Okay. I was going to suggest that we do something special in this episode, but I didn't suggest it in time, so we can't.

What is it?

But next time, I think we should do a roundup of our newest favorite things, our recommendations. Basically, a gift guide mid-year, a mid-year localized gift guide.

That's a good idea. It's funny because I was putting on some before I was coming, and I was like, Oh, I really should talk about this bronzer. I've never brought it up. It's one of my favorite things. It's great.

Well, do you think we could do it off the fly or no? Do you think we need to prep?

I think we should prep because it's also... It's just going to be makeup again. We'll forget stuff. Yeah, I think it should be a well-balanced guide. Okay, I love that.

Yeah. Okay, so next week we're going to do a roundup of some of our favorite things, a mid-year, a Christmas in May, gift guide. I love it. Something came up the other day I saw in my house. It was And I thought, I should put this on my gift guide in December. But by then, I'll have new things. It'll be too late.

Yeah. And it's fun to do a gift guide in the spring. Spring, summertime. How was your trip?

It was good. I just got off the plane. Yes, that's it. I dropped off my bag at home, and I made a tea because technically, according to this time, I've been up since 2:30.

Oh, God. You know you must be so exhausted.

Well, so far, you're so good. I'll crash in a bit, I'm sure, but for now, fine. I went on for Mother's Day, which was very lovely.

You hung up with Allison Roman?

Oh, yes. I did Allison Roman, My Chef, My Dream, My Girl, My Girlie. She has a podcast, and she is touring it around a bit. She sent me an email asking if I would perhaps participate in any of the shows, but now we're in LA. And it just so happened that her show in Atlanta was over Mother's Day, and so it was the right move. Killed two birds with one stone. There we go.

Phrase we said wrong. We often use and say it wrong. I say it wrong. I think you have got it right.

Well, I don't know. But anyway, so yes, it was so fun. The show in Atlanta was so fun. I was proud of my people. There was a 10-year-old boy in the audience that was so cute. Because the way her show works is people submit questions as they walk in if they want, and then Allison goes through them really quickly before she goes on stage and picks a few for people to come repeat their question in front of the audience and then discuss it. Then there's some just rapid fire ones. But the one from the 10-year-old said, I was listening to last week's episode, and I love him.

We have 10-year-old listeners.

We don't. She does.

I thought it was synced.

I was like, We need to adjust the content.

No, no, no, no, no, It's a little inappropriate for him.

Is it? Yeah.

It's not that inappropriate. I mean, they're more inappropriate podcasts.

Well, sure. But that doesn't mean we're not inappropriate for a 10-year-old. Sure. If I had a 10-year-old, I probably would not encourage them to listen to this.

But if they listen to sync, I would be concerned that they like it. Wouldn't that be like, Okay, there's something we should talk about?

That's what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, got it. That's what I'm saying. I think it's not appropriate. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for a 10-year-old. Anyway, it was really cute. He was asking this cooking question, and it was really sweet. Sweet.

How are you?

How was your weekend? How was your mother's day?

It was great. What'd you do? I FaceTime for five hours because I'm not in the same country, but it was nice. I sent everyone cupcakes because my dad's birthday also on Mother's Day. Oh, fighting. Yeah. It's always a big weekend. I was supposed to have a date with LinkedIn guy, but he had to reschedule.

Oh, because he stole my move?

I guess. No, he had to help his mom move, which felt important. That's sweet. We have a date this week. Great.

Yeah. Were you guys going to... Fuck.

I knew that would happen. Oh, my God. I'm so happy it didn't happen on your pants. You had a premonition. I did. I knew it. She was nervous.

It wasn't so much a premonition as it was just very hard to open that. The way you just beheld it, it's something like you said, Are you guys going to? And then you said, Fuck. Are you guys going to fuck? Well, are you? I was just hearing you. Where are you guys going to do?

Well, we were supposed to go to All Time.

Very sexy spot. Because of the movie?

No, I don't think any. Are men watching the Adam Hathaway movie? Oh, he recommended All Time? No, he said, I'll come to you. I think after the West Adams situation. Oh, situation.

The 50 minute drive.

Yeah. He was like, I'll come to you. I was like, well, then we have to go to all time. But then it turned into now an intimate. He was like, oh, we could go for a hike or a sauna because I got a sauna. And now we're going to hike in a sauna, which feels like very...

Because it was part of our Our original conversation was the sauna. It was. So that's a nice callback. I really like when on a second date, it's a callback to the first date.

Oh, yeah.

That happened to me in December. The second date was a callback to the first date, and I really liked that.

What was the callback?

On the first day, we talked about baked potatoes, of course, which I had over the weekend, actually. So proud of you. And the second day, we went to Houston's for baked potatoes.

Oh, I like that. I like when there's a text after the date that references something you've talked about that you were going to do. In his text, he was like, Have fun with the sauna, because I told him I was setting it up.

For the listeners, you bought a sauna. I bought a sauna. But not the kind that is a zip-up sleeping bag. Yeah. It's a tent or something?

It's between a real sauna and one of those tent ones because I was subscribing to this sauna place, and it was a membership fee. I was like, At this point, I should just buy a sauna. So I invested in a sauna. It's outdoors? It's outdoors. And before that, I had a weird tent one, which I gave to my task rabbit. That's my grandfather in my task rabbit. And dad and doesn't speak English. Doesn't speak English.

