Transcribe your podcast
[00:00:13]

Hi, Liz.

[00:00:14]

Hi. Are you in a hotel?

[00:00:16]

No, I'm at Heather's place in her guest room. So no bunk bed for me.

[00:00:24]

No bunk bed. Do you miss it?

[00:00:26]

You know, I don't.

[00:00:29]

That's That's understandable. How are you? How's LA? La is good. We're just coming out of a holiday weekend. It was very chill. It was nice.

[00:00:39]

Did you relax? Did you take time off? I wasn't sure if you were going to work.

[00:00:42]

I worked some, but I had some relaxation time. I've been watching a ton of Doody Yesterday's Flightless Bird, 6 feet Under.

[00:00:52]

You're still in your 6 feet Under, binge.

[00:00:54]

I'm on season 2 now. It's so interesting. It makes me want to talk about death with you?

[00:01:00]

I feel like that's one of our top three topics.

[00:01:03]

Definitely one of our top three thoughts, for sure. But first, I want to hear because you're in New York, and you've been in New York for about a week.

[00:01:10]

Yes, I've been here for a week. It's been the best. The only thing that rivals May, New York, is September, New York. I think I'd still choose May, although I do love September. But within a few minutes of getting here, I thought of you. I didn't text you about it because I wanted to tell you on the show, but I had a married man event. Oh, my God. Within the first few minutes of just walking in the streets.

[00:01:33]

What happened? So a meeting outside.

[00:01:37]

We'll do a shout out, Sweet Green. I don't think they need it.

[00:01:39]

Wow. That's not what I expected in New York. Liz.

[00:01:44]

I'm basic, okay? Also, to be clear, I was a Sweet Green. I was part of the OG group. I liked Sweet Green before everyone else did when it was just like there was one shop in the West Village. Anyway, I don't know. I just needed something fast and quick, and I just sat outside and ate my salad. And then this guy walked by. He looks at me, and then I look at him, and then he double takes, and then I look at him again. And then I'm like, Okay, whatever. Keep eating my salad. Then he U-turns, comes back, and he's like, Hey, are you Liz? And I was like, Yeah. He's like, I've been following your work. And then we are totally blurting. Then at one point, he's like, Should I sit down? And I was like, yeah.

[00:02:20]

Oh, my God. What?

[00:02:23]

Literally half an hour into this conversation, I notice the ring. Not to victim blame, but at this point, I guess I got to scan the hands. I just assumed, based on the vibe, that this was full on. And so then I see the ring, and I'm so confused because, again, at the beginning, one of the things he said was like, oh, I don't drink. I was like, Yeah, I stopped drinking a while ago. How do you find dating? I asked him a literal question about dating. He didn't say, I'm married.

[00:02:51]

What? Wait, this is so bad. I know. Of him.

[00:02:58]

Well, at one point, he was like, Let's get breakfast while here. And I was like, You're married, right? And then he's like, Yeah, but my wife is a big fan. I've been texting her. I'm with Liz Frank. And then I was like, Okay, we're not meeting for breakfast. Thank you. But it ended in a jovial matter. But I was left Just, I think I'm just not going to be open to hot strangers who are my age.

[00:03:20]

What was the conversation you were having? I think this is indicative. Was it about your work?

[00:03:26]

Not really. It was all over the making jokes about Seinfeld episodes that we liked. It wasn't like you're hot. It wasn't sexual, which would have been weird anyways, but it was definitely, to me, flirty. But I guess if you're texting your wife about it, it's fine. Weird. Anyway, so yeah, I just legitimately don't... I guess it's a thing women will be like, check men's hands for rings, and I think I don't... I just go off a vibe, I guess. I also feel like a lot of people aren't married or are divorced, so I don't think about it. But But I guess I have to.

[00:04:01]

Well, also in Canada, they don't get married as much, you said. So maybe you're just not as aware of the ring.

[00:04:06]

Yes. Well, it's not. Yes. There are other ways of signifying your love to each other than getting married.

[00:04:13]

I will say I do think I look at that more than I think. If there is a hot guy, I do think I scan their hand quickly. It's almost subconscious. I think it's ingrained here. Even though I like that in Canada, they show their love much different ways, I will say this is easy to just see like, Oh, yeah, no.

[00:04:34]

Yes. This has cemented the need for me to be a little bit less optimistic. I mean, it was a nice conversation. If I'd known he was married, I probably would have. I mean, anyway, we've already talked about this, but he got so much validation out of it, and I was just like, Okay, now I feel worse.

[00:04:50]

Exactly.

[00:04:50]

I don't want to continue this hang out. But he was very confused, and I was like, I don't know how else to explain this to you.

[00:04:59]

Okay, if you were married here in America, and so you had rings, and then your husband said... Because I know this about a lot of men. They don't like it. They say it's comfort, right? To be fair, most men aren't as used to having jewelry on their hand as women are. Stereotypically, I'm speaking in generalizations there, obviously. But I know some men who don't want to wear it or don't wear it or Dax doesn't have one. He has a tattoo instead of a Bell. I think another one of my friends says something like that because they don't like the feeling of the jewelry. But what would happen if you were married and then a month in, your husband said, Liz, I just hate this ring. I don't like wearing it. I fidget with it all the time. All I do is take it off and drop it, and I don't want to wear it anymore. What you say?

[00:06:00]

That's such a good question. I know I shouldn't be putting things out there that are bad, but I'm going to put it out there that if I ever get married, there's a 99 %. I've already accepted that I will probably lose the ring.

[00:06:13]

Oh, my God.

[00:06:14]

It's just going to happen. I lose really important things all the time. I identify with... Well, maybe it wouldn't be the discomfort as much as the fear that I would lose it. My Invisalign, to me, is the closest thing to an engagement ring. I that a lot of times. You need to put it down and remember where you put it down. And so I don't think I would mind. I guess if I have no inkling that this is because he wants to flirt with people, if the relationship is secure. Right? Everything depends on the relationship being secure. Of course. There's so many times that I've been so upset about things when I've dated one person and then can't imagine being upset over that with another person, right? And when I look back at those relationships, I'm like, it made so much sense in the context of the relationship because the relationship wasn't secure. And so if the relationship was really secure, yeah, I probably wouldn't mind. And then it'd be cool. You can get matching tattoos, which is fun.

[00:07:08]

How would you feel? I do understand the idea that that's not comfortable. But I also like the idea of my husband having an acknowledgement of our marriage on their person. I do like that because I guess I'm so traditional. I'm a trad wife. I'm going to be a trad wife.

[00:07:30]

You becoming a trad wife would be the biggest plot twist in American history.

[00:07:36]

I know. I want that to happen.

[00:07:38]

This actually is something I've been thinking about. Do you ever think about doing a full pivot? There's this Republican senator, or sorry, he's running for office. I can't remember where, but he was an NFL player, was super pro Black Lives Matter, was a huge advocate, and now he's totally done a 180. He recently said that women are becoming too mouthy.

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That's the quote Why is that the new thing circling our streets?

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Our streets?

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I mean, what the fuck?

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It's really concerning. Anyway, I was just reading about this guy, and he just basically did this 180 where he was very progressive, and he's on Alex Jones. He's full on conspiracy theory. Women have gone too mouthy. Republican Senate candidate in Minnesota, Royce White. And sorry, he was a former pro basketball player.

