alone.It's also an interesting thought for me because I love going places alone. I travel alone all the time.Yeah. You go to New York.I love it. But for some reason, in this particular circumstance, I don't know why. Maybe it's just my current headspace where I'm like, oh, oh, I want buddies there. Like, I want my friend. I wanna bring friends.Right.But that would mean that I would be paying double for something that's already a lot. And what is this? Like, it's just all confused. I'm confused.Yeah. Yeah. And you know how I did it for years and years and years, which is just. I paid for people to go everywhere, and then some of those people ended up really resenting me for that, which I couldn't really make peace with. I'm like, why? Why are you resentful towards me?Yeah, it's really complicated.Yeah. Then meets the eye.Yeah.Basically, there's some people that I can do that with, and there's no resentment, and there's other people that, they resent me when I do that, which. So it's very confusing.Yeah. But then this is how weird silos happen. And then it's like, then only rich people can travel with rich people. Like, that's awful. Yeah, I don't want that at all. I enjoy the people in my life, and there's varying degrees of financial success within that. I don't want to change any of the people around me. So that's for me to then decide. Like, do I pay? Do I go alone? I don't know.Yeah, I don't have a very clear answer.Yeah, I don't think there is one. And maybe it just depends on the day.Yeah, it totally depends on the day. I really think it's person specific. You know, I have a very successful friend who's much older than me who said to me at one point, they had had a bad experience with some family members they supported, and then those people really mad at them, and they were talking to their therapist. The therapist said, the key is that relationships have to be respected, reciprocal. So if it can't be financial, it's almost on the person who's got the money to figure out how the other person can reciprocate by some other method. Or that's when it starts getting really fucked up. And I thought that was really interesting. I heard that a few years ago, and I think, I feel like I.Observe that there's also resentment that comes up from the other side.Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, I have friends all the time who will be like, yeah, I lent so and so money. They were broke. But then I saw they bought a new car. You know, those little things that happen. And then I'm like, yeah, you can't ever lend anyone money. You just have to give. Give someone money. Literally think, yeah, they might go buy a fucking four wheeler with it. I don't know. Zachary.Yes, a hundred percent. That's really a good lesson. And no string that's attached.Yep. Yeah, basically. Yeah. Yes. I also think the unavoidable thing is, is you do end up having more control than is healthy a relationship. Because basically you're picking, right? Like, if you're gonna invite people to where you want to go, you've just. You have picked.Yeah.And even that's a weird dynamic. I know, because what if you said, like, hey, whoever, do you want to come with me to x? And they go, no, but why don't you take us to Santa Barbara, this other hotel? That would feel a little crazy. But at the same time, if it's a friend trip, maybe that's part of it. I don't fucking know.Like, all of this is not good. I don't know.No, it's not good. It comes back to now how, what I also, I gotta add right now is I think this too. If you chose to see this, you could choose to see this conversation as two rich people talking about like, oh, God, what do they do? This happens on every ladder of the socio economic. Because my bro, I remember my brother was, started making more money than all of us. And he even said to me, this is why people of the same socioeconomic bracket hang out. Because. And I. And I was like, bullshit. I would. I didn't think there's any validity to it, but this whole idea in the book that, you know, basically you're climbing and you're climbing, and then basically you're levitating for a minute, and then from then on, you're falling.Yeah. Yeah. That's the battle I'm in right now.It's tough. I mean, this idea that, like, oh, from this point forward, and I'm just, like, inching towards the end is scary, but it's all perspective. Like, that wasn't my ultimate takeaway. By the end, I think it has a more optimistic ending. I would really recommend it, and I want men to read it.I will. I'll do it. I saw some photos of myself on this trip where I was like, oh, boy, are we losing our hair? Like, really quick? Is that what's going on today? I'm telling you, really? I don't know if it's lighting or whatever. I'm like, whoa, are we. We're much thinner than I thought we were. And I was online today getting a topical finasteride.Oh, nice.Yeah, yeah. Like, panicked. I'm like, jesus Christ, here we go. I'm gonna look just like my dad. Gonna have a big dome. Yeah. No, I was looking at myself in the mirror, like, imagining myself. Cause at the rate, you know, you know, when you panic in my mind, the rate at which it's falling out, probably by August, I'm gonna look like my dad, but I'm gonna fight it. I'm gonna get every topical known to man, and I ordered several of them today.Yeah, yeah, it's.I know. Yeah. It's not gonna get better for me. It's not gonna get better.Well, no, no, no, no. That's not true.No, hold on. My life may get better, but physically, I'm not gonna be getting better.It's how we define better.Yeah, Balder, I guess Balder's better. You get more vitamin D through the sun exposure.Oh, yeah. Okay, real quick. So some facts, not very many. This is for Allegra.Now. I got it. Just always to keep ourselves honest. This was definitely a good thing that came out of the comments. This is one. We got to give the check in the pros for this one.Okay. I loved this episode. I learned so much. I have so much compassion for people who suffer