Oh, my God. Liz, I hope he doesn't mistake how long to be in that sauna and shrible into a peanut.

That's a good worry.

Not to invalidate you.

But when he saw our little tent sauna, he showed us all these photos to my roommate. I was on a call or maybe here, but he was showing his phone that he'd been in a Russian... Because he's Latvian or from Lithuania, I can't remember, but one of the two. And so he showed the photos of being so excited.

Because in Latvia or Lithuania, it's a big history of saunas.

We might need to Google that, but maybe I feel like there is. Anyway, he's really into it. And so then when he was assembling the sauna, my roommate was like, Should we give him the sauna? And I was like, Right. He loved it. And so then we gave it to him. He's It's so nice. I have so many feelings. I've never had this many feelings with someone I can't communicate with.

It's really interesting. Yeah.

Have you ever had that? Well, with the little boy in India. It was a little girl who said Dax.

Oh, yeah. I mean, I wouldn't say that wasn't so much strong feelings as that's crazy that she just said that, and then she's me somehow. But I have run-ins with people where they have an impact that is outsized to our interaction. That's right. I don't know what that is. Maybe it is an indication that we've met them before. I mean, I like that idea.

Do you realize that you've left an impact on people that you don't even realize? You're that person?

Positive and negative. Probably. Yeah. We've talked about this, how when we've had negative interactions, they can be debilitating and it can veer the course of your entire life off track. And yet, if we're going to be Buddhist about it, we should really let all that go because we're doing that. We have no idea. I mean, is there anyone you know in your life that you know you have had a negative... They sit with negative feelings towards you. You're their villain. Really? For sure.

Definitely. Sometimes I think- Someone I went on maybe three dates with, but there were a lot of run-ins, and I was like- No, Liz, that's not fair to you.

No, because I know this story, and you didn't do anything wrong. If that person thinks you're the villain, that is their issue. You went on multiple dates with this person, and then ultimately it wasn't a good fit. That's normal and fine.

But do you ever go through a thing and someone, you're like, Oh, this person, and they ruin your life for a minute. And then you find yourself in a situation many years later or a while later, and you'll be like, Oh, my God, I just did the thing that this person had done to me. That you become It's hypocrisy. I felt that a little bit with him where... But you're right. First, I said, This isn't happening. I think I made something up.

That's a problem.

Well, there we go. Yeah, sometimes I don't want to hurt the person, and so I'll be a little bit avoidant around it. Not direct. Not direct. When someone does that to me, it's so heartbreaking. It's so painful. I'm like, Why wouldn't they just say it? I'm like, Because I've been in that situation, and I don't say it. It gives you compassion for the person that's ruining your life. But I hate that feeling when I'm like, oh, I... But then you're reflecting on it.

I think it's healthy to think, fuck, no one's doing anything that... The person who's, quote, ruining your life, you have decided that they've ruined your life. They are just moving through the world as they do. And you're giving them a lot of power. Ding, ding, ding. Okay, so this past Monday's armchair is Camila Caballo, who is your friend. Yeah, yeah. And I'm not sure if you've listened yet, but you do come up. Oh, sweet. Well, you come up multiple times because obviously we mentioned that you're friends. And then I do bring you up, and I wonder if you're going to be upset, or I wonder if you're upset. God, what did you I do. I don't think it was bad, but I asked her. It was pertinent to the conversation, what she was saying. I asked her if she gives a lot of power to men. And then we talked about that a little bit, and she was like, Well, what do you mean exactly? Can you elaborate? And I said, I think she won't mind because we talk about it already. I've said it many times on this, I think. I said, I say this to Liz all the time because she's so great and wonderful and has so much to offer.

But despite that, I think she hands over a lot of power to men. Anyway, so I said that, and I didn't check with you because it just came out.

What did she say back?

She said she thinks she does do that a bit.

I think it would have been weird if you were both like, Isn't annoying when women give a lot of power to men? You didn't say it that way. Again, I think it's a relatable... I think a lot of women do. Exactly. A lot of men do.

Give power to men. Yeah, of course. We all give power to men. We all give power to people. But it definitely isn't like that's annoying. When you're on the outside of something, you can see it, and when you're on the inside, you can't.

No, you're right. It's still something I'm working on. I think I give a lot of power to other people, period. I give a lot of power to people that I'm in relationships with, whether it's romantic, I think is like all of our relationships. The most high news. The most, exactly. But I think overall, do you ever feel like your therapist is over it a little bit with your bullshit? Like that she's saying the same thing over and over again?

Well, that's interesting because I have a friend who just started going to couples therapy, and she loves her personal therapist a ton. Then she went to couples therapy, and they really, really love their couples therapist a lot. She did one session solo with the couples therapist. After she said, I think I need to get a new personal therapist. This is teaching me that I think we've hit our limit. Because we've talked about this, OT's original therapist. They can know you so well that it can almost be a hindrance, and they also can get protective of you in a way that they shouldn't.

Interesting.

They are also in a relationship with you. With you. And over time, if that's a really, really long time that you've been with that therapists, they can't help but develop some feeling about you. When they hear stories that are coming from you, which, of course, are going to be very one-sided. Totally. All of the things we tell our therapists, unless you're in couples, they're going to be on one excited. I think they can get clouded.