[00:08:27]

That's you being mouthy, getting it wrong. Exactly.

[00:08:31]

Exactly. Mouthy is also so coded.

[00:08:35]

Who put that thumbs up? Did you notice that little thumbs up?

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Oh, to me? Oh, yeah.

[00:08:40]

Yours is doing all kinds of stuff.

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It'll do a heart.

[00:08:44]

Oh, wow.

[00:08:45]

I mean, thumbs up also means fuck you in text speak.

[00:08:49]

Oh, it does?

[00:08:50]

It's like putting a period at the end of a text.

[00:08:52]

Oh, I don't... No, no, no, no, no, If you thumbs up a text, the thumbs up, you can heart a text now.

[00:09:04]

If you thumbs up something, Rob just thumbs up my last text. If you thumbs up something, it's like no worries with a period. It means fine.

[00:09:14]

I disagree. It depends on who you're talking to. I think thumbs up is professional. It depends on who I'm talking to and what I'm doing, but I don't always like a heart. Heart is very familiar, and sometimes whatever we're talking about isn't conducive to a I'm all for a thumbs up.

[00:09:31]

I'll use it if someone's like, I'll be there in five minutes, or like, Do you want the low fat yogurt? Then I'll thumbs up it as a shorthand to yes. But I think if it's like, Kat's boyfriend, they together. And Kat's boyfriend had done a favor for Kat's parents. And so he sent this text saying like, Hey, I just emptied out your... And then Kat's dad, like, thumbs uped it. And Kat had to explain to her dad the difference between a heart and a thumbs up. That a thumbs up can come across as a little bit not passive-aggressive. It's just like, why aren't you writing something? It feels like you're doing that instead of engaging with what the person is saying.

[00:10:11]

But that's the whole point of those things is so you don't have to engage. It's just like, I'm acknowledging this, but there's no reason to be writing anything because you don't feel that way with the heart. Heart's the same thing.

[00:10:25]

Okay, I'm just thinking of a situation with my roommate. Let's say that I'm like, Hey, I accidentally used some of your eggs, going to replace them. If she were to like, thumbs up that.

[00:10:35]

Instead of like, no worries.

[00:10:37]

Yeah. I think I would be like, Oh, she must be.

[00:10:40]

I see. I mean, but if she just hearted it, I would feel the same way. I do think if you're apologizing for something or you're showing up with some emotion and the response is only one of those little shortcuts, then I agree it is a little passive aggressive, regardless of what the actual thing is.

[00:10:59]

And I think there's still a tear that the heart would hurt a little less, but the thumbs up would signal. I think you're right that in some situations, putting a heart is weird or too intimate.

[00:11:10]

Yeah, it's too intimate. The heart is intimate.

[00:11:13]

But what do you think is sending up Purple Heart versus hearting something is different, though?

[00:11:19]

Happy Memorial Day. Purple hearts are for Happy Memorial Day. If you send me a Purple Heart, I know you're saying Happy Memorial Day. If you send me a Blue Heart, I think you're saying, I'm at the If you send a red heart, classic. Pink heart, I'm a baby.

[00:11:36]

Or the hand heart. I just think there's tears. I feel like there's a conversation about this. At first, even if you're dating someone, you don't send a red heart. No. You can send a purple heart.

[00:11:47]

No. No hearts at first.

[00:11:49]

Well, not the first date. But if you guys are dating, I think it's fine.

[00:11:53]

So you only send red hearts if you've said, I love you?

[00:11:56]

Well, maybe not I love you, but that you're exclusive, that you're clearly You're falling in love.

[00:12:01]

Interesting. I am a smiley-face girl for a while. It's going to be a minute before you get a heart. Most people don't. I mean, most people I'm dating, I mean. I don't get far enough in that they've received hearts.

[00:12:14]

Have you ever sent a red heart?

[00:12:15]

I mean, it's hard for me to know because I send them all the time to my friends. I do send red hearts a lot, but dating?

[00:12:23]

Do you send red hearts to guys that you're not dating that are your friends? Or is that an I mean, I don't think it is.

[00:12:32]

I think I sent a red heart to Charlie this morning.

[00:12:34]

I would feel a little weird about it. If it happened, I would be like, I should probably choose a different color.

[00:12:40]

Any of the people in my close friend group, Dax, Charlie, Eric, Matt, Jess, definitely, they all get red hearts from me. Am I skipping some? Ryan. Yeah, they all get red hearts. I have no worries about that. But that's because they're all family. It's a different tier. You know what's interesting? Well, I was going to say I don't know if I would send a red heart to Calleigh's husband, but maybe I would. I think I would. Now I'm just overthinking it. If it's anyone I feel safe with, then yeah, I feel fine about it. I think I've sent Rob a red heart.

[00:13:20]

Have I? Yeah, I think so. There you go. Oh, wow. See, in the case of Charlie and Eric and all that stuff, you're friends of them independently. They're not your friend's boyfriend or husband.

[00:13:29]

They're your Individual relationships.

[00:13:31]

Yeah. Heather's boyfriend, I would never send her a red heart. That would be weird.

[00:13:35]

That's so inappropriate.

[00:13:37]

It would be insane. Oh, my God. No, but it would make me... Yeah, I would just not do that. It's different if they're your friend versus... I mean, it's all these relationships are so funny.

[00:13:50]

Hold on. I want to check something. Okay. I thought for a second that I sent a red heart to someone I was talking to for a second who me, but I didn't. I just checked.

[00:14:01]

Thank God, dodged a bullet. Oh, my God. He does not deserve, not even a Purple Heart.

[00:14:08]

He doesn't deserve Memorial Day?

[00:14:09]

He doesn't deserve any heart emoji.

[00:14:12]

What do you think yellow heart means? Happy spring.

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I feel like yellow heart is the least romantic.

[00:14:18]

Okay, very friendly.

[00:14:20]

Yeah, very friendly, unassuming, non-threatening. It's light.

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I'm not a yellow heart girl. Yellow heart girls are like Hufflepuffs. Sorry. I know there's so many Hufflepuffs out there, and they're great. I'm not against Huffles, but that's a very friendly, warm person who sends a yellow heart. It's not my personality.

[00:14:41]

What do you think is the most popular color of heart?

[00:14:44]

Red.

[00:14:45]

I feel like it's probably purple.

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You think it's purple? I think it's pink or red. Rob, can you look it up? Yeah. We're all on Zoom for the listener. I don't like purple. There's something about purple, even though purple is my favorite color, there's something Something about it that gives me like… Yeah, it's the red one. Yes.

[00:15:04]

Is there a first, second, and third?

[00:15:05]

I'm seeing meanings. There's Purple Heart, commonly used to represent love, support, close bonds, and admiration for things. Blue, loyalty, trust, and tranquility. Green is nature, growth, and harmony. That's very obvious.

[00:15:20]

I've never used green in my life.

[00:15:22]

Oh, I've used green. Sometimes I like trying them out. Yellow is liking and friendship as opposed to romantic love.

[00:15:29]

There we go.

[00:15:29]

There we go. Yeah, we knew. It's all pretty intuitive.

[00:15:31]

I mean, these are definitions that are etched in stone.

