Welcome, welcome. Welcome to armchair expert. I'm Doug Barrington, and I'm joined by Lily Padman. Welcome.

I'm Lily Padman and you're Doug Barrington. I want to be. I want to be Doug Liman. Michelle.

What if it was Doug Barrington and Doug Lyman?

I want to be Michelle Montana. Do you know why?

Tell me.

Because my first street in LA was Barrington Avenue.

Oh, so there's.

You lived off Montana.

I didn't live. I wish I lived off Montana.

You lie.

No, that's where the rich people live.

You told me you lived off Montana.

No, I didn't. No, I lived off of Broadway. In between Broadway and Santa Monica Boulevard. Montana is where the nice people live. I guess I was a bachelor.

Michelle Broadway, then.

There you go. Michelle Broadway. That sounds slutty.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I grew up on Barrington. You were Doug Barrington.

Yeah. Right, right, right.

So I will be Michelle Broadway. Montana. Hyphen.

Michelle Broadway.

Okay, great.

We sorted it out. I wonder if you're a listener. You're like, you guys, it's time to hang up. Just say your names and get out. No, that would be a fair. Would that be a fair criticism?

No.

Okay, okay. Michelle. Michelle's got boundaries.

Yes, she is.

And I respect him.

Thank you.

One of her boundaries is Broadway, which runs east and west in Santa Monica.

I wouldn't mind having a pseudonym. What's the other word for it?

Nom de pluyas?

No, it's like Persona, but alter ego. Alter ego. Thank you. That's the word I'm looking for. An alter ego. Michelle Broadway Montana.

Oh, you're adding all of them now?

Yes. She's hyphenated. Cause she came from a family where the mother refused to give up her name.

The mother was stubborn.

Yeah. So I love her. I wanna be her.

Yeah. Okay.

I'm gonna be her.

Great. Michelle Montana. Broadway. Broadway, Montana.

This is what happens when you hyphenate people.

Mess.

Yeah, that's y'all's fault. As long as I get both names in there, you should be happy.

No.

Why'd the order matter? You're saying one order is better?

What if we said Dax Shepherd? Randall.

Great. Enjoy.

Okay, I will.

We have a sweet boy on today. Sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet boy.

Yeah.

His name is Teddy Swims, but I think it should be Teddy sweets.

Oh, yeah, I like that.

He's so sweet. He's so fucking sweet.

Yeah, this was fun. It's so talented.

Yeah. Outrageous. Outrageous. Raw. You, of course, like everyone else, fell deeply in love from his last album. I've tried everything, but therapy among those songs. I lose control.

Whoa.

He's so fucking good. But mostly he's a sweet, sweet boy. Please enjoy. Teddy Montana. Broadway swims.

Getting a car lift going. I see you, man. That's sick.

Oh, thanks for noticing. I mean, you would understand. This is a dream of all dreams. I have a fucking car lift in my garage.

Hell yeah, brother. That's what I'm doing.

A horsepower sitting on it.

That's what you like to see, baby? Success, baby. We love to see it.

I gotta take you in a little bit.

Okay.

This would be really inappropriate if you were a female guest. But I'm gonna let my eyes start at your toes and I'm gonna follow your legs up very slowly and I'm gonna look at everything.

Do a body scan.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm immediately curious who some of these portraits are of. So let's start on your left leg there. Who's that gentleman?

Okay, this guy is Chris Farley dressed as Han Solo.

Oh, my God. Incredible, wonderful, wonderful.

And I got a little Dave Chappelle right here.

Oh, we love Dave.

He's the best.

Have you met him and got to show him?

Yeah, I didn't get to show him to thigh. I got to go to his Grammy party and, you know, he was doing this kind of like open jam thing and I got to go up there and sing. And it was so sick, man. Thundercat was playing bass. Corey Henry's on the keys. It was the coolest shit ever.

Oh, yeah.

He got up and sang. It was just star setting over there. And so I got to go up there and meet him.

Does he make you nervous?

He was already like three sheets to the wind, inviting people off. And he was like, teddy, everybody says you're awesome. Let's fucking hear what this is about. So I was like, dude, I got a tattoo of you onyou won her, right?Overdose. Right over.And then you started singing in the chorus in high school.Yeah. Funny enough, my senior year, I was kind of really falling behind. I was such a bad student, and we had this credit recovery thing where you would go in class and you could do a few weeks of online bullshit and get your credits there. So I found this thing called Alpha Omega and conyers. And it's basically you go pick up work every week for, like, eight weeks, and you'd read a chapter and you could pretty much Google all the answers, do the test on the back, and then turn it in. You get credit. So I went over one summer going into my senior year, did all my senior core classes and all my credits, I was behind because I was still practicing in 10th grade going into senior year. So I was like, fuck it. If I just do all these, I can come back and not have to do anything but theater smart. So I had already had my credits. And so I remember the principal calling in the office and talking to my mom, and she was like, I'm not signing off on this. You just coming in here to do theater course, show choir, and video production.That's not gonna happen.You can't do that.And I was like, well, I already.Got the credits, so I am doing that.So that's what I'm doing. Yeah. And she's like, well, I'm still kidding you in the classes. And I was like, well, I'm not going. And so I stayed all my core classes my senior year. Just didn't go to it. I got zeros. I graduated the bottom of my class, but I did go graduate, so fuck her, you know?Yeah, you did it.Cause she couldn't say I couldn't do that. But they passed a law in Rockdale county now that they can't do joint enrollment in places. I think I ruined it for some of the kids that were getting college credit.It may be for the best. Stay tuned for more armchair expert, if you dare. Did you have any fantasies about, like, going to do musical theater?Yeah, I still one day wanna pursue that again eventually, but I've kind of put myself in a box on roles.I can play with the tattoos.Yeah, it's gotta be a specific role now if it comes to acting again.I was thinking that, well, when did tattoos start?I got my first one when I was 16. I got it covered up. It was a cross, and it had my last name in a bander. It said Dimsdale, and it said established 1992. It was so corny, bro. And I cutting the sleeves off my shirt.Yeah, dude.By the time I was 18, I was like, what the fuck? This is so stupid.It's not that I don't think kids should get tattoos. It's just that they can't pick a good one. I'd almost sign off on it, but they need, like, a panel of elders that approves your tattoo.I agree. And not that I'm the one to take advice of tattoos from, but I think 16 year olds might be too early.Kind of the first one you see, you're like, that'd look awesome. Doesn't really matter what it is you see.And I thought I was having to cross my name and, like, you know, I was like, you really thought it through. Yeah, I tried anyway, but I just wanted something.You know what's cute, Monica, is I heard him say in an interview that what he wanted to be when he grew up was tattooed. That was a destination.Yeah. And I wasn't a real job, obviously. Doing tattoos is one receiving money.Yeah.I remember my mom used to give us $10 at the end of the week when we did our chores for the week. And so on Sunday, we'd have to go to church, and then we'd have to give 10% of our tithes and offerings, which is a good thing. And I appreciate that principle now. But giving up a dollar out of $10? I was like, fuck, I'm broke now. And my older brother would always get $5. Cause he's a fucking overachiever.Show off.Yeah. What a weenie. I would go to the mexican restaurant every Sunday, or Henderson's, and they have those fake tattoo machines, and I put them cordially in and just cash out, slapping and stand in the mirror all.Over my body feeling awesome.Yeah.And did you feel protected by them? Like, what was the drive?I know. I just felt tough. All the people I looked up to had tattoos, and they were badasses. My first concert I went to and found this bug for was 2007, warped tour. Paramore was there circa survived. Yeah, he's like girls coheating, Cambria. There was so many great bands at the time that were just my world.And what actors did you think were cool?Adam Sandler is my fucking dude.Not Jack black.Jack black is my dude, but Adam Sandler is. I mean, I got, that's quite tac. Billy Madison tattooing, Carl Weathers from Chubbs Peterson from Happy Gilmore right here. My dad raised me on nothing but Adam Sandler and Martin Lawrence and Chris Farley and SNl Cass, you want to know a trip?Teddy, the CEO of Ford right now is Chris Farley's cousin.No way.Jim Farley. And we interviewed him and it's uncanny.So similar.I was tripping out, thinking at times I was talking to Chris.I think that blood really runs thick.Very specific.Yeah. Listened to the book, the Chris Farley show his brothers got together and wrote. And it's beautiful if you haven't ever read it.Oh, I haven't.Oh, it's about his whole life. The ending of it is just the last words he says in his life is just so sad. He's been up for four days. His prostitute is leaving his hotel and he goes after her and he collapses. And then she takes his watch and stuff and leaves him a note. And last thing he says to her before she goes is, please don't leave me. And then they find him dead like the next evening.Yeah, yeah. Such deep loneliness.God, it's so sad. I mean, especially if you were struggling, his story would just have you in absolute tears. It's so powerful and sad.Yeah, it is. There's a lot of things in that stew. It's not just addiction, it's also these highs and lows. We're talking about this kind of untenable high of public adoration and then, yeah, loneliness and then an ability to connect with anybody, but also not being with anybody ever.That's so much of it too, is that ability to always want to please and want to be around. And as soon as people are around, you gotta make them comfortable. But then you kind of feel more alone in a lot of those rooms too, where you're just always turning it off and turning it on. That's the biggest thing I struggle with too, is that there's times I'm like, oh, fuck, I can't deal with all these people, you know? But as soon as I do, it's always the turning it on is the hard part. But once I'm on, it's like, how am I gonna get this off? There's just this black and white thing that's going on all the time in your brain. There's no in between. It's just on or off.What kind of things were you struggling with as a kid in high school? Sounds like you had friends. You fucking finagled this school system. You got a good dad.A lot of what I struggled with is a lot of stuff with my mother, and I wanted to live with my dad, and I don't want to. Like, I don't know if I'm ready to quite talk about certain things with my mother and her man. She married and that whole side of the family. It's not something I really publicly spoke about. And I don't know if my mom would be like, yeah, yeah, you don't want to hurt your mom. Yeah. But we went through a big, really tough time, and with her decisions she made with that man, and I had to get out of there. And there was a lot of times where they were doing fine, but I'd rather live with my dad and struggle in the hood and raise my brothers. And there was always a love there that I was getting. Love was so much more than just this fake picture of what a beautiful house and a beautiful life looks like. I think there was a lot of it, too, in regards to my upbringing in church and seeing the inside and outs of it. A lot of smoke and mirrors to it.Not that my granddad was ever not who he said he was. There was also some things about it that was so strong, like, this is right and this is wrong. There's no gray areas. And the way he believed everything was right. And if you didn't believe it exactly how he believed it, the way he believed it, then you were just wrong, and you were going to hell.Right. It wasn't just a disagreement. It was, you're amoral, and you're gonna end up in hell because of this difference.And if you don't believe it, just like he did, I mean, he was headstrong so much that he wouldn't even go to a restaurant where there was a bar in it. He had a wood shop. He would never take money from the church. As a pastor, he's like, we don't do that. He was working on building houses. He was a carpenter. He had to be exactly what he read jesus was, and sweet man, but if it wasn't this way. I remember one of the first things he said to me. He wanted me to come sing at the church when I really started getting music. And he was like, all these kids out here nowadays, breakdancing and hip hopping and all that for the Lord. And I was like, pop, nobody's broke dancing since my mom was growing up. Dog, we're not breakdancing for the Lord. Also, we're break dancing for the Lord. Let them break dance for the Lord, man. It's not a sin. It's not bad to do rap songs for Jesus. If they want to do that, let them keep.I mean, the songs will probably be bad, but there's nothing wrong with it.And my mom was always thinking I was up to something. I knew that came from a place of her just trying to seem like she was perfect, but also she was a pastor's kid. And now that I'm older, I'm like, oh, you were a fucking wild one. And you were thinking I was doing shit that I was not even doing. She was thinking I was into all sorts of drugs at like twelve. And I was like, mom, I don't even know anybody that does that. I haven't even seen anybody doing crack in front of me. What do you think I'm doing? They'll let my window shut. Oh, I know what you did. You snuck out, you jumped down here, you jumped off the roof. I'm like, no, mom, I'm just walking out the front door if I'm going anywhere. I got into boozing way too early. When I was at my mom's, they had a bar downstairs, you know, my stepdad had, and I could just go in there and kind of fill up a water bottle. I had been probably drinking since I was like ten. Just slugging them back on the bus, you know, and being a little hammered at school.And I'm like, it's 7th grade and.We'Re like, what comfort did it give you? The only time I was really optimistic in life, Washington, when I had booze in me.When I think about why I started drinking or why I started smoking cigarettes, it was truly to be cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that was all there was to it. I just wanted to be cool. And I was hanging out with these kids and they were smoking weed and I wanted to smoke weed. And if I could be the one to get the alcohol, then I was the fucking legend and I could get it at any point. No telling what we were drinking. We were just mixing shit up in a water bottle. And like I was bringing it out to the boys and we're walking through the neighborhood like slugging it back. Or hey, mister. And somebody at the gas station like, hey, mister, can you get us a 40? Can you get us a pack of cigarettes?And there knit community of musicians. And a lot of kids were doing metal from when I got out of high school til even now, you know. And I was still in a metal band called Ayres at the time. And this band called Wild Harp. Me and my buddy Addie Maxwell, who plays guitar for me still and writes a lot with me. So weird, man. I had everything kind of happen to me once. This girl I was with at the time had left me, my car had broken down, my roommates had moved out. I walked like the last 2 miles to my work and the place was closing down. Everything just hit the fan at once and really bad off at the time.What age is this?I must have been 26, 27. This was right before teddy swims really started happening. At the time I was with this girl who had a child and her baby daddy wasn't around. And I was even about to go get this full time job and was trying to like, think I was like, you know what, man? Maybe I just need to raise this kid. He's worth it. And I almost gave it up. And all this shit just hit the fan all at once. And I called my dad and I was like, man, can I move there to your house? And I just really need to place a crash for a couple months. So I put my mattress basically on the floor in his garage and just try to, like, camp out there. And there was no carpet or anything. And my buddy Lee, who had recorded most of my metal bands, was actually in Loganville. He was right down the road from my dad's house. And so we started just kind of messing with stuff. And he got me in this band wildheart, and that started going somewhere. And me and Addie started doing hip hop music because he was making beats for some rappers and sending it out.And we decided to make a hip hop song. And we did one song. And my pal Tyler Carter was in this band issues. He comes over and he's doing a solo tour, and he hears our one song, and he's like, man, this shit's badass, dude. Give me, like, 30 minutes of music and you guys come on tour with me. I'm like, we only have one song. He's like, I'm going to the UK.It's only four minutes long.So he's like, I'm going to the UK with issues, and I'll be back in a month. You have a month to get, like, 30 minutes of music. So me and Addy grinded out a bunch of hip hop songs where we're rapping on these songs.Is the quality going downhill quickly?It's getting better.Oh, it's getting better.Yeah, it's getting better. We're getting better at rapping. Addie's crushing it. I'm okay, but it's not my thing. I'm here to sing, but this is my opportunity to go on tour, so fuck it. We're here. So we get back, we have this thing trying to figure out our name. I was going by swims by that time, and it was just someone who was a me. Play this character of this rapper. Tyler's like, why don't we just put Teddy in front of. Everybody calls you that? And then boom, you're teddy swims. And I was like, dude, I really kind of fucking hate that. And then he's like, well, it's my tour, so I'm putting it on the flyer. So it's Addie Maxwell slims opening up for Tyler Carter.Jton Collins.Yes, sir.Jayton. That's a pretty unique name.Yeah, it is. I've never met another one.Yeah, but you were going by Teddy.Yeah, I've always been called Teddy because I was waiting tables and stuff. Jaden's hard. They're like, Jake, Jamie, Jason. So my look is just always, oh, there's our teddy.Oh, like teddy bear.Yeah. And that's where I just kind of came.Jaden, that's so sweet. Okay.We end up doing this, and this was March of 2019. And then we get back, and the teddy swims thing was kind of cool. Maybe I could do shit as steady swims. And I just used the name Teddy swims and uploaded a Michael Jackson cover of Rock with.You watched it this morning. It's incredible.June 25 of 2019. And that was ten years after he died. And so we wanted to just pay homage, and it started going crazy, and we were like, guys, why don't we just turn this shit into teddy swims? Let's see what happens here. And we kept doing the covers. And most beautiful thing is my manager, Luke, who lives out here, he hopped in a car and drove a Prius with a U Haul on the back of it all the way to Georgia. And we moved in this little house in Snellville. It was a five bedroom house. Me and all my friends, about twelve of us, moved into this place, and we built plyboard walls and built two studios in there. Split rooms into two rooms. I was like, dude, if we get six months, we started making our merch and distributing it out of the garage, filming our own stuff, singing and recording our own stuff, playing and writing our own stuff, doing the covers. I quit. My job was getting floated by my boys, and just six months of this, guys, this will work. And I kid you not. December 24 of 2019, a day less than six months, we get signed on Warner Records, and I get this fucking million dollar deal and put all my buddies on salary.The manifestation of just you and your friends coming together and being like, guys, we can do this if we just all put our heads together.Yeah, it's kind of the full commitment.Moment, and it feels like you're so behind on life. It's always at the 28, 29, 30 mark. You're just like, God, I'm so far behind. And the kids that are coming up too, that are making music like you got Billie Eilish crushing at 16. I'm like, God, what the fuck am I doing here?I'm a decade older than her. What's gonna happen to me? Why pick rock with you? I wanna applaud that. I think off the wall's the best of all those albums.Yeah, I got it hanging on my wall now. Man, rock with you. Weirdly enough, because it was that time we had found the stems of it online. Sometimes producers want to just take something and mix. You know, my producer was just going in and he had found the stems of it and was like, I want to mix this up. Which is really cool. Cause you can hear Rod Temperton. When you get all the stems of the song. You can actually mute a bunch of the stuff. And there's the original mumble track of it, too. And so you hear rob like. And he's just like, kind of doing.The mumble where they wrote it down, guiding them.And it's so cool. It's like they had the instrumental donna. He went and made up the melody with his mumbles. And then they went and wrote the words to the mumbles. Oh, sick.And is that in the finished song?The mumbles aren't. But when you get the stems, you can hear that they kept that in there. It's so crazy. Cause it's similar to a lot of times we do the same thing where you just kinda come up with a mumble of the melody first. And then sometimes you might be almost saying a word and you're like, what are you saying there? Oh, shit. That sounds like you're saying this. And then you come up with some beautiful words. My song, the door, for instance, my buddy just already had the beat and the bumble of it. And we kind of just. Oh, it sounded like you said. Started writing to this.You reverse engineer it kind of.Yeah. And so it was cool to see that happen and see that was still the way that it was done.Yeah.With you got, I don't know, 10 million views or something. Or maybe more. When I looked at it this morning, it had 2 million views. But you're still the one by Shania Twain. Seems like a very. From left field choice.Oh, my God, I need to hear that.And that one has 167 million views.It was monster.Yeah, yeah. That's probably the one that gets Warner records attention.I think the biggest thing is. Cause the original version we did of it, I dedicated it to my mother. And I was like, this goes out to my mom. You know, I love you and the touch people.It's kind of a mystery. Cause rock with you seems more in tune with you. It just doesn't seem like you're gonna sing that. I think there's also some of the mixed messages of looking at you. Singing that song is very interesting.That's the thing that first worked out for me on rock with you is once it hit this 500,000 views, people were looking at my face and my whole thing going on and singing that song, they were like, okay, either this is gonna be funny, or this is gonna be really good.Yes.Or it's gonna be both. And it ended up being, I think, quite funny and actually good. People were like, I did not expect this guy to sing this way. So we kinda leaned into that gimmick so much, and it's been a thing that's really pivotal in my career. Real music videos have never worked for us. Just playing the song really quite works for you. I just find that it's always when somebody says, like, listen to this guy, okay, now look what he looks like. You know, it's always been my thing. And so we just totally fucking lean on, pedal to the metal, on making sure my face is in everything, and while I'm singing. So people were like, whoa, it's a good voice, but I don't think it's as good as the juxtaposition versus what I look like. People are fucking stunned, and it's helped me out so much.That makes sense. Yeah. If you look the part perfectly, it would be a foregone conclusion.Yeah.So there's nothing novel or They came to my show in my meet and greet too, and he had us all dressed up and shit with the tattoos going, and they drew them on. It's so cool, bro, watching kids do that, especially. It's so awesome.Obviously, I have tattoos, but I have no face tattoos. What's the chat in your head as you go in? And you're like, well, we're gonna go all in on this.Well, the first one I got, so it sayss car, and they have all that shit, I just. I don't even listen. It's overly cautious.Well, except not when it counts.Side swiping's not. Yeah, it doesn't have any sensors. Cause think if you opened your door, it would start beeping as the. I don't know. I don't know why it seems like.At this point they should be able to know when you're about to hit a pole.Hit a pole? Yeah. Did it dent it or just scrape it?I think it's just scraped. I honestly haven't look too hard because I'm too stressed.That's a good method. Often if I scratch my wheels, parallel parking, I don't let myself look at it. When I get out of the car, I just carry on with whatever I'm gonna do because if it's in my head when I get to wherever I'm going, it's just gonna ruin my whole thing. And I have succeeded sometimes in forgetting to even look at it. And then weeks later, I'm like, ooh, that rim's fucked up. But now it's like someone else did it.Oh, God.Okay.Yeah, so whatever. That's part of the PM's. And of course, you know, I was like, of course this happened because I don't know how I'm functioning like, I.This is a busy doozy.This is a big one. It is. They're getting worse.They're getting bigger, I think.Cause perimenopause.Nope. I know you read that book, but you're not there yet.Okay.There'll be plenty of time for you to be peri.Perimenopausal.Perimenopausal.I know, but it seems odd that they're getting worse and blood's getting less. But the. But the symptoms are getting worse. Like, it's not.It's not ideal.Anyway. I'll just. You's a very fascinating one.It is. And some people, of course, again, you're right. There's so many nice people on there. There's so many people that are like, no, she's just kidding or whatever. A lot of defense, which is sweet. But then even that. Even when you. This is why you can't take any of it, because, well, first of all, it's a roller coaster. You're like, oh, that's nice.Oh, my God.That's horrible. Like, it's too much. And there was, like, one person who said, no, no, I like that you.Have a voice picked out for her. Yeah.Yeah.You already have a voice picked up.Because it was nice that she said she delivers things weird, but she means well. Okay, that's actually not helpful. Yeah. And then, of course. And I'm like, do I deliver things weird? Like, what is happening now?I will tell you this, okay. You're not interested in my approach to all this, but I'm gonna tell it to you. So, like, when I'm on other people's things, like, I was on Theo Vaughn's podcast. I'm not gonna dare look at those comments. I was on Peter Attias. I'm not gonna dare. Like, I saw his post of our interview, and I'm like, stay away because.People don't love you.Well, because they're there for that host. And then I also. This could be my story. But I also think a lot of people on the right, I think I'm, like, a super far left liberal. And so I'm just immediately, no matter what I say, I'm a libtard perpetuating this terrible. So I just know when an audience, like, if I go on a show where an audience is more right leaning. I just don't even. I would never even glance at that. Cause I just assume couple hundred of those listeners are just gonna. It's a great opportunity. Sound off about the left. In those instances, I do choose to think, well, Theo's got a million listeners, and I bet most of them just liked it because we like each other.Yeah.Yeah. And then there's going to be this handful that negative way. So, yeah, I'm looking at her, and then I thought, what if this person is one of the people who's come up to me and said something nice?Oh, sure.Then I started to get paranoid about all the people who come up and say nice things. I'm like, well, what if they're nice in person? Because people are nice in person.Sure.But then they're.Alter ego.Yeah.Yeah. Kitsch witch.Your sister.Why do they think that's callie's? What's hers?Kitschwage was your sister's cooking thing.Yeah. What's Callie's k?Watch so close.There's a w and a c and.An h and a k. She's private, though, so don't follow her.Okay, well, you could apply. That's how you do it. When someone's private, you apply to be their friend. I've applied to many people's.Me, too.Yeah.I actually think it's fun because then you're accepted. It's harder to. I didn't see bad boys, and I really want to see it before it leaves the movie theater. Any chance you could go to. This was yesterday. And he's said, oh, my God, I can. So we met at americana at 04:00 p.m. it's so fun to go meet him at the movies at 04:00 p.m. also, it's hot as Hades in LA. Everyone needs to know. So I was also like, I want to beat the heat. I love. I get really in the mood to go to the movie theater.You and Kristen love to say, beat the heat.You gotta beat the heat. It's imperative. And so I have so much muscle memory from not having air conditioning and spending my whole day at the AMC seven in Santa Monica to beat the heat. I buy one ticket and then I go right into every single theater without pain.Yeah.So we go there, and clearly other people are there to beat the heat too, because we get in there, and at first, we have the entire movie theater to ourselves, which is so fun. We're so excited to be in there completely by ourselves. And then some older gal wanders in, and, I mean, right away, it doesn't look like she's there for bad boys. It definitely looks like she's there to beat the heat. And then she probably came from another movie that just ended because she came about five minutes.Okay.And then she just sat down in the very first seat that was offered. You know, the first seat coming out of the hallway.Yeah.No one would pick that seat in an empty movie theater.Sure.Okay. There's a lot of clues here.Okay.She sat down, and then within seven or eight minutes, she was out cold. She was beating the heat by going.You'Re taking a nap.Yes. And I'm talking dead asleep. And there was one point where the action got so loud that in her sleep, she covered her ears. And you're not gonna like this, but of course, you took a photo. I started taking pictures, and it's not a good look. For me to do that. But tell me you're not happy I did this. I want you to scroll to the left. Okay. There was a couple times where we thought she passed, as you can see in the photos. This is why this story's not very good, because, of course, I'm not gonna post these pictures, but. Oh, okay. But now, did you find them? Where she's sleeping with her hands over her earth because there's tons of gunfire and explosives going on.I'm so upset that her sleep is getting disrupted.And then the worst was I kept. I had to take every time she changed position.It's so hot.Yes. Thank chatting with the guy. We're like, what's your plan here? Are you allowed to touch her? You're gonna have to touch her. No, he's gonna have to.He's gonna have to get close to ma'am.Yes. He's gonna do all that, and then she's just gonna, in her sleep, cover her ears, and he's gonna have to touch her. And he's, like, 17, you know, he's a teenager.Bet. Where is the best place to touch someone to wake them up?This shoulder. We talked about that.Oh, you did? Okay.Yeah. You're like, you gotta poke. Just. Same way that guy poked me at the gas station. You gotta just give him a poke to the shoulder.Well, that did not go well.No, but I wasn't asleep at the movie theater.I actually. My instinct is the knee. That's too close to the pride.That's the vagina. Yeah, yeah. You're like. You're touching her legs. Shoulders, like the.But shoulder's close to the breast.I think it's the most standard place point of contact with a stranger.But then one of his fingers slips.But you don't feel like someone's about to cut you off. Like, you're walking and there's gonna be a collision, and you've gotta actually, like, touch them. You always grab their shoulders, go for the knees, grab their inner thighs.Yeah. Interesting. Okay.Oh, we loved it. Like, this is the exact type of thing that makes Nate and I so happy, just thinking about this young boy.What a gift for you.Yeah, we had a lot of gifts. We love Dane. Eric Dane. He's so handsome.Friend of the pot. Check him out.Yeah.If you've missed him, I was at the americana two days before that.Seen a movie.I wasn't beating the heat. I was in the , but I didn't earn it. I just have it.Well, I earned mine.Oh, okay. Yours is an accomplishment.Yeah, exactly. Because it is not that it doesn't hurt. It's that I'm unwilling.Right.To say it hurts.Oh, my God. This is. Yeah. Did I tell you this. This great conversation Lincoln and I had on the trip about fear? I told And I thought, all right, I'll give it a shot.Okay.And I did. And I'm gonna go back.You're gonna go back to hair?Yeah, I'm gonna go back to full hair. I kind of like hairy legs.Yeah. I don't like this. No, no, it looks fine. It looks great. But it, it. First of all, I never once noticed that you had hairy legs. Which means you probably didn't well, I.Will say I have a very incongruous hair distribution, which is I have no hair on my chest and none of my likes. I don't have much on my stomach. I'm pretty hairless. Cut to legs. Legs are fully hairy. They're inordinately hairy, especially given how hairless I am everywhere else.All right, well, I'm glad you tried it. It's always good to try things.Fuck it. I don't. You know, I was like, okay, I'll do this. And then when I was doing it, my sister was in and out of the scene.God, your poor sister. I think she has to witness.Yeah. I was doing it on the balcony of my room with Lincoln. So the hair will just blow off into your house, hopefully land in your backyard.All your rats.Yeah.And my sister goes, what's happening here? And I said, oh, well, Lincoln really thinks it was time for me to trim my leg hair. And she said, oh, what a nice father you have. I used to beg Barton to cut his chest hair, and he never would. So I was like, oh, maybe this is a thing. Kids hate how hairy their parents are. It is so gross. If you're young and you're like, why are you so hairy?No, it's just life. God, we're so mean to each other. Ding, ding, ding.Kids in particular, they let it rip.Oh, yeah. I wonder if the person who wrote I was inseparable was actually a kid.Could have been a kid who just wanted you to trim your hair.That's right. Okay. He talked about the 2007 warp tour.Uh huh.And it reminded me that Callie and I went to warp tour.You did?Uh huh. In 2003. I checked with her, the date. I thought maybe that was the one I'd been to in Atlanta. Mm hmm.Was it fun, or were you scared?I think I was a little scared, but we also had fun. Callie was more adventurous. Yeah, I don't know if adventurous is the word.Okay.But, yeah, I guess maybe it's the word.But she was fearless. Is that what we were going for?I guess she wasn't scared.Right. So adventurous.Yeah, but she's not advent. That's not a word I would ever.Use to describe, so it's a confident, mature.I think she was. No, I was mature. No, I think she. She was a little bit more spunky, maybe.Okay, savvy.No, I was very savvy.Okay. She was spunky.I forgot to mention this the other day when we were talking about Noah's birthday party. Strawberry boy. Yeah. Max's dad, Robert. I want to shout out Robert.Oh, interesting.He came up to me and he said, monica, I'm an armchair.No. Oh, my God.So sweet.He must be such a good dad if he's an armchair.He's a very nice person.Oh, wow.Very nice. Shout out Julie. She also listens. That's Max's mom. Okay, while we're at it, I should shout out Callie's dad, Dan. He also listens.Oh, my God.I know all these nice parents. They're really nice. Oh, I think my friend. Okay, I don't. I guess we don't.Jake.I think my friend Christina's translation. Thank you, guys. I really. It is so sweet that people who are in our lives, and especially parents. I don't expect any parents to ever be listening to it.Does it scare you at all?I don't think.You don't think on it too hard.I don't want to think on it too hard, but I do think it's very kind anyway. Okay, I wanted to play.This should get right up to their mouth on the screen.Close your eyes, let the rhythm get into you don't try to fight it there ain't nothing that you can do relax your mind lay back and move with my. You gotta feel that he and we go by the boogey. Share that be the love. I wanna rock with you dance you in today I wanna rock with you all night we're gonna rock the night away.He's so good.He's so good. I admire anyone who tries to dupe Michael Jackson. That's why when I saw it, the board, when they did the Quincy Jones retrospective and they had people singing the Michael Jackson songs, I was blown away at a couple of singers that they actually sounded better, which I thought was impossible. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.He's so good. Okay, I found the exact timestamp of the episode of acquired on Taylor Swift, where they start talking about the music industry.Okay.And I was gonna listen and then recap.But you're gonna play.People should just. No, it's long. It's long, but people should listen to that. Cause they do such a good job of breaking it all down and how little money streams make and how it's all, like, broken down between the songwriter and this and that. It's very complex, but. Okay. So if you go to acquired and you search Taylor Swift, it starts. Cause these episodes are so long.Yeah.They're like 4 hours of them, right?Yeah. It starts at 1 hour, eight minutes and 38 seconds. So I highly recommend that. And then we talk about Max Martin. Max Martin. Speaking of Taylor. Ding ding ding. Why they've worked together.Oh, okay.He's just very well known music producer. Huge Swedish.Oh, so wasn't. So was like, dog or whatever. Shania Twain's husband. He was swedish, too. Or danish or something.Swedish.Yeah. That's interesting. Yes.They have a big. You didn't meet any when you were there any music producers?Maybe that guy who was mad at me at the gas station was a huge music producer. That would explain how, like, he thought things should be going.Was it this guy?Fuck. That was him. No, no, that was not. That man's much younger.Yeah. Max Martin's 53. We should have him on. That would be great. All right, well, that's it.That's all the facts.Yeah. Let me just double check to make sure I got them all. Talked a lot about tattoos.Yeah. I was gonna explain to people what a tattoo is.Yeah.Okay. How it works. I have one interesting fact about tattoos.Okay.This perplexed me for, like, 20 years. Once you learn that your full dermis replaces itself every few years.Yeah.Like, no part of your skin will be here in a few years. So how the fuck does that the tattoo stay? And I asked doctors this question I asked people for, like, 20 years.Okay.And finally someone explained to me that what's happening is that the ink is forever sinking. It just sinks through every new layer of skin to the bone. Well, no, obviously, it doesn't get inside and disappear, but that it just. It sinks as the skin grows up. Isn't that fascinating?I don't really get it.You don't?I mean, I do in some ways.But, like, it's not. Well, one interesting thing about that is, like, it's not fixed. Knowing that it's sinking, it's almost shocking. It doesn't, like, get obscured more.Right.It's, like, not permanent. That's what's interesting. It's on the move. It's like, forever on the move, sinking down into these new cells that are.Growing up, but just through one, each individual. Individual pour, though.Yeah. Or cell, or however the cell works, and it incorporates the sinking ink, I guess.Should I look it up? Just see.Okay, sure. That's one thing I never did do, is search it on the Internet, which is curious.I don't. Tattoos disappear. Okay. This says. Okay, there's. AI says tattoos can be. I hate that. By the way, the way that. Now AI is the first thing you see.Yeah. And you just don't know if it's telling you the truth or not exactly.But I'll read it anyway. Tattoos can be permanent because the body's immune system and the skin's dermis work together to hold onto the ink. When a tattoo needle punctures the skin, the immune system sends macrophage cells to the wound to close it up. The ink is a foreign invader, so the macrophages eat it up and get stuck in the dermis. When the macrophages die, they pass the ink to the next generation of macrophages, and this cycle continues indefinitely.So that's the mechanism by which it's.Sinking, passing onto the new cell.Yeah, just passing through all the new layers that are coming up.This other thing from mad rabbit tattoos says the reason tattoos last permanently is because of their location in the dermis layer of our skin, where the macrophages cells that live there hold onto your tattoo ink and pass it to future generations of cells. Like a microscopic family heirloom.So weird.Yeah. That's cool. I'm glad we talked about it.Me, too. I don't think that's, like, a super common curiosity. It's just permanent. That's that. You hear it's permanent, and you're like, okay, next thing. Next topic.Yeah.How do we beat the heat? You know? Which? We're not doing terribly well in here.I'm telling. It's hot in here. I told you. I told you.I would say that. The ambient temperature in here is probably, like, 83.Yeah, I live like this.Monica, we need to get you to a pool.Still haven't been to a pool.All right, love you. Thanks for having me over. Bye.

