Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Dax Sheppard. I'm joined by Monica Babman. Hi. Hi. You're in the middle of a giggle.

I was laughing because I just opened our paper that says- Who we're-who we're doing this intro for and the credits and stuff and gives us a refresher. And it just says Eric Dane is an actor, period.

Yeah, Rob really phoned in this description. It was Emma. It was Emma. It was Emma.

Let's give her credit and let's be mad at her.

Now, she didn't phone a date because I will never say anything disparaging about Emma. But Rob, he, of course, is open season on Rob. Eric Dane is an actor. You already said it. But I think what will be really fun about this episode is he's a very good friend of mine. Yes, most importantly. We have a very funny beginning of our friendship.

Yeah, it was tumultuous.

It really was. We had a very tumultuous start, but we love each other so much in the nicest way. But of course, you know Eric Dane as Well, from Grey's Anat as McSteamy.

And boys, is he? He's still steamy.

Oh, also Easter egg. He was one of the two handsome guests. That's right. That Monica was dealing with the height of her-My peel. Your peel.

God, that was embarrassing.

And this was the one that we agreed I should have just brought it up because I know him well enough, and I didn't.

Did he ever bring it up?

Maybe if he's listening now, he's finding out for the first time that you were wrestling with a peel.

Eric, I had a peel that day.

She doesn't I don't normally cover her chin that much when she's talking.

And I normally don't have my face falling off.

He was like, I really like that Monica gal. She always covered her face when she spoke, which is interesting.

Okay, I have a question. If he had texted you and said, Hey, what was going on with Monica's face? Would you ever tell me? Knowing the way we've been talking about it and it's been out in the open?

Probably not. I don't know how that would make you feel. That would be helpful to you at all. But I can tell you, honestly, there was no such text. In fact, I've never, ever received a text that asked what was going on with your looks. I know we're past me trying to convince you you're good looking, but no one has said that there was something wrong with their face.

You said that people have texted that They want to hook up with you. Yeah. Yes.

But I'm not doing that anymore, though. I know. Yeah. So even when those texts come in, you won't know about those either. Okay. Grey's Anatomy. The last ship, fucking euphoria. This This motherfucker is on euphoria, and he's acting his ass off on euphoria. He's so good. He is in Bad Boys, which is my great relief. Not even relief. I was never doubting it, but it's doing so good. Oh, fun. Yes. He's the fucking bad guy in Bad Boys. What could be better? Ride or Die is the name of Bad Boys. He also has a new movie coming out August eighth on Prime Video called One Fast Move. Motorcycles, rum, rum, rum. You love them. All right. Love you. Everyone, enjoy Eric Dane.

He's an up-shirt expert.

He's an up-shirt expert.

Hi, pal. I swear to God, I was about 14 seconds away from texting you this morning when you texted me.

Oh, really?

Oh.

Good to see you. Good to see you, too. I really like this.

Thank you. Yeah, you're very handsome. So great to see you, man.

You, too. Have you been offered all the drinks and everything?

I have this thing, which is unreal.

Cream Top.

I don't know what that is. What alien fuckery that is, but it's really good.

Very sexual title, isn't it? Cream Top? Cream Top. Yeah. God bless him for naming it there. What are we driving? We're driving a matte black Beamer SUV.

I was going to bring the Grand National. When did you get that? I got it last year. It had 19,000 original miles on it. It was in exquisite condition. I put a great suspension in it. I basically made it like a daily driver. Big aluminum radiator.

Be cool Radiator, probably.

Rebuilt the motor. Redid the exhaust. Oh, boy.

Oh, I must see this? Why didn't you drive that? I don't know. What a dumb... I don't know. This feels very disrespectful to me.

I was like, Does Dax want to see this car? Of course. Jesus, man. It's so beautiful.

I don't know if you know Chris Pine, but I didn't know him. In fact, I had run into him twice, and I had this whole story that he didn't like me. Then we interviewed him a few weeks ago, and he rolled up in a '69, 911' green. I was like, Oh, this is going to cut through everything. It did. We just started looking out the window at this car, and then we both started liking each other. It was all based on him driving that car. Although if you would have drove that Grand National, I don't know that we would have ever come in.

We might have gone for a ride.

We might have gone for a ride. We might have also had to get out one of my stupid cars and gone for a cruise. I I can't believe you didn't drive it, but I'm going to get past it.

By the way, we've known each other for 300 years. There will be a time when we both get in that car together.

Are you still in the same house I last visited you?

Yeah. Is there a garage there? No, it's just out in the elements.

You and I could go anywhere today.

We could. Let's go.

I almost feel like we're going to have a sex scene, and we need to have a boundaries conversation.

Is Monica the Intimacy Coordinator? I love that. I would love to be that.

You're going to have to be that. Well, I am ultimately because I edit the show. I think we should go places, and if you want things cut How do you tell me.

You might be inclined to think like, Oh, it's easier when I interview friends, but it's actually harder.

I don't know. You're awfully good at this. I told you this when you started. I'm like, You're really good at this. So I'm confident that today is going to go smooth on this ride we're going.

But when you're really good friends with somebody, we know a lot of stuff about each other.

What do we discuss?

Yeah, and I don't really know what anyone's comfort level is in public. We had Downey on us. Where are we going to go? All the way?

All the way.

Also, comfort levels change It's changed throughout time. One time, I brought up that Dax had an orgy and pooped, and he got so mad that I brought it up, even though he brought it up the once before.

Oh, I bring it up itself.

Yeah, okay.

I get that. So it can be testy.

Yeah. It's scary out there. Eric's definitely heard that story.

I I think I have, but I don't know if we need to revisit that one.

It might come up organically. I don't know.

It certainly did on the day.

So, dude, the last time I was here, your yard was a radio control car track. That's how long ago it was.

It was a dust bowl. What What do you think? The progress?

I think it's beautiful. I love this house.

Thank you. I love where you live. It's got so much style and character, but you have a lot of style. I think what would be really confusing for people to hear is the birth of our relationship.

Oh, my God.

Because these are my favorite kinds of relationships. Do you share this?

Let's go. We've discussed this and we've laughed about it. Do you want to start or should I? Go ahead. I'd love to hear your perspective. Dax and I had a contentious beginning. Love it. We were at a meeting at a friend's house. Somebody's living room.

A nice house.

An AA meeting. Can we say that? Yeah, absolutely.

We're both sober. We're both public about that.

It wasn't a business meeting. It was an AA. No, it wasn't a business meeting.

You're in an AA meeting. That actually helps the story. We're at an AA meeting in a very nice house in Bel Air, very civil environment. Somebody I brought to the meeting with me was sharing and just did not stop, was droning on. There's a Timer, and Dax's friend, his sponsor, actually, who I didn't know.

Can I already say you're being very generous about your telling already?

Okay, that's good.

Yeah, I'm impressed with this.

Okay, so his sponsee was running the Timer, and he kept resetting the Timer to 15 seconds every time this guy would go over, and the Timer went off seven times.

He was letting him continue. Yeah.

And this may be our first disagreement on the history, but I think he was more setting a good 30 to a minute. But regardless, it was- But this guy was droning on.

Right. And he did not pay attention to the Timer to the point where I was even like, Dude, that Timer bell is for you.

You have the anxiety of having brought a new person to that meeting, which is insular.

And by the way, I brought a person who probably shouldn't have been at that meeting.

But I'm stressed for you.

I'm already in the hole a little bit, right?

Until, yeah.

I was not in the best space.

Sure. Let's just say that. Let me remember where you guys are.

I may not even have been sober at the time.

That's That's why you're there.

And this poor kid buzzes the buzzer one more time, and I said, If you buzz that buzzer one more time, I'm going to stick it up your ass.

He said, I'm going to throw you in that fucking candle. There was an enormous- Oh, this is how civil- I'm going to throw you in the candle. What a threat. That's how civil this meeting was, that there was a very expensive multi-wick candle burning in the middle.

Yeah, so I was going to set him ablaze with a candle. Got it. And Dax stands up and points at me points outside. I'm like, Okay, motherfucker, let's go.

This has been brewing, to be honest.

It's been brewing. I don't know why we had this thing. We'll get to that. Do you remember? Yeah. You can provide that backstory. I'll just continue on with this. Yeah. We're outside. Dax is like, What the fuck was that about, man? It's just as I'm about to open my mouth, our sponsor comes out and gets in between the middle of us.

You have a shared sponsor.

We have a shared sponsor. He gets in between us. He's like, What What the fuck is going on?

You guys are about to fight in the driveway of our host's home. Right. I don't go outside to talk. It was on. We were going to fight at this A-A meeting.

I got to be honest with you, Dax probably would have... It would have been a drudging. Really? Yes, a drubbing.

Again, very generous of you to say.

Because do you fight?

I mean, I can fight, but Dax is a unit. He wants to fight. This guy looks for fights.

Well, yes.

Look, man, I have no notes. That was such a generous retelling of it.

Pepper and some stuff.

Yeah, I'm going to throw you in I think I said outside, motherfucker. We got outside, and again, we're at someone's house who I love and want to respect me. For sure. His opinion of me is very important, and here I am doing that. It was crazy.

I just have to ask you, were we about to fight?

I was, yeah. Oh, okay.

I didn't know. I thought we were just going outside to have words.

Oh, you did.

Oh, see. Well, look, dude, you're a big motherfucker.

We would have scrapped a little bit.

Yes, but I'm not going out to argue until you the first punch. It's on. I'm going out there, it's like, my best shot is to throw immediately.

Oh, Jesus. Well, cooler heads prevent.

What is great, despite that, over time, I start falling in love with you. It's the craziest, and I can almost remember a couple of the moments where it happened. You came in one time and you had a share that was so fucking humble and honest, and I relate so much to you. Come to find out as we become friends, we have the exact same bag of bullshit. Which is, of course, why I think there was tension from the get-go. But you had a couple shares where afterwards I said to you, Man, I really enjoyed that.

You acknowledged something I said in your share, and you actually complained to the group, you said, I hated you for so long, but I've come to really love you. I think I might have returned the favor in the middle of the room.

Which must have been a relief for all the other people.

For everybody else, right?

Because they were like, A storm is brewing. I mean, how funny we obviously showed up the following week and just rolled past that whole thing. I know. I'd be bad at putting a time on that. Do you think that was 10 years ago? For sure. And then I just came to slowly like you, like you, like you. And I think also when I went out, I think that was really big for me because this is what you and I share. And I think it's a really unique opportunity for you and I to talk about this, which is we're dudes who had a lot of time and went out.

Yeah. Humbling experience.

I want to almost compare it to gambling addiction. It's been explained to me that these guys who get really deep in the hole, at the end of their addiction, they're not trying to win. They just have a fantasy of they just want to get back to zero. And it's almost like having a lot of time and going out. It becomes this huge thing over for you? Will I ever have that again?

Trying to get back to that number?