with this.Absolutely. Oh, man.Oh, man.All consuming, it sounds.Yeah. Okay. The difference between a cortado and a cappuccino.Oh, okay. That came up.Yep. It's the amount of milk. So a cortado consists of equal parts espresso and steamed milk, ensuring a balanced flavor. A latte has one to three ratio of coffee to milk, making it a milkier option. Finally, a cappuccino features equal parts of espresso, steamed milk, and frothy milk foam, delivering a thicker and foamier texture compared to the other two.Well, perfect timing. Ding, ding, ding. I don't ever drink cappuccinos. And I've had probably 65 since I got.Oh, I love cappuccino. That's my go to.It's so fucking good because coffee is so bad everywhere. That's not unique to Norway. Like, so few people are into coffee the way Americans are.Right?Black coffee, Americano. Like, if you get an American, you know it's an Americano. It's not. So you gotta go cappuccino when you're overseas. And, man, have I been putting them back.Why don't you try cortado next time, see if you like it.Yeah, I'll see if that rings a bell. Next place I'm ordering one, they'll know it. What we found out, what we found out, at least at the last place is we kept ordering double cappuccinos. Cause Eric and I want two shot. We want an extra shot in there. And they said, that's a flat white. We would never call it a double cappuccino. So now we've been ordering flat whites and boy, boy George. Are those good?Yeah, flat whites are good. Okay. There's a chart about all of them, which is fun. You can buy the chart on etsy.Okay.A breve, which you know about. Oh, brevi latte, average espresso added with steamed half and half to create.Yeah. When I first met Will Arnett, he introduced me to the breve on let's go to prison. And we were blasting those brevies until we realized they're like 9000 calories was a cannonball that had been shot at this church, and they left it in the wall.Okay.So you could go look. It's still lodged in the wall. So we're driving in the car to the next place, and we're in the car for hours, and I don't know where delta just goes, hey, mom, you know how they chose to leave that cannonball in the wall, and over time, it became an artifact? I think the next time you tell me to pick up my clothes, I'm just gonna leave them in hopes that they'll become an artifact.That's cute.That's funny. What a wonderful train of thought that was.Yeah. I love that she's so smart.She is. Lincoln's so adventurous. She's been jumping off everything and scaring me. I looked up. We were playing spades and drinking coffee on this patio of the hotel. And I look up, and I see Lincoln, who certainly doesn't think I can see her. They're on the fifth floor, and she has gone out on the railing of the balcony and has gone around the outside of. Of the post holding it up. Something I definitely did a million times. When I was a kid, and I was just watching this from 100 yards away, and she's on the fifth floor, and I'm like, yeah. Oh.Oh, scary, my child. Yeah, that's your fault.Yeah, it is totally my fault.Okay, now chai means tea in Hindi.I know, I know, I know.Okay, did you.Cause I did. I did. I did.I just.Because we say chai tea, which is redundant. And when we posted the bill Gates thing, people were like, chai is tea. I'm like, I know, but. But people still say chai tea, where I'm posting this, I guess, and chai tastes so specific. It's different than green tea and. And herbamante tea.I just like. Of course we changed it.We had to. We had no choice.We did.Not too many offerings at all. Back when there was only one flavor of tea. You could just say chai.Well, we could have made the other teas. We could have made them green chai, you know?Yeah, that's fair.Yeah.Okay.Okay. We were coming up with other people named Allegra, and you said allegra busses, but it's actually Allegra. Allegro bus.A couple days after I had said that, I was looking at Instagram, and I follow a guy who has an allegro bus, and he had posted a picture of it, and I was like, mm. That was wrong. It's Allegro.Yeah.I'm glad you looked that up. Lest anyone has searched the Internet trying to buy an Allegro bus.Allegro. That's it. There really weren't much facts.Chai is tea.Chai is tea.Quartado is not cappuccino.Mm hmm. Cappuccino has faux milk and steamed milk.Don't drink venti brevi lattes.No. Do it if you want. I'm not telling people what to do.You're not gonna be on a campaign against brevy lattes.Mm mm. I bet a cream top is a.Breve of sorts, but with ice cream batter. That's a birthday drink. Birthday cake drink. Armor. Armor. Well, I hope you go. Listen, don't listen to these haters. I hope you go find yourself an ice cold, air conditioned room and a nice pool to swim around in.Thank.Oh, yeah. One of that episode is when we were talking about Hermes. So that's what threw people over the edge, right?Yeah.Also, ironically, that was a Tuesday that this was happening.Yeah.Based on the Monday episode, Wednesday was an episode of synced, and we, of course, had talked about it also on synced.Oh, okay.So Tuesday night, when all this was happening, I was like, fuck.Like this.There's an episode tomorrow about. With more Hermes chit chatter.Yeah.I was like, I'm gonna pull the episode. Oh, I really almost did. Because I was like, I can't. I can't handle what's about to come.Yeah.And then I thought, no, we have advertisers on that episode that it will fuck over. Like, I'm just gonna have to deal with this. And then I did. But you said the pool. One of the comments was. Cause I was talking about the towels. And she was like, she doesn't even know how to swim.I got real personal.Yeah. Oh, it got so personal. It got so personal. One is she was probably tipsy.Oh, wow.Yeah. Like, mean shit.Mean.Try to be nice. Just gonna leave it there. Try to be nice in this world if you can.Give it a shot. Give it a shot.Try it out.Give it a shot. See how it feels. All right, well, I love you. I can't wait for our next check in. These are so it. Bye.