Of course. But isn't that the point of therapy that... Obviously, they're there, they have all these skills and know all these things about attachment theory and relationships and conflict resolution and all that stuff. But the point of therapy is also to mirror the relationship of the loving parent of this unconditional love.

And psychoanalysis, yes. Okay.

From what I've heard, fill the blank, unconditional parent or the unconditional love that you're supposed to have for yourself, actually. That a lot of people come into therapy. I certainly came into therapy, hating myself. And so the goal of the therapist is to actually be completely accepting of you and completely unconditional in their support of you. And that's, again, sometimes it can feel like, well, you're always taking my side. But that's the point.

Not for me and not in mine.

That you don't want to take your side?

It's not sides. If I'm like, this happened. I've never heard her say, You're right about anything. It's all about how to arrange my thinking so that I minimize the negative effects of whatever's happening in my life. But it's not like, I hear your story and I side with you, or I'm providing unconditional love. I mean, it is definitely It's compassionate. It's support. She's not there to validate my feelings.

She doesn't validate your feelings?

That's not the therapist for me.

But she's doing it, maybe not by saying, I validate your feelings, but she is validating your feelings by accepting the reality. You're right.

Validating is maybe not the word. She's validating my feelings, as in understanding that they're real feelings, but she's not cosigning on my feelings. She's not like, What you feel is right, and that is how you should feel, and you're the best.

I don't think that's what I'm saying either. For me, and maybe, again, this is my situation, but I would invalidate my own experience a lot and would end up, again, in relationships where... I think I would come to her and she would be validating because I was invalidating my own stuff. But maybe that's just me. Every therapist is also so different. Right. And you have different needs. I mean, again, if you have a good therapist, they see what you need. Did you see the new... Okay, there's a ChatGPT update, big conference with the iPod, iPad once. They would happen once a year. Here's a new product and all the new evolution of it. I was watching it on my way here. It's like Dan on crack. What is it? I mean, the thing I saw, I couldn't watch the whole thing, but it was this guy, one of the people from ChatGPT. He's on stage and he's like, Hey, I'm doing a live conference right now and I'm feeling really nervous. She goes, Oh, wow. You're on a live conference right now? That's cool. He's Can you help me relax? Or like, What should I do?

I feel nervous. Then she's coaching him through this breathing exercise.

We're one step away from that.

I saw it. You saw it? No, the hand job. Okay, sorry. I thought you I mean, it's going to happen in two and a half weeks.

That's what I'm saying. We are so close from actual her, the movie her. Yes.

I was at a dinner party, and someone told me that there's a restaurant in Pasadena that's an AI restaurant that just opened. No, No. Where the robots make the food.

No.

They seat you, and then they bring you the food. There's no humans. There's only humans that come and check on you. But since they're not cooking or seating you, they're relaxed, and they're just there to make sure you have a good time. Liz, what are you talking about?

What are you What do you mean they make the food?

Robots are making the food. They do it.

Robots?

Okay. I heard.

From where did you hear this?

A very good source. That's a hairdresser. Oh, Oh, my God.

I'm seeing a CBS news article about it, too. But what are the robots are making the food? What robot? We don't have advanced enough robots to make food.

I think we do. No, we don't.

That's a whole thing we- It's like fried food.

I mean, it's our- Burgers. Yeah, like McDonald's McDonald's, don't they have robots doing stuff back there?

No. What? That's the whole thing is AI, machine learning is extremely advanced, but robot technology currently is not very advanced. There's some basic robot, like the Roomba is where we're at in a physical robot form or those army ones. Hold on, let me look this up.

It's Cali Express by Flippy is the name of the restaurant. Why? It's so weird?

It's Wagyu burgers and fries.

We should go.

We should go buy Flippy. Well, we should definitely go see what this is all about. Wagyu burgers for the price of traditional burgers. We're going to go buy burgers and The Grill Robot grinds the high-quality beef in real-time after the order is placed, resulting in a burger patty that melts in the mouth. Flippy, the famous Robotic Fried Station, cooks up crispy hot fries made from top-grade potatoes. But who cuts the potatoes? Is the prep happening by humans, and then they're throwing it on the machine, and then the machine is that? That makes more sense to me.

They're not cutting potatoes yet. I mean, aren't there machines? You can cut You can, but someone has to then put the potato on the machine for then it to slice and then take the slices and move. You need a babysitter. Exactly.

You need some human involved to operate the machinery would be my... Well, yeah, I guess we should go and see. This is so weird. This is bad. People need jobs.

I think it's over, though. What's over? Jobs. Jobs. I'm just embracing the chaos. A few weeks ago, I was like, Oh, this is It's 1968, but with robots. We're just in it, and actually trying to resist the chaos makes it harder for me. So now I've just been embracing it. And so let's go eat French fries made by robots. See what it's all about. See what it's all about. I mean, I prefer that they're doing that than writing movie scripts. Manual labor, right? That's the whole thing. That's tricky because that removes a sector of jobs of people who really don't have much money and don't have a lot of college education.

Those people need jobs.

They should be running the AI.

That's probably only going to need one person. I don't know. This is obviously why it's all so complicated.

Okay, well, we'll go there. But I think they're going to turn to therapists. When I was watching that thing, because remember how Dan was bad at the restaurant stuff? He lied to us. He lied and gaslit us. But when I was one-on-one with him, he was pretty supportive and helpful with mental health stuff.