Yes. You and I were never trying to get to that big number, which is how we got there. But then this paradigm shifts where now you're trying to get back to this number and hope that you can exceed it and then find some freedom again.

And you're not going to experience the freedom until you get to that number. In my case, it was like, I have to wait nine years to experience that freedom again.

Or even if I'm being dead honest, there was some self-esteem I got from having been someone at that meeting who had some amount of time. I'm sure that led to some of my judgment of you early on. To let go of that is really interesting and hard.

Because you know it's interesting. The first time we actually met, I had given you a ride home, and I had just gotten a new car, and you jumped in the car and you were like, oh, that new car smell. And we started discussing cars. And then you shared with me, do you still journal every day? Every day you were journaling and you shared all this stuff with me. And it was actually a nice experience. And somewhere along the way, that's true. I I just got derailed. That's true.

Do you remember I went and got your motorcycle for you?

The Ducati?

Yeah, you had a hypermotard. That's right. That needed to get picked up at Beverly Hills Ducati. And I was like, Yeah, I'll go do that. That might have been the beginning because I remember trying to get it to your house. And I was like, When do you want You're like, I don't know. You were in no hurry to- I was not in any right state of mind, actually. Yeah, and I just remember, I can be very honest, I felt insulted like, God, I somehow became this guy's Aaron boy. I have his motorcycle.

Or taken advantage of, which is your issue.

Big trigger.

Yeah. Long story short, I adore you.

I adore you, too. I've had some of my favorite moments in sobriety, calling you and then going over to your house and shooting the shit. That's the crazy gift. How do I articulate this? Caring about someone and wanting someone to do well is a foreign feeling for me. I went from somehow seeing that you were an adversary that was going to attack me, that I needed a fight, to someone I deeply rooted for and wanted to win. Me too.

I can't say that about everybody. To be honest with you, you were an anomaly. I typically get along with everybody, but I don't root for everybody.

Yeah, right. That's hard.

You're somebody I really root for. In all your successes, I've genuinely I've gotten a warm feeling from it. Same.

But in these trips to your house, weirdly, as much as I knew your sobriety story, I didn't know your life story. I really remember leaving one time thinking, Oh, man, my friend has had such a ride, and it's harder than mine in ways, even though I think mine was so hard. The other thing I think we share besides the sobriety journey is this masculinity journey. I think that's why we triggered each other, maybe.

Correct my memory. Did you grow up in the same dynamic that I did where I didn't really have a father figure or somebody to model male behavior?

A thousand %. So my dad left at three, and I had an older brother. That was helpful. But I was really looking around at the other boys and going, Oh, fuck. What are they doing? Oh, they're jumping bikes. You got to jump your bicycle. Okay, I'll do it. Because there's no one telling you at home, you're on the path and you're becoming a man or you're doing the right stuff. So I was just so desperately pursuing whatever the male thing was. Sure. And it was a plague.

I always had fear surrounding connecting with other guys, boys, then young men, and then men. It was always something that was difficult for me to do to establish that connection. My father passed away when I was seven. I think it's because I never had anybody to show me how to interact with people of the same sex.

When you're really searching and trying to claim your masculinity because it wasn't passed on to you, I just think it sets up a precarious situation.

Precarious is a good word.

The specific part of your story that I heard that broke my heart and continues to break my heart for you is the notion that you were encouraged to be strong and brave.

Let me bring Monica up to speed. So my mother woke me up. I was seven years old. She woke me up at five in the morning, hysterically crying. So already I was terrified. When you see your parent out of control like that, you're like, Oh, shit, something's wrong with the world. Exactly. And she told me, I have to tell you something, but you have to be strong through the tears, hysterically crying. And she tripled down on that. And I finally promised her, I'm going to be strong. And she said, Your father's dead. And it was April first, 1980. My uncle had come over to tell my mother, I think, and I saw him sitting at the dining room table. And I I did not want to cry in front of him. I wanted to explode, but I held it all in.

Like anger?

Tears, anger, frustration, rage, you name it. I made some April Fool's joke. I don't think I slept, but I went back into my room, and my father passed away from a self-inflicted gunshot wound. Oh, boy. Just to add extra trauma to it.

Abandonment.

But also my grandmother, who we lived with, who was a major maternal influence in my life, died of an aneurysm four months later. Seven was difficult to say the least, but I also think it set the tone for the next however many years I've been around, I'm still dealing with it to some degree.

Yeah, well, loss is inevitable. It can happen at any moment, will happen at any moment. That's what it teaches you when you're a kid.

It teaches you, Oh, don't really trust anything. Everything can go away in a second. Exactly. Nothing's stable. Yeah. Correct. And the other shoe is always going to drop.

You just don't know when, but it is happening.

And I was old enough. I remember my father very well. I loved my father. He took me fishing. I remember the last time I saw him, I was at soccer practice. They had just separated and he had come down to visit. She said, Somebody's here to see you. It was like ominous. Walking out of the mist down this hill was my dad to pick me up from soccer practice. That's the last time I ever saw him.

Was he a big, handsome dude like you?

He was handsome in his own way, I think. He was more of an artistic bohemian? Yeah, he was an architect.

So smart, but really creative.

Yeah.

The notion that you had to You couldn't be a kid.

No, because everybody around me was telling me, You're the man of the house now.

Well, and you've got to protect mom now. That really resonates of being hyper aware. I've got to act a certain way for mom. She's now my gale. I'm now responsible.

But I don't have any idea how to do it.

I can barely get myself ready for school, but I'm now in charge of this person's emotions. But I just remember hearing that in your living room and literally wanting to hug you and apologize that I would have ever been a force again in your life that's threatening you.

We actually may have had that moment.

Yeah, just incredibly sad and touching. What happens to you in school? Do you start acting out any weird way?

I start trying really hard to be friends with people. As an alcoholic, somebody who deals with alcoholism, I was a chameleon. I was whatever I thought you wanted me to be. I overcompensated in a lot of ways.

Oh, man, I love you. You're such a sweet boy under all those muscles.

I mean, Kettle Black. I know it's comical how similar we are. Do you have brothers and sisters?

I have a younger brother, Sean. He was two, so it didn't really affect him, but I'm not so sure. I don't believe in big T, little T.

What's big T, little T?

Like big trauma, little trauma. I agree. I think people aren't all that unique, and we all experience the similar feelings at different levels of intensity, but the same feelings surround the circumstances.

Yeah, but when you're feeling like a chameleon, I guess, did you have any sense of... Because this is a character defect. This is how I've come to admit that I am culpable in a lot of this, which is I had a sense of justice, and I felt like what was happening to me was unjust at times, and I felt entitled to a lot of stuff.

I did, too. Okay, that's comforting. I felt like the world took something from me, and I was owed.

Yeah. It really loosened up my morals.

Mine, too.

Yeah, so they couldn't even locate them. They got so loose. That's so funny. So your ride through school, you moved high schools midway.

I did. This was actually good for me because I was a really great water polo player, and that's all I wanted to do. The school I went to, the team absolutely sucked. We moved districts. I didn't need to change schools, but I wanted to because they had a better water polo team. I went to a more competitive program and wasn't necessarily the best, but I was still pretty fucking good.

Now you guys were competitive and you won matches. Yeah. Did you have fantasies of going and playing in college?

I did. I didn't have the grades, though.

So interesting because you're so fucking smart. What was happening academically?

Academically, I just couldn't focus and settle down, and I didn't have great study habits. I always tested well, but that'll only carry you so far.

When did you start experimenting with stuff?

Junior year. It was marijuana at lunchtime. Why?

You chose to try it at school for the first time.

Oh, yeah. My water polo season ended early, which doesn't imply that we made it very far.

I got you. Prematurely.

Not deep into the postseason.

I had to fill a fifth period elective, so I took drama because I knew the gal who was in charge of attendance, and I could just leave school at lunch every day.

Oh, beautiful. Great plan.

I got into smoking marijuana. I didn't really like it, but the people I was hanging with really enjoyed it. So I did what they did.

Well, it's a turnkey group of friends.

Oh, yeah.

I think people that part of it.

I just jumped into a team that had already been together for a long time.

Us drug addicts will take anybody as long as you want to party. You must have seen American movie, that great documentary. No. What is it? About Mark Borchert. He's making horror movies. He's in Milwaukee. This is like 20-year-old Doc. He was the greatest Doc I've ever been.

Oh, yeah, I think I did see that.

Mike Shank was his buddy, and he was sober, but he was addicted to scratch offs. He's explaining why he became friends with Mark Borchert, Mike Shank, and he goes, I used to really like to drink vodka, and I always wanted to drink a lot of vodka. No one really wanted to. That meant Mark, he was like a wild dog. He always wanted to drink vodka. That was it. That's the foundation, and I totally relate to it.

Whatever you're doing, if we're doing that, we're buddies.

I'm sure you and I have hung out with some interesting- With Salute All Stars. I used to check in with my girlfriend, Bre to update her on my whereabouts. You should hear these descriptions of who I was in a hotel room with. I couldn't even really describe some of these people.

I had a moment of clarity. I went to this guy's house. Well, I mean, are we being totally honest? I went to the dealer's house to pick up whatever it was I was picking up. He's sitting there and I'm in this house. It looks like a fucking Sanford & Sons living room. No, their garage. Oh, yeah. She's not even their living room. I'm sitting there and I'm waiting for him to put together whatever it is I'm getting. Care package. Care package. There's stuff on this table and he points to this stuff and he's like, Hey, Do you want to try this? And I stop and I go, Wow, I've made the big times. I have arrived. I am in this absolute salvage yard, and this guy's offering me a substance off something that I don't know what it is.

Just learn the name of it.

I'm about to do it.

Yeah, because fuck it. It's preferable to how I feel.

Were you already successful at that time? Yeah. That complicates it, too. Somebody could see me walk in and out of here.

But also it's just like, I have some great friends, and I've managed to surround myself with people who are very smart and successful and really great people. And I'm sitting there going like, What am I doing here?

Watching yourself from above yourself? Yeah. That's me walking into random crack houses in Detroit. Look at this guy go. He seems to not be afraid at all, but I'm terrified up here.

Oh, my God.

Okay, so weed wasn't my first thing, but I was late in it because my dad was an alcoholic and I was not ever going to drink. So I did not try it till much later than I think all my friends did. But in 11th grade, I decided I'm going to drink. I remember getting three beers out of my fridge. I really did have that moment where I was like, Oh, fuck, yes. This is exactly what I've been looking for.

How do I stay this way for the rest of my life? That's the function of addiction right there.

How old were you when you got sober the first time? You must have been 26. That's young.

Monica, that was part of my rationale for picking up was like, I got sober when I was young. Maybe I'm not an alcohol. Maybe I'm fine.

Who are we just interviewing that had been sober since they were a kid. Bobby Lee. Bobby Lee. He had done a really long stretch from 16 years old till 30. I'm more impressed by those dudes than anyone else. I say dudes, I meet women as well, but I go to all men's meeting, just to clarify.