[00:15:36]

Although to me, purple has a sadness to it, so that's why I don't love it. Blue has a little bit of a sadness to it, but also in a sexy way. It's like a longing.

[00:15:48]

Oh, interesting.

[00:15:49]

Blue is in I miss you for me.

[00:15:50]

Yeah, there's some depth to blue.

[00:15:52]

Oh, ding, ding, ding. Oh, depth. I thought you said death.

[00:15:59]

Death is depth.

[00:16:01]

Oh, God. Tell me about it.

[00:16:03]

But do you want to talk about death or do you want to just keep talking about emojis?

[00:16:06]

I think we've exhausted emojis. Well, we haven't, actually, because Dax and I got in a, not a fight, but a quarrel about an emoji because I've been using this girl a little bit.

[00:16:18]

Yeah, you told me. You know this girl? You've been using it on me, too. Yeah, I like it.

[00:16:23]

I like her. I want to be her. I think that's, to me, she's carefree. She's like, I don't care. It's fine. Whatever.

[00:16:31]

Strug emoji.

[00:16:32]

Dax thinks that's apathetic, which it is, but I take that in a positive way. Apathetic, it doesn't really matter. Who cares?

[00:16:41]

Nonchalant.

[00:16:42]

Yeah, nonchalant. You know what I don't feel about? Death at all. Okay, something horrible happened. I've been watching 6 feet Under, show about death. We've talked about it, and it's old, so it's fun because it's from early 2000s, early '80s. When we When we did this episode of Flightless Bird, we showed scenes from our favorite episodes. One of David's favorite episodes is the finale of the series. He showed the final scene, which is how everyone passes, basically. It was so beautiful, but I didn't know any of the characters, so it didn't mean anything. It was just like, Oh, wow. Yeah, that's a beautiful ending. Yesterday, I was editing that episode, and while I was editing it, I I thought, Oh, I want to rewatch that. Bad idea for a few reasons. One, it was then so devastating because now I know them. Two, there was a huge spoiler. It was so bad, and I was crying so hard for so long. I couldn't get over it. It was getting very existential. I could not believe people die.

[00:17:56]

It's really not okay.

[00:17:58]

It's not nice.

[00:17:59]

We do not think about death nearly as much as we should because it would make life very difficult. If you were thinking about the fact that every single person around you or you could die at any moment, you wouldn't want to go to work. You wouldn't want to do the boring things of life. You would just want to enjoy every single moment that you have with that every single person. But it's wild that we don't think about it.

[00:18:20]

I know. It's the only way out. That final scene of the show, because at the beginning of the show, I think we talked about this, the cold open is a death, and then that's the person in the casket for the episode. There's a little scene where somebody dies, and then the screen goes white, and you see Jeffrey K. Williams, 1959 to 2001. Then the show starts. I just had this It's overwhelming. I was just going through all the people in my head and thinking, We are all going to have a timestamp, and we don't know what it is. It is so overwhelming. My therapist told me to start doing some more present moment practices, and obviously, I haven't been doing them. So this is not the show for me to be doing right now when I'm supposed to be doing present moment practices, but it's so good.

[00:19:11]

Thinking about death does make you appreciate the present moment. We But, weirdly, I feel like turning 37, for whatever reason, the number just feels closer to 40. I mean, it's the closest to 40 I've ever been, obviously. But there's something about it where in the last few months, I've been weirdly realizing it's going to end. 40 is so young, and I'm not even 40. But weirdly, I've gone from being, quote, unquote, young or feeling like, whatever, you don't think about how much time you'll have, to now I do. And it's nice. It does make me appreciate my life a little bit more, when I can connect with that deeper, instead of just wrinkles or noticing I'm getting old in negative ways. I'm like, Oh, wow. This goes by fast. I relate to old people now, the way that old people talk, where they're like, One day, you're going to blink, or my parents were in their 70s being like, I still feel like I'm 27. Like, Oh, right. I'm going to feel this way, even when I'm their age, I just relate to aging in a I'm aware of what I think. But you're young, you're still 36.

[00:20:18]

Does this allow you to be thankful for life, or are you just in the anxiety part?

[00:20:23]

I was really in high anxiety mode, but then I did step I mean, it's such a cliché. It just sounds so cheesy. But death is why life is meaningful. If we didn't have it, it wouldn't be. And so it's such a fucked up divine, tragic comedy that we all come here, we all fall in love, and then we all experience death. It's crazy. Life is crazy that it's designed this way. It's beautiful. It is beautiful that we all have some time on this Earth and we do stuff here, and then we leave.

[00:21:02]

Sometimes you need that. It's like, I felt like the Eclipse did that for me for some weird reason. Because you don't think about life while you're living. You just live. It's like you don't think about breathing while you breathe. When you're not able to breathe is when you really think about breathing, and that's all you can think about, right?

[00:21:15]

Yeah. Heimlich.

[00:21:16]

Coming back to the Heimlich.

[00:21:18]

Self-imposed Heimlich. But no, you're right.

[00:21:21]

And so the Eclipse for me was like, I don't think about the fact that we're living in this universe. That's wild. The solar system in the universe and we're on a floating rock. Yeah, I don't think about that on a daily basis, but the Eclipse forces you to, and you're like, What? Life is so enchanting and magic.

[00:21:43]

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[00:22:56]

Sync is sponsored by Better Help. We love We love better help. We love therapy. We talk about it all the time. The benefits are... You can't even quantify or qualify the benefits over time. My therapist said is a phrase that comes out of my mouth four times a day.

[00:23:16]

I feel like I've benefited so much from other people being in therapy, too. I just feel like friends and family and in my relationships, if I know that someone is in therapy or has done therapy, I know it's going be so much more of a healthier, easier relationship. Totally. Yeah. Just the world is so much better when more of us are in therapy.

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I also had the thought, and this is not to alienate anyone, because I really understand religiosity, and I understand the need and the desire to believe in a divine power or someone or something that's orchestrating all of this. I get it. But also it feels to me sometimes that that idea and that mentality, giving ownership to a God, robs life of its actual magic. It is magic. All of this is incredible. It's almost hard to believe it's real. I think sometimes handing it over to a God is unfair a little bit because I think it's special on its own. It's like life is beautiful and wonderful and magical and awful and all these things on its own. I know often we need answers and we need reasons and we need control, and that's why a lot of these things sprout. But I don't know. To me, it's okay that we just all exist and that's special on its own.

[00:25:23]

Yeah. I think having a higher power, from my understanding of it, it's actually relinquishing control, realizing that in many ways, the weather system is God. You don't have to, I think, believe in a guy in the sky to believe in God. There are forces that are beyond us. And so it's a way to relinquish, actually, the idea that, yeah, you're in control here, or you're the complete master of your own faith, which I've had to work really hard because it helps me when I think that there's a higher meaning or a higher order, and that me trying to do everything I can to reverse that is just making the universe laugh. Because it's so much more powerful than me. But I see your point, meaning that you don't even need to create someone that's pulling the strings in order to be in awe.

[00:26:08]

I think everyone should believe whatever they believe, and whatever gets you through is great. But I even think needing there to be a force bigger than us in order to say, You know what, I don't have control here, is also a mechanism, right? As opposed to just knowing this is part of the existence, you don't have control. I mean, it's just much harder, but I don't know. I just find it interesting interesting. And then I do think there is control in a lot of organized religions about afterlife and stuff. There is like, well, if I do this, then I have that after. And that comes, I do believe, from needing security and safety that I'll see these people again, which I get. I wish I believed it because I think I would be so much less upset and anxious. Oh, yeah, it's all fine. I'll see them again.