are from when people are asking, but I'm not gonna say. I'm not gonna say that I wanna go to this hotel and where it is and how fun it is. And that sucks because I also know there's a big group that wants to know that and wants to see the outfits or know about them.

Yeah.

So it's just this bizarre valley. I think that one of the more hurtful ones was about. Well, there was some that I found misogynistic. Those were rough or, like, double standardy. Then there was some, basically, that I betrayed them, and I was like, hmm. I've never not been this, so. I haven't.

You've been living at the mall since you were a kid?

I've not been like, I'm a huge man of the people. I've never been that. Even when I worked at Soulcycle, I wasn't that. Like, that's not me. And so I haven't betrayed anyone. I've just attained a little more. So I've had a little more access, but I've stayed pretty true to my values, wants, needs, all of that stuff. And, like, that's all I can really do.

Well, this hotel with the ice cold air conditioning sounds like a fortune.

Shut up. God, you're trying to take me out.

Never.

Is that Groot?

Yeah. Yeah, I'm with Groot. Of course I'm with Groot. I sleep with grass.

Because you're his granddad.

Yeah. I asked because she tossed him to me, and he landed perfectly in my nook. And I said, oh, he landed in my nook. And then I said, wait, is gruta he or she? She or they? And she said, groot's a groot. He doesn't. They. She goes, groots don't have genders like we do, okay?

I mean, Groot is a tree. Really?

Oh, by the way, you. We haven't figured out what kind of boy I am. Because you're a cookie boy. Amy Poehler is the bedtime boy, and.

You'Re just a boy's boy.

No, I'm a lake Boyden boy.

Oh, sure, yeah, yeah.

Finally figured it out. I'm a lake boy. Boy, do I love a lake. I get in there and just paddle around like a little dog. Like a little lake dog.

Yeah. Okay, wait, hold on. I have a little more to say about the other thing, which is. So this hotel. Yeah, I want to go to. I want to go just for a couple days, and I'm going to have to probably go by myself.

Okay.

It's a very complicated thing to talk about, but.

But you just.

It's universal. I mean, not universal, but it affects a lot of people on both sides of this. But, like, I want to go with a couple people that I know could go.

Right, but you don't have to pay for them.

Exactly. And it wouldn't even be responsible to ask them.

Yeah, right. You'd have to offer to pay for them to go.

Yeah. And it circles back to all the things we've always talked about on here, which is like, what's the point of going to this nice place if you're.

Alone, although you're reading all fours? So I feel like if there were ever a moment where you could be alone, felt like you had a reason to go alone.

It's also an interesting thought for me because I love going places alone. I travel alone all the time.