Well, look at our friend who broke up our scuffle.Impossible.

To me.18.

19 years old and never looked back.

Yeah, it's impressive because the voice in my head is like, Well, you were much different back then. You were scared a lot, and you had a lot of discomfort. All these reasons why I'm now magically a different human being.

It's going to be different this time.

Using like a gentleman.

I'm in a different station in life. We're not going to get off the rails with this. And then all of a sudden, you're zampered in.

About to do a drug, you just learned the name of it.

I'm not God.

Okay, so somehow, though, this drama class, is this what leads to you doing the Arthur Miller play?

Yeah, I played Joe Keller and All My Sons. That was another moment where I was like, I love this. How do I do this for the rest of my life? That's a good one. Right.

And so did you immediately Do you really think that's the goal and not the water polo?

Oh, I pivoted real quick because water polo was over.

It was. It was a wrap. You weren't going to go to college.

I wasn't going to go to college and play water polo.

Again, shocking to me. I think you're very smart.

Well, thanks. College is probably something I would do well in right now at 51.

Maybe it's time.

Well, our friend Eric.

You know Eric? Yeah. Eric goes to a UCLA extension class.

He takes microbiology. Oh, my God. Because of course, he does.

But it's cool. By the way, Eric's another guy. This is what I'm saying, my favorite people are people I started out not liking. I hated Eric when I met him. Did you really? Yeah, so we talk about it all the time.

Oh my God. He's like one of your best friends.

Yeah, I couldn't love him more. He's so goddamn flawed, and he's just my favorite person alive.

Talk about a sweep underneath.

Yeah, he's a sweetheart. I like Eric.

We're all sweet, turns out.

Despite the rough exterior and hard to crack.

So you moved to LA quick, a couple of years out of high school. You moved in '93?

'92, '93.

Okay. What was happening in the A year between? Because I moved out here two years after I graduated high school.

I had a manager that managed a couple of people in San Francisco that would hold these intensive workshops and bring casting directors from LA legit people to come help run these workshops. And eventually, she moved me to Los Angeles.

The manager did.

Yeah. Little known fact, Alicia Silverstone and I went to high school together. Oh, you did? We moved down to LA together. No. She was a I was a senior. And we lived in the same house with this manager who was actually really great. At 19, I couldn't appreciate it. All I wanted to do was party. But looking back, she had different acting classes for us throughout the week, and it was very structured. As a playground for a burgeoning young actor, it was absolutely perfect.

What year did she do Clueless?

She actually started working pretty fast. I want to say two, three years after we moved down here.

It just took off for her.

I was her minder on a Pizza Hut commercial. You were. I was. I was sent to be the adult in the room, which is wild. That anybody would ever trust me to be the adult in the room.

By the way, I would have never known this about you, but I have such great envy now. Some of the roles you picked up in the early years, which is you were on Saved by the Bell. This would have been a dream. That was my first job. I liked the show a ton. I would have been so excited to be on it.

I wasn't that familiar with the show, but I remember there was a weird experience on that. I learned something very valuable on that set. We did some take, and I think I was getting hit by a volleyball and falling out of frame. I didn't like the way that I had done it. I yelled, Cut, cut, cut. This director, I swear to God, he had an Ascot on. He pulls me aside and he's like, Listen, I'm the only one that's allowed to say, Cut on this set.

Eric, I did the exact same thing. No, you didn't. I'm without a paddle because I had never been in anything. I was on punked and there was no action or cut. It just went on for 40 minutes while we were doing the bit. Then I get down to New Zealand and do without a paddle and I mess up a line, and I go, Cut. Same thing. I'm like, This is my way of going. I fucked this up.

Yeah, me too.

Yeah. Same thing, sweet Steve Bro is like, Listen, brother, that's not for you to say. Yeah.

Well, my guy wasn't as nice. He was a little bit more abrasive than Steve.

Well, we knew he had to spend another three months with you. Maybe he would have. Who was in the scene? Was Zack Morris in the scene?

No, it was Leah Remini.

Leah Remini.

Was this at the Beach Club?

Yeah, I was had the evil volleyball player. Wow. Black shorts and all.

I'll go back.

Legs look great, I bet. A little water poler.

Terrible legs.

Was it like me? My wife described me as, I look like a man riding a chicken.

Oh, my God. Have you seen that meme of that pug standing up? And it's like old guys wearing skinny jeans? It's so funny.

Big abdomen.

Big abdomen, real tiny legs.

What What's your temperament during that period before things really hit?

Are you optimistic? Are you a pessimist? What are you thinking?

I'm insecure.

Doubtful that it's going to happen for you?

Well, that's the one thing I always thought I was going to will into some reality. I always knew that at some point, just outlast everybody, the war of attrition, and I'm going to get somewhere.

You also did Married with Children in Roseanne. When you went to Married with Children, now, here's where I'm really arrogant, cocky, and too optimistic, I would have been like, wait till Kelly Bundy meets me.

Dude, I thought we were going to settle down. Picket fence, super high episodic fee, because the episode of Married with Children I did was supposed to be a spinoff to be a new series. Oh, my goodness. Yeah, it was called Radio Free Trumaine, and it was about a college radio station, and it was me and this other kid and Kari Russell. No. Oh, wow.

Yes. Do I love her?

Yeah, she was great even then.

I don't know how you were that age, and just every set I went to, I'd have fallen in love with someone there. I still do. Yeah. It's a really romantic setting.

I have a question. Did you feel guilty about leaving your mom?

I didn't. She's a pretty good self-contained unit. She was always good at taking care of herself.

I was excited. I adore my mom, and we have a great relationship. You do? Number one gal. Additionally, I was thrilled. Literally what it felt like is I was about to be single for the first time. I I wouldn't be worried at all about her or her feelings.

Were you on your own when you moved here? Yeah. So that's the difference. I actually went from one mother to another mother.Not.

The manager.The manager.Oh, the manager.We.

All lived in the same house.Oh, sure.Oh, wow. Okay. I had a soft landing.

But again, I was thrilled about mine. I was like, Yeah, I'm only going to think about me now.

The training wheels are off. Yeah.

And by the way, she didn't ask me to be that way. I just was that way. It's not her fault. My mother was also very stable at this point and married and happy. So I didn't need I need to be worrying about her, but I did. And so I really liked being out here and being like, It's all about what I want to do, and all I got to think about is me. And I love thinking about me.

I don't know if I felt that way initially. I think eventually, I adopted the love for thinking about me. That's something I grew into.

That's one of my favorite subjects. Me. What would make me happier from a second to something.

Yeah, enough about me. Let's talk about me.

Stay tuned for more Armchair Experts. If You Dare. Okay, so I'm going to consult my timeline. Charmed is the first time you're a series regular.

Interestingly enough, so I was dating Alyssa.

Congratulations. I imagine. Did you also grow up watching Who's the Boss? I did. I did. I was so in love with her.

I had a massive crush on Alyssa when I was 14. By the time I was 28 and we were dating, I wasn't a child anymore. She was a person. It's a very quick window. A lovely, wonderful person, if I can add. We dated for a little bit, and she was obviously doing the show Charmed, and she asked me if I wanted to be on it, and I think I ended up doing 10 episodes of that. Oh, just 10? Well, we broke up.

Okay.

My time on Charmed was...

Was that the first time, though, that you had some economic stability?

I had done a show for ABC called Gideon's Crossing with Andre hour before, and we had gone a season. Oh, okay. Then Fox had given me a development deal. I was already economically, for a 28-year-old, pretty comfortable. Right. I wasn't wealthy, but I was paying the bills as an actor, which was nice.

Is there a moment you decided to get sober? Was it your first attempt?

It was my first attempt that stuck. I went to a treatment center in Pasadena. I didn't have two nickels to rub together when I was 26, and I went to get sober, and I had some friends who had gone through this place, and they had put me on a state bed. It was like a behavioral modification center. So it was pretty hardcore. I was in there with a lot of felons, drug deferred, and I got along so well with everybody. I did. I was like, These are my people. I was there for 88 days.Oh.

That's a good stretch from your 26.It was a good stretch.

It was a good stretch. I got out, and it was a soft landing. Again, my best friend had gotten sober three months before me, so we all moved into a house together, went to meetings.

So that makes sense because you got sober, and then things take off in a substantial way.

A year sober, I think that week, I had gotten that TV show.

Wow. The promises only took seven days for you.

Yeah. Things happened pretty quickly after that. I mean, things really took off when I did that episode of Grey's Anatomy. Oh, man.

So what's really funny is I'm reading about that. I guess I didn't realize you had guest-starred on the 18th episode of the second season, and that the response from the audience was so awesome that they made you a regular for the third season. Now, that towel scene, I know it inside now. I've never watched that show. That's how ubiquitous and iconic that thing was that I've never watched the show. And if I were a great painter, I could paint the exact image of you in the towel.

Yeah, that was something I just put the towel on, and they had some steam coming out. I've put a towel on a million times.

I knew this would be the one.

I was just telling Rob this, that season two of Grey's Anatomy-Because you were a Grey's. Huge. That was perfect timing for me. I was in college and loved it.

That show was fun to work on.

That's a very unique experience for you to have had because you've been at it for a while. You come out of a shower, you put a towel on, and now you have a nickname? Yeah. And the whole country knows of you.

It was wild, man.

What did that do to you mentally?

It was wild. But also, I had been sober for three or four years already. So I had my wits about me, and I knew what reality was and what reality wasn't. I was able to differentiate between the two. I was able to conceptualize what that was, keep it in its place, enjoy it, dip in every now and again, and come back. I think the net net is I didn't really handle it very well. Okay. Because if you take the whole eight years on Grey's Anatomy, I was fucked up longer than I was sober. And that's when things started going sideways for me.

Because you relapsed in the middle of that? Oh, yeah. But do you think that was part of why?

I think it may have been. It was overwhelming, and I think I just wanted to pretend that it wasn't and that I was comfortable with it. Act like you've been there, but you haven't been there.

In fact, very few humans in the history of mankind have been there.

You haven't been there, and it's very hard to digest.

You're just trying to start acting the part. You're like, Oh, now I'm making some money, and now I'll drive this car. Now I'll live here.

You go to Rome and you get up on stage and there's five people screaming and you're like, Oh, yeah, this is comfortable.

Naturally, this would be happening.

Yeah. And being known for being so hot. What a weird...

So that was weird for me because I never saw myself as that. It was a real source of self doubt.

You felt fraudulent in that role?

Yeah, I felt fraudulent. Wow.

Again, back to Chris Pine. This guy had all this judgment on. I saw him in Star Trek. I'm like, Of course, this motherfucker is the lead of Star Trek. I'll never be the lead of Star Trek. Look how gorgeous this guy is. He tells us he had cystic acne and was a recluse. And he's like, What? I'm a sex symbol? And you're like, Oh, right. It's never the experience that you're fantasizing about.

