I'm David Faria, a New Zealander accidentally marooned in America, and I want to figure out what makes this country tick.

One thing I love about America is that it really loves celebrating different days of the week.

It finds all kinds of excuses to do this, mostly focused around food because America loves eating. And so there's Ice Cream Day on July 21st, Burger Day on May 28th, and Pie Day on January 23rd. Not to be confused with Pie the Number Day, which is on March 14th. Woohoo.

National pie day. We're excited to celebrate with the New York staple. Pie is like the perfect dessert.

It is.

And so while I'm months late, it's today that we turn to Pie Day, the food, not the number. I went to nationaldaycalendar. Com to find out more about pie day, where it told me the first Pi was created around 9,500 BC during the Egyptian Neolithic period. Over 10,000 years later, in 1986, a America decided it loved pies so much, it declared January 23rd National Pi Day. The day was created by the American Pie Council, because of course, that's a thing. And America has been celebrating it ever since, because America loves pie. Over $2 billion worth of pies are sold in American grocery stores every year. And according to the American Pie Council's website, one out of five Americans have eaten an entire pie by themselves. So this week, This week, I talk to a woman who traveled to all 50 US states to investigate 50 different American pies, and we try her top three pie suggestions. So get ready to decide what your favorite pie is, because this is the Pies episode.

I'm a flightless bird, touched down in America. I'm a flightless bird, touched down in America. I feel like we've talked a lot about pies in different episodes. It's time to do a pie zip.

I love pie. I'm so excited for this episode.

Your face lit up as an intro was playing, which I liked. Yes.

It lit up a little brighter than beavers.

Your face dropped. Beavers? Why the fuck are we doing beavers?

Maybe everyone should run these topics by me.

Things were getting out of hand. Yeah, it was confronting for me because as you know, when I think pie, I think meat pie. Exactly. And so this has been a real roller coaster.

Can you start by saying your thoughts on American pie, not the movie?

I love sugar. Since being in America, I've had bits of pies. You saw me at Thanksgiving stuffing my face. Oh, shit. That's right. There is a problem, though, recently where I have got new medical insurance. And so I've been to my new doctor.

Ppo?

Ppo.

Finally.

I'm on a PPO, which I feel very grateful. It's very expensive, which I'm not happy with. But I went to my new doctor. He was lovely, handsome, charming.

Single?

Don't know. I didn't get that far. You need to ask. His nurse drew my blood and my blood came back. And for the first time in my entire life- I know. Cholesterol. My cholesterol's higher than it should be. Okay.

Yeah, my cholesterol's high.

Whenever I've got results back, anything, STIs, cholesterol, I don't know, whatever else in blood. Perfect. Perfect writer. A plus. Yeah. America, it's done something to me.

You think it's a no, David. It's done something to me. I think it's age. You're not going to like to hear that. This is horrific. But the older you get, the more common place this is.

Because my whole life, what I've done is I eat what I want. In America, I've been eating... I eat a lot of pizza. Sure. I eat a lot of burgers. And externally, I've felt okay. I haven't looked at myself and gone, I'm ballooning I'm in control. I'm unhealthy. What I was unaware of is that my insides over the last three years have slowly been rotting away. And that's just come to my awareness now.

Do you ever cook dinner or do you always order?

No, that's why I like this meal delivery service stuff, because that's really good for me. Factor, who's a sponsor at some point. I like Factor. That works for me. I get a lot of takeout. I live alone. Cooking for one sucks. It's hard. And I'm not a good cook, whereas you love cooking. I don't. So America and my age is a problem.

I think you're right. I think cholesterol. Oh, did you do any stats on this? Or we should. Cholesterol levels in the United States. It's a whole other episode. We know we have obesity issues in those.

Cholesterol in general.

I have, genetically, I have high cholesterol. I've had it since I was just a wee baby. Oh, your genes are turned- When I moved to the United States.

When you moved to America. Yeah. We're going to let that go. Let's take our daughter to America.

Let's take our high cholesterol baby with us.

What will cure her? The United States.

Yeah. So I have it genetically. And then recently, I guess last year, it was quite high.

This is all new to me. I'm in panic at the moment, which is why going into this pies episode, I was worried because pies isn't recommended to keep the cholesterol down. So usually I'd go into an episode like this just absolutely stuffing my face. My doctor said, just eat a lot. You said basically eat salads.

It's like when we did Loma Linda and we're trying to learn about longevity. And really, it's just the most basic thing ever, which is eat vegetables, run, or move your body, exercise, exercise and sleep well, and probably don't drink.

Okay, so this is what's happened to me then. Okay, my age. Yeah. Since I had back a shoes. I haven't been exercising as much. I'm not sleeping as well because of that fucking ghost that comes in at three. So all those have combined.

We gave him a name. Frank. No, it wasn't Frank. No, damn it.

I don't call him by his name. Peter? Peter?

I can't remember, anyway.

Peter's Calvin's Ghost.

Oh, right. That one really creeps me. Okay, anyway.

So I just wanted to say at the top, I've got high cholesterol, and I'm thinking about that a lot.

Okay, so how is exercise? Have you been dipping back in?

I walk a lot. That's great. I'm going to walk up a hill. And I swim. He sent me a note. That's the other thing about America. If you need to get into your medical notes, there's a portal. America loves a portal. Oh, yes. In New Zealand, you get email stuff to your In America, every institution you're a part of, there's a portal. You log in, there's security measures, they're texting your phone. It's driving me nuts.