I know, but it's so basic. It is. Everything he was saying was basic.

But isn't that the whole thing? Not that this can solve every mental health issue, but so much of what makes life hard is you're just not maybe talking to someone about something, right? Just talking about it and then having someone validate your feelings can be enough sometimes. Ai, because you've been to a friend, you've done this, where you'll be like, Okay, I should talk to someone about this. Then you get out of your house, you go meet a friend, and then they make it worse. Sure, yeah. You're like, This is why I should just keep everything myself. The AI I could make it worse, sure, but they're trained to know.

Well, they're reading literature that other therapists have put on the internet and psychology articles and stuff. They're pulling from those resources. I guess in a pinch, it's good, but I don't think it's replacing human therapists because our problems are so nuanced. When I go to my therapist for, if I talk to her about an issue I'm having in one situation versus another situation with different people, and she knows the players and she knows the types of relationships and she knows the pitfalls of each relationship and the patterns, it changes, right? It's not just, Well, this is how you should be in the world, which is how Dan is. He's just giving generic good advice on how to be, but it's not taking into account that humans are confusing. Yes.

One thing that might be good for you to do, for me, that's not great.

It's not going to work for you.

I mean, I don't want robots to take over. I'm just- You love robots. I don't. I'm trying to cope because or else I'll just get overwhelmed and be like, Oh, my God, the world is ending, and I need to be like, I'm trying to just go with the flow.

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I had one at your house. My first. They're so good.

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Wow. So it's intergenerational. When did her mom learn?

Probably never. No, no, no, no. Her mom learned in India. She would swim, and I know there was stories they have a river or something, and they would all swim in it. But they didn't They put their kids, my mom and her sisters, in swimming lessons or anything. But apparently in college, you had to pass a swim test in college. Wow.

Oh, my God. Isn't that crazy? I did that. It might have been elective, but I swam. You took a swimming class. I took a swimming class. What is it called? Oh, my God. I'm scuba diving. In college? I know. Or Sejab, which is our pre-college. Oh, wow. I know. Very weird. Would you go straight to scuba diving?

No. I'm never scuba diving. You're never scuba diving? No, I've heard some stories that I wouldn't... Yeah, I'm never doing it. Accidents? Yeah.

Yeah, that's not great. Don't dive.

It's really upsetting. Anyway. Also, we've had a lot of arm's true anonymous stories that have to do with scuba, and they're all bad.

Okay.

So anywho, what I think people could hear is I'm just afraid, right? I'm just like, I'm afraid, so it's stopping me. But I also don't want to. There's There's absolutely nothing about it that draws me in, and then I'm scared, so I stop myself. There are things in my life for sure where that's the case, where I'm interested, but it's too scary. This is not... I just don't want to at all.

That's how I feel about driving. It scares me, and I don't want to. And so don't do it. I think we should learn the basics in case there's an accident.

Do you think there's going to be a scuba-related emergency?

Maybe there's a situation, a scuba. Yeah, look, it's a crazy time to be alive. We can't rule things out. Speaking of, okay, I want to bring up the airplane, the overhead now.

Oh, my God. Okay. Okay, go ahead.

Because You just flew. Yes. You texted me. I texted you about a very controversial story that's been going around the internet about a woman that was videotaped taking a in the overhead compartment of an airplane. It's insane.

In the overhead? Yes. How is that even possible? Who helped her up there? Also, they're not even that sturdy. I mean, I guess it holds the bags.

It holds the bags. She's just a little lady. I mean, she fits She wouldn't fit in there.

You would fit in there. I wouldn't. What type of plane was it? Southwest? Southwest.

It's always Southwest.

There's always something going on. Okay, so you sent this to me. I'm going to read verbatim the text. Okay. You sent it. It's a New York Post article. Southwest passengers baffled after a woman climbs into overhead bin for a nap. And then you wrote, We need to discuss this. And then I did, Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Then you said, I think she has every right to do this. I said, What? Then you said, I know I actually would support her. Then I said, You're just trying to be a contrarian now. Then you laughed and you said, I support women, her body, her choice. Then my dad picked me up from the airport. I couldn't respond to this. Liz, be honest. Are you just being funny?

When I saw it, I was like, Oh, my God, this is so funny. But then I thought about it and I was like, go her. What does it matter? I don't care.

But what if she falls on some... Okay, for one, it's a danger. It's a hazard. It's a danger. For who?

Okay, she could fall in the aisle. No.

Someone's water bottle fell out onto me and it hurt bad. Felt at all? Yes. It was open? She was putting it up. Oh, and it fell. It was open and it fell on my hand and it really hurt. That was a water bottle. If a woman flies out onto you. That is disturbing and dramatic, for one. Two, I wonder, this is a deeper question. It's funny because I think I know this about you, but I guess I don't. To me, the audacity to think that you can break a rule, that everyone else is abiding. Oh, my God. It's like back to the running on the street. I'm very driven by conscientiousness and awareness of others. And like, deciding that your life is more important than everyone else's or your convenience is more important than everyone else's. Prioritizing yourself in a sea of other humans, I can't stand. So this is that That times 4,000. I think you are more, as we're learning over time on this show, on this little show of ours, you don't care about that. I do. No, you don't.

You even said the sidewalk.

You were like, I think you should run around.