you won her, right?

Overdose. Right over.

And then you started singing in the chorus in high school.

Yeah. Funny enough, my senior year, I was kind of really falling behind. I was such a bad student, and we had this credit recovery thing where you would go in class and you could do a few weeks of online bullshit and get your credits there. So I found this thing called Alpha Omega and conyers. And it's basically you go pick up work every week for, like, eight weeks, and you'd read a chapter and you could pretty much Google all the answers, do the test on the back, and then turn it in. You get credit. So I went over one summer going into my senior year, did all my senior core classes and all my credits, I was behind because I was still practicing in 10th grade going into senior year. So I was like, fuck it. If I just do all these, I can come back and not have to do anything but theater smart. So I had already had my credits. And so I remember the principal calling in the office and talking to my mom, and she was like, I'm not signing off on this. You just coming in here to do theater course, show choir, and video production.

That's not gonna happen.

You can't do that.

And I was like, well, I already.

Got the credits, so I am doing that.

So that's what I'm doing. Yeah. And she's like, well, I'm still kidding you in the classes. And I was like, well, I'm not going. And so I stayed all my core classes my senior year. Just didn't go to it. I got zeros. I graduated the bottom of my class, but I did go graduate, so fuck her, you know?

Yeah, you did it.

Cause she couldn't say I couldn't do that. But they passed a law in Rockdale county now that they can't do joint enrollment in places. I think I ruined it for some of the kids that were getting college credit.

It may be for the best. Stay tuned for more armchair expert, if you dare. Did you have any fantasies about, like, going to do musical theater?

Yeah, I still one day wanna pursue that again eventually, but I've kind of put myself in a box on roles.

I can play with the tattoos.

Yeah, it's gotta be a specific role now if it comes to acting again.

I was thinking that, well, when did tattoos start?

I got my first one when I was 16. I got it covered up. It was a cross, and it had my last name in a bander. It said Dimsdale, and it said established 1992. It was so corny, bro. And I cutting the sleeves off my shirt.

Yeah, dude.

By the time I was 18, I was like, what the fuck? This is so stupid.

It's not that I don't think kids should get tattoos. It's just that they can't pick a good one. I'd almost sign off on it, but they need, like, a panel of elders that approves your tattoo.

I agree. And not that I'm the one to take advice of tattoos from, but I think 16 year olds might be too early.

Kind of the first one you see, you're like, that'd look awesome. Doesn't really matter what it is you see.

And I thought I was having to cross my name and, like, you know, I was like, you really thought it through. Yeah, I tried anyway, but I just wanted something.

You know what's cute, Monica, is I heard him say in an interview that what he wanted to be when he grew up was tattooed. That was a destination.

Yeah. And I wasn't a real job, obviously. Doing tattoos is one receiving money.

Yeah.

I remember my mom used to give us $10 at the end of the week when we did our chores for the week. And so on Sunday, we'd have to go to church, and then we'd have to give 10% of our tithes and offerings, which is a good thing. And I appreciate that principle now. But giving up a dollar out of $10? I was like, fuck, I'm broke now. And my older brother would always get $5. Cause he's a fucking overachiever.

Show off.

Yeah. What a weenie. I would go to the mexican restaurant every Sunday, or Henderson's, and they have those fake tattoo machines, and I put them cordially in and just cash out, slapping and stand in the mirror all.

Over my body feeling awesome.

Yeah.

And did you feel protected by them? Like, what was the drive?

I know. I just felt tough. All the people I looked up to had tattoos, and they were badasses. My first concert I went to and found this bug for was 2007, warped tour. Paramore was there circa survived. Yeah, he's like girls coheating, Cambria. There was so many great bands at the time that were just my world.

And what actors did you think were cool?

Adam Sandler is my fucking dude.

Not Jack black.

Jack black is my dude, but Adam Sandler is. I mean, I got, that's quite tac. Billy Madison tattooing, Carl Weathers from Chubbs Peterson from Happy Gilmore right here. My dad raised me on nothing but Adam Sandler and Martin Lawrence and Chris Farley and SNl Cass, you want to know a trip?

Teddy, the CEO of Ford right now is Chris Farley's cousin.

No way.

Jim Farley. And we interviewed him and it's uncanny.

So similar.

I was tripping out, thinking at times I was talking to Chris.

I think that blood really runs thick.

Very specific.

Yeah. Listened to the book, the Chris Farley show his brothers got together and wrote. And it's beautiful if you haven't ever read it.

Oh, I haven't.

Oh, it's about his whole life. The ending of it is just the last words he says in his life is just so sad. He's been up for four days. His prostitute is leaving his hotel and he goes after her and he collapses. And then she takes his watch and stuff and leaves him a note. And last thing he says to her before she goes is, please don't leave me. And then they find him dead like the next evening.

Yeah, yeah. Such deep loneliness.

God, it's so sad. I mean, especially if you were struggling, his story would just have you in absolute tears. It's so powerful and sad.

Yeah, it is. There's a lot of things in that stew. It's not just addiction, it's also these highs and lows. We're talking about this kind of untenable high of public adoration and then, yeah, loneliness and then an ability to connect with anybody, but also not being with anybody ever.

That's so much of it too, is that ability to always want to please and want to be around. And as soon as people are around, you gotta make them comfortable. But then you kind of feel more alone in a lot of those rooms too, where you're just always turning it off and turning it on. That's the biggest thing I struggle with too, is that there's times I'm like, oh, fuck, I can't deal with all these people, you know? But as soon as I do, it's always the turning it on is the hard part. But once I'm on, it's like, how am I gonna get this off? There's just this black and white thing that's going on all the time in your brain. There's no in between. It's just on or off.

What kind of things were you struggling with as a kid in high school? Sounds like you had friends. You fucking finagled this school system. You got a good dad.

A lot of what I struggled with is a lot of stuff with my mother, and I wanted to live with my dad, and I don't want to. Like, I don't know if I'm ready to quite talk about certain things with my mother and her man. She married and that whole side of the family. It's not something I really publicly spoke about. And I don't know if my mom would be like, yeah, yeah, you don't want to hurt your mom. Yeah. But we went through a big, really tough time, and with her decisions she made with that man, and I had to get out of there. And there was a lot of times where they were doing fine, but I'd rather live with my dad and struggle in the hood and raise my brothers. And there was always a love there that I was getting. Love was so much more than just this fake picture of what a beautiful house and a beautiful life looks like. I think there was a lot of it, too, in regards to my upbringing in church and seeing the inside and outs of it. A lot of smoke and mirrors to it.

Not that my granddad was ever not who he said he was. There was also some things about it that was so strong, like, this is right and this is wrong. There's no gray areas. And the way he believed everything was right. And if you didn't believe it exactly how he believed it, the way he believed it, then you were just wrong, and you were going to hell.

Right. It wasn't just a disagreement. It was, you're amoral, and you're gonna end up in hell because of this difference.

And if you don't believe it, just like he did, I mean, he was headstrong so much that he wouldn't even go to a restaurant where there was a bar in it. He had a wood shop. He would never take money from the church. As a pastor, he's like, we don't do that. He was working on building houses. He was a carpenter. He had to be exactly what he read jesus was, and sweet man, but if it wasn't this way. I remember one of the first things he said to me. He wanted me to come sing at the church when I really started getting music. And he was like, all these kids out here nowadays, breakdancing and hip hopping and all that for the Lord. And I was like, pop, nobody's broke dancing since my mom was growing up. Dog, we're not breakdancing for the Lord. Also, we're break dancing for the Lord. Let them break dance for the Lord, man. It's not a sin. It's not bad to do rap songs for Jesus. If they want to do that, let them keep.

I mean, the songs will probably be bad, but there's nothing wrong with it.

And my mom was always thinking I was up to something. I knew that came from a place of her just trying to seem like she was perfect, but also she was a pastor's kid. And now that I'm older, I'm like, oh, you were a fucking wild one. And you were thinking I was doing shit that I was not even doing. She was thinking I was into all sorts of drugs at like twelve. And I was like, mom, I don't even know anybody that does that. I haven't even seen anybody doing crack in front of me. What do you think I'm doing? They'll let my window shut. Oh, I know what you did. You snuck out, you jumped down here, you jumped off the roof. I'm like, no, mom, I'm just walking out the front door if I'm going anywhere. I got into boozing way too early. When I was at my mom's, they had a bar downstairs, you know, my stepdad had, and I could just go in there and kind of fill up a water bottle. I had been probably drinking since I was like ten. Just slugging them back on the bus, you know, and being a little hammered at school.

And I'm like, it's 7th grade and.

We'Re like, what comfort did it give you? The only time I was really optimistic in life, Washington, when I had booze in me.

When I think about why I started drinking or why I started smoking cigarettes, it was truly to be cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that was all there was to it. I just wanted to be cool. And I was hanging out with these kids and they were smoking weed and I wanted to smoke weed. And if I could be the one to get the alcohol, then I was the fucking legend and I could get it at any point. No telling what we were drinking. We were just mixing shit up in a water bottle. And like I was bringing it out to the boys and we're walking through the neighborhood like slugging it back. Or hey, mister. And somebody at the gas station like, hey, mister, can you get us a 40? Can you get us a pack of cigarettes?