I can never get into mine. When I was sick, I went to the urgent care and I couldn't get in to pay my bill.

Everyone's like, get to the portal, go to the portal.

You guys got to do the face password.

I'll do that. I'll just set that up on my phone. And it's like, do you do it in your browser or in your app on your phone? App. Cedars Sinai, what I'm going to, they've got two apps. Cedars is great. Why the hell? Why have you got two? Make it one.

Well, Cedars is a very reputable-Oh, I'm over the moon.

Hospital.

I'm there. Okay, hold on. What did they say in your portal?

Should I try and get into this portal now? I'll tell you.

I can get in my portal. It sounds sexual. It's like, get into my portal.

Okay, I'm logging in.

I can't get into her portal.

This doctor told me to get into his portal.

Okay, so I'm logging in now. I'm typing in my username, which I'm not going to tell you.

She won't let me into her portal.

Okay, I'm clicking sign in.

Get into your portal, David.

Okay, here we go. Dr. Andrew, this is what he said, I've reviewed your recent lab results. Your LDL, bad cholesterol, is a bit elevated. This increases your lifetime risk for developing cardiovascular disease, a. K. A. Heart attack. He thinks I'm an idiot. Stroke and even certain types of dementia.

Oh, shit.

I can't get dementia.

Oh, oh.

You're calculated 10 year risk for atherosclerotic cardiovascular disease is 1.4 %.

Okay, that's really low.

It's low, isn't it?

What's the number, David?

Okay, so I'm going to go into a different part of the portal. Let's see. Test results. Chlamedia, nothing. Hiv, nothing Yeah, okay. So cholesterol, normal value. Hdl cholesterol, normal. Triglycerides, high.

Are they high? Oh, yes. That's bad.

You want to be under 150 150 milligrams per DL. I'm 217.

150 is the-150 is what you want.

I'm 217, so I'm 67 above.

Yeah, that's bad. Okay. And triglycerides- That's not helping my panic. Sorry, but triglycerides are the thing. I mean, there's a lot of bad stuff, but triglycerides is one we do got to watch. When I went, mine was 600. I'm fucking out. I was like- So you didn't laugh?

No, I was like, I'll be dead. So you must have been experienced complete panic.

Yes, because it was crazy. And my doctor said, I think there's something wrong, so we had to retake it.

Something wrong. And did it come down?

Or that was you? Yeah, it was not 600. 600 is dead. I mean, you're dead.

Was it around 200? Am I higher than you or lower?

Oh, should I look at my portal?

Can you look at your portal? My LDL is 113. It's meant to be under 100. So it's not as bad.

That's not too bad.

And my non-HL cholesterol is 147 when it's meant to under 130, which is not that bad.

What's your ratio? The ratio is very important.

I've said too much already. This is so personal.

It really is.

Is there anything more personal than your blood? I don't think there is.

Well, where your lumps are. Where your sperms.

Oh, the lump.

Is it time for you to tell us? No. So much time has passed.

The triglycerides I need to sort out. How's your portal going? Anyone? Okay.

Yeah, I got it.

Face recognized, you're in on your My triglycerides were 103, so they're fine. Oh, my God. You're making me feel so low. I'm 217.

But let me make you feel better. My LDL is 184.

This was in June of last year. My mind's 113 right now.

And it should be less than 100. So 184 is bad, which affects my overall cholesterol, which is 274 and should be less than 200.

Did you feel the feeling of panic? I felt really worried.

I felt really worried that my triglycerides were 600, but I've been high my whole life, so it's not that startling. Also, my HDL, your good cholesterol, is also high, so that's good.

That is good. Yeah, that is a good one.

So that also affects it. Now, my ratio is four, and it should be under five. And that's really the thing that matters.

Oh, yeah. 4.7. It's meant to be under five.

Under five, so you're fine. You're fine.

I don't like that gasp. That gasp doesn't say fine, Monica.

Well, it was It's just awfully close to- That's what the doctor said. I think we should get your HDL up.

Yeah, okay.

To help this ratio.

Okay, so look what I've done. The last two weeks, I've been on salads. Oh, good. Apples. Great. Apparently, Oats is good for soaking up some of that fat. I'm off the butter. Oh, wow. I used to eat a lot of eggs. I'm not eating eggs. No, that's a fallacy. Avocado. No, okay.

What's your sugar?

Oh, look, let's move on. This is stressful.

My point is- Don't stress out. It's It's fine.

It's going to get higher if you stress.

Actually, yeah, exactly.

Oh, God. Sweating. Heart rate's elevated.

None of this is dire, right? Did they say you need to get on a statin or something?

No, they said no meds. Then you're fine. They just said I get your diet sorted out.

Okay, pies.

I've got a couple of other bits of admin. I'm going to save a bit of admin in between the documentary. But just before we start, and this is important, we got a lot of feedback to the Lord of the Rings episode we did, mainly because I didn't watch it.

Yeah, people were upset It's a bit like when I did Waffle House. Yeah, that was a nightmare.