That's not coming from a place of thinking people can break the rules. I would never stand in the sidewalk. It's that I don't want any inconvenience to other people. That's a weird me thing. I'd rather just go the long way than have interact and be like, sorry, and to advocate for myself. But I'm very on the same page as you on that. I don't think that the napping in the overhead applies.

What if everyone napped in the overhead? Is that fine?

I think if there's room in the overhead, look, if she's taking up the room and people can't put their bags, then no. But if it's free and there's space and you want to take a nappy nap, go for it.

But why does she get to do it? She needs to sit in the seat like everyone fucking else on Southwest and sleep like everyone else is napping.

Why You can't nap. This is a beef that I have with the airline industry in general, that they have middle seats. They shouldn't have middle seats. I fly a lot, and I fly not in the front of the plane. It's a very uncomfortable experience. I think that that's a fuck you to the system.

Southwest, to be fair, I don't think has front of the plane.

Oh, they don't? It's all the same. It's all equal.

Yes, it's all equal. Okay. And what you do get by paying more is you can enter the plane first to pick your seat. But that's it.

Okay, I like that. I support that.

Yeah. So then everyone on that plane, no one is in a better position than anyone else. I feel like if it's a Delta flight and you're like, well, there's first class people who are sleeping, so why I get to sleep?

She can sleep. She's older. She didn't look that.

Let me look. She didn't look that old. She doesn't? She looks like an old lady.

I thought it was an old lady.

I mean, it's a weird photo because she's sitting in there. She doesn't look that old. Oh, okay. Also, if she's old, she definitely shouldn't. It's such a hazard for her. If she falls out. All her bones will break. All her bones will break. She's like, 45, this woman.

That's not old, Liz. Okay, I thought she looked older than that. I thought she was like, 60 or like 57.

It is really hard to tell from this one picture.

I just think they should make flying more comfortable for the price that they're charging, and they really don't care. To me, actions like this are a little bit of a, well, Well, we have no room. We're cramped, so there's room, so we're going to take the room that we're paying for. She's paying for the overhead.

She's paying the same amount everyone is paying, and no one else is getting to do that.

Any overhead. But do other people want to do it?

No, because I think most people are sane. But I don't want... Look, I guess my therapist would say this is my issue, not hers. But if I am on that plane, I will not feel comfortable at all with a person Over you? Over me. Or even if I see it, I'm going to be perturbed that there's a person who might fall out at any time or also is unhinged. Do you think it's up to the government to... I mean, you're a liberal, so my guess is yes, that you agree. This is tangential, but similar. That there are regulatory bodies for a reason because humans can get catty-wampus, can get crazy. And so there's a reason there are rules and regulations to keep people in line a bit. Sure. Do you think that's important?

I do. And just so it's clear, if someone takes off their socks on a plane, I can't.

That's a problem. Even though that doesn't affect you.

It's gross. See, I think that that is worse than sleeping in. But why? Because this woman is hiding in. I'm not seeing her. She's just having an app.

Of course, you're seeing her. What are you talking about? She definitely didn't close it. You wouldn't be able to breathe. And it's open in the picture.

Okay, I thought she would be closing it while it's going so that she doesn't fall out. Okay, now I feel differently because that's how I'm dangerous. That's the difference? Yeah. If it's closed and she's just napping, who cares? Do your thing.

Well, who cares if someone's socks are off next to you? That doesn't matter. It's smelly.

The visuals are discussed. It's not respectful. It's like Kellyn Conway without socks. Remember that photo of her in the White House and she's sitting on the White House couch without her socks on?

I don't remember.

It's often White people. Oh my God, Liz. It's often White people. It's a very entitled, I'm just going to do this thing, even though it's not taking other people into consideration.

But there's literally no difference from that woman who is also not taking anyone into consideration, but also technically doesn't affect anyone.

I feel like it's more of a symbolic revolutionary act. I think that's why I respect it more, but I understand why people would be perturbed. I wouldn't be like, get over it. This is okay. I would just be like, you go, girl. I would be excited that we're disrupting the industry.

Are you happy around crazies? Do you get a little spike from it like Dax does?

Probably. I'm trying to think of who the last person. Not crazy in a way that... I don't want to be in close proximity with them often, but it'll be interesting for me. Entertaining.

You find it entertaining. Yeah. This is probably a 50/50, maybe less or more split where a lot of people would find that situation entertaining, and a lot of people would find it disturbing.

Okay, you would be disturbed. Yeah.

In general, I feel unsettled now and unsafe. I don't find it funny or fun. This person's not well, and I don't like the reminder that there are people who are unwell and are up there staring down at us. Also, because you know what I hate about it is now it's on the nice flight attendant who is dealing with so much fucking bullshit all the time to have to deal with this. That is so fucked. No. Okay. Also, though, on my way, there was a plane event, actually. I must have been so tired, I guess, so I didn't put two and two together that you had sent me. I had received that after I had endured my own plane event. Oh, wow. There was a person. This was the front of the plane, just to be candid. So there was a person next to me, but I couldn't see him. There was a barrier, and he was making some loud noises. And then sometimes he said, Fuck, once or twice. And then I was like, Does this person have Tourette? Probably. And that's what I thought. I was like, Okay, this is probably what this is.

