A hair race?

Yeah. Because I feel like you cut it. I think I need to cut. You cut it more than twice as more as me. . And yet, yours is longer, which that's the thing I keep hearing about why you should trim.

Yeah, I feel like we've talked about that's the whole... That's what they tell you. That they trim so to grow. And now we know.

It's so pretty. So mermady.

I do need a cut, though.

Same.

It's time. Yeah.

For a little trim. I literally before I left, I just almost impulsively just snapped. Oh, yeah. I forget you cut your own hair. Well, but I need to not. I think I need to see a professional. But it looks good. Does it? Yeah. I don't know. It's not great. If you focus on the ends, don't focus on the ends.

Okay. Never focus on the ends.

Never focus on the ends. Wow. That's a good life lesson.

Only focus on the beginning.

On the beginnings. On the them a mess to her.Oh, my God. Do you think that it's ubiquitous if everyone's made fun of someone with a big mole?A big mole, someone's weight. It was also the '90s. I know. That was fair game. I mean, in a way that I really hope it's not now.It also was me and a friend, and it also came back to us. The mom found out. She was the bus driver. This was such a nightmare, and we had to apologize. I think we also first tried to lie to get out of it. How?What was the lie?Exactly. I don't think it. I think there was no way to get out of it. I think we said somebody else said it, maybe, but we weren't specific about who. We weren't throwing anyone under her mom's bus. The boss. Yeah. But I I didn't. In many ways, I really was self-medicating, 100% undiagnosed anxiety, OCD. Drinking helped me so much. I still remember the first time I got drunk. I wasn't even into drinking, and I was scared of all of that. But I remember being at a party and accidentally getting drunk and then being like, Oh, my God, the noise stopped. All of a sudden, I'm at peace. It just became this amazing medicine for me in a very not great way that created other problems.That's so interesting because the way you just described it is the way so many addicts describe it. It's like the first time I drank, I knew this was the feeling I wanted to keep having. And quiet the noise is a very specific way of saying it. But then by the time I met you, I feel like you drank, but you never- Yeah, I think two things happened.One thing was work replaced it for me. So one time, honestly, I moved to New York, and there was so many exciting opportunities. I just worked weekends, and it definitely quieted the noise in a different way. And also I couldn't drink because I wouldn't be able to work a full day or whatever. And then I also think my body, I can't metabolize it. And I think that's literally a gift from the universe, where I don't feel well when I drink. And I think, again, I knew it was an issue. When the guy choked me on that date, I had a few drinks. Again, I didn't do anything to do. I didn't do that. But I just realized when I'm drinking, there are things that happen that I don't like. And then I think last summer when I had those unrelated health issues where I really needed to stop completely It was hard, but I think it was like a gift from the universe because I was like, Oh, I can do this. And it wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be, which was really nice. But in my 20s, I definitely had some not interventions, but like friends talking to me.And I think that would I never received it really well, but I think it affected me where I was like, Okay, this is something I need to think about.Interesting.Did you ever feel like you had an issue with drinking?I still wonder a little bit. I mean, I don't think the amount is ever problematic, how much I'm drinking in a time. But the frequency can be a little like when I really look at it or if I have to answer Certainly when the doctor is like, How many drinks per week? Then I feel that's a lot. But it is very confusing because for the most part, I mean, every now and then, no. But I'm very in control. It's like two drinks and it's fun. I've never been like, I got to keep going 7:00 AM. I've never been that. So it's a gray area. I think drinking in general is gray. It's not good for you. It's just straight up not good for you. Is poison. So why are we doing it is a question that anyone who drinks has to ask themselves, I think. What I have stopped doing, and I don't miss this, is drinking alone. If I'm here I would watch TV and have a glass of wine, which feels fine, right? But