My exterior did not match my interior.

God, that's so hard to believe. Even though I didn't even see the show, I saw you in that towel. I was like, Look at this motherfucker. Of course, they're calling him McSteamy. The guy's a babe.

I saw me in that towel, too.

But also the character was this hot plastic surgeon.

I stitched myself up, and they really laid it on. Was Are you arrogant?

I guess so.

But also- Because Monica has had to admit to herself, she has a certain attraction to guys on screen that are arrogant. She was watching a Bradley Cooper performance, and she's like, God, this guy's a dick. I want to fuck him so bad.

I did say that. It's hard to reconcile when you think you're a feminist, but yeah, it's tricky. But you're also like, are you? Mcsteamy was fixing babies. Dr.

Mark Sloan. Let's be respectful.

Thank you, Dr.

Mark Sloan.

I also want to name Mark Sloan.

Oh, what a name. Oh, Frizzy Babies. Yeah, babies that have been in car accidents.

Saving lives. Yeah, I was doing a lot of corrective plastic surgery.

The kind that counts. No vanity projects.

No, no, no. Fixing kids.

The hot kind. Yeah, so of course, you're walking down the street like, I'm not that.

But that bums me out because I haven't met you yet. I'm looking at this guy in this towel, and I'm like, What a party this guy's having. Every girl in America knows he's got a great chassis, and they've already whipped up a fan. Like, what a gift. It breaks my heart you weren't experiencing that internally.

It's so funny. You're describing that, and I'm over here, I burped. It couldn't be more polar opposite.

And by the way, I already have clues from when I did finally meet you. You talk about Dempsey with such love in your heart. It's very clear that you like him and you think he's a rad dude. Yes. How do you get on with people? When you're stepping into this show where these people already have this long-standing work relationship, and he's the alpha of the program, can you little brother it? How did you fold into that?

You little brother it because I'm a lot younger than he is.

They're calling you McSteamy right out of the gates. Well, he was McDreamy. That could be problematic. I'd rather be Steamy than Dreamey. I know, but Patrick knew it was his show. He's very confident.

I don't think he ever felt threatened by me. It was apples and oranges.

Did you love Can't Buy Me Love as much as I did as a kid?

I loved that movie. Fuck. Just a young, coming-of-age teenage rom-com.

He betrays his best friends to be cool. So I think I've done a little of that at times.

What was his name?

Great question.

Arnold. Is it Arnold Miller?

Yeah, because they would say- Ronald Miller.

Ronald Miller. Roni Miller.

They couldn't believe Ronald Miller was with her. Remember Seth Green's little little brother, and the dude farts out the window at the party, and Seth Green is spying, and it knocks him out cold. Oh, my God. Once I became friends with Seth, I rewatched that movie. I was like, Oh, my God, you were in my favorite movie. That's right. How did you end up leaving? It would be so hard for me to give up security?

I didn't leave so much as I think I was let go.

At that point, you were struggling.

I was struggling. They didn't let me go because of that, although it definitely didn't help. I was starting to become, as most of these actors who have spent significant time on a show, you start to become very expensive for the network. And the network knows that the show is going to do what it's going to do irrespective of who they keep on it. As long as they have their gray, they're fine. I wasn't the same guy they had hired. So I had understood when I was let go. And Shonda was really great. She protected us fiercely. She protected us publicly. She protected us privately.

We interviewed her, and I thought she was a radical woman.

She's radical. I love Shonda Rimes, and she protected me, but I was probably fired. Okay. All right. It wasn't ceremoniously like, you're fired. It was just like- You're not coming back. You're not coming back.

Was there an inciting incident for the relapse? Because here's I think you and I are similar, which is it can almost be dangerous for us to shore up some safety and security. Because when you have that and that racket in your brain stops, I got to have a job, and I got to know what I'm doing next year, and I got to be financially situated. When those things are cleared up, I start thinking maybe there's room for a little dance, for a little play.

Well, I had also gotten sober when I was really young, and I think it was just post that writer's strike. And as a result, we had a short I think we did 18 episodes instead of 24. I had a lot of time on my hands in the offseason. I remember turning to Rebecca and saying, I'm going to smoke a joint. And if the wheels ever come off this thing, I'll just go back to AA. I love AA.

Yeah, exactly. It's a great place. I don't even know why I'm going to leave it.

I'm not quite sure as I tell you this, why I would choose to leave it. Oh my God. I smoked that joint, and in the nine years I had been sober, weed had changed. I had gotten I was so stoned, I could only answer any question with yes or no. Whatever the question was, it was yes or no, because that's all I could muster. Then after that, I was like, Well, it's not for me. But maybe wine. Instead of going like, Okay, dude, you're a drug addict and an alcoholic, and you need to be sober, I was like, maybe I just did the wrong thing. Yeah.

I've never tried to drink, not to get drunk, but to enjoy the taste of this.

I did for a little bit.

You and I also, I'm going to add one more thing. We're similar in our addiction, I think, from my assessment you. I have friends where if they go out, they're going to be in the hospital for a few days. Sure. So there's this misleading level of control. It's an Achilles.

Absolutely. I can make it look good for a while, and it always catches up with me. But For a while, I can make it look like I'm fine.

Yeah, I'm a control freak, and I can make it work. It's not a lie to myself. As much as a reality, I choose not to even question is like, well, how will I feel when I'm pulling it off? In quotes. Well, Will I feel good? And I will not feel good. I feel morally bankrupt.

Eventually. But in the beginning, I feel good.

It works for a little bit. I don't want to say I wish I had the other version because I don't want any other version. But I do think if I paid a little harsher consequences, probably the ride would have been different.

I'm going to agree with you on that, but I'm also going to push back gently. Regardless of the consequences, I think the feelings are probably very similar. Some people just need to go further down the ladder to experience those feelings.

That's a good point. But we all know people, we've gotten sober with people where it's like, they smoke that joint and then they're on Skid row shooting dope in 72 hours.

For sure. They're in a hotel downtown smoking crack.

Yes, that's just not how it happens for me.

It's not how I do it either. Which you're right, is misleading. It is.

It is, but you're also probably not pulling it off as well as you think.

There are people who see, and they're keeping their mouth shut or they're not, but they see. I don't disagree with you, Monica. Okay, Monica. You're right.

Had to say it. You know what's funny is I've seen this over the years, 20 years in AA. People become friends, and they'll actually go like, I wish we partied together. I have so much gratitude that you and I have never partied together. I know. I want you to see me in a way that would break my heart that I had been that way around.

I agree.

In that hour 60 of something where you're just a monster, you're a goual.

You're just combining things that aren't supposed to be combined. You're like, Where can I go with Okay, this is so much fun.

After Grays, you do Last Ship for five seasons, and you're the straight-up star of that show. I'm going to immediately parallel it with euphoria because I'm curious, what is your preference to be on Grays as not the lead person or the lead of something, or in euphoria, you're supporting... Do you have a preference?

I don't feel differently in any role.

Yeah, I buy that.

I just feel like I'm me.

You go scene to scene to scene.

Yeah, it's the role. If I'm the lead, I don't feel I'm the lead.

You don't feel any pressure?

No. And if I'm number 12 on the call sheet, I don't feel that way either.

That's great. Okay, so euphoria. Now, this is my first time really watching you act. I was so happy. I couldn't explain to you. I'd known you for years.

God, you're the only one happy watching that show.

I watched you and I was like, oh my God, Eric is fucking insanely gifted. He's great at this. No, right, too. But I just felt so proud of how great you are.

Wow, thanks.

That's a wild, wild character.

Wild character. In between the last ship and euphoria, I had taken a year off to course-correct and write the ship personally and professionally. I met with my representatives and I said, Okay, ultimately, I'm the one who makes the decisions, but I think we've been going about this all wrong. I never felt like the guy in the towel, and I never felt like the captain of the ship. I felt like I was this character actor You're stuck in this leading man's body, and I wanted to do something that I felt could challenge me and provide me maybe with some growth as a result of the challenge. And my agent said, he represents Zendaya, too. And he said, I'm negotiating this deal for Zdeya for the show Euphoria. Do you want to meet with Sam Lebson? What a great role for me to pivot off of what I've been.

Sky's the limit once you do a role like that.

I've gotten some pretty great opportunities as a result. Yeah.

I think about this all the time. I'm friends with Dinafrio, and I think of the gift he received by coming out in full metal jacket. It's like for the rest of time, we all know that motherfucker can do shit. For sure. No one's ever going to be fearful to throw something his way that he's not going to deliver. And it's permanent.

Yeah, He created something that was absolutely memorable and timeless and will transcend.

It's so different from who he is. That's settled now. Dinafrio is a bad motherfucker. And for me, euphoria for you is like, oh, yeah, we can throw anything at this dude.

Thank you, brother.

Did you have any vanity in being that fucked up and twisted?

I don't think you can. I had to let go of any idea of looking good with that role.

Is that hard?

It's hard after the fact. When you're doing it, you're like, this is great. You're performing, you're acting, you're lost in the role and the circumstances. I think after the fact, you're like, oh, I did that? But I love that character, and I never judge that character. I don't think I could play that character if I pass judgment on him. He may not be everybody else's favorite, but he's certainly mine. Yeah.

Had Hunter been in things before?

I don't think so. No, I think that was her first film.

I know she's so good.

Unreal. Oh, this was a curiosity. When your agent goes, Hey, I'm negotiating this thing with Zendaya, at that time, she's coming off at Disney.

She had done a couple of things, like Greatest Showman.

Okay, but the shows are like fucking swing for the fences and beyond. I wonder, are you the type that looks at a project and assesses what you think the outcome will be? What I'm guessing is that it was pretty high risk at a moment.

It was high risk. The givens were. The writing was tremendous. The story was great. The scope of the vision was massive.

It's the most beautifully shot show ever on television.

And articulated. Sam had a very clear idea of what he wanted.

Were you a fan of Barry Levinston movies as a kid?

Love Barry Levinston movies. The Natural is one of my favorite movies of all time. Did you ever see Dino? Oh, absolutely.

Fuck, Mickey Rourke in that movie. How do I become this guy? Right. Okay, so when that comes out and it ends up being what it is now, I don't know, the biggest show on TV.

It's the second biggest show HBO has ever had.

And they had Game of Thrones.

I think we get 20 million plus viewers a week.

That is so bonkers. How does this success differ or how is it similar to the Grey's success?

So Grey's, I was out front a little bit more. This, the younger cast, are the ones that get all the exposure, and I'm okay with that. I enjoy Be my position on that show.

Yeah, come do great work and then not be in the gossip. For sure. Okay, let's get to... This might be the thing I'm most jealous, but I didn't know about the Grand National. I love Bad Boys in a way. You're not going to find a guy who likes Bad Boys more than me. I also just love Michael Bay directing. Fucking love it. Probably watched Bad Boys 10 times before I did Chips. Why is the action so good? What are the tricks? What's happening in these car chases? Why is the shit so good?