And then we were starting to land, and it happened again. And the flight attendant came up and was like, Sir, are you okay? And he was like... I actually couldn't hear what he said. But then she said, Okay. She was nice, and she just said, Watch the language. And so then whatever we landed. Of course, everyone, as soon as we got up, and I didn't do this because I was hyper, where don't make it, don't look. But of course, everyone did. I saw everyone's head just immediately turned. I felt so bad. Then I But what an impossible situation for also the flight attendant, though, because there are kids on that flight, and so I'm sure that's why she had to say that.

I mean, they should know how to deal. I feel like watch the- No, they're not therapists.

These are flight attendants.

You want to know how to deal with someone who's in a wheelchair or someone who is autistic, right? It means you're going to have all kinds of people on a plane. If he has Tourette, it's not helpful to be told, don't.

It's not, but what do you do?

You don't have to do anything. I mean, it's just that's what's happening. It's like holding in a sneeze, telling them to not do something.

Then I guess this is a tricky, if someone doesn't have a disability and is doing that, do you think they should be told to stop?

If someone's being disruptive on purpose, 100%, and I guess that's what she was trying to figure out, but a lot of people aren't trained. But yeah, there was a guy at a coffee shop I would go to all the time in New York who had Tourette. It would occur. And then at first you're like, What's going on? And you realize, Oh. And it's so, I don't know. I just feel for the person. Me too. For me, normally, I don't want to draw attention to myself when I walk in anywhere, let alone over something that you can't control. And yeah, people don't... Your first inclination is not necessarily that it's that because a lot of us aren't exposed to it. Billy Eilish has Tourette's. Yeah, I know. So it's good when people talk about it.

Yeah, it is. I think it's a hard situation because I can't ask a flight attendant to know how to diagnose someone with Tourette's versus someone who's just being disrupted.

Exactly. Anyway, I'm not diagnosed, but I think if you know how to recognize Tourette's, which, again, I think should just be part of... All of us should just know the difference, then you can probably just deal with it in a better way. But I wasn't there. I don't know if it was that obvious.

Yeah, I don't know. Anyway, it was sad. All these things are just hard to navigate. Life is hard to navigate for everyone. Whether you're the person who's supposed to, quote, deal with a problem or if you're the one in the position. We all cause disturbances. Everyone hates it, probably. Well, some people probably don't. Some people probably like it.

I think just having worked, like again, when it was a lifeguard or like, people are so insane. Anyone who has to deal with the public, you're amazing and doing God's work. For real. But sometimes those crazy situations, again, I'm not saying that flight attendants had a great time with her and bringing her down or whatever, but sometimes those situations also make us laugh. Then it's like, Okay, this is so funny now. As long as she's not being unruly and I hope that she climbed down and was nice about it.

Also, are we sure it's real? It's probably not, but it doesn't matter.

We don't know what the situation was. I know how long she had been there, but there was someone up. I mean, there's a video.

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Okay. Well, on that note, let's do some questions.

Okay.

Oh, that's an interesting one. Okay. Let's do this one. Why can't I have a real conversation without crying? This is from Tasha. Hi, guys. Looking forward to my Wednesday listens every week. Why is it that if I have any serious conversation or the most minor confrontation, I can do so without crying? It's so beyond frustrating. I've never been good at confrontation, and I avoid it at all costs. But when it's unavoidable, like a small fight or disagreement with a friend or talk with the boss or just generally expressing my feelings in any form, I cannot get through it without tears. Is this just me? It makes me feel like I can't be taken seriously and that my points conversation aren't even valid because I'm saying them through tears, even when I don't feel the need to cry or be upset. Do either of you have any tools for this? This is a great question. It's so good. I have been there. We all land on this spectrum. I have friends who are 100% you and literally just cannot not cry. Then I've also been in situations where I'm trying to be direct and professional. That's really hard when you're trying to be professional and then you can't not cry.

I always leave those situations, and I feel silly. I'm like, Everything I said just got thwarted by my tears, and I'm going to be dismissed as this woman who can't be professional or can't handle her promotions? I don't really have... What is your advice?

I relate so much, and I have cried in so many settings and professional ones where... Maybe I've told this story, but I had this crying event at work. I worked at a startup, a media startup, and there was this contract negotiation, and it was going back and forth, and they just came back with something that felt so hurtful to me. It was so bad that in that moment, I was like, Oh, my God, I'm going to have to leave this job. I got really sad and really hurt. I ended up being like, Can I just have a minute? I stood, walked to the corner of the room, and then cried, and started breathing more slowly and bringing myself down from it. Calming yourself down. Yeah, calming myself from it. Then I came back and I was like, This is just a lot for me, and I'm just going to... If we can talk about this at another time, that would be great. In the end, it made an impact. It's not what I wanted. I felt embarrassed. I felt, Oh, my God, I can't control my emotions. But usually, it does move people to act when they can see.

Sometimes I feel like in romantic relationships, I've become so afraid to cry with people that I'm like, I feel like I shouldn't be crying already because sometimes you haven't been seeing someone for so long, and then you're like, Oh, my God, if I cry, this is so intense. It's not like we've been married for three years. It'll look like I care more about you than I do, but maybe I do, right?

It can be telling.

It's so I can tell. Basically, your tears are revealing what you might not want to reveal. But my tip is to take a break. Whoever you're dealing with, if you feel like you are on the verge of tears, just saying, I just want to be clear-headed when I have this conversation, so I just need a few minutes, or, Can we talk about this tomorrow? And then go cry it out.