[00:26:57]

That was the hardest part of doing any 12 Step for me was this higher power stuff because I was never raised in that. It still is hard for me. I'm jealous of people who just do it naturally or effortlessly or really believe it, whereas I have to really get in the mood.

[00:27:13]

But love is a higher power. When you think about what happens to you when you're in love or love somebody, it's profound. It's intangible, and it is the real source of life.

[00:27:27]

And so, Sankt, you said that because one of my friends just yesterday was talking about how relationships have higher powers. She was like, Oh, you don't have to figure out this thing. Your relationship with this person has a higher power. And just that, I was like, Oh, wow, that's so nice to think about, Yeah, I don't have to do all these things or figure it out or fix it or like, right? That there's a higher order of things, and it'll happen if it's meant to happen, and it won't if it doesn't. Takes away some of the, on my end, neuroticism around it. But yeah, that's It's literally what she said. It's so funny. It's very similar to what you just shared, which is a helpful way to approach dating and any relationship, whatever that means to you, right? I mean, some people, it's the whole no free will thing, that there's no free will anyways. I don't have to go down rabbit holes or control everything, right? Because it's already decided in a way.

[00:28:20]

I know. I'm on the fence about free will. I don't think it's all or nothing. I think a lot of people in this debate do think it's all or nothing. I definitely, like when we had Robert Sapolsky on and his book, Determined, is about determinism and free will. Some people ask us a lot, what's the one thing you've taken from the show, from Armchair, after doing 700 episodes or whatever, which is hard to answer. Normally, my answer is that no one knows anything, actually, because you hear from this expert, and they know everything, and then another expert on the same topic that also knows everything has It's a completely different take. Again, it's not all or nothing. It's we take pieces. But anyway, I think actually something that has changed my perspective after doing this show is this Robert Sapolsky episode because he really... I mean, we know it ephemorally, but this is the first time it stuck with me, that we do not have any control over our fundamental circumstances in life. And that sets the stage for life in such- Everything. And literally everything in such a real way. And so it has changed my opinion on so many things.

[00:29:38]

One, everyone who's just trying to take credit for the things they have. Sorry, you can't. And also easing up on people, just not being so punitive, not being so judgmental. It's like no one chose, even when people make horrible decisions. And I'm not saying we shouldn't have a justice system. There should be repercussions and consequences, but there should also be grace across the board and a lack of judgment and definitely a lack of superiority because there's so much like, Oh, my God, I would never do that. I could never do that. Yeah, you could never because you have a life that's completely different than that person's, and you have no idea what you are capable of doing in that circumstance. So it's definitely changed the way I view that.

[00:30:24]

It's a great thing to remember that particularly the most important things of your life were totally determined.

[00:30:31]

And the things you think you worked so hard for, you did. No one's taking away that you worked hard, but the ability to work harder, the things behind that, you didn't pick, and you got lucky. We're all so lucky.

[00:30:44]

We are so lucky.

[00:30:45]

Anywho, anything else on death before we do questions?

[00:30:49]

I wanted to ask you about the hot rodent boyfriend trend. What's that?

[00:30:53]

Oh, my God. Hot rodent? Eew. I already hate this, but I want to hear it. I know. Also, look, when I went to the store the other day, a different store, they had my soaps that were on last week's gift guide.

[00:31:07]

I can smell them all the way from here.

[00:31:09]

This one is a new scent, orange, and it smells so good.

[00:31:13]

I can't wait to come smell it. It's such a weird thing to say.

[00:31:17]

Okay, what's Hot Rodent?

[00:31:19]

Okay, Hot Rodent Boyfriend is we're moving away from Golden Retriever Boyfriend, which was the previous ideal of the boyfriend that is very doting and overly interested in pleasing and being of service. And now Hot Rodent Boyfriend Summer, it's coming from the Challenger's movie. Apparently, there were a lot of memes, Internet commentary about the fact that the two guys in the movie look like rats.

[00:31:46]

Oh, my God. That's so rude.

[00:31:47]

Not in a negative way. What? I guess there's a movie with rats from our childhood or something like that. And women have been like, Oh, I had such a crush on the rat in the movie. Do you know how we definitely all had crushes on cartoon characters? I don't know who your man crush or female crush was or animal crush, which sounds weird, but when you're a kid.

[00:32:08]

I've just never liked animals or cartoons.

[00:32:11]

You wouldn't have fucked with Simba.

[00:32:12]

Fucked Simba or fucked with?

[00:32:14]

Fucked with. Fucked with. Oh, my God.

[00:32:18]

Simba's a baby.

[00:32:19]

And most importantly, a lion.

[00:32:21]

I think that- In the order of- Yeah, just the things you don't want to do. No, actually, for me, worst is that he's a child. Then he's a lion. Then he's a cartoon. Yes.

[00:32:34]

Well, human baby versus animal, I would have to... Yeah. But baby lion, I would focus on the lion part.

[00:32:40]

Okay, lion piece. Well, this is telling. If we're talking about that movie in particular, the most attractive one to me isn't Simba. Simba is so childlike, obviously, because he's a child. It'd be Mufasa. Oh, twist.

[00:32:56]

You like Mufasa even though he's the villain?

[00:32:58]

No, Mufasa is the He's a dad. Oh. Scar is the villain.

[00:33:03]

Scar. Okay. For a minute, I thought you meant Scar, and I was like, We got to do a deep dive on that.

[00:33:08]

No, Mufasa, the nice dad who dies. Spoiler.

[00:33:12]

Is it your fetish that you would have taken care of him while he was dying?

[00:33:15]

Yeah, Tauly. But also, no, he was this capable, strong, nice dad.

[00:33:22]

And then they killed him. I mean, Disney movies and killing parents, it is so fucked up. The way they just killed so many parents. Yeah.

[00:33:29]

Who's the hottest This character.

[00:33:31]

I had a major crush on Thumper and the Skunk. What's her name and Bambi? Let me look her up. I wanted both of them. But that was a common theme for me as a kid. I was obsessed with couples because I think I was already bisexual.

[00:33:49]

Oh, interesting.

[00:33:50]

I love Lois and Clark.

[00:33:51]

Lois and Clark, the Explorers?

[00:33:53]

No, no, no. With Laurie, what's her name? Tori Spelling.

[00:33:58]

Oh, like Superman Terry Hatcher.

[00:34:01]

Terry Hatcher. Oh, my God. Wait.

[00:34:02]

And then Christopher Reeves. Dean Cain. Okay, hold on. You're making me look up a lot of stuff. The skunk's name in Bambi is Flour.

[00:34:09]

Oh, it's Flour? It's such a hot name. Flour and Bumper.

[00:34:13]

Dean Cain is an American actor and police officer.

[00:34:16]

I interviewed him recently, and I told him I had such a crush on him, even though we have vastly different political beliefs. He's on the other end.

[00:34:23]

Yeah, I'm not liking some of these things I'm seeing. Yeah, yeah.