Mike, he puts together action probably better than anybody.

Agreed. There's all the spectacle, but he has an intuitive pacing where he pauses things and he lets you regroup and he adds some comedy here and there. He's got a fingerprint of action that's so goddamn intoxicated.

He directed the first two, and the third one and this one are directed by two guys named Adil and Balal. Bayes in the movie.

He's acting in the movie.

He's acting in the movie. He was in the third one, too. I think he officiates the wedding or something. But these guys, Adil and Balal, are also very adept.

Did they come from the Michael Bay world?

They didn't come from the Michael Bay world. Adil and Balal directed a movie that I watched before I met with them called Black. They're from Brussels. Oh, wonderful. They direct action as adeptly as Mike does, and they get story really well, and they understand the tone, and they understand the comedic breaks, and the space in between that. They know how to fill it, and it's very connected at all tracks. And it's a Jerry Bruckheimer film.

How stoked are you to be in that movie?

Very stoked. You must be. Very, very stoked.

I mean, we watched Bad Boys. Again, it's like me getting to be on Saved by the Bell.

Or dating Alyssa Milano.

Yeah, I mean, you really.

You checked on Milano box.

I don't know what's left.

I checked off some boxes.

I'm nervous for you. They're going to have to make another Godfather. And you're the bad guy.

Yes, I am the antagonist in this piece.

Because we grew up on a very... It was invented by Shane Black. There's a version of action-comedy, maybe with Lethal Weapon and then in to Die Hard. It created a whole genre of action. We could probably go before that and say Beverly Hills' Cop.

Or Friedkin with...

You're right. I've got no leg to stand on with this argument. No, I'm just saying. French Connection.

That chase was pretty good.

But not a lot of comedy. Very no. Yeah, pretty serious. The bad guys in those movies when we were growing up, think about Bussi and fucking Lethal Weapon. He's almost as memorable as Mel Gibson in that movie. Yes. So terrifying. And then fucking Rickman in Die Hard?

Alan Rickman in Die Hard is a memorable.

It's a master class in Bad Guiery.

Masterclass in Bad Guiery. But this was a fun Bad guy. Will, to his credit, fundamentally understood that the worse I was and the stronger my role was, the better it made him look in the end-When he kills me.when he kills me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He didn't have an ego about it, so he kept augmenting this role.

Making it better and better. Yes. Oh, man, what a joy. Were you around him a bunch? I was. Is he as dreamy as I've imagined him to be? He is.

He's an extraordinarily affable, approachable, open guy who is an absolute professional. I mean, you look at him and you're like, That dude works hard.

He made this all happen. No one knocked on his door.

He makes it better.

How few people can go from Fresh Prince to Bad Boys?

He's super talented.

We're just now informing people. They didn't know.

Yeah, Will Smith is a talented guy. We had to do some stunt training where we were rolling around together. I got familiar with Will before we actually got on set.

He's a big gentleman, too, right?

He is a unit. I had to move him around a little bit, and it's not easy. Strong gentleman. Very strong.

Intimidated. Very successful. Rich. Super successful.

Academy Award.

Aging like fine wine. I'm so pumped that you're in that. Then yesterday, I watched One Fast Move. They did not give me a screener for Bad Boys, so I've only watched the trailer, so I can't speak with any authority on that. But the trailer looks spectacular, and I can't wait to see it. It's fun. One Fast Move, you're back to playing a shithead. A little bit of shithead. This is a movie about you knocked a woman up 20 plus years ago. You didn't want anything to do with the outcome of that. This young guy who's a little lost in life in a bit of an outlaw comes home, and ostensibly, he's going to go say hi to his dad, and you raced motorcycles. I can't believe I didn't get hired for this.

It was so much fun. Yeah.

So he wants you to teach him to race. Obviously, he wants you to be in his life. But this is this weird bridge where you guys can spend time together in a way that's not too scary for you as the shithead dad.

It's like a father-son story, right? In the world of Superbikes. We race motorcycles and we heel, and it's classic.

Yeah, you were at a track nonstop for this movie, right?

Oh, yeah. I did some of the riding.

Were you at Road Atlanta at all?

We were at the Atlanta Motor Speedway, and we were at another track about an hour outside of town.

Now, as the listener will remember, I once went and got a motorcycle for you, the Hypermotard. You But then you said goodbye to riding.

When I had kids, I sold my motorcycles.

Yeah, so responsible of you.

Well, I was also influenced by my wife. Maybe it's time to get rid of the motorcycles. I didn't push back at all. I was like, okay.

That was an adult of you, mature. I'm going to a track day next weekend.

Have you seen Keanu's bikes? The Arch Motorcycle? Oh, my God, those are so cool.

They're gorgeous. He's often at the track days I go to. He's so serious about it.

That's his life. He loves motorcycles.

Famously bought the whole stunt crew on Matrix Harleys.

Not surprised. Super generous this guy. Totally.

Being back around the bikes, did it inflare anything?

Oh, I wanted to buy one. I wanted to go home with one. Of course. I was riding this R6 that was just juice to the gills. It was so much fun when they were like, Hey, we got to get you from start to 100 yards down the track. I'm like, 600 yards down the track and not stopping. And this bike is at 110 miles an hour.

It's the last drug left for me. That's still no hangover. Are you on a bike?

Constantly. Do you just ride at tracks, though?

I ride around town, and then I try to do track days as often as I can. The appeal of it to me is being present.

A hundred %.

But you didn't come home with a bike.

I didn't come home with a bike. Kj came home with a bike.

Okay, that's your co-star? Yeah, he bought a Ducati. A Ducati. A Ducati. Sweet kid?

Very sweet kid.

Is it trippy to be... This job makes you confront your age regularly.

I've been getting roles for a while now as the father. I'm getting to an age where, as Clooney said, people no longer want to see me kiss the girl.

Well, I don't think you're there yet. You're not there yet. You're right.

I'm not there yet.

He's not there yet. I don't know that he'll ever be there.

Paul Newman, till the very end, you're like, Lay one on her.

Paul. Oh, my God, dude.

Did you see that doc by chance?

Which one?

The Joanne Woodward Paul Newman doc that Ethan Hawk made. It's incredible. It's like six parts or something. It made me rebuy into the fantasy.

Paul Newman? Yeah. My favorite. I met Paul Newman once. Where? I went to this opening of this show he'd done for HBO called Empire Falls. It was one of the last projects he had done. And I went to this thing at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, and the party was going to be in the Egyptian Room after. I was stoked to go to this thing because all I wanted to do was meet Paul Newman, my hero. And towards the end of the movie, I knew he was already in the Egyptian Room. Nobody was in there yet. So I left and I went into the Egyptian Room and I had all these great things I wanted to say to Paul Newman. Yeah, yeah. And he was speaking to either Chris Albrecht or Colin Callender, whoever was running HBO at the time. I went up to them. I mustered the courage and I waited for a break in the conversation, and I said, Excuse me, Mr. Newman. And then he started the conversation again with the other gentleman. Oh, boy. I said, Okay, maybe he didn't hear me. I waited for another break in the conversation. And now people are starting to file into the room.

Oh, no.

You're losing your opportunity.

Dude, I waited for another break in the conversation, and I said, Excuse me, Mr. Newman. And he started the conversation up with the other guy. And then a waiter came over and said, Another Sierra, Nevada, Mr. Newman? And he said, Oh, yeah, he didn't skip a beat. Oh, yeah, I'll take one. And I was like, This motherfucker's ignoring me.

I finally know.

So I finally, all the wind was out of my sails. I get in between them and I say, Excuse me, Mr. Newman. Oh my God, you really tripled down. I tripled down. He looked at me and he said, Yes. And I said, I just wanted to say hi. Ha ha. Okay? So it gets better. I'm walking away and I'm scratching my head like, What the fuck just happened? And Rebecca was talking to Robert Goulet, who was on stage at the time doing Nine. Rebecca says, Honey, this is Bob Goulet. And I said, Yeah, I know who you are. I'm still scratching my head like, What the fuck just happened? And he says, What's the matter, son? And I said, I met Paul Newman, and he ignored me for 10 minutes. Robert Goulet says, Ha, he ignored me for 30 years.

That was very nice. That was.

That was great.

Do you have one that went spectacularly, though?

No. You know, Don't Meet Your Heroes. That one didn't go south, though. That just wasn't like I had planned it.

It's a good story.

It's almost better than if he was nice, really. I have been around Bill Murray twice and have known better. I'm like, It's probably never going to happen, but if we're ever going to talk, I want it to be because somehow he has some interest in me. It's the only way I'm willing to do it because I just can't if it's that, which it would be, Mr. Murray, Bill?

Yeah.

Can I call you Bill?

Can I call you Mr. Murray or Bill? Yeah, he's the dude I've been around twice where I'm just like, There he is, but we're not going to get anywhere close.

There are a couple of guys like that. It's escaping me now, but there was somebody who I had seen who I just was so intimidated. I didn't want to go over and say hi. Yeah. All you're doing is saying hi. There's no commonality there. You're just going over to give them offerings.

It would be as if you were at a restaurant and a person three tables over just came over and said, Hi. You're like, What is happening? What is happening? Well, I'm saying if you're not famous, if you just think about Planet in the real world where you're at dinner and someone from three tables over just comes over and goes, Hi, you're like this is a con artist. They want something from me. And that's just people's reactions.

Well, no. Famous people know what's happening when random people come up. Whether you're also in the business or not, they know what's happening.

Yeah, but it is a conversation with a stranger, and there was nothing to even Sure. There's not even a meet queue. It's not like you spilled something, right?

It's not even like you ordered the same dish where you're like, How is the chicken parmed?

Yeah, or I'm thinking about getting it. Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert. If You Dare. So you're on euphoria. That's going to go, obviously, until people want to not do it.

I don't know what's going to happen with that show. Now, I know Season 3 has been pushed to 2025.

Oh, here is a question I had about that show. When I'm watching it, it's a lot.

It's a little unsettling at times.

And what's weird, too, is I think people who are not addicts would assume that it interests you when it looks good. But weirdly, it interests me always when it looks bad.

Well, it always interests me.

Yeah, that, too.

Good, bad, indifferent.

The one I think of is leaving Las Vegas. For people, that's a horrific story. I'm like, the idea of going and finally declaring I'm going to drink myself to death, seems appealing.

But alcohol wasn't my thing.

Yeah, it didn't get you there. Wasn't enough. No, I didn't.

It wasn't enough. No, it just had never appealed to me.

It's a lot when you're an addict watching that show. I do wonder sometimes to be in the show, to be in the world, is it dicey at all? No. Probably feels even more alluring watching it than being inside of it.