And there knit community of musicians. And a lot of kids were doing metal from when I got out of high school til even now, you know. And I was still in a metal band called Ayres at the time. And this band called Wild Harp. Me and my buddy Addie Maxwell, who plays guitar for me still and writes a lot with me. So weird, man. I had everything kind of happen to me once. This girl I was with at the time had left me, my car had broken down, my roommates had moved out. I walked like the last 2 miles to my work and the place was closing down. Everything just hit the fan at once and really bad off at the time.What age is this?I must have been 26, 27. This was right before teddy swims really started happening. At the time I was with this girl who had a child and her baby daddy wasn't around. And I was even about to go get this full time job and was trying to like, think I was like, you know what, man? Maybe I just need to raise this kid. He's worth it. And I almost gave it up. And all this shit just hit the fan all at once. And I called my dad and I was like, man, can I move there to your house? And I just really need to place a crash for a couple months. So I put my mattress basically on the floor in his garage and just try to, like, camp out there. And there was no carpet or anything. And my buddy Lee, who had recorded most of my metal bands, was actually in Loganville. He was right down the road from my dad's house. And so we started just kind of messing with stuff. And he got me in this band wildheart, and that started going somewhere. And me and Addie started doing hip hop music because he was making beats for some rappers and sending it out.And we decided to make a hip hop song. And we did one song. And my pal Tyler Carter was in this band issues. He comes over and he's doing a solo tour, and he hears our one song, and he's like, man, this shit's badass, dude. Give me, like, 30 minutes of music and you guys come on tour with me. I'm like, we only have one song. He's like, I'm going to the UK.It's only four minutes long.So he's like, I'm going to the UK with issues, and I'll be back in a month. You have a month to get, like, 30 minutes of music. So me and Addy grinded out a bunch of hip hop songs where we're rapping on these songs.Is the quality going downhill quickly?It's getting better.Oh, it's getting better.Yeah, it's getting better. We're getting better at rapping. Addie's crushing it. I'm okay, but it's not my thing. I'm here to sing, but this is my opportunity to go on tour, so fuck it. We're here. So we get back, we have this thing trying to figure out our name. I was going by swims by that time, and it was just someone who was a me. Play this character of this rapper. Tyler's like, why don't we just put Teddy in front of. Everybody calls you that? And then boom, you're teddy swims. And I was like, dude, I really kind of fucking hate that. And then he's like, well, it's my tour, so I'm putting it on the flyer. So it's Addie Maxwell slims opening up for Tyler Carter.Jton Collins.Yes, sir.Jayton. That's a pretty unique name.Yeah, it is. I've never met another one.Yeah, but you were going by Teddy.Yeah, I've always been called Teddy because I was waiting tables and stuff. Jaden's hard. They're like, Jake, Jamie, Jason. So my look is just always, oh, there's our teddy.Oh, like teddy bear.Yeah. And that's where I just kind of came.Jaden, that's so sweet. Okay.We end up doing this, and this was March of 2019. And then we get back, and the teddy swims thing was kind of cool. Maybe I could do shit as steady swims. And I just used the name Teddy swims and uploaded a Michael Jackson cover of Rock with.You watched it this morning. It's incredible.June 25 of 2019. And that was ten years after he died. And so we wanted to just pay homage, and it started going crazy, and we were like, guys, why don't we just turn this shit into teddy swims? Let's see what happens here. And we kept doing the covers. And most beautiful thing is my manager, Luke, who lives out here, he hopped in a car and drove a Prius with a U Haul on the back of it all the way to Georgia. And we moved in this little house in Snellville. It was a five bedroom house. Me and all my friends, about twelve of us, moved into this place, and we built plyboard walls and built two studios in there. Split rooms into two rooms. I was like, dude, if we get six months, we started making our merch and distributing it out of the garage, filming our own stuff, singing and recording our own stuff, playing and writing our own stuff, doing the covers. I quit. My job was getting floated by my boys, and just six months of this, guys, this will work. And I kid you not. December 24 of 2019, a day less than six months, we get signed on Warner Records, and I get this fucking million dollar deal and put all my buddies on salary.The manifestation of just you and your friends coming together and being like, guys, we can do this if we just all put our heads together.Yeah, it's kind of the full commitment.Moment, and it feels like you're so behind on life. It's always at the 28, 29, 30 mark. You're just like, God, I'm so far behind. And the kids that are coming up too, that are making music like you got Billie Eilish crushing at 16. I'm like, God, what the fuck am I doing here?I'm a decade older than her. What's gonna happen to me? Why pick rock with you? I wanna applaud that. I think off the wall's the best of all those albums.Yeah, I got it hanging on my wall now. Man, rock with you. Weirdly enough, because it was that time we had found the stems of it online. Sometimes producers want to just take something and mix. You know, my producer was just going in and he had found the stems of it and was like, I want to mix this up. Which is really cool. Cause you can hear Rod Temperton. When you get all the stems of the song. You can actually mute a bunch of the stuff. And there's the original mumble track of it, too. And so you hear rob like. And he's just like, kind of doing.The mumble where they wrote it down, guiding them.And it's so cool. It's like they had the instrumental donna. He went and made up the melody with his mumbles. And then they went and wrote the words to the mumbles. Oh, sick.And is that in the finished song?The mumbles aren't. But when you get the stems, you can hear that they kept that in there. It's so crazy. Cause it's similar to a lot of times we do the same thing where you just kinda come up with a mumble of the melody first. And then sometimes you might be almost saying a word and you're like, what are you saying there? Oh, shit. That sounds like you're saying this. And then you come up with some beautiful words. My song, the door, for instance, my buddy just already had the beat and the bumble of it. And we kind of just. Oh, it sounded like you said. Started writing to this.You reverse engineer it kind of.Yeah. And so it was cool to see that happen and see that was still the way that it was done.Yeah.With you got, I don't know, 10 million views or something. Or maybe more. When I looked at it this morning, it had 2 million views. But you're still the one by Shania Twain. Seems like a very. From left field choice.Oh, my God, I need to hear that.And that one has 167 million views.It was monster.Yeah, yeah. That's probably the one that gets Warner records attention.I think the biggest thing is. Cause the original version we did of it, I dedicated it to my mother. And I was like, this goes out to my mom. You know, I love you and the touch people.It's kind of a mystery. Cause rock with you seems more in tune with you. It just doesn't seem like you're gonna sing that. I think there's also some of the mixed messages of looking at you. Singing that song is very interesting.That's the thing that first worked out for me on rock with you is once it hit this 500,000 views, people were looking at my face and my whole thing going on and singing that song, they were like, okay, either this is gonna be funny, or this is gonna be really good.Yes.Or it's gonna be both. And it ended up being, I think, quite funny and actually good. People were like, I did not expect this guy to sing this way. So we kinda leaned into that gimmick so much, and it's been a thing that's really pivotal in my career. Real music videos have never worked for us. Just playing the song really quite works for you. I just find that it's always when somebody says, like, listen to this guy, okay, now look what he looks like. You know, it's always been my thing. And so we just totally fucking lean on, pedal to the metal, on making sure my face is in everything, and while I'm singing. So people were like, whoa, it's a good voice, but I don't think it's as good as the juxtaposition versus what I look like. People are fucking stunned, and it's helped me out so much.That makes sense. Yeah. If you look the part perfectly, it would be a foregone conclusion.Yeah.So there's nothing novel or They came to my show in my meet and greet too, and he had us all dressed up and shit with the tattoos going, and they drew them on. It's so cool, bro, watching kids do that, especially. It's so awesome.Obviously, I have tattoos, but I have no face tattoos. What's the chat in your head as you go in? And you're like, well, we're gonna go all in on this.Well, the first one I got, so it sayss car, and they have all that shit, I just. I don't even listen. It's overly cautious.Well, except not when it counts.Side swiping's not. Yeah, it doesn't have any sensors. Cause think if you opened your door, it would start beeping as the. I don't know. I don't know why it seems like.At this point they should be able to know when you're about to hit a pole.Hit a pole? Yeah. Did it dent it or just scrape it?I think it's just scraped. I honestly haven't look too hard because I'm too stressed.That's a good method. Often if I scratch my wheels, parallel parking, I don't let myself look at it. When I get out of the car, I just carry on with whatever I'm gonna do because if it's in my head when I get to wherever I'm going, it's just gonna ruin my whole thing. And I have succeeded sometimes in forgetting to even look at it. And then weeks later, I'm like, ooh, that rim's fucked up. But now it's like someone else did it.Oh, God.Okay.Yeah, so whatever. That's part of the PM's. And of course, you know, I was like, of course this happened because I don't know how I'm functioning like, I.This is a busy doozy.This is a big one. It is. They're getting worse.They're getting bigger, I think.Cause perimenopause.Nope. I know you read that book, but you're not there yet.Okay.There'll be plenty of time for you to be peri.Perimenopausal.Perimenopausal.I know, but it seems odd that they're getting worse and blood's getting less. But the. But the symptoms are getting worse. Like, it's not.It's not ideal.Anyway. I'll just. You's a very fascinating one.It is. And some people, of course, again, you're right. There's so many nice people on there. There's so many people that are like, no, she's just kidding or whatever. A lot of defense, which is sweet. But then even that. Even when you. This is why you can't take any of it, because, well, first of all, it's a roller coaster. You're like, oh, that's nice.Oh, my God.That's horrible. Like, it's too much. And there was, like, one person who said, no, no, I like that you.Have a voice picked out for her. Yeah.Yeah.You already have a voice picked up.Because it was nice that she said she delivers things weird, but she means well. Okay, that's actually not helpful. Yeah. And then, of course. And I'm like, do I deliver things weird? Like, what is happening now?I will tell you this, okay. You're not interested in my approach to all this, but I'm gonna tell it to you. So, like, when I'm on other people's things, like, I was on Theo Vaughn's podcast. I'm not gonna dare look at those comments. I was on Peter Attias. I'm not gonna dare. Like, I saw his post of our interview, and I'm like, stay away because.People don't love you.Well, because they're there for that host. And then I also. This could be my story. But I also think a lot of people on the right, I think I'm, like, a super far left liberal. And so I'm just immediately, no matter what I say, I'm a libtard perpetuating this terrible. So I just know when an audience, like, if I go on a show where an audience is more right leaning. I just don't even. I would never even glance at that. Cause I just assume couple hundred of those listeners are just gonna. It's a great opportunity. Sound off about the left. In those instances, I do choose to think, well, Theo's got a million listeners, and I bet most of them just liked it because we like each other.Yeah.Yeah. And then there's going to be this handful that negative way. So, yeah, I'm looking at her, and then I thought, what if this person is one of the people who's come up to me and said something nice?Oh, sure.Then I started to get paranoid about all the people who come up and say nice things. I'm like, well, what if they're nice in person? Because people are nice in person.Sure.But then they're.Alter ego.Yeah.Yeah. Kitsch witch.Your sister.Why do they think that's callie's? What's hers?Kitschwage was your sister's cooking thing.Yeah. What's Callie's k?Watch so close.There's a w and a c and.An h and a k. She's private, though, so don't follow her.Okay, well, you could apply. That's how you do it. When someone's private, you apply to be their friend. I've applied to many people's.Me, too.Yeah.I actually think it's fun because then you're accepted. It's harder to. I didn't see bad boys, and I really want to see it before it leaves the movie theater. Any chance you could go to. This was yesterday. And he's said, oh, my God, I can. So we met at americana at 04:00 p.m. it's so fun to go meet him at the movies at 04:00 p.m. also, it's hot as Hades in LA. Everyone needs to know. So I was also like, I want to beat the heat. I love. I get really in the mood to go to the movie theater.You and Kristen love to say, beat the heat.You gotta beat the heat. It's imperative. And so I have so much muscle memory from not having air conditioning and spending my whole day at the AMC seven in Santa Monica to beat the heat. I buy one ticket and then I go right into every single theater without pain.Yeah.So we go there, and clearly other people are there to beat the heat too, because we get in there, and at first, we have the entire movie theater to ourselves, which is so fun. We're so excited to be in there completely by ourselves. And then some older gal wanders in, and, I mean, right away, it doesn't look like she's there for bad boys. It definitely looks like she's there to beat the heat. And then she probably came from another movie that just ended because she came about five minutes.Okay.And then she just sat down in the very first seat that was offered. You know, the first seat coming out of the hallway.Yeah.No one would pick that seat in an empty movie theater.Sure.Okay. There's a lot of clues here.Okay.She sat down, and then within seven or eight minutes, she was out cold. She was beating the heat by going.You'Re taking a nap.Yes. And I'm talking dead asleep. And there was one point where the action got so loud that in her sleep, she covered her ears. And you're not gonna like this, but of course, you took a photo. I started taking pictures, and it's not a good look. For me to do that. But tell me you're not happy I did this. I want you to scroll to the left. Okay. There was a couple times where we thought she passed, as you can see in the photos. This is why this story's not very good, because, of course, I'm not gonna post these pictures, but. Oh, okay. But now, did you find them? Where she's sleeping with her hands over her earth because there's tons of gunfire and explosives going on.I'm so upset that her sleep is getting disrupted.And then the worst was I kept. I had to take every time she changed position.It's so hot.Yes. Thank chatting with the guy. We're like, what's your plan here? Are you allowed to touch her? You're gonna have to touch her. No, he's gonna have to.He's gonna have to get close to ma'am.Yes. He's gonna do all that, and then she's just gonna, in her sleep, cover her ears, and he's gonna have to touch her. And he's, like, 17, you know, he's a teenager.Bet. Where is the best place to touch someone to wake them up?This shoulder. We talked about that.Oh, you did? Okay.Yeah. You're like, you gotta poke. Just. Same way that guy poked me at the gas station. You gotta just give him a poke to the shoulder.Well, that did not go well.No, but I wasn't asleep at the movie theater.I actually. My instinct is the knee. That's too close to the pride.That's the vagina. Yeah, yeah. You're like. You're touching her legs. Shoulders, like the.But shoulder's close to the breast.I think it's the most standard place point of contact with a stranger.But then one of his fingers slips.But you don't feel like someone's about to cut you off. Like, you're walking and there's gonna be a collision, and you've gotta actually, like, touch them. You always grab their shoulders, go for the knees, grab their inner thighs.Yeah. Interesting. Okay.Oh, we loved it. Like, this is the exact type of thing that makes Nate and I so happy, just thinking about this young boy.What a gift for you.Yeah, we had a lot of gifts. We love Dane. Eric Dane. He's so handsome.Friend of the pot. Check him out.Yeah.If you've missed him, I was at the americana two days before that.Seen a movie.I wasn't beating the heat. I was in the , but I didn't earn it. I just have it.Well, I earned mine.Oh, okay. Yours is an accomplishment.Yeah, exactly. Because it is not that it doesn't hurt. It's that I'm unwilling.Right.To say it hurts.Oh, my God. This is. Yeah. Did I tell you this. This great conversation Lincoln and I had on the trip about fear? I told And I thought, all right, I'll give it a shot.Okay.And I did. And I'm gonna go back.You're gonna go back to hair?Yeah, I'm gonna go back to full hair. I kind of like hairy legs.Yeah. I don't like this. No, no, it looks fine. It looks great. But it, it. First of all, I never once noticed that you had hairy legs. Which means you probably didn't well, I.Will say I have a very incongruous hair distribution, which is I have no hair on my chest and none of my likes. I don't have much on my stomach. I'm pretty hairless. Cut to legs. Legs are fully hairy. They're inordinately hairy, especially given how hairless I am everywhere else.All right, well, I'm glad you tried it. It's always good to try things.Fuck it. I don't. You know, I was like, okay, I'll do this. And then when I was doing it, my sister was in and out of the scene.God, your poor sister. I think she has to witness.Yeah. I was doing it on the balcony of my room with Lincoln. So the hair will just blow off into your house, hopefully land in your backyard.All your rats.Yeah.And my sister goes, what's happening here? And I said, oh, well, Lincoln really thinks it was time for me to trim my leg hair. And she said, oh, what a nice father you have. I used to beg Barton to cut his chest hair, and he never would. So I was like, oh, maybe this is a thing. Kids hate how hairy their parents are. It is so gross. If you're young and you're like, why are you so hairy?No, it's just life. God, we're so mean to each other. Ding, ding, ding.Kids in particular, they let it rip.Oh, yeah. I wonder if the person who wrote I was inseparable was actually a kid.Could have been a kid who just wanted you to trim your hair.That's right. Okay. He talked about the 2007 warp tour.Uh huh.And it reminded me that Callie and I went to warp tour.You did?Uh huh. In 2003. I checked with her, the date. I thought maybe that was the one I'd been to in Atlanta. Mm hmm.Was it fun, or were you scared?I think I was a little scared, but we also had fun. Callie was more adventurous. Yeah, I don't know if adventurous is the word.Okay.But, yeah, I guess maybe it's the word.But she was fearless. Is that what we were going for?I guess she wasn't scared.Right. So adventurous.Yeah, but she's not advent. That's not a word I would ever.Use to describe, so it's a confident, mature.I think she was. No, I was mature. No, I think she. She was a little bit more spunky, maybe.Okay, savvy.No, I was very savvy.Okay. She was spunky.I forgot to mention this the other day when we were talking about Noah's birthday party. Strawberry boy. Yeah. Max's dad, Robert. I want to shout out Robert.Oh, interesting.He came up to me and he said, monica, I'm an armchair.No. Oh, my God.So sweet.He must be such a good dad if he's an armchair.He's a very nice person.Oh, wow.Very nice. Shout out Julie. She also listens. That's Max's mom. Okay, while we're at it, I should shout out Callie's dad, Dan. He also listens.Oh, my God.I know all these nice parents. They're really nice. Oh, I think my friend. Okay, I don't. I guess we don't.Jake.I think my friend Christina's translation. Thank you, guys. I really. It is so sweet that people who are in our lives, and especially parents. I don't expect any parents to ever be listening to it.Does it scare you at all?I don't think.You don't think on it too hard.I don't want to think on it too hard, but I do think it's very kind anyway. Okay, I wanted to play.This should get right up to their mouth on the screen.Close your eyes, let the rhythm get into you don't try to fight it there ain't nothing that you can do relax your mind lay back and move with my. You gotta feel that he and we go by the boogey. Share that be the love. I wanna rock with you dance you in today I wanna rock with you all night we're gonna rock the night away.He's so good.He's so good. I admire anyone who tries to dupe Michael Jackson. That's why when I saw it, the board, when they did the Quincy Jones retrospective and they had people singing the Michael Jackson songs, I was blown away at a couple of singers that they actually sounded better, which I thought was impossible. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.He's so good. Okay, I found the exact timestamp of the episode of acquired on Taylor Swift, where they start talking about the music industry.Okay.And I was gonna listen and then recap.But you're gonna play.People should just. No, it's long. It's long, but people should listen to that. Cause they do such a good job of breaking it all down and how little money streams make and how it's all, like, broken down between the songwriter and this and that. It's very complex, but. Okay. So if you go to acquired and you search Taylor Swift, it starts. Cause these episodes are so long.Yeah.They're like 4 hours of them, right?Yeah. It starts at 1 hour, eight minutes and 38 seconds. So I highly recommend that. And then we talk about Max Martin. Max Martin. Speaking of Taylor. Ding ding ding. Why they've worked together.Oh, okay.He's just very well known music producer. Huge Swedish.Oh, so wasn't. So was like, dog or whatever. Shania Twain's husband. He was swedish, too. Or danish or something.Swedish.Yeah. That's interesting. Yes.They have a big. You didn't meet any when you were there any music producers?Maybe that guy who was mad at me at the gas station was a huge music producer. That would explain how, like, he thought things should be going.Was it this guy?Fuck. That was him. No, no, that was not. That man's much younger.Yeah. Max Martin's 53. We should have him on. That would be great. All right, well, that's it.That's all the facts.Yeah. Let me just double check to make sure I got them all. Talked a lot about tattoos.Yeah. I was gonna explain to people what a tattoo is.Yeah.Okay. How it works. I have one interesting fact about tattoos.Okay.This perplexed me for, like, 20 years. Once you learn that your full dermis replaces itself every few years.Yeah.Like, no part of your skin will be here in a few years. So how the fuck does that the tattoo stay? And I asked doctors this question I asked people for, like, 20 years.Okay.And finally someone explained to me that what's happening is that the ink is forever sinking. It just sinks through every new layer of skin to the bone. Well, no, obviously, it doesn't get inside and disappear, but that it just. It sinks as the skin grows up. Isn't that fascinating?I don't really get it.You don't?I mean, I do in some ways.But, like, it's not. Well, one interesting thing about that is, like, it's not fixed. Knowing that it's sinking, it's almost shocking. It doesn't, like, get obscured more.Right.It's, like, not permanent. That's what's interesting. It's on the move. It's like, forever on the move, sinking down into these new cells that are.Growing up, but just through one, each individual. Individual pour, though.Yeah. Or cell, or however the cell works, and it incorporates the sinking ink, I guess.Should I look it up? Just see.Okay, sure. That's one thing I never did do, is search it on the Internet, which is curious.I don't. Tattoos disappear. Okay. This says. Okay, there's. AI says tattoos can be. I hate that. By the way, the way that. Now AI is the first thing you see.Yeah. And you just don't know if it's telling you the truth or not exactly.But I'll read it anyway. Tattoos can be permanent because the body's immune system and the skin's dermis work together to hold onto the ink. When a tattoo needle punctures the skin, the immune system sends macrophage cells to the wound to close it up. The ink is a foreign invader, so the macrophages eat it up and get stuck in the dermis. When the macrophages die, they pass the ink to the next generation of macrophages, and this cycle continues indefinitely.So that's the mechanism by which it's.Sinking, passing onto the new cell.Yeah, just passing through all the new layers that are coming up.This other thing from mad rabbit tattoos says the reason tattoos last permanently is because of their location in the dermis layer of our skin, where the macrophages cells that live there hold onto your tattoo ink and pass it to future generations of cells. Like a microscopic family heirloom.So weird.Yeah. That's cool. I'm glad we talked about it.Me, too. I don't think that's, like, a super common curiosity. It's just permanent. That's that. You hear it's permanent, and you're like, okay, next thing. Next topic.Yeah.How do we beat the heat? You know? Which? We're not doing terribly well in here.I'm telling. It's hot in here. I told you. I told you.I would say that. The ambient temperature in here is probably, like, 83.Yeah, I live like this.Monica, we need to get you to a pool.Still haven't been to a pool.All right, love you. Thanks for having me over. Bye.

knit community of musicians. And a lot of kids were doing metal from when I got out of high school til even now, you know. And I was still in a metal band called Ayres at the time. And this band called Wild Harp. Me and my buddy Addie Maxwell, who plays guitar for me still and writes a lot with me. So weird, man. I had everything kind of happen to me once. This girl I was with at the time had left me, my car had broken down, my roommates had moved out. I walked like the last 2 miles to my work and the place was closing down. Everything just hit the fan at once and really bad off at the time.

What age is this?

I must have been 26, 27. This was right before teddy swims really started happening. At the time I was with this girl who had a child and her baby daddy wasn't around. And I was even about to go get this full time job and was trying to like, think I was like, you know what, man? Maybe I just need to raise this kid. He's worth it. And I almost gave it up. And all this shit just hit the fan all at once. And I called my dad and I was like, man, can I move there to your house? And I just really need to place a crash for a couple months. So I put my mattress basically on the floor in his garage and just try to, like, camp out there. And there was no carpet or anything. And my buddy Lee, who had recorded most of my metal bands, was actually in Loganville. He was right down the road from my dad's house. And so we started just kind of messing with stuff. And he got me in this band wildheart, and that started going somewhere. And me and Addie started doing hip hop music because he was making beats for some rappers and sending it out.