[00:34:28]

I It would be an unlikely romance. But I loved couples. I think I just wanted to be in a threesome. I don't know. We all do, right? We're just obsessed with certain couples. You know, Jennifer.

[00:34:40]

It's very common.

[00:34:42]

Yeah, those were my... But then I also love Prince Eric. I mean, I loved all of it. I ate it all up. Aladdin and Jasmine, both of them were so hot.

[00:34:50]

Yeah. This is unfortunate. I can't really relate. I don't think I was drawn very much to make believe, especially when it was like cartoon that was too far away. I couldn't fantasize about that because it was so obviously not real, even when I was little. When I was young, I was not scared of monsters because those aren't real. I was scared of kidnappers and robbers. Those are real dangers. And so I think it worked the same way with attraction. When I was in love with that boy's dad. Got it. He was a real boy and a real man. All right. And he was hot.

[00:35:31]

Wow. That's interesting. When you did like kid stuff, were you a little embarrassed? Were you like, This is not cool. This is a kid thing?

[00:35:40]

I think the opposite. I was probably like, I should like this. Everyone likes it. Oh, wow. But I don't.

[00:35:47]

Interesting.

[00:35:48]

Disney movies didn't really do it for me in the way that they did for so many people. I mean, I did like Lion King. I will say that one really stood out.

[00:35:58]

You didn't like the Disney Princess?

[00:35:59]

Like Little Merme? Not really. Wow. I did, but girls are obsessed with specifically the Disney princesses, and they have the figurines and little dollies. And I didn't, and I didn't care.

[00:36:13]

I'm so surprising because I would have thought because there's such a fancy element to it, right? Of these perfect... I mean, that's what the Disney princess is. Sure, you want to be the girl, but you also want to fall in love like that, right? You want the love and the Night of Shining armor. But you didn't relate to that.

[00:36:29]

No, it is It's weird. In real life movies, you did, though. Yes. Live action had my art. Say by the... I had crushes on all the real people, live-action. But the cartoons, not so much. And you're right, it's weird that I didn't even connect with their love. The strongest pull was Mufasa dying and then leaving his family.

[00:36:52]

And did you cry? You still attached to the story or you were still like, This isn't real?

[00:36:57]

I was very attached to him dying. I think my mom cried in Lion King, and I think that's in my head. She took me to the movie theater and she cried. I barely have seen her cry. I think that was ding, ding, ding, scar ink.

[00:37:15]

Right. That your mom is upset. You don't want to see your... I mean, at that age or even now.

[00:37:21]

I never want to. It's too traumatic.

[00:37:24]

Yeah, I can't. It's unsettling.

[00:37:26]

We're not stable in that way. I wish we were.

[00:37:29]

Me too.

[00:37:30]

I think we'd be better off.

[00:37:32]

There's a version of us in a universe coming back to... I don't think everything's predetermined, but I think that it's everything everyone wants. There's a universe where you end up with this person that you ended up rejecting or passing over. And I think there's a version of the universe where we're more stable and we're totally different. That's fun to think about. Wait, card's full?

[00:37:55]

No. Uh-oh.

[00:37:56]

Okay, wait, wait, wait.

[00:37:58]

I wonder how long you got. I know. But we have this, thank God, backup.

[00:38:02]

But should I dump and then rejoin?

[00:38:05]

What should she do, Rob? Yeah, or if you have another card, but you probably don't. I would just try to delete some stuff off that, but make sure you don't delete what we have.

[00:38:14]

Okay, let me Oh, my God. Thank God, it looked.

[00:38:17]

Oh, my God. So scary.

[00:38:19]

Okay, so if I stop it.

[00:38:21]

But don't delete what you... Yeah, don't delete what you just recorded. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:38:25]

Let's try this again. Okay. Is 8 gigs a small card?

[00:38:31]

Yep. Okay. Monica's got a 128 gig card probably. Oh, shit. Okay, we're back. Back, baby. Okay, so Hot Rodent, boyfriend. Yeah. I just looked it up. We had a little bit of a technical difficulty, and while we were dealing with it, I looked it up. And yeah, I guess the Challenger's Boys are apparently like Roddy St. James, the rat from Flushed Away, and Stuart Little. But I don't know Flushed Away.

[00:39:04]

Me neither. I think that's maybe a Gen Z era. We were really too old. I don't know it either. But yeah, girls had crushes, I guess, on those characters.

[00:39:14]

On Roddy St. James.

[00:39:16]

Again, it sounds like a negative, but it's not that they have rat-like features and that this fits in the category of Jeremy White-Allen.

[00:39:24]

Jeremy Allen-White. Jeremy Allen-White.

[00:39:26]

I don't not get it. I'm just not a Stan.

[00:39:29]

I like I so get it. That's why I think Hot Rodent boyfriend is just what I want as a boyfriend. That's my type, I think. Well, what's happening with their personalities?

[00:39:38]

Personality is they're sweet, but they're a little dirty.

[00:39:42]

Oh, like sexually?

[00:39:43]

No, I think just they have a scruff. Again, Golden Retriever is preppy-coated and proper- Polo shirts. Exactly. Whereas Hot Rodent, it's like a Chalamet. I think it's a little more feminine, to be honest.

[00:39:56]

But I don't think Jeremy Allen-White is feminine at all.

[00:40:00]

Interesting.

[00:40:00]

Because his body is not... God, we're getting into scary territory. But he's not finnily. To me, it's more of the frame that makes it... These Challenger's boys are not stick thin. Are they? Actually, I don't know enough about them.

[00:40:18]

I mean, they're pretty skinny. They're muscular, though. Right.

[00:40:21]

And so's Jeremy Allen-White. He's very muscular.

[00:40:24]

Totally. Pedro Pascal is a little rodent.

[00:40:27]

Really? He's so hot.

[00:40:29]

Yeah, he's hot. But it's true that it's a little rougher. He's not like a Brad Pitt.

[00:40:35]

Clean, cut. I mean, Brad Pitt can get scruffy, but his face is just so pretty. Support for Sinkt comes from Vagamor. I love Vagamor. I was at a hotel the other day, and I forgot my Vagamor, and so I had to use other shampoo, and I I feel it immediately. I was like, eeuw, my hair feels disgusting. Yeah.

[00:41:05]

I now need to travel with my Vegamore. What I love about Vegamore is that it's all natural, but it keeps your hair full and really healthy. Yes. And yeah, I'm totally addicted.

[00:41:14]

It doesn't feel stripped, which I think is really nice because some shampoos and conditioners, I feel here, it feels really dry after. Right. Vegamore, yeah, it just feels very nourished.

[00:41:23]

Some other products can be super clean and cruelty-free, but there's a trade-off. It's just not as good. And with Vegamort, it actually works, and it's made with all those ingredients. There's no trade-off. You can still feel good about what you're putting in your hair, and it looks great. Give your hair the power of the little pink bottle with Vegamort. For a limited time, synced listeners get 20% off their first order by going to vegamore. Com/synced and use code synced at checkout. That's V-E-G-A-M-O-U-R. Com/synced code synced to save 20% off your first order. V-e-g-a-m-ou-r. Com/synced code synced.