The allure for me is like, Oh, I know what that feels like. Oh, that feels good. I don't want to do that anymore. It's got a beginning, a middle, and an end. I never saw this show as a love letter to drugs and alcohol. I always saw it as a cautionary tale.

The comp for it, I think, is Less than zero. When we were younger, we saw less than Zero, and Downey goes apeshit, and he's a drug addict. I watched that movie and I loved it, and I knew it was heightened and crazy. I think some people think the young people watching this aren't also in on it. This isn't looking appealing in normal life to them. I agree.

I think parents feel like if their teenager is going to watch it, it's going to influence them one way or the other. Right.

That wasn't really my experience watching our version of it, which was Less than Zero.

Some of it's scary. Terrifying. A lot of that has to do with the actor's portrayal of it. It's so real.

Oh, this last season when she's got the itch.

Everything she does is so true.

Just taking everyone down with her. Yeah. It was awful. That was hard to watch.

This was a tough year for that show to get it back on the and also outside of the show, a couple of things.

Well, that very heartbreaking. I mean, I just loved that character.

Angus. Angus. He was a sweet, kind, gentle soul. I truly loved Angus.

Yeah, it's really heartbreaking.

That was a tough one.

Yeah. What a beautiful performance. He hadn't acted either, right?

No. A lot of the cast.

It's really impressive.

Sometimes when you don't know any better, it's a gift. You're not trying to do anything. You're just saying the words and you understand the circumstances and you hit all the notes.

Okay, so euphoria's 2025. Bad Boys comes out June seventh. One Fast Move comes out August. What do you want to do? I think it's interesting to have done this now. For me, 20 plus year, you want to work at home.

I'm doing a show called Countdown for Amazon that shoots here.

You're already shooting it?

I start shooting in September.

Oh, good. So you'll be allowed to do a show in between whatever happens.

Yeah. And I'm just happy to be home. I want to be near my kids. I'm not like, put me out to pasture, but like Pitt said, he's like, I no longer like night shoots. I just want to be at home.

But you're doing to such spectacular work that I could imagine being still very hungry for it.

I am hungry for it. And I think without knowing specifically what I want to do when those opportunities present themselves, there's that attraction to the material that would make you want to invest. That's case by case.

You're great in one fast move. Let me also say that.Thank you.You're fucking spectacular. You have some hard scenes in your playing a shit head who's a drunk and a womanizer. Yeah, an unvanity role, again.

With those roles, you just have to lean into it. If I were to play a role like that and wonder how it was going to look or be perceived by the audience, then I don't think I could achieve the tone or the notes that I needed to hit to make those performances track. At the same time, you want people to like the guy. You want people to empathize with the guy. You got to love the character. You can't judge the and you just got to go for it.

Yeah. Well, Eric, this has been a really fun life experience for me to meet you, to have that beginning, and to come to adore you. When we'll have a long talk at your house, I leave and I'm like, I've learned something about myself. I feel that often when we talk.

It's funny because the beginning was rocky. I think you nailed it in the beginning. I think it's because we had so much in common. I love you.

I love you. I'm so glad you came and did this.Thank you.And thanks for being so open. Yeah, of course. I need to get back to your kitchen. It's been a little too long.

Sunday nights at 6:00.

Oh, baby, really? Oh, that's awesome.

I know you're probably family time on Sunday.

Generally family time, but also sometimes I can wiggle away. Then, of course, I got to see this Grand National, and we got to go cruising.

Let's go for a ride.

Everybody goes see Bad Boys. I'm sure they will. June seventh, I will be there. I will go see it live in a theater. It's the only way Bad Boys should ever be seen. Agreed. And then everyone, check out One Fast Move. You are once again great. I love you. Thanks for coming. Stay tuned for the fact check so you can hear all the facts that were wrong. We have a couple updates. On behalf of the Armcherries, they have corrected me. I'm not Year of the Rabbit. This is very- It's very disappointing. It's very disappointing. I've always thought I was Year of the Rabbit. My mom was Year of the Rabbit. I found out you were Year of the Rabbit. Yeah. Rabbits are great. They snuggle. They live in a hutch. I identified as a rabbit.

Yeah, you look like a big rabbit.

My mom calls us her rabbits. Yeah. Well, it turns out that the Chinese calendar starts in February, and so I did not make Year of the Rabbit, but now I've found out I'm Year of the Tiger. A tiger eats rabbits. No. He can't help it.

He's got to eat. No, he doesn't have to eat rabbits. He can eat grass.

No, they can't. They must meat. They can't live on grass. Dax.

Don't justify eating rabbits and me.

By the way, you can't even eat me.

What animal are you? I'm so fast. I'll scurry out of your cake.

You'll run left and right.

You can get me.

So, yeah, you're the tiger.

That's a horrible revelation.

It is. Although, I do like tiger.

Then I also found out there was a dragon, and I want to be that. Now that you pulled on the string just a little bit and everything Yeah, it's not rambling. Everything's rambling.

Yeah, that's right. There's more stuff. I did a lot of screen grabbing recently, and whenever I do that, I'm wondering if I'm ever going to be able to locate them all as I go through. But let's see what I did. Oh, this was just a really funny comment that deserves a shout out. Okay. Regarding being on your period around bears, did Monica Padman check to make sure that the administrator for bears. Org isn't a A bear.

Oh, my God.

Because a bear would definitely say they can't smell your period.

The bear is trying to lure? Yeah.

It's a really good- It's a great question. It's a great question and a great thought. And you should be suspicious of bears.

I did not look into that.

I've seen them ride a unicycle. If they can do that, they could definitely administer. Administrate? Administrate.

At a website? Mm-hmm.

They use Squarespace. Beautiful templates. Very easy. Okay, here's another one. What do we got? Oh, and I almost had to screen grab it because I would imagine this is the last thing you want me to do. Can we get a rundown on your workout split and food plan and a fact check, please? Some of us bros on Reddit are looking for funsies. All the caveats about what works for individuals applied. Look at the look on your face. I wish we had a photo. You're almost throwing up. Are you finding back some vomit? I feel like I've already said.

I just wonder how long it's going to take us all.

I bet I can do a 30-second rendition. I eat my... I try to eat my weight in grams of protein. That's the main eating.

You're going to see this. Now you're going to have to tell people what it is, though.

Oh, my weight's 200 pounds at night and 1.96 in the morning. Is that what you mean?

No, I just mean now you have to go through all the meals.

No, I don't. I eat 200 grams of protein.

You have to because now I'm putting myself in their shoes. They're I'm asking for what it is exactly. I'd be annoyed.

Well, it's the Good Culture cottage cheese. I've already said that's got 56 grams. I eat two cans of the chicken breasts from Costco in the can. That's in the '40s, '50s.

Do you put anything in the cottage cheese? Or you eat it plain?

I eat it with olive oil in it and pepper. And then I will also have a protein shake after. In the morning, I have an oatmeal with protein powder in it. And workout is six days a week lifting, and generally, hike twice a week as well. One six-mile hike, one three-mile hike. Okay. That's it. What lifting, though?

That wasn't laborious.

Always legs. Legs has to be a part of every single workout, always two leg exercises.

Okay. Reps of 10.

I will squat 140, 12 times, times four sets. I will deadlift about 240, 10 10 times four sets with 10 shoulder shrugs at the end. And then I will bench press two 70 pound dumbbells, four sets of 15. And then I will do pull-ups. I'm very into pull-ups now that my gym is set up. I do gym, I can do in pull-ups again. Oh, nice. I try to do four sets of 12. I'm trying to add to that, though. I do want to do four sets of 20. Then I never miss my buys. I'm crazy about my buy sets.

What do you do for them?

Well, I either do drop sets of pearls with the dumbbells. I start with 35s, then go to 30s, then 25s on down to 15. I only do that once a week because that really exhausts them. And then I do a curl bar the other time on a preacher. That wasn't terrible.

Yeah. Was it bad? It wasn't bad at all, but I don't think it was satisfying.

Yeah. I don't know that that'll answer any of the burning questions. What do you eat for dinner?

You forgot dinner.

Well, the chicken breasts in a can, generally, will be part of my dinner.

Do you put anything in that?

Yeah, I'll I either put it over salad lettuce or I'll do it with... What I've been really doing lately is I do the full can, and then I put some chunks of corn beef and pastrami on there, then some coleslaw, then some Greek dressing.

Okay. That's what they're looking for.

Okay.

I invented a salad.

Okay. Tell me. I just... Sorry.

Do you have more comments?

This one's about you, but let's hear about your salad first.

Okay. My salad I invented is arugula, celery. Because, okay, I learned recently from another podcast that there was an article about the increase in colon cancer for young people.

Okay, now you're on my alert. Fiber.

Now I'm really thinking about fiber a lot.

Thank you. I left that out. I always do a glass of Metamucil, too.

Okay, yeah. So I feel that I need to increase my fiber. I don't like fruits, and a lot of fruits have fiber. So I've just been a little stressed about the fiber situation. Yeah, sure. I got go great the other day, and then I put flax on it, and then I immediately had diarrhea.

Oh, wow. Congratulations.

Yeah, immediately.

Like within 10 minutes?

Within four minutes.

Oh, my God.

Yeah. Wow. It wasn't the satisfying time, though. It wasn't. I didn't feel good then the rest of the night. Oh, you didn't? Yeah, which was a bummer.

Yeah. You want that relief.

You want to just feel clean.

Mm-hmm. Fully, fully, in fact.

Yeah. Okay, but my salad... Also, I had my salad. Maybe it was the mix.

Maybe a little light listeria, too.

No, because I had the salad the day before and it was fine. Okay, the salad is arugula, celery, apple, parmesan cheese.

Go on.

Chives.

Chives. Yes.

Like a big potato. And rotisserie chicken. And then I put it all on a big wooden board, all the ingredients, and I just chop it into smithereens. So it's teeny tiny pieces.

It's a chopped salad.

But even choppier than a chop. Okay. And then I- It's a slaw. Yes. And then I made an apple cider vinegar dressing. It was apple cider vinegar, olive oil, Dijon mustard. Dijon's imperative. Salt. Shallet.

Nice. A couple of two hours to make this salad?

No, no. With the dressing? It wasn't too bad. And then I invented that.

Wonderful. You're starting to... You've been a student for a while of chefery, and now you're finally- Now it's starting to play. Yeah, Now you're starting to invent your own stuff.

Yeah, I'm starting with Salads.

Okay. Fact check about Monica's Wags. I thought this might be a relief to you. Okay. Fact check about Monica's Wags. Could it be the group was It's parents who have kids in school, and now school is out, so the group is taking a break for the summer. That would relieve you of your guilt that perhaps you disbanded the group.

Because they're just all on vacation now?

Well, no, just they were doing it while their kids were at school and they had free time, but now they have their kids.

Okay, I like that. Thank you. Generous. I don't think it's accurate because of the timing of those wags. The kids would have been there.