And we decided to make a hip hop song. And we did one song. And my pal Tyler Carter was in this band issues. He comes over and he's doing a solo tour, and he hears our one song, and he's like, man, this shit's badass, dude. Give me, like, 30 minutes of music and you guys come on tour with me. I'm like, we only have one song. He's like, I'm going to the UK.

It's only four minutes long.

So he's like, I'm going to the UK with issues, and I'll be back in a month. You have a month to get, like, 30 minutes of music. So me and Addy grinded out a bunch of hip hop songs where we're rapping on these songs.

Is the quality going downhill quickly?

It's getting better.

Oh, it's getting better.

Yeah, it's getting better. We're getting better at rapping. Addie's crushing it. I'm okay, but it's not my thing. I'm here to sing, but this is my opportunity to go on tour, so fuck it. We're here. So we get back, we have this thing trying to figure out our name. I was going by swims by that time, and it was just someone who was a me. Play this character of this rapper. Tyler's like, why don't we just put Teddy in front of. Everybody calls you that? And then boom, you're teddy swims. And I was like, dude, I really kind of fucking hate that. And then he's like, well, it's my tour, so I'm putting it on the flyer. So it's Addie Maxwell slims opening up for Tyler Carter.

Jton Collins.

Yes, sir.

Jayton. That's a pretty unique name.

Yeah, it is. I've never met another one.

Yeah, but you were going by Teddy.

Yeah, I've always been called Teddy because I was waiting tables and stuff. Jaden's hard. They're like, Jake, Jamie, Jason. So my look is just always, oh, there's our teddy.

Oh, like teddy bear.

Yeah. And that's where I just kind of came.

Jaden, that's so sweet. Okay.

We end up doing this, and this was March of 2019. And then we get back, and the teddy swims thing was kind of cool. Maybe I could do shit as steady swims. And I just used the name Teddy swims and uploaded a Michael Jackson cover of Rock with.

You watched it this morning. It's incredible.

June 25 of 2019. And that was ten years after he died. And so we wanted to just pay homage, and it started going crazy, and we were like, guys, why don't we just turn this shit into teddy swims? Let's see what happens here. And we kept doing the covers. And most beautiful thing is my manager, Luke, who lives out here, he hopped in a car and drove a Prius with a U Haul on the back of it all the way to Georgia. And we moved in this little house in Snellville. It was a five bedroom house. Me and all my friends, about twelve of us, moved into this place, and we built plyboard walls and built two studios in there. Split rooms into two rooms. I was like, dude, if we get six months, we started making our merch and distributing it out of the garage, filming our own stuff, singing and recording our own stuff, playing and writing our own stuff, doing the covers. I quit. My job was getting floated by my boys, and just six months of this, guys, this will work. And I kid you not. December 24 of 2019, a day less than six months, we get signed on Warner Records, and I get this fucking million dollar deal and put all my buddies on salary.

The manifestation of just you and your friends coming together and being like, guys, we can do this if we just all put our heads together.

Yeah, it's kind of the full commitment.

Moment, and it feels like you're so behind on life. It's always at the 28, 29, 30 mark. You're just like, God, I'm so far behind. And the kids that are coming up too, that are making music like you got Billie Eilish crushing at 16. I'm like, God, what the fuck am I doing here?

I'm a decade older than her. What's gonna happen to me? Why pick rock with you? I wanna applaud that. I think off the wall's the best of all those albums.

Yeah, I got it hanging on my wall now. Man, rock with you. Weirdly enough, because it was that time we had found the stems of it online. Sometimes producers want to just take something and mix. You know, my producer was just going in and he had found the stems of it and was like, I want to mix this up. Which is really cool. Cause you can hear Rod Temperton. When you get all the stems of the song. You can actually mute a bunch of the stuff. And there's the original mumble track of it, too. And so you hear rob like. And he's just like, kind of doing.

The mumble where they wrote it down, guiding them.

And it's so cool. It's like they had the instrumental donna. He went and made up the melody with his mumbles. And then they went and wrote the words to the mumbles. Oh, sick.

And is that in the finished song?

The mumbles aren't. But when you get the stems, you can hear that they kept that in there. It's so crazy. Cause it's similar to a lot of times we do the same thing where you just kinda come up with a mumble of the melody first. And then sometimes you might be almost saying a word and you're like, what are you saying there? Oh, shit. That sounds like you're saying this. And then you come up with some beautiful words. My song, the door, for instance, my buddy just already had the beat and the bumble of it. And we kind of just. Oh, it sounded like you said. Started writing to this.

You reverse engineer it kind of.

Yeah. And so it was cool to see that happen and see that was still the way that it was done.

Yeah.

With you got, I don't know, 10 million views or something. Or maybe more. When I looked at it this morning, it had 2 million views. But you're still the one by Shania Twain. Seems like a very. From left field choice.

Oh, my God, I need to hear that.

And that one has 167 million views.

It was monster.

Yeah, yeah. That's probably the one that gets Warner records attention.

I think the biggest thing is. Cause the original version we did of it, I dedicated it to my mother. And I was like, this goes out to my mom. You know, I love you and the touch people.

It's kind of a mystery. Cause rock with you seems more in tune with you. It just doesn't seem like you're gonna sing that. I think there's also some of the mixed messages of looking at you. Singing that song is very interesting.

That's the thing that first worked out for me on rock with you is once it hit this 500,000 views, people were looking at my face and my whole thing going on and singing that song, they were like, okay, either this is gonna be funny, or this is gonna be really good.

Yes.

Or it's gonna be both. And it ended up being, I think, quite funny and actually good. People were like, I did not expect this guy to sing this way. So we kinda leaned into that gimmick so much, and it's been a thing that's really pivotal in my career. Real music videos have never worked for us. Just playing the song really quite works for you. I just find that it's always when somebody says, like, listen to this guy, okay, now look what he looks like. You know, it's always been my thing. And so we just totally fucking lean on, pedal to the metal, on making sure my face is in everything, and while I'm singing. So people were like, whoa, it's a good voice, but I don't think it's as good as the juxtaposition versus what I look like. People are fucking stunned, and it's helped me out so much.

That makes sense. Yeah. If you look the part perfectly, it would be a foregone conclusion.

Yeah.

So there's nothing novel or They came to my show in my meet and greet too, and he had us all dressed up and shit with the tattoos going, and they drew them on. It's so cool, bro, watching kids do that, especially. It's so awesome.Obviously, I have tattoos, but I have no face tattoos. What's the chat in your head as you go in? And you're like, well, we're gonna go all in on this.Well, the first one I got, so it sayss car, and they have all that shit, I just. I don't even listen. It's overly cautious.Well, except not when it counts.Side swiping's not. Yeah, it doesn't have any sensors. Cause think if you opened your door, it would start beeping as the. I don't know. I don't know why it seems like.At this point they should be able to know when you're about to hit a pole.Hit a pole? Yeah. Did it dent it or just scrape it?I think it's just scraped. I honestly haven't look too hard because I'm too stressed.That's a good method. Often if I scratch my wheels, parallel parking, I don't let myself look at it. When I get out of the car, I just carry on with whatever I'm gonna do because if it's in my head when I get to wherever I'm going, it's just gonna ruin my whole thing. And I have succeeded sometimes in forgetting to even look at it. And then weeks later, I'm like, ooh, that rim's fucked up. But now it's like someone else did it.Oh, God.Okay.Yeah, so whatever. That's part of the PM's. And of course, you know, I was like, of course this happened because I don't know how I'm functioning like, I.This is a busy doozy.This is a big one. It is. They're getting worse.They're getting bigger, I think.Cause perimenopause.Nope. I know you read that book, but you're not there yet.Okay.There'll be plenty of time for you to be peri.Perimenopausal.Perimenopausal.I know, but it seems odd that they're getting worse and blood's getting less. But the. But the symptoms are getting worse. Like, it's not.It's not ideal.Anyway. I'll just. You's a very fascinating one.It is. And some people, of course, again, you're right. There's so many nice people on there. There's so many people that are like, no, she's just kidding or whatever. A lot of defense, which is sweet. But then even that. Even when you. This is why you can't take any of it, because, well, first of all, it's a roller coaster. You're like, oh, that's nice.Oh, my God.That's horrible. Like, it's too much. And there was, like, one person who said, no, no, I like that you.Have a voice picked out for her. Yeah.Yeah.You already have a voice picked up.Because it was nice that she said she delivers things weird, but she means well. Okay, that's actually not helpful. Yeah. And then, of course. And I'm like, do I deliver things weird? Like, what is happening now?I will tell you this, okay. You're not interested in my approach to all this, but I'm gonna tell it to you. So, like, when I'm on other people's things, like, I was on Theo Vaughn's podcast. I'm not gonna dare look at those comments. I was on Peter Attias. I'm not gonna dare. Like, I saw his post of our interview, and I'm like, stay away because.People don't love you.Well, because they're there for that host. And then I also. This could be my story. But I also think a lot of people on the right, I think I'm, like, a super far left liberal. And so I'm just immediately, no matter what I say, I'm a libtard perpetuating this terrible. So I just know when an audience, like, if I go on a show where an audience is more right leaning. I just don't even. I would never even glance at that. Cause I just assume couple hundred of those listeners are just gonna. It's a great opportunity. Sound off about the left. In those instances, I do choose to think, well, Theo's got a million listeners, and I bet most of them just liked it because we like each other.Yeah.Yeah. And then there's going to be this handful that negative way. So, yeah, I'm looking at her, and then I thought, what if this person is one of the people who's come up to me and said something nice?Oh, sure.Then I started to get paranoid about all the people who come up and say nice things. I'm like, well, what if they're nice in person? Because people are nice in person.Sure.But then they're.Alter ego.Yeah.Yeah. Kitsch witch.Your sister.Why do they think that's callie's? What's hers?Kitschwage was your sister's cooking thing.Yeah. What's Callie's k?Watch so close.There's a w and a c and.An h and a k. She's private, though, so don't follow her.Okay, well, you could apply. That's how you do it. When someone's private, you apply to be their friend. I've applied to many people's.Me, too.Yeah.I actually think it's fun because then you're accepted. It's harder to. I didn't see bad boys, and I really want to see it before it leaves the movie theater. Any chance you could go to. This was yesterday. And he's said, oh, my God, I can. So we met at americana at 04:00 p.m. it's so fun to go meet him at the movies at 04:00 p.m. also, it's hot as Hades in LA. Everyone needs to know. So I was also like, I want to beat the heat. I love. I get really in the mood to go to the movie theater.You and Kristen love to say, beat the heat.You gotta beat the heat. It's imperative. And so I have so much muscle memory from not having air conditioning and spending my whole day at the AMC seven in Santa Monica to beat the heat. I buy one ticket and then I go right into every single theater without pain.Yeah.So we go there, and clearly other people are there to beat the heat too, because we get in there, and at first, we have the entire movie theater to ourselves, which is so fun. We're so excited to be in there completely by ourselves. And then some older gal wanders in, and, I mean, right away, it doesn't look like she's there for bad boys. It definitely looks like she's there to beat the heat. And then she probably came from another movie that just ended because she came about five minutes.Okay.And then she just sat down in the very first seat that was offered. You know, the first seat coming out of the hallway.Yeah.No one would pick that seat in an empty movie theater.Sure.Okay. There's a lot of clues here.Okay.She sat down, and then within seven or eight minutes, she was out cold. She was beating the heat by going.You'Re taking a nap.Yes. And I'm talking dead asleep. And there was one point where the action got so loud that in her sleep, she covered her ears. And you're not gonna like this, but of course, you took a photo. I started taking pictures, and it's not a good look. For me to do that. But tell me you're not happy I did this. I want you to scroll to the left. Okay. There was a couple times where we thought she passed, as you can see in the photos. This is why this story's not very good, because, of course, I'm not gonna post these pictures, but. Oh, okay. But now, did you find them? Where she's sleeping with her hands over her earth because there's tons of gunfire and explosives going on.I'm so upset that her sleep is getting disrupted.And then the worst was I kept. I had to take every time she changed position.It's so hot.Yes. Thank chatting with the guy. We're like, what's your plan here? Are you allowed to touch her? You're gonna have to touch her. No, he's gonna have to.He's gonna have to get close to ma'am.Yes. He's gonna do all that, and then she's just gonna, in her sleep, cover her ears, and he's gonna have to touch her. And he's, like, 17, you know, he's a teenager.Bet. Where is the best place to touch someone to wake them up?This shoulder. We talked about that.Oh, you did? Okay.Yeah. You're like, you gotta poke. Just. Same way that guy poked me at the gas station. You gotta just give him a poke to the shoulder.Well, that did not go well.No, but I wasn't asleep at the movie theater.I actually. My instinct is the knee. That's too close to the pride.That's the vagina. Yeah, yeah. You're like. You're touching her legs. Shoulders, like the.But shoulder's close to the breast.I think it's the most standard place point of contact with a stranger.But then one of his fingers slips.But you don't feel like someone's about to cut you off. Like, you're walking and there's gonna be a collision, and you've gotta actually, like, touch them. You always grab their shoulders, go for the knees, grab their inner thighs.Yeah. Interesting. Okay.Oh, we loved it. Like, this is the exact type of thing that makes Nate and I so happy, just thinking about this young boy.What a gift for you.Yeah, we had a lot of gifts. We love Dane. Eric Dane. He's so handsome.Friend of the pot. Check him out.Yeah.If you've missed him, I was at the americana two days before that.Seen a movie.I wasn't beating the heat. I was in the , but I didn't earn it. I just have it.Well, I earned mine.Oh, okay. Yours is an accomplishment.Yeah, exactly. Because it is not that it doesn't hurt. It's that I'm unwilling.Right.To say it hurts.Oh, my God. This is. Yeah. Did I tell you this. This great conversation Lincoln and I had on the trip about fear? I told And I thought, all right, I'll give it a shot.Okay.And I did. And I'm gonna go back.You're gonna go back to hair?Yeah, I'm gonna go back to full hair. I kind of like hairy legs.Yeah. I don't like this. No, no, it looks fine. It looks great. But it, it. First of all, I never once noticed that you had hairy legs. Which means you probably didn't well, I.Will say I have a very incongruous hair distribution, which is I have no hair on my chest and none of my likes. I don't have much on my stomach. I'm pretty hairless. Cut to legs. Legs are fully hairy. They're inordinately hairy, especially given how hairless I am everywhere else.All right, well, I'm glad you tried it. It's always good to try things.Fuck it. I don't. You know, I was like, okay, I'll do this. And then when I was doing it, my sister was in and out of the scene.God, your poor sister. I think she has to witness.Yeah. I was doing it on the balcony of my room with Lincoln. So the hair will just blow off into your house, hopefully land in your backyard.All your rats.Yeah.And my sister goes, what's happening here? And I said, oh, well, Lincoln really thinks it was time for me to trim my leg hair. And she said, oh, what a nice father you have. I used to beg Barton to cut his chest hair, and he never would. So I was like, oh, maybe this is a thing. Kids hate how hairy their parents are. It is so gross. If you're young and you're like, why are you so hairy?No, it's just life. God, we're so mean to each other. Ding, ding, ding.Kids in particular, they let it rip.Oh, yeah. I wonder if the person who wrote I was inseparable was actually a kid.Could have been a kid who just wanted you to trim your hair.That's right. Okay. He talked about the 2007 warp tour.Uh huh.And it reminded me that Callie and I went to warp tour.You did?Uh huh. In 2003. I checked with her, the date. I thought maybe that was the one I'd been to in Atlanta. Mm hmm.Was it fun, or were you scared?I think I was a little scared, but we also had fun. Callie was more adventurous. Yeah, I don't know if adventurous is the word.Okay.But, yeah, I guess maybe it's the word.But she was fearless. Is that what we were going for?I guess she wasn't scared.Right. So adventurous.Yeah, but she's not advent. That's not a word I would ever.Use to describe, so it's a confident, mature.I think she was. No, I was mature. No, I think she. She was a little bit more spunky, maybe.Okay, savvy.No, I was very savvy.Okay. She was spunky.I forgot to mention this the other day when we were talking about Noah's birthday party. Strawberry boy. Yeah. Max's dad, Robert. I want to shout out Robert.Oh, interesting.He came up to me and he said, monica, I'm an armchair.No. Oh, my God.So sweet.He must be such a good dad if he's an armchair.He's a very nice person.Oh, wow.Very nice. Shout out Julie. She also listens. That's Max's mom. Okay, while we're at it, I should shout out Callie's dad, Dan. He also listens.Oh, my God.I know all these nice parents. They're really nice. Oh, I think my friend. Okay, I don't. I guess we don't.Jake.I think my friend Christina's translation. Thank you, guys. I really. It is so sweet that people who are in our lives, and especially parents. I don't expect any parents to ever be listening to it.Does it scare you at all?I don't think.You don't think on it too hard.I don't want to think on it too hard, but I do think it's very kind anyway. Okay, I wanted to play.This should get right up to their mouth on the screen.Close your eyes, let the rhythm get into you don't try to fight it there ain't nothing that you can do relax your mind lay back and move with my. You gotta feel that he and we go by the boogey. Share that be the love. I wanna rock with you dance you in today I wanna rock with you all night we're gonna rock the night away.He's so good.He's so good. I admire anyone who tries to dupe Michael Jackson. That's why when I saw it, the board, when they did the Quincy Jones retrospective and they had people singing the Michael Jackson songs, I was blown away at a couple of singers that they actually sounded better, which I thought was impossible. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.He's so good. Okay, I found the exact timestamp of the episode of acquired on Taylor Swift, where they start talking about the music industry.Okay.And I was gonna listen and then recap.But you're gonna play.People should just. No, it's long. It's long, but people should listen to that. Cause they do such a good job of breaking it all down and how little money streams make and how it's all, like, broken down between the songwriter and this and that. It's very complex, but. Okay. So if you go to acquired and you search Taylor Swift, it starts. Cause these episodes are so long.Yeah.They're like 4 hours of them, right?Yeah. It starts at 1 hour, eight minutes and 38 seconds. So I highly recommend that. And then we talk about Max Martin. Max Martin. Speaking of Taylor. Ding ding ding. Why they've worked together.Oh, okay.He's just very well known music producer. Huge Swedish.Oh, so wasn't. So was like, dog or whatever. Shania Twain's husband. He was swedish, too. Or danish or something.Swedish.Yeah. That's interesting. Yes.They have a big. You didn't meet any when you were there any music producers?Maybe that guy who was mad at me at the gas station was a huge music producer. That would explain how, like, he thought things should be going.Was it this guy?Fuck. That was him. No, no, that was not. That man's much younger.Yeah. Max Martin's 53. We should have him on. That would be great. All right, well, that's it.That's all the facts.Yeah. Let me just double check to make sure I got them all. Talked a lot about tattoos.Yeah. I was gonna explain to people what a tattoo is.Yeah.Okay. How it works. I have one interesting fact about tattoos.Okay.This perplexed me for, like, 20 years. Once you learn that your full dermis replaces itself every few years.Yeah.Like, no part of your skin will be here in a few years. So how the fuck does that the tattoo stay? And I asked doctors this question I asked people for, like, 20 years.Okay.And finally someone explained to me that what's happening is that the ink is forever sinking. It just sinks through every new layer of skin to the bone. Well, no, obviously, it doesn't get inside and disappear, but that it just. It sinks as the skin grows up. Isn't that fascinating?I don't really get it.You don't?I mean, I do in some ways.But, like, it's not. Well, one interesting thing about that is, like, it's not fixed. Knowing that it's sinking, it's almost shocking. It doesn't, like, get obscured more.Right.It's, like, not permanent. That's what's interesting. It's on the move. It's like, forever on the move, sinking down into these new cells that are.Growing up, but just through one, each individual. Individual pour, though.Yeah. Or cell, or however the cell works, and it incorporates the sinking ink, I guess.Should I look it up? Just see.Okay, sure. That's one thing I never did do, is search it on the Internet, which is curious.I don't. Tattoos disappear. Okay. This says. Okay, there's. AI says tattoos can be. I hate that. By the way, the way that. Now AI is the first thing you see.Yeah. And you just don't know if it's telling you the truth or not exactly.But I'll read it anyway. Tattoos can be permanent because the body's immune system and the skin's dermis work together to hold onto the ink. When a tattoo needle punctures the skin, the immune system sends macrophage cells to the wound to close it up. The ink is a foreign invader, so the macrophages eat it up and get stuck in the dermis. When the macrophages die, they pass the ink to the next generation of macrophages, and this cycle continues indefinitely.So that's the mechanism by which it's.Sinking, passing onto the new cell.Yeah, just passing through all the new layers that are coming up.This other thing from mad rabbit tattoos says the reason tattoos last permanently is because of their location in the dermis layer of our skin, where the macrophages cells that live there hold onto your tattoo ink and pass it to future generations of cells. Like a microscopic family heirloom.So weird.Yeah. That's cool. I'm glad we talked about it.Me, too. I don't think that's, like, a super common curiosity. It's just permanent. That's that. You hear it's permanent, and you're like, okay, next thing. Next topic.Yeah.How do we beat the heat? You know? Which? We're not doing terribly well in here.I'm telling. It's hot in here. I told you. I told you.I would say that. The ambient temperature in here is probably, like, 83.Yeah, I live like this.Monica, we need to get you to a pool.Still haven't been to a pool.All right, love you. Thanks for having me over. Bye.

They came to my show in my meet and greet too, and he had us all dressed up and shit with the tattoos going, and they drew them on. It's so cool, bro, watching kids do that, especially. It's so awesome.

Obviously, I have tattoos, but I have no face tattoos. What's the chat in your head as you go in? And you're like, well, we're gonna go all in on this.