Yeah. You go to New York.

I love it. But for some reason, in this particular circumstance, I don't know why. Maybe it's just my current headspace where I'm like, oh, oh, I want buddies there. Like, I want my friend. I wanna bring friends.

Right.

But that would mean that I would be paying double for something that's already a lot. And what is this? Like, it's just all confused. I'm confused.

Yeah. Yeah. And you know how I did it for years and years and years, which is just. I paid for people to go everywhere, and then some of those people ended up really resenting me for that, which I couldn't really make peace with. I'm like, why? Why are you resentful towards me?

Yeah, it's really complicated.

Yeah. Then meets the eye.

Yeah.

Basically, there's some people that I can do that with, and there's no resentment, and there's other people that, they resent me when I do that, which. So it's very confusing.

Yeah. But then this is how weird silos happen. And then it's like, then only rich people can travel with rich people. Like, that's awful. Yeah, I don't want that at all. I enjoy the people in my life, and there's varying degrees of financial success within that. I don't want to change any of the people around me. So that's for me to then decide. Like, do I pay? Do I go alone? I don't know.

Yeah, I don't have a very clear answer.

Yeah, I don't think there is one. And maybe it just depends on the day.

Yeah, it totally depends on the day. I really think it's person specific. You know, I have a very successful friend who's much older than me who said to me at one point, they had had a bad experience with some family members they supported, and then those people really mad at them, and they were talking to their therapist. The therapist said, the key is that relationships have to be respected, reciprocal. So if it can't be financial, it's almost on the person who's got the money to figure out how the other person can reciprocate by some other method. Or that's when it starts getting really fucked up. And I thought that was really interesting. I heard that a few years ago, and I think, I feel like I.

Observe that there's also resentment that comes up from the other side.

Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, I have friends all the time who will be like, yeah, I lent so and so money. They were broke. But then I saw they bought a new car. You know, those little things that happen. And then I'm like, yeah, you can't ever lend anyone money. You just have to give. Give someone money. Literally think, yeah, they might go buy a fucking four wheeler with it. I don't know. Zachary.

Yes, a hundred percent. That's really a good lesson. And no string that's attached.

Yep. Yeah, basically. Yeah. Yes. I also think the unavoidable thing is, is you do end up having more control than is healthy a relationship. Because basically you're picking, right? Like, if you're gonna invite people to where you want to go, you've just. You have picked.

Yeah.

And even that's a weird dynamic. I know, because what if you said, like, hey, whoever, do you want to come with me to x? And they go, no, but why don't you take us to Santa Barbara, this other hotel? That would feel a little crazy. But at the same time, if it's a friend trip, maybe that's part of it. I don't fucking know.

Like, all of this is not good. I don't know.