And I get it. And part of my brain, I'm a bit chaotic, and part of my brain knew there'd be anger about doing a Lord of the Rings episode without watching the movies. So a couple of things. First off, in that episode, I commented that Orlando Bloom has vanished. And immediately when we put that out, he's everywhere. He's absolutely everywhere. Oh my God, maybe you brought him back. I like to think I did. So Orlando Bloom, I wanted to apologize. I don't even remember that. He's got a new docuseries called To The Edge, which chronicles his mental, physical, and spiritual journey as he pushes himself to the Edge. That's where the title To The Edge comes from. To learn and master three extreme sports.

Are you going to do an episode on that and also not watch it?

I want to do an episode on Orlando Bloom. Yeah, that'd be cool.

Because he's an amazing film. He's not American, though.

Where's he from? Canadian?

No, he's not British. United Kingdom.

He was born in the United Kingdom.

Okay. He's not doing an episode on Orlando. But I wanted to apologize to him. And another thing, because so many people were a bit annoyed that I got the plot a bit wrong, I got Rob to show his son, Calvin, Lord of the Rings, the first one.

Is that age-appropriate?

Well, we'll find out.

Oh. Afterwards, Rob got Calvin to review the film.

Oh, my God. I can't wait.

And so this is a little mini review from Calvin reviewing his first viewing of Lord of the Rings.

You just watched the first Lord of the Rings movie, right? Yes. Can you tell me what it was about?

It's about a ring that was made by a master, and they're trying to break it because the master was a bad guy. But they can't use any tools to break the ring because it was made with this fire, and only a volcano and lava can break it. They're on this island and they're trying to escape, but they landed on another island in the middle and the last of the movie. But these goblins, this goblin was too powerful, and he hit three bone arrows in one of the good guys, and he died because he was too powerful, and you couldn't see him. And there's too many goblins that he had to fight at once.

There's a lot of characters in it, right? Mm Do you remember them?

There's Frodo, Sam, and that's all I can remember. There's eight of them, or maybe the seven or six.

Or nine.

That's such a kid thing to tell. There was, I think, 12 given to the men, nine to the elves, and three to the dorfs. It was actually a trick because the rings were bad, and if you put them on, you turn into his and you turn to a bad guy.

So he had given out all those rings, but then there was one ring that would rule them all, right? .

It was one given to the master. But there's this man that defeated him and cut his hand off. But then he got killed because all the bad guys wanted that ring too bad. And then it got left in the dirt. But the ring was also a trap, and he's still alive, but only his eyes left. It got left in the dirt. Then Frodo found it, and they're trying to break it and put in a volcano, and then it'll break up into dust.

Did you like the first movie? Mm-hmm. Did you think it was too long, too short? It was three hours.

It was pretty long.

Would you recommend this movie to other people?

Yeah.

Was it too scary, too funny?

It was perfect.

It was perfect. Perfect movie. Are you excited to watch the next ones? . I bet.

They're going to try to destroy it, but the bad guy is going to try to get them, and he's going to get his ring back.

All right, we'll check back in after you finish the second one. Okay?

Okay. Bye. Learn and subscribe.

What?

Like and subscribe.

Oh, my God.

Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

He just added like and subscribe. That broke me as well.

He just added like and subscribe. How old is Calvin?

He's It killed me. I did the same thing, Monica. I was like, did he just... Oh my God.

He knows to say that?

Just from me and being around podcasts.

Yeah, it's really good.

But still, we don't say that.

I know we don't.

But it's a thing, though. You do hear it so often. And also that was amazing recall. I couldn't have done. That was incredible. Your son's amazing. He's pretty smart.

He's so smart. He said a really big vocab in there.

I didn't even know what it was. Looking at him in the dictionary. So we're going to get him to review the other two films. I love this. And we'll bring those reviews to you, Flightless Bird listeners. Incredible. Stay tuned for more Flightless Bird. We'll be right back after a word from our sponsors. Support for Flightless Bird comes from AuraFrames.

We know that you love AuraFrames. Every day. Your mom loves AuraFrames.

Every other day, I send a fresh photo of me and America to my parents' AuraFrame. Oh, that's sweet. And because they're not on Facebook and they don't really... Emails are... Whereas if it just magically pops up on their frame, then it's great. I had the photo shifting through every half hour, and mom demanded that I change it to 30 seconds. She just sat there glued to her frame like the TV. Anyway, they're Wi-Fi connected digital picture frames that allow you to share and display unlimited photos. It's really easy to upload them and share them via the Aura If you're giving it as a gift, you can personalize a frame with preloaded photos and memories. It takes about two minutes to set up a frame. And honestly, I think it's the perfect gift. It can be really earnest and serious, and you can fill it out with beautiful photos, or I often give them to friends and just fill them out with fun, silly things.

Yes, that's great. The display, it's meticulously calibrated, high resolution, so it's nice. Oh, yeah.

It looks like a frame. It's like there's a photo, except in case of my mom, it's shifting every 10 seconds. But I like to set them to shift every 2 hours. So It's just this beautiful thing in the corner. Right now, Aura has a great deal for Mother's Day. Listeners can save on the perfect gift by visiting auraframes. Com to get $30 off plus free shipping on their best selling frame. That's auraframes. Com. Use code Bird at checkout to save. Terms and conditions apply. This show is sponsored by Better Help.

David.

Monica.

Have you talked to your therapist about your lump? Does your therapist know where your lump is?