Well, the first one I got, so it sayss car, and they have all that shit, I just. I don't even listen. It's overly cautious.Well, except not when it counts.Side swiping's not. Yeah, it doesn't have any sensors. Cause think if you opened your door, it would start beeping as the. I don't know. I don't know why it seems like.At this point they should be able to know when you're about to hit a pole.Hit a pole? Yeah. Did it dent it or just scrape it?I think it's just scraped. I honestly haven't look too hard because I'm too stressed.That's a good method. Often if I scratch my wheels, parallel parking, I don't let myself look at it. When I get out of the car, I just carry on with whatever I'm gonna do because if it's in my head when I get to wherever I'm going, it's just gonna ruin my whole thing. And I have succeeded sometimes in forgetting to even look at it. And then weeks later, I'm like, ooh, that rim's fucked up. But now it's like someone else did it.Oh, God.Okay.Yeah, so whatever. That's part of the PM's. And of course, you know, I was like, of course this happened because I don't know how I'm functioning like, I.This is a busy doozy.This is a big one. It is. They're getting worse.They're getting bigger, I think.Cause perimenopause.Nope. I know you read that book, but you're not there yet.Okay.There'll be plenty of time for you to be peri.Perimenopausal.Perimenopausal.I know, but it seems odd that they're getting worse and blood's getting less. But the. But the symptoms are getting worse. Like, it's not.It's not ideal.Anyway. I'll just. You's a very fascinating one.It is. And some people, of course, again, you're right. There's so many nice people on there. There's so many people that are like, no, she's just kidding or whatever. A lot of defense, which is sweet. But then even that. Even when you. This is why you can't take any of it, because, well, first of all, it's a roller coaster. You're like, oh, that's nice.Oh, my God.That's horrible. Like, it's too much. And there was, like, one person who said, no, no, I like that you.Have a voice picked out for her. Yeah.Yeah.You already have a voice picked up.Because it was nice that she said she delivers things weird, but she means well. Okay, that's actually not helpful. Yeah. And then, of course. And I'm like, do I deliver things weird? Like, what is happening now?I will tell you this, okay. You're not interested in my approach to all this, but I'm gonna tell it to you. So, like, when I'm on other people's things, like, I was on Theo Vaughn's podcast. I'm not gonna dare look at those comments. I was on Peter Attias. I'm not gonna dare. Like, I saw his post of our interview, and I'm like, stay away because.People don't love you.Well, because they're there for that host. And then I also. This could be my story. But I also think a lot of people on the right, I think I'm, like, a super far left liberal. And so I'm just immediately, no matter what I say, I'm a libtard perpetuating this terrible. So I just know when an audience, like, if I go on a show where an audience is more right leaning. I just don't even. I would never even glance at that. Cause I just assume couple hundred of those listeners are just gonna. It's a great opportunity. Sound off about the left. In those instances, I do choose to think, well, Theo's got a million listeners, and I bet most of them just liked it because we like each other.Yeah.Yeah. And then there's going to be this handful that negative way. So, yeah, I'm looking at her, and then I thought, what if this person is one of the people who's come up to me and said something nice?Oh, sure.Then I started to get paranoid about all the people who come up and say nice things. I'm like, well, what if they're nice in person? Because people are nice in person.Sure.But then they're.Alter ego.Yeah.Yeah. Kitsch witch.Your sister.Why do they think that's callie's? What's hers?Kitschwage was your sister's cooking thing.Yeah. What's Callie's k?Watch so close.There's a w and a c and.An h and a k. She's private, though, so don't follow her.Okay, well, you could apply. That's how you do it. When someone's private, you apply to be their friend. I've applied to many people's.Me, too.Yeah.I actually think it's fun because then you're accepted. It's harder to. I didn't see bad boys, and I really want to see it before it leaves the movie theater. Any chance you could go to. This was yesterday. And he's said, oh, my God, I can. So we met at americana at 04:00 p.m. it's so fun to go meet him at the movies at 04:00 p.m. also, it's hot as Hades in LA. Everyone needs to know. So I was also like, I want to beat the heat. I love. I get really in the mood to go to the movie theater.You and Kristen love to say, beat the heat.You gotta beat the heat. It's imperative. And so I have so much muscle memory from not having air conditioning and spending my whole day at the AMC seven in Santa Monica to beat the heat. I buy one ticket and then I go right into every single theater without pain.Yeah.So we go there, and clearly other people are there to beat the heat too, because we get in there, and at first, we have the entire movie theater to ourselves, which is so fun. We're so excited to be in there completely by ourselves. And then some older gal wanders in, and, I mean, right away, it doesn't look like she's there for bad boys. It definitely looks like she's there to beat the heat. And then she probably came from another movie that just ended because she came about five minutes.Okay.And then she just sat down in the very first seat that was offered. You know, the first seat coming out of the hallway.Yeah.No one would pick that seat in an empty movie theater.Sure.Okay. There's a lot of clues here.Okay.She sat down, and then within seven or eight minutes, she was out cold. She was beating the heat by going.You'Re taking a nap.Yes. And I'm talking dead asleep. And there was one point where the action got so loud that in her sleep, she covered her ears. And you're not gonna like this, but of course, you took a photo. I started taking pictures, and it's not a good look. For me to do that. But tell me you're not happy I did this. I want you to scroll to the left. Okay. There was a couple times where we thought she passed, as you can see in the photos. This is why this story's not very good, because, of course, I'm not gonna post these pictures, but. Oh, okay. But now, did you find them? Where she's sleeping with her hands over her earth because there's tons of gunfire and explosives going on.I'm so upset that her sleep is getting disrupted.And then the worst was I kept. I had to take every time she changed position.It's so hot.Yes. Thank chatting with the guy. We're like, what's your plan here? Are you allowed to touch her? You're gonna have to touch her. No, he's gonna have to.He's gonna have to get close to ma'am.Yes. He's gonna do all that, and then she's just gonna, in her sleep, cover her ears, and he's gonna have to touch her. And he's, like, 17, you know, he's a teenager.Bet. Where is the best place to touch someone to wake them up?This shoulder. We talked about that.Oh, you did? Okay.Yeah. You're like, you gotta poke. Just. Same way that guy poked me at the gas station. You gotta just give him a poke to the shoulder.Well, that did not go well.No, but I wasn't asleep at the movie theater.I actually. My instinct is the knee. That's too close to the pride.That's the vagina. Yeah, yeah. You're like. You're touching her legs. Shoulders, like the.But shoulder's close to the breast.I think it's the most standard place point of contact with a stranger.But then one of his fingers slips.But you don't feel like someone's about to cut you off. Like, you're walking and there's gonna be a collision, and you've gotta actually, like, touch them. You always grab their shoulders, go for the knees, grab their inner thighs.Yeah. Interesting. Okay.Oh, we loved it. Like, this is the exact type of thing that makes Nate and I so happy, just thinking about this young boy.What a gift for you.Yeah, we had a lot of gifts. We love Dane. Eric Dane. He's so handsome.Friend of the pot. Check him out.Yeah.If you've missed him, I was at the americana two days before that.Seen a movie.I wasn't beating the heat. I was in the , but I didn't earn it. I just have it.Well, I earned mine.Oh, okay. Yours is an accomplishment.Yeah, exactly. Because it is not that it doesn't hurt. It's that I'm unwilling.Right.To say it hurts.Oh, my God. This is. Yeah. Did I tell you this. This great conversation Lincoln and I had on the trip about fear? I told And I thought, all right, I'll give it a shot.Okay.And I did. And I'm gonna go back.You're gonna go back to hair?Yeah, I'm gonna go back to full hair. I kind of like hairy legs.Yeah. I don't like this. No, no, it looks fine. It looks great. But it, it. First of all, I never once noticed that you had hairy legs. Which means you probably didn't well, I.Will say I have a very incongruous hair distribution, which is I have no hair on my chest and none of my likes. I don't have much on my stomach. I'm pretty hairless. Cut to legs. Legs are fully hairy. They're inordinately hairy, especially given how hairless I am everywhere else.All right, well, I'm glad you tried it. It's always good to try things.Fuck it. I don't. You know, I was like, okay, I'll do this. And then when I was doing it, my sister was in and out of the scene.God, your poor sister. I think she has to witness.Yeah. I was doing it on the balcony of my room with Lincoln. So the hair will just blow off into your house, hopefully land in your backyard.All your rats.Yeah.And my sister goes, what's happening here? And I said, oh, well, Lincoln really thinks it was time for me to trim my leg hair. And she said, oh, what a nice father you have. I used to beg Barton to cut his chest hair, and he never would. So I was like, oh, maybe this is a thing. Kids hate how hairy their parents are. It is so gross. If you're young and you're like, why are you so hairy?No, it's just life. God, we're so mean to each other. Ding, ding, ding.Kids in particular, they let it rip.Oh, yeah. I wonder if the person who wrote I was inseparable was actually a kid.Could have been a kid who just wanted you to trim your hair.That's right. Okay. He talked about the 2007 warp tour.Uh huh.And it reminded me that Callie and I went to warp tour.You did?Uh huh. In 2003. I checked with her, the date. I thought maybe that was the one I'd been to in Atlanta. Mm hmm.Was it fun, or were you scared?I think I was a little scared, but we also had fun. Callie was more adventurous. Yeah, I don't know if adventurous is the word.Okay.But, yeah, I guess maybe it's the word.But she was fearless. Is that what we were going for?I guess she wasn't scared.Right. So adventurous.Yeah, but she's not advent. That's not a word I would ever.Use to describe, so it's a confident, mature.I think she was. No, I was mature. No, I think she. She was a little bit more spunky, maybe.Okay, savvy.No, I was very savvy.Okay. She was spunky.I forgot to mention this the other day when we were talking about Noah's birthday party. Strawberry boy. Yeah. Max's dad, Robert. I want to shout out Robert.Oh, interesting.He came up to me and he said, monica, I'm an armchair.No. Oh, my God.So sweet.He must be such a good dad if he's an armchair.He's a very nice person.Oh, wow.Very nice. Shout out Julie. She also listens. That's Max's mom. Okay, while we're at it, I should shout out Callie's dad, Dan. He also listens.Oh, my God.I know all these nice parents. They're really nice. Oh, I think my friend. Okay, I don't. I guess we don't.Jake.I think my friend Christina's translation. Thank you, guys. I really. It is so sweet that people who are in our lives, and especially parents. I don't expect any parents to ever be listening to it.Does it scare you at all?I don't think.You don't think on it too hard.I don't want to think on it too hard, but I do think it's very kind anyway. Okay, I wanted to play.This should get right up to their mouth on the screen.Close your eyes, let the rhythm get into you don't try to fight it there ain't nothing that you can do relax your mind lay back and move with my. You gotta feel that he and we go by the boogey. Share that be the love. I wanna rock with you dance you in today I wanna rock with you all night we're gonna rock the night away.He's so good.He's so good. I admire anyone who tries to dupe Michael Jackson. That's why when I saw it, the board, when they did the Quincy Jones retrospective and they had people singing the Michael Jackson songs, I was blown away at a couple of singers that they actually sounded better, which I thought was impossible. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.He's so good. Okay, I found the exact timestamp of the episode of acquired on Taylor Swift, where they start talking about the music industry.Okay.And I was gonna listen and then recap.But you're gonna play.People should just. No, it's long. It's long, but people should listen to that. Cause they do such a good job of breaking it all down and how little money streams make and how it's all, like, broken down between the songwriter and this and that. It's very complex, but. Okay. So if you go to acquired and you search Taylor Swift, it starts. Cause these episodes are so long.Yeah.They're like 4 hours of them, right?Yeah. It starts at 1 hour, eight minutes and 38 seconds. So I highly recommend that. And then we talk about Max Martin. Max Martin. Speaking of Taylor. Ding ding ding. Why they've worked together.Oh, okay.He's just very well known music producer. Huge Swedish.Oh, so wasn't. So was like, dog or whatever. Shania Twain's husband. He was swedish, too. Or danish or something.Swedish.Yeah. That's interesting. Yes.They have a big. You didn't meet any when you were there any music producers?Maybe that guy who was mad at me at the gas station was a huge music producer. That would explain how, like, he thought things should be going.Was it this guy?Fuck. That was him. No, no, that was not. That man's much younger.Yeah. Max Martin's 53. We should have him on. That would be great. All right, well, that's it.That's all the facts.Yeah. Let me just double check to make sure I got them all. Talked a lot about tattoos.Yeah. I was gonna explain to people what a tattoo is.Yeah.Okay. How it works. I have one interesting fact about tattoos.Okay.This perplexed me for, like, 20 years. Once you learn that your full dermis replaces itself every few years.Yeah.Like, no part of your skin will be here in a few years. So how the fuck does that the tattoo stay? And I asked doctors this question I asked people for, like, 20 years.Okay.And finally someone explained to me that what's happening is that the ink is forever sinking. It just sinks through every new layer of skin to the bone. Well, no, obviously, it doesn't get inside and disappear, but that it just. It sinks as the skin grows up. Isn't that fascinating?I don't really get it.You don't?I mean, I do in some ways.But, like, it's not. Well, one interesting thing about that is, like, it's not fixed. Knowing that it's sinking, it's almost shocking. It doesn't, like, get obscured more.Right.It's, like, not permanent. That's what's interesting. It's on the move. It's like, forever on the move, sinking down into these new cells that are.Growing up, but just through one, each individual. Individual pour, though.Yeah. Or cell, or however the cell works, and it incorporates the sinking ink, I guess.Should I look it up? Just see.Okay, sure. That's one thing I never did do, is search it on the Internet, which is curious.I don't. Tattoos disappear. Okay. This says. Okay, there's. AI says tattoos can be. I hate that. By the way, the way that. Now AI is the first thing you see.Yeah. And you just don't know if it's telling you the truth or not exactly.But I'll read it anyway. Tattoos can be permanent because the body's immune system and the skin's dermis work together to hold onto the ink. When a tattoo needle punctures the skin, the immune system sends macrophage cells to the wound to close it up. The ink is a foreign invader, so the macrophages eat it up and get stuck in the dermis. When the macrophages die, they pass the ink to the next generation of macrophages, and this cycle continues indefinitely.So that's the mechanism by which it's.Sinking, passing onto the new cell.Yeah, just passing through all the new layers that are coming up.This other thing from mad rabbit tattoos says the reason tattoos last permanently is because of their location in the dermis layer of our skin, where the macrophages cells that live there hold onto your tattoo ink and pass it to future generations of cells. Like a microscopic family heirloom.So weird.Yeah. That's cool. I'm glad we talked about it.Me, too. I don't think that's, like, a super common curiosity. It's just permanent. That's that. You hear it's permanent, and you're like, okay, next thing. Next topic.Yeah.How do we beat the heat? You know? Which? We're not doing terribly well in here.I'm telling. It's hot in here. I told you. I told you.I would say that. The ambient temperature in here is probably, like, 83.Yeah, I live like this.Monica, we need to get you to a pool.Still haven't been to a pool.All right, love you. Thanks for having me over. Bye.

s car, and they have all that shit, I just. I don't even listen. It's overly cautious.

Well, except not when it counts.

Side swiping's not. Yeah, it doesn't have any sensors. Cause think if you opened your door, it would start beeping as the. I don't know. I don't know why it seems like.

At this point they should be able to know when you're about to hit a pole.

Hit a pole? Yeah. Did it dent it or just scrape it?

I think it's just scraped. I honestly haven't look too hard because I'm too stressed.

That's a good method. Often if I scratch my wheels, parallel parking, I don't let myself look at it. When I get out of the car, I just carry on with whatever I'm gonna do because if it's in my head when I get to wherever I'm going, it's just gonna ruin my whole thing. And I have succeeded sometimes in forgetting to even look at it. And then weeks later, I'm like, ooh, that rim's fucked up. But now it's like someone else did it.

Oh, God.

Okay.

Yeah, so whatever. That's part of the PM's. And of course, you know, I was like, of course this happened because I don't know how I'm functioning like, I.

This is a busy doozy.

This is a big one. It is. They're getting worse.

They're getting bigger, I think.

Cause perimenopause.

Nope. I know you read that book, but you're not there yet.

Okay.

There'll be plenty of time for you to be peri.

Perimenopausal.

Perimenopausal.

I know, but it seems odd that they're getting worse and blood's getting less. But the. But the symptoms are getting worse. Like, it's not.

It's not ideal.

Anyway. I'll just. You's a very fascinating one.It is. And some people, of course, again, you're right. There's so many nice people on there. There's so many people that are like, no, she's just kidding or whatever. A lot of defense, which is sweet. But then even that. Even when you. This is why you can't take any of it, because, well, first of all, it's a roller coaster. You're like, oh, that's nice.Oh, my God.That's horrible. Like, it's too much. And there was, like, one person who said, no, no, I like that you.Have a voice picked out for her. Yeah.Yeah.You already have a voice picked up.Because it was nice that she said she delivers things weird, but she means well. Okay, that's actually not helpful. Yeah. And then, of course. And I'm like, do I deliver things weird? Like, what is happening now?I will tell you this, okay. You're not interested in my approach to all this, but I'm gonna tell it to you. So, like, when I'm on other people's things, like, I was on Theo Vaughn's podcast. I'm not gonna dare look at those comments. I was on Peter Attias. I'm not gonna dare. Like, I saw his post of our interview, and I'm like, stay away because.People don't love you.Well, because they're there for that host. And then I also. This could be my story. But I also think a lot of people on the right, I think I'm, like, a super far left liberal. And so I'm just immediately, no matter what I say, I'm a libtard perpetuating this terrible. So I just know when an audience, like, if I go on a show where an audience is more right leaning. I just don't even. I would never even glance at that. Cause I just assume couple hundred of those listeners are just gonna. It's a great opportunity. Sound off about the left. In those instances, I do choose to think, well, Theo's got a million listeners, and I bet most of them just liked it because we like each other.Yeah.Yeah. And then there's going to be this handful that negative way. So, yeah, I'm looking at her, and then I thought, what if this person is one of the people who's come up to me and said something nice?Oh, sure.Then I started to get paranoid about all the people who come up and say nice things. I'm like, well, what if they're nice in person? Because people are nice in person.Sure.But then they're.Alter ego.Yeah.Yeah. Kitsch witch.Your sister.Why do they think that's callie's? What's hers?Kitschwage was your sister's cooking thing.Yeah. What's Callie's k?Watch so close.There's a w and a c and.An h and a k. She's private, though, so don't follow her.Okay, well, you could apply. That's how you do it. When someone's private, you apply to be their friend. I've applied to many people's.Me, too.Yeah.I actually think it's fun because then you're accepted. It's harder to. I didn't see bad boys, and I really want to see it before it leaves the movie theater. Any chance you could go to. This was yesterday. And he's said, oh, my God, I can. So we met at americana at 04:00 p.m. it's so fun to go meet him at the movies at 04:00 p.m. also, it's hot as Hades in LA. Everyone needs to know. So I was also like, I want to beat the heat. I love. I get really in the mood to go to the movie theater.You and Kristen love to say, beat the heat.You gotta beat the heat. It's imperative. And so I have so much muscle memory from not having air conditioning and spending my whole day at the AMC seven in Santa Monica to beat the heat. I buy one ticket and then I go right into every single theater without pain.Yeah.So we go there, and clearly other people are there to beat the heat too, because we get in there, and at first, we have the entire movie theater to ourselves, which is so fun. We're so excited to be in there completely by ourselves. And then some older gal wanders in, and, I mean, right away, it doesn't look like she's there for bad boys. It definitely looks like she's there to beat the heat. And then she probably came from another movie that just ended because she came about five minutes.Okay.And then she just sat down in the very first seat that was offered. You know, the first seat coming out of the hallway.Yeah.No one would pick that seat in an empty movie theater.Sure.Okay. There's a lot of clues here.Okay.She sat down, and then within seven or eight minutes, she was out cold. She was beating the heat by going.You'Re taking a nap.Yes. And I'm talking dead asleep. And there was one point where the action got so loud that in her sleep, she covered her ears. And you're not gonna like this, but of course, you took a photo. I started taking pictures, and it's not a good look. For me to do that. But tell me you're not happy I did this. I want you to scroll to the left. Okay. There was a couple times where we thought she passed, as you can see in the photos. This is why this story's not very good, because, of course, I'm not gonna post these pictures, but. Oh, okay. But now, did you find them? Where she's sleeping with her hands over her earth because there's tons of gunfire and explosives going on.I'm so upset that her sleep is getting disrupted.And then the worst was I kept. I had to take every time she changed position.It's so hot.Yes. Thank chatting with the guy. We're like, what's your plan here? Are you allowed to touch her? You're gonna have to touch her. No, he's gonna have to.He's gonna have to get close to ma'am.Yes. He's gonna do all that, and then she's just gonna, in her sleep, cover her ears, and he's gonna have to touch her. And he's, like, 17, you know, he's a teenager.Bet. Where is the best place to touch someone to wake them up?This shoulder. We talked about that.Oh, you did? Okay.Yeah. You're like, you gotta poke. Just. Same way that guy poked me at the gas station. You gotta just give him a poke to the shoulder.Well, that did not go well.No, but I wasn't asleep at the movie theater.I actually. My instinct is the knee. That's too close to the pride.That's the vagina. Yeah, yeah. You're like. You're touching her legs. Shoulders, like the.But shoulder's close to the breast.I think it's the most standard place point of contact with a stranger.But then one of his fingers slips.But you don't feel like someone's about to cut you off. Like, you're walking and there's gonna be a collision, and you've gotta actually, like, touch them. You always grab their shoulders, go for the knees, grab their inner thighs.Yeah. Interesting. Okay.Oh, we loved it. Like, this is the exact type of thing that makes Nate and I so happy, just thinking about this young boy.What a gift for you.Yeah, we had a lot of gifts. We love Dane. Eric Dane. He's so handsome.Friend of the pot. Check him out.Yeah.If you've missed him, I was at the americana two days before that.Seen a movie.I wasn't beating the heat. I was in the , but I didn't earn it. I just have it.Well, I earned mine.Oh, okay. Yours is an accomplishment.Yeah, exactly. Because it is not that it doesn't hurt. It's that I'm unwilling.Right.To say it hurts.Oh, my God. This is. Yeah. Did I tell you this. This great conversation Lincoln and I had on the trip about fear? I told And I thought, all right, I'll give it a shot.Okay.And I did. And I'm gonna go back.You're gonna go back to hair?Yeah, I'm gonna go back to full hair. I kind of like hairy legs.Yeah. I don't like this. No, no, it looks fine. It looks great. But it, it. First of all, I never once noticed that you had hairy legs. Which means you probably didn't well, I.Will say I have a very incongruous hair distribution, which is I have no hair on my chest and none of my likes. I don't have much on my stomach. I'm pretty hairless. Cut to legs. Legs are fully hairy. They're inordinately hairy, especially given how hairless I am everywhere else.All right, well, I'm glad you tried it. It's always good to try things.Fuck it. I don't. You know, I was like, okay, I'll do this. And then when I was doing it, my sister was in and out of the scene.God, your poor sister. I think she has to witness.Yeah. I was doing it on the balcony of my room with Lincoln. So the hair will just blow off into your house, hopefully land in your backyard.All your rats.Yeah.And my sister goes, what's happening here? And I said, oh, well, Lincoln really thinks it was time for me to trim my leg hair. And she said, oh, what a nice father you have. I used to beg Barton to cut his chest hair, and he never would. So I was like, oh, maybe this is a thing. Kids hate how hairy their parents are. It is so gross. If you're young and you're like, why are you so hairy?No, it's just life. God, we're so mean to each other. Ding, ding, ding.Kids in particular, they let it rip.Oh, yeah. I wonder if the person who wrote I was inseparable was actually a kid.Could have been a kid who just wanted you to trim your hair.That's right. Okay. He talked about the 2007 warp tour.Uh huh.And it reminded me that Callie and I went to warp tour.You did?Uh huh. In 2003. I checked with her, the date. I thought maybe that was the one I'd been to in Atlanta. Mm hmm.Was it fun, or were you scared?I think I was a little scared, but we also had fun. Callie was more adventurous. Yeah, I don't know if adventurous is the word.Okay.But, yeah, I guess maybe it's the word.But she was fearless. Is that what we were going for?I guess she wasn't scared.Right. So adventurous.Yeah, but she's not advent. That's not a word I would ever.Use to describe, so it's a confident, mature.I think she was. No, I was mature. No, I think she. She was a little bit more spunky, maybe.Okay, savvy.No, I was very savvy.Okay. She was spunky.I forgot to mention this the other day when we were talking about Noah's birthday party. Strawberry boy. Yeah. Max's dad, Robert. I want to shout out Robert.Oh, interesting.He came up to me and he said, monica, I'm an armchair.No. Oh, my God.So sweet.He must be such a good dad if he's an armchair.He's a very nice person.Oh, wow.Very nice. Shout out Julie. She also listens. That's Max's mom. Okay, while we're at it, I should shout out Callie's dad, Dan. He also listens.Oh, my God.I know all these nice parents. They're really nice. Oh, I think my friend. Okay, I don't. I guess we don't.Jake.I think my friend Christina's translation. Thank you, guys. I really. It is so sweet that people who are in our lives, and especially parents. I don't expect any parents to ever be listening to it.Does it scare you at all?I don't think.You don't think on it too hard.I don't want to think on it too hard, but I do think it's very kind anyway. Okay, I wanted to play.This should get right up to their mouth on the screen.Close your eyes, let the rhythm get into you don't try to fight it there ain't nothing that you can do relax your mind lay back and move with my. You gotta feel that he and we go by the boogey. Share that be the love. I wanna rock with you dance you in today I wanna rock with you all night we're gonna rock the night away.He's so good.He's so good. I admire anyone who tries to dupe Michael Jackson. That's why when I saw it, the board, when they did the Quincy Jones retrospective and they had people singing the Michael Jackson songs, I was blown away at a couple of singers that they actually sounded better, which I thought was impossible. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.He's so good. Okay, I found the exact timestamp of the episode of acquired on Taylor Swift, where they start talking about the music industry.Okay.And I was gonna listen and then recap.But you're gonna play.People should just. No, it's long. It's long, but people should listen to that. Cause they do such a good job of breaking it all down and how little money streams make and how it's all, like, broken down between the songwriter and this and that. It's very complex, but. Okay. So if you go to acquired and you search Taylor Swift, it starts. Cause these episodes are so long.Yeah.They're like 4 hours of them, right?Yeah. It starts at 1 hour, eight minutes and 38 seconds. So I highly recommend that. And then we talk about Max Martin. Max Martin. Speaking of Taylor. Ding ding ding. Why they've worked together.Oh, okay.He's just very well known music producer. Huge Swedish.Oh, so wasn't. So was like, dog or whatever. Shania Twain's husband. He was swedish, too. Or danish or something.Swedish.Yeah. That's interesting. Yes.They have a big. You didn't meet any when you were there any music producers?Maybe that guy who was mad at me at the gas station was a huge music producer. That would explain how, like, he thought things should be going.Was it this guy?Fuck. That was him. No, no, that was not. That man's much younger.Yeah. Max Martin's 53. We should have him on. That would be great. All right, well, that's it.That's all the facts.Yeah. Let me just double check to make sure I got them all. Talked a lot about tattoos.Yeah. I was gonna explain to people what a tattoo is.Yeah.Okay. How it works. I have one interesting fact about tattoos.Okay.This perplexed me for, like, 20 years. Once you learn that your full dermis replaces itself every few years.Yeah.Like, no part of your skin will be here in a few years. So how the fuck does that the tattoo stay? And I asked doctors this question I asked people for, like, 20 years.Okay.And finally someone explained to me that what's happening is that the ink is forever sinking. It just sinks through every new layer of skin to the bone. Well, no, obviously, it doesn't get inside and disappear, but that it just. It sinks as the skin grows up. Isn't that fascinating?I don't really get it.You don't?I mean, I do in some ways.But, like, it's not. Well, one interesting thing about that is, like, it's not fixed. Knowing that it's sinking, it's almost shocking. It doesn't, like, get obscured more.Right.It's, like, not permanent. That's what's interesting. It's on the move. It's like, forever on the move, sinking down into these new cells that are.Growing up, but just through one, each individual. Individual pour, though.Yeah. Or cell, or however the cell works, and it incorporates the sinking ink, I guess.Should I look it up? Just see.Okay, sure. That's one thing I never did do, is search it on the Internet, which is curious.I don't. Tattoos disappear. Okay. This says. Okay, there's. AI says tattoos can be. I hate that. By the way, the way that. Now AI is the first thing you see.Yeah. And you just don't know if it's telling you the truth or not exactly.But I'll read it anyway. Tattoos can be permanent because the body's immune system and the skin's dermis work together to hold onto the ink. When a tattoo needle punctures the skin, the immune system sends macrophage cells to the wound to close it up. The ink is a foreign invader, so the macrophages eat it up and get stuck in the dermis. When the macrophages die, they pass the ink to the next generation of macrophages, and this cycle continues indefinitely.So that's the mechanism by which it's.Sinking, passing onto the new cell.Yeah, just passing through all the new layers that are coming up.This other thing from mad rabbit tattoos says the reason tattoos last permanently is because of their location in the dermis layer of our skin, where the macrophages cells that live there hold onto your tattoo ink and pass it to future generations of cells. Like a microscopic family heirloom.So weird.Yeah. That's cool. I'm glad we talked about it.Me, too. I don't think that's, like, a super common curiosity. It's just permanent. That's that. You hear it's permanent, and you're like, okay, next thing. Next topic.Yeah.How do we beat the heat? You know? Which? We're not doing terribly well in here.I'm telling. It's hot in here. I told you. I told you.I would say that. The ambient temperature in here is probably, like, 83.Yeah, I live like this.Monica, we need to get you to a pool.Still haven't been to a pool.All right, love you. Thanks for having me over. Bye.