I think I decided to cut that out because then it was just... That's when it becomes habitual. That's my issue with it, actually, is more that it just quickly becomes habit as opposed to like, Oh, my God, I get out of control, or this happens, or these are the consequences.It's none of that. It's just like, Oh, boy, this is a habit. I've been doing this every day. You know? Yeah. So that's the thing I have to monitor is when it's transitioned into just like, Well, I'm just doing it because I do it, not because I want to have fun or have a glass of wine with pasta. Yeah.To me, it became clear that when I don't I want to do it, I can't not do it. That was the thing for me. It was like, oh, this is a problem, right? That's interesting. I don't know if you've ever felt that, right? I feel like if you don't want to drink, you don't drink.Yeah, I don't. And you know what's also interesting is I don't I wedding is going to be small. Is that a hint that I'm not getting invited? I saw one of our mutual friends, and he asked if I was going and mentioned how he received to save the date, which I did not get either. My husband thinks I should straight up ask him, Where's my invite? But I feel like if I'm not getting invited, then there must be a reason for it. Should I just let the wedding happen and ask after? To be I'm a little bit hurt as we've been friends since we were 12. What should I do?This is a tricky situation. My guess is if you know that Save the Dates went out, yeah, you're probably not invited. I understand wanting to know. Well, first of all, I wish you wouldn't talk about it in front of you. That's not that nice. But also maybe there's a reason that she can't know. We don't know the details, but my hope would be that what he said is probably true. They're probably keeping it super small and weddings are fucking expensive, and there's two people, not just him, who knows why. I think you have to take whatever he says at face value.I think so, too. Again, as a person who's not been to a lot of weddings, but from an outsider's perspective, 99% of weddings are about money. That's my perception that the decisions, even I was struggling. I had two weddings this summer, and I just couldn't afford to go to both of them. And so I was riddled with anxiety about having to tell or just I I felt that it was such a rejection or an emotional, I'm choosing one over the other, and it means this whole thing. At one point, it was just like, Oh, this is just a financial decision. I had to have so many conversations with so many friends, but they were like, People know that when they do weddings far away, there's always like, We understand if you can't make it. I think the other way around is also true. Obviously, if it was just an emotional decision, I'm sure you would be invited. But this is probably literally a financial one where there's just limited spots. They have a budget, so he's had to make some hard decisions. I don't think we should read into weddings. And again, I've been to weddings where I was invited, but someone else who I felt they were even closer to wasn't invited.What goes into those decisions? You know, there's so many things.There are so many.Basically, like, whether you're invited to someone's wedding is not a measure of your friendship. Yeah. I think. Even though it's totally normal to be hurt when you're expecting something and that doesn't happen. I mean, for all you know, again, like maybe the wife has jealous. Like, not Exactly. That I'm saying that this is a thing, but there could be a... It is not... To take that decision and to create a reason that you've made up in your head is just going to cause you. Make you upset. Yeah. Exactly. You have no idea. I don't know about confronting the person I just think this is a, you're probably not going to the wedding. Or maybe sometimes you get a last minute thing because aunt whatever can't make it, so you never know. But for now, I think I would assume you're not going. Yeah.To make peace with that. Yeah.Make peace with it. Again, it's really easy to say this, but to not take this personally and to create a meaning that's a story you've created in your mind based on the information that you have. That's probably not true.Yeah, I agree. Okay, well, I think that's it for today. We will be back next week. We're going to talk DCC and everything around it. And it's our anniversary. So we're going to have presents or something. We're going to have something. Something. Yeah. Then. Bye. Bye.