I told the therapist about the lump because it was So stressful that week. And they said, talk to your doctor. But they did talk me through managing stress and anxiety. Because, again, I'm getting it with this cholesterol issue I've got at the moment. And there is something to being able to manage each situation and not feel it spiral out of control in your brain because our brains love to spiral.

They do. And then it makes everything worse. It makes your body completely shut down. So, yeah, you refuse to share your lump with us, but I'm glad you did share it with somebody.

Yeah, because therapy is a safe space to get things off your chest and to figure out how to work through whatever's weighing you down without having to tell your friends about it.

And better help is amazing because it's entirely online and it's convenient, it's flexible, it's suited to your schedule. That's the main thing people say about therapy. It's too expensive or I just can't make it work. With better help, you can because there's so many options.

Totally. And if for any reason you don't like the therapist you get matched with, then you can just swap and get someone else. So get it off your chest with better help. Stop. Visit betterhelp. Com/bird today to get 10 % off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P. Com/bird. Also, big news. Just yesterday, they're releasing the Lord of the Rings trilogy to theaters, remastered and extended in America. Okay, so I know this isn't a Lord of the Rings podcast, but I just wanted to insert that into the pies episode. I loved that. Because it was very important. I loved that. Lord of the Rings That was so cute.

I can't believe it. Like and subscribe.

Yeah, you better like and subscribe to this feed. Okay, pies.

He's so cute.

He's so cute. Let's begin our exploration of American pies. This is great. Oh, yeah.

Jim?

It's not what it looks like.

I guess I first understood how much American America loved pie when I watched a movie called American Pie 25 years ago and witnessed an American fucking a pie.

Well, we'll just tell your mother that we ate it all.

Not much has changed because America still loves pies, as I found out during the Thanksgiving episode of Flight the Bird, where I found myself surrounded by pies.

I've got four big slices of pie. I've never had this one before. I thought it was a cheesecake, but apparently, it's The key line. This is pecan, a famous Thanksgiving treat that I've never had before.

I realized I haven't really learned much about pie since that episode. If I was to be truly American, I needed to understand why Americans are so pie obsessed.

My name is Stacey Mayenne Fong, and I'm a baker and an author of pie cookbooks.

The second I'd seen Stacey's cookbook sitting on a bookstore shelf, I knew she was the one I needed to talk to for this episode. Her book is called 50 Pies, 50 States, the result of her traveling to each American state to try their favorite pie.

There's 50 pies in the book, one for every state. There is also a pie for DC. I had to do the nation's capital.

Which is what, by the way?

The DC pie is a cherry pie as an ode to the lore of George Washington cutting that cherry tree down.

I also wanted to talk to Stacey because she's a bit like me and that she wasn't born in America. She chose to make it her home.

I have grown up enamored with America from watching American movies and listening to a lot of American music with my dad. My dad loves Simon and Garfinkel, Bread, The Carpenters. I have a big affinity for old country music, like John Prine, Loretta Lynn, Dolly Parton is my favorite person on the planet because it's all about storytelling. I think what's wonderful, too, about the music, it is country but it's storytelling of America. In my head, America seemed like this really big, wonderful place that you could go on this big road trip. I was born in Singapore, and I grew up in Hong Kong, both of which are islands. So any trips we took were all international. All I wanted was to go on this long road trip and eat pie at different diners across America. It just sounded so wonderful to me.

Before we got When we went into it, I wanted to make sure we were both on the same page about what pie means, what it consists of.

Coming from New Zealand, if you say pie, what you mean there is a meat pie. You never think fruity pie. When you were growing up and you thought pie, what was the thing that would jump to mind?

I thought meat pie because I also grew up playing rugby and netball. And afterwards, you would go to a tuck shop and get a meat pie. Pie for me was only meat. I didn't know there was so many any sweet pies until we would come here on vacation. My dad worked in hotels, and so there would be these buffets of all these different kinds of pies. And I was like, What is going on? Because in my mind, there was only apple pie and then cherry pie because of the music that I'd listen to. So I didn't know about any other grasshopper pie or all these different mustard pies. So when I started diving into that, it was so interesting to learn that here pie was a dessert, but for all of us in British colonies, pie was a full meal. I I feel here the only savory pie everybody thinks about is chicken pot pie. That's the only savory one.

Once she had moved to New York, Stacey decided to embrace the sweet pies of America. So much so, she ended up becoming an American citizen. It was while waiting for her citizenship that her true pie journey began.

While I was doing the laborious amount of paperwork, spending all that money trying to stay in this country, I thought it'd be really fun to bake my way through the country as a way to learn about this country. How you have this podcast to learn about all these nuances, I decided to learn about each state by pie because when you travel to all these different countries, if you go to Portugal or Italy or Spain, you have a list of things you want to eat from there. I feel like people rarely do that with the United States or even the hometown that they're from. And I thought I would exercise my Nora Efron, Nancy Meyer's rom-com Grand Gesture and dedicate each state pie to a person that I know from that state. So my love letter to this country, I've decided to call home. So that's how I landed on pie, because even though pie is very different to you and me, I feel pie is quintessentially very American, or America likes to think it's very quintessentially American. And so pie seemed like the good blank canvas for me to explore not only the food of this country, but also all the different states, and also my little ode to the people that made this place my home.

Okay, onto the pies. There are over 50 pies in her cookbook, but we don't have all day. I wanted to know what ones really popped for her, which ones she really recommends. I wanted a top three.