s a very fascinating one.

It is. And some people, of course, again, you're right. There's so many nice people on there. There's so many people that are like, no, she's just kidding or whatever. A lot of defense, which is sweet. But then even that. Even when you. This is why you can't take any of it, because, well, first of all, it's a roller coaster. You're like, oh, that's nice.

Oh, my God.

That's horrible. Like, it's too much. And there was, like, one person who said, no, no, I like that you.

Have a voice picked out for her. Yeah.

Yeah.

You already have a voice picked up.

Because it was nice that she said she delivers things weird, but she means well. Okay, that's actually not helpful. Yeah. And then, of course. And I'm like, do I deliver things weird? Like, what is happening now?

I will tell you this, okay. You're not interested in my approach to all this, but I'm gonna tell it to you. So, like, when I'm on other people's things, like, I was on Theo Vaughn's podcast. I'm not gonna dare look at those comments. I was on Peter Attias. I'm not gonna dare. Like, I saw his post of our interview, and I'm like, stay away because.

People don't love you.

Well, because they're there for that host. And then I also. This could be my story. But I also think a lot of people on the right, I think I'm, like, a super far left liberal. And so I'm just immediately, no matter what I say, I'm a libtard perpetuating this terrible. So I just know when an audience, like, if I go on a show where an audience is more right leaning. I just don't even. I would never even glance at that. Cause I just assume couple hundred of those listeners are just gonna. It's a great opportunity. Sound off about the left. In those instances, I do choose to think, well, Theo's got a million listeners, and I bet most of them just liked it because we like each other.

Yeah.

Yeah. And then there's going to be this handful that negative way. So, yeah, I'm looking at her, and then I thought, what if this person is one of the people who's come up to me and said something nice?Oh, sure.Then I started to get paranoid about all the people who come up and say nice things. I'm like, well, what if they're nice in person? Because people are nice in person.Sure.But then they're.Alter ego.Yeah.Yeah. Kitsch witch.Your sister.Why do they think that's callie's? What's hers?Kitschwage was your sister's cooking thing.Yeah. What's Callie's k?Watch so close.There's a w and a c and.An h and a k. She's private, though, so don't follow her.Okay, well, you could apply. That's how you do it. When someone's private, you apply to be their friend. I've applied to many people's.Me, too.Yeah.I actually think it's fun because then you're accepted. It's harder to. I didn't see bad boys, and I really want to see it before it leaves the movie theater. Any chance you could go to. This was yesterday. And he's said, oh, my God, I can. So we met at americana at 04:00 p.m. it's so fun to go meet him at the movies at 04:00 p.m. also, it's hot as Hades in LA. Everyone needs to know. So I was also like, I want to beat the heat. I love. I get really in the mood to go to the movie theater.You and Kristen love to say, beat the heat.You gotta beat the heat. It's imperative. And so I have so much muscle memory from not having air conditioning and spending my whole day at the AMC seven in Santa Monica to beat the heat. I buy one ticket and then I go right into every single theater without pain.Yeah.So we go there, and clearly other people are there to beat the heat too, because we get in there, and at first, we have the entire movie theater to ourselves, which is so fun. We're so excited to be in there completely by ourselves. And then some older gal wanders in, and, I mean, right away, it doesn't look like she's there for bad boys. It definitely looks like she's there to beat the heat. And then she probably came from another movie that just ended because she came about five minutes.Okay.And then she just sat down in the very first seat that was offered. You know, the first seat coming out of the hallway.Yeah.No one would pick that seat in an empty movie theater.Sure.Okay. There's a lot of clues here.Okay.She sat down, and then within seven or eight minutes, she was out cold. She was beating the heat by going.You'Re taking a nap.Yes. And I'm talking dead asleep. And there was one point where the action got so loud that in her sleep, she covered her ears. And you're not gonna like this, but of course, you took a photo. I started taking pictures, and it's not a good look. For me to do that. But tell me you're not happy I did this. I want you to scroll to the left. Okay. There was a couple times where we thought she passed, as you can see in the photos. This is why this story's not very good, because, of course, I'm not gonna post these pictures, but. Oh, okay. But now, did you find them? Where she's sleeping with her hands over her earth because there's tons of gunfire and explosives going on.I'm so upset that her sleep is getting disrupted.And then the worst was I kept. I had to take every time she changed position.It's so hot.Yes. Thank chatting with the guy. We're like, what's your plan here? Are you allowed to touch her? You're gonna have to touch her. No, he's gonna have to.He's gonna have to get close to ma'am.Yes. He's gonna do all that, and then she's just gonna, in her sleep, cover her ears, and he's gonna have to touch her. And he's, like, 17, you know, he's a teenager.Bet. Where is the best place to touch someone to wake them up?This shoulder. We talked about that.Oh, you did? Okay.Yeah. You're like, you gotta poke. Just. Same way that guy poked me at the gas station. You gotta just give him a poke to the shoulder.Well, that did not go well.No, but I wasn't asleep at the movie theater.I actually. My instinct is the knee. That's too close to the pride.That's the vagina. Yeah, yeah. You're like. You're touching her legs. Shoulders, like the.But shoulder's close to the breast.I think it's the most standard place point of contact with a stranger.But then one of his fingers slips.But you don't feel like someone's about to cut you off. Like, you're walking and there's gonna be a collision, and you've gotta actually, like, touch them. You always grab their shoulders, go for the knees, grab their inner thighs.Yeah. Interesting. Okay.Oh, we loved it. Like, this is the exact type of thing that makes Nate and I so happy, just thinking about this young boy.What a gift for you.Yeah, we had a lot of gifts. We love Dane. Eric Dane. He's so handsome.Friend of the pot. Check him out.Yeah.If you've missed him, I was at the americana two days before that.Seen a movie.I wasn't beating the heat. I was in the , but I didn't earn it. I just have it.Well, I earned mine.Oh, okay. Yours is an accomplishment.Yeah, exactly. Because it is not that it doesn't hurt. It's that I'm unwilling.Right.To say it hurts.Oh, my God. This is. Yeah. Did I tell you this. This great conversation Lincoln and I had on the trip about fear? I told And I thought, all right, I'll give it a shot.Okay.And I did. And I'm gonna go back.You're gonna go back to hair?Yeah, I'm gonna go back to full hair. I kind of like hairy legs.Yeah. I don't like this. No, no, it looks fine. It looks great. But it, it. First of all, I never once noticed that you had hairy legs. Which means you probably didn't well, I.Will say I have a very incongruous hair distribution, which is I have no hair on my chest and none of my likes. I don't have much on my stomach. I'm pretty hairless. Cut to legs. Legs are fully hairy. They're inordinately hairy, especially given how hairless I am everywhere else.All right, well, I'm glad you tried it. It's always good to try things.Fuck it. I don't. You know, I was like, okay, I'll do this. And then when I was doing it, my sister was in and out of the scene.God, your poor sister. I think she has to witness.Yeah. I was doing it on the balcony of my room with Lincoln. So the hair will just blow off into your house, hopefully land in your backyard.All your rats.Yeah.And my sister goes, what's happening here? And I said, oh, well, Lincoln really thinks it was time for me to trim my leg hair. And she said, oh, what a nice father you have. I used to beg Barton to cut his chest hair, and he never would. So I was like, oh, maybe this is a thing. Kids hate how hairy their parents are. It is so gross. If you're young and you're like, why are you so hairy?No, it's just life. God, we're so mean to each other. Ding, ding, ding.Kids in particular, they let it rip.Oh, yeah. I wonder if the person who wrote I was inseparable was actually a kid.Could have been a kid who just wanted you to trim your hair.That's right. Okay. He talked about the 2007 warp tour.Uh huh.And it reminded me that Callie and I went to warp tour.You did?Uh huh. In 2003. I checked with her, the date. I thought maybe that was the one I'd been to in Atlanta. Mm hmm.Was it fun, or were you scared?I think I was a little scared, but we also had fun. Callie was more adventurous. Yeah, I don't know if adventurous is the word.Okay.But, yeah, I guess maybe it's the word.But she was fearless. Is that what we were going for?I guess she wasn't scared.Right. So adventurous.Yeah, but she's not advent. That's not a word I would ever.Use to describe, so it's a confident, mature.I think she was. No, I was mature. No, I think she. She was a little bit more spunky, maybe.Okay, savvy.No, I was very savvy.Okay. She was spunky.I forgot to mention this the other day when we were talking about Noah's birthday party. Strawberry boy. Yeah. Max's dad, Robert. I want to shout out Robert.Oh, interesting.He came up to me and he said, monica, I'm an armchair.No. Oh, my God.So sweet.He must be such a good dad if he's an armchair.He's a very nice person.Oh, wow.Very nice. Shout out Julie. She also listens. That's Max's mom. Okay, while we're at it, I should shout out Callie's dad, Dan. He also listens.Oh, my God.I know all these nice parents. They're really nice. Oh, I think my friend. Okay, I don't. I guess we don't.Jake.I think my friend Christina's translation. Thank you, guys. I really. It is so sweet that people who are in our lives, and especially parents. I don't expect any parents to ever be listening to it.Does it scare you at all?I don't think.You don't think on it too hard.I don't want to think on it too hard, but I do think it's very kind anyway. Okay, I wanted to play.This should get right up to their mouth on the screen.Close your eyes, let the rhythm get into you don't try to fight it there ain't nothing that you can do relax your mind lay back and move with my. You gotta feel that he and we go by the boogey. Share that be the love. I wanna rock with you dance you in today I wanna rock with you all night we're gonna rock the night away.He's so good.He's so good. I admire anyone who tries to dupe Michael Jackson. That's why when I saw it, the board, when they did the Quincy Jones retrospective and they had people singing the Michael Jackson songs, I was blown away at a couple of singers that they actually sounded better, which I thought was impossible. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.He's so good. Okay, I found the exact timestamp of the episode of acquired on Taylor Swift, where they start talking about the music industry.Okay.And I was gonna listen and then recap.But you're gonna play.People should just. No, it's long. It's long, but people should listen to that. Cause they do such a good job of breaking it all down and how little money streams make and how it's all, like, broken down between the songwriter and this and that. It's very complex, but. Okay. So if you go to acquired and you search Taylor Swift, it starts. Cause these episodes are so long.Yeah.They're like 4 hours of them, right?Yeah. It starts at 1 hour, eight minutes and 38 seconds. So I highly recommend that. And then we talk about Max Martin. Max Martin. Speaking of Taylor. Ding ding ding. Why they've worked together.Oh, okay.He's just very well known music producer. Huge Swedish.Oh, so wasn't. So was like, dog or whatever. Shania Twain's husband. He was swedish, too. Or danish or something.Swedish.Yeah. That's interesting. Yes.They have a big. You didn't meet any when you were there any music producers?Maybe that guy who was mad at me at the gas station was a huge music producer. That would explain how, like, he thought things should be going.Was it this guy?Fuck. That was him. No, no, that was not. That man's much younger.Yeah. Max Martin's 53. We should have him on. That would be great. All right, well, that's it.That's all the facts.Yeah. Let me just double check to make sure I got them all. Talked a lot about tattoos.Yeah. I was gonna explain to people what a tattoo is.Yeah.Okay. How it works. I have one interesting fact about tattoos.Okay.This perplexed me for, like, 20 years. Once you learn that your full dermis replaces itself every few years.Yeah.Like, no part of your skin will be here in a few years. So how the fuck does that the tattoo stay? And I asked doctors this question I asked people for, like, 20 years.Okay.And finally someone explained to me that what's happening is that the ink is forever sinking. It just sinks through every new layer of skin to the bone. Well, no, obviously, it doesn't get inside and disappear, but that it just. It sinks as the skin grows up. Isn't that fascinating?I don't really get it.You don't?I mean, I do in some ways.But, like, it's not. Well, one interesting thing about that is, like, it's not fixed. Knowing that it's sinking, it's almost shocking. It doesn't, like, get obscured more.Right.It's, like, not permanent. That's what's interesting. It's on the move. It's like, forever on the move, sinking down into these new cells that are.Growing up, but just through one, each individual. Individual pour, though.Yeah. Or cell, or however the cell works, and it incorporates the sinking ink, I guess.Should I look it up? Just see.Okay, sure. That's one thing I never did do, is search it on the Internet, which is curious.I don't. Tattoos disappear. Okay. This says. Okay, there's. AI says tattoos can be. I hate that. By the way, the way that. Now AI is the first thing you see.Yeah. And you just don't know if it's telling you the truth or not exactly.But I'll read it anyway. Tattoos can be permanent because the body's immune system and the skin's dermis work together to hold onto the ink. When a tattoo needle punctures the skin, the immune system sends macrophage cells to the wound to close it up. The ink is a foreign invader, so the macrophages eat it up and get stuck in the dermis. When the macrophages die, they pass the ink to the next generation of macrophages, and this cycle continues indefinitely.So that's the mechanism by which it's.Sinking, passing onto the new cell.Yeah, just passing through all the new layers that are coming up.This other thing from mad rabbit tattoos says the reason tattoos last permanently is because of their location in the dermis layer of our skin, where the macrophages cells that live there hold onto your tattoo ink and pass it to future generations of cells. Like a microscopic family heirloom.So weird.Yeah. That's cool. I'm glad we talked about it.Me, too. I don't think that's, like, a super common curiosity. It's just permanent. That's that. You hear it's permanent, and you're like, okay, next thing. Next topic.Yeah.How do we beat the heat? You know? Which? We're not doing terribly well in here.I'm telling. It's hot in here. I told you. I told you.I would say that. The ambient temperature in here is probably, like, 83.Yeah, I live like this.Monica, we need to get you to a pool.Still haven't been to a pool.All right, love you. Thanks for having me over. Bye.

negative way. So, yeah, I'm looking at her, and then I thought, what if this person is one of the people who's come up to me and said something nice?

Oh, sure.

Then I started to get paranoid about all the people who come up and say nice things. I'm like, well, what if they're nice in person? Because people are nice in person.

Sure.

But then they're.

Alter ego.

Yeah.

Yeah. Kitsch witch.

Your sister.

Why do they think that's callie's? What's hers?

Kitschwage was your sister's cooking thing.

Yeah. What's Callie's k?

Watch so close.

There's a w and a c and.

An h and a k. She's private, though, so don't follow her.

Okay, well, you could apply. That's how you do it. When someone's private, you apply to be their friend. I've applied to many people's.

Me, too.

Yeah.