No, it's not good. It comes back to now how, what I also, I gotta add right now is I think this too. If you chose to see this, you could choose to see this conversation as two rich people talking about like, oh, God, what do they do? This happens on every ladder of the socio economic. Because my bro, I remember my brother was, started making more money than all of us. And he even said to me, this is why people of the same socioeconomic bracket hang out. Because. And I. And I was like, bullshit. I would. I didn't think there's any validity to it, but this whole idea in the book that, you know, basically you're climbing and you're climbing, and then basically you're levitating for a minute, and then from then on, you're falling.Yeah. Yeah. That's the battle I'm in right now.It's tough. I mean, this idea that, like, oh, from this point forward, and I'm just, like, inching towards the end is scary, but it's all perspective. Like, that wasn't my ultimate takeaway. By the end, I think it has a more optimistic ending. I would really recommend it, and I want men to read it.I will. I'll do it. I saw some photos of myself on this trip where I was like, oh, boy, are we losing our hair? Like, really quick? Is that what's going on today? I'm telling you, really? I don't know if it's lighting or whatever. I'm like, whoa, are we. We're much thinner than I thought we were. And I was online today getting a topical finasteride.Oh, nice.Yeah, yeah. Like, panicked. I'm like, jesus Christ, here we go. I'm gonna look just like my dad. Gonna have a big dome. Yeah. No, I was looking at myself in the mirror, like, imagining myself. Cause at the rate, you know, you know, when you panic in my mind, the rate at which it's falling out, probably by August, I'm gonna look like my dad, but I'm gonna fight it. I'm gonna get every topical known to man, and I ordered several of them today.Yeah, yeah, it's.I know. Yeah. It's not gonna get better for me. It's not gonna get better.Well, no, no, no, no. That's not true.No, hold on. My life may get better, but physically, I'm not gonna be getting better.It's how we define better.Yeah, Balder, I guess Balder's better. You get more vitamin D through the sun exposure.Oh, yeah. Okay, real quick. So some facts, not very many. This is for Allegra.Now. I got it. Just always to keep ourselves honest. This was definitely a good thing that came out of the comments. This is one. We got to give the check in the pros for this one.Okay. I loved this episode. I learned so much. I have so much compassion for people who suffer with this.Absolutely. Oh, man.Oh, man.All consuming, it sounds.Yeah. Okay. The difference between a cortado and a cappuccino.Oh, okay. That came up.Yep. It's the amount of milk. So a cortado consists of equal parts espresso and steamed milk, ensuring a balanced flavor. A latte has one to three ratio of coffee to milk, making it a milkier option. Finally, a cappuccino features equal parts of espresso, steamed milk, and frothy milk foam, delivering a thicker and foamier texture compared to the other two.Well, perfect timing. Ding, ding, ding. I don't ever drink cappuccinos. And I've had probably 65 since I got.Oh, I love cappuccino. That's my go to.It's so fucking good because coffee is so bad everywhere. That's not unique to Norway. Like, so few people are into coffee the way Americans are.Right?Black coffee, Americano. Like, if you get an American, you know it's an Americano. It's not. So you gotta go cappuccino when you're overseas. And, man, have I been putting them back.Why don't you try cortado next time, see if you like it.Yeah, I'll see if that rings a bell. Next place I'm ordering one, they'll know it. What we found out, what we found out, at least at the last place is we kept ordering double cappuccinos. Cause Eric and I want two shot. We want an extra shot in there. And they said, that's a flat white. We would never call it a double cappuccino. So now we've been ordering flat whites and boy, boy George. Are those good?Yeah, flat whites are good. Okay. There's a chart about all of them, which is fun. You can buy the chart on etsy.Okay.A breve, which you know about. Oh, brevi latte, average espresso added with steamed half and half to create.Yeah. When I first met Will Arnett, he introduced me to the breve on let's go to prison. And we were blasting those brevies until we realized they're like 9000 calories was a cannonball that had been shot at this church, and they left it in the wall.Okay.So you could go look. It's still lodged in the wall. So we're driving in the car to the next place, and we're in the car for hours, and I don't know where delta just goes, hey, mom, you know how they chose to leave that cannonball in the wall, and over time, it became an artifact? I think the next time you tell me to pick up my clothes, I'm just gonna leave them in hopes that they'll become an artifact.That's cute.That's funny. What a wonderful train of thought that was.Yeah. I love that she's so smart.She is. Lincoln's so adventurous. She's been jumping off everything and scaring me. I looked up. We were playing spades and drinking coffee on this patio of the hotel. And I look up, and I see Lincoln, who certainly doesn't think I can see her. They're on the fifth floor, and she has gone out on the railing of the balcony and has gone around the outside of. Of the post holding it up. Something I definitely did a million times. When I was a kid, and I was just watching this from 100 yards away, and she's on the fifth floor, and I'm like, yeah. Oh.Oh, scary, my child. Yeah, that's your fault.Yeah, it is totally my fault.Okay, now chai means tea in Hindi.I know, I know, I know.Okay, did you.Cause I did. I did. I did.I just.Because we say chai tea, which is redundant. And when we posted the bill Gates thing, people were like, chai is tea. I'm like, I know, but. But people still say chai tea, where I'm posting this, I guess, and chai tastes so specific. It's different than green tea and. And herbamante tea.I just like. Of course we changed it.We had to. We had no choice.We did.Not too many offerings at all. Back when there was only one flavor of tea. You could just say chai.Well, we could have made the other teas. We could have made them green chai, you know?Yeah, that's fair.Yeah.Okay.Okay. We were coming up with other people named Allegra, and you said allegra busses, but it's actually Allegra. Allegro bus.A couple days after I had said that, I was looking at Instagram, and I follow a guy who has an allegro bus, and he had posted a picture of it, and I was like, mm. That was wrong. It's Allegro.Yeah.I'm glad you looked that up. Lest anyone has searched the Internet trying to buy an Allegro bus.Allegro. That's it. There really weren't much facts.Chai is tea.Chai is tea.Quartado is not cappuccino.Mm hmm. Cappuccino has faux milk and steamed milk.Don't drink venti brevi lattes.No. Do it if you want. I'm not telling people what to do.You're not gonna be on a campaign against brevy lattes.Mm mm. I bet a cream top is a.Breve of sorts, but with ice cream batter. That's a birthday drink. Birthday cake drink. Armor. Armor. Well, I hope you go. Listen, don't listen to these haters. I hope you go find yourself an ice cold, air conditioned room and a nice pool to swim around in.Thank.Oh, yeah. One of that episode is when we were talking about Hermes. So that's what threw people over the edge, right?Yeah.Also, ironically, that was a Tuesday that this was happening.Yeah.Based on the Monday episode, Wednesday was an episode of synced, and we, of course, had talked about it also on synced.Oh, okay.So Tuesday night, when all this was happening, I was like, fuck.Like this.There's an episode tomorrow about. With more Hermes chit chatter.Yeah.I was like, I'm gonna pull the episode. Oh, I really almost did. Because I was like, I can't. I can't handle what's about to come.Yeah.And then I thought, no, we have advertisers on that episode that it will fuck over. Like, I'm just gonna have to deal with this. And then I did. But you said the pool. One of the comments was. Cause I was talking about the towels. And she was like, she doesn't even know how to swim.I got real personal.Yeah. Oh, it got so personal. It got so personal. One is she was probably tipsy.Oh, wow.Yeah. Like, mean shit.Mean.Try to be nice. Just gonna leave it there. Try to be nice in this world if you can.Give it a shot. Give it a shot.Try it out.Give it a shot. See how it feels. All right, well, I love you. I can't wait for our next check in. These are so it. Bye.