Say you're going on a date and you don't know much about the person, but you really know you want to impress them. You don't know where they're from, but you really just want to impress this person that's come over with these three pies. They're going to have these pies and then they go, Wow, that was a beautiful pie.

Oh my God, this is so hard. I would probably make the pie I did from Vermont, which is an apple pie with a cheddar cheese crust. I love that pie so much because my buddy Pete's grandpa always used to say, A pie without the cheese is like a kiss without the squeeze. And in Vermont, you traditionally eat an apple pie with a slice of cheddar, which I really like because it's a mix of sweet and salty. So it really amps up the apple flavor. And then another pie I would make would probably be... The pie that I've probably gotten the most contention with that I did for the book would be Minnesota. It is a corndog hot dish pie with Savory Funnel cakes on top. And then to round out this because I want it to be a whole meal, I would probably do the pie I did for Washington, which is a Rainier cherry pie with a potato chip crumble on top because I love a mixture of sweet and salty. So I think it would be those three. But I think the pie that get me a ring on the finger would be the apple one because everybody loves apple pie.

Of course, for this episode, I needed to go and eat some pie just to start wrapping my taste buds around the idea that pies in my life are no longer meat pies, but sweet pies. And so I got Stacey to advise me on what American pies I should try where I am right now, Los Angeles.

Do it. Apple cherry and then a lemon meringue or something that has the floofy top. A big whipped top. See if you can find a lemon meringue. Lemon meringue pies are probably wonderful in LA because you guys have great citrus out there.

Okay, I had my assignment. Apple cherry and lemon meringue.

Okay, Monica. Cliffhanger? So I bought in an apple cherry and a lemon meringue.

Where are they from? They're from- House of Pies?

House of Pies because it's close. I know it's not the fanciest, but it's iconic.

Rob's face.

Where would you get your pies from in LA? Where should I go next time for pies part two when the cholesterol level has dropped?

Okay, there's a few. I love Winston's. Winston's is going to be what I said. Winston's is incredible. There's a pie place I got some pies for Thanksgiving. It's downtown.

The one that I sent you to, destroyer?

No, I didn't end up getting that.

Oh, those were insane.

I'm just going to, as you talk, I'm just going to chop these up. Okay. And we'll play it for each of you. A little selection of each. God, didn't you love what she said?

I loved everything. Oh, was that mine? Fat and flour.

A pie without the cheese. So good. A pie without the cheese is like a kiss without the squeeze.

I loved that.

Did you have Baker Square in Georgia?

No.

Is it a chain? Yeah, it's like a diner We didn't have that. They had a really good pie. They had a French silk pie. That was incredible.

French silk. Okay. French silk is a very elusive pie. It's very hard to find these days. I think they are at cafeterias and stuff originally.

Baker Square, that was always my go-to. I'd get French silk pie. I do love a chocolate pie. Then there's a really good place, Mindy's Hot Chocolate in Chicago. You took us there. Which we went to. It's now just Mindy's bakery, but she does insane pies.

Did we have pie when we went?

I think we had her dessert. We had the burgers and dessert, which that's my favorite burger of all time, too.

But it's gone now?

She just went back to bakery.

Okay, Monica, I'm going to pass you over a little slice of pie. You've tried all these probably hundreds of times.

Well, before we begin, should I start with my negative thoughts?

Yeah, please. Get those out.

I like your assignment. I think she was right because citrus in LA, it's good. I just am never getting a lemon meringue pie. Oh, never? What? I'm never picking that.

I did notice I kept it in the fridge as I drove over here. It has melted a lot. The lemon is very goopy. It wasn't like this when I bought it.

It It looks like pineapple.

But don't you love the meringuey part, like the fluff? What's your beef?

My beef is... I don't love just lemon-flaved things in general. And then, yeah, the meringue. It It's not for me. It's not for you?

Okay, no, fair.

But I'm going to try this.

Okay, give it a go. I've never tried- Apple is definitely one of my all time faves. Okay, I'm going to try the lemon meringue now, based on your- Should we do lemon meringue first?

Yeah.

I feel that cholesterol spiking. Okay, so I'm a meringue guy. I'm not a lemon guy, but the meringue I enjoy. You like, okay. I like the base.

It's a very floofy. It's so floofy.

It's refreshing having the lemon. It gives the illusion of freshness and health, perhaps.

Okay, let me have a small bite of that.

Should know, Rob is getting very close to the camera taking photos for this episode. Out of 10?

It's actually not as bad as I thought.

I'm giving And this lemon rang a seven out of 10.

But it tastes like a cola. It's very sweet.

It's very sweet.

Yeah.

Not good for the diabetes.

Okay, cherry next. Okay, yeah, let's do cherry. Also, Just throwing out there, I don't ever pick cherry either, but I like a fruit pie in general.

This is my first ever cherry pie. I like that cherry flavor. Yeah. A lot.

The crust is nice. This tastes like a I've never had a pop tart.

I've never had a pop tart.

What?

Okay, this is probably another thing I need to do. Yeah, I've never had one.

Oh my God.

It's like a bit of toast, but with sweetness.

It's not toast. It's more like a pastry, but it's processed.

And you put it in the toaster and it pops up. Yeah, okay. I think I've seen the commercials for it.

But they have cherry one. And there's like a jam.

I'd give the cherry one an eight out of 10.