What time are these wags?

Remember, they were like six o'clock.

Six o'clock. Happy hour.

5:30, six o'clock.

Happy hour for sure.

And that's prime time for kids.

Yeah, you're right. They're definitely home from school by then, unless they're in aftercare.

But I like that theory. So you're about to go on a trip. Yes. How many chips are you going to pack?

I think that's the thing of the past for me. I've broken that connection. Wow. Yeah. That's disappointing for you, isn't it? I can feel that you're You're in judgment.

I'm not judging.

You're in disappointment.

I'm sad. Yeah. You take that as judgment, but it's not. Yeah.

It's just sadness for me.

Or it's like, I don't know you anymore.

Yeah, sure. Do you ever think about this? Why be alive? Is that what you're circling?

Kind of. I mean, this is ding, ding, ding to what you were saying about your food, your food routine, which sounds awful to you. Well, it doesn't sound awful. First of all, I know you like routine, and so that's good, right? You We have a routine.

Creature of habit.

But we love stuff. We love pizza, and we love burgers.

Well, I got Emmy Burger last night. Just got it lettuce wrapped.

You got it last night?

Yeah, you can fucking order it from the Santa Monica location. They deliver all the way out here. Isn't that insane? They do? Yeah, it's the only restaurant I know that's in Santa Monica that will deliver it here. Holy shit. Yeah, I've ordered it three times now. Still good by the time it gets here? Yeah, it's obviously been traveling for 70 minutes, which is a bummer. But I got My brother, the Detroit-style pizza. He was mad for it. I got three burgers, and it was delish.

Okay.

Yeah, you should do it. I will. But yeah, why be alive? Well, a little. You know what all it is.

No room for indulgence.

There are indulgence still, occasionally. But I can explain it to you in a way that you're going to totally understand it, which is you just change the timeline of your pursuit of happiness. So it's like if I zoom out from the next hour and a half where I'm going to enjoy that thing, and I think more like, how much will my general enjoyment be of the next two days if I don't eat that? It's higher. I feel better when I eat the way I eat, which is not very fun, but I just feel better. And I'm generally happier at all. The other times I'm not eating that fun meal. So it's just a change of the timeline.

I get that. I guess. You know? Yeah. Kind of. Kind of. Because I mean, I guess it depends on what the food is doing, right? Because I love sharing meals with people and trying new stuff and having this be like, oh, the best thing or whatever. Yeah. That going away would be a huge loss of joy.

But you're a little different than me. There's two things. One is the people around me, I order everything they want, So people are eating pizza around me when I ordered last night, and I'm eating a lettuce wrap burger. But A, I like the lettuce rat burger, and B, they're all having the same thing, and I'm still having the same communal thing. I'm still participating in the community experience of eating. And then secondly, if you view it as I'm deducting happiness, and then that's a loss that doesn't get filled with something different, then it appears to be a net loss. But I'm the type of person that I crave joy and happiness and spikes and whatnot. And so all that happens is if I'm not going to get that from a meal, then I'm going to get it from something else. And then I end up filling that slot with some other activity that I like. My baseline happiness stays the same, or I would even argue goes up. But it's like, yeah, it's not about me getting off work and having some meal I've been dreaming of all day. It's I'm going to go sit in the sauna and then do a cycle, and I'll feel awesome from that.

Yeah.

Tough sell.

Everyone's different. Everyone gets to decide.

How often do you factor in When we're having differences of opinions, how regularly do you confront the fact that I am 13 years older?

You're 12 years older than me. I factor in that you try to exaggerate.

You're right, 75 to 87. 12 and a half years older than you, you're August. Do you think about that ever? No. You're going to behave, believe it or not, much different in twelve and a half years than you do today. That's probably right. Your body will be more sensitive. Things that don't bother you will start bothering you. And a lot of this stuff is just like, age of life.

Yeah, that's probably true. Yeah.

It's not a departure from the shared hard interest as much as... Some of it's just getting older. Even the way you sleep, right? I could definitely relate to that when I was 34.

What do you mean?

I could sleep in. I could sleep till 10:00 in the morning. I didn't wake up to pee all night.

I do wake up to pee many times.

Okay, but sometimes I live on a much different schedule than you do, but not when I was your age. I had a very similar schedule to you. I get up at seven 6:40 every morning. That's crazy to you, right?

It's not crazy. I don't think that's age, actually. I know a lot of people who are early risers. They wake up early. Yes, I'm not.

I wasn't either.

But my mom is not. She can wake up at 11:00.

Same with my mom, for sure. But I do know it's very common among my friends that are my age. One of the most common things people say as they get older is it's harder to sleep longer. And you notice older people start getting up earlier and fucking earlier. Like, seniors are getting up at 4:30 AM. Something weird happens with the circadian rhythm.

Yeah, maybe. I chalk when I sleep in up to... I don't sleep well at all. And I also don't fall asleep until late. Even if I'm in bed at 9:00, the actual sleep doesn't start until 3:00 AM. Right. And so there's a reason I need to keep going It's to make up for those hours lost.

Yeah. And I'm just saying when I was 36, my schedule much more resembled yours than it does my current schedule. And then over time, I can fall asleep earlier. I wouldn't have expected that. I was like, I'm never going to be the type of person that goes to bed before midnight. I just never do.

Like fall asleep before midnight?

Yeah. And now I do.

I try.

Yeah. I used to try, too. It's not working. But I got to get a burst energy at night laying in bed.

Yeah. Yeah. Anyway.

Anywho.

I guess we're different.

Well, I'm just saying that you might think that we're more parallel, or just you're twelve and a half years younger. I might be talking to you in twelve and a half years, and you're like, Yeah, here's what I eat. I eat a can of tuna fish at 11:15. It could happen.

Also, I'm not saying I don't eat well, but when I'm doing it, right now, I've been on a kick of eating pretty well. I had this moment that I was like, this is not as an enjoyable of a life. I really had that thought.

That's how I am with caffeine. I've quit caffeine. There are some benefits to it. And then I go, I don't enjoy life on planet Earth as much without it.

Yeah. There are benefits. There are benefits I see. There are benefits I feel. With all of that, I still think- Who cares? I don't think this is correct, actually, what I'm doing. So anyway, I just feel like such It's a weird summer. Okay. It's going to be a weird summer. I don't know what to eat this summer.

Oh, you don't know when to disconnect from this. Is it at all? Is it hard to figure out because you don't have a specific game plan And you don't weigh yourself and you're not sure what you're doing. Is it because of that?

No. What do you mean? My summer?

Yeah, you don't know what you're going to- I was just kidding.

I'm excited about the summer. Okay.

But you don't know what you're going to eat this summer.

I'm I'm kidding because I was just saying I'm eating well, so I feel like I should keep that up. I should keep considering how much fiber I'm eating and protein and vegetables and beets. I'm sorry. I've started to eat beets even though I hate beets.

Yeah, they're disgusting.

They are disgusting.

It tastes like dirt.

Yeah, you're eating dirt patties, but they're healthy.

But they're bloody dirt patties.

And so I've been trying to eat them, force feed them.

Have you experienced your palate changing at all? Because That's another thing I'll add. When I first started having lettuce wrap burgers, I missed the bun terribly. I'm like, why even eat this? I don't feel that way at all. I don't feel like I'm making a concession to get lettuce wrap anymore.

No, I know. But again-I still look forward to it. Who am I if I don't Who am I if I don't want a cookie? If it's there and I'm like, eeu, that delicious-looking cookie, my mouth doesn't want that anymore.

Is it possible that some of this is reflective of how sturdy our sense of identity is? If we have differing sturdinesses of identity.

You think your identity is much sturdier than mine?

I don't think anything about me eating or anything. That won't even ever funnel into my identity. I'm not someone who eats cookies or not.

I don't know if it's sturdiness, but I think we have- If I became vegetarian, that would affect my identity.

But short of that, none of it affects my identity.

You were a vegan.

I was. And I was like, now I'm a vegan.

I think we both have sturdiness and shakiness in our identities, but I don't think they're in the same spaces.

Okay, great.

I'll settle for that. I'll say, I don't know. We just interviewed someone who you could relate to. And I thought this identity of I'm so tough. I want to get near the action. I'm not scared. I'm fearless.

That's always for you, though. That's not a new one.

No, but I found myself feeling very judgmental of it today.

Sure.

Because you're going to risk your kids for that. I find that appalling. I've seen. I mean, it's also not I think sometimes you think I don't get it because it's- No, I think you grew up all around it. All around it, which is why I think I can see it clearly, because I'm just like, Guys, come on.

Yeah. And And I see exactly why you feel that way, and it makes total sense to me because you're only seeing the risk side of it, and it's not worth the risk. What I don't think you're seeing is if you're the type of person where all of your favorite memories from life have involved that stuff, then it's important to you. And it's your favorite parts of having been alive. These times that you were a little risky and you did this unique thing. Now, you don't a lot of joy out of that. So the equation for you is very simple and it doesn't make sense. But for me, if Erin and I are sitting around talking, it's all about the times. That's what we enjoy in life.

I know. But to me, it feels that's because tame stuff wasn't cool. But that's a problematic. Tame stuff can be cool. You've also, that's not true. You said something you like just laying in a field with him.

Oh, yeah. But we got to be in... We're on a motorcycle for two days, and then we're in some crazy field, and most people don't end up in this field.

I think that's also you and Aaron, specifically, that's a trauma thing, or it can be connected to a trauma thing. But I'm just saying this is a thing culturally in parts of this country, one that I did grow up around a lot. And I don't...

I'm just- I know what you're saying, but I hope I I don't judge the people that are in your camp, which I know many of them. I don't go, your life's so fucking boring. Big deal. You played it safe. I'm still here. You're still here. I'm alive. I didn't die. And your life has been boring as hell, and you never took any risks. I could feel superior because I think you have had a boring, fearful, cowardly life and that you didn't jump off the waterfall. I I don't feel that way.

You might because...

I don't. I'm not listening to someone who plays it safe all the time and thinking, you're a coward and you're a victim of your fears. So I think in the best case, it's more just, yeah, there's a bunch of different people on planet Earth, and I don't think there's better or worse or... You know?

I don't think there's better and worse people. I think- One's more reckless, for sure.

Yeah.

I think putting your kid in danger for that identity, for any identity, even for a tame identity, for a fearful identity. If you put your kid in danger for that, I think that's when identity and ego are a problem. The identity of this family is that we're this. And so you are We're doing this.

I think it's problematic.

Personally, I do.

I don't push Delta to be a risk taker because it's not in her. That's not who she is.

Yeah. Anyway. Okay. So this is for Eric Dane, your friend.

Oh, my friend Eric Dane. Yes.

There's a clip of him on Saved by the Bell.

Oh, there is? Mm-hmm. Oh, they're out behind the beach bit playing volleyball.

So this is the great I've been hearing about.