[00:42:03]

Support for synced comes from ZocDoc. We all know there are things in life you have to compromise on. We just talked about that. We've been talking about it in episodes. It's part of life. You have to give a little bit, But not when it comes to your health. There's no time for that. So don't go back to that one doctor who you know isn't great. We've all done this where you have a doctor and you don't really feel like figuring out a new doctor, but they're only okay and you're only getting half care. But you don't have to do that. You can go to ZocDoc, which is a place you can find and book doctors who will make you feel comfortable. They'll listen to you, prioritize your health. It's all in one place. It's so easy.

[00:42:41]

It's so easy, and it's so convenient. You can search by a location by availability. Sometimes it's like, I need to see a doctor today, this afternoon. You can search by availability. You can search by insurance. I need a doctor that is covered by my insurance. All you have to do is take a photo of your insurance card, and they're going to figure it out for you.

[00:42:59]

It's a free app and website where you can search and compare highly rated in-network doctors near you and instantly book appointments with them online. Go to zocdoc. Com/synced and download the ZocDoc app for free. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today. That's zocdoc. Com/synced, S-Y-N-C-E-D. Zocdoc. Com/synced.

[00:43:29]

Have you heard about the whole kiki? Okay, this is last. Kiki versus Booba.

[00:43:36]

What? Kiki versus Booba? What the hell is that?

[00:43:41]

No, it's a real thing. Okay, so it's a very It's a very hard concept to explain on a podcast, but I'm going to try. Scientists gave people two shapes, and one of them is almost like the electric... Oh, my God. How to describe the shape?

[00:43:53]

Like a starburst?

[00:43:55]

Can you see it?

[00:43:56]

Okay, yeah. A star with sharp edges.

[00:43:59]

Yeah, almost like a boom explosion emoji. Then how would you describe the other one? This one?

[00:44:06]

To me, it's like a flower.

[00:44:09]

It gives a little bit like flower power. They showed people these images, and they said, Which one is Kiki, and which one is Booba? Almost everybody- This is amazing.

[00:44:18]

Yeah, the left one is Kiki. That's Kiki.

[00:44:20]

And then Booba? That's Booba. Right? Then this woman took this experiment and was like, There are guys that are and there are guys that are Booba. Brad Pitt is a Kiki. See?

[00:44:33]

I don't think so.

[00:44:35]

George Clooney, Kiki. Pedro Pascal, Booba. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[00:44:40]

Me and you have much, much different... I mean, we were on the same page about which one was kiki, and which one was Booba. But to me, the boys are not at it. To me, Brad is more Booba. He doesn't have sharp edges. There's nothing about Brad that feels sharp.

[00:44:58]

His jawline.

[00:44:59]

Oh, this is just esthetics, you mean, or vibe?

[00:45:03]

It depends. But I think the vibe is that he's perfect and very chiseled and his body and there's not a lot to blob onto. Whereas a Pedro Pascal, a Andrew Garfield, those are boobas. They're not kikis. Andrew Garfield is not a kiki.

[00:45:18]

No, I agree. He's not a kiki, but I don't think Brad Pitt is a kiki. I think George Clooney is a kiki, but I'm taking vibe into account, not just esthetics. Wow, this is fascinating. If people have not been able to follow, they need to look Kiki and Booba up.

[00:45:38]

Booba Kiki. I mean, we can post- Oh, yeah, we should.

[00:45:40]

And is Rodent Booba?

[00:45:44]

For sure. What? Golden Retriever can also be a Booba. Yeah.

[00:45:48]

To me, Booba is like golden retriever, like blocky energy.

[00:45:51]

You know what it is? It really helps me put into words something that I've never been able to put into words, which is my ideal guy is a Booba because it's like, I want him to have the kiki spikes, but I want to be able to hold on to something. You know how I've described one person this way? I was like, he's great, and he's handsome, and he's nice and funny, but there's nothing for me to hold on to. There's no ridges. That's what Booba feels like to me, that there's a sensitivity, or there's, again, a little bit of fat. There's something that doesn't make them perfect in a way. To me, a Booba is less conventional but more interesting. That guy.

[00:46:31]

Okay, wow. There's a lot to take from this. I really wanted to talk about Erwan burritos, but we'll say that till next time. All right, let's do a couple of questions. This is such a good question. What direction do you face in the shower? This is from Reilly. My friends and I have had this debate for a long time, and after the do you pee in the pool question, I think your response in dialog about this question would be so fun and interesting. Which direction do you stand in the shower while showering? Are you an ass to the water or tits towards the water person? My friends and I have found that most times men are the front facers, whereas women are typically ass to the water. This is just in general. Of course, hopefully everyone is facing multiple ways in the shower to make sure you're clean. But overall, what way are you facing? Love the pod, and I look forward to listening every week. Thanks, ladies. This is a great question. I've never thought about this in my life.

[00:47:25]

Me too. It's so good.

[00:47:27]

Wow. Okay.

[00:47:28]

You know, right? It's a media I think it's immediate.

[00:47:31]

Ask to water. Ask to water, yeah. Like she said, I do turn around, but for the majority and the standard, when I first hop in... Actually, when I first hop When I first hop in-I was going to say. When I first hop in, it's tits forward.

[00:47:49]

Because I want to get my face-Exactly.

[00:47:52]

Do you wash your face first?

[00:47:55]

This is so interesting because to me, if I'm doing a lot of tits forward, I'm going through It's your everything shower. No, I think emotionally I'm going through it. Oh. There's something wrong with... Or I'm in a shower, but I'm a little bit like, ugh. Whereas if I'm asked first, we're doing this, it's efficient, we're getting it done. Whereas The moments where I'm tits first is when I'm maybe reflective or the water on my face feels good, but maybe I'm staying in for a little too long because I'm not just in and out. Sure. It makes sense that men are nipples forward or they have tits too, I guess, right? Sure. Some of them. They go forward because for us, the main point of the shower, or a big part of the shower, if you're doing an everything shower, is your hair. Exactly. Your hair is taking time and you're doing a shampoo, you're doing a condition, or maybe you're doing a third And so the hair is the focus. And so it wouldn't make sense to be forward.

[00:48:49]

I agree. If I'm not washing my hair, though, it's still asks to water. But I think maybe that's because it's muscle memory. But I agree with you. If I'm trying to decompress or something, I will do tits forward for extra long before I turn around. You know what? This is fascinating. It's like women are just efficient. It's like we got to get in and get out. We don't have time to just stand and indulge. It's like we don't make time for ourselves.

[00:49:22]

It's that there's so much to do. Maybe I'm shaving.

[00:49:25]

Well, that's the other thing. Shaving, you have to do ask to water because you can't have the water pouring on your legs as you're shaving.

[00:49:31]

That's right.

[00:49:32]

What order do you go in? What's your shower order?

[00:49:35]

Such a good question. If I'm washing my hair, that's what I'm starting with because I feel like some of my body is going to get cleaned through the process of just all of this stuff coming out, my hair, and the shampoo going down my body. I want that part sorted before I move on to my body and then get everything figured out there, and then I'll shave last.

[00:49:58]

But what about face? When does face enter the picture?

[00:50:01]

This is controversial, but I was told by a random woman in Montreal. She was like, Based on your face, you should not be washing your face in the morning. She was like, You should only wash your face once, and it's at night. I will say, I think for some people that is because it strips your skin off, again, depending on your skin, but it strips a lot of stuff off of your skin that you need. I will wash my face in the shower. It's at night, but otherwise, I don't wash. I'll put water on it, but I'm not going to wash it.