this whole idea in the book that, you know, basically you're climbing and you're climbing, and then basically you're levitating for a minute, and then from then on, you're falling.

Yeah. Yeah. That's the battle I'm in right now.

It's tough. I mean, this idea that, like, oh, from this point forward, and I'm just, like, inching towards the end is scary, but it's all perspective. Like, that wasn't my ultimate takeaway. By the end, I think it has a more optimistic ending. I would really recommend it, and I want men to read it.

I will. I'll do it. I saw some photos of myself on this trip where I was like, oh, boy, are we losing our hair? Like, really quick? Is that what's going on today? I'm telling you, really? I don't know if it's lighting or whatever. I'm like, whoa, are we. We're much thinner than I thought we were. And I was online today getting a topical finasteride.

Oh, nice.

Yeah, yeah. Like, panicked. I'm like, jesus Christ, here we go. I'm gonna look just like my dad. Gonna have a big dome. Yeah. No, I was looking at myself in the mirror, like, imagining myself. Cause at the rate, you know, you know, when you panic in my mind, the rate at which it's falling out, probably by August, I'm gonna look like my dad, but I'm gonna fight it. I'm gonna get every topical known to man, and I ordered several of them today.

Yeah, yeah, it's.

I know. Yeah. It's not gonna get better for me. It's not gonna get better.

Well, no, no, no, no. That's not true.

No, hold on. My life may get better, but physically, I'm not gonna be getting better.

It's how we define better.

Yeah, Balder, I guess Balder's better. You get more vitamin D through the sun exposure.

Oh, yeah. Okay, real quick. So some facts, not very many. This is for Allegra.

Now. I got it. Just always to keep ourselves honest. This was definitely a good thing that came out of the comments. This is one. We got to give the check in the pros for this one.

Okay. I loved this episode. I learned so much. I have so much compassion for people who suffer with this.

Absolutely. Oh, man.

Oh, man.

All consuming, it sounds.

Yeah. Okay. The difference between a cortado and a cappuccino.

Oh, okay. That came up.

Yep. It's the amount of milk. So a cortado consists of equal parts espresso and steamed milk, ensuring a balanced flavor. A latte has one to three ratio of coffee to milk, making it a milkier option. Finally, a cappuccino features equal parts of espresso, steamed milk, and frothy milk foam, delivering a thicker and foamier texture compared to the other two.

Well, perfect timing. Ding, ding, ding. I don't ever drink cappuccinos. And I've had probably 65 since I got.

Oh, I love cappuccino. That's my go to.

It's so fucking good because coffee is so bad everywhere. That's not unique to Norway. Like, so few people are into coffee the way Americans are.