I actually think it's fun because then you're accepted. It's harder to. I didn't see bad boys, and I really want to see it before it leaves the movie theater. Any chance you could go to. This was yesterday. And he's said, oh, my God, I can. So we met at americana at 04:00 p.m. it's so fun to go meet him at the movies at 04:00 p.m. also, it's hot as Hades in LA. Everyone needs to know. So I was also like, I want to beat the heat. I love. I get really in the mood to go to the movie theater.You and Kristen love to say, beat the heat.You gotta beat the heat. It's imperative. And so I have so much muscle memory from not having air conditioning and spending my whole day at the AMC seven in Santa Monica to beat the heat. I buy one ticket and then I go right into every single theater without pain.Yeah.So we go there, and clearly other people are there to beat the heat too, because we get in there, and at first, we have the entire movie theater to ourselves, which is so fun. We're so excited to be in there completely by ourselves. And then some older gal wanders in, and, I mean, right away, it doesn't look like she's there for bad boys. It definitely looks like she's there to beat the heat. And then she probably came from another movie that just ended because she came about five minutes.Okay.And then she just sat down in the very first seat that was offered. You know, the first seat coming out of the hallway.Yeah.No one would pick that seat in an empty movie theater.Sure.Okay. There's a lot of clues here.Okay.She sat down, and then within seven or eight minutes, she was out cold. She was beating the heat by going.You'Re taking a nap.Yes. And I'm talking dead asleep. And there was one point where the action got so loud that in her sleep, she covered her ears. And you're not gonna like this, but of course, you took a photo. I started taking pictures, and it's not a good look. For me to do that. But tell me you're not happy I did this. I want you to scroll to the left. Okay. There was a couple times where we thought she passed, as you can see in the photos. This is why this story's not very good, because, of course, I'm not gonna post these pictures, but. Oh, okay. But now, did you find them? Where she's sleeping with her hands over her earth because there's tons of gunfire and explosives going on.I'm so upset that her sleep is getting disrupted.And then the worst was I kept. I had to take every time she changed position.It's so hot.Yes. Thank chatting with the guy. We're like, what's your plan here? Are you allowed to touch her? You're gonna have to touch her. No, he's gonna have to.He's gonna have to get close to ma'am.Yes. He's gonna do all that, and then she's just gonna, in her sleep, cover her ears, and he's gonna have to touch her. And he's, like, 17, you know, he's a teenager.Bet. Where is the best place to touch someone to wake them up?This shoulder. We talked about that.Oh, you did? Okay.Yeah. You're like, you gotta poke. Just. Same way that guy poked me at the gas station. You gotta just give him a poke to the shoulder.Well, that did not go well.No, but I wasn't asleep at the movie theater.I actually. My instinct is the knee. That's too close to the pride.That's the vagina. Yeah, yeah. You're like. You're touching her legs. Shoulders, like the.But shoulder's close to the breast.I think it's the most standard place point of contact with a stranger.But then one of his fingers slips.But you don't feel like someone's about to cut you off. Like, you're walking and there's gonna be a collision, and you've gotta actually, like, touch them. You always grab their shoulders, go for the knees, grab their inner thighs.Yeah. Interesting. Okay.Oh, we loved it. Like, this is the exact type of thing that makes Nate and I so happy, just thinking about this young boy.What a gift for you.Yeah, we had a lot of gifts. We love Dane. Eric Dane. He's so handsome.Friend of the pot. Check him out.Yeah.If you've missed him, I was at the americana two days before that.Seen a movie.I wasn't beating the heat. I was in the , but I didn't earn it. I just have it.Well, I earned mine.Oh, okay. Yours is an accomplishment.Yeah, exactly. Because it is not that it doesn't hurt. It's that I'm unwilling.Right.To say it hurts.Oh, my God. This is. Yeah. Did I tell you this. This great conversation Lincoln and I had on the trip about fear? I told And I thought, all right, I'll give it a shot.Okay.And I did. And I'm gonna go back.You're gonna go back to hair?Yeah, I'm gonna go back to full hair. I kind of like hairy legs.Yeah. I don't like this. No, no, it looks fine. It looks great. But it, it. First of all, I never once noticed that you had hairy legs. Which means you probably didn't well, I.Will say I have a very incongruous hair distribution, which is I have no hair on my chest and none of my likes. I don't have much on my stomach. I'm pretty hairless. Cut to legs. Legs are fully hairy. They're inordinately hairy, especially given how hairless I am everywhere else.All right, well, I'm glad you tried it. It's always good to try things.Fuck it. I don't. You know, I was like, okay, I'll do this. And then when I was doing it, my sister was in and out of the scene.God, your poor sister. I think she has to witness.Yeah. I was doing it on the balcony of my room with Lincoln. So the hair will just blow off into your house, hopefully land in your backyard.All your rats.Yeah.And my sister goes, what's happening here? And I said, oh, well, Lincoln really thinks it was time for me to trim my leg hair. And she said, oh, what a nice father you have. I used to beg Barton to cut his chest hair, and he never would. So I was like, oh, maybe this is a thing. Kids hate how hairy their parents are. It is so gross. If you're young and you're like, why are you so hairy?No, it's just life. God, we're so mean to each other. Ding, ding, ding.Kids in particular, they let it rip.Oh, yeah. I wonder if the person who wrote I was inseparable was actually a kid.Could have been a kid who just wanted you to trim your hair.That's right. Okay. He talked about the 2007 warp tour.Uh huh.And it reminded me that Callie and I went to warp tour.You did?Uh huh. In 2003. I checked with her, the date. I thought maybe that was the one I'd been to in Atlanta. Mm hmm.Was it fun, or were you scared?I think I was a little scared, but we also had fun. Callie was more adventurous. Yeah, I don't know if adventurous is the word.Okay.But, yeah, I guess maybe it's the word.But she was fearless. Is that what we were going for?I guess she wasn't scared.Right. So adventurous.Yeah, but she's not advent. That's not a word I would ever.Use to describe, so it's a confident, mature.I think she was. No, I was mature. No, I think she. She was a little bit more spunky, maybe.Okay, savvy.No, I was very savvy.Okay. She was spunky.I forgot to mention this the other day when we were talking about Noah's birthday party. Strawberry boy. Yeah. Max's dad, Robert. I want to shout out Robert.Oh, interesting.He came up to me and he said, monica, I'm an armchair.No. Oh, my God.So sweet.He must be such a good dad if he's an armchair.He's a very nice person.Oh, wow.Very nice. Shout out Julie. She also listens. That's Max's mom. Okay, while we're at it, I should shout out Callie's dad, Dan. He also listens.Oh, my God.I know all these nice parents. They're really nice. Oh, I think my friend. Okay, I don't. I guess we don't.Jake.I think my friend Christina's translation. Thank you, guys. I really. It is so sweet that people who are in our lives, and especially parents. I don't expect any parents to ever be listening to it.Does it scare you at all?I don't think.You don't think on it too hard.I don't want to think on it too hard, but I do think it's very kind anyway. Okay, I wanted to play.This should get right up to their mouth on the screen.Close your eyes, let the rhythm get into you don't try to fight it there ain't nothing that you can do relax your mind lay back and move with my. You gotta feel that he and we go by the boogey. Share that be the love. I wanna rock with you dance you in today I wanna rock with you all night we're gonna rock the night away.He's so good.He's so good. I admire anyone who tries to dupe Michael Jackson. That's why when I saw it, the board, when they did the Quincy Jones retrospective and they had people singing the Michael Jackson songs, I was blown away at a couple of singers that they actually sounded better, which I thought was impossible. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.He's so good. Okay, I found the exact timestamp of the episode of acquired on Taylor Swift, where they start talking about the music industry.Okay.And I was gonna listen and then recap.But you're gonna play.People should just. No, it's long. It's long, but people should listen to that. Cause they do such a good job of breaking it all down and how little money streams make and how it's all, like, broken down between the songwriter and this and that. It's very complex, but. Okay. So if you go to acquired and you search Taylor Swift, it starts. Cause these episodes are so long.Yeah.They're like 4 hours of them, right?Yeah. It starts at 1 hour, eight minutes and 38 seconds. So I highly recommend that. And then we talk about Max Martin. Max Martin. Speaking of Taylor. Ding ding ding. Why they've worked together.Oh, okay.He's just very well known music producer. Huge Swedish.Oh, so wasn't. So was like, dog or whatever. Shania Twain's husband. He was swedish, too. Or danish or something.Swedish.Yeah. That's interesting. Yes.They have a big. You didn't meet any when you were there any music producers?Maybe that guy who was mad at me at the gas station was a huge music producer. That would explain how, like, he thought things should be going.Was it this guy?Fuck. That was him. No, no, that was not. That man's much younger.Yeah. Max Martin's 53. We should have him on. That would be great. All right, well, that's it.That's all the facts.Yeah. Let me just double check to make sure I got them all. Talked a lot about tattoos.Yeah. I was gonna explain to people what a tattoo is.Yeah.Okay. How it works. I have one interesting fact about tattoos.Okay.This perplexed me for, like, 20 years. Once you learn that your full dermis replaces itself every few years.Yeah.Like, no part of your skin will be here in a few years. So how the fuck does that the tattoo stay? And I asked doctors this question I asked people for, like, 20 years.Okay.And finally someone explained to me that what's happening is that the ink is forever sinking. It just sinks through every new layer of skin to the bone. Well, no, obviously, it doesn't get inside and disappear, but that it just. It sinks as the skin grows up. Isn't that fascinating?I don't really get it.You don't?I mean, I do in some ways.But, like, it's not. Well, one interesting thing about that is, like, it's not fixed. Knowing that it's sinking, it's almost shocking. It doesn't, like, get obscured more.Right.It's, like, not permanent. That's what's interesting. It's on the move. It's like, forever on the move, sinking down into these new cells that are.Growing up, but just through one, each individual. Individual pour, though.Yeah. Or cell, or however the cell works, and it incorporates the sinking ink, I guess.Should I look it up? Just see.Okay, sure. That's one thing I never did do, is search it on the Internet, which is curious.I don't. Tattoos disappear. Okay. This says. Okay, there's. AI says tattoos can be. I hate that. By the way, the way that. Now AI is the first thing you see.Yeah. And you just don't know if it's telling you the truth or not exactly.But I'll read it anyway. Tattoos can be permanent because the body's immune system and the skin's dermis work together to hold onto the ink. When a tattoo needle punctures the skin, the immune system sends macrophage cells to the wound to close it up. The ink is a foreign invader, so the macrophages eat it up and get stuck in the dermis. When the macrophages die, they pass the ink to the next generation of macrophages, and this cycle continues indefinitely.So that's the mechanism by which it's.Sinking, passing onto the new cell.Yeah, just passing through all the new layers that are coming up.This other thing from mad rabbit tattoos says the reason tattoos last permanently is because of their location in the dermis layer of our skin, where the macrophages cells that live there hold onto your tattoo ink and pass it to future generations of cells. Like a microscopic family heirloom.So weird.Yeah. That's cool. I'm glad we talked about it.Me, too. I don't think that's, like, a super common curiosity. It's just permanent. That's that. You hear it's permanent, and you're like, okay, next thing. Next topic.Yeah.How do we beat the heat? You know? Which? We're not doing terribly well in here.I'm telling. It's hot in here. I told you. I told you.I would say that. The ambient temperature in here is probably, like, 83.Yeah, I live like this.Monica, we need to get you to a pool.Still haven't been to a pool.All right, love you. Thanks for having me over. Bye.

. I didn't see bad boys, and I really want to see it before it leaves the movie theater. Any chance you could go to. This was yesterday. And he's said, oh, my God, I can. So we met at americana at 04:00 p.m. it's so fun to go meet him at the movies at 04:00 p.m. also, it's hot as Hades in LA. Everyone needs to know. So I was also like, I want to beat the heat. I love. I get really in the mood to go to the movie theater.

You and Kristen love to say, beat the heat.

You gotta beat the heat. It's imperative. And so I have so much muscle memory from not having air conditioning and spending my whole day at the AMC seven in Santa Monica to beat the heat. I buy one ticket and then I go right into every single theater without pain.

Yeah.

So we go there, and clearly other people are there to beat the heat too, because we get in there, and at first, we have the entire movie theater to ourselves, which is so fun. We're so excited to be in there completely by ourselves. And then some older gal wanders in, and, I mean, right away, it doesn't look like she's there for bad boys. It definitely looks like she's there to beat the heat. And then she probably came from another movie that just ended because she came about five minutes.

Okay.

And then she just sat down in the very first seat that was offered. You know, the first seat coming out of the hallway.

Yeah.

No one would pick that seat in an empty movie theater.

Sure.

Okay. There's a lot of clues here.

Okay.

She sat down, and then within seven or eight minutes, she was out cold. She was beating the heat by going.

You'Re taking a nap.

Yes. And I'm talking dead asleep. And there was one point where the action got so loud that in her sleep, she covered her ears. And you're not gonna like this, but of course, you took a photo. I started taking pictures, and it's not a good look. For me to do that. But tell me you're not happy I did this. I want you to scroll to the left. Okay. There was a couple times where we thought she passed, as you can see in the photos. This is why this story's not very good, because, of course, I'm not gonna post these pictures, but. Oh, okay. But now, did you find them? Where she's sleeping with her hands over her earth because there's tons of gunfire and explosives going on.

I'm so upset that her sleep is getting disrupted.

And then the worst was I kept. I had to take every time she changed position.

It's so hot.

Yes. Thank chatting with the guy. We're like, what's your plan here? Are you allowed to touch her? You're gonna have to touch her. No, he's gonna have to.He's gonna have to get close to ma'am.Yes. He's gonna do all that, and then she's just gonna, in her sleep, cover her ears, and he's gonna have to touch her. And he's, like, 17, you know, he's a teenager.Bet. Where is the best place to touch someone to wake them up?This shoulder. We talked about that.Oh, you did? Okay.Yeah. You're like, you gotta poke. Just. Same way that guy poked me at the gas station. You gotta just give him a poke to the shoulder.Well, that did not go well.No, but I wasn't asleep at the movie theater.I actually. My instinct is the knee. That's too close to the pride.That's the vagina. Yeah, yeah. You're like. You're touching her legs. Shoulders, like the.But shoulder's close to the breast.I think it's the most standard place point of contact with a stranger.But then one of his fingers slips.But you don't feel like someone's about to cut you off. Like, you're walking and there's gonna be a collision, and you've gotta actually, like, touch them. You always grab their shoulders, go for the knees, grab their inner thighs.Yeah. Interesting. Okay.Oh, we loved it. Like, this is the exact type of thing that makes Nate and I so happy, just thinking about this young boy.What a gift for you.Yeah, we had a lot of gifts. We love Dane. Eric Dane. He's so handsome.Friend of the pot. Check him out.Yeah.If you've missed him, I was at the americana two days before that.Seen a movie.I wasn't beating the heat. I was in the , but I didn't earn it. I just have it.Well, I earned mine.Oh, okay. Yours is an accomplishment.Yeah, exactly. Because it is not that it doesn't hurt. It's that I'm unwilling.Right.To say it hurts.Oh, my God. This is. Yeah. Did I tell you this. This great conversation Lincoln and I had on the trip about fear? I told And I thought, all right, I'll give it a shot.Okay.And I did. And I'm gonna go back.You're gonna go back to hair?Yeah, I'm gonna go back to full hair. I kind of like hairy legs.Yeah. I don't like this. No, no, it looks fine. It looks great. But it, it. First of all, I never once noticed that you had hairy legs. Which means you probably didn't well, I.Will say I have a very incongruous hair distribution, which is I have no hair on my chest and none of my likes. I don't have much on my stomach. I'm pretty hairless. Cut to legs. Legs are fully hairy. They're inordinately hairy, especially given how hairless I am everywhere else.All right, well, I'm glad you tried it. It's always good to try things.Fuck it. I don't. You know, I was like, okay, I'll do this. And then when I was doing it, my sister was in and out of the scene.God, your poor sister. I think she has to witness.Yeah. I was doing it on the balcony of my room with Lincoln. So the hair will just blow off into your house, hopefully land in your backyard.All your rats.Yeah.And my sister goes, what's happening here? And I said, oh, well, Lincoln really thinks it was time for me to trim my leg hair. And she said, oh, what a nice father you have. I used to beg Barton to cut his chest hair, and he never would. So I was like, oh, maybe this is a thing. Kids hate how hairy their parents are. It is so gross. If you're young and you're like, why are you so hairy?No, it's just life. God, we're so mean to each other. Ding, ding, ding.Kids in particular, they let it rip.Oh, yeah. I wonder if the person who wrote I was inseparable was actually a kid.Could have been a kid who just wanted you to trim your hair.That's right. Okay. He talked about the 2007 warp tour.Uh huh.And it reminded me that Callie and I went to warp tour.You did?Uh huh. In 2003. I checked with her, the date. I thought maybe that was the one I'd been to in Atlanta. Mm hmm.Was it fun, or were you scared?I think I was a little scared, but we also had fun. Callie was more adventurous. Yeah, I don't know if adventurous is the word.Okay.But, yeah, I guess maybe it's the word.But she was fearless. Is that what we were going for?I guess she wasn't scared.Right. So adventurous.Yeah, but she's not advent. That's not a word I would ever.Use to describe, so it's a confident, mature.I think she was. No, I was mature. No, I think she. She was a little bit more spunky, maybe.Okay, savvy.No, I was very savvy.Okay. She was spunky.I forgot to mention this the other day when we were talking about Noah's birthday party. Strawberry boy. Yeah. Max's dad, Robert. I want to shout out Robert.Oh, interesting.He came up to me and he said, monica, I'm an armchair.No. Oh, my God.So sweet.He must be such a good dad if he's an armchair.He's a very nice person.Oh, wow.Very nice. Shout out Julie. She also listens. That's Max's mom. Okay, while we're at it, I should shout out Callie's dad, Dan. He also listens.Oh, my God.I know all these nice parents. They're really nice. Oh, I think my friend. Okay, I don't. I guess we don't.Jake.I think my friend Christina's translation. Thank you, guys. I really. It is so sweet that people who are in our lives, and especially parents. I don't expect any parents to ever be listening to it.Does it scare you at all?I don't think.You don't think on it too hard.I don't want to think on it too hard, but I do think it's very kind anyway. Okay, I wanted to play.This should get right up to their mouth on the screen.Close your eyes, let the rhythm get into you don't try to fight it there ain't nothing that you can do relax your mind lay back and move with my. You gotta feel that he and we go by the boogey. Share that be the love. I wanna rock with you dance you in today I wanna rock with you all night we're gonna rock the night away.He's so good.He's so good. I admire anyone who tries to dupe Michael Jackson. That's why when I saw it, the board, when they did the Quincy Jones retrospective and they had people singing the Michael Jackson songs, I was blown away at a couple of singers that they actually sounded better, which I thought was impossible. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.He's so good. Okay, I found the exact timestamp of the episode of acquired on Taylor Swift, where they start talking about the music industry.Okay.And I was gonna listen and then recap.But you're gonna play.People should just. No, it's long. It's long, but people should listen to that. Cause they do such a good job of breaking it all down and how little money streams make and how it's all, like, broken down between the songwriter and this and that. It's very complex, but. Okay. So if you go to acquired and you search Taylor Swift, it starts. Cause these episodes are so long.Yeah.They're like 4 hours of them, right?Yeah. It starts at 1 hour, eight minutes and 38 seconds. So I highly recommend that. And then we talk about Max Martin. Max Martin. Speaking of Taylor. Ding ding ding. Why they've worked together.Oh, okay.He's just very well known music producer. Huge Swedish.Oh, so wasn't. So was like, dog or whatever. Shania Twain's husband. He was swedish, too. Or danish or something.Swedish.Yeah. That's interesting. Yes.They have a big. You didn't meet any when you were there any music producers?Maybe that guy who was mad at me at the gas station was a huge music producer. That would explain how, like, he thought things should be going.Was it this guy?Fuck. That was him. No, no, that was not. That man's much younger.Yeah. Max Martin's 53. We should have him on. That would be great. All right, well, that's it.That's all the facts.Yeah. Let me just double check to make sure I got them all. Talked a lot about tattoos.Yeah. I was gonna explain to people what a tattoo is.Yeah.Okay. How it works. I have one interesting fact about tattoos.Okay.This perplexed me for, like, 20 years. Once you learn that your full dermis replaces itself every few years.Yeah.Like, no part of your skin will be here in a few years. So how the fuck does that the tattoo stay? And I asked doctors this question I asked people for, like, 20 years.Okay.And finally someone explained to me that what's happening is that the ink is forever sinking. It just sinks through every new layer of skin to the bone. Well, no, obviously, it doesn't get inside and disappear, but that it just. It sinks as the skin grows up. Isn't that fascinating?I don't really get it.You don't?I mean, I do in some ways.But, like, it's not. Well, one interesting thing about that is, like, it's not fixed. Knowing that it's sinking, it's almost shocking. It doesn't, like, get obscured more.Right.It's, like, not permanent. That's what's interesting. It's on the move. It's like, forever on the move, sinking down into these new cells that are.Growing up, but just through one, each individual. Individual pour, though.Yeah. Or cell, or however the cell works, and it incorporates the sinking ink, I guess.Should I look it up? Just see.Okay, sure. That's one thing I never did do, is search it on the Internet, which is curious.I don't. Tattoos disappear. Okay. This says. Okay, there's. AI says tattoos can be. I hate that. By the way, the way that. Now AI is the first thing you see.Yeah. And you just don't know if it's telling you the truth or not exactly.But I'll read it anyway. Tattoos can be permanent because the body's immune system and the skin's dermis work together to hold onto the ink. When a tattoo needle punctures the skin, the immune system sends macrophage cells to the wound to close it up. The ink is a foreign invader, so the macrophages eat it up and get stuck in the dermis. When the macrophages die, they pass the ink to the next generation of macrophages, and this cycle continues indefinitely.So that's the mechanism by which it's.Sinking, passing onto the new cell.Yeah, just passing through all the new layers that are coming up.This other thing from mad rabbit tattoos says the reason tattoos last permanently is because of their location in the dermis layer of our skin, where the macrophages cells that live there hold onto your tattoo ink and pass it to future generations of cells. Like a microscopic family heirloom.So weird.Yeah. That's cool. I'm glad we talked about it.Me, too. I don't think that's, like, a super common curiosity. It's just permanent. That's that. You hear it's permanent, and you're like, okay, next thing. Next topic.Yeah.How do we beat the heat? You know? Which? We're not doing terribly well in here.I'm telling. It's hot in here. I told you. I told you.I would say that. The ambient temperature in here is probably, like, 83.Yeah, I live like this.Monica, we need to get you to a pool.Still haven't been to a pool.All right, love you. Thanks for having me over. Bye.

chatting with the guy. We're like, what's your plan here? Are you allowed to touch her? You're gonna have to touch her. No, he's gonna have to.

He's gonna have to get close to ma'am.

Yes. He's gonna do all that, and then she's just gonna, in her sleep, cover her ears, and he's gonna have to touch her. And he's, like, 17, you know, he's a teenager.

Bet. Where is the best place to touch someone to wake them up?

This shoulder. We talked about that.

Oh, you did? Okay.

Yeah. You're like, you gotta poke. Just. Same way that guy poked me at the gas station. You gotta just give him a poke to the shoulder.

Well, that did not go well.

No, but I wasn't asleep at the movie theater.

I actually. My instinct is the knee. That's too close to the pride.

That's the vagina. Yeah, yeah. You're like. You're touching her legs. Shoulders, like the.

But shoulder's close to the breast.

I think it's the most standard place point of contact with a stranger.

But then one of his fingers slips.

But you don't feel like someone's about to cut you off. Like, you're walking and there's gonna be a collision, and you've gotta actually, like, touch them. You always grab their shoulders, go for the knees, grab their inner thighs.

Yeah. Interesting. Okay.

Oh, we loved it. Like, this is the exact type of thing that makes Nate and I so happy, just thinking about this young boy.

What a gift for you.

Yeah, we had a lot of gifts. We love Dane. Eric Dane. He's so handsome.

Friend of the pot. Check him out.

Yeah.

If you've missed him, I was at the americana two days before that.

Seen a movie.