Well, these are high numbers. I wish we had Winston's. Okay, it's okay. I love this. Just because I want you to see the difference.

Stay tuned for more Flightless Bird. We'll be right back after a word from our sponsors. Support for Flightless Bird comes from Helix Sleep. I've been sleeping on my Helix mattress for a couple of years now, and I'm getting really good sleeps.

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I'll be up to that spoon clean. Okay, this is apple. Oh, I like this. Right?

Apple pie is so good.

Yeah, apple pie is the one, isn't it?

Yeah, it is. This is a 10. This doesn't have cheddar, but that's fine.

Oh, that blew my mind, having... I didn't know you got cheese involved.

It's very Midwestern. This is nice. The apple is very spiced, which is good.

Yeah, those are... Look, I feel more American. So apple was your fave. Apple is my fave by far.

Loved apple. You didn't get any chocolate pies, which is a big part of pies.

And pumpkin pie. Have you had pumpkin pie?

I had that at Thanksgiving, and that was great.

And you had tea lime at Thanksgiving. Oh, delicious. Which is great as well.

So I have a sweet tooth. I don't think there's a pie that I wouldn't consume, to be honest. But I I am blown away by the creativity America has. I didn't realize there were so many pies. And obviously, locally, people get so excited about their pie.

Yeah. My friends, I think I said this on maybe another episode. My friends Lizzie and Joe, shout out. When they got married, they love pie, and so do I. So they invited me over for pie taste testing for their wedding. And it was so amazing. And they had a big array.

And that would be elite pie. That would be the best of the best.

They did have some house of pie options. They had Winston's. They had a couple of others. There's some that are very niche. You have to go to someone's house and in their backyard, there's a whole thing and pick it up. There's one that We got that I think it was peach, strawberry apple. It was like a three fruit- Yeah, combo. So good.

I feel it's a bit like barbecue where people have their spots to go and their places and their different Yeah, it feels the same levels of passion involved.

Do you think you, in general, would like a chocolate pie more or less than a fruit pie?

I don't know what you're talking about. No, I understand chocolate, but how do you get chocolate into a pie? Because pie is a texture. Is it got pastry?

It's like merenguey. I mean, it depends on the kind.

Here. So this is like what French silk looks like. It's more moosy.

It looks amazing. I love chocolate, so it'll be out my alley. I just wasn't sure about the texture. I think I like the The chunkiness of fruit.

The fruit, yeah.

And it's healthy because it's fruit. What did you think about that Minnesota pie she mentioned that she loved? The Corn dog hot dish pie with the savory funnel cake? She said that and I felt like I was having a stroke because I didn't really know what any of these things were. And they're all apparently in a pie?

It's wild. It was wild. I don't know that that one's for me. Because how can it be a savory funnel cake? You've had funnel cake, though, right? Funnel cake is at amusement parks.

No, I haven't done funnel cake.

Oh, my God.

We didn't do that one. Was it at Disney when we went there? Would I have got it there? We didn't get it, though.

They would have had it.

No, I haven't had it.

It's an amusement park staple. How would we describe it?

It's fried dough with powdered sugar on top.

Yeah, that's right. Oh, that sounds great.

It looks like this.

Horn dogs. Okay. No, I haven't had that before.

But she made it savory, but it's very sweet. So she must be adding pepper.

Right. But isn't that just chucking the cheese onto the apple or something? I guess so. Sweet and savory combo?

I learned about cheese on apple pie late in life. That wasn't a thing I was exposed to. I don't think I've ever had an apple pie with the slice of cheese. I want that. I want to try it. Also, I love cheese.

Oh, I love cheese as well. What's that like for the cholesterol? Bad, dairy.

It's not great. But just do moderate. If you do it in moderation, that's fine. But I have had apple pie with cheddar cheese in the crust. Oh, so good.

Have you done pie hole?

Pie hole is good. Yeah, I have.

Got a really good pie and a Mexican chocolate pie. That's really good. Mexican chocolate. Oh, my God.

It's endless. You could die having not eaten all of America's pies. She's gone to every state. I mean, that's why this book is so incredible because she's been to an eating all of them.

Pecan is really important that you try. Oh, wait, maybe you had it at Thanksgiving. I think you did at Thanksgiving.

Oh, Thanksgiving. Yeah, it was intense.

This is another type of chocolate pie. Okay. Chocolate cowgirl from Winston.

That photo looks beautiful, I'm looking at. Yeah, I got that.

It has a rich chocolate filling, a responsibly sourced Ecuadorian chocolate and a salty oak crust, toped with a dribble of handmade fresh caramel. Fudge-like texture with just the right amount of sweetness. It's really nice.

Okay, so just quickly, before we go on to part two, what- Oh my god, they're a Milky Way pie right now. What's the pie that you have? Your final meal pie. What are you having? Right now, I'm having the apple. I love the apple. Okay. What are you having?

I think if I have one pie... I also love the strawberry rhubarb. I I think I'm going apple as well.

Yeah, it's the simplicity, I think. It is.

Yeah, okay, apple pie. The milk bar pie is insane. They used to call it crack pie.

Crack pie.

But it's the like, caramel buttery. I've had it at my house with you.

Yeah, I like that pie.

It was so good. It was so good.

This is yummy.

The rest of the episode should just be us listing pie.

It does feel like that.

It's like going...