Right?

Black coffee, Americano. Like, if you get an American, you know it's an Americano. It's not. So you gotta go cappuccino when you're overseas. And, man, have I been putting them back.

Why don't you try cortado next time, see if you like it.

Yeah, I'll see if that rings a bell. Next place I'm ordering one, they'll know it. What we found out, what we found out, at least at the last place is we kept ordering double cappuccinos. Cause Eric and I want two shot. We want an extra shot in there. And they said, that's a flat white. We would never call it a double cappuccino. So now we've been ordering flat whites and boy, boy George. Are those good?

Yeah, flat whites are good. Okay. There's a chart about all of them, which is fun. You can buy the chart on etsy.

Okay.

A breve, which you know about. Oh, brevi latte, average espresso added with steamed half and half to create.

Yeah. When I first met Will Arnett, he introduced me to the breve on let's go to prison. And we were blasting those brevies until we realized they're like 9000 calories was a cannonball that had been shot at this church, and they left it in the wall.Okay.So you could go look. It's still lodged in the wall. So we're driving in the car to the next place, and we're in the car for hours, and I don't know where delta just goes, hey, mom, you know how they chose to leave that cannonball in the wall, and over time, it became an artifact? I think the next time you tell me to pick up my clothes, I'm just gonna leave them in hopes that they'll become an artifact.That's cute.That's funny. What a wonderful train of thought that was.Yeah. I love that she's so smart.She is. Lincoln's so adventurous. She's been jumping off everything and scaring me. I looked up. We were playing spades and drinking coffee on this patio of the hotel. And I look up, and I see Lincoln, who certainly doesn't think I can see her. They're on the fifth floor, and she has gone out on the railing of the balcony and has gone around the outside of. Of the post holding it up. Something I definitely did a million times. When I was a kid, and I was just watching this from 100 yards away, and she's on the fifth floor, and I'm like, yeah. Oh.Oh, scary, my child. Yeah, that's your fault.Yeah, it is totally my fault.Okay, now chai means tea in Hindi.I know, I know, I know.Okay, did you.Cause I did. I did. I did.I just.Because we say chai tea, which is redundant. And when we posted the bill Gates thing, people were like, chai is tea. I'm like, I know, but. But people still say chai tea, where I'm posting this, I guess, and chai tastes so specific. It's different than green tea and. And herbamante tea.I just like. Of course we changed it.We had to. We had no choice.We did.Not too many offerings at all. Back when there was only one flavor of tea. You could just say chai.Well, we could have made the other teas. We could have made them green chai, you know?Yeah, that's fair.Yeah.Okay.Okay. We were coming up with other people named Allegra, and you said allegra busses, but it's actually Allegra. Allegro bus.A couple days after I had said that, I was looking at Instagram, and I follow a guy who has an allegro bus, and he had posted a picture of it, and I was like, mm. That was wrong. It's Allegro.Yeah.I'm glad you looked that up. Lest anyone has searched the Internet trying to buy an Allegro bus.Allegro. That's it. There really weren't much facts.Chai is tea.Chai is tea.Quartado is not cappuccino.Mm hmm. Cappuccino has faux milk and steamed milk.Don't drink venti brevi lattes.No. Do it if you want. I'm not telling people what to do.You're not gonna be on a campaign against brevy lattes.Mm mm. I bet a cream top is a.Breve of sorts, but with ice cream batter. That's a birthday drink. Birthday cake drink. Armor. Armor. Well, I hope you go. Listen, don't listen to these haters. I hope you go find yourself an ice cold, air conditioned room and a nice pool to swim around in.Thank.Oh, yeah. One of that episode is when we were talking about Hermes. So that's what threw people over the edge, right?Yeah.Also, ironically, that was a Tuesday that this was happening.Yeah.Based on the Monday episode, Wednesday was an episode of synced, and we, of course, had talked about it also on synced.Oh, okay.So Tuesday night, when all this was happening, I was like, fuck.Like this.There's an episode tomorrow about. With more Hermes chit chatter.Yeah.I was like, I'm gonna pull the episode. Oh, I really almost did. Because I was like, I can't. I can't handle what's about to come.Yeah.And then I thought, no, we have advertisers on that episode that it will fuck over. Like, I'm just gonna have to deal with this. And then I did. But you said the pool. One of the comments was. Cause I was talking about the towels. And she was like, she doesn't even know how to swim.I got real personal.Yeah. Oh, it got so personal. It got so personal. One is she was probably tipsy.Oh, wow.Yeah. Like, mean shit.Mean.Try to be nice. Just gonna leave it there. Try to be nice in this world if you can.Give it a shot. Give it a shot.Try it out.Give it a shot. See how it feels. All right, well, I love you. I can't wait for our next check in. These are so it. Bye.

was a cannonball that had been shot at this church, and they left it in the wall.