I wasn't beating the heat. I was in the , but I didn't earn it. I just have it.Well, I earned mine.Oh, okay. Yours is an accomplishment.Yeah, exactly. Because it is not that it doesn't hurt. It's that I'm unwilling.Right.To say it hurts.Oh, my God. This is. Yeah. Did I tell you this. This great conversation Lincoln and I had on the trip about fear? I told And I thought, all right, I'll give it a shot.Okay.And I did. And I'm gonna go back.You're gonna go back to hair?Yeah, I'm gonna go back to full hair. I kind of like hairy legs.Yeah. I don't like this. No, no, it looks fine. It looks great. But it, it. First of all, I never once noticed that you had hairy legs. Which means you probably didn't well, I.Will say I have a very incongruous hair distribution, which is I have no hair on my chest and none of my likes. I don't have much on my stomach. I'm pretty hairless. Cut to legs. Legs are fully hairy. They're inordinately hairy, especially given how hairless I am everywhere else.All right, well, I'm glad you tried it. It's always good to try things.Fuck it. I don't. You know, I was like, okay, I'll do this. And then when I was doing it, my sister was in and out of the scene.God, your poor sister. I think she has to witness.Yeah. I was doing it on the balcony of my room with Lincoln. So the hair will just blow off into your house, hopefully land in your backyard.All your rats.Yeah.And my sister goes, what's happening here? And I said, oh, well, Lincoln really thinks it was time for me to trim my leg hair. And she said, oh, what a nice father you have. I used to beg Barton to cut his chest hair, and he never would. So I was like, oh, maybe this is a thing. Kids hate how hairy their parents are. It is so gross. If you're young and you're like, why are you so hairy?No, it's just life. God, we're so mean to each other. Ding, ding, ding.Kids in particular, they let it rip.Oh, yeah. I wonder if the person who wrote I was inseparable was actually a kid.Could have been a kid who just wanted you to trim your hair.That's right. Okay. He talked about the 2007 warp tour.Uh huh.And it reminded me that Callie and I went to warp tour.You did?Uh huh. In 2003. I checked with her, the date. I thought maybe that was the one I'd been to in Atlanta. Mm hmm.Was it fun, or were you scared?I think I was a little scared, but we also had fun. Callie was more adventurous. Yeah, I don't know if adventurous is the word.Okay.But, yeah, I guess maybe it's the word.But she was fearless. Is that what we were going for?I guess she wasn't scared.Right. So adventurous.Yeah, but she's not advent. That's not a word I would ever.Use to describe, so it's a confident, mature.I think she was. No, I was mature. No, I think she. She was a little bit more spunky, maybe.Okay, savvy.No, I was very savvy.Okay. She was spunky.I forgot to mention this the other day when we were talking about Noah's birthday party. Strawberry boy. Yeah. Max's dad, Robert. I want to shout out Robert.Oh, interesting.He came up to me and he said, monica, I'm an armchair.No. Oh, my God.So sweet.He must be such a good dad if he's an armchair.He's a very nice person.Oh, wow.Very nice. Shout out Julie. She also listens. That's Max's mom. Okay, while we're at it, I should shout out Callie's dad, Dan. He also listens.Oh, my God.I know all these nice parents. They're really nice. Oh, I think my friend. Okay, I don't. I guess we don't.Jake.I think my friend Christina's translation. Thank you, guys. I really. It is so sweet that people who are in our lives, and especially parents. I don't expect any parents to ever be listening to it.Does it scare you at all?I don't think.You don't think on it too hard.I don't want to think on it too hard, but I do think it's very kind anyway. Okay, I wanted to play.This should get right up to their mouth on the screen.Close your eyes, let the rhythm get into you don't try to fight it there ain't nothing that you can do relax your mind lay back and move with my. You gotta feel that he and we go by the boogey. Share that be the love. I wanna rock with you dance you in today I wanna rock with you all night we're gonna rock the night away.He's so good.He's so good. I admire anyone who tries to dupe Michael Jackson. That's why when I saw it, the board, when they did the Quincy Jones retrospective and they had people singing the Michael Jackson songs, I was blown away at a couple of singers that they actually sounded better, which I thought was impossible. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.He's so good. Okay, I found the exact timestamp of the episode of acquired on Taylor Swift, where they start talking about the music industry.Okay.And I was gonna listen and then recap.But you're gonna play.People should just. No, it's long. It's long, but people should listen to that. Cause they do such a good job of breaking it all down and how little money streams make and how it's all, like, broken down between the songwriter and this and that. It's very complex, but. Okay. So if you go to acquired and you search Taylor Swift, it starts. Cause these episodes are so long.Yeah.They're like 4 hours of them, right?Yeah. It starts at 1 hour, eight minutes and 38 seconds. So I highly recommend that. And then we talk about Max Martin. Max Martin. Speaking of Taylor. Ding ding ding. Why they've worked together.Oh, okay.He's just very well known music producer. Huge Swedish.Oh, so wasn't. So was like, dog or whatever. Shania Twain's husband. He was swedish, too. Or danish or something.Swedish.Yeah. That's interesting. Yes.They have a big. You didn't meet any when you were there any music producers?Maybe that guy who was mad at me at the gas station was a huge music producer. That would explain how, like, he thought things should be going.Was it this guy?Fuck. That was him. No, no, that was not. That man's much younger.Yeah. Max Martin's 53. We should have him on. That would be great. All right, well, that's it.That's all the facts.Yeah. Let me just double check to make sure I got them all. Talked a lot about tattoos.Yeah. I was gonna explain to people what a tattoo is.Yeah.Okay. How it works. I have one interesting fact about tattoos.Okay.This perplexed me for, like, 20 years. Once you learn that your full dermis replaces itself every few years.Yeah.Like, no part of your skin will be here in a few years. So how the fuck does that the tattoo stay? And I asked doctors this question I asked people for, like, 20 years.Okay.And finally someone explained to me that what's happening is that the ink is forever sinking. It just sinks through every new layer of skin to the bone. Well, no, obviously, it doesn't get inside and disappear, but that it just. It sinks as the skin grows up. Isn't that fascinating?I don't really get it.You don't?I mean, I do in some ways.But, like, it's not. Well, one interesting thing about that is, like, it's not fixed. Knowing that it's sinking, it's almost shocking. It doesn't, like, get obscured more.Right.It's, like, not permanent. That's what's interesting. It's on the move. It's like, forever on the move, sinking down into these new cells that are.Growing up, but just through one, each individual. Individual pour, though.Yeah. Or cell, or however the cell works, and it incorporates the sinking ink, I guess.Should I look it up? Just see.Okay, sure. That's one thing I never did do, is search it on the Internet, which is curious.I don't. Tattoos disappear. Okay. This says. Okay, there's. AI says tattoos can be. I hate that. By the way, the way that. Now AI is the first thing you see.Yeah. And you just don't know if it's telling you the truth or not exactly.But I'll read it anyway. Tattoos can be permanent because the body's immune system and the skin's dermis work together to hold onto the ink. When a tattoo needle punctures the skin, the immune system sends macrophage cells to the wound to close it up. The ink is a foreign invader, so the macrophages eat it up and get stuck in the dermis. When the macrophages die, they pass the ink to the next generation of macrophages, and this cycle continues indefinitely.So that's the mechanism by which it's.Sinking, passing onto the new cell.Yeah, just passing through all the new layers that are coming up.This other thing from mad rabbit tattoos says the reason tattoos last permanently is because of their location in the dermis layer of our skin, where the macrophages cells that live there hold onto your tattoo ink and pass it to future generations of cells. Like a microscopic family heirloom.So weird.Yeah. That's cool. I'm glad we talked about it.Me, too. I don't think that's, like, a super common curiosity. It's just permanent. That's that. You hear it's permanent, and you're like, okay, next thing. Next topic.Yeah.How do we beat the heat? You know? Which? We're not doing terribly well in here.I'm telling. It's hot in here. I told you. I told you.I would say that. The ambient temperature in here is probably, like, 83.Yeah, I live like this.Monica, we need to get you to a pool.Still haven't been to a pool.All right, love you. Thanks for having me over. Bye.

, but I didn't earn it. I just have it.

Well, I earned mine.

Oh, okay. Yours is an accomplishment.

Yeah, exactly. Because it is not that it doesn't hurt. It's that I'm unwilling.

Right.

To say it hurts.

Oh, my God. This is. Yeah. Did I tell you this. This great conversation Lincoln and I had on the trip about fear? I told And I thought, all right, I'll give it a shot.Okay.And I did. And I'm gonna go back.You're gonna go back to hair?Yeah, I'm gonna go back to full hair. I kind of like hairy legs.Yeah. I don't like this. No, no, it looks fine. It looks great. But it, it. First of all, I never once noticed that you had hairy legs. Which means you probably didn't well, I.Will say I have a very incongruous hair distribution, which is I have no hair on my chest and none of my likes. I don't have much on my stomach. I'm pretty hairless. Cut to legs. Legs are fully hairy. They're inordinately hairy, especially given how hairless I am everywhere else.All right, well, I'm glad you tried it. It's always good to try things.Fuck it. I don't. You know, I was like, okay, I'll do this. And then when I was doing it, my sister was in and out of the scene.God, your poor sister. I think she has to witness.Yeah. I was doing it on the balcony of my room with Lincoln. So the hair will just blow off into your house, hopefully land in your backyard.All your rats.Yeah.And my sister goes, what's happening here? And I said, oh, well, Lincoln really thinks it was time for me to trim my leg hair. And she said, oh, what a nice father you have. I used to beg Barton to cut his chest hair, and he never would. So I was like, oh, maybe this is a thing. Kids hate how hairy their parents are. It is so gross. If you're young and you're like, why are you so hairy?No, it's just life. God, we're so mean to each other. Ding, ding, ding.Kids in particular, they let it rip.Oh, yeah. I wonder if the person who wrote I was inseparable was actually a kid.Could have been a kid who just wanted you to trim your hair.That's right. Okay. He talked about the 2007 warp tour.Uh huh.And it reminded me that Callie and I went to warp tour.You did?Uh huh. In 2003. I checked with her, the date. I thought maybe that was the one I'd been to in Atlanta. Mm hmm.Was it fun, or were you scared?I think I was a little scared, but we also had fun. Callie was more adventurous. Yeah, I don't know if adventurous is the word.Okay.But, yeah, I guess maybe it's the word.But she was fearless. Is that what we were going for?I guess she wasn't scared.Right. So adventurous.Yeah, but she's not advent. That's not a word I would ever.Use to describe, so it's a confident, mature.I think she was. No, I was mature. No, I think she. She was a little bit more spunky, maybe.Okay, savvy.No, I was very savvy.Okay. She was spunky.I forgot to mention this the other day when we were talking about Noah's birthday party. Strawberry boy. Yeah. Max's dad, Robert. I want to shout out Robert.Oh, interesting.He came up to me and he said, monica, I'm an armchair.No. Oh, my God.So sweet.He must be such a good dad if he's an armchair.He's a very nice person.Oh, wow.Very nice. Shout out Julie. She also listens. That's Max's mom. Okay, while we're at it, I should shout out Callie's dad, Dan. He also listens.Oh, my God.I know all these nice parents. They're really nice. Oh, I think my friend. Okay, I don't. I guess we don't.Jake.I think my friend Christina's translation. Thank you, guys. I really. It is so sweet that people who are in our lives, and especially parents. I don't expect any parents to ever be listening to it.Does it scare you at all?I don't think.You don't think on it too hard.I don't want to think on it too hard, but I do think it's very kind anyway. Okay, I wanted to play.This should get right up to their mouth on the screen.Close your eyes, let the rhythm get into you don't try to fight it there ain't nothing that you can do relax your mind lay back and move with my. You gotta feel that he and we go by the boogey. Share that be the love. I wanna rock with you dance you in today I wanna rock with you all night we're gonna rock the night away.He's so good.He's so good. I admire anyone who tries to dupe Michael Jackson. That's why when I saw it, the board, when they did the Quincy Jones retrospective and they had people singing the Michael Jackson songs, I was blown away at a couple of singers that they actually sounded better, which I thought was impossible. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.He's so good. Okay, I found the exact timestamp of the episode of acquired on Taylor Swift, where they start talking about the music industry.Okay.And I was gonna listen and then recap.But you're gonna play.People should just. No, it's long. It's long, but people should listen to that. Cause they do such a good job of breaking it all down and how little money streams make and how it's all, like, broken down between the songwriter and this and that. It's very complex, but. Okay. So if you go to acquired and you search Taylor Swift, it starts. Cause these episodes are so long.Yeah.They're like 4 hours of them, right?Yeah. It starts at 1 hour, eight minutes and 38 seconds. So I highly recommend that. And then we talk about Max Martin. Max Martin. Speaking of Taylor. Ding ding ding. Why they've worked together.Oh, okay.He's just very well known music producer. Huge Swedish.Oh, so wasn't. So was like, dog or whatever. Shania Twain's husband. He was swedish, too. Or danish or something.Swedish.Yeah. That's interesting. Yes.They have a big. You didn't meet any when you were there any music producers?Maybe that guy who was mad at me at the gas station was a huge music producer. That would explain how, like, he thought things should be going.Was it this guy?Fuck. That was him. No, no, that was not. That man's much younger.Yeah. Max Martin's 53. We should have him on. That would be great. All right, well, that's it.That's all the facts.Yeah. Let me just double check to make sure I got them all. Talked a lot about tattoos.Yeah. I was gonna explain to people what a tattoo is.Yeah.Okay. How it works. I have one interesting fact about tattoos.Okay.This perplexed me for, like, 20 years. Once you learn that your full dermis replaces itself every few years.Yeah.Like, no part of your skin will be here in a few years. So how the fuck does that the tattoo stay? And I asked doctors this question I asked people for, like, 20 years.Okay.And finally someone explained to me that what's happening is that the ink is forever sinking. It just sinks through every new layer of skin to the bone. Well, no, obviously, it doesn't get inside and disappear, but that it just. It sinks as the skin grows up. Isn't that fascinating?I don't really get it.You don't?I mean, I do in some ways.But, like, it's not. Well, one interesting thing about that is, like, it's not fixed. Knowing that it's sinking, it's almost shocking. It doesn't, like, get obscured more.Right.It's, like, not permanent. That's what's interesting. It's on the move. It's like, forever on the move, sinking down into these new cells that are.Growing up, but just through one, each individual. Individual pour, though.Yeah. Or cell, or however the cell works, and it incorporates the sinking ink, I guess.Should I look it up? Just see.Okay, sure. That's one thing I never did do, is search it on the Internet, which is curious.I don't. Tattoos disappear. Okay. This says. Okay, there's. AI says tattoos can be. I hate that. By the way, the way that. Now AI is the first thing you see.Yeah. And you just don't know if it's telling you the truth or not exactly.But I'll read it anyway. Tattoos can be permanent because the body's immune system and the skin's dermis work together to hold onto the ink. When a tattoo needle punctures the skin, the immune system sends macrophage cells to the wound to close it up. The ink is a foreign invader, so the macrophages eat it up and get stuck in the dermis. When the macrophages die, they pass the ink to the next generation of macrophages, and this cycle continues indefinitely.So that's the mechanism by which it's.Sinking, passing onto the new cell.Yeah, just passing through all the new layers that are coming up.This other thing from mad rabbit tattoos says the reason tattoos last permanently is because of their location in the dermis layer of our skin, where the macrophages cells that live there hold onto your tattoo ink and pass it to future generations of cells. Like a microscopic family heirloom.So weird.Yeah. That's cool. I'm glad we talked about it.Me, too. I don't think that's, like, a super common curiosity. It's just permanent. That's that. You hear it's permanent, and you're like, okay, next thing. Next topic.Yeah.How do we beat the heat? You know? Which? We're not doing terribly well in here.I'm telling. It's hot in here. I told you. I told you.I would say that. The ambient temperature in here is probably, like, 83.Yeah, I live like this.Monica, we need to get you to a pool.Still haven't been to a pool.All right, love you. Thanks for having me over. Bye.

And I thought, all right, I'll give it a shot.

Okay.

And I did. And I'm gonna go back.

You're gonna go back to hair?

Yeah, I'm gonna go back to full hair. I kind of like hairy legs.

Yeah. I don't like this. No, no, it looks fine. It looks great. But it, it. First of all, I never once noticed that you had hairy legs. Which means you probably didn't well, I.

Will say I have a very incongruous hair distribution, which is I have no hair on my chest and none of my likes. I don't have much on my stomach. I'm pretty hairless. Cut to legs. Legs are fully hairy. They're inordinately hairy, especially given how hairless I am everywhere else.

All right, well, I'm glad you tried it. It's always good to try things.

Fuck it. I don't. You know, I was like, okay, I'll do this. And then when I was doing it, my sister was in and out of the scene.

God, your poor sister. I think she has to witness.

Yeah. I was doing it on the balcony of my room with Lincoln. So the hair will just blow off into your house, hopefully land in your backyard.

All your rats.

Yeah.

And my sister goes, what's happening here? And I said, oh, well, Lincoln really thinks it was time for me to trim my leg hair. And she said, oh, what a nice father you have. I used to beg Barton to cut his chest hair, and he never would. So I was like, oh, maybe this is a thing. Kids hate how hairy their parents are. It is so gross. If you're young and you're like, why are you so hairy?

No, it's just life. God, we're so mean to each other. Ding, ding, ding.

Kids in particular, they let it rip.

Oh, yeah. I wonder if the person who wrote I was inseparable was actually a kid.

Could have been a kid who just wanted you to trim your hair.

That's right. Okay. He talked about the 2007 warp tour.

Uh huh.

And it reminded me that Callie and I went to warp tour.

You did?

Uh huh. In 2003. I checked with her, the date. I thought maybe that was the one I'd been to in Atlanta. Mm hmm.

Was it fun, or were you scared?

I think I was a little scared, but we also had fun. Callie was more adventurous. Yeah, I don't know if adventurous is the word.

Okay.

But, yeah, I guess maybe it's the word.

But she was fearless. Is that what we were going for?

I guess she wasn't scared.

Right. So adventurous.

Yeah, but she's not advent. That's not a word I would ever.

Use to describe, so it's a confident, mature.

I think she was. No, I was mature. No, I think she. She was a little bit more spunky, maybe.

Okay, savvy.

No, I was very savvy.

Okay. She was spunky.

I forgot to mention this the other day when we were talking about Noah's birthday party. Strawberry boy. Yeah. Max's dad, Robert. I want to shout out Robert.

Oh, interesting.

He came up to me and he said, monica, I'm an armchair.

No. Oh, my God.

So sweet.

He must be such a good dad if he's an armchair.

He's a very nice person.

Oh, wow.

Very nice. Shout out Julie. She also listens. That's Max's mom. Okay, while we're at it, I should shout out Callie's dad, Dan. He also listens.

Oh, my God.

I know all these nice parents. They're really nice. Oh, I think my friend. Okay, I don't. I guess we don't.

Jake.

I think my friend Christina's translation. Thank you, guys. I really. It is so sweet that people who are in our lives, and especially parents. I don't expect any parents to ever be listening to it.

Does it scare you at all?

I don't think.

You don't think on it too hard.

I don't want to think on it too hard, but I do think it's very kind anyway. Okay, I wanted to play.

This should get right up to their mouth on the screen.

Close your eyes, let the rhythm get into you don't try to fight it there ain't nothing that you can do relax your mind lay back and move with my. You gotta feel that he and we go by the boogey. Share that be the love. I wanna rock with you dance you in today I wanna rock with you all night we're gonna rock the night away.

He's so good.

He's so good. I admire anyone who tries to dupe Michael Jackson. That's why when I saw it, the board, when they did the Quincy Jones retrospective and they had people singing the Michael Jackson songs, I was blown away at a couple of singers that they actually sounded better, which I thought was impossible. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's so good. Okay, I found the exact timestamp of the episode of acquired on Taylor Swift, where they start talking about the music industry.

Okay.

And I was gonna listen and then recap.

But you're gonna play.

People should just. No, it's long. It's long, but people should listen to that. Cause they do such a good job of breaking it all down and how little money streams make and how it's all, like, broken down between the songwriter and this and that. It's very complex, but. Okay. So if you go to acquired and you search Taylor Swift, it starts. Cause these episodes are so long.

Yeah.

They're like 4 hours of them, right?

Yeah. It starts at 1 hour, eight minutes and 38 seconds. So I highly recommend that. And then we talk about Max Martin. Max Martin. Speaking of Taylor. Ding ding ding. Why they've worked together.

Oh, okay.

He's just very well known music producer. Huge Swedish.

Oh, so wasn't. So was like, dog or whatever. Shania Twain's husband. He was swedish, too. Or danish or something.

Swedish.

Yeah. That's interesting. Yes.

They have a big. You didn't meet any when you were there any music producers?

Maybe that guy who was mad at me at the gas station was a huge music producer. That would explain how, like, he thought things should be going.

Was it this guy?

Fuck. That was him. No, no, that was not. That man's much younger.

Yeah. Max Martin's 53. We should have him on. That would be great. All right, well, that's it.

That's all the facts.

Yeah. Let me just double check to make sure I got them all. Talked a lot about tattoos.

Yeah. I was gonna explain to people what a tattoo is.

Yeah.

Okay. How it works. I have one interesting fact about tattoos.

Okay.

This perplexed me for, like, 20 years. Once you learn that your full dermis replaces itself every few years.

Yeah.

Like, no part of your skin will be here in a few years. So how the fuck does that the tattoo stay? And I asked doctors this question I asked people for, like, 20 years.

Okay.

And finally someone explained to me that what's happening is that the ink is forever sinking. It just sinks through every new layer of skin to the bone. Well, no, obviously, it doesn't get inside and disappear, but that it just. It sinks as the skin grows up. Isn't that fascinating?

I don't really get it.

You don't?

I mean, I do in some ways.

But, like, it's not. Well, one interesting thing about that is, like, it's not fixed. Knowing that it's sinking, it's almost shocking. It doesn't, like, get obscured more.

Right.

It's, like, not permanent. That's what's interesting. It's on the move. It's like, forever on the move, sinking down into these new cells that are.

Growing up, but just through one, each individual. Individual pour, though.

Yeah. Or cell, or however the cell works, and it incorporates the sinking ink, I guess.

Should I look it up? Just see.

Okay, sure. That's one thing I never did do, is search it on the Internet, which is curious.

I don't. Tattoos disappear. Okay. This says. Okay, there's. AI says tattoos can be. I hate that. By the way, the way that. Now AI is the first thing you see.

Yeah. And you just don't know if it's telling you the truth or not exactly.

But I'll read it anyway. Tattoos can be permanent because the body's immune system and the skin's dermis work together to hold onto the ink. When a tattoo needle punctures the skin, the immune system sends macrophage cells to the wound to close it up. The ink is a foreign invader, so the macrophages eat it up and get stuck in the dermis. When the macrophages die, they pass the ink to the next generation of macrophages, and this cycle continues indefinitely.

So that's the mechanism by which it's.

Sinking, passing onto the new cell.

Yeah, just passing through all the new layers that are coming up.

This other thing from mad rabbit tattoos says the reason tattoos last permanently is because of their location in the dermis layer of our skin, where the macrophages cells that live there hold onto your tattoo ink and pass it to future generations of cells. Like a microscopic family heirloom.

So weird.

Yeah. That's cool. I'm glad we talked about it.

Me, too. I don't think that's, like, a super common curiosity. It's just permanent. That's that. You hear it's permanent, and you're like, okay, next thing. Next topic.

Yeah.

How do we beat the heat? You know? Which? We're not doing terribly well in here.

I'm telling. It's hot in here. I told you. I told you.

I would say that. The ambient temperature in here is probably, like, 83.

Yeah, I live like this.

Monica, we need to get you to a pool.

Still haven't been to a pool.

All right, love you. Thanks for having me over. Bye.