Oh, you're right. It's where they work in the summer. Yeah, we're going to win by 10 TDs. Oh, that makes me feel much better.

Stacey, don't worry about it.

We have it under control. I pity the team that has to play us.

Oh, Oh. Oh, no.

The Bozo brothers are back.

Hey, Stacey, what are you doing here? You told me you were moving to Africa.

We're at the dying end.

She recovered.

It was a miracle. Okay?

Bye.

Hey, Stacy. Leah Remn Are you going to introduce us to your boyfriend? He's not my boyfriend. Yet.

These amoebas are Ted and Ted Polk.

They're so California.

I believe for North Beach.

Oh, meet the team that's going to cream you guys.

Really? Do you want to get a few or what? Us against you guys. You're kidding. Okay.

Okay.

Give you a little taste of what you're up against.

Okay. Remember our strategy? What? Yeah.

Do it. Do it. It's two on ten. Is that what they're playing?

I got it.

I got it. I got it. Oh, Are you okay? I'm fine, Kelly. Football's a tough game.

Oh, and he got knocked right out.

That's it.

Neither of those gentlemen- Oh, here he is again.

Hey, babe, want to do yourself a favor and go out with me?

That's him. Oh, that's him. Yeah.

That was him and the other. But I'm relacing all my tennis shoes tonight.

Oh, he's a young kid.

He's just so young. It barely looks like him.

It does. He's really a young kid. Yeah. He's been doing this for a long time. I know. He has.

That was 1991.

It's funny. I don't put Leah Remne. I know Leah Remne, but I don't put her on that show.

She wasn't a regular.

She She was working at the Beach Club?

Yeah, in the summer. Okay. I think she dated Zack.

Did you watch the show?

Yeah, I loved it.

Were you a Slater or Zack? Zack. Yeah.

I mean, I liked both of them, but- Yeah, they were gorgeous.

I liked Zack. Very good physiques.

Okay. Euphoria was Hunter Schafer's first role.

Okay.

Which is very cool. Incredible. She's so good in it. All right. The topmost watched HBO shows.

Here we go.

Game of Thrones number one, Euphoria number two, which we said.

Does it give numbers or just a one through 10 list?

It's just a one through 10 list. Okay. The Sopranos number three, The Wire number four, Succession number Five, Charenoble number Six.

Wow. We're a sexual city.

Big Little Lies, seven, Band of Brothers, eight, True Detective, nine. That's including All of them, though. 10 Westworld, 11 Veep. I'm not seeing sex in this city.

A sexual city.

Which is weird.

Is it possible it's not on... Is it on the app if you go there? I'm embarrassed. It is. It is. Okay, so it's not that they don't own it. Yeah. Okay. It's just too specific to one gender. Perhaps. No real overlap. Yeah. Don't know a lot of guys that watch it. But it's not like Sopranos.

I I think women watch that. Yeah, but it would definitely lean male. Yeah.

Yeah, I sure loved it. And Band of Brothers, same thing.

Right. Definitely Band of Brothers.

Dude Central, yeah.

Yeah. Anyway.

Okay. But for euphoria to be There are two on that list is very impressive. It is. Because it's a big swing. It is.

It's so good. Okay. Also, because he's playing the villain in the new movie, the top villains of all time movie villains, according to empireonline. Com, is: D arth Vader, the Joker, Heath Ledger's Joker, Loki, Hans Gruber, Diehar.

What? Who's Hans Diehard. Diehard. Oh, yes. That might be Alan Rickman? Yep. Yeah.

Oh, wow. He looks so young. Yeah. Whoa.

Yeah. He was a great bad guy. I think it might even brought him up in the Dane interview.

Hannibal Lector.

Hans Landa, Inglorious Bastard.

So good. Yeah. So, so good. Walsh.

Christopher Walsh.

Christoff Walsh.

Christoff Walsh.

Kylo Ren from Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Adam Driver.

That's Adam Driver? Yeah, I'm pretty sure.

Okay. 8. Anton Chig... I don't know how to say the last name, Anton, but it's from No Country for Old Men. Oh. Okay. 9 is Baltimore.

Sorry, he wasn't higher.

It's okay. Also Alan Rickman? No. Ray Fines. Ray Fines. Ten is The Alien from Alien. Okay. Six Film Collection. And then Golem. Rob, you love Golem.

Calvin loves Golem, too.

And 12, Sauron, also from Lord of the Rings. Lord of the Rings. Sauron?

Sauron. Okay.

And then Nurse Ratchid from One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Mass.

Yeah, good one. That was a great series, too, when Murphy did that. I wish there were a second season of that.

Yeah, that was really good.

In front of the pod, Vincent Dnafrio was on it.

Oh, yeah, he was. Okay, the Sheriff of Nottingham from Robin hood, Prince of Thiefs. Then Palpatine, also from Star Wars. Norman Bates from Psycho.

He should be higher. I think this is because of the age. I bet this list was constructed in the '90s. It would have been Norman Bates, Freddy Kruger. Jason. Jason.

They're cheesy. I like the ones they're picking. They feel more scary. More dimensional. Agent Smith from The Matrix.

Oh, your men are already dead. Scary.

Freddy Kruger. Nightwear on L.

Oh, he made it? Okay. That was a popular Halloween costume when I was a kid. My brother made- Freddy Kruger. Really good fake hand.

There's two hands. There's Freddy Kruger and then Edward Scissorhands. Right.

Both with knives on their fingers.

I guess it's a trope.

That's a great movie, Edward Scissorhands.

Johnny Depp. T. 1,000 from Terminator 2: Judgment Day.

That one's tricky because he becomes the friend, or does he become the friend in three?

I understand.

He comes back to save the boy at some point.

And then Michael Myers from Halloween. These are top 20. But if I were picking, I would include the guy from Seven. Kevin Spacey from Seven. Verbal something.

Incredible villain. His name is like Verbal Kint or something weird.

The other day, I had a box.

John Doe has the upper hand. Yeah.

The other day, I had a box arrive, and it was perfectly square cube, and it said fragile all over it, and it looked exactly like her head box.

The head in the box. I thought this was going another way. I thought you were going to say, I had a box arrive the other day, and I really wish I had Edward scissor hands so you could cut it open.

Oh, wow. Well, yeah. Oh, God. I wonder if I should do scissors on one finger instead of a...

Your urine or whatever? Yeah.

I don't know if you're allowed to replace a fluid with scissors.

It seems like a stretch. Did you find it, Rob? It says John Doe by Kevin Spacey, right? Okay. Yeah.

So scary.

John Doe.

I'm going to rewatch that.

I want to, too. I wonder where my kids are going to be old enough to watch that stuff. Because then I've got 150 movies to show them.

That one is haunting. They need to be old enough to be able to have nightmares about that for a long time.

Some cycle pathy. Yeah. Did you like the game? I loved the game, too, so much. Was that with Michael Douglas, early Fincher.

Yeah, I think we watched it. Sean Penn.

I made you watch it. I think the three- It brought up one of your great fears of being in a car that gets submerged in a body of water and you can't get out.

Yeah, that's scary. I don't remember that from the movie, but I don't like the idea of that.

He's in the back of a cab, and the guy jumps it into the river, and then he finds in his jacket, he has been given a handle to undo the window earlier, but you didn't know what it was.

Oh, right.

Oh, I love that movie. It had me. That one had me up to the very end. I'm like, what is happening? Is it a game or is it not a game? Is it a game? Is it not a game?

Fincher's so good.

Oh, sure is.

Not a friend of the pod, but a friend of the neighborhood.

I know. I feel like he should, given his proximity to us, stop in.

Yeah, well, Eric was lovely. Yeah, that was a peel day for me. That was one of the peels. Kevin Costner was the other peel person for those keeping track.

Same day. A lot of handsome in one day.

Yeah, and a lot of skin.

You were insecure about your peel, and then I was like, I'll just never be as handsome as these guys. But luckily, I love Eric so much that I can handle that he's handsome. He was very nice. Yeah, he's a sweetie pie. To wrap up my life, my brother was here for a lovely visit, and we had just a glorious time chatting a ton.

That's nice.

Yeah, it was really lovely. It was a great visit. I wish that update had more twists and turns in it. Then he punched me. Then we hugged. We've never felt closer.

That's nice.

That's sweet.

Did you cut his hair or anything?

I didn't cut his hair. He's never asked me to, interestingly, because I cut hair, and a lot of people do ask me to cut their hair.

It's been a minute since anyone's asked you, though. You started acting like it was a burden.

And I did come to see it as a burden. Okay.

So I think you underestimate that people don't want to upset you.

No. Well, I do. I don't even think about that. But here's my bad habit. I love giving someone one haircut, but then I don't want to be their barber. I cut my mother-in-law's hair once, and she loved it, and she told me she got a lot of compliments. And then so the obvious thing would be like, well, every time she visits, I should cut her hair. But I don't want to cut her hair every time she visits. Why? I don't know. I like cutting hair once.

Well, that's bad because that means you just want to do it so you can prove it so that they could be like, Oh, my God, Dax is really good at this. It's not really about the joy of the person experiencing their hair.

It's not that, but it's not far from that. So with my mother-in-law, I was looking at her hair and I was like, I know what haircut she should have. Okay. I'm going to give it to her. And I did. She got a lot of compliments. So I thought, great. She can now tell her barber to do that. But she didn't, I don't think. Maybe she should have taken pictures of it.

Maybe she was like, I'll just...

Now I can't even remember what cut I gave her, to be honest. Wow. Rob, do you want me to cut your hair? Sure. I'll do it once. He'll only do it one time.

Don't get too attached. I'll get you hooked.

The most I've cut someone's hair, I have cut Scottie's hair over 100 times. And my friend Tim Lovestead's probably about 30 times. Oh. Yeah, this is in the 10 years, I was broke, and they- And they paid you? No, they would order pizza or buy beer. I never accepted any money for it.

Both things you don't consume anymore.

Yeah, right. So what's the point? But Scott was fully dependent on me as his personal barber. And even when he moved back to Michigan, one of the big issues he has, I don't know who's going to cut my hair. We had that relationship with your best barber.

It's hard. It's really hard when someone you count on It lets you down.

Desserts you. But in this case, luckily, he desserted me. He moved. I would have kept cutting his hair forever. I cut my own hair nonstop, so I got to have scissors close.

And again, Edward Scissorhands.

Yes. It's all right. Yes. Ding, ding, ding. Freddy Kruger. They should have one funny scene where Freddy Kruger- Was cutting his hair. He went to kill them, and then he missed. He looked in the mirror. And then she looked in the mirror and she was like, Oh, my God, I love this. And then, Slit. He accidentally cut her hair, but she caught her reflection in the mirror, and she was like, Oh, my God, I love this cut. And then, Slit. Then it'd be over. That's good. Yeah, we could have worked that joke in.

Okay. All right.

Love you.

Love you.