Okay.

So you could go look. It's still lodged in the wall. So we're driving in the car to the next place, and we're in the car for hours, and I don't know where delta just goes, hey, mom, you know how they chose to leave that cannonball in the wall, and over time, it became an artifact? I think the next time you tell me to pick up my clothes, I'm just gonna leave them in hopes that they'll become an artifact.

That's cute.

That's funny. What a wonderful train of thought that was.

Yeah. I love that she's so smart.

She is. Lincoln's so adventurous. She's been jumping off everything and scaring me. I looked up. We were playing spades and drinking coffee on this patio of the hotel. And I look up, and I see Lincoln, who certainly doesn't think I can see her. They're on the fifth floor, and she has gone out on the railing of the balcony and has gone around the outside of. Of the post holding it up. Something I definitely did a million times. When I was a kid, and I was just watching this from 100 yards away, and she's on the fifth floor, and I'm like, yeah. Oh.

Oh, scary, my child. Yeah, that's your fault.

Yeah, it is totally my fault.

Okay, now chai means tea in Hindi.

I know, I know, I know.

Okay, did you.

Cause I did. I did. I did.

I just.

Because we say chai tea, which is redundant. And when we posted the bill Gates thing, people were like, chai is tea. I'm like, I know, but. But people still say chai tea, where I'm posting this, I guess, and chai tastes so specific. It's different than green tea and. And herbamante tea.

I just like. Of course we changed it.

We had to. We had no choice.

We did.

Not too many offerings at all. Back when there was only one flavor of tea. You could just say chai.

Well, we could have made the other teas. We could have made them green chai, you know?

Yeah, that's fair.

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay. We were coming up with other people named Allegra, and you said allegra busses, but it's actually Allegra. Allegro bus.

A couple days after I had said that, I was looking at Instagram, and I follow a guy who has an allegro bus, and he had posted a picture of it, and I was like, mm. That was wrong. It's Allegro.

Yeah.

I'm glad you looked that up. Lest anyone has searched the Internet trying to buy an Allegro bus.

Allegro. That's it. There really weren't much facts.

Chai is tea.

Chai is tea.

Quartado is not cappuccino.

Mm hmm. Cappuccino has faux milk and steamed milk.

Don't drink venti brevi lattes.

No. Do it if you want. I'm not telling people what to do.

You're not gonna be on a campaign against brevy lattes.

Mm mm. I bet a cream top is a.

Breve of sorts, but with ice cream batter. That's a birthday drink. Birthday cake drink. Armor. Armor. Well, I hope you go. Listen, don't listen to these haters. I hope you go find yourself an ice cold, air conditioned room and a nice pool to swim around in.

Thank.

Oh, yeah. One of that episode is when we were talking about Hermes. So that's what threw people over the edge, right?

Yeah.

Also, ironically, that was a Tuesday that this was happening.

Yeah.

Based on the Monday episode, Wednesday was an episode of synced, and we, of course, had talked about it also on synced.

Oh, okay.

So Tuesday night, when all this was happening, I was like, fuck.

Like this.

There's an episode tomorrow about. With more Hermes chit chatter.

Yeah.

I was like, I'm gonna pull the episode. Oh, I really almost did. Because I was like, I can't. I can't handle what's about to come.

Yeah.

And then I thought, no, we have advertisers on that episode that it will fuck over. Like, I'm just gonna have to deal with this. And then I did. But you said the pool. One of the comments was. Cause I was talking about the towels. And she was like, she doesn't even know how to swim.

I got real personal.

Yeah. Oh, it got so personal. It got so personal. One is she was probably tipsy.

Oh, wow.

Yeah. Like, mean shit.

Mean.

Try to be nice. Just gonna leave it there. Try to be nice in this world if you can.

Give it a shot. Give it a shot.

Try it out.

Give it a shot. See how it feels. All right, well, I love you. I can't wait for our next check in. These are so it. Bye.