[00:50:33]

That's very interesting. Is this the same woman who told you to put gorilla glue on your eyebrows?

[00:50:41]

That was a different woman. I have not done it because you have scared me with it. I feel like the only way I can do it is we do it together.

[00:50:50]

That's not how life works, Liz. If you want to do something, you can't wait for me to do it, especially when I said, I'm definitely never doing that. But if you want to try it, you have to try it.

[00:51:00]

We should explain to people what this means. Okay, tell people. I met a woman who is a sync listener. We love her. We love her. And she had the best eyebrows I've ever seen in my life. I said, What do you do for your eyebrows? She looked at me straight in the face, and she said, Gorilla glue. I was like, What? And she said, Gorilla glue. Also, it's not her. It came second-hand. She went to Sephora. This amazing gay guy at Sephora was working there, and asked him about brow gels, and he was like, Honestly, I do Gorilla glue, and I highly recommend. Yeah, you can spend $40 on a brow gel, but Gorilla glue will do a better job, and it will stay for a few days. And so she did it. And her brows were amazing. So I naturally got Gorilla Glue, and then I told you about it, which was the bad idea. And you were like, Liz, anything that touches your eyebrows are going to peel it off. And so now I'm just... I've been delaying it, but I want to do it. I'll do it.

[00:51:57]

Do it if you feel the inclination.

[00:51:59]

I'll let you guys know how it goes. Anyway, what's your order? Sorry.

[00:52:03]

Oh, yeah. Okay. So I start Tits to Water. I wash my face first, and then I immediately turn Ass to Water, get my hair wet. And as I'm getting my hair wet, it's weird how I don't really know, but I'm obviously doing the same thing every time. I think as I'm getting my hair wet, I am washing my body, and I use a bar soap. I don't use whatever it's called.

[00:52:33]

Liquids. Body wash? Body wash.

[00:52:35]

Thank you. I don't use body wash. I use a bar soap, and it has an exfoliant. It has little pieces in it, so I use it directly on my body. It's not like I suds it in my hand. I'm using it to exfoliate. Then I wash my hair. It's not the most efficient because ideally, I would be washing my body as the conditioner is sitting. I know I I do that, but I don't think I do that. Then I put shampoo, then I condition, and then shave. But I do think if I'm shaving, I will leave the conditioner in. I'll shave while the conditioner is sitting, and then I'll rinse it. Smart. For me, the washing of the hair is the very last thing. I want to be done with the hair wash and get out, which seems like it's the opposite for you, which is interesting.

[00:53:23]

I hate washing my hair, so I just want to get it over with. I think that's also the element.

[00:53:28]

I don't like the feel of wet hair on me. I want that to be the last thing so I can just get out and towel it.

[00:53:39]

Got it. I had a question and I forgot.

[00:53:41]

This is fascinating. Rob, are you tits to water?

[00:53:45]

Or butt?

[00:53:46]

Chest first.

[00:53:47]

The whole time? Yeah.

[00:53:48]

I mean, unless I'm washing my hair, I need to turn around. Right. You have thick hair. I bet some men, even if they are washing their hair, might still be tits forward.

[00:53:58]

I really want to meet a guy who's ass forward. Does it correlate with other things, like being sitting down, which also a lot of men do?

[00:54:07]

It's interesting because all of our media tells us to do ass to water. If you watch any shampoo commercial ever, it's ass to water or any, even soap commercial it is. So it's weird.

[00:54:26]

But when it's women, I don't think... I'm trying to think of a- I know.

[00:54:29]

Guys soap.

[00:54:30]

You see more women, I guess, in the shower.

[00:54:33]

Interesting.

[00:54:34]

Do you like showering?

[00:54:36]

No. I mean, I do it every day, but I don't like it. You mean like, do I get joy out of it? No. I love a bath. I do get joy out of that. Why? Do you?

[00:54:46]

No. Washing my hair is such a chore, and I wish it wasn't.

[00:54:50]

How often do you wash again? Every day?

[00:54:52]

No, no, no, no, no.

[00:54:53]

Do you? No.

[00:54:54]

Every couple of days. But I will procrastinate washing my hair as long as you'll push the limits. You'll push the limits. As long as I... Possible. Right now, I definitely should have washed my hair two days ago. But it's just so annoying. But we have long hair. I wonder if that's part of it because I feel like I didn't used to hate it as much, but maybe my hair is longer.

[00:55:10]

Yeah, it's true. I had a appointment with a dermatologist. Well, a woman. I had an appointment with a woman when I was maybe going to get Kybella, and then she changed my skin regimen, and it messed up my face so much. I think she's the devil. She told me also to wash my hair every day. What? Because the oils from the hair get on your face. And I was like, I'm not doing that. And also that's not good for my hair.

[00:55:40]

No, you're not supposed to do that. You're stripping. There's necessary things that our bodies just produce. Agreed.

[00:55:46]

Okay, well, that was a very interesting question. Okay, wait.

[00:55:49]

I have one last shower question. Okay. Do you shower in silence or do you put on a podcast or do you put on music?

[00:55:57]

If I'm being efficient, I shower in Silence. I shower in silence 75% of the time. Then 23% of the time I listen to podcasts, 2% of the time I listen to music. It's really rare for me to listen to music in the shower. But also I just play it from my phone and I can barely hear.

[00:56:21]

I know. I do it every time. And then if I'm listening to a podcast, I have to relisten. Yeah, same. I didn't hear anything, but I just hear this a annoying noise that I can't make out.

[00:56:32]

We must find soothing because why else are we doing it?

[00:56:34]

Yeah. But I feel the same way where I'm like, why do I keep doing this? I can't hear it. But if I'm going on a date or I'm getting ready to go out, I'll put on some fun music because it's my getting ready music. Okay.

[00:56:45]

I love that. Do you have a song?

[00:56:47]

I usually have a song that I listen to 20 times a day for three weeks, and then I can't listen to ever again.

[00:56:55]

Yeah.

[00:56:56]

Yeah.

[00:56:56]

Okay. Let's do one more. Help. Do I tell my professor that her YouTube channel has playlists of strippers and pole dancing videos? This is from Dina. Hi, Monica and Liz. I'm currently in my master's program at a private Christian University. My teacher weekly uploads videos of herself talking about lectures and assignments and all the things for each week that we need to know. This week, I decided to check out her profile because I wanted to see if there were any extra videos on her profile so I could get a head start on future assignments. When I went on her profile, I noticed that she has a bunch of public playlists of pole dancing videos, strippers and tease videos, and how to strip at home. She is a fairly conservative professor, and I'm going to have her throughout my whole graduate program. I don't know if telling her is going to make our bond stronger or if she's going to hate me the rest of my master's program because she's embarrassed. Help. Wow. This is shocking. Oh, my God. Also, I have to be honest, I love her a little bit, but also ding, ding, ding, religion.

[00:58:05]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, is repression. Should she tell her this is tricky?

[00:58:19]

I mean, are we sure that this professor doesn't know that these videos are... I mean, that would be my first.

[00:58:26]

My guess is this professor does not know, especially if that's the way her students are getting to her. She probably doesn't know that some are private and some are public.