I think an approach is to just be very open about it. Hey, I know this looks ridiculous, but this is just how my body reacts in confrontation, but we can continue. Just address it. This is what I do. I cry a lot in confrontation.

Yes. Just being very open about it. It's like the elephant in the room. Okay, so a few weeks ago, I was trying not to cry, but it was a situation where I was meeting this woman that helping us with the movie, and she watched it, and she had these very specific notes, and she clearly just had no... It was great because everyone that I've shown it to is a friend, or it's like, It's great. I'm like, But tell me how to make it better. And she was not- Sugar coding. No sugar coding at all. It doesn't really know me, but it knows my producer in the film. I was sitting with her and my two producers, and I was like, Am I going to cry? This wasn't a confrontation. That's when I was like, This would be so embarrassing.

Because it's like, I can't even take I can't even take this conversation, and I must look like I'm a kid. So what did you do?

I basically... What did I do?

You held it in like a fart.

I do think it's easier to hold in cries than farts.

That is shocking.

I think so. Not for me. Wow.

I mean, I will say the other day, and this is an Easter egg, we were doing a recording here, not me and you. We were doing one for armchair.

You farted?

No, no, no, No.

It would have been too good.

Too good to be true. No. We had a guest and something came up. I was already so emotional walking into the room. I was just dealing with my own shit. Then the conversation started and I was like, I'm going to cry. I'm about to cry. I was like, Oh, my God, do not cry right now. This is so inappropriate to cry right now, you can't do it. Then I just started drinking a lot of water. Okay. You can- Distract yourself.

It's true. It like half works. It half works, but half is already like you're not in the... I've told you what I do. I don't do it for... I might cry for crying. When I'm at the dentist or something's really painful and I have to sit through it, I think about the notebook scene where they're dancing in the street.

Oh, you disassociate.

I disassociate.

Which is hard to do when you have speak. That's the problem. That's why in this case, it was good because I just stopped and then Dax was talking. Sure. I didn't have to speak through what was happening because I bet I wouldn't have been able to.

So your stuff was Coming up in the interview or there was a dynamic that was making things worse?

No, I was already like-On the verge. On the verge for three days, and it was coming. I was feeling so sensitive to the world. Sure. The beginning of the interview was about me, and so I was like, I can't handle this. Sure. It was silly. We just were having this funny banter at the top, but I was in a place where I could not handle anything. Sometimes we are in that place. I've just been like, what's going on with female hormones?

Me too. How my period this week, I was like, couldn't work. It's really bad. What is... Me too. Maybe there's something going on.

I don't know, but Again, though, it's annoying to say it because I know that hormones obviously make everything way more intense. But the thing is still real, what's underneath it. I feel like tears make it seem like, oh, it's just hormones. It's not a big deal. It's not a big thing. It's nothing. And that's not true. Whatever you're crying about is still real and still means something to you and needs to be-Excavated. Exactly. So, yeah, the tears are, how did you phrase it? They reveal.

Yes.

They reveal what's important.

And you might just not have a great poker face, and that's fine. What I like to remember is I'm sensitive, and it's so annoying so much of the time. And there's so many things that make it harder for me to exist. But the flip side is there was a study I came across that helped me understand it, which was sensitive kids, yes, they feel sadness and anxiety more, but they also feel joy and bliss more. Yes, you feel the sadness and those negative quote, unquote, emotions really hard, but I'm sure you also feel the positive emotions harder.

You're probably a water sign.

Yeah, and just embrace it.

I think you bring it up. I like yours a lot.

It's probably making you cry more to try not to. To hold it in. Exactly. And hide it.

Actually, in one of my acting classes in college, one of my professors said, It's actually way more interesting to see someone try not to cry than to cry, than It's like, Oh, this is a sad scene, cry. It's like, It's actually more interesting to see someone try not to. I bet if you say it weirdly, I bet it you won't cry as much.

I think so, too. Or you'll be able to laugh about it.

Yes. Crying. When was the last time you cried?

Good question.

That was one of the first day questions.

I cried this weekend because I talked about a sister with cancer, and I ruined me. That's really, yeah. Yeah, I know. But I cried a bit this... I had a little teary-eyed this morning. My mother sent me a really cute text. That's sweet. When's the last time you cried?

Thursday. That was the day.

What was going on?

Oh, God. I mean, should I talk about it? Well, for one, again, I just felt completely unregulated. I was like, What is going on that I can't bounce back? Then something happened that did really throw me. I don't think I can talk about the details on here, but basically, some event that had nothing to do with me, but did just brought up so many feelings of all my stuff. Like not lovable, validation that I'm not lovable or that people don't like me. That happened, and then that was a couple of days before. It was just building, and then it broke. As it does. But anyway, Let's see. Okay, I think a lot of people have this problem. Hi, Liz and Monica. I always wake up on Wednesday mornings excited to hear the new episode. This is a dumb and easy question, I think. I've been with my boyfriend for about a year. It started off casual, but now we are meeting family and stuff, and I love him a lot. However, he has made the very reasonable request to spend more time hanging out at his house. To be fair, it's harder for me because I have to bring my two dogs, but he has opened his home to them and got them treats, so I can't even use that excuse anymore.

I've worked hard to make my house cute and comfortable and lit well, and I want to be at my house all the time. I'm trying to navigate how frequently we have to go to his house, and I don't even know if I can say anything. Okay, love you. Bye. I think so many people struggle with this, and I would definitely struggle with this because I like my space.