them a mess to her.

Oh, my God. Do you think that it's ubiquitous if everyone's made fun of someone with a big mole?

A big mole, someone's weight. It was also the '90s. I know. That was fair game. I mean, in a way that I really hope it's not now.

It also was me and a friend, and it also came back to us. The mom found out. She was the bus driver. This was such a nightmare, and we had to apologize. I think we also first tried to lie to get out of it. How?

What was the lie?

Exactly. I don't think it. I think there was no way to get out of it. I think we said somebody else said it, maybe, but we weren't specific about who. We weren't throwing anyone under her mom's bus. The boss. Yeah. But I I didn't. In many ways, I really was self-medicating, 100% undiagnosed anxiety, OCD. Drinking helped me so much. I still remember the first time I got drunk. I wasn't even into drinking, and I was scared of all of that. But I remember being at a party and accidentally getting drunk and then being like, Oh, my God, the noise stopped. All of a sudden, I'm at peace. It just became this amazing medicine for me in a very not great way that created other problems.That's so interesting because the way you just described it is the way so many addicts describe it. It's like the first time I drank, I knew this was the feeling I wanted to keep having. And quiet the noise is a very specific way of saying it. But then by the time I met you, I feel like you drank, but you never- Yeah, I think two things happened.One thing was work replaced it for me. So one time, honestly, I moved to New York, and there was so many exciting opportunities. I just worked weekends, and it definitely quieted the noise in a different way. And also I couldn't drink because I wouldn't be able to work a full day or whatever. And then I also think my body, I can't metabolize it. And I think that's literally a gift from the universe, where I don't feel well when I drink. And I think, again, I knew it was an issue. When the guy choked me on that date, I had a few drinks. Again, I didn't do anything to do. I didn't do that. But I just realized when I'm drinking, there are things that happen that I don't like. And then I think last summer when I had those unrelated health issues where I really needed to stop completely It was hard, but I think it was like a gift from the universe because I was like, Oh, I can do this. And it wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be, which was really nice. But in my 20s, I definitely had some not interventions, but like friends talking to me.And I think that would I never received it really well, but I think it affected me where I was like, Okay, this is something I need to think about.Interesting.Did you ever feel like you had an issue with drinking?I still wonder a little bit. I mean, I don't think the amount is ever problematic, how much I'm drinking in a time. But the frequency can be a little like when I really look at it or if I have to answer Certainly when the doctor is like, How many drinks per week? Then I feel that's a lot. But it is very confusing because for the most part, I mean, every now and then, no. But I'm very in control. It's like two drinks and it's fun. I've never been like, I got to keep going 7:00 AM. I've never been that. So it's a gray area. I think drinking in general is gray. It's not good for you. It's just straight up not good for you. Is poison. So why are we doing it is a question that anyone who drinks has to ask themselves, I think. What I have stopped doing, and I don't miss this, is drinking alone. If I'm here I would watch TV and have a glass of wine, which feels fine, right? But I think I decided to cut that out because then it was just... That's when it becomes habitual. That's my issue with it, actually, is more that it just quickly becomes habit as opposed to like, Oh, my God, I get out of control, or this happens, or these are the consequences.It's none of that. It's just like, Oh, boy, this is a habit. I've been doing this every day. You know? Yeah. So that's the thing I have to monitor is when it's transitioned into just like, Well, I'm just doing it because I do it, not because I want to have fun or have a glass of wine with pasta. Yeah.To me, it became clear that when I don't I want to do it, I can't not do it. That was the thing for me. It was like, oh, this is a problem, right? That's interesting. I don't know if you've ever felt that, right? I feel like if you don't want to drink, you don't drink.Yeah, I don't. And you know what's also interesting is I don't I wedding is going to be small. Is that a hint that I'm not getting invited? I saw one of our mutual friends, and he asked if I was going and mentioned how he received to save the date, which I did not get either. My husband thinks I should straight up ask him, Where's my invite? But I feel like if I'm not getting invited, then there must be a reason for it. Should I just let the wedding happen and ask after? To be I'm a little bit hurt as we've been friends since we were 12. What should I do?This is a tricky situation. My guess is if you know that Save the Dates went out, yeah, you're probably not invited. I understand wanting to know. Well, first of all, I wish you wouldn't talk about it in front of you. That's not that nice. But also maybe there's a reason that she can't know. We don't know the details, but my hope would be that what he said is probably true. They're probably keeping it super small and weddings are fucking expensive, and there's two people, not just him, who knows why. I think you have to take whatever he says at face value.I think so, too. Again, as a person who's not been to a lot of weddings, but from an outsider's perspective, 99% of weddings are about money. That's my perception that the decisions, even I was struggling. I had two weddings this summer, and I just couldn't afford to go to both of them. And so I was riddled with anxiety about having to tell or just I I felt that it was such a rejection or an emotional, I'm choosing one over the other, and it means this whole thing. At one point, it was just like, Oh, this is just a financial decision. I had to have so many conversations with so many friends, but they were like, People know that when they do weddings far away, there's always like, We understand if you can't make it. I think the other way around is also true. Obviously, if it was just an emotional decision, I'm sure you would be invited. But this is probably literally a financial one where there's just limited spots. They have a budget, so he's had to make some hard decisions. I don't think we should read into weddings. And again, I've been to weddings where I was invited, but someone else who I felt they were even closer to wasn't invited.What goes into those decisions? You know, there's so many things.There are so many.Basically, like, whether you're invited to someone's wedding is not a measure of your friendship. Yeah. I think. Even though it's totally normal to be hurt when you're expecting something and that doesn't happen. I mean, for all you know, again, like maybe the wife has jealous. Like, not Exactly. That I'm saying that this is a thing, but there could be a... It is not... To take that decision and to create a reason that you've made up in your head is just going to cause you. Make you upset. Yeah. Exactly. You have no idea. I don't know about confronting the person I just think this is a, you're probably not going to the wedding. Or maybe sometimes you get a last minute thing because aunt whatever can't make it, so you never know. But for now, I think I would assume you're not going. Yeah.To make peace with that. Yeah.Make peace with it. Again, it's really easy to say this, but to not take this personally and to create a meaning that's a story you've created in your mind based on the information that you have. That's probably not true.Yeah, I agree. Okay, well, I think that's it for today. We will be back next week. We're going to talk DCC and everything around it. And it's our anniversary. So we're going to have presents or something. We're going to have something. Something. Yeah. Then. Bye. Bye.