I mean, pie It is so funny listening to the doc and really realizing, because you mentioned it, but it's hard for me to really wrap my head around. The fact that we just really are in our silos, that you hear pie and you don't think of this.

Yeah, absolutely.

It's so interesting.

And there's a few times American friends have come to visit me in New Zealand and I haven't clocked it because we're going to get a pie. And they're like, oh, it's a weird thing to get for lunch. And I should point out as well that when I say in New Zealand we're eating meat pies, it's not like the pie you'd get in America, this huge thing. It's a little handheld pie. It's tiny. And so you go to New Zealand and most people you see walking around, they'll have one of these little pies in their hand. It's like a hot pocket. It's like a hot pocket. That's what I'm talking about. So we're not feast on these giant, meaty, massive pies.

Because even our chicken pot pie is the shape of a big pie.

Everything's big. So you'd have to slice it up.

I mean, they do have individual size pot pies.

But it's not typical. A typical meat pie in New Zealand is tiny. Right.

Your typical pot pie is you bake it like a big pie. Oh, I want to make that soon. Allison Roman has a recipe that I've been wanting to make, a chicken pot pie.

I feel like maybe we need to do a chicken pot pie episode where they came from. I'm sure there's an origin story.

Well, Marie calendar, frozen food, that's the quintessential pot pie, the frozen pot pie. I don't know if that's how... It's probably not how it started, but that's just like the Salsbury steak. You should do a frozen foods episode.

That's a really good idea. We touched on it briefly in the ice episode, but that's like a whole world. It's such a world. I love this.

And it's a big part of them. Like the Salsbury steak in this, I guess '70s or maybe '50s, I'm not going to say it at times, was a huge part of American dinner, dining.

I love this because I've embraced the Trader Joe's frozen meals. I think if you're a sad, alone person, you go to Trader Joe's and there's these individual. They're marketed to people like me. So he lives alone. He hates cooking. Not really talented. Like, get this.

There's no point in him nourishing himself.

Anyway, frozen food is a great episode. Okay, great. Okay, so in the final part of this doc, it actually lines up quite nicely with what we just came to the conclusion of, which is that apple pie is the best pie.

Okay, we're going to get some hate.

Am I right in thinking the apple pie is the American pie, right? That is the main one. That's America's pie.

I think it's because pie is one of those things in American history that they've always kept on the table in some way. There's a series of pies that were created here called Despiration Pies. These were pies that were made out of not necessarily financial depression, even though there is a pie that was made during the Great Depression. But it was about seasonal depression when you didn't have fresh fruit. There are all these pies, like the vinegar pie that was created in Appalachia, and that's supposed to mimic the tartness of apples. The water pie comes from the Great Depression, which it tastes like Krispy Kreme donut glaze in the center of a pie. What all of this made me think of is the importance of pie in America and keeping it on the table throughout the year or even during times of sadness. The symbol of pie is the symbol of America's abundance. Whenever you see an apple pie, it's a bunch of apples piled high and the crust is big and it's sitting in a window. It's this idyllic vision of what you want America to be. It might not always be that way, and it definitely isn't.

But when you have this symbol of a delicious steaming apple pie, things feel a little less hopeless and a little more hopeful.

Is there a pie that you just hate on a personal level? Is there a specific pie that you're like, No, that's not for me?

It's pumpkin. I'm so sorry to everybody that absolutely loves pumpkin. It's just not for me. Or anything with a Jello in it. I'm weird about the texture picture of Jell-O.

Statistically, Stacey's an aberration. According to the American Pie Council, pumpkin pie is a big business, especially for Thanksgiving, with over 50 million pumpkin pies eaten every November. Now, before I left Stacey, I had one more question. One more question for the pie expert who's explored way more of America than I have.

Completely unrelated to the pies, or maybe it is related to the pies, do you have a place you ended up in that really surprised you or stands out in a positive way?

South Dakota completely blew me away. I had never, ever been any place like it. It felt like the moon, mainly because there was barely anyone on the roads. I saw an actual tumbleweed, which was the most amazing thing in the entire world. And also the culture and the deep-rooted food that's available in South Dakota that isn't available anywhere else, and the landscapes, yeah. If you ever get a chance to go to South Dakota, go to South Dakota. It's very beautiful. It'll blow you away.

I saw my first tumbleweed in Roswell, New Mexico, and I thought I was hallucinating. They're so big.

They're so big.

And there were so many of them, and they're on the fucking road. It's actually a whole other topic I need to do is fucking tumbleweeds. You've just reminded me.

You have to do tumbleweeds. When I saw a tumbleweed was like when I was in college here and saw a red solo cup for the first time. It was like, these exist. This is for real. I bought a 12-pack of them back to Hong Kong with me my first break, and I was like, you guys, it's real. Let me teach you beer pong.

Future episodes in coming, Red Cups and Tumbleweeds. But for now, I've got about 47 other pie flavors to try.

The red cup thing I thought was just a joke in American comedies. You did. And when I got to America and saw them, I was like, oh, just a thing you do.

Okay, you have to do an episode on red solo cups. You can also get blue, but red's the color.

Oh, my God. Fifty Pies, Fifty States is the book. It's an amazing book. I'm getting that. And I should say, so she's also formulated her recipes for that. So she's like an amazing chef. So she... Baker chef? I don't know the terminology. So she basically... Yeah, she basically has formulated her best recipe. So it's got them all in there.