I do the opposite? I don't want them at my house. I just want to go to their house. Really? I know. It's weird.

Even when you're in it, in it?

Yeah. Why? I don't know. I just feel better. I mean, maybe because I've never been with someone that their place was very not nice. No, not comfortable. But I like that my space is my space, and I can go back to my things. Interesting. But I relate to lighting. Maybe those are things you can talk about. What are the things that are bothering you about his place that would make it more comfortable for you? He probably would want to know. He got the treat.

Yeah, that's true. He's willing to make some changes. Yeah. I think you could maybe be like, It's a little dark in here. How would you feel about if we put a lamp in here or Or something. I think you could do that. But also some people just like being in their home. And that is hard because I do think the truth is you have to just compromise and know that being in this relationship means you're going to have to spend more time there than you'd like. I have a friend who was in this situation where her partner never wanted to come over to her house, and she was like, I shouldn't always have to be the one to go. And I think that's There becomes a deeper thing. Yeah. It's not even about the house. Yes. There's an imbalance where one person's always giving and the other person is not. So unfortunately, I think you have to go there. But again, I think you could say, I'm so annoying. I'm such a homebody. I really just like being at my house. But of course, for you, I think it's only fair that I come over.

So how do you feel about maybe we put a lamp or something over here?

Say what you like or if the sheets I don't know. Sometimes boys make it more comfy for you, but find out what would make it better for you. I get the two dogs, though. That's like a whole schlep.

It is.

But- But yes, especially if he's brought it up. If no one brings it up, it can be fine. But if he brought it up, then- But he wants.

That means he's feeling that there's an imbalance. Yes.

There's an emotional undertow to it.

Yeah. Sorry. Yeah, I think sorry.

Downsides of being in relationships, to go to people's houses.

Yeah, it's true. Speaking of, you said you spoke to your mom on Mother's Day, and your mom sent you a nice text today. Did you have any feelings about mother's day? Did anything pop up for you?

Yeah. No, I'm like...

Yeah, I mean, it's hard not to.

So intense. Even her text, this is going to sound weird, but it was so nice. I was like, Does she think she's going to die soon? No. I know. That's where my mind goes. I'm like, Oh, she's writing these texts because she doesn't know how much time she has left.

But is she sick?

No. I'm just constantly thinking my kids are going to die.

I know. Same. It's so... Is this an immigrant parent thing?

I don't know. Someone needs to tell us. Do other people feel this way? Because it's constant.

I know. When I'm with them, it's times 100. I need to.

I know. I'll come back from seeing them, I'm sick. I feel like there's a physical toll. My sister doesn't have that because my sister sees them all the time, so she doesn't even really... Obviously, she's seeing that they're aging. But when you see your parent at the airport, you're like, Oh, my God, they look so much older than the last time. I'm not okay for a few days. Just off of that.

I know. I know. I know. So That's what it was bringing up, age. But did it bring up anything fertility-wise?

Oh, interesting. I'll get that around Christmas or my birthday or things that are more coupley. But Mother's Day, no, Interestingly, do you? Yeah.

I have now for, I guess, the past couple of years, Mother's Day feels different now. It hurts a little bit more. But in a weird way because I still don't know what I want, but it's just a reminder that I It's a marker. You don't have this. That's okay. It doesn't mean necessarily you need it, but it is something you don't have, and this is shining a light on that.

Do you think that people who don't want kids feel that way? Do you think the fact that you feel that way on Mother's Day is a sign that you may want kids?

I don't know. We'd have to ask Chelsea Handler. She's the only one I know that's like... Well, no, she's not. I actually know multiple people who are just like, We're not doing that. But yeah, I think because I don't know, There's an added element where it's nebulous. I can't say either way. I'm so sad that I don't have them, or I feel great that I don't have them. It's more like, Gosh, I don't know if I'll ever celebrate this in a way that other people are celebrating it. I wonder. It causes some anxiety a little bit. But yeah, I definitely think about it on Mother's Day.

Do you think that the person you're dating someone and they have a stance on it, it'll affect your decision?

That's a good question. Probably. If I'm in love with someone and they say, I really want kids, that feels easy to me. But if they say, I really don't, that actually feels harder.

Hard, right? Yeah. Both feel hard to me. I was on a date last night. He also doesn't know. I was like, What do I want to hear? I was like, Oh, both would scare me. I think I really need to have kids because then I'd be like, Oh, my God. If I want to be with this person forever, I need to have kids. But also, I don't want kids is also scary because then it's like, Oh, then I'm not having It's so funny.

It is.

Of all the generations, I think we're the one that knows the least. Other generations seem to have just known, do they want or do they not? There wasn't really a choice a long time ago, but I've never known this many people who actually don't know.

Yeah, that's true. Okay, let's see what time are we at. We're at time, but we have other great questions next. We have a porn question for next week. Oh, God. How do I decenter men from my life? Wow. That's huge. That's for next week, too. Okay, great. Also next week, we'll come with some gift guides.

Yes.

Thank you for submitting questions. Please continue to submit questions. We love hearing from you guys. Well, maybe by next week, maybe we'll have tried the robot burger. What are you even going to eat there? You can't eat Wagyu burgers. Yeah, you can eat robot fries. Okay. We'll report back.

Okay, great. Can't wait. Bye. Bye.