I didn't. In many ways, I really was self-medicating, 100% undiagnosed anxiety, OCD. Drinking helped me so much. I still remember the first time I got drunk. I wasn't even into drinking, and I was scared of all of that. But I remember being at a party and accidentally getting drunk and then being like, Oh, my God, the noise stopped. All of a sudden, I'm at peace. It just became this amazing medicine for me in a very not great way that created other problems.

That's so interesting because the way you just described it is the way so many addicts describe it. It's like the first time I drank, I knew this was the feeling I wanted to keep having. And quiet the noise is a very specific way of saying it. But then by the time I met you, I feel like you drank, but you never- Yeah, I think two things happened.

One thing was work replaced it for me. So one time, honestly, I moved to New York, and there was so many exciting opportunities. I just worked weekends, and it definitely quieted the noise in a different way. And also I couldn't drink because I wouldn't be able to work a full day or whatever. And then I also think my body, I can't metabolize it. And I think that's literally a gift from the universe, where I don't feel well when I drink. And I think, again, I knew it was an issue. When the guy choked me on that date, I had a few drinks. Again, I didn't do anything to do. I didn't do that. But I just realized when I'm drinking, there are things that happen that I don't like. And then I think last summer when I had those unrelated health issues where I really needed to stop completely It was hard, but I think it was like a gift from the universe because I was like, Oh, I can do this. And it wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be, which was really nice. But in my 20s, I definitely had some not interventions, but like friends talking to me.

And I think that would I never received it really well, but I think it affected me where I was like, Okay, this is something I need to think about.

Interesting.

Did you ever feel like you had an issue with drinking?

I still wonder a little bit. I mean, I don't think the amount is ever problematic, how much I'm drinking in a time. But the frequency can be a little like when I really look at it or if I have to answer Certainly when the doctor is like, How many drinks per week? Then I feel that's a lot. But it is very confusing because for the most part, I mean, every now and then, no. But I'm very in control. It's like two drinks and it's fun. I've never been like, I got to keep going 7:00 AM. I've never been that. So it's a gray area. I think drinking in general is gray. It's not good for you. It's just straight up not good for you. Is poison. So why are we doing it is a question that anyone who drinks has to ask themselves, I think. What I have stopped doing, and I don't miss this, is drinking alone. If I'm here I would watch TV and have a glass of wine, which feels fine, right? But I think I decided to cut that out because then it was just... That's when it becomes habitual. That's my issue with it, actually, is more that it just quickly becomes habit as opposed to like, Oh, my God, I get out of control, or this happens, or these are the consequences.

It's none of that. It's just like, Oh, boy, this is a habit. I've been doing this every day. You know? Yeah. So that's the thing I have to monitor is when it's transitioned into just like, Well, I'm just doing it because I do it, not because I want to have fun or have a glass of wine with pasta. Yeah.

To me, it became clear that when I don't I want to do it, I can't not do it. That was the thing for me. It was like, oh, this is a problem, right? That's interesting. I don't know if you've ever felt that, right? I feel like if you don't want to drink, you don't drink.