I'm excited. I'm going to buy it. It's a cool book.

I like how she also mentioned that they're always on the table. Even through financially difficult times, people will find cheeky ways to still get a delicious pie sitting there to keep everyone happy.

Yeah, because it is such a token of American culture. And like she said, abundance. You need it there to feel some hope. Yeah. It's hope.

It's like there's a sweet treat. And just rewinding to the very beginning of this episode. American pie, that comedy, is like the beginning of gross-out comedy being big. That was huge in New Zealand. Huge. Is that big here?

Huge.

It was a time, wasn't it?

It was such a time.

Eugene Levy made him massive again.

Stifler. Stifler's mom.

I guess so many kids listening to this who are like, what? Right? Or would they know it? Has it gone to the culture like Forest Gump did, where everyone knows the references?

They made eleven of them, so I think it was around for a while.

So there's so many, right?

No, but does Calvin know about it? Will you ask him? Calvin does not know.

Can you watch it? Can we get a review of him? What was he doing to the pie? No, don't do that. That's child abuse. Like and subscribe.

Oh, so sweet. This was really fun and I enjoyed this. I do think you have some other ones you got to try.

I've got a lot of pies I need to try. And I've got a bonus for you. Because we've been recording remotely a few times because we've been sick and whatnot. Quilting, that quilting episode. So many people have gotten in touch with me wanting to send you, Rob Dax, me quilts. Endless.

Oh, that's exciting.

And I can't reply to everyone. So kind that people want to do this. But that blog I write, Webworm, I trust those people. And so I gave one of them my address because they're nice people and I interact and I know they're lovely. And so she sent- A quilt. Quilts. They're here. I bought them in. So my quilt is at home. It's got cats on it. So Susan Marshall sent these in. She just basically said, this is a note for the rest of the crew. I've been a fan of the show since week one. I know everyone says it, but it's true. I've always seen photos of the attic and thought making a quilt for guests would be fun. She's been making quilts for her friends and family for 20 years. She's got an Etsy store. I was inspired to finally make one for all of you when I heard the Flight of the Spirit episode about quilts. Also, when Monica confessed that no one had ever made her a quilt, I knew I had.

A lot of people felt sad about that.

I think most people haven't had a quilt made for them. Yeah, I don't know. But that just sounded so sad. No one's made me a quilt. No one's even made me a quilt. Monica, your quilt was the hardest because I know you're a Virgil, meaning I'm meaning your particular.

You mean a Virgil?

Yeah, that's what he means. What did I say? I say virgin.

Virgil. Oh, Virgil. You combined virgin and Virgil.

You did. And I was like, She's wrong.

She's wrong about it. Okay, a Virgo. A Virgo. I've never said that out loud. I don't do the stars and the sun and all that stuff. A Virgo. Really embarrassing myself. I'm bad with astrology. Oh, boy. When When I saw this fabric about empowering women, I knew it was for you. A few days later, the ding, ding, ding moment came. The Pantone, I'm afraid of saying words now, Pantone color was announced. Pantone. And one of the fabrics was the Pantone color.

No way. This is wow.

Okay, Robin Dax. This one I made to leave in the attic. I'm hoping the colors go with the gray blue in the attic. Dax, you never get a cold, but Monica and the guests might use it. Rob, I wanted to make your son a baseball a quilt quilt, but I couldn't remember which Chicago baseball team you supported. If you'd like one, message me. White Sox. Yeah, it's the White Sox. Right, White Sox. She's frigging kind. I hope you like these quilts. If not, just give them to the people you love. The fabric's machine, washable and easy to care for.

Oh, my God, I'm so excited to see. This is a martial, okay. Pantone. Wow. Okay, this is pretty. Oh my God.

Threw that over the room.

It's thick. It's a great fabric. Oh, it's comfy.

What does the text say?

It says, empower women. Oh, that's cool. This is so sweet. It's pink. I love pink.

And Rob, this is the one for you and Dax. It's soft and beautiful. It's very cuddly.

It's really soft. Thank you so much. This is so sweet. What's also interesting, and I like, the one we have from our friend from the episode is such a specific type of quilt. It's so amazing. Wait, did you know that on Armature Anonymous, one of our Yes, nose him, Luke. Oh, amazing. And had one of his quilts up?

Oh, that's so weird. Isn't that weird? Yeah, because Luke stuff is amazing, detailed and machine driven and your faces are on that thing. Yes. These are more like, I don't want to say typical. They're beautiful. No, they're gorgeous. The standard shapes and textures and fabrics.

But the one we have from Luke is very thin and this one's fluffy and soft.

Yeah, that's a winter time in the attic. A winter quilt. Wraps yourself up in that. Imagine when guests come in, you and Dax just like wrapped up in these quilts. What are you doing? So I know we've bought quilts and Lord of the Rings back into the pie's episode, but why not? Why not? It's chockablock. Well, Merry Christmas. Happy New Year. Happy Thanksgiving. Happy. What a time.

Happy Lord of the Rings release.

Happy pie day. Happy pie day.

Calleys birthday is pie day. The number 314.

Oh, that's really cute. So pie day is on, we missed it, it's on January 23rd. So put it in your diary. Next year, eat all the pie you can eat. Apple's the best. All right. I think we're all more American. We are. And my cholesterol is bumped up by half a point. Bye.