[00:58:35]

But why would she post them if they're private? Is she trying to grow her following? Because then maybe this is part of growing her following.

[00:58:42]

I doubt it.

[00:58:44]

Like, is she trying to be like a Jordan Peterson? That he was posting his lectures online? I can't attribute intention, but probably to create a following which he got from the lectures.

[00:58:55]

She has a bunch of public playlists of pole dancing videos, strippers and keys videos.

[00:59:00]

Strippers Oh, public playlist. It's not her in the... Okay, I think I understand.

[00:59:05]

She just has a playlist, and it's public. Oh, okay. I see. She probably thinks people can't see that.

[00:59:11]

Yes. I think you need to tell her. Really? I would want to know. This is a woman looking out for another woman situation, or that's how I view it. She could lose her job, and she's not doing anything wrong. She just clearly likes pole dancing, and she's probably older, so she doesn't realize her things. You know what I mean? Without technology, it was like, Older women mentor younger women. But I really think technology has reversed that dynamic, where in a lot of ways, younger women can be really helpful to older women when it comes to technology. To me, this falls into that category of, I just want to let you know. I know that this is confusing. By default, Maybe the playlists are public, but I just noticed it, and I just want to let you know that it's... I would do it in a very caring way in a very short email, two sentences.

[00:59:54]

Maybe not email, though, because that could get tracked.

[00:59:57]

I mean, it's not like she has cocaine.

[01:00:00]

Well, I mean, from the school, if it's a conservative Christian school, I agree that she could potentially lose her job for this, which is insane.

[01:00:09]

Don't even reference what they are. Just say like, Hey, I noticed you have a lot of playlists, and some of them are public, and I don't know if that was on purpose. So just letting you know.

[01:00:17]

Just so you know you can make some private.

[01:00:19]

I would just make it super casual. Don't even mention it, what it is. And then she'll go, Oh, God, because she knows what her playlists are.

[01:00:27]

God, this is so hard because I agree with you. I think that's the right thing to do. But I also think, honestly, and I would just ignore it.

[01:00:38]

Really? To me, it's like seeing a woman with blood on her pants.

[01:00:40]

Well, we've talked about this.

[01:00:42]

It's feminism. I mean, whatever. You can do whatever you want. But to me, it would be like keeping in a sneeze. I'd be like, I have to tell her.

[01:00:51]

But she is running a tiny bit of a risk. She is that the woman will get defensive and then take it out on her. She has to be around this person for two more years, and every time she sees her, there's going to be a little bit of discomfort.

[01:01:05]

If that is a risk, though, then create a fake email and send her an email.

[01:01:09]

Oh, my God.

[01:01:11]

And then you can just say it. Your pole dancing playlist is public. You might want to make it private. Then she doesn't have to feel ashamed. Again, I would just tell her because I feel like that's the easiest thing. But if you're worried about retribution, you can just send her an anonymous note. If this was 2001, I'd be like, write it down on a piece of paper and leave it on her desk.

[01:01:31]

Do you think... Okay, well, if she has other playlists that aren't this, it's easy to just say, I was looking for some extra... I was wondering if you had any extra videos, and so I looked on your profile and I see that you had some public playlists. So Just so you know, you can make those private if you want. Not like you should. I think making it as cash as possible is good. I agree that what Liz is saying is the right thing to do. And also, I'm just going to throw out there. Personally, I would just not say anything. But it is weird for a student to approach a teacher about this.

[01:02:08]

To me, it's like coming back to the period pants or again, any other woman thing.

[01:02:11]

Would you tell your teacher about blood on her pants? Yes. You have to.

[01:02:16]

I would tell even if it was my arch enemy.

[01:02:19]

I know, but arch enemy is easier than teacher.

[01:02:21]

To me, it's even more like, Oh, my God, I don't want you to be humiliated. And again, especially since the idea would be she doesn't know. And so, again, that there could be men who are seeing this and laughing at her. I know. Or again, that it could have repercussions on her career and she could lose her job over this. I would just want a woman to a woman. If we were talking about a guy, that would feel a little harder for me. That's uncomfortable. That's a little, yeah, What are the... But for me, the woman to woman thing overrides all other hierarchies that exist.

[01:02:51]

I get that. I think you're right. I think that's the right thing to do.

[01:02:54]

You're not going to go to the house if you don't do it.

[01:02:56]

Maybe take into account this professor's personality. If you do think they're going to just be so embarrassed and take it out on you, it's a little bit it's you or her. But if not, if you think she would be grateful, ultimately, that you told her, then do. You have to assess that. If that professor is going to make her life miserable for the next two years, I don't know. Hopefully, she wouldn't, but obviously this woman has got some contradictions. Stuff's going on. She has mixed messages.

[01:03:28]

I mean, aren't we all If everyone could see our Google searches and our playlists or our Spotify raps, my God, I'm so glad those things aren't public. I actually was so jealous of people who are like, can just share them. I'm like, Oh, great. You're securely attached and normal. I'm so mentally ill and weird.

[01:03:50]

Maybe that's a good resolution for you. End of your resolution is to post... Hold on. I was going to say, post your Spotify rap, but don't now start adjusting what you to just so your Spotify rap looks good. Be truthful about your listening habits, and then you know what's going to happen? You'll post and people be like, I love that, too.

[01:04:09]

Well, it's not that I'm a... It's not postworthy. I'm not here, like, bragging about how much Adele I listen to or how much of once in a month, there's some really happy years, and then there's some tougher years.

[01:04:22]

Oh, you're worried it's going to show what state of mind you've been in for the year. Yes. Okay. It's too vulnerable.

[01:04:29]

Also, I think Dax shared it, and it's super buried and interesting. I think I shared it. Yeah, you shared it's really interesting artist, and I'm like, I'm just so basic.

[01:04:38]

No, that's silly, Liz. To care about what it looks like is silly.

[01:04:42]

I don't judge myself when I'm listening to it. It's just that I guess the idea that I could post it. I think it's more that, though. I'm like, Oh, I'm not here.

[01:04:49]

I think that should be a challenge.

[01:04:51]

Well, I could be the Spotify wrap that I want to see in the world. I could think about adding more variety to what I listen to.

[01:04:57]

No, don't add. No, no, no. You're literally doing the opposite of what I'm saying. Okay, got it. Be you, do you, how you normally live. Then at the end of the year, the challenge is to feel okay showing who you are for real and not who you think the presentation should be.

[01:05:14]

Okay, I will Where am I for Spotify wrap this year, no matter what. It's already too late to reverse course. I mean, I guess I could, but we're already deep into the year.

[01:05:21]

I wish they did a halfway.

[01:05:22]

Me too. That'd be fun. We should bring back half anniversaries or like, I'm 37 and a half.

[01:05:28]

We did with our gift guide.

[01:05:30]

It's true.

[01:05:32]

Proud of us. Yeah. Well, okay. This was great. I hope you enjoy the rest of your trip.

[01:05:37]

Thank you. I can't wait to see you again.

[01:05:40]

And then, yeah, back in the attic next week. Thank you so much for submitting, and please continue to submit. These are all amazing questions, per usual.

[01:05:48]

Really good questions today.

[01:05:50]

And we'll see you next week.

[01:05:51]

Bye.

[01:05:52]

Bye.