Yeah, I don't. And you know what's also interesting is I don't I wedding is going to be small. Is that a hint that I'm not getting invited? I saw one of our mutual friends, and he asked if I was going and mentioned how he received to save the date, which I did not get either. My husband thinks I should straight up ask him, Where's my invite? But I feel like if I'm not getting invited, then there must be a reason for it. Should I just let the wedding happen and ask after? To be I'm a little bit hurt as we've been friends since we were 12. What should I do?This is a tricky situation. My guess is if you know that Save the Dates went out, yeah, you're probably not invited. I understand wanting to know. Well, first of all, I wish you wouldn't talk about it in front of you. That's not that nice. But also maybe there's a reason that she can't know. We don't know the details, but my hope would be that what he said is probably true. They're probably keeping it super small and weddings are fucking expensive, and there's two people, not just him, who knows why. I think you have to take whatever he says at face value.I think so, too. Again, as a person who's not been to a lot of weddings, but from an outsider's perspective, 99% of weddings are about money. That's my perception that the decisions, even I was struggling. I had two weddings this summer, and I just couldn't afford to go to both of them. And so I was riddled with anxiety about having to tell or just I I felt that it was such a rejection or an emotional, I'm choosing one over the other, and it means this whole thing. At one point, it was just like, Oh, this is just a financial decision. I had to have so many conversations with so many friends, but they were like, People know that when they do weddings far away, there's always like, We understand if you can't make it. I think the other way around is also true. Obviously, if it was just an emotional decision, I'm sure you would be invited. But this is probably literally a financial one where there's just limited spots. They have a budget, so he's had to make some hard decisions. I don't think we should read into weddings. And again, I've been to weddings where I was invited, but someone else who I felt they were even closer to wasn't invited.What goes into those decisions? You know, there's so many things.There are so many.Basically, like, whether you're invited to someone's wedding is not a measure of your friendship. Yeah. I think. Even though it's totally normal to be hurt when you're expecting something and that doesn't happen. I mean, for all you know, again, like maybe the wife has jealous. Like, not Exactly. That I'm saying that this is a thing, but there could be a... It is not... To take that decision and to create a reason that you've made up in your head is just going to cause you. Make you upset. Yeah. Exactly. You have no idea. I don't know about confronting the person I just think this is a, you're probably not going to the wedding. Or maybe sometimes you get a last minute thing because aunt whatever can't make it, so you never know. But for now, I think I would assume you're not going. Yeah.To make peace with that. Yeah.Make peace with it. Again, it's really easy to say this, but to not take this personally and to create a meaning that's a story you've created in your mind based on the information that you have. That's probably not true.Yeah, I agree. Okay, well, I think that's it for today. We will be back next week. We're going to talk DCC and everything around it. And it's our anniversary. So we're going to have presents or something. We're going to have something. Something. Yeah. Then. Bye. Bye.

wedding is going to be small. Is that a hint that I'm not getting invited? I saw one of our mutual friends, and he asked if I was going and mentioned how he received to save the date, which I did not get either. My husband thinks I should straight up ask him, Where's my invite? But I feel like if I'm not getting invited, then there must be a reason for it. Should I just let the wedding happen and ask after? To be I'm a little bit hurt as we've been friends since we were 12. What should I do?

This is a tricky situation. My guess is if you know that Save the Dates went out, yeah, you're probably not invited. I understand wanting to know. Well, first of all, I wish you wouldn't talk about it in front of you. That's not that nice. But also maybe there's a reason that she can't know. We don't know the details, but my hope would be that what he said is probably true. They're probably keeping it super small and weddings are fucking expensive, and there's two people, not just him, who knows why. I think you have to take whatever he says at face value.

I think so, too. Again, as a person who's not been to a lot of weddings, but from an outsider's perspective, 99% of weddings are about money. That's my perception that the decisions, even I was struggling. I had two weddings this summer, and I just couldn't afford to go to both of them. And so I was riddled with anxiety about having to tell or just I I felt that it was such a rejection or an emotional, I'm choosing one over the other, and it means this whole thing. At one point, it was just like, Oh, this is just a financial decision. I had to have so many conversations with so many friends, but they were like, People know that when they do weddings far away, there's always like, We understand if you can't make it. I think the other way around is also true. Obviously, if it was just an emotional decision, I'm sure you would be invited. But this is probably literally a financial one where there's just limited spots. They have a budget, so he's had to make some hard decisions. I don't think we should read into weddings. And again, I've been to weddings where I was invited, but someone else who I felt they were even closer to wasn't invited.

What goes into those decisions? You know, there's so many things.

There are so many.

Basically, like, whether you're invited to someone's wedding is not a measure of your friendship. Yeah. I think. Even though it's totally normal to be hurt when you're expecting something and that doesn't happen. I mean, for all you know, again, like maybe the wife has jealous. Like, not Exactly. That I'm saying that this is a thing, but there could be a... It is not... To take that decision and to create a reason that you've made up in your head is just going to cause you. Make you upset. Yeah. Exactly. You have no idea. I don't know about confronting the person I just think this is a, you're probably not going to the wedding. Or maybe sometimes you get a last minute thing because aunt whatever can't make it, so you never know. But for now, I think I would assume you're not going. Yeah.

To make peace with that. Yeah.

Make peace with it. Again, it's really easy to say this, but to not take this personally and to create a meaning that's a story you've created in your mind based on the information that you have. That's probably not true.

Yeah, I agree. Okay, well, I think that's it for today. We will be back next week. We're going to talk DCC and everything around it. And it's our anniversary. So we're going to have presents or something. We're going to have something. Something. Yeah. Then. Bye. Bye.